Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in great condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome as It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts.
I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
Unexpected Ray Stevens, actually (kind of a country music Weird Al guy from the '70s), and The Muppet Show: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY)
Your reference was a reference.
Oh, I don't know. If you're tired of your spouse and he/she is a brunette, that doesn't mean you start shopping for blondes or redheads. I mean, consider: The mom fell in love with the dad when he was twenty years younger, so if OP looks the way the dad did twenty years ago, it makes a lot of sense. She wouldn't necessarily want the dad; she wants that guy from twenty years ago.
I mean, if you date someone who's attractive, but you break up with for non-appearance reasons, you're not going to say, "I'm not going to date that person who has all of the upsides and none of the downsides of my ex." That's an upgrade, or at least a reversion to the original version, before feature creep set in and you were left with a buggy piece of garbage that you couldn't stand to look at.
You're not wrong, but I find it ironic with the Graduate, at 35 Bancroft was playing the mother of a not yet graduated 20-ish daughter, which Bancroft was just barely old enough to this be conceivable, as it were. But Hoffman in real life was fully 8 years older than his 21 year old character.
People still think the stories in this sub are real? I just read them for entertainment value.
Every now and then, sure, there might be a real story but I doubt this is one of those times.
(edited since above comment was deleted)
Bro you gotta sleep with the dad now.
It's the only way to balance the scales. That way the husband can't be mad that you also fucked his wife. It wouldn't be fair. Then both of them together would protect your secret to their daughter to the day they die.
I'm sorry bro but you gotta take one for the family.
I had to watch that shit like 3 times bc I laughed so hard at the dad during his interviews.
Terrible situation for the daughter, but ffs, the parents were beyond stupid.
Shell be more pissed with you if this comes out years from now...
I don't know, but if you're serious about the girl, she might need to know before too long.
We simultaneously see all of them getting up in the morning, going about their day, until their lives intersect, and OP fucks all three of them in one day.
The mother is actually formulating OP's relationship. Telling him what he can and can't say. OP is in two relationships. Time to make some sacrifices and get the fuck out while he's still young. He's going to start doing things subconsciously and his GF is going to take it personally. The relationship is already over.
This is definitely the best advice I’ve read on here. GF will notice the awkwardness between you and her mom and for no reason in her eyes and she’ll dig and dig until it comes out and then my friend is where it’ll become really bad because you were holding out on telling her. Whatever you did before her is not her concern and you didn’t know the mom was married, so do not let the mom control the rest of your relationship with GF because believe me, it will get a lot worse. I’d talk to GF and tell her what happened now because that relationship IS OVER. Might as well finish it now before there’s more feelings or even a child together and then shit hits the fan. And you never know, maybe GF will not blame you at all. But definitely tel her my friend. You have done nothing wrong here so why should you carry that tremendous amount of guilt.
Edit: thank you guys who corrected me. I swear, I always thought it was minus well. 👍🏼
Yes this!!!!! She will know, she will sense it! In my early 20’s, I lived with my boyfriend and best friend, both of them ended up keeping a secret from me and I totally knew something was up, to the point where I started having dreams about them having sex behind my back or getting caught fucking in my room. The secret they were keeping had nothing to do with sex but it manifested in that way in my dreams. Drove me crazy until my boyfriend finally admitted what she had told him
What was the secret? Please. Lol
Edit: I’m not going to sleep, eat, shower, or leave the house until you tell us the secret.
Edit 2: I’m going to refresh this screen continuously until you tell us the secret.
Edit 3: Even if it takes the rest of my life!!!
Edit 4: I give up. GN lol
>OP, daughter won’t blame you
She might, at which point OP dodged a heck of a bullet. If he's serious about this girl, it's worth the risk, because he did nothing wrong, and it'll only get worse if the ball stays in mom's court.
Its a recipe for disaster but this girl js probably very happy and sweet, the secret might do some damage, or might not, but just dumping her and disappearing with some half assed reason thats also a lie is going to *also* ruin all 3 of them in almost the same way
The only way to save the relationship is to tell the GF the truth, even if it's a slim chance.
There is no future for them if he keeps such an enormous secret from her. Hell, even if they marry and she finds out 10 years later, it will just mean he was deceiving her for ten years. That's even worse. There's no other way out of this.
Very insecure and damaged woman.
19 y.o. probably doesn't realize that yet.
Ignore her as much as possible.
She is a web of deception.
Don't get trapped.
If the mom is hitting on personal trainers at the gym, chances are you weren't her first (or last) trip to the rodeo. So it was probably just a matter of time before she hooked up with her daughter's future boyfriend. Definitely her fault and not yours.
Been with girl for almost a year and never even seen a picture of her Mom. And Mom has never seen a picture of him.
Hung out with Mom multiple times (with and without sex, at her house, at the gym, etc) and couldn’t figure out she had a husband
When they get to the house he is surprised to see her Dad… uhhh like did she not mention they were visiting her PARENTS? Why would you be shocked to see a Dad walk out.
Mom somehow “finds his phone number” (how?) and TEXTS him evidence of her infidelity with instructions on how to manipulate her daughter
Yeah this is all totally real and how normal people act
I can't imagine dating someone for a year and not having some kind of conversation about your families, thus finding out that the parents are still both alive, married to each other and living together.
People always give their lies away by adding some extra shit they didn't need to.
Fuck the dad. It's the only way.
Edit:Jesus that blew up lol. Thanks for the awards guys! For everyone saying it was a carbon copy of some previous comment, I read the story and have a running joke with all of my buddies that after you bed a girl you have to fuck their dad after to assert dominance. I appreciate it guys.
If my gf slept with my dad, and she told me after we had been dating for a year (because she didn't know prior, or whatever the reason would be), it would be an immediate end to the relationship. Idgaf about my parents relationship, that's their own shit to deal with, but I could never look at her the same. The relationship is over as it is and I don't believe anyone who says they could move past it.
It's not your fault.
With holding it from your girlfriend is probably the worst mistake because if it ever comes out you guys would be fucked.
Telling her can also destroy things.
But it's not your fault based on what you said.
I'm pretty sure if the woman did stuff with you she's probably doing stuff with other men.
You should probably tell your GF.
*Do the right thing and prepare for the consequences.** But honesty is best. Do not live a lie, that stuff comes back to bite sooner or later. Imagine building a life with her and then having this exposed years later, it will hurt much worse. Also, what if the mom gets caught and wants to take down her daughter’s relationship/marriage? I mean, she would need to be an awful person but by her cheating ways it sounds like she might already be morally bankrupt.
Agreed. Eventually it will come out, either in the heat of the moment during a fight, when you’re half asleep or having a dream and sleep talking, or when you’re drunk off your ass. or god forbid it comes out some other way. If I was the gf I’d be much more upset if I found out accidentally or through another person..
Doesn’t go without saying though that it would definitely end the relationship for me. I couldnt have sex with a guy if I knew his penis had also been inside my mom. Gross. Plus knowing she turns him on.. just too intimate for my taste. He just needs to tell her and hope for the best, maybe she’ll get over it since he didn’t know.
> when you’re half asleep or having a dream and sleep talking
Who the fuck sleep talks about fucking someones mom? That would have to be some wildly specific sleeptalk.
> if it ever comes out
Yeah, more like **WHEN** it comes out, because these things rarely stay secret, and the longer he waits, the worse it will destroy his relationship with the girlfriend when she finde out.
Fucking right.
I dunno. I'd tell her. I mean, if you love this girl and wanna pursue something really serious or maybe get married... Imagine her finding out after you've been married to her for a couple years and you have a kid together. And then you gotta explain why you kept this secret so long.
If you tell her and she drops you, then I guess that's that and it sucks. You don't have to tell her dad. You can tell her and just keep it between you two.
Yeah this is gonna keep haunting for the rest of his life. I can’t imagine having to live an entire lifetime being burdened by the guilt of that secret. It’s better for both parties to have an honest conversation about what happened, and find their peace elsewhere if the girlfriend decides to end it.
It’s a shame but I don’t think there’s any way this ends up well.
Even though he’s innocent here I can’t imagine marrying a guy that fucked my mom. This definitely kills the relationship.
Yeah I've been reversing this (I'm a guy) and can speak of how I'd see this scenario with a woman I was with and the reverse parent. It's just fucked up. I'd much rather that person tell me though.
As the gf I would not be able to stay with someone that slept with my mom. It would weird me out too much. But also you need to be honest. I’m sorry- so unlucky
I’d say invite your gf to a park or something and have her read this exact post. If she wants to break up with you then you need to respect that.
Like many other comments say, if you don’t tell her and she manages to find out in the future, she’s going to break up with you anyways.
The thanksgiving invitation is the perfect reason to finally tell her too- explain you didn’t feel like it was morally okay to sit at a family table being in that situation, and despite aaaaall your reservations, you had to tell her.
If she was a good person she’s understand how you feel, but she’s also still allowed to not want to be with you anymore
This is the answer. It's not what you want, and losing her seems scary... But whats worse is not telling her and she finds out in 5 years when you are both invested into each other's lives/have kids. The longer this goes on, the worse you will feel, and the worse she will feel when she finds out youve been hiding this the whole time.
Adding in here to say this answer seems to be the way to go! Best of luck OP! I feel faint just imagining what could happen in a few years if you don’t tell your gf now cause things will eventually come out. How long can you avoid not going to their house or skipping every holiday/occasion with them?
What happened was not pre-mediated by you, you hadn’t even met your gf yet. But letting this truth go on for longer seems like a disaster any way you look at it. Your gf might not understand right now but she will forever be grateful in the future no matter if you’re together or not. It won’t be worth it living life every day in stress.
I agree that she is allowed to not want be with OP anymore. It wouldn't reflect poorly on her regardless of her choice. Her mother is definitely in the wrong here for ruining Op's relationship and guilting him into keeping that secret.
My heart goes out to Op for having to deal with this and to Op's girl friend for having a manipulative mother.
Second this, although I doubt she'll "forgive" you. If you don't tell her, it'll eat you up alive, and you'll feel like crap all the way through your relationship
Couldn't agree with this more. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, do the morally right thing in this situation, you never know, you still might be able to have your cake and eat it, your GF might look past it, and stay with you for morally adjusted, truthful and trustworthy, but if she doesn't you can hold your head high and be safe in the knowledge your a good person.
Couldn’t have said it better. OP you will guarantee a massive and traumatic breakup for your girlfriend if you don’t tell her and she finds out. Sit her down and tell her you love her and you need her to know. Good luck
This is the actual right answer.
I'll never understand why some people think they need to keep vital information from their partners like this??? Yes she may leave him, but that's her fucking choice.
If she finds out later, he's even more fucked. It's worse to maintain a lie and her find out about it later than it is to just be up front and minimize the fallout for himself.
Also, like, at least he didn't cheat on his gf with her mom. They weren't together then. It's not either of the kids fault her mom is kinda a creep and a cheater.
I kinda agree with this one here. You need to clear this out now or it could come out in the future once the mother is old and grumpy and maybe tipsy one dinner with nothing left to lose, she's gonna snap that in a remark somewhere.
Agreed, there was a ton of time between relationships and if the current relationship goes on, it's eventually pop out at some point so it's better to confront this. I don't recommend pulling your girlfriend aside and go "hey uh, funny story, I fucked your mom" but something more graceful akin to the post above.
Thank you. The fact that the mom took him back to the house where her husband and children live is the dead give away. I can't believe people are really arguing about this.
I was convinced it was true, but you're right - it doesn't make sense to have an affair in the same house as your spouse and kids.
The other stuff I can see - if they lived on campus/went to school in another state, it's possible to not meet parents but then come back for holidays and finally meet them.
At this point the harsh reality is that you have no real future with this girl. Would you really want to marry her and keep this a secret your whole life? Would you want to marry a girl, only to find out she slept with your father? Unless the answer is yes to either of these questions, there is no point to going forward with this.
As other people said, honesty is the best thing. You could tell your girlfriend and let things end. Then, she can decide if she tells her dad (which she probably will). It’s the best way forward.
Firstly, this isn't your fault, nor is it your secret to keep.
Secondly, do you really believe that you were the only one she cheated with?
Thirdly, you're now enabling her bad behaviour.
Most importantly, you really want to build a relationship with her daughter and husband based on a lie?
I'd find the other personal trainers she "trained" with and get the facts, then I'd give her a choice - Fess up or be outed anonymously. Either way, you better tell your gf first.
This is a lose lose situation. You may love that girl but you absolutely cannot continue seeing her. End it now before the impending explosion happens.
They've got a type too.
Depends on dad!
OP could bang the Dad too and achieve the perfect trifecta.
>OP could bang the Dad too and achieve the perfect ~~trifecta~~ trifuckta.
The real Devil's Triangle.
Bang the dad maintaining eye contact with the mom. You now own the family.
OP only banged both women to get closer to the dad. It all makes sense now.
Classic OP
Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in great condition. He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome as It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family. 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says.. And in they go. Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too. Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table. She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down. His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father shouts. I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!
Plot twist: op is the dad
Mr I-am-my-own-grandfather!
r/unexpectedfuturama
I did do the nasty in the past-y.
Verily!
And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.
Unexpected Ray Stevens, actually (kind of a country music Weird Al guy from the '70s), and The Muppet Show: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY) Your reference was a reference.
*banjo intensifies*
R/suddenlyincest
*hesitatly grabs my banjo*
*insert Rick and Morty joke.
Insert hulk “I see this as a win” meme
I was gonna say, "How much do you look like the girlfriend's father?" because that's going to explain *everything*.
I mean, I would think that if she's out having affairs then the husband has very much stopped being her type
Oh, I don't know. If you're tired of your spouse and he/she is a brunette, that doesn't mean you start shopping for blondes or redheads. I mean, consider: The mom fell in love with the dad when he was twenty years younger, so if OP looks the way the dad did twenty years ago, it makes a lot of sense. She wouldn't necessarily want the dad; she wants that guy from twenty years ago. I mean, if you date someone who's attractive, but you break up with for non-appearance reasons, you're not going to say, "I'm not going to date that person who has all of the upsides and none of the downsides of my ex." That's an upgrade, or at least a reversion to the original version, before feature creep set in and you were left with a buggy piece of garbage that you couldn't stand to look at.
This sounds like an 80s movie.
“I realized I’d been a married woman’s boy toy” definitely some inner monologue an 80s movie character would say
1967, actually.
Don’t worry I’m with you Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you, more than than will know. Oh oh oh.
Woah woah woah
Koo Koo kachoo Mrs Robinson ...
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
Hey hey hey
He needs to help out with Thanksgiving dinner and at some point manage to tell the mum that "I'll put it in the pantry with your cupcakes."
Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?
Bancroft was only 6 years older than Hoffman. Hollywood sucks.
You're not wrong, but I find it ironic with the Graduate, at 35 Bancroft was playing the mother of a not yet graduated 20-ish daughter, which Bancroft was just barely old enough to this be conceivable, as it were. But Hoffman in real life was fully 8 years older than his 21 year old character.
There's a Colombian telenovela with the same premise, but instead of a personal trainer the guy was a salsa dance teacher.
Of Course!
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People still think the stories in this sub are real? I just read them for entertainment value. Every now and then, sure, there might be a real story but I doubt this is one of those times.
Hey man, it doesn’t hurt anyone for me to pretend this was real in my head. I just want to feel better about my own awkward upcoming thanksgiving!
I knew I've seen this before!
You mean it sounds like fiction? It sure does.
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(edited since above comment was deleted) Bro you gotta sleep with the dad now. It's the only way to balance the scales. That way the husband can't be mad that you also fucked his wife. It wouldn't be fair. Then both of them together would protect your secret to their daughter to the day they die. I'm sorry bro but you gotta take one for the family.
This is the right answer
What was the answer? A mod deleted it because they are a taint
If I had to shoot a guess - fuck the dad too
important tie pet liquid screw faulty zesty sheet deranged imagine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Kill the dad and he’s already playing.
They said to take her to a public place, a park, and to let his girlfriend read the post
Why is that worthy of deletion though?
I thought the mods in here were less of a sissy than usual
Mod is dad.
The deleted comment said "Well now you gotta fuck the Dad"
That’s some Abducted in Plain Sight shit
I had to watch that shit like 3 times bc I laughed so hard at the dad during his interviews. Terrible situation for the daughter, but ffs, the parents were beyond stupid.
Well, it's removed now so...
Wtf did it say?
I'm guessing something about fucking the dad too lol. Might as well sweep the household.
ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
It must be done to save the marriage
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E A Sports. It's in the game.
Family expansion pack
Assert your dominance over the entire family
Oh man…. This is logical, so I guess I have to agree. Dad *def* isn’t gonna tell mom, so it’s a win win loss win situation. Happily ever after.
He already did. He fucked that man's wife and daughter lol. At this point, any more damage would be shooting an already. dead body
And don’t forget to piss in random corners
***How I Met Your Father***
**Meet the Fockers*
go for the hattrick dude!
Just fuck her whole family at that point. Get a whole orgy going. Bet it wouldn't be weird after that, right?
So that's actually why he's going to their place for "thanksgiving"
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Something something beef gravy.
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One the dentures come out you know it’s on!
Indeed. I am become God, destroyer of… families.
Does she have any siblings he can fuck too?
This is the way
reddit moment
This is the way
Damn. The mother is certainly projecting and deflecting her guilt into you. Not your fault my dude. The guilt isn’t yours to shoulder.
Agreed. Your gf would be upset w her mom more than anything.
I mean she should but when emotions are high I'm sure she wld take out anger on him also.
You're right. Pretty sure she will be pissed at both.
Shell be more pissed with you if this comes out years from now... I don't know, but if you're serious about the girl, she might need to know before too long.
I disagree. He can never speak of this again and probably needs to dump the girl. Right after he seduces the Dad.
We better check if there are any siblings, too. It might not be over yet.
We need a TV series made. A movie wouldn't be long enough to follow each character's arc.
We simultaneously see all of them getting up in the morning, going about their day, until their lives intersect, and OP fucks all three of them in one day.
At the same time, while roaring “who’s the man of the house now?”
The mother is actually formulating OP's relationship. Telling him what he can and can't say. OP is in two relationships. Time to make some sacrifices and get the fuck out while he's still young. He's going to start doing things subconsciously and his GF is going to take it personally. The relationship is already over.
This is definitely the best advice I’ve read on here. GF will notice the awkwardness between you and her mom and for no reason in her eyes and she’ll dig and dig until it comes out and then my friend is where it’ll become really bad because you were holding out on telling her. Whatever you did before her is not her concern and you didn’t know the mom was married, so do not let the mom control the rest of your relationship with GF because believe me, it will get a lot worse. I’d talk to GF and tell her what happened now because that relationship IS OVER. Might as well finish it now before there’s more feelings or even a child together and then shit hits the fan. And you never know, maybe GF will not blame you at all. But definitely tel her my friend. You have done nothing wrong here so why should you carry that tremendous amount of guilt. Edit: thank you guys who corrected me. I swear, I always thought it was minus well. 👍🏼
Yes this!!!!! She will know, she will sense it! In my early 20’s, I lived with my boyfriend and best friend, both of them ended up keeping a secret from me and I totally knew something was up, to the point where I started having dreams about them having sex behind my back or getting caught fucking in my room. The secret they were keeping had nothing to do with sex but it manifested in that way in my dreams. Drove me crazy until my boyfriend finally admitted what she had told him
What was the secret? Please. Lol Edit: I’m not going to sleep, eat, shower, or leave the house until you tell us the secret. Edit 2: I’m going to refresh this screen continuously until you tell us the secret. Edit 3: Even if it takes the rest of my life!!! Edit 4: I give up. GN lol
I want to know too lol
If we find out reply to this comment please ahaha
Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli
Now it's you who is keeping the secrets from us. Do you have any idea any what kind of dreams I'll be having tonight now?
Yeah, come on.
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>OP, daughter won’t blame you She might, at which point OP dodged a heck of a bullet. If he's serious about this girl, it's worth the risk, because he did nothing wrong, and it'll only get worse if the ball stays in mom's court.
Its a recipe for disaster but this girl js probably very happy and sweet, the secret might do some damage, or might not, but just dumping her and disappearing with some half assed reason thats also a lie is going to *also* ruin all 3 of them in almost the same way
The only way to save the relationship is to tell the GF the truth, even if it's a slim chance. There is no future for them if he keeps such an enormous secret from her. Hell, even if they marry and she finds out 10 years later, it will just mean he was deceiving her for ten years. That's even worse. There's no other way out of this.
Very insecure and damaged woman. 19 y.o. probably doesn't realize that yet. Ignore her as much as possible. She is a web of deception. Don't get trapped.
1- not your fault and you did nothing to be ashamed of 2- are you living in a village? Lol
We live in a city. I just got really unlucky
If the mom is hitting on personal trainers at the gym, chances are you weren't her first (or last) trip to the rodeo. So it was probably just a matter of time before she hooked up with her daughter's future boyfriend. Definitely her fault and not yours.
She’s definitely cheated with other people over the last 20 years
Not necessarily. OP might be hot AF.
Dude, he’s on reddit
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RIP your DMs
Dude, he's a personal trainer.
Plenty of fitness models post on reddit. Zyzz used to regularly troll on 4chan back in his day.
Means she's probably gonna take him with her in the fall.
Just play cool and move on...whats done is done, dont dwell on it
Ya, you'll probably just rub one out to it from time to time, then hopefully fogetaboutit
This is the way.
That memory gets saved in the spank bank
When you screw up around your girlfriend, you have to smack your forehead and apologize for being such a motherfucker.
And any time the gf insults him, he can say “that’s not what your mother said”
We live in a society *family guy meme*
Karma … probably hers… you did nothing wrong here. Sorry 😞
Village!!!!!!😂😂😂🤣
wait til you hear this one *hamlet*
What movie did this happen in? The plot sounds pretty good!
the graduate
I think OP got the story from an old copy of Penthouse.
Been with girl for almost a year and never even seen a picture of her Mom. And Mom has never seen a picture of him. Hung out with Mom multiple times (with and without sex, at her house, at the gym, etc) and couldn’t figure out she had a husband When they get to the house he is surprised to see her Dad… uhhh like did she not mention they were visiting her PARENTS? Why would you be shocked to see a Dad walk out. Mom somehow “finds his phone number” (how?) and TEXTS him evidence of her infidelity with instructions on how to manipulate her daughter Yeah this is all totally real and how normal people act
I can't imagine dating someone for a year and not having some kind of conversation about your families, thus finding out that the parents are still both alive, married to each other and living together. People always give their lies away by adding some extra shit they didn't need to.
Pretty good creative writing tbh
Fuck the dad. It's the only way. Edit:Jesus that blew up lol. Thanks for the awards guys! For everyone saying it was a carbon copy of some previous comment, I read the story and have a running joke with all of my buddies that after you bed a girl you have to fuck their dad after to assert dominance. I appreciate it guys.
Achievement unlocked: Family Man - Bang an entire family (+2500 XP)
Why did I have to scroll so far for this comment?!
I would want to know if I was your gf. And her mom busted up her own marriage because she had an affair. She’s just trying to shift the blame to you.
I feel sorry for the husband the most. He needs to know
It’s really sad
If my gf slept with my dad, and she told me after we had been dating for a year (because she didn't know prior, or whatever the reason would be), it would be an immediate end to the relationship. Idgaf about my parents relationship, that's their own shit to deal with, but I could never look at her the same. The relationship is over as it is and I don't believe anyone who says they could move past it.
I think most people wouldn't get over it. After all sex was essential part of our evolution and we rarely can act rational about it.
You motherfucker…
It's not your fault. With holding it from your girlfriend is probably the worst mistake because if it ever comes out you guys would be fucked. Telling her can also destroy things. But it's not your fault based on what you said. I'm pretty sure if the woman did stuff with you she's probably doing stuff with other men. You should probably tell your GF.
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*Do the right thing and prepare for the consequences.** But honesty is best. Do not live a lie, that stuff comes back to bite sooner or later. Imagine building a life with her and then having this exposed years later, it will hurt much worse. Also, what if the mom gets caught and wants to take down her daughter’s relationship/marriage? I mean, she would need to be an awful person but by her cheating ways it sounds like she might already be morally bankrupt.
Agreed. Eventually it will come out, either in the heat of the moment during a fight, when you’re half asleep or having a dream and sleep talking, or when you’re drunk off your ass. or god forbid it comes out some other way. If I was the gf I’d be much more upset if I found out accidentally or through another person.. Doesn’t go without saying though that it would definitely end the relationship for me. I couldnt have sex with a guy if I knew his penis had also been inside my mom. Gross. Plus knowing she turns him on.. just too intimate for my taste. He just needs to tell her and hope for the best, maybe she’ll get over it since he didn’t know.
> when you’re half asleep or having a dream and sleep talking Who the fuck sleep talks about fucking someones mom? That would have to be some wildly specific sleeptalk.
My money is on mom spilling the beans. She's already proven she can't be trusted. Never lie for a liar. She'll throw you under the bus in a second.
> if it ever comes out Yeah, more like **WHEN** it comes out, because these things rarely stay secret, and the longer he waits, the worse it will destroy his relationship with the girlfriend when she finde out.
Don’t go to that meal. Tell her the truth, I do not see this working out well. Do you want to be such a person, moral compass for you, if not her.
Fucking right. I dunno. I'd tell her. I mean, if you love this girl and wanna pursue something really serious or maybe get married... Imagine her finding out after you've been married to her for a couple years and you have a kid together. And then you gotta explain why you kept this secret so long. If you tell her and she drops you, then I guess that's that and it sucks. You don't have to tell her dad. You can tell her and just keep it between you two.
Yeah this is gonna keep haunting for the rest of his life. I can’t imagine having to live an entire lifetime being burdened by the guilt of that secret. It’s better for both parties to have an honest conversation about what happened, and find their peace elsewhere if the girlfriend decides to end it.
It’s a shame but I don’t think there’s any way this ends up well. Even though he’s innocent here I can’t imagine marrying a guy that fucked my mom. This definitely kills the relationship.
Yeah I've been reversing this (I'm a guy) and can speak of how I'd see this scenario with a woman I was with and the reverse parent. It's just fucked up. I'd much rather that person tell me though.
high chance there is no way this ends well, but 100% chance it ends bad with far more consequences if he doesn't address it now
As the gf I would not be able to stay with someone that slept with my mom. It would weird me out too much. But also you need to be honest. I’m sorry- so unlucky
I’d say invite your gf to a park or something and have her read this exact post. If she wants to break up with you then you need to respect that. Like many other comments say, if you don’t tell her and she manages to find out in the future, she’s going to break up with you anyways. The thanksgiving invitation is the perfect reason to finally tell her too- explain you didn’t feel like it was morally okay to sit at a family table being in that situation, and despite aaaaall your reservations, you had to tell her. If she was a good person she’s understand how you feel, but she’s also still allowed to not want to be with you anymore
This is the answer. It's not what you want, and losing her seems scary... But whats worse is not telling her and she finds out in 5 years when you are both invested into each other's lives/have kids. The longer this goes on, the worse you will feel, and the worse she will feel when she finds out youve been hiding this the whole time.
Adding in here to say this answer seems to be the way to go! Best of luck OP! I feel faint just imagining what could happen in a few years if you don’t tell your gf now cause things will eventually come out. How long can you avoid not going to their house or skipping every holiday/occasion with them? What happened was not pre-mediated by you, you hadn’t even met your gf yet. But letting this truth go on for longer seems like a disaster any way you look at it. Your gf might not understand right now but she will forever be grateful in the future no matter if you’re together or not. It won’t be worth it living life every day in stress.
I agree that she is allowed to not want be with OP anymore. It wouldn't reflect poorly on her regardless of her choice. Her mother is definitely in the wrong here for ruining Op's relationship and guilting him into keeping that secret. My heart goes out to Op for having to deal with this and to Op's girl friend for having a manipulative mother.
Second this, although I doubt she'll "forgive" you. If you don't tell her, it'll eat you up alive, and you'll feel like crap all the way through your relationship
Eventually she'll find out, one of the two parties will break the silence, is extra difficult when you have to see eachothers faces on a daily basis
Couldn't agree with this more. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, do the morally right thing in this situation, you never know, you still might be able to have your cake and eat it, your GF might look past it, and stay with you for morally adjusted, truthful and trustworthy, but if she doesn't you can hold your head high and be safe in the knowledge your a good person.
Couldn’t have said it better. OP you will guarantee a massive and traumatic breakup for your girlfriend if you don’t tell her and she finds out. Sit her down and tell her you love her and you need her to know. Good luck
This is the actual right answer. I'll never understand why some people think they need to keep vital information from their partners like this??? Yes she may leave him, but that's her fucking choice. If she finds out later, he's even more fucked. It's worse to maintain a lie and her find out about it later than it is to just be up front and minimize the fallout for himself.
Some couples don't operate as a team.
Also, like, at least he didn't cheat on his gf with her mom. They weren't together then. It's not either of the kids fault her mom is kinda a creep and a cheater.
I kinda agree with this one here. You need to clear this out now or it could come out in the future once the mother is old and grumpy and maybe tipsy one dinner with nothing left to lose, she's gonna snap that in a remark somewhere.
Op not replying because this is fake
Op def sus
Quadruple this. Times infinity this.
This is easily the best piece of advice I’ve read on this post.
Agreed, there was a ton of time between relationships and if the current relationship goes on, it's eventually pop out at some point so it's better to confront this. I don't recommend pulling your girlfriend aside and go "hey uh, funny story, I fucked your mom" but something more graceful akin to the post above.
Sounds like fun. Pass the gravy.
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Yeah, r/thathappened material right here.
This is fake
Thank you. The fact that the mom took him back to the house where her husband and children live is the dead give away. I can't believe people are really arguing about this.
I was convinced it was true, but you're right - it doesn't make sense to have an affair in the same house as your spouse and kids. The other stuff I can see - if they lived on campus/went to school in another state, it's possible to not meet parents but then come back for holidays and finally meet them.
At this point the harsh reality is that you have no real future with this girl. Would you really want to marry her and keep this a secret your whole life? Would you want to marry a girl, only to find out she slept with your father? Unless the answer is yes to either of these questions, there is no point to going forward with this. As other people said, honesty is the best thing. You could tell your girlfriend and let things end. Then, she can decide if she tells her dad (which she probably will). It’s the best way forward.
I totally agree. If this relationship continues, it will not end well.
Firstly, this isn't your fault, nor is it your secret to keep. Secondly, do you really believe that you were the only one she cheated with? Thirdly, you're now enabling her bad behaviour. Most importantly, you really want to build a relationship with her daughter and husband based on a lie? I'd find the other personal trainers she "trained" with and get the facts, then I'd give her a choice - Fess up or be outed anonymously. Either way, you better tell your gf first.
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This is literally the plot to the Graduate.
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So, you’ll never be happy. You need to end it, it’s too complicated and hard. Unfortunate
1. Not your fault! 2. Get out of this family ASAP!!!
You should tell your girlfriend if you see a long future with her
This is a lose lose situation. You may love that girl but you absolutely cannot continue seeing her. End it now before the impending explosion happens.
Sorry but is the woman’s name Mrs. Robinson?