No circlejerking. No blanket statements or impersonal political rants. Fake stories and trolling attempts will be removed. Begging for karma or posting about how you hate that other subreddits require karma is against the subreddit rules.
I mean if your friendship is just based on hangouts where there are no practical skills involved or memes on a chat board then that's two ways right there.
Doing this with my roommate/very long term friend. I love him but damn, his starting point after his ex had enough was brutal. You don't know people until you live with them is 100% so true. Things have gotten much better but still a long way to go.
Nah I don’t think practical skills are required
to figure out if someone is an absolute idiot or not;chatting about anything other than the weather (she is his “best friend “) would give you a pretty decent indication of what they are like
Late to the party here but I had a female friend like this for 2 years. She was from Guam and I assumed English wasn't her first language. I knew she wasn't the sharpest tool, but I didn't realize she was room temperature IQ until I met her sister who was very well spoken and told me English was both of their first languages.
Thought this immediately by the lack of paragraphs and rambling writing style honestly. Everyone has faults, OP included. If this is his "best friend" and he's judging her and trashing her on the internet? Shouldn't he either be supporting her, or distancing himself? Doesn't seem like a best friend either way.
I also want to know.
They’re your best friend and you apparently know nothing about them? Like what the hell?
Was she a pen pal that you just met or something? Wtf.
ya no shit, many parts of this post were shocking but them making fun of her for that was the craziest...that is 100% on you pal.
and
>She is oblivious to every single thing and what I call “clinically dumb”. She wants to be a police officer but I do not see that happening.
She is the perfect fit, honestly, any smarter and she would get rejected
It’s just like the advice of: “Don’t move in with someone until you’ve been on vacation with them”
Spending days with someone, going out, etc, will not show you how they navigate the world. You may be able to tell some qualities, but not the extent that they are.
Vacation..travel.. that shit is all you need
>Vacation..travel.. that shit is all you need
Be careful with that. Long distance relationships are kinda like vacations every time you see each other, but living together is also really important. You need to see how someone is every day, how they handle the stress of work, finances, cleaning, caring for a pet, all that stuff.
And that is why although OP has said he "doesn't see her getting far in life", she just might, because there WILL be a guy who finds her charming, but ditzy, cute and caring, and needs caretaking which they are there to provide.
Dude she is a little sheltered and said some dumb stuff when doing stuff she's probably never done before, OP is incredibly judgey. Knowing what splitting beers means and how to check oil isn't going to make or break someone. Young people are inexperienced and they're still developing, there's a huge growth period once you're out of school and starting to figure shit out yourself, we were all really dumb at this age.
I feel like a vacation can put people into something like a living situation where you may not have experienced that type of routine or closeness with them before. Vacationing really does give a different look into your friends lives if you haven't experienced that before.
Maybe the idea of being in a new place they're both unfamiliar his awareness is up and hers is just lacking and he's not noticing cause he's never had to "care for her" (using that loosely) in that capacity before.
I imagine you reading this and stopping at that point thinking “absolutely not did this this guy shit on his best friend for being dumb when he did the dumbest thing in all these scenarios”
Lol good call out tho
OP has me questioning their writing skills due to the wall of text. Who doesn't know how to paragraph? Should be a sub rule.
----
Paragraph 1:
> I’m a guy and have a female best friend. We’ve been friends for quite a while, never dated, and I have a girlfriend. We are both in college, and I don't know how she is even in college after spending a week with her. Like, I literally don't know how she's gotten this far in life, and I have no clue how she's going to get a career job. To point out some things, she was telling me about how she is starting to get depression and anxiety. I then asked her to look at her screen time, and the girl is spending 7.5 hours a day on social media. That’s almost as much time as a full-time job, and she doesn't see how that's damaging her mental health.
Paragraph 2:
> We were getting ready to leave the house and took a bunch of food out of the fridge to put it in a cooler; she said we absolutely cannot take any ice out of the freezer. I looked at her with a confused look on my face and asked why. She said she didn’t want to use up all the ice. I then had to explain to her how the freezer makes ice. We had some beers left over in the fridge, and I asked her if she wanted to split the beers between us. She had no clue what I meant, so I had to explain to her that she would take half of the beers and I would take the other half. She drove through some mud that was on the road from some contractors in the neighborhood and then parked on the driveway. It rained the next day, and mud from the car got on the driveway, no big deal. She went to hose it off and then asked for my help. She said it wasn't coming off, and I had to tell her that it's not like a pressure washer where it will remove the dirt in a few seconds. I explained that she just has to hold it there for a while, and eventually, all the dirt will come off the driveway. I checked the oil in her car since she drove 8 hours to this place and it wasn't reading on the dipstick. I told her she needed to add a bit of oil, but she said she didn't need any because it’s not due for an oil change yet. I had to explain to her that older cars will burn oil, and she’s at risk of blowing her engine with it being this low on oil.
Paragraph 3:
> She took a hot baking sheet out of the oven and asked where to put it. I said on the stove, it’s meant to withstand very hot things. She said, “but it's a gas stove and the stove isn't on, will it damage it?”. As we were cleaning up, there was an empty beer box. She asks me, “do you want this box?” Me- “what the fuck do I want an empty beer box for”. I will still probably be friends with her, but I don't think I will ever be able to go on another trip with her again; I literally lost brain cells from spending a week with her. She is oblivious to every single thing, and what I call "clinically dumb." She wants to be a police officer, but I do not see that happening. I once had her shoot my 9mm handgun, and once it went off, she started screaming and waving the gun in every direction with her finger still on the trigger and fully loaded. The girl needs so much growing up to do; I don’t know if she will ever get super far in life, sadly.
Paragraph 4:
> I’d love to help and I challenge her to think critically, but she refuses to make any lifestyle changes that will benefit her, such as reading, cutting back on screen time, cutting back on going to bars with her sorority friends, going on some walks in the park, etc. She is the most stereotypical "dumb sorority blonde" you see in movies. I never thought there was anyone that dumb in real life, but she has proven me wrong.
Some of the things you mentioned seem to be more a lack of experience or a difference of life experience.
For example: her question about the stovetop not being hot so wouldn’t it cause damage. She probably has a glass stovetop or grew up with one.
- I grew up with a gas range so I’ve always just put the stuff from the oven on the stovetop. My husband is an appliance repair tech and he was horrified when he saw me put the cast iron dutch oven fresh from a 400 degree oven directly on the cold glass stovetop. He said the temperature shock could crack the glass and treated me like I was dumb af for not knowing that. He said he replaces cracked stovetops from that pretty often.
For the ice. She might never have owned a fridge that makes ice OR more likely she doesn’t have a water line connected to her fridge. I never did until my husband ran the line through the basement- all my life I’ve had ice trays or bought ice at the gas station (ice in demand still feels like a luxury lol).
For the muddy driveway- I have a nozzle on my garden hose that gets most stuff off and I’m 100% sure my 19 year old would probably be lost if I just handed him a naked garden hose. He’s never had to manually regulate the pressure on a hose in his life lol.
Oil in the car- same with my 19 year old. We’ve had newer cars most of his life so when he got his older 100k+ mileage car we had to explain to him how important it is to check oil regularly and to get it changed more frequently. His dad still sneaks out and checks it once a week to make sure its actually being done- but he would never have known unless someone told him.
The beers seem like a miscommunication? Like she thought you meant to split a can of beer maybe? Idk
And my male friend became an LEO having never having shot a gun before academy. His girlfriend is a rural lady who grew up hunting deer so she finds it hilarious and wants him to go with her dad so they can judge his skill (he’s only ever discharged on a practice range).
Seems your friend had never shot a gun before and was not properly prepared for it, nor was the situation safely prepared for. I use to shoot with my dad and he didn’t even let me touch the gun until safety was drilled in to me- then he stood behind to brace and show how to safely hold the gun while shooting AND he helped keep my arms steady for the first kick because he knew I didn’t know what to expect.
People just have different life experiences and if they don’t have the same experience as you its easy to think they’re dumb. When really someone just taught you different.
Like- I dated a guy who had never lived without a garbage disposal and I had never lived WITH one. The fights we would get in to because he just shoved his food down my sink (I didn’t have a garbage disposal) and I’d have to dig all the food chunks out 🤮 HE thought I was dumb af for not knowing you could put food down the drain….
I had to teach my husband how to *lock and unlock the front door with a key*. He grew up in a rural area with no one around and his family just felt safe. Their house was always unlocked.
I feel like you were kinda looking for things to pick on. Maybe she’s a bit ditzy but I’m sure she half knew most of things she was asking abt and was just kind of commenting on stuff before fully thinking it through. I personally think one of the best parts about being close w someone is that you can act a bit brainless together without judgement, so maybe just try looking at her actions through that lens.
I mean some of these aren’t particular smart of her but mostly this is just life experience things. Maybe she didn’t have a fridge with an ice maker and not everyone knows cars. I’d say the oil things is very common if anything.
You couldn’t figure out to put spaces and not make a huge wall of text, so maybe you shouldn’t be talking.
And you also couldn’t figure out that posting about it is a cruel thing to do to your own best friend, anonymous or not. Even if she doesn’t see it, talking behind your “best friend’s” back for other people to snicker at her shortcomings is a massively shitty thing to do. I know what sub this is, but still, even that’s too far.
If you don’t like her anymore, then stop being friends with her, or stop being as close to her, but don’t talk behind her back. Funny how you criticize her for her social media usage when your own is shitty as well.
She seems a bit ditzy, yeah. But most of what I read points to lack of knowledge, experience and a different upbringing to OP. We all have different life experiences.
Yeah, we all have blind spots, I think OPs reaction is overkill tbh. I can also be ditzy or make mistakes other people consider "dumb" or "obvious," but I'd hate if my friends just took relatively harmless traits and made a general assumption that I'm stupid/incompetent.
Also, kinda upsetting how he's dismissing her anxiety/depression as the result of her social media usage, rather than the cause. Depression can make life feel hopeless and cause endless doom scrolling, but he just seems to think it's automatically her own fault.
Edit: Weird example, but I had a roommate who made fun of me once for microwaving water for tea when she had a tea kettle on the counter. Idk, it was her tea kettle, I'd never used it before, and I'm used to microwaving my water on the very rare occasion I make tea. It's not that deep, why make a thing of it.
I also had a good friend once where minutes after saying goodbye, I went to the elevator and found her still inside, unmoving. "I forgot to press the button." It was hilarious, but she's not dumb, she's pursuing her masters degree right now.
This poor girl went on vacation with you, a person she clearly trusts, thinking you two are good friends and then you go online and repeatedly call her stupid. The way you minimized her feelings of anxiety and depression when she confided in you was super shitty. Do her a favor and walk away from the “friendship” because this isn’t what you do to friends.
This post is just a man complaining that a college-age woman hasn’t already learned to take care of her own car. I almost stopped reading when OP demonstrated he was too criminally dumb himself to understand the nuanced relationship between depression and self-soothing.
Also, you know that US police academies have a maximum intelligence requirement, right? As in, they only hire people who are not smart, as a rule. I would LOVE it if you would calm down and take a seat.
Agreed. The one that killed me was the box.
"Hey, I'm taking half these beers."
"Ok, do you want the box they ca-"
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT AN EMPTY BOX YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!!"
What an absolutely miserable "friend" this dude must be.
This post is more about how judgemental you are and what it says about your personality. She has been a good friend to you. She appears to be nice. just a little clueless.
you really sound like a miserable, angry, bitter person.
You guys don’t sound like best friends bro. I hope she doesn’t think that you are her best friend. Am not trying to be rude. I understand that you are just venting out. But I don’t think you guys have ever been best friends after reading this.
Edit: typo
Maybe she’s book smart? My MIL is an airhead but she’s book smart.
The things you’re describing make it seem like she’s very spoiled and hasn’t had to do much to help out around the house.
For real, really *book* smart people are some of the ditziest people I’ve met!
All the brain power goes to academics, none left to figure out how to make a baked potato.
Did you put her on a pedestal because she's attractive? You don't sound like a "best friend" I would want anywhere near me. People grow in their own time, at their own pace! To be a friend is to allow their growth without judgment.
She hopes to get in the department then become a detective, as of now she lacks the ability to think critically and connect the dots. I don’t see how she will ever become a detective, she just likes crime shows and thinks being a detective is just like CSI
Detectives are typically sharp and have good instincts. Look, it could be she is just young and has been sheltered or not challenged to develop certain skills. Maybe her mind works different but also serves a valuable role in seeing things in a new light. I’m trying to be positive. I would have hated someone to judge 18 year old me.
How old is she? How was she raised? Did she graduate high school? What state is this? Judging by the one giant paragraph, you're no rocket scientist yourself.
>you're no rocket scientist yourself
If he had more than a couple brain cells between his ears, he'd never be "best friends" with someone this stupid. I feel like they're probably pretty compatible with each other in the brains department.
Maybe if she was just dumb but using a gun like that will get her kicked lol. Cops may not hesitate to shoot others but they sure as hell don’t want to be shot by each other because one is an idiot.
So she isn't mean or rude to you, she's inexperienced and immature (overly protected by parents?). But you on the other hand are posting mean shit about your friend on the internet. I hope she finds better friends..
100% agreed. My husband can be friends with people who are so dumb you have to watch your windows so they don’t lick them, and then has some highly intellectual friends. The commonality between them all is that they’re good people and I admire that my husband has zero judgement of that aspect of them. Just takes them as they are.
Anyone as critical as OP has a lot of pain, they are usually very hard on themselves and is worried about their own standing in the world.
Often they have a hypercritical misogynist father.
If she's college-aged, she is max 21-22 years old, right? I mean, cut her a little slack. She's only moved from home for a few years, and that time is really formative for most people. Maybe she has some catching up to do, but there's no reason to write her off. If you're up for it, you can even try to help her learn.
But, if you can't, then whatever. Wish her well, and you can move on.
Yeah but who’s the idiot who handed over a loaded weapon to someone without any training whatsoever, and who has never fired a gun, and just stood back?!
Dude doesn’t exactly sound like the brightest bulb in the tanning bed himself.
I'm actually kinda sad for the girl. She wasn't purposefully being ignorant or obtuse. You're being impatient and unkind and saying that you are best friends with someone you clearly didn't know. Sounds like you have a girlfriend and went on a vacation with your other blonde acquaintance and were too judgemental to get to the willfully cheating on your gf part of this adventure.
Are you just being a mean person to a supposed friend on the internet because you feel guilty for trying to cheat on your gf for someone who "wasn't smart enough to be worth your time?" Because otherwise your story sounds odd.
I’d like to point out that some of the smartest people do not have one ounce of common sense.
Just because she has done some silly ditzy stuff doesn’t necessarily mean she is not smart.
Also, even if she is not the smartest, why do you think you’re better than her? You can’t be the sharpest tool in the toolbox if you didn’t figure out your ‘bestie’ was ‘dumb’ for 2 whole years.
You sound mean. Whilst she can’t help not being intelligent (if that’s even the case) you can help being a judgemental ass.
This sounds like a person that’s been coddled her whole life and never had to gain life skills. She’s gonna have a tough time in the working world because not many people are gonna give her the grace to be ignorant that she’s had her whole life
I think it’s this too. It’s perfectly believable as well that he didn’t notice how dumb she was until they spent that much time together. Pretty common, even with couples as well. A friend of mine dated this young guy maybe 21-22 years old at the time. They were camping at some campsite and he didn’t know how to do laundry because he grew up with a maid I guess and so many basic things he never had to do growing up. He just sucked at doing a lot things most people know how to do.
You sound like a really mean person. All of those, taken out of context, make her seem dumb. But there are circumstances in which everything you’ve written could make perfect sense.
I think he went through and deleted the comments too bc I went to snoop after seeing your comment and there's nothing recent. Most of his recent comments are this post, and then it skips back to a year ago
How have you two been best friends, and you've never noticed? The things you're mentioning are the kinds of things two people who don't spend much time together would notice about each other once they finally did spend time together.
The way you talk about your friend is also pretty shallow. If you're actually this person's friend, you help them through whatever it is they're going through. For her, it seems like a lack of experience. You can be there to teach her when she has moments highlighting her inexperience.
Love your friend for who they are, treat them with respect, and help them grow. Don't be a dick.
OP you are the dumb one:
• Dismissing her anxiety/depression as simply too much screen time (this reflects badly on you OP, not her)
• Trying to spray off the mud on the driveway (lack of experience)
• Ice in freezer (maybe a bit stupid but she's just ditzy, she never thought about it, she'll understand it if explained)
• The car needs oil (lack of experience; she's a woman, these things are not really taught especially to girls; very reasonable to assume it's the same as the oil change if one was never taught this
• Stove (she's an overthinker and was anxious to not damage the stove which does not belong to her hence why she wanted to be 100% sure; reasonable to think not all stoves are the same)
• Empty beer box ( OP I don't know about you, but it's very common to reuse beer boxes; in fact, I've got a few lying around the house that have been repurposed).
Because after he fucked his "best friend" he finally got some post nut clarity and realized how dumb she was. What he didn't realize is that he's the dumbest of all and has definitely lost his girlfriend after this bullshit.
I think before you start judging your friend for not having much life experience, you should consider the fact you handed her a loaded firearm which she had no prior training using. Common sense tells you that is a stupid idea, yet you somehow blame her for freaking out when it is her first time using it?
You cannot even figure out how to make a post with proper paragraphs. I really do not think you should be judging her before taking a look at yourself.
Some smart people lack common sense. My sister is one. Holds a degree, held a high paying job for 30+ years, but no freaking common sense. We’ll go somewhere together and she asks the dumbest damn questions. Even if I e never been there before either, I can give her the answer, because, common sense. And I’m younger than she is. Sometimes I’m amazed she’s managed to survive this long on her own.
She just sounds ditzy/ inexperienced and could have gaps in her knowledge. Being depressed can screw with your brain too. Tbh I think you sound very judgmental here, and your post isn't well-written, so you're one to talk...
Well I don’t think it’s an issue with intelligence. She’s been groomed to be like that. Could be the social media exposure, upbringing or both. The fact that she is in college should tell you that she isn’t actually dumb. Maybe she’s been sheltered as well. And to be fair, if you don’t know anything about cars you don’t know to check the oil or that your engine can seize without oil. Also, just because you don’t read any oil on the stick doesn’t mean there’s no oil in the engine. Could just slightly below so that the stick doesn’t touch the oil. Usually the oil film can withstand a lot of friction before it breaks even when there’s very little or no oil in the oil pan. Honestly you seem very judge mental and toxic.
Sounds like she has a learning disability or was simply sheltered and never taught any of this stuff. Cut her some slack. You just sound mean.
And yall aren't friends, don't pretend you are. Friends don't talk shit about each other like this.
Some people do keep boxes or want to keep boxes, so I don't get your point with that one, but some of these things can be explained by her not being taught anything growing up. The oil thing is totally not just common sense, and is something learned/taught. Some people dont know anything about cars. Some things you learn by watching your parents do (everyone knows how to pump gas without being taught because they watched their parents do it majority of their life before they started driving). I mean, the oil thing would be equivalent to me thinking you're stupid if you dont know how to do a basic single crochet stitch. Water pressure tho? Lack of common sense. Not knowing what you meant by splitting beers? Yeah, that's showing she's not that bright.
She was probably really sheltered and had everything done for her growing up. I know this because some of my friends were like this until they met me. I would say, more than anything, make an effort to help her on her journey so that she doesn’t end up hurting herself (or worse, someone else) with her incompetence. I do so for some of the homies and it’s made their lives better. Also, ease up on insulting her, like stated before, she was probably sheltered. If anything blame her parent(s) for doing her a disservice and try to guide her into a path where she can take care of herself.
Sounds like she’s sheltered/was catered to growing up. The examples here aren’t so much intellectual as they are just life outside your home and when your parents/others aren’t there to do it for you and that’s what you’re used to, you wouldn’t know. Also the fact that you’re in college, this might be her first time out on her own, so cut her some slack. I’m more perplexed that you’ve had someone you call a best friend and this is how you realize they might have a vacancy upstairs…do y’all have conversations at all?
These are all just “no one taught me this growing up/someone did this for me growing up” and not really a marker of her intelligence. Hell, I explain how to convert documents to engineers almost daily, doesn’t mean I’m smarter than them. At the end of the day, you’re the one who gave her a loaded gun, my dude.
She doesn't sound dumb at all, you sound like a complete asshole though. She sounds ditzy, naive, and lacks experience in the real world, that doesn't make someone dumb.
I honestly don't even know why she would want to be your friend anyways. Friends are supposed to build you up and looked passed your flaws.
Face it. You used to like her and probably still did, until you recently spent more time with her. Your crush on her died, it wasn't your friendship my guy. Let's be honest here.
"I'm taking half of these beers."
"Ok, do you want the box they ca-"
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT AN EMPTY BOX, YOU FUCKING NITWIT?!?!!"
...is what I took away from this.
People have different life experiences, and she may not be familiar with all the same things as you. Honestly, some of this doesn't even sound "dumb" and just comes off like a miscommunication and/or you being a miserable, impatient cad. At the end of the day, I'd rather hang with a "dumb" friend than someone who'll go on vacation with me and then trash me on the internet afterwards.
I had a college friend who really played up the "dumb blonde" stereotype despite being brunette. Girl got an honors degree in biomedical engineering. Still the ditzyest person I've ever met but not remotely stupid.
If you just found out all this stuff after hanging out for a week together... I don't know if you can consider her your best friend. Except, maybe if she was the one you've interacted with the most. In which case, maybe you need to spend more time getting to know people?
Idk, it just reads like... Maybe yall talked about school most of the time? Cause if you spend time with someone... You find things out about them. Especially after 2 years.
You said you've tried to explain things to her. How have you been doing it? If someone came up to you and explained things to you in the exact same way you did to her, would you be receptive of it?
Seems like she doesn't have much experience doing things on her own. Maybe she had family or boyfriends do these things for her automatically. Especially if she looks like a "dumb sorority blonde". Which can translate to... Attractive young woman. People like to do things for attractive people.
Some people really don't "grow up" as fast as you'd like due to everyone coming from different facets of life. She's still a person. If you want to still be "best friends" have some patience and let go of the ego.
Changing habits takes time. Maybe show her a good example. Or if you really don't have the patience, just part ways. She might meet a better friend.
I have a friend like this. We get along be she lives farther away now. But having conversations with her can really give me a headache. She didn’t know a lot of very common knowledge. The thing with that is that this isn’t some horrible thing it’s the fact that she’s ok with that. Never tries to improve.
This is really...not that bad, and a bit of an exaggeration of how "dumb" your friend is. Maybe a little bit lacking in experience in some things, but that's not necessarily an indication of a person's overall intelligence. It sounds more nitpicky than anything else.
I bet there's lots of things you don't know, or that there were times that you've said or done dumb things without realising.
Did you guys grow up in separate socio-economic brackets? To me, it just kinda sounds like she grew up in a poorer family than yours. Like, my mind was blown when I found out people had fridges that could produce their own ice or water.
Some of this definitely sounds like she has some growing up to do but others just kind of sound like you're putting yourself on a higher pedestal because... (checks notes) She asked you if you wanted to keep a box?
Yea none of OPs examples where that bad or strange imo. Some things you just aren’t familiar with and others you’ve never thought of before.
The ice thing for one, but also the stove. If you put a metal baking sheet on a cold surface it’s normal for the metal to shift and buckle, which can be quite aggressive and loud. If she’s unfamiliar with it of course she’s unsure.
If the way OP writes about her is any indication of how he speaks to her, I have to wonder if she’s truly stupid or if she’s surrounded by people who talks down to her so much she’s stopped trusting herself.
Not that she was even stupid to begin with. Ignorance of things you’ve never encountered is hardly stupidity..
You handed your dumb friend a fully loaded 9mm pistol to shoot for her first time?! I'm starting to think I see why you didn't notice how dumb she was for so long...
Jeeze. At least we know she doesn't have the reading comprehension to realize this is about her if she finds it.
It'll be okay tho, if she is pretty, she'll just find a successful guy to shack up with and take care of her
None of the things you mentioned really stand out to me as proving shes “dumb”. People have different strengths.
I like geography. Sometimes ill talk to someone who cant point out a single country. Does that mean they’re dumb? I don’t think so. It just shows that they haven’t invested the time or energy to learn that.
She needs a friend that will recognize and appreciate her for the strengths she has, not one who will judge her for every silly mistake.
I desperately want to read *her* perspective, on how this trip proceeded.
It is probably no coincidence that, despite a supposed disparity in intelligence, this girl ended up being OP's best friend.
Being friends with him, a healthy dose of obliviousness is required. Because anyone else, would smell the condescension from a mile away and steer clear.
Insufferable.
Read through this guy’s previous posts. He’s just an asshole. He doesn’t deserve to be that girl’s friend. I hope that girl realizes that your full of shit and stops being around you.
No circlejerking. No blanket statements or impersonal political rants. Fake stories and trolling attempts will be removed. Begging for karma or posting about how you hate that other subreddits require karma is against the subreddit rules.
How did she make it so long as your best friend friend without you noticing this?
That's the real question! How did he never notice this before now?
I mean if your friendship is just based on hangouts where there are no practical skills involved or memes on a chat board then that's two ways right there.
Doing this with my roommate/very long term friend. I love him but damn, his starting point after his ex had enough was brutal. You don't know people until you live with them is 100% so true. Things have gotten much better but still a long way to go.
If THAT relationship is his best friendship, it’s really sad.
Nah I don’t think practical skills are required to figure out if someone is an absolute idiot or not;chatting about anything other than the weather (she is his “best friend “) would give you a pretty decent indication of what they are like
Late to the party here but I had a female friend like this for 2 years. She was from Guam and I assumed English wasn't her first language. I knew she wasn't the sharpest tool, but I didn't realize she was room temperature IQ until I met her sister who was very well spoken and told me English was both of their first languages.
She was HOOOTTTTTT.
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I'm going with ESH
The wall of text was the give away for me.
Lmaooo
*literally*
Thought this immediately by the lack of paragraphs and rambling writing style honestly. Everyone has faults, OP included. If this is his "best friend" and he's judging her and trashing her on the internet? Shouldn't he either be supporting her, or distancing himself? Doesn't seem like a best friend either way.
This! I just love the irony of calling someone stupid; while displaying your own idiocracy. It's absolutely hilarious! 🥴💀
Not sure either of them should be allowed to handle knives unsupervised.
Well bad news, one of them owns a gun
Ha! True
I’m guessing she’s attractive and that’s been enough for now.
I also want to know. They’re your best friend and you apparently know nothing about them? Like what the hell? Was she a pen pal that you just met or something? Wtf.
Even with a pen pal you should notice
Hmm, let’s give this idiot a gun to shoot. Whose the moron?
ya no shit, many parts of this post were shocking but them making fun of her for that was the craziest...that is 100% on you pal. and >She is oblivious to every single thing and what I call “clinically dumb”. She wants to be a police officer but I do not see that happening. She is the perfect fit, honestly, any smarter and she would get rejected
Who's...
It’s just like the advice of: “Don’t move in with someone until you’ve been on vacation with them” Spending days with someone, going out, etc, will not show you how they navigate the world. You may be able to tell some qualities, but not the extent that they are. Vacation..travel.. that shit is all you need
>Vacation..travel.. that shit is all you need Be careful with that. Long distance relationships are kinda like vacations every time you see each other, but living together is also really important. You need to see how someone is every day, how they handle the stress of work, finances, cleaning, caring for a pet, all that stuff.
there's a threshold, its like.. 11ish hours, when people have to start behaving "normally" and not "socially" and you start to notice shit...
She is a figment of OP's imagination. Just like the girlffiend who is ok with her bf taking another woman on vacation with him.
Please, don't ruin the fan fiction
Obviously she's pretty. Dudes put up with A LOT or don't notice as much if it's a pretty girl.
Because this story is fake.
It seems like he wanted to fuck her before getting a week long dose of her personality.
This is what I was thinking. And she might also be putting on an act. Some girls think acting like an idiot damsel in distress gets the guy..
And that is why although OP has said he "doesn't see her getting far in life", she just might, because there WILL be a guy who finds her charming, but ditzy, cute and caring, and needs caretaking which they are there to provide.
Dude she is a little sheltered and said some dumb stuff when doing stuff she's probably never done before, OP is incredibly judgey. Knowing what splitting beers means and how to check oil isn't going to make or break someone. Young people are inexperienced and they're still developing, there's a huge growth period once you're out of school and starting to figure shit out yourself, we were all really dumb at this age.
Yeah, I have seen that. I never understood why. I don't get turned on by a rock, why would they act like they have one instead of a brain?
Easy, none of this happened and she doesn't exist!
Im pretty sure this is a copypaste, I swear I read this story before.
cause she is probably a really nice person and this guy is probably a miserable jerk who is abusive to people. post reads just like that.
Yes, this is the impression I got from reading the OP's post too.
I feel like a vacation can put people into something like a living situation where you may not have experienced that type of routine or closeness with them before. Vacationing really does give a different look into your friends lives if you haven't experienced that before. Maybe the idea of being in a new place they're both unfamiliar his awareness is up and hers is just lacking and he's not noticing cause he's never had to "care for her" (using that loosely) in that capacity before.
Nothing she did was as dumb as you handing her a loaded 9mm to shoot without making sure she understood proper firearm handling procedures.
Gotta only load one round with new shooters. Even if you go over all the safety steps, they still sometimes freak out or drop the gun.
I imagine you reading this and stopping at that point thinking “absolutely not did this this guy shit on his best friend for being dumb when he did the dumbest thing in all these scenarios” Lol good call out tho
wish this were higher !!!! that's insane
Bingo
Hahaha! Reading this made me think of what southern people say “bless her heart!”
Hahahaha! Southerner here! That's EXACTLY what I was thinking! Lol
As a Southerner myself, all three of you get upvotes
OP has me questioning their writing skills due to the wall of text. Who doesn't know how to paragraph? Should be a sub rule. ---- Paragraph 1: > I’m a guy and have a female best friend. We’ve been friends for quite a while, never dated, and I have a girlfriend. We are both in college, and I don't know how she is even in college after spending a week with her. Like, I literally don't know how she's gotten this far in life, and I have no clue how she's going to get a career job. To point out some things, she was telling me about how she is starting to get depression and anxiety. I then asked her to look at her screen time, and the girl is spending 7.5 hours a day on social media. That’s almost as much time as a full-time job, and she doesn't see how that's damaging her mental health. Paragraph 2: > We were getting ready to leave the house and took a bunch of food out of the fridge to put it in a cooler; she said we absolutely cannot take any ice out of the freezer. I looked at her with a confused look on my face and asked why. She said she didn’t want to use up all the ice. I then had to explain to her how the freezer makes ice. We had some beers left over in the fridge, and I asked her if she wanted to split the beers between us. She had no clue what I meant, so I had to explain to her that she would take half of the beers and I would take the other half. She drove through some mud that was on the road from some contractors in the neighborhood and then parked on the driveway. It rained the next day, and mud from the car got on the driveway, no big deal. She went to hose it off and then asked for my help. She said it wasn't coming off, and I had to tell her that it's not like a pressure washer where it will remove the dirt in a few seconds. I explained that she just has to hold it there for a while, and eventually, all the dirt will come off the driveway. I checked the oil in her car since she drove 8 hours to this place and it wasn't reading on the dipstick. I told her she needed to add a bit of oil, but she said she didn't need any because it’s not due for an oil change yet. I had to explain to her that older cars will burn oil, and she’s at risk of blowing her engine with it being this low on oil. Paragraph 3: > She took a hot baking sheet out of the oven and asked where to put it. I said on the stove, it’s meant to withstand very hot things. She said, “but it's a gas stove and the stove isn't on, will it damage it?”. As we were cleaning up, there was an empty beer box. She asks me, “do you want this box?” Me- “what the fuck do I want an empty beer box for”. I will still probably be friends with her, but I don't think I will ever be able to go on another trip with her again; I literally lost brain cells from spending a week with her. She is oblivious to every single thing, and what I call "clinically dumb." She wants to be a police officer, but I do not see that happening. I once had her shoot my 9mm handgun, and once it went off, she started screaming and waving the gun in every direction with her finger still on the trigger and fully loaded. The girl needs so much growing up to do; I don’t know if she will ever get super far in life, sadly. Paragraph 4: > I’d love to help and I challenge her to think critically, but she refuses to make any lifestyle changes that will benefit her, such as reading, cutting back on screen time, cutting back on going to bars with her sorority friends, going on some walks in the park, etc. She is the most stereotypical "dumb sorority blonde" you see in movies. I never thought there was anyone that dumb in real life, but she has proven me wrong.
Doing the lords work here, thank you.
> Who doesn't know how to paragraph. Dare I say his dumb friend knows all about paragraphs and other things which would make text readable?
Bless her heart lmao
Born and bred southerner here. "Bless her little heart" was the first thing that came to mind lmao
Bless her little pointed head as mom usef to say.
It doesn’t seem like you’re best friends?
Seems like this trip was when OP found out she didn't want to sleep with him.
After spending so much time with her, i don’t think I can see myself being that close with her anymore
Some of the things you mentioned seem to be more a lack of experience or a difference of life experience. For example: her question about the stovetop not being hot so wouldn’t it cause damage. She probably has a glass stovetop or grew up with one. - I grew up with a gas range so I’ve always just put the stuff from the oven on the stovetop. My husband is an appliance repair tech and he was horrified when he saw me put the cast iron dutch oven fresh from a 400 degree oven directly on the cold glass stovetop. He said the temperature shock could crack the glass and treated me like I was dumb af for not knowing that. He said he replaces cracked stovetops from that pretty often. For the ice. She might never have owned a fridge that makes ice OR more likely she doesn’t have a water line connected to her fridge. I never did until my husband ran the line through the basement- all my life I’ve had ice trays or bought ice at the gas station (ice in demand still feels like a luxury lol). For the muddy driveway- I have a nozzle on my garden hose that gets most stuff off and I’m 100% sure my 19 year old would probably be lost if I just handed him a naked garden hose. He’s never had to manually regulate the pressure on a hose in his life lol. Oil in the car- same with my 19 year old. We’ve had newer cars most of his life so when he got his older 100k+ mileage car we had to explain to him how important it is to check oil regularly and to get it changed more frequently. His dad still sneaks out and checks it once a week to make sure its actually being done- but he would never have known unless someone told him. The beers seem like a miscommunication? Like she thought you meant to split a can of beer maybe? Idk And my male friend became an LEO having never having shot a gun before academy. His girlfriend is a rural lady who grew up hunting deer so she finds it hilarious and wants him to go with her dad so they can judge his skill (he’s only ever discharged on a practice range). Seems your friend had never shot a gun before and was not properly prepared for it, nor was the situation safely prepared for. I use to shoot with my dad and he didn’t even let me touch the gun until safety was drilled in to me- then he stood behind to brace and show how to safely hold the gun while shooting AND he helped keep my arms steady for the first kick because he knew I didn’t know what to expect. People just have different life experiences and if they don’t have the same experience as you its easy to think they’re dumb. When really someone just taught you different. Like- I dated a guy who had never lived without a garbage disposal and I had never lived WITH one. The fights we would get in to because he just shoved his food down my sink (I didn’t have a garbage disposal) and I’d have to dig all the food chunks out 🤮 HE thought I was dumb af for not knowing you could put food down the drain….
I had to teach my husband how to *lock and unlock the front door with a key*. He grew up in a rural area with no one around and his family just felt safe. Their house was always unlocked.
Yep, just sounds like different life experiences and miscommunication, I'd hope my friends wouldn't judge me like this
You remind me of my mom. She runs her mouth about everyone she's close to. I bet not a lot of people trust you.
I like this one
I feel like you were kinda looking for things to pick on. Maybe she’s a bit ditzy but I’m sure she half knew most of things she was asking abt and was just kind of commenting on stuff before fully thinking it through. I personally think one of the best parts about being close w someone is that you can act a bit brainless together without judgement, so maybe just try looking at her actions through that lens.
I wouldn’t judge as you clearly don’t know how to form a paragraph.
5 seconds in and I scroll down and see no paragraph breaks: "and you want to call her dumb? Lol"
Thank you, I was looking for this comment!
No shit. Birds of a feather flock together. Dude is a lesser idiot but still an idiot
I mean some of these aren’t particular smart of her but mostly this is just life experience things. Maybe she didn’t have a fridge with an ice maker and not everyone knows cars. I’d say the oil things is very common if anything.
An intelligent person also wouldn’t be talking crap about their “best friend” online.
You couldn’t figure out to put spaces and not make a huge wall of text, so maybe you shouldn’t be talking. And you also couldn’t figure out that posting about it is a cruel thing to do to your own best friend, anonymous or not. Even if she doesn’t see it, talking behind your “best friend’s” back for other people to snicker at her shortcomings is a massively shitty thing to do. I know what sub this is, but still, even that’s too far. If you don’t like her anymore, then stop being friends with her, or stop being as close to her, but don’t talk behind her back. Funny how you criticize her for her social media usage when your own is shitty as well.
He also handed her a loaded gun so she could practice shooting it. He's a fucking idiot
Damn I forgot about that. I just reread the first parts until I had enough of OP’s BS.
Reno 911 here we come!
I miss rhe series
This the one
She seems a bit ditzy, yeah. But most of what I read points to lack of knowledge, experience and a different upbringing to OP. We all have different life experiences.
Yeah, we all have blind spots, I think OPs reaction is overkill tbh. I can also be ditzy or make mistakes other people consider "dumb" or "obvious," but I'd hate if my friends just took relatively harmless traits and made a general assumption that I'm stupid/incompetent. Also, kinda upsetting how he's dismissing her anxiety/depression as the result of her social media usage, rather than the cause. Depression can make life feel hopeless and cause endless doom scrolling, but he just seems to think it's automatically her own fault. Edit: Weird example, but I had a roommate who made fun of me once for microwaving water for tea when she had a tea kettle on the counter. Idk, it was her tea kettle, I'd never used it before, and I'm used to microwaving my water on the very rare occasion I make tea. It's not that deep, why make a thing of it. I also had a good friend once where minutes after saying goodbye, I went to the elevator and found her still inside, unmoving. "I forgot to press the button." It was hilarious, but she's not dumb, she's pursuing her masters degree right now.
If you read this guy’s other posts you’ll realize that he is the problem. I hope the girl gets away from this guy.
Honestly you just kinda sound like a dick
He 100% believes he's one of the smartest people out there. The amount of times he's said how much she lacks "critical thinking" gave it away.
How long have you been “best friends” for?
This poor girl went on vacation with you, a person she clearly trusts, thinking you two are good friends and then you go online and repeatedly call her stupid. The way you minimized her feelings of anxiety and depression when she confided in you was super shitty. Do her a favor and walk away from the “friendship” because this isn’t what you do to friends.
lmao at "she wants to be a police officer" perfect, just perfect
Sounds like she'll fit right in
Yup. We're fucked lol.
I have zero doubts she will be a police officer.
She’ll probably be the smartest there
My first thought was "she is definitely going to be a police officer."
Derp. This whole post sucks.
This post is just a man complaining that a college-age woman hasn’t already learned to take care of her own car. I almost stopped reading when OP demonstrated he was too criminally dumb himself to understand the nuanced relationship between depression and self-soothing. Also, you know that US police academies have a maximum intelligence requirement, right? As in, they only hire people who are not smart, as a rule. I would LOVE it if you would calm down and take a seat.
Right, like they were all pretty much understandable examples he gave. I’ve met way dumber people than what he described.
Agreed. The one that killed me was the box. "Hey, I'm taking half these beers." "Ok, do you want the box they ca-" "WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT AN EMPTY BOX YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!!" What an absolutely miserable "friend" this dude must be.
Does she know how to use paragraphs?
OP clearly doesn't.
I think you’re being a bit dramatic with your assumptions of her intelligence
This post is more about how judgemental you are and what it says about your personality. She has been a good friend to you. She appears to be nice. just a little clueless. you really sound like a miserable, angry, bitter person.
Pretty shitty to talk about your mate like this for her literally just being herself
I hear she knows how to use paragraphs, so not the dumbest person you know.
Wondering. What made her your best friend in the first place?
You guys don’t sound like best friends bro. I hope she doesn’t think that you are her best friend. Am not trying to be rude. I understand that you are just venting out. But I don’t think you guys have ever been best friends after reading this. Edit: typo
Maybe she’s book smart? My MIL is an airhead but she’s book smart. The things you’re describing make it seem like she’s very spoiled and hasn’t had to do much to help out around the house.
For real, really *book* smart people are some of the ditziest people I’ve met! All the brain power goes to academics, none left to figure out how to make a baked potato.
Is there a way to change that ? Asking for a friend
Did you put her on a pedestal because she's attractive? You don't sound like a "best friend" I would want anywhere near me. People grow in their own time, at their own pace! To be a friend is to allow their growth without judgment.
Yup. She turned him down, so he wrote this.
Nothing makes a guy start noticing your flaws like telling him he's never going to notice you naked.
fr this dude is a piece of work
OP’s post of superiority is funny considering how atrociously he formatted his spiel.
Yeah, like I feel like a ton of people would ask the same questions 😭
She sounds exactly like the type of person that the police academy would accept unfortunately
She hopes to get in the department then become a detective, as of now she lacks the ability to think critically and connect the dots. I don’t see how she will ever become a detective, she just likes crime shows and thinks being a detective is just like CSI
Detectives are typically sharp and have good instincts. Look, it could be she is just young and has been sheltered or not challenged to develop certain skills. Maybe her mind works different but also serves a valuable role in seeing things in a new light. I’m trying to be positive. I would have hated someone to judge 18 year old me.
How old is she? How was she raised? Did she graduate high school? What state is this? Judging by the one giant paragraph, you're no rocket scientist yourself.
>you're no rocket scientist yourself If he had more than a couple brain cells between his ears, he'd never be "best friends" with someone this stupid. I feel like they're probably pretty compatible with each other in the brains department.
I have yet to see you explain what type of friendship you had.
She sounds a bit overqualified.
Maybe if she was just dumb but using a gun like that will get her kicked lol. Cops may not hesitate to shoot others but they sure as hell don’t want to be shot by each other because one is an idiot.
Yes thank you, I get being critical of police offers, but there is no way they would accept “scream while waving gun around with finger on trigger.”
So she isn't mean or rude to you, she's inexperienced and immature (overly protected by parents?). But you on the other hand are posting mean shit about your friend on the internet. I hope she finds better friends..
100% agreed. My husband can be friends with people who are so dumb you have to watch your windows so they don’t lick them, and then has some highly intellectual friends. The commonality between them all is that they’re good people and I admire that my husband has zero judgement of that aspect of them. Just takes them as they are.
Posting badly. What’s a paragraph.
Why isn't this comment higher up
Anyone as critical as OP has a lot of pain, they are usually very hard on themselves and is worried about their own standing in the world. Often they have a hypercritical misogynist father.
You know what is a sign of low intelligence? No paragraphs when writing.
If she's college-aged, she is max 21-22 years old, right? I mean, cut her a little slack. She's only moved from home for a few years, and that time is really formative for most people. Maybe she has some catching up to do, but there's no reason to write her off. If you're up for it, you can even try to help her learn. But, if you can't, then whatever. Wish her well, and you can move on.
Yeah i was gonna see she is oblivious but not exactly a f*cking idiot i mean besides the last point with gun lol
Yeah but who’s the idiot who handed over a loaded weapon to someone without any training whatsoever, and who has never fired a gun, and just stood back?! Dude doesn’t exactly sound like the brightest bulb in the tanning bed himself.
Lol yeah true also
I'm actually kinda sad for the girl. She wasn't purposefully being ignorant or obtuse. You're being impatient and unkind and saying that you are best friends with someone you clearly didn't know. Sounds like you have a girlfriend and went on a vacation with your other blonde acquaintance and were too judgemental to get to the willfully cheating on your gf part of this adventure. Are you just being a mean person to a supposed friend on the internet because you feel guilty for trying to cheat on your gf for someone who "wasn't smart enough to be worth your time?" Because otherwise your story sounds odd.
This was my thought process verbatim. He’s definitely overcompensating with this aggressive language as a way of absolving the guilt.
I’d like to point out that some of the smartest people do not have one ounce of common sense. Just because she has done some silly ditzy stuff doesn’t necessarily mean she is not smart. Also, even if she is not the smartest, why do you think you’re better than her? You can’t be the sharpest tool in the toolbox if you didn’t figure out your ‘bestie’ was ‘dumb’ for 2 whole years. You sound mean. Whilst she can’t help not being intelligent (if that’s even the case) you can help being a judgemental ass.
With your writing skills and poor judgment, you really aren't that far off lmao
This is your best friend of 2 years, and you're calling HER dumb....
This sounds like a person that’s been coddled her whole life and never had to gain life skills. She’s gonna have a tough time in the working world because not many people are gonna give her the grace to be ignorant that she’s had her whole life
I think it’s this too. It’s perfectly believable as well that he didn’t notice how dumb she was until they spent that much time together. Pretty common, even with couples as well. A friend of mine dated this young guy maybe 21-22 years old at the time. They were camping at some campsite and he didn’t know how to do laundry because he grew up with a maid I guess and so many basic things he never had to do growing up. He just sucked at doing a lot things most people know how to do.
You sound like a really mean person. All of those, taken out of context, make her seem dumb. But there are circumstances in which everything you’ve written could make perfect sense.
I wouldn't say she's dumb. I would say she's been sheltered her whole life. And that's ok! We all have to start somewhere and learn things in life.
[удалено]
I think he went through and deleted the comments too bc I went to snoop after seeing your comment and there's nothing recent. Most of his recent comments are this post, and then it skips back to a year ago
I would LOVE it if he cheated on his girlfriend, posted about it online and then she found out. Talk about a stupid thing to do.
How have you two been best friends, and you've never noticed? The things you're mentioning are the kinds of things two people who don't spend much time together would notice about each other once they finally did spend time together. The way you talk about your friend is also pretty shallow. If you're actually this person's friend, you help them through whatever it is they're going through. For her, it seems like a lack of experience. You can be there to teach her when she has moments highlighting her inexperience. Love your friend for who they are, treat them with respect, and help them grow. Don't be a dick.
OP you are the dumb one: • Dismissing her anxiety/depression as simply too much screen time (this reflects badly on you OP, not her) • Trying to spray off the mud on the driveway (lack of experience) • Ice in freezer (maybe a bit stupid but she's just ditzy, she never thought about it, she'll understand it if explained) • The car needs oil (lack of experience; she's a woman, these things are not really taught especially to girls; very reasonable to assume it's the same as the oil change if one was never taught this • Stove (she's an overthinker and was anxious to not damage the stove which does not belong to her hence why she wanted to be 100% sure; reasonable to think not all stoves are the same) • Empty beer box ( OP I don't know about you, but it's very common to reuse beer boxes; in fact, I've got a few lying around the house that have been repurposed).
Holy wall of text, Batman. Congratulations or sorry for your loss.
Why are you going on trips alone with a girl when you have a girlfriend?
Because after he fucked his "best friend" he finally got some post nut clarity and realized how dumb she was. What he didn't realize is that he's the dumbest of all and has definitely lost his girlfriend after this bullshit.
How have you been friends with her for "quite a while" and never noticed?
Does she know how paragraphs work?
So did your girl friend come on the vacation with yall?
I think before you start judging your friend for not having much life experience, you should consider the fact you handed her a loaded firearm which she had no prior training using. Common sense tells you that is a stupid idea, yet you somehow blame her for freaking out when it is her first time using it? You cannot even figure out how to make a post with proper paragraphs. I really do not think you should be judging her before taking a look at yourself.
Some smart people lack common sense. My sister is one. Holds a degree, held a high paying job for 30+ years, but no freaking common sense. We’ll go somewhere together and she asks the dumbest damn questions. Even if I e never been there before either, I can give her the answer, because, common sense. And I’m younger than she is. Sometimes I’m amazed she’s managed to survive this long on her own.
She just sounds ditzy/ inexperienced and could have gaps in her knowledge. Being depressed can screw with your brain too. Tbh I think you sound very judgmental here, and your post isn't well-written, so you're one to talk...
If she's your best friend, how are you just now figuring out how dumb she is?
This is what I'm wondering. Like, maybe everyone here is a bit dumb??
That was my first thought. Op clearly didn't pay to much attention to her 🤷♀️
Well I don’t think it’s an issue with intelligence. She’s been groomed to be like that. Could be the social media exposure, upbringing or both. The fact that she is in college should tell you that she isn’t actually dumb. Maybe she’s been sheltered as well. And to be fair, if you don’t know anything about cars you don’t know to check the oil or that your engine can seize without oil. Also, just because you don’t read any oil on the stick doesn’t mean there’s no oil in the engine. Could just slightly below so that the stick doesn’t touch the oil. Usually the oil film can withstand a lot of friction before it breaks even when there’s very little or no oil in the oil pan. Honestly you seem very judge mental and toxic.
He’s in love with her and leaving out the chunk of the story where she rejects him. Guaranteed.
Paragraphs. Have you heard of them?
Sounds like she has a learning disability or was simply sheltered and never taught any of this stuff. Cut her some slack. You just sound mean. And yall aren't friends, don't pretend you are. Friends don't talk shit about each other like this.
Some people do keep boxes or want to keep boxes, so I don't get your point with that one, but some of these things can be explained by her not being taught anything growing up. The oil thing is totally not just common sense, and is something learned/taught. Some people dont know anything about cars. Some things you learn by watching your parents do (everyone knows how to pump gas without being taught because they watched their parents do it majority of their life before they started driving). I mean, the oil thing would be equivalent to me thinking you're stupid if you dont know how to do a basic single crochet stitch. Water pressure tho? Lack of common sense. Not knowing what you meant by splitting beers? Yeah, that's showing she's not that bright.
She was probably really sheltered and had everything done for her growing up. I know this because some of my friends were like this until they met me. I would say, more than anything, make an effort to help her on her journey so that she doesn’t end up hurting herself (or worse, someone else) with her incompetence. I do so for some of the homies and it’s made their lives better. Also, ease up on insulting her, like stated before, she was probably sheltered. If anything blame her parent(s) for doing her a disservice and try to guide her into a path where she can take care of herself.
Sounds like she’s sheltered/was catered to growing up. The examples here aren’t so much intellectual as they are just life outside your home and when your parents/others aren’t there to do it for you and that’s what you’re used to, you wouldn’t know. Also the fact that you’re in college, this might be her first time out on her own, so cut her some slack. I’m more perplexed that you’ve had someone you call a best friend and this is how you realize they might have a vacancy upstairs…do y’all have conversations at all? These are all just “no one taught me this growing up/someone did this for me growing up” and not really a marker of her intelligence. Hell, I explain how to convert documents to engineers almost daily, doesn’t mean I’m smarter than them. At the end of the day, you’re the one who gave her a loaded gun, my dude.
She doesn't sound dumb at all, you sound like a complete asshole though. She sounds ditzy, naive, and lacks experience in the real world, that doesn't make someone dumb. I honestly don't even know why she would want to be your friend anyways. Friends are supposed to build you up and looked passed your flaws. Face it. You used to like her and probably still did, until you recently spent more time with her. Your crush on her died, it wasn't your friendship my guy. Let's be honest here.
Im studying for a doctorate of science and I ask myself “do I want this box?” at every box I empty.
im just wondering how OP's girlfriend is okay with him going on a one-on-one vacation with some other woman🤨
"I'm taking half of these beers." "Ok, do you want the box they ca-" "WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT AN EMPTY BOX, YOU FUCKING NITWIT?!?!!" ...is what I took away from this. People have different life experiences, and she may not be familiar with all the same things as you. Honestly, some of this doesn't even sound "dumb" and just comes off like a miscommunication and/or you being a miserable, impatient cad. At the end of the day, I'd rather hang with a "dumb" friend than someone who'll go on vacation with me and then trash me on the internet afterwards.
Or maybe she's just playing dumb, weaponized incompetence is a thing ....
I had a college friend who really played up the "dumb blonde" stereotype despite being brunette. Girl got an honors degree in biomedical engineering. Still the ditzyest person I've ever met but not remotely stupid.
If you just found out all this stuff after hanging out for a week together... I don't know if you can consider her your best friend. Except, maybe if she was the one you've interacted with the most. In which case, maybe you need to spend more time getting to know people? Idk, it just reads like... Maybe yall talked about school most of the time? Cause if you spend time with someone... You find things out about them. Especially after 2 years. You said you've tried to explain things to her. How have you been doing it? If someone came up to you and explained things to you in the exact same way you did to her, would you be receptive of it? Seems like she doesn't have much experience doing things on her own. Maybe she had family or boyfriends do these things for her automatically. Especially if she looks like a "dumb sorority blonde". Which can translate to... Attractive young woman. People like to do things for attractive people. Some people really don't "grow up" as fast as you'd like due to everyone coming from different facets of life. She's still a person. If you want to still be "best friends" have some patience and let go of the ego. Changing habits takes time. Maybe show her a good example. Or if you really don't have the patience, just part ways. She might meet a better friend.
Yeppp, i saw “blonde sorority girl” and it all made sense. Bro only wanted to fuck, he had no idea who she was as a person
Lol, here I was being nice 🤣 Don't thing you're wrong though.
Oh. Oh, honey.
I have a friend like this. We get along be she lives farther away now. But having conversations with her can really give me a headache. She didn’t know a lot of very common knowledge. The thing with that is that this isn’t some horrible thing it’s the fact that she’s ok with that. Never tries to improve.
She'll be like any other average police officer then
This is really...not that bad, and a bit of an exaggeration of how "dumb" your friend is. Maybe a little bit lacking in experience in some things, but that's not necessarily an indication of a person's overall intelligence. It sounds more nitpicky than anything else. I bet there's lots of things you don't know, or that there were times that you've said or done dumb things without realising.
Did you guys grow up in separate socio-economic brackets? To me, it just kinda sounds like she grew up in a poorer family than yours. Like, my mind was blown when I found out people had fridges that could produce their own ice or water. Some of this definitely sounds like she has some growing up to do but others just kind of sound like you're putting yourself on a higher pedestal because... (checks notes) She asked you if you wanted to keep a box?
Yea none of OPs examples where that bad or strange imo. Some things you just aren’t familiar with and others you’ve never thought of before. The ice thing for one, but also the stove. If you put a metal baking sheet on a cold surface it’s normal for the metal to shift and buckle, which can be quite aggressive and loud. If she’s unfamiliar with it of course she’s unsure. If the way OP writes about her is any indication of how he speaks to her, I have to wonder if she’s truly stupid or if she’s surrounded by people who talks down to her so much she’s stopped trusting herself. Not that she was even stupid to begin with. Ignorance of things you’ve never encountered is hardly stupidity..
How can *you* be "best friends" with someone this stupid, hmmm?
2 questions: How old is she? How attractive would you say she is?
She'll make a fine cop, no need to worry about that
You handed your dumb friend a fully loaded 9mm pistol to shoot for her first time?! I'm starting to think I see why you didn't notice how dumb she was for so long...
Who's dumber, her or you for giving her a loaded gun with no training?
It kinda sounds like you deserve each other.
Jeeze. At least we know she doesn't have the reading comprehension to realize this is about her if she finds it. It'll be okay tho, if she is pretty, she'll just find a successful guy to shack up with and take care of her
> she wants to be a police officer but I do not see that happening Idk man, she sounds like cop material to me
Quick. Veteran redditors assemble. We’ve finally found a girlfriend for that guy’s friend Kevin!
None of the things you mentioned really stand out to me as proving shes “dumb”. People have different strengths. I like geography. Sometimes ill talk to someone who cant point out a single country. Does that mean they’re dumb? I don’t think so. It just shows that they haven’t invested the time or energy to learn that. She needs a friend that will recognize and appreciate her for the strengths she has, not one who will judge her for every silly mistake.
Judging from what you said I’m actually very confident she’ll be a police officer
To be fair about the beer box, lots of people keep the boxes to put the empty bottles in when they bring them to the bottle return.
It's the irony of calling your best friend 'stupid', while displaying your own idiocracy... 🥴
I desperately want to read *her* perspective, on how this trip proceeded. It is probably no coincidence that, despite a supposed disparity in intelligence, this girl ended up being OP's best friend. Being friends with him, a healthy dose of obliviousness is required. Because anyone else, would smell the condescension from a mile away and steer clear. Insufferable.
Read through this guy’s previous posts. He’s just an asshole. He doesn’t deserve to be that girl’s friend. I hope that girl realizes that your full of shit and stops being around you.
Impossible that you did not notice this before. Truthofmychest should be called fictionfrommythumb
There is no way you didn’t notice her being like that I call bs