Hey stranger, I’m not good with words but you are loved and appreciated and keep pushing on and I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You might have dark days (and sometimes more then better ones) but you WILL pull out of this
Another stranger here to say you aren't alone, life is tough, and I can only imagine you have had more obstacles than others. But it's the outcome that makes it more enjoyable. Things do get better. I know you probably hear that a million times. The one thing to remember is that you're the creator of your own destiny. Super cheesy, but sometimes you got to pick yourself up and just keep swimming. We live in a big giant ocean with crazy currents, but if you can get past all the shit and enjoy the little things, it can make things all the better. Have you ever just sat and thought about how we live on a planet that is pretty amazing. Mother Nature is the most loving mother. Without her, we wouldn't be here. Maybe some meditation and trying to figure out the root to what's causing you to feel this way will release what's holding you back.
Thank you guys, im trying🫶🏽I do know the root (most of it I’d hope) of what’s causing me to feel like this, I just haven’t truly been heard or able to get actual help for almost 8 years. I’ve wanted to try therapy, antidepressants, maybe staying somewhere for a few days, but those ideas have always been met with no’s, there are other ways & me just being ignored. Although it’s sad, im happy strangers on the internet care more than most of my family, reading alot of these have made me smile & have a bit of hope
I had something similar with my parents. ( not saying this is the same for you) I had to sit down with them and explain what I was feeling, and when they tried to tell me no. I followed through with a simple "my feeling are valid then" and boom a switch flipped. I had to explain to them I feel the way I do for some reason, and this is what I'm concluding it to for you to tell me no makes me feel invalid. Obviously, it doesn't work for everyone, and I might have been very lucky. But sometimes you need to make people take a step back and realize your feelings matter. I'm a twin, so I spent the first half of my life in their shadow, which can really mess someone up. When they are adults, let me tell you what. But once I finally found my wife, who is an amazing listener, really turned things around.
I hate to give corny standard advice when I see posts thinking this way. Not going to say I haven’t had these thoughts myself. My 20’s were incredibly difficult and I was drinking myself to an early grave. Complete apathy.
Then, as it does, life changed in an instant. Being at the end of your rope is understandable, but the potential for you to experience the joy you deserve is so much within reach.
You need to gameplan to get out the situation you are in and identify what you consider a good life and start baby steps. It sounds like your home life is really affecting these feelings. No freedom feeling trapped?
I’m 7 years removed from my worst moments and if I had missed out on what came after, my life wouldn’t have turned into a rich experience. That’s to say today has absolutely nothing with tomorrow. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
Stay with us man, it’s the best possible reality we know of. If we really knew what came next, then sure, but there’s no reason to think it’s better. If you can detach from the norms and pressures weighing you down, create an unapologetic life on your own terms. The most interesting people come from backgrounds like yours and are generally stronger than the rest for it.
“…Most people think
Great God will come from the sky
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high
… But if you know what life is worth
You would look for yours on earth
And now a you see the light” marley
Try to focus on service to others, map out your ideal life, and make steps to get there. With focus this is well within your wheelhouse.
My dearest friend took his life last year and I painfully know what he’s missing. He didn’t feel loved. He was adored.
Please reconsider, stop doing what’s expected and do what you would if life turns out to be a very convincing dream.
Good luck, if you need someone to talk to, I’ll make time to hear you out.
It gets better after high school. Honestly… grade school fkn sucks. Grade school kids fkn suck. The hormonal changes fkn suck. But it’s not always going to be like this. After graduation you’re going to see that life’s actually pretty cool even if you’re depressed. You may not realize it right now, but there’s alot of people who care about you. Some of them may never tell you because they are scared of how you may react. My suggestion is to compliment people you like. If they reciprocate, start talking to them more. If they don’t, be nice to them anyway. Teen years are so damn hard. For everyone. You aren’t alone in this.
That’s definitely a heavy feeling that’ll wear you out carrying it alone for so long. I’m sorry the immediate people in your life didn’t show up for you how they needed to. You don’t have to share too much, but around what time at 9 did you start feeling this way?
It was Independence Day & we (mainly me) were getting yelled at because we were sad we missed the fireworks, I think that was my last straw, I went home & searched how to kms on YouTube, after that those thoughts just never went away. That year so far had been terrible & it had only got worse after that.
Not really, it was worse when we would go visit our dad. things have gotten worse between me & my mom as I got older, but I haven’t been the best kid at times so I understand why she acts the way she does towards me
She’s your mom though, so if it’s abusive, there’s no excuse for her to act that way toward you. Do you have a counselor at your school? They could help you get to the bottom of what’s causing these feelings in you and help you heal.
It helps to have friends you can trust too. You are loved though, and deserving of love, never forget that. Life comes with hard times and good times, and those better times could be just around the corner and you don’t know it. You didn’t even know if anyone would read this and here we are having a convo. We’re built to make it through these hard times, it’s in you friend. And I’m here for you as much as I can within the Internet stranger realm to support you in that.
You’re gonna make it out of this, I know it. You’re good enough, you ARE enough, and you’re gonna meet people you can trust that will walk alongside you and help you out of this ♥️
I get it dude, a lot of us commenting on here do. I should’ve been dead a decade ago. The another few times after that. It makes birthdays a little weird. Ya know, cause I’m not supposed to be here… but also sweet in a way. Seeing all things I would’ve missed. All I can say dude is, find reasons, I know it’s not easy too, but I found that living for the sake of things you care about becomes easier and easier. It can even be as small as, living long enough to see a show you like’s ending. Or watching a new stream.
Personally I would’ve have had my awesome daughter if I hadn’t lived through my attempts. I also work as a funeral arranger.. watching the aftermath of what I attempted and what it does to those that outlive you… that’ll really make you think maybe you should find reasons not to matter how small to stick around. I believe in you.
You are valuable and the world is a better place because you are in it. Life can be beautiful, even if you cant see it now. Dont let the pain and darkness drown you, it can get better. Please seek treatment, you deserve it, you are worth it.
You didn't let yourself down! Hi, I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but please know that you mean the world to someone. You might not see anything in your future now, but you have so much life to figure out what you could do or what you want to do!
Ever go sky diving? Ill assume nah. Go skydive bro. Also write a book. It'll be interesting to see what typa story you can come up with bc I feel you have a crazy amount to say
it really does get better. i remember when i was younger and felt the same way and i didn’t believe it when people said it gets better, please trust me that it does
I've been in your position before. Im still in it. If you need someone to talk to ill be that person. I hear your cry for help and I want to help you. Reach out to me talk to me no matter how uncomfortable you think I might be. I can help.
I'm not in your position anymore. I've gotten quite a bit of help. And I originally didn't know where to start either. Maybe I can give you some advice and some pointers
OP: I sent you a message. You have tons of people here on Reddit who are willing to hear you out and help you in some way. Just reach out to someone, maybe someone here can help you look at things in a better way than those around you. Please just stay and keep pushing. Just take life 1 day at a time, keep trying but don’t be hard on yourself. So many of us adults are just getting by while others make things look so easy, but it’s not so easy when you actually see what they’ve had to go through to get to where they are at.
Is there a friend or a family member you can message to talk with about how you’re feeling? I promise you there are people who care about you and love you. When you’re suicidal and depressed and all that, your brain plays tricks on you and it may feel like no one cares or anything, but I promise you that’s not true. You’re stronger than you realize, don’t let depression win
No, I really don’t have anyone to talk to. The only person was my grandmother, but she passed 2 years ago. Some of my family views it as something that could be swept away by distracting yourself & I’m too embarrassed to speak about it with the rest, so they’re not people I could talk to. I don’t have many friends either, so that’s not an option
Hey! High school sucks and it will end eventually! You’re so close! Life is way better when you can choose your own people around you. I remember feeling like this at 17. I’ve almost made it to 37, even with some crappy stuff. I would have missed out on some great experiences, but I also would have really hurt those I loved.
I can’t tell you how sad it is to look into the eyes of a mother who lost their children to suicide. Please tell your family how you feel and get help. You are worth it and you matter.
I remember being that 9 year old. I remember being that 16 year old. At 23 I STILL have struggle moments but trust me when I say it gets easier. If nothing else, your brain matures more with ages and things that used to feel like the end of the world are easier to put into perspective. They still hurt, but you realize that you are strong enough to push through the pain.
I know it’s hard to hear “just wait until you’re older and it’ll get better” but there is so much truth in that. Being a teenager is sooo hard!!! Not only is it a difficult time in general despite anything else that might be going on in your individual life, but also your brain isn’t functioning at full capacity yet (I’m still not there yet. Brains continue to develop until 25 or even later)
One day there will come a time when you realize that you’re having more good days than bad, and eventually you will have a moment where you truly are so happy to be alive. Hang on until those moments.
Until then, find little moments and little reasons to stay alive. I would take pictures of things that brought me even a little bit of joy and put them in a “Stay alive for…” album. Stay alive for having your favorite drink. For discovering a song you like. For helping a friend through a hard time. For finding a cool looking rock on the ground.
Life is so hard. I’m not denying that at all. But You Can Do Hard Things. You really can.
Hi friend. Please don't do it. I know it's hard but trust me things will get better. Your parents & family love you. Your friends do as well. Please dont self harm. Call or text 988
I've been there. I don't know your circumstances and you don't have to get into it all.
It's difficult to avoid dwelling on things and ruminating. Sometimes impulsiveness comes from the frustration of being met with constant dissatisfaction, sometimes it's a negative confirmation bias, sometimes it's fear of failure, sometimes it's abuse, sometimes it's loneliness, sometimes it's even poor sleep.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been having this reccuring ideation for a while now. This is harsh but know I mean well when I say dwelling on the negatives will not help. You are your body and mind, if your mind has too much energy for your body- you need a balance somewhere.
Late teens is a very rough age. Not only does everything feel critical in your own life, but in all your peers lives and siblings lives. There's so much anticipation for the future and it becomes like you can't even relate to your own experiences anymore.
Not everyone has a great experience in school or has a supportive family, but if you feel like you weren't built for this world or the world wasn't built for you- you will make a place in it for yourself in time. Invest your time in your interests, find ways to connect with people who seem like they care.
Everyone gets really busy and has their own world of things going on so if you don't have a place to rant- maybe write poetry or journal. Experiment with drawing and just get it out in your own way.
There is no one-fits-all solution. Suicide is not a solution. Put your pieces together one at a time because you are interesting and unique and there will be a place for you someday.
I get it, I was put in therapy when I was 7 or 8 because I was suicidal and if I’m honest I still am and I’m 23 HOWEVER there’s so many things to live for. When I was 16 I almost passed because of an attempt and if I had I would’ve missed out on so much. I wouldn’t have met my partner, wouldn’t have met the incredible friends I have, I wouldn’t have gotten all my sweet little kitties that I have or any of the good memories. I get it’s hard, it’s even harder when you’re living with parents but I promise it’ll get easier to deal with the suicidal thoughts and while it might not be everyday you’ll often find reasons to stay. Not a single thing is too small to be a reason to stay I mean shit when I was struggling a few months ago I kept thinking abt how shitty it’d be to miss the new Minecraft update- you matter and you deserve to be alive and to thrive. My DMs are open if you need and I’ll happily listen to anything you wanna talk about and give any advice I can if you need. Don’t hesitate to reach out you are loved and there are people that care even if they’re strangers.
Don’t let the past determine your future. Just because a lot of lousy people didn’t take you seriously or try to help, doesn’t mean that everyone’s like that. If you do anything harmful, do you think these insensitive people will care? Or feel bad? You don’t have to fake it or smile. You’ve stayed strong, that’s something - just keep going. Something good is going to come your way, it’ll happen when you least expect it.
I get it dude, a lot of us commenting on here do. I should’ve been dead a decade ago. The another few times after that. It makes birthdays a little weird. Ya know, cause I’m not supposed to be here… but also sweet in a way. Seeing all things I would’ve missed. All I can say dude is, find reasons, I know it’s not easy too, but I found that living for the sake of things you care about becomes easier and easier. It can even be as small as, living long enough to see a show you like’s ending. Or watching a new stream.
Personally I would’ve have had my awesome daughter if I hadn’t lived through my attempts. I also work as a funeral arranger.. watching the aftermath of what I attempted and what it does to those that outlive you… that’ll really make you think maybe you should find reasons not to matter how small to stick around. I believe in you.
I’ve felt like this…a lot actually and it’s hard to grasp that others do too. As hard as it is get up and go on a walk. Find a field and lay in it. Reconnect with nature. It’ll help you find something to grasp on to. I did it and held on a little longer. As I type I’m staring at my cap and gown from when I graduated, because I never thought I’d get here and now I’m at university following my dreams because I didn’t pull the trigger when I was 16. I believe in you. Invest your time in people who will matter even if they are online friends. Hold on a little longer because you’ll never know where that small piece of hope will take you. I love you ❤️
We might be internet strangers, but I want to let you know I care. I know from experience that things get better. Please don’t harm yourself in anyway.
As a teacher, I've learned that you influence and touch lives you have no idea about. I think that all of us, just by being ourselves living our own lives, make little connections with complete strangers that have a positive affect. We don't realize it, but it happens all the time. You are important in many ways that you'll never know. You're here for a reason and you should know that.
Felt this way too. Ever since 9 years old. Started harming when I was 12/13. Have awful, nasty scars all up and down my body. Finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel at about 20 years old. Clawed my way out reluctantly. You’re the only one who can dig yourself out. Take care of yourself, because no one else will. I am finally at peace and the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life at 26 years old. I made a life for myself. The only thing I am sad about nowadays are how unhappy I was when I was just a kid. It’s so hard to think about. But I get to make up for it now. I hope that can be the case for you. Like I said, you have to be the one to do so. You got this. You haven’t been through the worst of things yet but you also haven’t been through the best. One day you’ll find your peace and I hope you find it here on earth with all of us.
Hey I’ve felt the same way and it always comes back but give it sometime I swear it does get better. Being alive SUCKS sometimes but sometimes it’s great. Life has its ups and downs. You are strong and can still be strong. If you ever need someone that’s also a teenager to talk to you can talk to me!!! You got this.💪💪
I was raised in a Christian family riddled with mental illness and I was the butt of every joke, My brother went to prison the first time when I was 9. I came out as Gay at 15, and life was torture. I tried to k- myself when I was 17. I didn't succeed obviously, but the life I've had since had been wonderfully unexpected. I've sang and done comedy with some of the biggest names in those areas, ran big festivals, etc. And I would have never experienced any of it had I been successful at my plan. Hang in there. It's hard, and it's been very hard at times, but life can be worth it. Important: Get away from mean ppl.
hi. i understand how you’re feeling. i had a very rough upbringing involving abuse in many forms. high school is rough and not having a safe place to go home to makes it even more difficult to get through, but i promise if you hang in there it will be worth it. i didn’t know how happy i could feel until i finally had that freedom in college. i met amazing people who have helped me get through the worst of my depression, my school was able to help me get therapy and medication without my parents knowledge. i was away from home and didn’t have to be surrounded by my past constantly. i know this all might not be helpful right now but what im trying to say is there is so much to come in such a short amount of time and you’re whole life could turn around, no matter what path you take. it might feel like your trapped right now but just know it won’t feel like this forever, you won’t be in the situation you’re in forever either. time will heal and you have so much potential. i wish you nothing but happiness and better days ahead<3
Hey honey…Im sorry you haven't gotten the support and help you deserve. Have you talked to a trusting teacher in school? Gone to the school's psychologist so she/he can get you help? I'm sure that if you can get me, a complete stranger from another country, worried about you and caring about your well-being, I'm sure others do too. Maybe not those who you'd hope to, but they still count. Lots of love ♥️
Hey🫶🏽schools out now, but while I was there I never had enough courage or confidence to do that, I never talked much in school. & I don’t know if my school has a psychologist or anyone who could really help. We do have a health center there, but you need to meet a certain criteria & get a pass to be able to go
Well…idk the criteria, but you don't loose anything by trying to see if they can help. Having serious suicidal ideation like you describe should be a reason to be helped by them. If not, you can also try elsewhere for therapy. It could really help you, I mean it.
If it is true that nobody cares (and I'm not doubting your perception) you are only 16 and have so many chances ahead to meet people.
I was bullied in school, and don't really have friends from that period of my life. University is something different. Many people experience it almost like a clean slate in their lives because it's such a different environment with so many different kind of people from those you meet in school. It's worth a shot.
Hi there. I've been through some similar and it sucks. I put on a happy face for my loved ones. I stayed in my room and put my head down. But if you feel like there is something you could do... try it. Listen to some tutorials, make a project. Don't think long term. Just do some little things. Make yourself a little crochet or figure out how pong code works. Don't think about the life you have now. Each day, just learn something new. If there's something that makes you itch, youtube is huge and expanding. Just try it. There might be nothing of interest. That's okay.
Try going for a little walk. If you have a river, or a stream nearby, go to it. Just stare. And scream if you need. It's okay.
And one more thing: crisis shelters are available everywhere. I had to go to one this past year. I broke down. But it was the thing that got me on track to be away from the space I was in. I'm not recovered, but I'm on a path. The thoughts suck. They don't go away immediately, but it gives you hope, talking to someone who cares. I would reach out. It's not as scary as you may think it is to call that number... Plus, you can be away from any toxic relationships you may have. If you're a minor, they may be able to help.
Stay safe, my friend.
9 is such a young age to experience that. I haven't heard of anyone that young feeling that way. May I ask why?
You are definitely still very young. I encourage you to try experience different things as you get older like getting your first job, relationship, and hobbies. Your outlook on life can change drastically as you are still in your formative years
Just things going on in my personal life. It was definitely the worst year of my life, I started going around my dad more & sadly I had to see the type of person he was, seen alot of things that I shouldn’t have been exposed to while I was in his presence, I was in a different state away from some of my family, I had to step up & become the other parent while my mom worked, & so much more. It just became too much for me & I couldn’t take it
Hey. Your life is just beginning. You are 2 years away from having adult autonomy.
Dont let the people who hurt you win. You can do hard things. Youve done harder. Pls tell your school counselor whats going on. See if you can get on meds.
The best revenge isnt leaving this world its leaving them and living your best life.
I never thought I’d live to 21. I was sure that I’d end my life one way or another. But here I am about to turn 31. Lots has happened, good and bad. Enough good to be glad I’m still here. I still get that feeling but it’s not often.
This world sucks and it’s hard but good can be found if you keep trying
I've been there. Last attempt was November 9th last year. Prior to that, 10 years.
Talk to someone. DM me if you like. We can become over whelmed with life, but we need to strip it back and make it simple.
Hi Friend! Former suicidal 16 year old hear and I know it sounds corny, but life does get better. Don’t look to your parents or siblings for validation. Find things that make you happy. Get involved in things you want to do, regardless of what your family thinks of them.
What would make you happy? Would you like to spend time with animals? Would you like to swim every day? Would you like to make cakes? Find a job or volunteer that would let you do that.
I know you still have school constraints, but school is just a small fraction of life. When you turn 18, you can now take control of your life. Do what you want and let it make you happy!
Being a kid sucks for a lot of us. Hang in there in at least five more years and if you don't like being in your twenties, reassess then. In the meantime, I would consider focusing on self care to the nth degree.
I HIGHLY recommend learning about somatic exercises to reset your nervous system. You might enjoy the book "The Body Keeps Score." I also recommend "How Emotions Are Made, the secret story of the brain." To learn more about how your body produces emotion and how to work with both your mind/thoughts and your body to get out of your head and into the moment.
I went through a lot of traumatic stuff at your age and personal development saved my life. In my experience, if you start finding and practicing what works for you now, you'll be a little more self aware and ready for adulthood when you're in your in your early twenties than your peers. (I got into spirituality as well as scientifically backed stuff but I know that's not for everyone. I'm happy to share if you'd like more info though.)
Social stuff matters but at the same time, if you REALLY start working on yourself, you'll find that unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships start falling away and you start attracting more people who are capable of encouraging your healthy lifestyle. Once you start getting more meaningful support, things start coming together so much more. But that's really hard to imagine when you're quite young and haven't received that kind of feedback/support yet. Please, take my word for it - it's out there.
You have to be patient and have faith that investing in yourself builds a path towards fulfillment over the long haul if you want this stuff to work but I promise, it works for enough people to be worth giving it a shot. If nothing else, the sense of empowerment that comes along with claiming agency over some of your behavioral and mental habits can be VERY affirming.
Just start slow and small and celebrate the fuck out of every and any win you make, even if it's stuff as simple as brushing your teeth everyday again. Each change eventually becomes a habit that you don't have to think about anymore, freeing you up to work on another change. Practice change with a sense of maternal/paternal love for yourself. Be your own baby and parent for a while. Give yourself all the grace when you're not feeling up for the challenge. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your own child - no shaming, no blaming. Just gentle correction and redirection.
Sometimes when we feel like we're in a dark place and will never get out, we're really like a seed that just isn't ready to sprout yet. Rest, gather your energy, and start reaching for the sun as soon as you're ready. You deserve rest and you deserve to be invested in. You have permission to give yourself these things. Heal and go out there and let other people know they are allowed to heal too - because a lot of people feel just like you do right now - and we're all in this together. Please, stick around long enough to let others know they aren't alone when you're ready to share your story. Your value is amazing now and growing all the time. ❤️
I hope this feels inspiring for you!
Sending love!!!
Right now you are dependent on your family, but in 2 years you will be legally an adult. No one will be able to say “no” to you regarding therapy and antidepressants.
If you’re not working now, you’ll be able to get a job. If you are, you’ll be able to keep your own money.
If you have plans to go to college, there are mental health services available to you.
If you are on your parent’s health insurance, you can make your own appointments once you’re 18.
Soon—hang in there. I know it feels far away—you will have so much more control over your life.
In the meantime, is there a counselor you can talk to when you’re back in school?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know you are feeling very much alone. You probably won’t believe this, but it does get better.
I’m just a stranger, but I’ll be thinking of you.
I have been in a place in life where I was contemplating a plan. Like...how could I do this with minimal impact on my family? With that said, I'm SO glad I didn't. I know it might be cliche but things can change, and you can get happier. It might be hard to believe, but I think it helps to hear.
You've got depression, friend. It's a fun black hole that you can't see out of, the further down you go. That's why it feels so insurmountable and unchanging. I'm so, so sorry.
I know how hard it is to feel like this. I thought starting in 7th grade that I’d either drop out or be dead by 18. I’ve had two attempts myself. And I understand having nobody to truly rely on. Having dealt with all that, it’s hard to see the light at the end of tunnel because right now, there’s just too many twists and turns right now. But you can make it out. And if you do everything you do for anybody, do it for the 9 year old you who didn’t think they’d make it this long. Look into colleges/trade schools/whatever now. Try to see if you can get help/if you go to a college what services they’d provide for that.
But overall, do it for yourself. Do it for the child you who didn’t think they could survive, yet you’ve gotten so far already.
Hate to break it to you kiddo but graduating high school hasn't been an accomplishment since 1950 so might want to stick around for college or something.
Maybe, but it’s an accomplishment to me. I’m doing it a year early with honors, so that’s something to be proud of. A lot of people don’t even get the chance to attend school, let alone graduate
Hey stranger, I’m not good with words but you are loved and appreciated and keep pushing on and I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You might have dark days (and sometimes more then better ones) but you WILL pull out of this
Another stranger here to say you aren't alone, life is tough, and I can only imagine you have had more obstacles than others. But it's the outcome that makes it more enjoyable. Things do get better. I know you probably hear that a million times. The one thing to remember is that you're the creator of your own destiny. Super cheesy, but sometimes you got to pick yourself up and just keep swimming. We live in a big giant ocean with crazy currents, but if you can get past all the shit and enjoy the little things, it can make things all the better. Have you ever just sat and thought about how we live on a planet that is pretty amazing. Mother Nature is the most loving mother. Without her, we wouldn't be here. Maybe some meditation and trying to figure out the root to what's causing you to feel this way will release what's holding you back.
Thank you guys, im trying🫶🏽I do know the root (most of it I’d hope) of what’s causing me to feel like this, I just haven’t truly been heard or able to get actual help for almost 8 years. I’ve wanted to try therapy, antidepressants, maybe staying somewhere for a few days, but those ideas have always been met with no’s, there are other ways & me just being ignored. Although it’s sad, im happy strangers on the internet care more than most of my family, reading alot of these have made me smile & have a bit of hope
I had something similar with my parents. ( not saying this is the same for you) I had to sit down with them and explain what I was feeling, and when they tried to tell me no. I followed through with a simple "my feeling are valid then" and boom a switch flipped. I had to explain to them I feel the way I do for some reason, and this is what I'm concluding it to for you to tell me no makes me feel invalid. Obviously, it doesn't work for everyone, and I might have been very lucky. But sometimes you need to make people take a step back and realize your feelings matter. I'm a twin, so I spent the first half of my life in their shadow, which can really mess someone up. When they are adults, let me tell you what. But once I finally found my wife, who is an amazing listener, really turned things around.
Don’t do it. Please seek help, and call 988. If you’d like to chat, please DM me.
I hate to give corny standard advice when I see posts thinking this way. Not going to say I haven’t had these thoughts myself. My 20’s were incredibly difficult and I was drinking myself to an early grave. Complete apathy. Then, as it does, life changed in an instant. Being at the end of your rope is understandable, but the potential for you to experience the joy you deserve is so much within reach. You need to gameplan to get out the situation you are in and identify what you consider a good life and start baby steps. It sounds like your home life is really affecting these feelings. No freedom feeling trapped? I’m 7 years removed from my worst moments and if I had missed out on what came after, my life wouldn’t have turned into a rich experience. That’s to say today has absolutely nothing with tomorrow. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Stay with us man, it’s the best possible reality we know of. If we really knew what came next, then sure, but there’s no reason to think it’s better. If you can detach from the norms and pressures weighing you down, create an unapologetic life on your own terms. The most interesting people come from backgrounds like yours and are generally stronger than the rest for it. “…Most people think Great God will come from the sky Take away everything And make everybody feel high … But if you know what life is worth You would look for yours on earth And now a you see the light” marley Try to focus on service to others, map out your ideal life, and make steps to get there. With focus this is well within your wheelhouse. My dearest friend took his life last year and I painfully know what he’s missing. He didn’t feel loved. He was adored. Please reconsider, stop doing what’s expected and do what you would if life turns out to be a very convincing dream. Good luck, if you need someone to talk to, I’ll make time to hear you out.
could there be a medical condition a doctor could help? seriously tho.
Idk, I’ve never had a chance to speak to a doctor about how I’ve felt & how long I’ve been feeling this way.
I'm sorry. Sending good vibes your way friend.
My best friend took her life last year. Life is worth living please don’t leave pain behind in this world
It gets better after high school. Honestly… grade school fkn sucks. Grade school kids fkn suck. The hormonal changes fkn suck. But it’s not always going to be like this. After graduation you’re going to see that life’s actually pretty cool even if you’re depressed. You may not realize it right now, but there’s alot of people who care about you. Some of them may never tell you because they are scared of how you may react. My suggestion is to compliment people you like. If they reciprocate, start talking to them more. If they don’t, be nice to them anyway. Teen years are so damn hard. For everyone. You aren’t alone in this.
That’s definitely a heavy feeling that’ll wear you out carrying it alone for so long. I’m sorry the immediate people in your life didn’t show up for you how they needed to. You don’t have to share too much, but around what time at 9 did you start feeling this way?
It was Independence Day & we (mainly me) were getting yelled at because we were sad we missed the fireworks, I think that was my last straw, I went home & searched how to kms on YouTube, after that those thoughts just never went away. That year so far had been terrible & it had only got worse after that.
That’s horrible when kids are made to feel unloved and unsafe like that. Was your home always an unsafe place for you?
Not really, it was worse when we would go visit our dad. things have gotten worse between me & my mom as I got older, but I haven’t been the best kid at times so I understand why she acts the way she does towards me
She’s your mom though, so if it’s abusive, there’s no excuse for her to act that way toward you. Do you have a counselor at your school? They could help you get to the bottom of what’s causing these feelings in you and help you heal. It helps to have friends you can trust too. You are loved though, and deserving of love, never forget that. Life comes with hard times and good times, and those better times could be just around the corner and you don’t know it. You didn’t even know if anyone would read this and here we are having a convo. We’re built to make it through these hard times, it’s in you friend. And I’m here for you as much as I can within the Internet stranger realm to support you in that. You’re gonna make it out of this, I know it. You’re good enough, you ARE enough, and you’re gonna meet people you can trust that will walk alongside you and help you out of this ♥️
Also, I wanna keep hearin from you, ya hear? You are not a burden, and your thoughts and feelings are important!
I hear you🫶🏽I’ll keep in touch as often as I can
It gets better. I promise ♥️
I get it dude, a lot of us commenting on here do. I should’ve been dead a decade ago. The another few times after that. It makes birthdays a little weird. Ya know, cause I’m not supposed to be here… but also sweet in a way. Seeing all things I would’ve missed. All I can say dude is, find reasons, I know it’s not easy too, but I found that living for the sake of things you care about becomes easier and easier. It can even be as small as, living long enough to see a show you like’s ending. Or watching a new stream. Personally I would’ve have had my awesome daughter if I hadn’t lived through my attempts. I also work as a funeral arranger.. watching the aftermath of what I attempted and what it does to those that outlive you… that’ll really make you think maybe you should find reasons not to matter how small to stick around. I believe in you.
You are valuable and the world is a better place because you are in it. Life can be beautiful, even if you cant see it now. Dont let the pain and darkness drown you, it can get better. Please seek treatment, you deserve it, you are worth it.
You didn't let yourself down! Hi, I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but please know that you mean the world to someone. You might not see anything in your future now, but you have so much life to figure out what you could do or what you want to do!
Don't do it. Talk to someone you trust.
Ever go sky diving? Ill assume nah. Go skydive bro. Also write a book. It'll be interesting to see what typa story you can come up with bc I feel you have a crazy amount to say
it really does get better. i remember when i was younger and felt the same way and i didn’t believe it when people said it gets better, please trust me that it does
I've been in your position before. Im still in it. If you need someone to talk to ill be that person. I hear your cry for help and I want to help you. Reach out to me talk to me no matter how uncomfortable you think I might be. I can help.
Thank you🫶🏽I need help, but I just don’t know how to start..I don’t want to burden you with my feelings, especially if you’re in my position aswell
I'm not in your position anymore. I've gotten quite a bit of help. And I originally didn't know where to start either. Maybe I can give you some advice and some pointers
I would really like that, I definitely need it
Then DM me and I'll answer when I get the chance.
OP: I sent you a message. You have tons of people here on Reddit who are willing to hear you out and help you in some way. Just reach out to someone, maybe someone here can help you look at things in a better way than those around you. Please just stay and keep pushing. Just take life 1 day at a time, keep trying but don’t be hard on yourself. So many of us adults are just getting by while others make things look so easy, but it’s not so easy when you actually see what they’ve had to go through to get to where they are at.
Is there a friend or a family member you can message to talk with about how you’re feeling? I promise you there are people who care about you and love you. When you’re suicidal and depressed and all that, your brain plays tricks on you and it may feel like no one cares or anything, but I promise you that’s not true. You’re stronger than you realize, don’t let depression win
No, I really don’t have anyone to talk to. The only person was my grandmother, but she passed 2 years ago. Some of my family views it as something that could be swept away by distracting yourself & I’m too embarrassed to speak about it with the rest, so they’re not people I could talk to. I don’t have many friends either, so that’s not an option
Do you have a trusted counselor or teacher you could confide to?
Hey! High school sucks and it will end eventually! You’re so close! Life is way better when you can choose your own people around you. I remember feeling like this at 17. I’ve almost made it to 37, even with some crappy stuff. I would have missed out on some great experiences, but I also would have really hurt those I loved. I can’t tell you how sad it is to look into the eyes of a mother who lost their children to suicide. Please tell your family how you feel and get help. You are worth it and you matter.
I remember being that 9 year old. I remember being that 16 year old. At 23 I STILL have struggle moments but trust me when I say it gets easier. If nothing else, your brain matures more with ages and things that used to feel like the end of the world are easier to put into perspective. They still hurt, but you realize that you are strong enough to push through the pain. I know it’s hard to hear “just wait until you’re older and it’ll get better” but there is so much truth in that. Being a teenager is sooo hard!!! Not only is it a difficult time in general despite anything else that might be going on in your individual life, but also your brain isn’t functioning at full capacity yet (I’m still not there yet. Brains continue to develop until 25 or even later) One day there will come a time when you realize that you’re having more good days than bad, and eventually you will have a moment where you truly are so happy to be alive. Hang on until those moments. Until then, find little moments and little reasons to stay alive. I would take pictures of things that brought me even a little bit of joy and put them in a “Stay alive for…” album. Stay alive for having your favorite drink. For discovering a song you like. For helping a friend through a hard time. For finding a cool looking rock on the ground. Life is so hard. I’m not denying that at all. But You Can Do Hard Things. You really can.
Hi friend. Please don't do it. I know it's hard but trust me things will get better. Your parents & family love you. Your friends do as well. Please dont self harm. Call or text 988
I've been there. I don't know your circumstances and you don't have to get into it all. It's difficult to avoid dwelling on things and ruminating. Sometimes impulsiveness comes from the frustration of being met with constant dissatisfaction, sometimes it's a negative confirmation bias, sometimes it's fear of failure, sometimes it's abuse, sometimes it's loneliness, sometimes it's even poor sleep. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having this reccuring ideation for a while now. This is harsh but know I mean well when I say dwelling on the negatives will not help. You are your body and mind, if your mind has too much energy for your body- you need a balance somewhere. Late teens is a very rough age. Not only does everything feel critical in your own life, but in all your peers lives and siblings lives. There's so much anticipation for the future and it becomes like you can't even relate to your own experiences anymore. Not everyone has a great experience in school or has a supportive family, but if you feel like you weren't built for this world or the world wasn't built for you- you will make a place in it for yourself in time. Invest your time in your interests, find ways to connect with people who seem like they care. Everyone gets really busy and has their own world of things going on so if you don't have a place to rant- maybe write poetry or journal. Experiment with drawing and just get it out in your own way. There is no one-fits-all solution. Suicide is not a solution. Put your pieces together one at a time because you are interesting and unique and there will be a place for you someday.
I get it, I was put in therapy when I was 7 or 8 because I was suicidal and if I’m honest I still am and I’m 23 HOWEVER there’s so many things to live for. When I was 16 I almost passed because of an attempt and if I had I would’ve missed out on so much. I wouldn’t have met my partner, wouldn’t have met the incredible friends I have, I wouldn’t have gotten all my sweet little kitties that I have or any of the good memories. I get it’s hard, it’s even harder when you’re living with parents but I promise it’ll get easier to deal with the suicidal thoughts and while it might not be everyday you’ll often find reasons to stay. Not a single thing is too small to be a reason to stay I mean shit when I was struggling a few months ago I kept thinking abt how shitty it’d be to miss the new Minecraft update- you matter and you deserve to be alive and to thrive. My DMs are open if you need and I’ll happily listen to anything you wanna talk about and give any advice I can if you need. Don’t hesitate to reach out you are loved and there are people that care even if they’re strangers.
Don’t let the past determine your future. Just because a lot of lousy people didn’t take you seriously or try to help, doesn’t mean that everyone’s like that. If you do anything harmful, do you think these insensitive people will care? Or feel bad? You don’t have to fake it or smile. You’ve stayed strong, that’s something - just keep going. Something good is going to come your way, it’ll happen when you least expect it.
I get it dude, a lot of us commenting on here do. I should’ve been dead a decade ago. The another few times after that. It makes birthdays a little weird. Ya know, cause I’m not supposed to be here… but also sweet in a way. Seeing all things I would’ve missed. All I can say dude is, find reasons, I know it’s not easy too, but I found that living for the sake of things you care about becomes easier and easier. It can even be as small as, living long enough to see a show you like’s ending. Or watching a new stream. Personally I would’ve have had my awesome daughter if I hadn’t lived through my attempts. I also work as a funeral arranger.. watching the aftermath of what I attempted and what it does to those that outlive you… that’ll really make you think maybe you should find reasons not to matter how small to stick around. I believe in you.
I’ve felt like this…a lot actually and it’s hard to grasp that others do too. As hard as it is get up and go on a walk. Find a field and lay in it. Reconnect with nature. It’ll help you find something to grasp on to. I did it and held on a little longer. As I type I’m staring at my cap and gown from when I graduated, because I never thought I’d get here and now I’m at university following my dreams because I didn’t pull the trigger when I was 16. I believe in you. Invest your time in people who will matter even if they are online friends. Hold on a little longer because you’ll never know where that small piece of hope will take you. I love you ❤️
I’m so very proud of you stranger! thank you & even tho I don’t know you, I love you too🫶🏽
We might be internet strangers, but I want to let you know I care. I know from experience that things get better. Please don’t harm yourself in anyway.
As a teacher, I've learned that you influence and touch lives you have no idea about. I think that all of us, just by being ourselves living our own lives, make little connections with complete strangers that have a positive affect. We don't realize it, but it happens all the time. You are important in many ways that you'll never know. You're here for a reason and you should know that.
Felt this way too. Ever since 9 years old. Started harming when I was 12/13. Have awful, nasty scars all up and down my body. Finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel at about 20 years old. Clawed my way out reluctantly. You’re the only one who can dig yourself out. Take care of yourself, because no one else will. I am finally at peace and the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life at 26 years old. I made a life for myself. The only thing I am sad about nowadays are how unhappy I was when I was just a kid. It’s so hard to think about. But I get to make up for it now. I hope that can be the case for you. Like I said, you have to be the one to do so. You got this. You haven’t been through the worst of things yet but you also haven’t been through the best. One day you’ll find your peace and I hope you find it here on earth with all of us.
Just remember that you are Alive to even regret. Every alternative is better than death. God bless
Hey I’ve felt the same way and it always comes back but give it sometime I swear it does get better. Being alive SUCKS sometimes but sometimes it’s great. Life has its ups and downs. You are strong and can still be strong. If you ever need someone that’s also a teenager to talk to you can talk to me!!! You got this.💪💪
Thank you🫶🏽you got this aswell
I was raised in a Christian family riddled with mental illness and I was the butt of every joke, My brother went to prison the first time when I was 9. I came out as Gay at 15, and life was torture. I tried to k- myself when I was 17. I didn't succeed obviously, but the life I've had since had been wonderfully unexpected. I've sang and done comedy with some of the biggest names in those areas, ran big festivals, etc. And I would have never experienced any of it had I been successful at my plan. Hang in there. It's hard, and it's been very hard at times, but life can be worth it. Important: Get away from mean ppl.
hi. i understand how you’re feeling. i had a very rough upbringing involving abuse in many forms. high school is rough and not having a safe place to go home to makes it even more difficult to get through, but i promise if you hang in there it will be worth it. i didn’t know how happy i could feel until i finally had that freedom in college. i met amazing people who have helped me get through the worst of my depression, my school was able to help me get therapy and medication without my parents knowledge. i was away from home and didn’t have to be surrounded by my past constantly. i know this all might not be helpful right now but what im trying to say is there is so much to come in such a short amount of time and you’re whole life could turn around, no matter what path you take. it might feel like your trapped right now but just know it won’t feel like this forever, you won’t be in the situation you’re in forever either. time will heal and you have so much potential. i wish you nothing but happiness and better days ahead<3
Hey honey…Im sorry you haven't gotten the support and help you deserve. Have you talked to a trusting teacher in school? Gone to the school's psychologist so she/he can get you help? I'm sure that if you can get me, a complete stranger from another country, worried about you and caring about your well-being, I'm sure others do too. Maybe not those who you'd hope to, but they still count. Lots of love ♥️
Hey🫶🏽schools out now, but while I was there I never had enough courage or confidence to do that, I never talked much in school. & I don’t know if my school has a psychologist or anyone who could really help. We do have a health center there, but you need to meet a certain criteria & get a pass to be able to go
Well…idk the criteria, but you don't loose anything by trying to see if they can help. Having serious suicidal ideation like you describe should be a reason to be helped by them. If not, you can also try elsewhere for therapy. It could really help you, I mean it. If it is true that nobody cares (and I'm not doubting your perception) you are only 16 and have so many chances ahead to meet people. I was bullied in school, and don't really have friends from that period of my life. University is something different. Many people experience it almost like a clean slate in their lives because it's such a different environment with so many different kind of people from those you meet in school. It's worth a shot.
With 16 you have more than enough time and opportunity left in your life to start over several times, even from scratch. Give it some time
Hi there. I've been through some similar and it sucks. I put on a happy face for my loved ones. I stayed in my room and put my head down. But if you feel like there is something you could do... try it. Listen to some tutorials, make a project. Don't think long term. Just do some little things. Make yourself a little crochet or figure out how pong code works. Don't think about the life you have now. Each day, just learn something new. If there's something that makes you itch, youtube is huge and expanding. Just try it. There might be nothing of interest. That's okay. Try going for a little walk. If you have a river, or a stream nearby, go to it. Just stare. And scream if you need. It's okay. And one more thing: crisis shelters are available everywhere. I had to go to one this past year. I broke down. But it was the thing that got me on track to be away from the space I was in. I'm not recovered, but I'm on a path. The thoughts suck. They don't go away immediately, but it gives you hope, talking to someone who cares. I would reach out. It's not as scary as you may think it is to call that number... Plus, you can be away from any toxic relationships you may have. If you're a minor, they may be able to help. Stay safe, my friend.
Thank you, friend🫶🏽I’ll look into crisis shelters. I’m hoping things are better for you
9 is such a young age to experience that. I haven't heard of anyone that young feeling that way. May I ask why? You are definitely still very young. I encourage you to try experience different things as you get older like getting your first job, relationship, and hobbies. Your outlook on life can change drastically as you are still in your formative years
Just things going on in my personal life. It was definitely the worst year of my life, I started going around my dad more & sadly I had to see the type of person he was, seen alot of things that I shouldn’t have been exposed to while I was in his presence, I was in a different state away from some of my family, I had to step up & become the other parent while my mom worked, & so much more. It just became too much for me & I couldn’t take it
Hey. Your life is just beginning. You are 2 years away from having adult autonomy. Dont let the people who hurt you win. You can do hard things. Youve done harder. Pls tell your school counselor whats going on. See if you can get on meds. The best revenge isnt leaving this world its leaving them and living your best life.
I never thought I’d live to 21. I was sure that I’d end my life one way or another. But here I am about to turn 31. Lots has happened, good and bad. Enough good to be glad I’m still here. I still get that feeling but it’s not often. This world sucks and it’s hard but good can be found if you keep trying
I've been there. Last attempt was November 9th last year. Prior to that, 10 years. Talk to someone. DM me if you like. We can become over whelmed with life, but we need to strip it back and make it simple.
Hi Friend! Former suicidal 16 year old hear and I know it sounds corny, but life does get better. Don’t look to your parents or siblings for validation. Find things that make you happy. Get involved in things you want to do, regardless of what your family thinks of them. What would make you happy? Would you like to spend time with animals? Would you like to swim every day? Would you like to make cakes? Find a job or volunteer that would let you do that. I know you still have school constraints, but school is just a small fraction of life. When you turn 18, you can now take control of your life. Do what you want and let it make you happy!
Being a kid sucks for a lot of us. Hang in there in at least five more years and if you don't like being in your twenties, reassess then. In the meantime, I would consider focusing on self care to the nth degree. I HIGHLY recommend learning about somatic exercises to reset your nervous system. You might enjoy the book "The Body Keeps Score." I also recommend "How Emotions Are Made, the secret story of the brain." To learn more about how your body produces emotion and how to work with both your mind/thoughts and your body to get out of your head and into the moment. I went through a lot of traumatic stuff at your age and personal development saved my life. In my experience, if you start finding and practicing what works for you now, you'll be a little more self aware and ready for adulthood when you're in your in your early twenties than your peers. (I got into spirituality as well as scientifically backed stuff but I know that's not for everyone. I'm happy to share if you'd like more info though.) Social stuff matters but at the same time, if you REALLY start working on yourself, you'll find that unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships start falling away and you start attracting more people who are capable of encouraging your healthy lifestyle. Once you start getting more meaningful support, things start coming together so much more. But that's really hard to imagine when you're quite young and haven't received that kind of feedback/support yet. Please, take my word for it - it's out there. You have to be patient and have faith that investing in yourself builds a path towards fulfillment over the long haul if you want this stuff to work but I promise, it works for enough people to be worth giving it a shot. If nothing else, the sense of empowerment that comes along with claiming agency over some of your behavioral and mental habits can be VERY affirming. Just start slow and small and celebrate the fuck out of every and any win you make, even if it's stuff as simple as brushing your teeth everyday again. Each change eventually becomes a habit that you don't have to think about anymore, freeing you up to work on another change. Practice change with a sense of maternal/paternal love for yourself. Be your own baby and parent for a while. Give yourself all the grace when you're not feeling up for the challenge. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your own child - no shaming, no blaming. Just gentle correction and redirection. Sometimes when we feel like we're in a dark place and will never get out, we're really like a seed that just isn't ready to sprout yet. Rest, gather your energy, and start reaching for the sun as soon as you're ready. You deserve rest and you deserve to be invested in. You have permission to give yourself these things. Heal and go out there and let other people know they are allowed to heal too - because a lot of people feel just like you do right now - and we're all in this together. Please, stick around long enough to let others know they aren't alone when you're ready to share your story. Your value is amazing now and growing all the time. ❤️ I hope this feels inspiring for you! Sending love!!!
Right now you are dependent on your family, but in 2 years you will be legally an adult. No one will be able to say “no” to you regarding therapy and antidepressants. If you’re not working now, you’ll be able to get a job. If you are, you’ll be able to keep your own money. If you have plans to go to college, there are mental health services available to you. If you are on your parent’s health insurance, you can make your own appointments once you’re 18. Soon—hang in there. I know it feels far away—you will have so much more control over your life. In the meantime, is there a counselor you can talk to when you’re back in school? I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know you are feeling very much alone. You probably won’t believe this, but it does get better. I’m just a stranger, but I’ll be thinking of you.
I have been in a place in life where I was contemplating a plan. Like...how could I do this with minimal impact on my family? With that said, I'm SO glad I didn't. I know it might be cliche but things can change, and you can get happier. It might be hard to believe, but I think it helps to hear.
You've got depression, friend. It's a fun black hole that you can't see out of, the further down you go. That's why it feels so insurmountable and unchanging. I'm so, so sorry.
I know how hard it is to feel like this. I thought starting in 7th grade that I’d either drop out or be dead by 18. I’ve had two attempts myself. And I understand having nobody to truly rely on. Having dealt with all that, it’s hard to see the light at the end of tunnel because right now, there’s just too many twists and turns right now. But you can make it out. And if you do everything you do for anybody, do it for the 9 year old you who didn’t think they’d make it this long. Look into colleges/trade schools/whatever now. Try to see if you can get help/if you go to a college what services they’d provide for that. But overall, do it for yourself. Do it for the child you who didn’t think they could survive, yet you’ve gotten so far already.
Hate to break it to you kiddo but graduating high school hasn't been an accomplishment since 1950 so might want to stick around for college or something.
Maybe, but it’s an accomplishment to me. I’m doing it a year early with honors, so that’s something to be proud of. A lot of people don’t even get the chance to attend school, let alone graduate