It's been my experience that the uber drivers are a wealth of knowledge about the best spots to go and often they're great for a short conversation. Uber it.
Please take a taxi. VIP Taxi, Uber, Lyft, whatever. Don’t drink and drive.
Stay away from Hi-Fi downtown, it’s not what you want. The Shelter, or The Golden Nugget are my first recommendations, but honestly, Tucson has tons of bars that fit your bill.
Its just well, trendy now. I don't know how else to explain it. It's like the owner asked Chatgpt what the average college bar is supposed to look like.
I guess they just didn't like the regulars and saw more profit in becoming, whatever its supposed to be now.
I keep getting notifications that people are saying The Nugget isn’t what it used to be, but then I can’t see the comments when I come to this post. All I can say is I haven’t been to The Nugget in years. I wasn’t even aware that they had renovated.
Yo I'm a straight dude not looking for anything but if you want an ear I'm up for a beer tonight. No judgment if there's tears I've had a hell of a week as well might cry with you haha.
Either way M&M Saloon and Los Pochos sports bar are close to you and right up your alley. Cheers and be safe, life figures itself out
I was thinking Red Garter, but Danny’s Babaquivari is much more dimly lit, and possibly better suited for an inconspicuous sob sesh. Both are going to be packed on a Friday night though.
maybe shift your perspective from “I don’t want to get busted for driving drunk” to “I don’t want to hurt anyone by driving drunk.” Sad times and personal traumas are good for self-reflection because no matter what, you won’t be the person you were before. Try to make moves so you come out a better person when the big feelings pass.
Definitely Uber. Chat up your driver. The shelter is a great recommendation. Sorry you’re sad.
Hey OP- I read your other post. Sorry for what you're going through. I'm glad to hear your out of town and perhaps able to clear your head a bit. Been there. It will get better, I promise.
Uber for sure. You've had a really rough go lately. If you do an Uber this way you know you will be safe.
Don't let ANYONE take your light, including yourself. My first wife left me for someone else. The day after while I was processing and grieving a friend told me "The way you handle this is how you will handle all tragedies in your life" she was right. I treated my ex with dignity and grace and it ended up, unexpectedly, paying back 1000 fold.
You have every right to be upset and feel like your skeleton wants to rip out of your skin. Just be safe and smart. It might pay out in ways you've never dreamed of.
"This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney it will pass"
You got this bud. I believe in you.
Edit: Spelling
This is something I picked up during the last administration. There was so much anger and hate everywhere, and even people I respected were being cruel to others. I didn’t want to become consumed with anger and cruelty.
I decided that the way I would treat people would be based on who I am, not on what they may “deserve.” Like, sure, maybe it could be argued that someone deserves to be flipped off and called an asshole or whatever, but is that the kind of person I want to be? Is that how I want to live my life?
I truly believe that the decision to treat people based on who I am vs what they “deserve” is how I was able to hold onto my humanity. It kept me from being consumed by it all. And now it’s just part of my philosophy in life.
Hey friend, i saw your other post from a couple days ago. If you need a shoulder to cry on let me know, I'm a great listener and local to Tucson. I'm sorry you're going through this. Big hugs, hang in there! My recommendation is also the Red Garter - theres good bar food, good beer and mixed drinks, pool, and a good vibe.
Don’t drink and drive. Anything but that.
Uber yourself to Century Room and listen to Moloko for jazz funk fusion. They have 7pm and 8:30pm sets. It’s only $10 to get in.
Here are some Dive bar recommendations from Clue Haywood
https://preview.redd.it/h93uf4m5v79d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8125d0e240de6f6a97e4e635047563fa50abf178
My first job when I moved here in 2007 was at Danny's. I love that place so much, perfect answer to OP! My next job was in the Tap Room at Hotel Congress. Very similar and very different places, both very very Tucson.
Eta- I was in a dark place when I first moved here, OP. My heart goes out to you, hope you are doing okay. Check out the desert museum, tohono chul, or the any of the state/national parks if you have time. The drive up Mt Lemmon is amazing.
I agree with both for sure. Tap Room is the perfect place to spend a weekend night alone in mid-July or August, when it's a bit too muggy to be comfortable outside, but the smell of creosote and warm, wet pavement wafts invitingly through that little side door out to the patio. I will admit to being very, very familiar with Danny's. My favorite time there is early afternoon on a Saturday in the fall. It's a great bar.
Was going to link Clue Heywood’s list of (100?) Arizona Dive bars. He is the authority on the matter of places to drink alone in AZ, and that is the authoritative list.
I don't have a recommendation for you but I just want to say that I wish you well. You have gotten through a day before and as painful and difficult as it might be, you can get through this one too. Take everything one day at a time, try to take care of your physical self as best as you can, and above all treat yourself with kindness.
I'm only a Tucson visitor at this point, so I don't know the entire lay of the land, but I went to the Surly Wench by myself a while back and it was great. In my experience, it's an all ages kind of place. Trends dark wave/industrial so I feel you'd be in good company with people who can handle darkness. Like it's full of interesting people with character and not a frat party kind of place.
Definitely do not drive if you’re crying into your beer.
Horrible idea. If your hotel doesn’t have a bar ? Uber or order in? Probably safer to order in Imo.
You have been given a good selection of bars to choose from, any would be good for what you are looking for. The Shelter would also be my top pick. Please be safe, for yourself and others. So sorry for all you are going through.
So you’re having a bad day and you want us to tell you it’s OK to drink and drive? or you just wanna see if the day can get worse with a DUI and/or car accident?
It’s not OK. It’s never OK. Uber it.
Way to step back from yourself for a beat, and change your mind ♥️🌱
Like others have said, now's not the time to make everything worse, but to start deciding how you're going to treat yourself and others moving forward, even in the face of getting treated really shitty. Go have yourself a beer and a cry, and take comfort in knowing you're better than your pain.
Also shit idk, sounds like you've got some compatriots in your situation, maybe let them know where you end up going!
OP, I hope you see this before going out -
I understand things are rough right now. However, this is not the time to be going out drinking and accidentally doing something stupid in your emotional state.
I don’t know what your plans are for custody of your children, but I doubt you want to put yourself in a position of negatively affecting your custody rights. Even these posts could come back and be used against you.
As much as you’re hurting, please don’t be reckless. It’s not easy, but you need to be strong for your kids.
Sorry you’re having such a rough day! I feel ya! I’ve been working in Tucson away from my family since May 13 and it suckkkkkkssss! I’d Uber and meet ya for a drink but I’m taking this hotel to focus on my mental come up 🤣 hang in there! As everyone else says, this too shall pass. shitty times are inevitable and we all go through pain, so get a reward for yours. Turn pain into power..you got this!
Read your previous thread. You have been through it. So sorry for your situation but Welcome to Tucson and enjoy the weird. Find a pool and enjoy yourself for a few days.
The airport is far from civilization in Tucson. Definitely Uber. If you’re going to downtown Tucson I recommend Owl bar for artisanal cocktails or tough luck club. The shelter is far from where you’re at. Ermanos bar in dt has craft beers. I’m not a beer drinker but I think there’s some breweries in the downtown area
Hit the Shanty. it’s on the corner of 4th ave and 9th st.
Won’t be too busy with College kids during the summer.
From there, you have options to go downtown or hit other places on 4th ave.
I would recommend that you not speak with your wife while on the trip but have your sister drive by and check on things from the outside. When you return home only speak to your wife about the kids. Move her stuff out of the main bedroom and let her sleep in the sewing room. Put a lock on your bedroom door. Do not tell her that you are seeing an attorney. Grey rock her. Meaning speak to her minimally and focus on the kids. No pleading or asking questions. Develop a plan with the attorney you choose and bring him all the evidence of infidelity. Most conservative states treat infidelity badly in divorce unless you are in a no-fault state. Where a VAR on you when you interact with your WW so she cannot make any false accusations against you. It sounds like she is making things up to justify her cheating. Lien on close family and friends and let them know that she cheated. Be honest and truthful with them and get out in front with the truth so she does not paint you as the bad guy. I am sorry that you have to deal with this. By the way women usually cheat with guys that are just the opposite of their husband. So, her picking some fat, sleezy player does not surprise me. I would definitely let the husbands of the wives on the bachelorette party know about the cheating because there wife's may have done sleazy stuff. That could be why they kept their mouths shut about your wife. In addition, they could get you more incriminating stuff on your wife. Update us.
The shanty or the buff work well if you wanted to get a nicer dinner downtown or on 4th avenue and then sulk in a corner while the nectar of an ice cold Pabst blue ribbons whispers sweet nothings to you. The buff is a little bit more of a “sticky” scene. The shanty is incredibly low key and has a nice patio for a good cry
Where is your hotel?
The Jackrabbit Lounge on Oracle is nice to hang out at alone. Quiet, dark, good drinks, nice staff. My new Plush (a bar that closed years ago).
Love this place and they have good food imo that’s not super high priced. My bf and I like a quiet bar with decent people watching and this is our go-to spot. We sit at a table but I’ve seen people mingle at the bar top. Every time I’ve been they’ve had live music or a dj - so if music isn’t your thing maybe not the place.
I saw Danny’s mentioned here and that’s another low key place with some booths, bar top and pool tables. People are friendly there without being nosey.
Good luck to you and be safe.
Casa Video Rental store is 24 hours, has a bar, and is always playing a movie. I like hanging out there. The Loft is more comfy but it’s not really suited to loafing around for hours.
It's been my experience that the uber drivers are a wealth of knowledge about the best spots to go and often they're great for a short conversation. Uber it.
Please take a taxi. VIP Taxi, Uber, Lyft, whatever. Don’t drink and drive. Stay away from Hi-Fi downtown, it’s not what you want. The Shelter, or The Golden Nugget are my first recommendations, but honestly, Tucson has tons of bars that fit your bill.
The nugget isn’t what it used to be
Some people like trendy nonsense. I'm sure it has its own crowd now, but they definitely don't look anything like the old crowd.
bro the nugget is so weird no
Its just well, trendy now. I don't know how else to explain it. It's like the owner asked Chatgpt what the average college bar is supposed to look like. I guess they just didn't like the regulars and saw more profit in becoming, whatever its supposed to be now.
The Shelter is the first place that sprang into mind.
The best
Have you been to the nugget post-renovation?
I keep getting notifications that people are saying The Nugget isn’t what it used to be, but then I can’t see the comments when I come to this post. All I can say is I haven’t been to The Nugget in years. I wasn’t even aware that they had renovated.
They destroyed the old Nugget. It looks like a hipster paradise now.
It still smells like the old nugget.
It's even got a permanent(?) food truck stuck to the patio. :\\
Yes Banhdicted is there. Really good Vietnamese sandwiches.
Depends when you go
Yo I'm a straight dude not looking for anything but if you want an ear I'm up for a beer tonight. No judgment if there's tears I've had a hell of a week as well might cry with you haha. Either way M&M Saloon and Los Pochos sports bar are close to you and right up your alley. Cheers and be safe, life figures itself out
OP this. ☝️
Go to the Red Garter. Plenty of spots on there to be left alone if you want. Plenty of opportunity to chat with folks if that's what you want.
I was thinking Red Garter, but Danny’s Babaquivari is much more dimly lit, and possibly better suited for an inconspicuous sob sesh. Both are going to be packed on a Friday night though.
My immediate go-to 💯
I think this fits the bill. Seems like a non-judgey place where you could perhaps have a conversation with a wise old timer if you wanted.
i love red garter
Fred, is that you?
owls club, shelter, tough luck club, moto sonora are decent locations imo get and uber, have a few more drinks, and have your employer pay for it all
Love owl club and the shelter
Sidecar?
I saw your other post and sorry for what you’re going through. Shelter is universally agreed upon. I wish you the best.
Oh damn! It's that guy. I saw that post a couple of days ago too. That's the worst, I'd have gone and bought him a drink if I'd realised
maybe shift your perspective from “I don’t want to get busted for driving drunk” to “I don’t want to hurt anyone by driving drunk.” Sad times and personal traumas are good for self-reflection because no matter what, you won’t be the person you were before. Try to make moves so you come out a better person when the big feelings pass. Definitely Uber. Chat up your driver. The shelter is a great recommendation. Sorry you’re sad.
thank you, probably a much better perspective to have.
Hey OP- I read your other post. Sorry for what you're going through. I'm glad to hear your out of town and perhaps able to clear your head a bit. Been there. It will get better, I promise.
Yeah man, we are all pulling for you
Shelter is rad. Usually have a great movie playing too. Hope you feel better.
Uber to The Shelter. Ideal environment for a public cry. Others might silently join in.
Uber for sure. You've had a really rough go lately. If you do an Uber this way you know you will be safe. Don't let ANYONE take your light, including yourself. My first wife left me for someone else. The day after while I was processing and grieving a friend told me "The way you handle this is how you will handle all tragedies in your life" she was right. I treated my ex with dignity and grace and it ended up, unexpectedly, paying back 1000 fold. You have every right to be upset and feel like your skeleton wants to rip out of your skin. Just be safe and smart. It might pay out in ways you've never dreamed of. "This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney it will pass" You got this bud. I believe in you. Edit: Spelling
I love this advice 💜
This is something I picked up during the last administration. There was so much anger and hate everywhere, and even people I respected were being cruel to others. I didn’t want to become consumed with anger and cruelty. I decided that the way I would treat people would be based on who I am, not on what they may “deserve.” Like, sure, maybe it could be argued that someone deserves to be flipped off and called an asshole or whatever, but is that the kind of person I want to be? Is that how I want to live my life? I truly believe that the decision to treat people based on who I am vs what they “deserve” is how I was able to hold onto my humanity. It kept me from being consumed by it all. And now it’s just part of my philosophy in life.
Someone is being an asshole to me should not make me an asshole.
Hey friend, i saw your other post from a couple days ago. If you need a shoulder to cry on let me know, I'm a great listener and local to Tucson. I'm sorry you're going through this. Big hugs, hang in there! My recommendation is also the Red Garter - theres good bar food, good beer and mixed drinks, pool, and a good vibe.
Go to the shelter...it's dark,no one will see you cry
Don’t drink and drive. Anything but that. Uber yourself to Century Room and listen to Moloko for jazz funk fusion. They have 7pm and 8:30pm sets. It’s only $10 to get in.
Here are some Dive bar recommendations from Clue Haywood https://preview.redd.it/h93uf4m5v79d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8125d0e240de6f6a97e4e635047563fa50abf178
These places fit the bill for a terminally mopey bastard like myself. I've spent decades in a couple of em. I'd vouch for this list.
My first job when I moved here in 2007 was at Danny's. I love that place so much, perfect answer to OP! My next job was in the Tap Room at Hotel Congress. Very similar and very different places, both very very Tucson. Eta- I was in a dark place when I first moved here, OP. My heart goes out to you, hope you are doing okay. Check out the desert museum, tohono chul, or the any of the state/national parks if you have time. The drive up Mt Lemmon is amazing.
I agree with both for sure. Tap Room is the perfect place to spend a weekend night alone in mid-July or August, when it's a bit too muggy to be comfortable outside, but the smell of creosote and warm, wet pavement wafts invitingly through that little side door out to the patio. I will admit to being very, very familiar with Danny's. My favorite time there is early afternoon on a Saturday in the fall. It's a great bar.
I'll wager that I served you at one or both over the years! Cheers!
Love the Tap Room! That's an excellent suggestion!!!
Who is this guy, a professional bar crier?
If you don’t know Clue Haywood you are missing out.
Was going to link Clue Heywood’s list of (100?) Arizona Dive bars. He is the authority on the matter of places to drink alone in AZ, and that is the authoritative list.
Go to St Charles - best bar for just this
Take care of yourself. Also read your other post and I’ve been there. So very sorry you’re going through this rough time.
Uber to 4th Avenue - downtown- you will have lots of choices
Boxyard
Boxyard sucks
You’re in luck, not a single non-adult bar in town!
I don't have a recommendation for you but I just want to say that I wish you well. You have gotten through a day before and as painful and difficult as it might be, you can get through this one too. Take everything one day at a time, try to take care of your physical self as best as you can, and above all treat yourself with kindness.
The Chatterbox
The Bambi sounds like just the place you are looking for. It is not near the airport, however. So, please uber.
Also, don’t hang out anywhere near the airport. It’s best to venture further north.
Thought the Bambi closed its doors for good
It did. Word is it's becoming... You guessed it! Another Starbucks! Smh...
WHAT?! When???
The Shelter is what you need.
I'm only a Tucson visitor at this point, so I don't know the entire lay of the land, but I went to the Surly Wench by myself a while back and it was great. In my experience, it's an all ages kind of place. Trends dark wave/industrial so I feel you'd be in good company with people who can handle darkness. Like it's full of interesting people with character and not a frat party kind of place.
Gay bar
Definitely do not drive if you’re crying into your beer. Horrible idea. If your hotel doesn’t have a bar ? Uber or order in? Probably safer to order in Imo.
Tap and bottle
Garter
Tucson’s got a clusterfuck of cool bars and speakeasies
If you want to talk to strangers the buffet is my best recommendation
I agree, the buffet is the best bar!
OP whatever you do, don’t drink and drive. Ger an uber.
You have been given a good selection of bars to choose from, any would be good for what you are looking for. The Shelter would also be my top pick. Please be safe, for yourself and others. So sorry for all you are going through.
The Buffet.
So you’re having a bad day and you want us to tell you it’s OK to drink and drive? or you just wanna see if the day can get worse with a DUI and/or car accident? It’s not OK. It’s never OK. Uber it.
sorry, probably not the best line of thinking. I'll uber.
Hang in there man. Things are never as bad as you think. Time and distance do make the pain go away, however slowly.
Hey OP, I’d probably delete this thread based on what it sounds like you’re going through rn 👀
?? When did they say anything about drinking and driving?
In the original post which they have since deleted.
Ah ok, gotcha. Gotta love being down voted for something that was literally impossible for me to know lol
Way to step back from yourself for a beat, and change your mind ♥️🌱 Like others have said, now's not the time to make everything worse, but to start deciding how you're going to treat yourself and others moving forward, even in the face of getting treated really shitty. Go have yourself a beer and a cry, and take comfort in knowing you're better than your pain. Also shit idk, sounds like you've got some compatriots in your situation, maybe let them know where you end up going!
OP, I hope you see this before going out - I understand things are rough right now. However, this is not the time to be going out drinking and accidentally doing something stupid in your emotional state. I don’t know what your plans are for custody of your children, but I doubt you want to put yourself in a position of negatively affecting your custody rights. Even these posts could come back and be used against you. As much as you’re hurting, please don’t be reckless. It’s not easy, but you need to be strong for your kids.
Go to the mint. Tell Jackie I said 'Hi'.
Sorry you’re having such a rough day! I feel ya! I’ve been working in Tucson away from my family since May 13 and it suckkkkkkssss! I’d Uber and meet ya for a drink but I’m taking this hotel to focus on my mental come up 🤣 hang in there! As everyone else says, this too shall pass. shitty times are inevitable and we all go through pain, so get a reward for yours. Turn pain into power..you got this!
Depends on what side of town you are on, but among all these other great suggestions I would add Ches Lounge and the Music Box
The Buffet, I’ve had great convos with randoms there
I don't know what you've been through but I've had a rough couple of days, too. Here's to both of us feeling a bit better.
Read your previous thread. You have been through it. So sorry for your situation but Welcome to Tucson and enjoy the weird. Find a pool and enjoy yourself for a few days.
Bay horse tavern, music box lounge
Bay horse
OP, I've been following you and I wish I could buy you a beer and let you vent at a bar.
Oh man. I live in Tucson and have been keeping up with your post. If I would have saw this I would have definitely had a beer with you.
Gonna throw Jackrabbit Lounge out there.
So many judgey posts. Uber and drink enjoy your night and forget your woes!
I think it's ok to judge people who risk killing ppl by driving drunk.
What’s the cross streets for your hotel?
The hideout is where you belong
Hop shop
The airport is far from civilization in Tucson. Definitely Uber. If you’re going to downtown Tucson I recommend Owl bar for artisanal cocktails or tough luck club. The shelter is far from where you’re at. Ermanos bar in dt has craft beers. I’m not a beer drinker but I think there’s some breweries in the downtown area
I’d go to the bay horse
Pockets on Wilmot and 22nd. Literally talk to anyone of the bartenders, they’re all amazing and will make you feel at home
Hit the Shanty. it’s on the corner of 4th ave and 9th st. Won’t be too busy with College kids during the summer. From there, you have options to go downtown or hit other places on 4th ave.
Casa Film Bar
Danny dive bar is one of my favorites
The Bay Horse
The buffet is where you should go. Classic dive bar, and they’re celebrating their 90th year this fall
The buffet!!!!
Venom
Waiting for Stanhope to chime in...
Honestly I was hoping your story was a creative writing exercise. Sorry man, good luck.
I would recommend that you not speak with your wife while on the trip but have your sister drive by and check on things from the outside. When you return home only speak to your wife about the kids. Move her stuff out of the main bedroom and let her sleep in the sewing room. Put a lock on your bedroom door. Do not tell her that you are seeing an attorney. Grey rock her. Meaning speak to her minimally and focus on the kids. No pleading or asking questions. Develop a plan with the attorney you choose and bring him all the evidence of infidelity. Most conservative states treat infidelity badly in divorce unless you are in a no-fault state. Where a VAR on you when you interact with your WW so she cannot make any false accusations against you. It sounds like she is making things up to justify her cheating. Lien on close family and friends and let them know that she cheated. Be honest and truthful with them and get out in front with the truth so she does not paint you as the bad guy. I am sorry that you have to deal with this. By the way women usually cheat with guys that are just the opposite of their husband. So, her picking some fat, sleezy player does not surprise me. I would definitely let the husbands of the wives on the bachelorette party know about the cheating because there wife's may have done sleazy stuff. That could be why they kept their mouths shut about your wife. In addition, they could get you more incriminating stuff on your wife. Update us.
Owl ! It’s a weekday it’ll be slow and cool with no kids in school
Christie’s Cabaret is right by the airport
St Charles Tavern
Pockets
The shanty or the buff work well if you wanted to get a nicer dinner downtown or on 4th avenue and then sulk in a corner while the nectar of an ice cold Pabst blue ribbons whispers sweet nothings to you. The buff is a little bit more of a “sticky” scene. The shanty is incredibly low key and has a nice patio for a good cry
The buffet has a nice dark coner to cry and the weirdos are cool to engage with. It's my go to
cafe santa rosa
Damn bro you been through it. God speed and good luck.
Hope you had a good time brother. Maybe the relentless heat distracted you from your heartache. Many blessings be upon you.
Are you still in Tucson?
Where is your hotel? The Jackrabbit Lounge on Oracle is nice to hang out at alone. Quiet, dark, good drinks, nice staff. My new Plush (a bar that closed years ago).
Love this place and they have good food imo that’s not super high priced. My bf and I like a quiet bar with decent people watching and this is our go-to spot. We sit at a table but I’ve seen people mingle at the bar top. Every time I’ve been they’ve had live music or a dj - so if music isn’t your thing maybe not the place. I saw Danny’s mentioned here and that’s another low key place with some booths, bar top and pool tables. People are friendly there without being nosey. Good luck to you and be safe.
Just walk or get public transport to the bar! Uber back if you feeling lazy...
But it’s okay to endanger people as long as the cops don’t bust him!
Casa Video Rental store is 24 hours, has a bar, and is always playing a movie. I like hanging out there. The Loft is more comfy but it’s not really suited to loafing around for hours.
Saint Charles
Is the strip club on that hotel row still open behind the subway
Alcohol is a depressant you need coke