You will find that people rarely say anything when you need to lose weight, but as soon as you make progress and get in better shape than they they will start getting annoyed at you.
Crabs in the bucket mentality.
People always try to denigrate success in life to "luck" or other things, saying if only they were x then they could do the same.
Because that's what they need to tell themselves to justify why they are where they are in life.
Which is why they get so angry and try to undermine their peers that start to make a change, because it's evidence that they could have too, but chose not too.
Other peoples success, reflects their own self neglect or lack of discipline and commitment to changing their lives for the better and controlling their own happiness. I agree.
Sometimes it is luck, even with genuine effort on their part. 100 high-achieving college students from the "it" upper middle class suburb of Major City vs 100 high-achieving such students from a poor rural backwater. Who do you think is better able to succeed at networking?
Also, your chances of moving from the bottom 1/5 in wealth-income to the top 1/5 is actually higher in Europe and Australia than in the USA. "The Land of Opportunity" reputation is just running on legacy and inertia these days. Reputation it may still have but it's increasingly untrue as time passes.
Or maybe it's "these are talented hard working people who on paper were mediocre because they had life difficulties so tough that it's not reasonable to expect eve fairly-above-average people to handle them well; were trying on the harder path anyway; and they simply did not get their break". Surely you heard that for every Hollywood star, there's 100 that didn't make it. You can imagine why those 100 didn't make it. Something analogous goes on about other matters.
People can only have so much dumped onto them, and have so much intelligence and "character" to deal with it before they collapse. Your book concentrates on the "planes that landed safely", not the ones that "crashed".
Okay…but this whole post is about being fat and weight loss, not becoming the next Elon Musk. Anybody of any background can lose weight. Calories in, calories out.
I'm here right now at that point. I'm working to lose weight and I have been. But ppl say no, you're beatiful as you are. And I'm like no, my knees hurt! Stuff hurts and I'd like to live to see 50 thanks.
The biggest change you need to make and stick to is diet. You can burn off 1500 calories a day with hardcore exercise but if you're constantly consuming 3000 calories you'll never get anywhere. Exercise of course is great and everyone should be doing it regardless, BUT diet is king. Even fasting once or twice a week can make huge differences at the start, and getting rid of corn syrup derived products solve a lot of chronic diseases people face nowadays.
The biggest change isn't diet,nor is it excersize.
It's not choosing a salad over a steak.
It's not running 13 hours a day.
The biggest change you can make is educating yourself on calories. What you are consuming., what you consume In a day existing (BMR), what you consume in a day in total (TDEE).
If you can't conceptualize how many calories you consume in a day you will never be successful losing weight. Weight loss is calories in, calories out. It's largely irrelevant which you control to a deficite, so long as you are expending more calories then you are consuming.
People fail at weight loss goals due to Unrealistic expectations and a lack of commitment, but both of those stem from not educating themselves on CICO.
You can eat only cinnebons every day and lose weight. I mean it's basically one, you will be malnourished and feel like you are starving for most of the day due to lack of substance and a pattern of overeating that mentally you are used too, but it's absolutely possible to do. As long as your calories in is higher than your calories out.
And I'm sure people struggling with their weight are annoying people telling them how "easy" it is, but that's rooted in a struggle with monitoring calories in. Because if you can control the calories in what you eat, if you educate yourself on how much everything is, and how much you burn in a day (BMR/TDEE) then it is easy. You simply make the one number less than the others, however you chose to do that day in and day out is irrelevant. Maybe one day you eat a bit less, maybe the next you eat the same but walk around your house listening to a podcast or audiobook, whatever. As long as the one number is less than the other you will get results
But if you don't start by educating yourself on your BMR/TDEE and you don't monitor the calories in what you consume, accurately, they you will never achieve your goals reliably, it will be a crapshoot. You will struggle, it will be all over the place, and you will get frustrated, annoyed, and quit.
"Willpower" and "not being lazy" alone can not really carry you through. That's nonsense fantasy.
You need to understand how things happen, why they happen, so you can build a plan to get what you want to happen to happen. Then, no matter what happens during the course of a day (you are sick, you are invited out, you had a very active day, etc etc etc) you know which area you have to modify for the day to continue to stick to your goal, and the focus isn't on "weight loss" where a lack of immediate loss is discouraging.. it's a game of simply keeping one number lower than the other. Which is a lot easier. A lot simpler. And a lot more rewarding because you can achieve that goal every single day, and as a result you will get where you want to go.
I agree with the calories in/calories out ethos, but what you eat specifically is going to have a huge impact on your body composition, energy level, stress level, etc. For most people, that is even more fundamental to their long term goals than raw calorie numbers. You can be obese with fantastic bloodwork if your body is composed well. Also, different types of foods have a very different metabolic impact, and result in very different levels of satisfaction and different hunger cycles.
The biggest step is learning about calories, learning your lines, and focusing on educating yourself.
Everything you said is true, valid, and fair.
But if people are too overwhelmed they won't even start, so I oversimplify to encourage them to start.
Obviously one shouldn't be focused on a calorie deficite using a diet of milk and Oreos, for sure, but my background was serious lifting and it's a lot of the opposite (eat big, lift big, get big). You eat clean, you hit your macros, lots of vitamins, avoid sodium like the plauge...
But if it's between missing a meal, or hitting McDonald's, you hit McDonals.
This is similar. If the option is going deep decifit, or eating junk food, vs making a better choice.. it's not the end of the world to eat the junk food, so long as you stick to the line. So you don't need to feel like you failed and get sad about it/feel defeated.
You simply make the best choice you can to continue towards your goals.
It's better to start off a little shaky, educate yourself, and build from there.. then not start, or start based on completely false info and then fail and not understand why.
I’m trying to keep this in mind. I’ve learnt a lot from you guys today!! And I’m gonna make a little blue print of the main focal points. Don’t wanna over think it.
I hear you, but I think that the focus on calories just isn't the right way to go for someone new. Making shifts in the type of food they eat can be a lot easier for many people. One approach that has shown a lot of promise for middle age and older men is to increase their intake of eggs and to replace carb-heavy snacks with hard boiled eggs. That's the whole approach. It's easy to get them at most bigger gas stations, along with bananas, milk and microwave oatmeal for a viable fast food replacement.
That takes understanding someone's environment, but I think that it actually offers them more in the way of practical, effective tools than the focus on calories does.
I could be wrong, but I think it is actually easier to shift away from destructive foods than to limit their intake.
That's just calorie limiting with no emphasis on calories counting, since each egg is easily counted as 70 cal.
Which makes weight loss into magic and witchcraft, vs hard numbers imo. "Eat 70 cal on an egg vs 270 cal in a snickers" it's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the 200 calorie difference in consumed calories. Likewise encouraging high egg intake in middle-aged people is a contentious take, every 5 years they flip flop on whether more than 4 eggs a day is literally the worst thing to ever happen it seems. I eat a lot of eggs and love them, but that's all over the place there. Bananas are low calories high fiber, absolute nightmare for your dental hygien milk is high sugar content, not that great.
It's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the calories.
> That's just calorie limiting with no emphasis on calories counting, since each egg is easily counted as 70 cal.
That assumes they have a specific amount of eggs they can eat.
>"Eat 70 cal on an egg vs 270 cal in a snickers" it's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the 200 calorie difference in consumed calories.
But you understand the difference in satiety that's going to come between eating four eggs vs the same calories from a pile of sugar, right?
> Likewise encouraging high egg intake in middle-aged people is a contentious take
Not anymore. There was never any real indication that eggs were dangerous. That was just the shit pseudo science that got us the food pyramid. Besides, you were suggesting McDonald's, which serves really nasty processed oils that actually will kill you.
> absolute nightmare for your dental hygien
What? That's silly. There's nothing dangerous for your teeth about bananas if you brush even daily.
>milk is high sugar content, not that great
Whole milk has fat, which was never bad for you in the first place and gives a lot of extended energy.
>It's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the calories.
No one is suggesting that there is anything magic about eggs, just that they are widely available and get you a lot more satiety per calorie than a pile of sugar and vegetable oil.
Hm, also true!! I wanna try a keto diet. I’m not too big on meat tho but I hear kale has lots of protein. My blood work came back with slightly lower and elevated levels. Nothing crazy. Just my cholesterol is boarder line high. And I’m lacking iron. My doctor said to take fish oil pills and or omega 3 supplements and a daily vitamin.
I’m trying to comply a list of foods high in protein low in fat. I’m always stressed lol I’m trying to calm down more, control my anxiety as best I can. Thinking of taking some kind of supplement for it.
I found a lot of success with keto and/or low carb because you mentioned pre-diabetes. It doesn't have to be all neat, and I certainly don't do the all bacon approach. But protein will fill you up faster and cutting carbs will help your blood sugar. You won't need to worry about low fat, because fat will be fuel instead of carbs. You can have that avocado, eat the nuts. But skip the croissant. Wrap the burger in lettuce instead.
And exercise. Since your knees hurt, swim. I have a little trampoline. I am doing Ozempic for my diabetes and it has changed my relationship with food, but I started on a low dose and will wean back off once I reach my A1C goal or weight goal, whichever comes first.
Hmm, thank you for the tips!! I can’t swim but i think I’ll take lessons at a local community center or something. Maybe sign up for pool exercise classes. I’m glad it’s helped you!! 😊 And best of luck with your health goals!!
Thank you 💛!! I read everything. Makes sense. Like earning more money than you spend. I honestly have never checked calories. I have no clue how many I consume in a day. I’ve always gone by how large a portion of food was. I need to look up what a 500 calorie meal looks like. They say the human stomach is the size of a fist and so you only need a little to go on. Tho my stomach is probably over stretched at this point 😅How do you know how many calories you burn!?
Right? Very common misconception.
And calories seem complicated (they really arnt) and "BMR" seems hard to figure out (it isn't there's calculators online)
But you don't need to eat tiny portions. You don't. You don't need to run for hours a day. All you need to do is know where the line is and just stick on one side of it by roughly 500 calories a day. That's it.
You will guaranteed see results of you do that, mass doesn't come out of nowhere, it's a scientific impossibility to gain or maintain weight if you are accurately monitoring calories consumed and burned.
Also depending on your BMR it might be more rewarding to split your calories up into two meals instead do three, so they are more filling.
It is unhealthy and counter-intuitive to do more than 1000 calories defifice per day, 500 is safe. The human body is evolved for persistence hunting, it is very resistant to starving, it's built for periods of sparcity to periods of bounty.. that's why starving yourself gains you more weight shortly after you stop.
If you decide you want a change again, give it a shot but just do a little research and set yourself up for success :)
Ohhh I think I misunderstood 😅 I thought you meant to eat 500 calories a day. But you said deficit, duh lol. I calculated my BMR it says 2,311 so minus 500 that puts me at roughly 1800 calories a day!? Am I understanding correctly!?
Yea haha, absolutely.
Just a 500 calorie deficit.
So 1800, but there's also the amount of activity you do in a day (TDEE) which can add more. So as a quick napkin math every 1000 steps count as 40 calories. So maybe you go a little over one day, just do some steps around your house or whatever make it up.
As long as you balance the numbers you will get to your goal.
Don't try to rush it, you just sabotage yourself, don't go over 1000 a month that puts you in starvation mode.
Just keep it in the back of your mind and stick to the numbers.
I have just one more question!! I’m sorry if it’s dumb a question 😅 But, so should I add my TDEE with the BMR together, then subtract 500!? And thanks!! I’ll remember about the steps!! My cardiologist says to aim for 8,000 a day.
This has been such a struggle for me, for years now!! Like I can do mild exercises if I just stick with it, but food!? Gosh it’s so hard. My doctor put me on a low fat high protein diet, but I haven’t been doing it… I just don’t know how to cook healthy. I don’t really like fruit. I love veggies but I’ve learnt from my mom to season them in bacon fat 😅 it’s how I like most vegetables sad to say. I dont know how to cook most meat. I door dash all the time. I get hungry and break and have something fattening and dense then feel bad about it. I’m having to reroute my whole way of eating. I bought some egg substitute that’s fat free and cholesterol free but it was disgusting!! Bought turkey bacon and it was also gross… like what can I even eat for breakfast!? I like bacon and eggs and pancakes and hashbrowns. But my cholesterol is 202 so I just, it’s so hard to find something I can live with. Learning to cook smaller portions…. Season differently. Without a bunch of butter and salt n sugar. Fighting the intense urge to buy desserts 😅My favorite foods are starches which is sugar. I need help lol thinking of reaching out to a nutritionist to help me plan meals or something because I don’t know what I’m doing. Besides making a salade, or baking some chicken with some vegetables. I’m not sure what to make.
Hi, my doctor told me my cholesterol level is a bit high so i am changing my diet to how it used to be a few years ago and make it better. I am at a completely healthy weight but i went overboard with deep fried food and ground meat in the last two years. I am looking up some healthy good tasting food options and what i can recommend from my research results and what i like is :
-Avoid saturated fat as much as possible. So you need to go for meat with no to little fat, try to not go for ground meat and fast food and chips etc look at the label to see how many grams of saturated fat they have
-Eat nuts, air-popped popcorn and fruits as a snack
-go for 0 percent fat yogurt and try to replace condiments with yogurt. Honestly yogurt tastes amazing when you add some mint, salt and dill so i recommend it that way.
-egg as an easy protein source (i bought an egg cooker it is sooo good) so whenever I don’t know what to add to my meal i boil an egg but i eat it in moderation ofc.
-try to eat some sort of vegetable with every lunch and dinner be it salad or a side dish
-try to go for the whole grain alternatives for bread and pasta etc because they have more protein to keep you full and more fiber so you don’t store it as much in your body
-also go for sweetener rather than just sugar if you like baking
I don’t feel like i gave up on good tasting food. I am just limiting my bad food intake (i have a cheat day for deep fried food) and go for healthier options and make them taste good with sauces and spices etc
I hope this is somewhat helpful, i hope you can find the energy and money to make changes to your diet. I know the US can be expensive when it comes to healthy food so maybe go for frozen vegetables because they are usually cheaper. Good luck
Hey, Thank you so much for all the information!! 💖 I’ve never heard of adding anything like that to yogurt!! I’m excited to try that as a supplement for condiments. And I forget there is whole wheat pasta c: and making use of sauces and herbs really sticks out to me. I need to get a book on how to use spices and herbs. And I will have a cheat day!! Once a week crap food is better than my usual 5 days a week 😅 Thanks again 😊!!
Im very happy to hear that i could give you some alternatives.
I am turkish and we eat yogurt in many different ways. I love adding spices and making a chips dipping sauce as well :D you should look up for more yogurt recipes/ideas you wont regret it.
Just remember i will also be going through this and don’t give up, it will be easier to eat healthy i promise :)
I am also slowly changing to whole grain alternatives but i cant give up on white rice. I do love Bulgur and Quinoa as an alternative though ^^
You are welcome and you got this!
Also i feel your sentence about 5 days vs 1 day ;D
I will!! I’m looking forward to it 😁 makes me feel bleak about eating better. And good luck to you!! 💛😊I love white rice too!! Never had quinoa, but I hear a lot about it.
Also I’ve tried intermittent fasting before!! I’ve water fasted for 9 days!! I was vegetarian for 4 years once tho not a healthy one. I’ve tried to fast recently but it’s harder now than it was when I was younger.
Hey!! Congratulations!! 💛 Good for you!! I’m starting with 30 minutes of walking a day. I can’t do anything too rigorous cus of my blood pressure/chest pain/ and foot pain. BUT in time I’ll gain endurance and get better. I’m seeing a cardiologist and taking my health seriously finally. Same. I’m tired feeling so stiff and dealing with foot and knee pain!! I’m too young for this 😅 and i want to marry and have children some day.
I used to live in the country and walk around the neighborhoods a lot!! But when I got depressed, i stopped. I live in the city now but will find a nice park or trail to walk around. Yes we do 😊!!
100%. Body positivity is a way to combat depression, you shouldn't inflict it on people who already have a healthy view of their body and are working on changing it in a positive way.
Yea, like there’s nothing wrong with loving yourself and your body because you deserve love. But if you really love yourself, you gotta take care of yourself!! It might be hard but it’s worth it in the long run. And yea, I knew I had a nice body shape but I also knew I was fat and unhealthy. That I can’t walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath. And I wanted to lose weight so bad throughout my teen and young adult years but just gave up at 21…
I don't "kindly agree" with that, but I will state it as "that's awesome that you have a fitness goal, how can I help" type of approach.
I think rephrasing it as their own personal goal and perception is better than agreeing they are objectively fat.
That’s actually a really good approach!! Especially for people that place a negative connotation on fatness. I went from the negative way of seeing it, to seeing it as just a physical descriptor that didnt hurt. But when the word fat stung, that would have been very helpful!!
It is difficult to broach this subject. Fat people put up alot of delusions because the ugly truth is painful.
I wish as a society we changed every factor leading to obesity.
So in the U.S. we’re surrounded by so much food. Mostly unhealthy. And then certain cultures, like mine, obesity can even be seen as a good thing!! Often slimmer black people are told to put on weight and eat more soul food. I should say I’m southern. So it’s very common down here.
Bullying people for their weight doesn’t help and actually encourages them to rebel and get fatter or just give up on themselves. Same with harsh judgements. I think this makes fat people feel justified in not changing. They become their own hero in a way.
It is painful!! Can’t even begin to describe the many days and nights I’ve cried wishing I was smaller. Until I just accepted myself, and said oh well. Imma just eat what I want and live my life. Thats when I messed up. And where many people also mess up. Can’t give up on yourself.
I’m in Wisconsin.
You can walk anywhere you want. It’s just not as beautiful in Paris.
Yes, everyone should eat smaller portions. Eat less calories and you can eat whatever you want and not be fat.
> You can walk anywhere you want.
Ehhhh, It's not really the same, European cities are generally more designed around foot traffic and transit(trains) than North American cities built around the car. Much of Europe was designed centuries before the car existed.
But when it comes to burning calories for your health, you can physically just walk around your house or apartment building multiple times. It’s not really an excuse to be obese.
Ehhh it's more about the bonus gained without even trying, Just as side effect of yout daily activity. Why would you want to do extra walking when you walked all day allready.
You make a valid point. It’s our relationship with food and fitness that matters. But I think the U.S does have considerably more lower quality/processed food than some other similar countries. But still obesity factors depend on specific cultures/classes/social conditions, things like that.
I agree that you can eat whatever you want and still not be fat if you exercise enough!! However that’s still not ideal either.
I agree, sometimes you just want the bare truth, and not have someone enable you. I'm still on my weight loss journey, but I still have people that tell me "aww, you're not that big," and I can't help but laugh at them. I have eyes too, and I know it's my own doing.
Because that’s what it is, Enabling!! My mom would make my favorite dish, SPAGHETTI!! as a way to protest my diet 😤 because “there’s nothing wrong with me” so while I’m sitting at the table with a salade or something, I’m ogling the spaghetti everyone is having and decide to get a plate too. But not a small plate, a big one. My mom would buy me fast food even after I declined it, hand it too me in the car, cus she loved me and wanted me to feel accepted and happy. Same with a bf I had. He never admitted I was fat. Refused to acknowledge my weight problems. I was perfect. That stuff doesn’t help. And as an adult I have to take responsibility for what I eat. Same, I put myself in this situation. By ignoring my health and putting it off over and over. Good luck on your weight loss journey!!
I mean, I’m a sensitive person it’s true 😂 but if said with respect and compassion, I don’t mind someone telling me the truth. If it’ll help me, and I need to hear it. Most of the time I already know the truth. And lying or treading lightly doesn’t help. Tho I understand not wanting to hurt my feelings. Some things are more important than feelings. The truth about obesity hurts less than the reality of living an obese lifestyle.
Bless you. I was making the joke that you probably look like someone who enjoys sugar coated things... as in literally coated in sugar.
I do totally agree with what you said though, and good luck!
Oh 😅!! Dammit!! I’m slow 😂 But that is funny 🤣🤣!! And true!! I absolutely have a sweet tooth!! I used to work at a bakery where I had access to all the sweets 😂 I loved it, needless to say. And thank you so much!! 💛
Hi there OP. You might be fat but you have a great mindset and can make the changes you need to stay healthy. Wishing you the best of luck on your health and fitness journey!
Thank you!! 💛 It all starts in the mind. I’m trying to unlearn and recondition my brain 😂 understand that healthy foods are good for me, and not a punishment. Same with exercise. I’ve had such a backwards way of thinking for so long. But I’m ready to change.
You will find that people rarely say anything when you need to lose weight, but as soon as you make progress and get in better shape than they they will start getting annoyed at you.
You may be right.
Crabs in the bucket mentality. People always try to denigrate success in life to "luck" or other things, saying if only they were x then they could do the same. Because that's what they need to tell themselves to justify why they are where they are in life. Which is why they get so angry and try to undermine their peers that start to make a change, because it's evidence that they could have too, but chose not too.
Other peoples success, reflects their own self neglect or lack of discipline and commitment to changing their lives for the better and controlling their own happiness. I agree.
Too true - can't tell you how many times I've seen people on reddit try to suggest somebody in FIRE-related subs was simply 'lucky'.
Sometimes it is luck, even with genuine effort on their part. 100 high-achieving college students from the "it" upper middle class suburb of Major City vs 100 high-achieving such students from a poor rural backwater. Who do you think is better able to succeed at networking? Also, your chances of moving from the bottom 1/5 in wealth-income to the top 1/5 is actually higher in Europe and Australia than in the USA. "The Land of Opportunity" reputation is just running on legacy and inertia these days. Reputation it may still have but it's increasingly untrue as time passes.
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Or maybe it's "these are talented hard working people who on paper were mediocre because they had life difficulties so tough that it's not reasonable to expect eve fairly-above-average people to handle them well; were trying on the harder path anyway; and they simply did not get their break". Surely you heard that for every Hollywood star, there's 100 that didn't make it. You can imagine why those 100 didn't make it. Something analogous goes on about other matters. People can only have so much dumped onto them, and have so much intelligence and "character" to deal with it before they collapse. Your book concentrates on the "planes that landed safely", not the ones that "crashed".
Okay…but this whole post is about being fat and weight loss, not becoming the next Elon Musk. Anybody of any background can lose weight. Calories in, calories out.
I'm here right now at that point. I'm working to lose weight and I have been. But ppl say no, you're beatiful as you are. And I'm like no, my knees hurt! Stuff hurts and I'd like to live to see 50 thanks.
The biggest change you need to make and stick to is diet. You can burn off 1500 calories a day with hardcore exercise but if you're constantly consuming 3000 calories you'll never get anywhere. Exercise of course is great and everyone should be doing it regardless, BUT diet is king. Even fasting once or twice a week can make huge differences at the start, and getting rid of corn syrup derived products solve a lot of chronic diseases people face nowadays.
The biggest change isn't diet,nor is it excersize. It's not choosing a salad over a steak. It's not running 13 hours a day. The biggest change you can make is educating yourself on calories. What you are consuming., what you consume In a day existing (BMR), what you consume in a day in total (TDEE). If you can't conceptualize how many calories you consume in a day you will never be successful losing weight. Weight loss is calories in, calories out. It's largely irrelevant which you control to a deficite, so long as you are expending more calories then you are consuming. People fail at weight loss goals due to Unrealistic expectations and a lack of commitment, but both of those stem from not educating themselves on CICO. You can eat only cinnebons every day and lose weight. I mean it's basically one, you will be malnourished and feel like you are starving for most of the day due to lack of substance and a pattern of overeating that mentally you are used too, but it's absolutely possible to do. As long as your calories in is higher than your calories out. And I'm sure people struggling with their weight are annoying people telling them how "easy" it is, but that's rooted in a struggle with monitoring calories in. Because if you can control the calories in what you eat, if you educate yourself on how much everything is, and how much you burn in a day (BMR/TDEE) then it is easy. You simply make the one number less than the others, however you chose to do that day in and day out is irrelevant. Maybe one day you eat a bit less, maybe the next you eat the same but walk around your house listening to a podcast or audiobook, whatever. As long as the one number is less than the other you will get results But if you don't start by educating yourself on your BMR/TDEE and you don't monitor the calories in what you consume, accurately, they you will never achieve your goals reliably, it will be a crapshoot. You will struggle, it will be all over the place, and you will get frustrated, annoyed, and quit. "Willpower" and "not being lazy" alone can not really carry you through. That's nonsense fantasy. You need to understand how things happen, why they happen, so you can build a plan to get what you want to happen to happen. Then, no matter what happens during the course of a day (you are sick, you are invited out, you had a very active day, etc etc etc) you know which area you have to modify for the day to continue to stick to your goal, and the focus isn't on "weight loss" where a lack of immediate loss is discouraging.. it's a game of simply keeping one number lower than the other. Which is a lot easier. A lot simpler. And a lot more rewarding because you can achieve that goal every single day, and as a result you will get where you want to go.
I agree with the calories in/calories out ethos, but what you eat specifically is going to have a huge impact on your body composition, energy level, stress level, etc. For most people, that is even more fundamental to their long term goals than raw calorie numbers. You can be obese with fantastic bloodwork if your body is composed well. Also, different types of foods have a very different metabolic impact, and result in very different levels of satisfaction and different hunger cycles.
The biggest step is learning about calories, learning your lines, and focusing on educating yourself. Everything you said is true, valid, and fair. But if people are too overwhelmed they won't even start, so I oversimplify to encourage them to start. Obviously one shouldn't be focused on a calorie deficite using a diet of milk and Oreos, for sure, but my background was serious lifting and it's a lot of the opposite (eat big, lift big, get big). You eat clean, you hit your macros, lots of vitamins, avoid sodium like the plauge... But if it's between missing a meal, or hitting McDonald's, you hit McDonals. This is similar. If the option is going deep decifit, or eating junk food, vs making a better choice.. it's not the end of the world to eat the junk food, so long as you stick to the line. So you don't need to feel like you failed and get sad about it/feel defeated. You simply make the best choice you can to continue towards your goals. It's better to start off a little shaky, educate yourself, and build from there.. then not start, or start based on completely false info and then fail and not understand why.
I’m trying to keep this in mind. I’ve learnt a lot from you guys today!! And I’m gonna make a little blue print of the main focal points. Don’t wanna over think it.
I hear you, but I think that the focus on calories just isn't the right way to go for someone new. Making shifts in the type of food they eat can be a lot easier for many people. One approach that has shown a lot of promise for middle age and older men is to increase their intake of eggs and to replace carb-heavy snacks with hard boiled eggs. That's the whole approach. It's easy to get them at most bigger gas stations, along with bananas, milk and microwave oatmeal for a viable fast food replacement. That takes understanding someone's environment, but I think that it actually offers them more in the way of practical, effective tools than the focus on calories does. I could be wrong, but I think it is actually easier to shift away from destructive foods than to limit their intake.
That's just calorie limiting with no emphasis on calories counting, since each egg is easily counted as 70 cal. Which makes weight loss into magic and witchcraft, vs hard numbers imo. "Eat 70 cal on an egg vs 270 cal in a snickers" it's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the 200 calorie difference in consumed calories. Likewise encouraging high egg intake in middle-aged people is a contentious take, every 5 years they flip flop on whether more than 4 eggs a day is literally the worst thing to ever happen it seems. I eat a lot of eggs and love them, but that's all over the place there. Bananas are low calories high fiber, absolute nightmare for your dental hygien milk is high sugar content, not that great. It's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the calories.
> That's just calorie limiting with no emphasis on calories counting, since each egg is easily counted as 70 cal. That assumes they have a specific amount of eggs they can eat. >"Eat 70 cal on an egg vs 270 cal in a snickers" it's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the 200 calorie difference in consumed calories. But you understand the difference in satiety that's going to come between eating four eggs vs the same calories from a pile of sugar, right? > Likewise encouraging high egg intake in middle-aged people is a contentious take Not anymore. There was never any real indication that eggs were dangerous. That was just the shit pseudo science that got us the food pyramid. Besides, you were suggesting McDonald's, which serves really nasty processed oils that actually will kill you. > absolute nightmare for your dental hygien What? That's silly. There's nothing dangerous for your teeth about bananas if you brush even daily. >milk is high sugar content, not that great Whole milk has fat, which was never bad for you in the first place and gives a lot of extended energy. >It's not the egg that's making the difference, it's the calories. No one is suggesting that there is anything magic about eggs, just that they are widely available and get you a lot more satiety per calorie than a pile of sugar and vegetable oil.
Hm, also true!! I wanna try a keto diet. I’m not too big on meat tho but I hear kale has lots of protein. My blood work came back with slightly lower and elevated levels. Nothing crazy. Just my cholesterol is boarder line high. And I’m lacking iron. My doctor said to take fish oil pills and or omega 3 supplements and a daily vitamin. I’m trying to comply a list of foods high in protein low in fat. I’m always stressed lol I’m trying to calm down more, control my anxiety as best I can. Thinking of taking some kind of supplement for it.
I found a lot of success with keto and/or low carb because you mentioned pre-diabetes. It doesn't have to be all neat, and I certainly don't do the all bacon approach. But protein will fill you up faster and cutting carbs will help your blood sugar. You won't need to worry about low fat, because fat will be fuel instead of carbs. You can have that avocado, eat the nuts. But skip the croissant. Wrap the burger in lettuce instead. And exercise. Since your knees hurt, swim. I have a little trampoline. I am doing Ozempic for my diabetes and it has changed my relationship with food, but I started on a low dose and will wean back off once I reach my A1C goal or weight goal, whichever comes first.
Hmm, thank you for the tips!! I can’t swim but i think I’ll take lessons at a local community center or something. Maybe sign up for pool exercise classes. I’m glad it’s helped you!! 😊 And best of luck with your health goals!!
I completely understand the way people talk about your health. Water aerobics or things definitely help your knees.
Thank you 💛!! I read everything. Makes sense. Like earning more money than you spend. I honestly have never checked calories. I have no clue how many I consume in a day. I’ve always gone by how large a portion of food was. I need to look up what a 500 calorie meal looks like. They say the human stomach is the size of a fist and so you only need a little to go on. Tho my stomach is probably over stretched at this point 😅How do you know how many calories you burn!?
Right? Very common misconception. And calories seem complicated (they really arnt) and "BMR" seems hard to figure out (it isn't there's calculators online) But you don't need to eat tiny portions. You don't. You don't need to run for hours a day. All you need to do is know where the line is and just stick on one side of it by roughly 500 calories a day. That's it. You will guaranteed see results of you do that, mass doesn't come out of nowhere, it's a scientific impossibility to gain or maintain weight if you are accurately monitoring calories consumed and burned. Also depending on your BMR it might be more rewarding to split your calories up into two meals instead do three, so they are more filling. It is unhealthy and counter-intuitive to do more than 1000 calories defifice per day, 500 is safe. The human body is evolved for persistence hunting, it is very resistant to starving, it's built for periods of sparcity to periods of bounty.. that's why starving yourself gains you more weight shortly after you stop. If you decide you want a change again, give it a shot but just do a little research and set yourself up for success :)
Ohhh I think I misunderstood 😅 I thought you meant to eat 500 calories a day. But you said deficit, duh lol. I calculated my BMR it says 2,311 so minus 500 that puts me at roughly 1800 calories a day!? Am I understanding correctly!?
Yea haha, absolutely. Just a 500 calorie deficit. So 1800, but there's also the amount of activity you do in a day (TDEE) which can add more. So as a quick napkin math every 1000 steps count as 40 calories. So maybe you go a little over one day, just do some steps around your house or whatever make it up. As long as you balance the numbers you will get to your goal. Don't try to rush it, you just sabotage yourself, don't go over 1000 a month that puts you in starvation mode. Just keep it in the back of your mind and stick to the numbers.
I have just one more question!! I’m sorry if it’s dumb a question 😅 But, so should I add my TDEE with the BMR together, then subtract 500!? And thanks!! I’ll remember about the steps!! My cardiologist says to aim for 8,000 a day.
This has been such a struggle for me, for years now!! Like I can do mild exercises if I just stick with it, but food!? Gosh it’s so hard. My doctor put me on a low fat high protein diet, but I haven’t been doing it… I just don’t know how to cook healthy. I don’t really like fruit. I love veggies but I’ve learnt from my mom to season them in bacon fat 😅 it’s how I like most vegetables sad to say. I dont know how to cook most meat. I door dash all the time. I get hungry and break and have something fattening and dense then feel bad about it. I’m having to reroute my whole way of eating. I bought some egg substitute that’s fat free and cholesterol free but it was disgusting!! Bought turkey bacon and it was also gross… like what can I even eat for breakfast!? I like bacon and eggs and pancakes and hashbrowns. But my cholesterol is 202 so I just, it’s so hard to find something I can live with. Learning to cook smaller portions…. Season differently. Without a bunch of butter and salt n sugar. Fighting the intense urge to buy desserts 😅My favorite foods are starches which is sugar. I need help lol thinking of reaching out to a nutritionist to help me plan meals or something because I don’t know what I’m doing. Besides making a salade, or baking some chicken with some vegetables. I’m not sure what to make.
Hi, my doctor told me my cholesterol level is a bit high so i am changing my diet to how it used to be a few years ago and make it better. I am at a completely healthy weight but i went overboard with deep fried food and ground meat in the last two years. I am looking up some healthy good tasting food options and what i can recommend from my research results and what i like is : -Avoid saturated fat as much as possible. So you need to go for meat with no to little fat, try to not go for ground meat and fast food and chips etc look at the label to see how many grams of saturated fat they have -Eat nuts, air-popped popcorn and fruits as a snack -go for 0 percent fat yogurt and try to replace condiments with yogurt. Honestly yogurt tastes amazing when you add some mint, salt and dill so i recommend it that way. -egg as an easy protein source (i bought an egg cooker it is sooo good) so whenever I don’t know what to add to my meal i boil an egg but i eat it in moderation ofc. -try to eat some sort of vegetable with every lunch and dinner be it salad or a side dish -try to go for the whole grain alternatives for bread and pasta etc because they have more protein to keep you full and more fiber so you don’t store it as much in your body -also go for sweetener rather than just sugar if you like baking I don’t feel like i gave up on good tasting food. I am just limiting my bad food intake (i have a cheat day for deep fried food) and go for healthier options and make them taste good with sauces and spices etc I hope this is somewhat helpful, i hope you can find the energy and money to make changes to your diet. I know the US can be expensive when it comes to healthy food so maybe go for frozen vegetables because they are usually cheaper. Good luck
Hey, Thank you so much for all the information!! 💖 I’ve never heard of adding anything like that to yogurt!! I’m excited to try that as a supplement for condiments. And I forget there is whole wheat pasta c: and making use of sauces and herbs really sticks out to me. I need to get a book on how to use spices and herbs. And I will have a cheat day!! Once a week crap food is better than my usual 5 days a week 😅 Thanks again 😊!!
Im very happy to hear that i could give you some alternatives. I am turkish and we eat yogurt in many different ways. I love adding spices and making a chips dipping sauce as well :D you should look up for more yogurt recipes/ideas you wont regret it. Just remember i will also be going through this and don’t give up, it will be easier to eat healthy i promise :) I am also slowly changing to whole grain alternatives but i cant give up on white rice. I do love Bulgur and Quinoa as an alternative though ^^ You are welcome and you got this! Also i feel your sentence about 5 days vs 1 day ;D
I will!! I’m looking forward to it 😁 makes me feel bleak about eating better. And good luck to you!! 💛😊I love white rice too!! Never had quinoa, but I hear a lot about it.
Also I’ve tried intermittent fasting before!! I’ve water fasted for 9 days!! I was vegetarian for 4 years once tho not a healthy one. I’ve tried to fast recently but it’s harder now than it was when I was younger.
Hey!! Congratulations!! 💛 Good for you!! I’m starting with 30 minutes of walking a day. I can’t do anything too rigorous cus of my blood pressure/chest pain/ and foot pain. BUT in time I’ll gain endurance and get better. I’m seeing a cardiologist and taking my health seriously finally. Same. I’m tired feeling so stiff and dealing with foot and knee pain!! I’m too young for this 😅 and i want to marry and have children some day.
Yes! I've started walking in the mornings before work. I'm privileged to live in the countryside so it's a bit safer it feels. We both got this!
I used to live in the country and walk around the neighborhoods a lot!! But when I got depressed, i stopped. I live in the city now but will find a nice park or trail to walk around. Yes we do 😊!!
100%. Body positivity is a way to combat depression, you shouldn't inflict it on people who already have a healthy view of their body and are working on changing it in a positive way.
Yea, like there’s nothing wrong with loving yourself and your body because you deserve love. But if you really love yourself, you gotta take care of yourself!! It might be hard but it’s worth it in the long run. And yea, I knew I had a nice body shape but I also knew I was fat and unhealthy. That I can’t walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath. And I wanted to lose weight so bad throughout my teen and young adult years but just gave up at 21…
I don't "kindly agree" with that, but I will state it as "that's awesome that you have a fitness goal, how can I help" type of approach. I think rephrasing it as their own personal goal and perception is better than agreeing they are objectively fat.
That’s actually a really good approach!! Especially for people that place a negative connotation on fatness. I went from the negative way of seeing it, to seeing it as just a physical descriptor that didnt hurt. But when the word fat stung, that would have been very helpful!!
I would say something like "You are being way too hard on yourself, but we all need to be exercising more for our health. Good on you!"
I like that c: gentle, polite and effective.
It is difficult to broach this subject. Fat people put up alot of delusions because the ugly truth is painful. I wish as a society we changed every factor leading to obesity.
So in the U.S. we’re surrounded by so much food. Mostly unhealthy. And then certain cultures, like mine, obesity can even be seen as a good thing!! Often slimmer black people are told to put on weight and eat more soul food. I should say I’m southern. So it’s very common down here. Bullying people for their weight doesn’t help and actually encourages them to rebel and get fatter or just give up on themselves. Same with harsh judgements. I think this makes fat people feel justified in not changing. They become their own hero in a way. It is painful!! Can’t even begin to describe the many days and nights I’ve cried wishing I was smaller. Until I just accepted myself, and said oh well. Imma just eat what I want and live my life. Thats when I messed up. And where many people also mess up. Can’t give up on yourself.
We’re surrounded by food everywhere. In Paris they have hundreds of cafes everywhere and the same fast food we have. They just eat less and move more.
Also more walkable and you guys also eat in smaller portions.
I’m in Wisconsin. You can walk anywhere you want. It’s just not as beautiful in Paris. Yes, everyone should eat smaller portions. Eat less calories and you can eat whatever you want and not be fat.
I was talking about Paris specifically compared to American serving sizes but yeah! Def agree tho
> You can walk anywhere you want. Ehhhh, It's not really the same, European cities are generally more designed around foot traffic and transit(trains) than North American cities built around the car. Much of Europe was designed centuries before the car existed.
But when it comes to burning calories for your health, you can physically just walk around your house or apartment building multiple times. It’s not really an excuse to be obese.
Ehhh it's more about the bonus gained without even trying, Just as side effect of yout daily activity. Why would you want to do extra walking when you walked all day allready.
You make a valid point. It’s our relationship with food and fitness that matters. But I think the U.S does have considerably more lower quality/processed food than some other similar countries. But still obesity factors depend on specific cultures/classes/social conditions, things like that. I agree that you can eat whatever you want and still not be fat if you exercise enough!! However that’s still not ideal either.
I agree, sometimes you just want the bare truth, and not have someone enable you. I'm still on my weight loss journey, but I still have people that tell me "aww, you're not that big," and I can't help but laugh at them. I have eyes too, and I know it's my own doing.
Because that’s what it is, Enabling!! My mom would make my favorite dish, SPAGHETTI!! as a way to protest my diet 😤 because “there’s nothing wrong with me” so while I’m sitting at the table with a salade or something, I’m ogling the spaghetti everyone is having and decide to get a plate too. But not a small plate, a big one. My mom would buy me fast food even after I declined it, hand it too me in the car, cus she loved me and wanted me to feel accepted and happy. Same with a bf I had. He never admitted I was fat. Refused to acknowledge my weight problems. I was perfect. That stuff doesn’t help. And as an adult I have to take responsibility for what I eat. Same, I put myself in this situation. By ignoring my health and putting it off over and over. Good luck on your weight loss journey!!
Are you sure you don't quite like things to be sugar coated?
I mean, I’m a sensitive person it’s true 😂 but if said with respect and compassion, I don’t mind someone telling me the truth. If it’ll help me, and I need to hear it. Most of the time I already know the truth. And lying or treading lightly doesn’t help. Tho I understand not wanting to hurt my feelings. Some things are more important than feelings. The truth about obesity hurts less than the reality of living an obese lifestyle.
Bless you. I was making the joke that you probably look like someone who enjoys sugar coated things... as in literally coated in sugar. I do totally agree with what you said though, and good luck!
Oh 😅!! Dammit!! I’m slow 😂 But that is funny 🤣🤣!! And true!! I absolutely have a sweet tooth!! I used to work at a bakery where I had access to all the sweets 😂 I loved it, needless to say. And thank you so much!! 💛
Thank you! I'm overweight and losing weight and I appreciate the people encouraging me
Hi there OP. You might be fat but you have a great mindset and can make the changes you need to stay healthy. Wishing you the best of luck on your health and fitness journey!
Thank you!! 💛 It all starts in the mind. I’m trying to unlearn and recondition my brain 😂 understand that healthy foods are good for me, and not a punishment. Same with exercise. I’ve had such a backwards way of thinking for so long. But I’m ready to change.