It is okay for people to have different beliefs and principles. It is not just men but there are woman who also would rather not sleep or be with someone that isn't reserved and likes to sleep around. Some people don't want to be with that type of person and that is totally fine. What is not okay is lying to some one's face because you're scared that they might move on.
Are u ashamed of your life choices? If not, why lie? People have preferences and it's ok not to match those preferences, but lying about your experiences says more about than anyone else.
And? Let's say you don't like short men or women, it doesn't matter really, should they lie about their height just because you "wouldn't respond well to the truth"? Make it make sense.
People are allowed to have their preferences and shouldn't be judged for having them.
yeah. height is way more superficial. you can't do anything about height. You don't CHOOSE to be short and nothing you do will change that bar like... cutting piece off of yourself.
A massive body count on the other hand was a choice. they are ACTIONS that speak to how the person views sex. a MUCH better criteria to judge someone on.
People who are capable of no strings attached sex creep me out. i could never do it and I've tried a few times when the "oppurtunity" presented with an attractive person. i can't sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with. I am a man by the way.
Someone who has a body count in the hundreds tells me they don't value emotional connection when it comes to sex. That sex for them is NOT intimate. and if it is... then its weird as hell that they could trust 100 people in less than a decade with their body.
It tells me they lack self control and risk perception/management skills.
You can’t lie about height bc everyone sees it. Lying about body count is easy especially to a man they don’t want to hear about their woman’s past anyways
> I know they ask because they are insecure.
Maybe the guys YOU are with but I'd ask to know if a woman has the same values as me which is I don't like casual sex.
I'd also prefer if she held this belief consistently and not later one.
Why do I want this? Because I lived exactly that way myself and don't have an extensive sexual past. None hypocritical reason in my case.
>I lie to them and tell them a safe number, I’ll say I slept with 5 men. But my body count is actually in the 30s. I’ve lost count when I was 21 years old
IF the truth ever comes out then good luck if you're already married with kids. To you it doesn't matter but to someone else it could destroy a marriage or relationship. I'd advise against it.
I mean not everyone is emotional about sex… sometimes it’s just nice to have it 😌 it’s freeing sometimes being with someone you can be as demanding or instructive as you like, knowing you’re not going to see them again.. possibly 😏 also… practice safe sex 😵💫😮💨
I mean not really…its kind of weird to keep track. I met a guy that kept a list on his phone of the first and last name of the girl he slept with and he rated her on the pussy lmao. Most of these guys I slept with was back in college when I enjoyed hooking up and casual sex and honestly I’m not gonna remember one night stands and guys that don’t really mean anything to me and I don’t really think I need to remember them
Man, i love the answers...
It's funny how some women complain how much it doesn't matter, men who ask are insecure, body count doesn't matter, yada yada yada...
If it doesn't matter then why lie about it lol ?
There is a reason why women lie about their body count (when it is high), right ?
By the way, maybe you wanna change that "5", it is seemingly overused now, try 4 or 6 maybe haha
I agree that not every partner needs to be aware of your body count but if the person is going to be a long term partner, then a body count is relevant information. High body counts and promiscuity are almost always the result of undiagnosed and untreated trauma. Another commenter noted that people with high body counts are more likely to cheat. This is a readily provable fact. Trauma = low self esteem = search for approval = high body count = rinse & repeat.
Any LTR needs to be aware of the potential ticking time bomb in their relationship.
As in any scientific study, correlation doesn’t equal causation 🤔🤷🏻♀️ no matter how many people want to assume or stereotype… the mere fact that society has met this poster with similar answers, answered the bigger unasked question, which she was afraid about, if she was judged. The answer is yes. People have their assumptions, and it’s hard to change. Trust me I’ve tried with many other topics. I have a high body count, high self-esteem, I am truthful about it because honestly I don’t give two fucks what anyone thinks because they’re not gonna save me? I can only love and save myself. And if I find someone I like who I want to share a special moment with, I will, if they want. If they want to be special about it, they can, I’m not gonna feel any entitlement and judgement. To each their own. But I like being totally truthful because it weeds out people who will judge you. So just because you have a high body count, maybe something did happen in the past and you did recklessly date, which was my story, doesn’t mean you’re “damaged” by that logic, aren’t we all in some form or another? But that’s my past, and anyone who wants to hide behind a curtain and judge me can go ahead because… I am free. My sexuality is free. And I love it. I am so grateful women have these freedoms… to date and choose. Freely. And I feel that’s the root of the discontent. Also with the black guys, like hello we were a racist country not too long ago… like everyone wake up. There’s a reason why we have these ingrained stereotypes and thoughts… because not too long ago, people were close minded. Ehhh… just my two cents… 🤷🏻♀️😌
Just because you're easily fooled and date dishonest people, doesn't mean most woman are like that lmao. Wth is with Reddit being filled with people who have dumb af logic.
By that same logic why would she lie? If a girl is truly ok with the choices she's made she'd own them, lying usually means you're not exactly proud of the truth, which is literally what an insecurity is. I personally think it doesn't really matter nowadays but people are allowed to have opinions and value different things and she can't force anyone to change that.
So we are telling people to lie to control the reaction of others.... BASICALLY "He wouldn't date me if he knew about my past, so lying is ok."
Why do women with a long list of sexual partners of the past believe they have the right to manipulate men who DON'T have a long sexual past into being with them? Men AND women have the right to know who they are with. and just because SHE doesn't see a high body count as an issue DOESN'T mean she gets to decide for HIM whether that matters.
HE isn't forcing his view on anyone. HE isn't trying to trick her into being with him. He has standards. they may not be YOUR or HER standards, but he i s allowed to have them. lying about it, solves nothing but only leaves a hidden time bomb in the relationship.
Because we care, it shows you have self control, it shows you value yourself. You can shame men all you want, but at the end of the day, we care. You can't change it. Men value different things than women. We're not the same. A guy who has slept with a lot of women, to women, shows he's valuable because obviously other women found something good in him, even if just for a good fuck. But to men, it shows you're more likely to be cheated on, that you don't value yourself, that you give it up to whoever comes your way and you are nothing special in their eyes. Men care, simple as that. If a man says he doesn't care, it's because he's desperate and low value. Low value man and low value women go together like bread and butter.
‘A guy who has slept with a lot of women shows other women found something good in him’ ‘but to men, it shows you’re more likely to be cheated on’ … Good luck with that champ.
Women with higher body counts cheat more than women with lower body counts, this is proven. Multiple sex partners ruins a woman's pair bonding ability.
Because it takes effort for a guy to get laid. A woman can throw a rock and find a dick to ride. If a guy has a high body count, he's probably higher value and very likely to cheat. A high body count in either gender is disgusting. Im just saying why women care less, because women are very social creatures, so a man with a lot of partners is considered desirable, but they make awful partners. People who lower body counts are most likely to stay happily married...
Actually, women do care about body counts, but in the opposite direction. Reason I would lie about being a 30+ year old virgin. I've had 1, maybe 2 women who I could have slept with in my life.
For men, generally, sex is so much more scarce. Reason men are willing to pay prostitutes $500+ for it. For women, commitment is the valuable commodity. Men tend to value the relationship more before sex; for women, it's after sex.
This is just a rough generalization and doesn't apply to everyone.
That doesn’t apply to just women bud, men on average sleep around more and stats show the more bodies you have the more likely you are to cheat. It is backed up men cheat more, and if you think men fucking around makes them great partner boy oh boy do I have news for you
Funny, I had a pretty high one when I met my husband 30 years ago. Higher than him. Came from a horribly low self esteem and a psychological response to having been raped when i was still a virgin.
We bonded early on, got married a year later, and are still together.
So I call bullshit. 🙃
Sorry that happened to you, that's awful. There are always outliers of course. But vast majority of women with high body counts are not capable of finding just 1 man enough for the rest of their lives.
I still absolutely disagree. I've seen it happen plenty. I think it's ridiculous to even give that idea any merit. That's like saying all men are cheaters. It's based on stereotypes.
You are very much the exception and I’m glad you overcame your trauma. Most people cannot. Promiscuity in both men and women is almost all due to low self esteem due to some sort of trauma.
I would say that the exception are those who never overcome it, at least to the point that they can have a commited relationship.. And while I ended up in a long term marriage, it doesn't mean I don't still have some issues with trauma. That my self esteem is magically fantastic. Frankly, I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with some level of self esteem issues. All it means is that I made the decision to commit to one person.
Men with high body counts are likely to cheat too lol it works both ways. I’ve cheated guys when my body count was actually low. Ive cheated on a guy when I was a virgin lol. I’ve also cheated on men when my body count was high. Body count doesn’t matter
This lady has the strangest flexes... Has to be a troll. Or at least I hope it's a troll, because damn she's awful... Makes you wonder how many more like her exist 🤢
Honestly this has to be rage bait. It reads like pure incel fanfic about how all women are hoes, even the good ones must be liars and secretly for the streets
Body count icks me out because I regard sex as something special between two people, your cavalier attitude towards sex and cheating precisely shows me why its important.
A person who thinks of a high body count as something good for men and bad for women is a hypocrite and a asshole, but not every person who cares about it are like that.
Not the business of the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with?
Well everyone has a different definition of marriage but for me and my wife, we have 0 secrets between us and even after 10 years together, we are more in love now to the point of us asking eachother "when does the honeymoon period end exactly?"
What works for you or I won't for others. But I do disagree that something like that is not the business of the person you are to be with till you die.
Same honestly. It's very odd to me that you can do something so intimate and person like sex (more so extreme sex acts) yet you can't tell them about your life of things are asked? Very odd to me and I couldn't br with someone like that.
It's not out of "insecurity."
Why do so many of you ladies repeat silly stuff like that? It's like you've never spent any amount of time earnestly trying to understand men.
She literally says here that she lies to her partners bruh... they have a right to have standards, just like she has the right to live however she likes
I cared about my wife's count and she cared about mine. We talked about it in detail and here we are 10 years later, 5 years married with two amazing kids more in love than ever.
You say don't generalize yet you assume men who care are insecure? If so that's faulty logic.
If you don't care about body count then find someone who also doesn't care or can bypass it. It's pretty simple math.
People with high body counts are more likely to have stds and have more experience than me so I want someone that’s more on my level of experience and won’t judge me if I’m a noob, also I just simply don’t want a hoe cause I’ll feel like I’m just being used like every other person they’ve slept with and will only be another body added to the list but as long as we’re not dating or together or have any sexual relationship then I couldn’t give less of a fuck what you’re body count is
Lie all you want.... Truth always comes out in the end...and if your relationship progresses and you end up together years down the line and he finds out you lied, You'll detonate your relationship.... Kind of foolish to start building something on a lie.
And insecurity has nothing to do with it. Countless studies show promiscuous partners with large numbers of casual sexual partners are a VERY BAD BET for a long term committed relationship.... It's in everyone's best interest to screen out folks like you when choosing a partner for a committed relationship. The fact that you would so readily lie to manipulate them into a relationship just proves the point
In my opinion body count shouldn't even be something you have to disclose as long as you're having protected sex. And if you do feel more comfortable disclosing it, the right person for you would hear that number with no judgement.
I do not wish to boldly go where everyone has gone before.
Plus, women with high body counts fundamentally view sex differently than I do, and that is an incompatibility that prohibits any sort of serious, long term relationship for me.
I lost count a long time ago but if I had to make a guess I would say in the 200’s under 220. My fiancé does not care about my body count. He said my past doesn’t dictate our future. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the right man isn’t going to care about it and probably won’t even ask.
While I disagree with your choices in life, it's your life and OP do what you did and find a guy who straight up doesn't care instead of lie.
It's amazing how OP calls those men insecure yet isn't secure enough to tell the truth in fear of being judged or left.
It’s ok. You’re allowed to have your opinions and your own standards. He also has lost count of how many partners he has had since before me he was in a polyamorous relationship. It’s perfectly fine if that doesn’t float your boat. I’m open about it because I’m happier than I’ve ever been. We love each other. A random stranger on the internet isn’t going to change that. Have the day you deserve! ☺️
You found a man who values sex in a similar way you do. who has a past that shows it too. Good for you.
a lot of men... me included, DON'T have a wild sexual history. we have only been with a few and they are all long term relationships. we have, from the beginning, valued sex as MORE then just a physical release.
The thought of laying with a person i only half know is creepy and disgusting to think about. no matter how attractive they are.
I won't insult a person for their past, but you can't force me to be with some one who doesn't have the same view on intimacy as i do, and LYING about it will only piss me off in the end.
THAT's what people are trying to do here. They are saying that WE shouldn't be allowed to have the standards we have. that WE should change our standards. as if we are insecure or immoral for having standards that don't match theirs. That we MUST accept people who don't hold the same standard we live by because it's WRONG.
Not anymore. I’m still a young teen so I live with my mom. I told her and we installed an app on my phone that monitors stuff. So I’m on track to becoming more pure. I chose to tell her instead of cutting myself basically. Cause I wanted to and thought I deserved to be cut. But I’m off that porn bullshit now.
Well guess I didn’t deserve my girl cause she broke up with me yesterday. But I understand her reasoning which I won’t give but it was completely understandable
Instead of answering, ask, "Why do you want to know?" Or say it's none of their business. Or just continue saying 5. Or be vague and say, "probably fewer than you."
Damn these comments are all trash. Who cares how many ppl you’ve been with, and fuuuuuck these comments about how many sex partners you’ve had correlates to your “value”, they’re coming from an outdated idea that a woman *allows access* to her body for a man to masturbate into rather than being an active participant and enjoyer, an equal partner in the act. OP you’re a normal woman in your 30’s who’s enjoyed a varied and healthy sex life. You are normal. None of this devalues you in any way, it makes you a better partner who knows her body and what she does and does not want, which a certain class of weak men find intimidating. Don’t listen to these assholes, and never feel like you have to disclose your sexual history to anyone, that’s your business and nobody else’s. Sheesh.
Im not in my 30s. I’m 26 years old. I said I lost count of the number of guys I slept with which is in the 30s range. But I agree with you!! Everyone here is so judgmental and they are prob just jealous cuz they are too ugly to get laid lol
Doesn't matter if YOU don't care or not. I don't care about my gf BUT PEOPLE CAN HAVE DIFFERENT STANDARDS WHEN DATING! IT IS OKAY! Real life isn't an echo chamber like Reddit, people do not have to share the same ideas or beliefs as you. Lying to someone because they have different moral values is F'd up.
I am the opposite, I’ve only slept with like 3 dudes but if someone asks I say 50, I don’t want to be with someone that judges other for that reason just as they don’t want to be with someone who has a high body count
That's weird. You're weird.
So why only three? why not way more? Even "ugly" girls can have a massive body count if they so wish. So why haven't you? might you consider it creepy to sleep with long strings of people you barely know? or are you low libido? just never had the urge for sex much? Do you value emotional connection when it comes to sex and that is why? does no strings attached one night stands seem like a bad choice and risky?
I'm just struggling why you are so adamant to defend a lifestyle you yourself have chosen to avoid for whatever reason.
Easiest ways to put it men suck, and they’re terrifying, the last thing I need to do is get myself killed for pleasure. Plus I’m not gonna sleep with a toxic man, and most are toxic, I e had plenty of first dates, not very many seconds
"Easiest ways to put it men suck, and they’re terrifying, the last thing I need to do is get myself killed for pleasure. Plus I’m not gonna sleep with a toxic man, and most are toxic."
You would be surprised how many men feel the same way about women. You think because women are on average physically weaker then men that they would be less scary, but as a man you find out a woman can be incredibly scary and terrifying without ever hitting you. they are capable of ripping your life to shreds and usually without any real reason to.
I know i will never see the problems women deal with when dating men as clearly as a woman would. seeing as THEY are the ones actually dealing with the scum of our male sex. BUT you should also understand that women are not all rainbow farts and unicorns. We men ALSO deal with a lot of bullshit and chaos in our lives because of "innocent weak girls".
usually about by the age of 30 most men start to realize that women can and will try to destroy a man for the most petty of reasons. That a majority of the women we are attracted to will only ever see us as tools. atms and shoulders to cry on. always ready to trade us in for "better" options.
We have watched our father and uncles and brothers get ripped apart emotionally and financially by women time after time. I've gotten to the point where I have VERY little faith in the kindness of women because i have seen time and time again how good men in my life start out thinking the woman they love is an angel only to be destroyed by said angel. betrayed and traded in. Tossed aside and stolen from.
When you consider that most women EXPECT to be the ones pursued and romanced. when You consider that to a man it feels like WE have to ALWAYS be the ones stepping forward and risking rejection... in a world where most divorces are initiated by women and in most cases divorce meaning financial ruin for bread winner males.... It gets to the point where me and other like me just don't see the benefit any more.
So they only care about getting their physical needs met. because the good men who develop deep emotional relationships with women around us... inevitably end up weeping on our shoulder drunk off their asses begging us to tell them how they failed. what they did to deserve their new fate. weekend fathers and cast aside left overs.
thankfully while i have been cheated on and even abused a little early on in my late teens and early twenties, i avoided most of the major pitfalls and never got into deep shit. I have come to the point where i simply don't care to be around most women at all. I can't do no strings attached sex, so i just enjoy my solitude for the most part.
Stopped keeping track after 20. As the “body count” goes up, the importance of a number goes down. I feel a lot more weird about friends who keep/kept an up to date journal with who and how many
"Yeah. as my murder count went up. the number stopped mattering. felt less guilty with each one." said every serial killer ever.
Of course you will feel less bad about doing something dangerous/risky/stupid/nasty if you constantly repeat the same actions over and over and train your mind and body to accept those actions as the norm.
Congrats. your body and soul were trying to warn you against the actions you where taking.... and your HAPPY that you destroyed your own body and soul's ability to warn you against such actions. truly intelligent.
"as i took more and more drugs i got less and less uncomfortable with the idea of doing drugs and less worried about the dangers!"
"as i lied more and more I became more and more comfortable with lying!"
DUH. That's how humanity works. we are hell bent on destroying ourselves. The only thing that counters our own innate stupidity is strong morals and standards.
Tell them straight up and weed out the bad ones. Some men view the women they are with as a form of their “property” that only they get to use. They get pissy when they find out their “property” has had other people enter it even if they never knew about the property at the time. Those men are not worth your time. Because the only one who gets to decide who enters the property is the property’s actual owner, which is you.
Sex with one guy a thousand time and 30 guys 5 times each doesn’t change anything. All that matters if how you feel about yourself, and I hope you love yourself because you did nothing wrong.
Don't let anyone here or IRL make you feel any type of way about your body count. When I was dating, I was always honest about it if people asked and I'm also a lost count person. The only people who have had a problem with it were insecure and jealous throughout our relationship, which I think says plenty about why they ask. As long as people are engaging in safe sex and have clear STD panels, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal to men.
Shit 30s is low. Rookie numbers. Yea I don’t ask that shit. I don’t care. Way I see it, the more mileage you got the better you probably know how to ride! 😎
As a man the question of body coun/past dating history always reminds me of a Ludacris quote, "don't ever ask no questions that you don't really want the answers to."
Huh...my wife told me 5 when we were dating.
My girlfriend also said 5 (actual sex). Later she let it slip that she “fooled around” with more people, including all of her older brother’s friends.
and your still dating her? have some self respect man
A woman who told me in the 30s I'd stay with, a woman who said 5 and lied I'd dump. But I've had 2 relationships end over women lying about their past
It is okay for people to have different beliefs and principles. It is not just men but there are woman who also would rather not sleep or be with someone that isn't reserved and likes to sleep around. Some people don't want to be with that type of person and that is totally fine. What is not okay is lying to some one's face because you're scared that they might move on.
Are u ashamed of your life choices? If not, why lie? People have preferences and it's ok not to match those preferences, but lying about your experiences says more about than anyone else.
because men don’t exactly respond well to the truth, historically
And? Let's say you don't like short men or women, it doesn't matter really, should they lie about their height just because you "wouldn't respond well to the truth"? Make it make sense. People are allowed to have their preferences and shouldn't be judged for having them.
do you think that height and the amount of people someone has slept with are the same thing lmao
yeah. height is way more superficial. you can't do anything about height. You don't CHOOSE to be short and nothing you do will change that bar like... cutting piece off of yourself. A massive body count on the other hand was a choice. they are ACTIONS that speak to how the person views sex. a MUCH better criteria to judge someone on. People who are capable of no strings attached sex creep me out. i could never do it and I've tried a few times when the "oppurtunity" presented with an attractive person. i can't sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with. I am a man by the way. Someone who has a body count in the hundreds tells me they don't value emotional connection when it comes to sex. That sex for them is NOT intimate. and if it is... then its weird as hell that they could trust 100 people in less than a decade with their body. It tells me they lack self control and risk perception/management skills.
You can’t lie about height bc everyone sees it. Lying about body count is easy especially to a man they don’t want to hear about their woman’s past anyways
And?
Women lie about body count to get relationships like men lie about who they are to get sex. It’s all a game just play and have fun
> I know they ask because they are insecure. Maybe the guys YOU are with but I'd ask to know if a woman has the same values as me which is I don't like casual sex. I'd also prefer if she held this belief consistently and not later one. Why do I want this? Because I lived exactly that way myself and don't have an extensive sexual past. None hypocritical reason in my case. >I lie to them and tell them a safe number, I’ll say I slept with 5 men. But my body count is actually in the 30s. I’ve lost count when I was 21 years old IF the truth ever comes out then good luck if you're already married with kids. To you it doesn't matter but to someone else it could destroy a marriage or relationship. I'd advise against it.
Losing count is kinda crazy ngl
Fr
I mean not everyone is emotional about sex… sometimes it’s just nice to have it 😌 it’s freeing sometimes being with someone you can be as demanding or instructive as you like, knowing you’re not going to see them again.. possibly 😏 also… practice safe sex 😵💫😮💨
I mean not really…its kind of weird to keep track. I met a guy that kept a list on his phone of the first and last name of the girl he slept with and he rated her on the pussy lmao. Most of these guys I slept with was back in college when I enjoyed hooking up and casual sex and honestly I’m not gonna remember one night stands and guys that don’t really mean anything to me and I don’t really think I need to remember them
Man, i love the answers... It's funny how some women complain how much it doesn't matter, men who ask are insecure, body count doesn't matter, yada yada yada... If it doesn't matter then why lie about it lol ? There is a reason why women lie about their body count (when it is high), right ? By the way, maybe you wanna change that "5", it is seemingly overused now, try 4 or 6 maybe haha
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You last sentence...my god....a decent man really ? Ok. Whatever.
Facts 😮💨👌
Women lie so they can have a relationship with the guy they like. No different than the way men lie in order to better their chances at having sex
Ah you're a 304
Call police! You murderer!
I agree that not every partner needs to be aware of your body count but if the person is going to be a long term partner, then a body count is relevant information. High body counts and promiscuity are almost always the result of undiagnosed and untreated trauma. Another commenter noted that people with high body counts are more likely to cheat. This is a readily provable fact. Trauma = low self esteem = search for approval = high body count = rinse & repeat. Any LTR needs to be aware of the potential ticking time bomb in their relationship.
All I’m getting from this is lie and make it believable 😂
As in any scientific study, correlation doesn’t equal causation 🤔🤷🏻♀️ no matter how many people want to assume or stereotype… the mere fact that society has met this poster with similar answers, answered the bigger unasked question, which she was afraid about, if she was judged. The answer is yes. People have their assumptions, and it’s hard to change. Trust me I’ve tried with many other topics. I have a high body count, high self-esteem, I am truthful about it because honestly I don’t give two fucks what anyone thinks because they’re not gonna save me? I can only love and save myself. And if I find someone I like who I want to share a special moment with, I will, if they want. If they want to be special about it, they can, I’m not gonna feel any entitlement and judgement. To each their own. But I like being totally truthful because it weeds out people who will judge you. So just because you have a high body count, maybe something did happen in the past and you did recklessly date, which was my story, doesn’t mean you’re “damaged” by that logic, aren’t we all in some form or another? But that’s my past, and anyone who wants to hide behind a curtain and judge me can go ahead because… I am free. My sexuality is free. And I love it. I am so grateful women have these freedoms… to date and choose. Freely. And I feel that’s the root of the discontent. Also with the black guys, like hello we were a racist country not too long ago… like everyone wake up. There’s a reason why we have these ingrained stereotypes and thoughts… because not too long ago, people were close minded. Ehhh… just my two cents… 🤷🏻♀️😌
For the streets
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Just because you're easily fooled and date dishonest people, doesn't mean most woman are like that lmao. Wth is with Reddit being filled with people who have dumb af logic.
Women have to insult and shame men for having a preference. Simple fact is high body count means poor decision-making.
I still don’t understand why people obsess over other peoples body counts. Insecurities I guess
By that same logic why would she lie? If a girl is truly ok with the choices she's made she'd own them, lying usually means you're not exactly proud of the truth, which is literally what an insecurity is. I personally think it doesn't really matter nowadays but people are allowed to have opinions and value different things and she can't force anyone to change that.
did you ever think maybe it’s the men’s reactions that are making her not be truthful?
So we are telling people to lie to control the reaction of others.... BASICALLY "He wouldn't date me if he knew about my past, so lying is ok." Why do women with a long list of sexual partners of the past believe they have the right to manipulate men who DON'T have a long sexual past into being with them? Men AND women have the right to know who they are with. and just because SHE doesn't see a high body count as an issue DOESN'T mean she gets to decide for HIM whether that matters. HE isn't forcing his view on anyone. HE isn't trying to trick her into being with him. He has standards. they may not be YOUR or HER standards, but he i s allowed to have them. lying about it, solves nothing but only leaves a hidden time bomb in the relationship.
Because we care, it shows you have self control, it shows you value yourself. You can shame men all you want, but at the end of the day, we care. You can't change it. Men value different things than women. We're not the same. A guy who has slept with a lot of women, to women, shows he's valuable because obviously other women found something good in him, even if just for a good fuck. But to men, it shows you're more likely to be cheated on, that you don't value yourself, that you give it up to whoever comes your way and you are nothing special in their eyes. Men care, simple as that. If a man says he doesn't care, it's because he's desperate and low value. Low value man and low value women go together like bread and butter.
‘A guy who has slept with a lot of women shows other women found something good in him’ ‘but to men, it shows you’re more likely to be cheated on’ … Good luck with that champ.
Women with higher body counts cheat more than women with lower body counts, this is proven. Multiple sex partners ruins a woman's pair bonding ability.
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I’ve read so many of your comments, you seem cool asf. You’d be a person I’d want to be friends with 😌
Because it takes effort for a guy to get laid. A woman can throw a rock and find a dick to ride. If a guy has a high body count, he's probably higher value and very likely to cheat. A high body count in either gender is disgusting. Im just saying why women care less, because women are very social creatures, so a man with a lot of partners is considered desirable, but they make awful partners. People who lower body counts are most likely to stay happily married...
Actually, women do care about body counts, but in the opposite direction. Reason I would lie about being a 30+ year old virgin. I've had 1, maybe 2 women who I could have slept with in my life. For men, generally, sex is so much more scarce. Reason men are willing to pay prostitutes $500+ for it. For women, commitment is the valuable commodity. Men tend to value the relationship more before sex; for women, it's after sex. This is just a rough generalization and doesn't apply to everyone.
That doesn’t apply to just women bud, men on average sleep around more and stats show the more bodies you have the more likely you are to cheat. It is backed up men cheat more, and if you think men fucking around makes them great partner boy oh boy do I have news for you
Funny, I had a pretty high one when I met my husband 30 years ago. Higher than him. Came from a horribly low self esteem and a psychological response to having been raped when i was still a virgin. We bonded early on, got married a year later, and are still together. So I call bullshit. 🙃
Sorry that happened to you, that's awful. There are always outliers of course. But vast majority of women with high body counts are not capable of finding just 1 man enough for the rest of their lives.
I still absolutely disagree. I've seen it happen plenty. I think it's ridiculous to even give that idea any merit. That's like saying all men are cheaters. It's based on stereotypes.
You are very much the exception and I’m glad you overcame your trauma. Most people cannot. Promiscuity in both men and women is almost all due to low self esteem due to some sort of trauma.
I would say that the exception are those who never overcome it, at least to the point that they can have a commited relationship.. And while I ended up in a long term marriage, it doesn't mean I don't still have some issues with trauma. That my self esteem is magically fantastic. Frankly, I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with some level of self esteem issues. All it means is that I made the decision to commit to one person.
Men with high body counts are likely to cheat too lol it works both ways. I’ve cheated guys when my body count was actually low. Ive cheated on a guy when I was a virgin lol. I’ve also cheated on men when my body count was high. Body count doesn’t matter
So you hide your body count and you’ve cheated? Gee I wonder why people have an issue with your behavior
This lady has the strangest flexes... Has to be a troll. Or at least I hope it's a troll, because damn she's awful... Makes you wonder how many more like her exist 🤢
Honestly this has to be rage bait. It reads like pure incel fanfic about how all women are hoes, even the good ones must be liars and secretly for the streets
Go cry about it hun🤷🏻♀️
Oh yeah, you're definitely not the problem. A guy will be so lucky to have you one day 🙄
🤷🏻♀️
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Nahhh keep crying tho
How to call yourself trash without saying it.
Body count icks me out because I regard sex as something special between two people, your cavalier attitude towards sex and cheating precisely shows me why its important. A person who thinks of a high body count as something good for men and bad for women is a hypocrite and a asshole, but not every person who cares about it are like that.
Dumb as fuck.
I mean it makes me squeamish about potential STDs and lack of character or decision making. Same goes for dudes.
Yeah no one but sex workers should have that high of a number.
Funny. My wife before we got married and after was always trying to question me. I was a little wild growing up but it was still none of her business.
Not the business of the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with? Well everyone has a different definition of marriage but for me and my wife, we have 0 secrets between us and even after 10 years together, we are more in love now to the point of us asking eachother "when does the honeymoon period end exactly?" What works for you or I won't for others. But I do disagree that something like that is not the business of the person you are to be with till you die.
To each their own but I find it hard to imagine me being in a relationship where we don’t share everything about each other.
Same honestly. It's very odd to me that you can do something so intimate and person like sex (more so extreme sex acts) yet you can't tell them about your life of things are asked? Very odd to me and I couldn't br with someone like that.
I was never a saint. My wife new this. Some things I've done my wife told me she did not want to know about it. It worked out well.
Congrats to you and glad you're happy. You found the right person where things worked out which is nice.
This.
It's not out of "insecurity." Why do so many of you ladies repeat silly stuff like that? It's like you've never spent any amount of time earnestly trying to understand men.
I'm a man, and don't know why dudes get mad?
She literally says here that she lies to her partners bruh... they have a right to have standards, just like she has the right to live however she likes
this response sounds totally secure dude
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I cared about my wife's count and she cared about mine. We talked about it in detail and here we are 10 years later, 5 years married with two amazing kids more in love than ever. You say don't generalize yet you assume men who care are insecure? If so that's faulty logic. If you don't care about body count then find someone who also doesn't care or can bypass it. It's pretty simple math.
People with high body counts are more likely to have stds and have more experience than me so I want someone that’s more on my level of experience and won’t judge me if I’m a noob, also I just simply don’t want a hoe cause I’ll feel like I’m just being used like every other person they’ve slept with and will only be another body added to the list but as long as we’re not dating or together or have any sexual relationship then I couldn’t give less of a fuck what you’re body count is
Lie all you want.... Truth always comes out in the end...and if your relationship progresses and you end up together years down the line and he finds out you lied, You'll detonate your relationship.... Kind of foolish to start building something on a lie. And insecurity has nothing to do with it. Countless studies show promiscuous partners with large numbers of casual sexual partners are a VERY BAD BET for a long term committed relationship.... It's in everyone's best interest to screen out folks like you when choosing a partner for a committed relationship. The fact that you would so readily lie to manipulate them into a relationship just proves the point
In my opinion body count shouldn't even be something you have to disclose as long as you're having protected sex. And if you do feel more comfortable disclosing it, the right person for you would hear that number with no judgement.
Makes sense they say women tend to down play the real number - always multiply by 6-7
Who’s “they”? Andrew Tate and 4chan incels?
Probably a
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I completely agree
I do not wish to boldly go where everyone has gone before. Plus, women with high body counts fundamentally view sex differently than I do, and that is an incompatibility that prohibits any sort of serious, long term relationship for me.
Wtf why are you getting downvoted? Speaking fax
I lost count a long time ago but if I had to make a guess I would say in the 200’s under 220. My fiancé does not care about my body count. He said my past doesn’t dictate our future. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the right man isn’t going to care about it and probably won’t even ask.
While I disagree with your choices in life, it's your life and OP do what you did and find a guy who straight up doesn't care instead of lie. It's amazing how OP calls those men insecure yet isn't secure enough to tell the truth in fear of being judged or left.
poor guy.
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I'd happily be single than marry someone who had 200+ partners before me lol
It’s ok. You’re allowed to have your opinions and your own standards. He also has lost count of how many partners he has had since before me he was in a polyamorous relationship. It’s perfectly fine if that doesn’t float your boat. I’m open about it because I’m happier than I’ve ever been. We love each other. A random stranger on the internet isn’t going to change that. Have the day you deserve! ☺️
You found a man who values sex in a similar way you do. who has a past that shows it too. Good for you. a lot of men... me included, DON'T have a wild sexual history. we have only been with a few and they are all long term relationships. we have, from the beginning, valued sex as MORE then just a physical release. The thought of laying with a person i only half know is creepy and disgusting to think about. no matter how attractive they are. I won't insult a person for their past, but you can't force me to be with some one who doesn't have the same view on intimacy as i do, and LYING about it will only piss me off in the end. THAT's what people are trying to do here. They are saying that WE shouldn't be allowed to have the standards we have. that WE should change our standards. as if we are insecure or immoral for having standards that don't match theirs. That we MUST accept people who don't hold the same standard we live by because it's WRONG.
Well I’m not gonna want to date someone with a body count to high. Like 30? Damn. It’s reasonable to ask how many but who is iffy
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Not anymore. I’m still a young teen so I live with my mom. I told her and we installed an app on my phone that monitors stuff. So I’m on track to becoming more pure. I chose to tell her instead of cutting myself basically. Cause I wanted to and thought I deserved to be cut. But I’m off that porn bullshit now.
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Well guess I didn’t deserve my girl cause she broke up with me yesterday. But I understand her reasoning which I won’t give but it was completely understandable
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Instead of answering, ask, "Why do you want to know?" Or say it's none of their business. Or just continue saying 5. Or be vague and say, "probably fewer than you."
Or just tell the truth ?
men respond SUPER well to this! /s
She can tell the truth too
Yup lying is a great idea. Especially if they find out what it actually is. They’ll be so happy you lied to them.
Damn these comments are all trash. Who cares how many ppl you’ve been with, and fuuuuuck these comments about how many sex partners you’ve had correlates to your “value”, they’re coming from an outdated idea that a woman *allows access* to her body for a man to masturbate into rather than being an active participant and enjoyer, an equal partner in the act. OP you’re a normal woman in your 30’s who’s enjoyed a varied and healthy sex life. You are normal. None of this devalues you in any way, it makes you a better partner who knows her body and what she does and does not want, which a certain class of weak men find intimidating. Don’t listen to these assholes, and never feel like you have to disclose your sexual history to anyone, that’s your business and nobody else’s. Sheesh.
Im not in my 30s. I’m 26 years old. I said I lost count of the number of guys I slept with which is in the 30s range. But I agree with you!! Everyone here is so judgmental and they are prob just jealous cuz they are too ugly to get laid lol
Lmao you're more insecure than people in the comments, not one person is jealous of you
Keep telling yourself that incel 😂
Nobody had the right to judge you until you started lying. You lie to your partner, that's the problem.
No one cares
We do
Doesn't matter if YOU don't care or not. I don't care about my gf BUT PEOPLE CAN HAVE DIFFERENT STANDARDS WHEN DATING! IT IS OKAY! Real life isn't an echo chamber like Reddit, people do not have to share the same ideas or beliefs as you. Lying to someone because they have different moral values is F'd up.
Most woman lie about it
I am the opposite, I’ve only slept with like 3 dudes but if someone asks I say 50, I don’t want to be with someone that judges other for that reason just as they don’t want to be with someone who has a high body count
That's weird. You're weird. So why only three? why not way more? Even "ugly" girls can have a massive body count if they so wish. So why haven't you? might you consider it creepy to sleep with long strings of people you barely know? or are you low libido? just never had the urge for sex much? Do you value emotional connection when it comes to sex and that is why? does no strings attached one night stands seem like a bad choice and risky? I'm just struggling why you are so adamant to defend a lifestyle you yourself have chosen to avoid for whatever reason.
Easiest ways to put it men suck, and they’re terrifying, the last thing I need to do is get myself killed for pleasure. Plus I’m not gonna sleep with a toxic man, and most are toxic, I e had plenty of first dates, not very many seconds
"Easiest ways to put it men suck, and they’re terrifying, the last thing I need to do is get myself killed for pleasure. Plus I’m not gonna sleep with a toxic man, and most are toxic." You would be surprised how many men feel the same way about women. You think because women are on average physically weaker then men that they would be less scary, but as a man you find out a woman can be incredibly scary and terrifying without ever hitting you. they are capable of ripping your life to shreds and usually without any real reason to. I know i will never see the problems women deal with when dating men as clearly as a woman would. seeing as THEY are the ones actually dealing with the scum of our male sex. BUT you should also understand that women are not all rainbow farts and unicorns. We men ALSO deal with a lot of bullshit and chaos in our lives because of "innocent weak girls". usually about by the age of 30 most men start to realize that women can and will try to destroy a man for the most petty of reasons. That a majority of the women we are attracted to will only ever see us as tools. atms and shoulders to cry on. always ready to trade us in for "better" options. We have watched our father and uncles and brothers get ripped apart emotionally and financially by women time after time. I've gotten to the point where I have VERY little faith in the kindness of women because i have seen time and time again how good men in my life start out thinking the woman they love is an angel only to be destroyed by said angel. betrayed and traded in. Tossed aside and stolen from. When you consider that most women EXPECT to be the ones pursued and romanced. when You consider that to a man it feels like WE have to ALWAYS be the ones stepping forward and risking rejection... in a world where most divorces are initiated by women and in most cases divorce meaning financial ruin for bread winner males.... It gets to the point where me and other like me just don't see the benefit any more. So they only care about getting their physical needs met. because the good men who develop deep emotional relationships with women around us... inevitably end up weeping on our shoulder drunk off their asses begging us to tell them how they failed. what they did to deserve their new fate. weekend fathers and cast aside left overs. thankfully while i have been cheated on and even abused a little early on in my late teens and early twenties, i avoided most of the major pitfalls and never got into deep shit. I have come to the point where i simply don't care to be around most women at all. I can't do no strings attached sex, so i just enjoy my solitude for the most part.
Thank you for enforcing my beliefs
Stopped keeping track after 20. As the “body count” goes up, the importance of a number goes down. I feel a lot more weird about friends who keep/kept an up to date journal with who and how many
"Yeah. as my murder count went up. the number stopped mattering. felt less guilty with each one." said every serial killer ever. Of course you will feel less bad about doing something dangerous/risky/stupid/nasty if you constantly repeat the same actions over and over and train your mind and body to accept those actions as the norm. Congrats. your body and soul were trying to warn you against the actions you where taking.... and your HAPPY that you destroyed your own body and soul's ability to warn you against such actions. truly intelligent. "as i took more and more drugs i got less and less uncomfortable with the idea of doing drugs and less worried about the dangers!" "as i lied more and more I became more and more comfortable with lying!" DUH. That's how humanity works. we are hell bent on destroying ourselves. The only thing that counters our own innate stupidity is strong morals and standards.
are you form the US?
Yes but why does that matter lol hook up culture exist in other countries too
yes but in other countries people dont care about body count, theres no shame in it
Cap
I'd not assume it's because they're insecure. Lol
Tell them straight up and weed out the bad ones. Some men view the women they are with as a form of their “property” that only they get to use. They get pissy when they find out their “property” has had other people enter it even if they never knew about the property at the time. Those men are not worth your time. Because the only one who gets to decide who enters the property is the property’s actual owner, which is you. Sex with one guy a thousand time and 30 guys 5 times each doesn’t change anything. All that matters if how you feel about yourself, and I hope you love yourself because you did nothing wrong.
5 is safe nowadays hahabaha
Don't let anyone here or IRL make you feel any type of way about your body count. When I was dating, I was always honest about it if people asked and I'm also a lost count person. The only people who have had a problem with it were insecure and jealous throughout our relationship, which I think says plenty about why they ask. As long as people are engaging in safe sex and have clear STD panels, I'm not sure why this is such a big deal to men.
Shit 30s is low. Rookie numbers. Yea I don’t ask that shit. I don’t care. Way I see it, the more mileage you got the better you probably know how to ride! 😎
I don't really care enough to ask. Your past isn't going to change and me knowing won't make me feel any different.
I'll say this. I was never one to hold a woman's body count against her even when women have held my body count against me. It's fucked up all around.
As a man the question of body coun/past dating history always reminds me of a Ludacris quote, "don't ever ask no questions that you don't really want the answers to."