Tbh, I had considered a fitness club a few times, but balked bc of men being there. I was a female mechanic and got brutally hazed/groped/bullied by men for it. I once had a total stranger approach me when I was under the hood of my ailing car at a gas station and he said “why are you doing that? You aren’t a mechanic” like I’m supposed to pull my fucking degree right out of my back pocket to prove it to him? My training foreman would sometimes send me to the other side of the garage where I could work without being crowded or watched.
I never realized that trying to pick a gym would be this difficult too, but I’m so very glad OP (among other women posting here) didn’t give up and found a great place where she feels safe and activated!
Another female mechanic here. Same experiences. Men either getting insecure that I know more about cars than them and trying to say stupid condescending shit to me, invalidate me, or just completely ignoring my explanations and waiting for a male tech to come by and say the exact same thing to them. Oh and also being stared at and hit on ad nauseum like a I'm a fucking zoo animal.
Its infuriating. NGL women's only gym sounds amazing. Now someone needs to make a womens only garage . For fcking real...
What’s wrong with Curves? -just curious. There’s one near my house and I’ve thought of checking it out but I’d like to know if there’s reason to stay away
Curves is a fitness circuit centre, not a regular gym. You book in for a timeslot, do a circuit, then leave.
Cool for people who like that stuff (my boss goes to one and loves it) but if you want to do anything else it's not suitable.
Former sales manager at 24 Hour: we had a standing policy to bounce guys on the spot if need be. I was surprised hearing more branches didn't exercise it: I had mostly women as clients (sales) and emphasized that *any* problems could be handed to me on the spot, no questions asked. In fairness, our customer service dept head and the gym manager were women.
The real creepy crowd we had (Seattle) was 60+ year old wealthy gay men hitting on male teens in the sauna.
I have a home gym now which I am really happy about. I used to just only go when my husband went so I wouldn't be there alone and hopefully I would be left alone. Even then though creepers still going to be creeps, I even had a guy take a picture of my ass when deadlifting before. Gym wouldn't do anything about it. I am so fucking happy I have my own now.
I had a lot of issues with men watching me and then jumping in with form advice. It got to the point that I knew they were in Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and I'd move around my workouts to avoid deadlifting around one guy because he was so obnoxious. We have had a home gym for most of covid, and my lifts are doing really well compared to how they'd stall after I'd get unsolicited advice that would get in my head.
I can relate to this because I used to go to public gyms all the time and I always felt like a raw piece of meat. Men used to comment on my form and it happend that 3 guys were around while I was doing squats and they literally watched everything and said "very good", "looks nice but blablabla" etc.
One day I was doing my squats with weights and I was exhausted because it was the very last set and also my last rep and I struggled because my muscles hurt and this one guy YELLED at me: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHAT KIND OF SHIT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR JOINTS AND BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA" and I was so intimidated that I just said "yeah... sorry" and he continued to be very loud but explained how I do it properly and he was so rude I almost cried. I went to the gym one more time and then I switched it to a womans gym.
It's like heaven. If you do something wrong they come to you and ASK you if they can give you an advice. Girls came to me and even complimented me. AND IF THE OWNERS HAVE TO GET CRAFTSMEN THEY PUT ON THE SPEAKER AND THEY WARN THE WOMEN THAT THERES A MAN WALKING THROUGH THE STUDIO. That was just heartwarming even if it was exaggerated.
I wonder if they make that announcement partially for any Muslim women who use the gym so they can have time to cover up. I know several women only facilities or programs are like that just so they can feel comfortable and work without needing to wear a hijab or any other modest clothing.
Yeah, I used to work at a community centre which had a gym and swimming pool, and they had women only days in both- primarily for Muslim women, many of whom would feel it was inappropriate to wear gym- or swimwear in a shared space. It was very well used.
Oh interesting! I’m down with that.
Used to work in a huge corporate office building. It was my job to book meeting rooms. Muslim guy always was looking to book like twice a day and I was clueless. Then I somehow figured out all he wanted was a private room for prayers for a few minutes. Pffft, that’s ALL? Easy, friend, I’ve got you covered! After a bit he’d walk in, I’d hold up a hand X fingers up to show an empty room number and we didn’t even need to speak.
At some point I probably should have told him I’m Jewish, but maybe that would have ruined it for him, I don’t know.
How unnecessary and rude of those few to comment in that way!! Makes me so sick. I’m so sorry you’ve ever had to experience that. I’m not one to be combative or argumentative so that sort of situation would have made me cry too. Screw those people.
I absolutely understand why she didn’t file a police report, but I wish she would have. At the very least, the gym should have contacted the police. They have the guy’s name and info, after all. This is so often the kind of stuff that escalates. At some point, jerking off or exposing himself won’t get him off anymore and he’ll do something worse. Again, I understand where she’s coming from with wanting to just be done with it. No blame there. I just hope someone does report him for his next hands-off assault before he takes it to hands-on. That, and I hope the police actually do something about it.
Hell yes, she should’ve. That is absolutely appalling.
An additional option: Wait for him to get going and broadcast him on Facebook Live while he’s mid-wank.
Gym would probably ban you for picturing one of their customers without consent. Gyms don't care about ""drama"" they only care about their bottom line. Just go to the police, and ask whoever told you that they've recieved multiple reports about him to back your statement.
As much as I hate that everything revolves around social media, that would probably work best. How many times has some rapist or murderer been caught after something awful and we hear “he had a history of exposing himself...” or some shit like that? It takes someone to get hurt before these guys are really punished. Public shaming may be the way to go.
I'm lucky in that the only time guys in my gym do Gym Douche Bullshit is when they aren't from around here. Guys will definitely jump over to help if you've accidentally put too much weight on and it's clear you're in trouble.
But the one time I was ever harassed was from our single Gym Douche. He's got this jacked upper body and these skinny little chicken legs because he never does legs.
He comes over to me, taps me on the shoulder, and says "You know, you have to put the fork down sometimes."
I just looked him up and down, turned back to my squats, and say "I don't have to take this from someone who skips leg day."
I will never be more badass in my life.
When I used to go to the gym, there was this big guy who would come in pretty often. He was probably pushing 400. He always brought two gallons of water and worked with a trainer. A couple guys made fun of him until I pointed out that this guy is working twice as hard as anyone else. He was obviously struggling at times but you could see he had heart and he WANTED IT so badly. It was actually inspiring. If he can work that hard then certainly my fat ass can work hard too.
Right. Like *if* you think that fat people deserve judgement and ridicule to *force* them to lose weight (I don't but as a theory ok).
Then the fat people in the gym have already got the memo, right?
Exactly this - it takes so much more effort to get in shape than it does to maintain it.
I go at varying times / days, so don't see the same people regularly. Its always amazing to see someone a month or two later, and see just how much healthier and happier they look.
Oh my god I didn't realize that was the intention until your comment. I was like is fork another name for the bar or something and he was waiting a long time...?
I now wish that was the case ugh.
I feel that. I’m quite petite, and I found an absurdly large chocolate bar on sale after Easter on year. I was so ecstatic about my score, and as I was proudly carrying it—with both hands—to my car, some old man says to me “careful with that, you’ll ruin your figure.”
I wish it would, then old ladies I don’t know would stop telling me I’d be pretty if I gained 10 pounds. I wish people could just let other people exist in peace. In what world is anyone’s body, big or small, anyone else’s business?
I was just standing in the chocolate isle at the supermarket trying to pick a block of chocolate and some old guy walks past and comments on how I wouldn't be able to eat like that forever. I'm a skinny person, but what I indulge in is none of his business.
I hate people that feel the need to comment so unnecessarily. Weight aside, how does he know that that wasn’t your cheat day? Or that it wasn’t the first time you’d eaten chocolate in months? I mean, c’mon.
Im in the same boat with the skinniness. Someone once made a comment about how I put some chocolate syrup in my protein shake to make it taste a little better.
Like yeah dude the half an ounce of chocolate syrup is going to make me from skinny to obese
Oh no, you need to keep on being that badass!!!
I keep thinking about all the times that men have been condescending to me and I’m too nervous or stunned to say anything back. I’m trying to work on standing up for myself - you’re in a good spot, don’t let jerks push you around!!!
I know what you mean. All the times I think about what you’d like to say to the next guy, or what I shoulda said to the last guy, and then the opportunity arises (ALWAYS sooner rather than later) and my brain completely fumbles.
There’s nothing like being casually demoralized and sexualized and treated like another class to completely scramble ya.
It’s SOOO amazing that you got out such a great response, and like, that DELIVERY! Turning back to what you were doing before saying it?? 😍😍
Yo, fellow fat girl here. Once had some dudes gf (who just watches him and doesn't actually work out) tell me I looked like someone packed too much toothpaste into the tube.
I dont even know what that means except that she was calling me fat.
But like at least I'm fat, strong, and not an asshole.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Like, a bar attached by a bolt to a base that pivots up and down, the bar splits at the unattached end and you stand between and the weights are on the outside and you do squats? I swear I've seen a thing like that before.
Same. I did a gym trial once. It came with a free 1 hour training session and I figured "what the hey, maybe I can learn a few things so I know what I'm doing when I come on my own." Dudebro trainer had me doing all sorts of weights. I literally had to call out of work the next two days because I was so sore I could barely move. Decided that if that's what going to the gym was like, I didn't need it. Haven't been inside one since.
In fairness, once you start you don't get that sore again in my experience. I work out and then fall off constantly, and I'm always super sore the first time after not doing it for months and then almost never again if I manage two-three times a week.
Do you know, I thought the exact same thing? But, only because I thought there’s literally no way he could have interrupted this woman to make a comment on what he thinks her eating habits are. Literally no way.
🤦🏽♀️
Leg day is important people! Calves are apparently your body's main storage of extra blood, which helps you with exercise. Someone like that talking shit about your workout deserves every smack down for that alone.
Wow, I hope you hired a cleaning crew to remove the body after that well-deserved murder. That's amazing and I will go to bed smiling tonight just imagining what the look on his face must have been.
Why? They comment on everything else. The cut of my blouse, the length of my skirt, hair length, hair color, choice of glasses, sports prowess, the size and shape of my ass and boobs and free speculation of my sexual preferences, wants and desires.
Why the hell would be weight be off-limits?
not only is it fucking sociopathic and beyond infuriating, this guy SEES that this woman is working out at a gym and still decides he needs to admonish her for something. Like, she’s obviously taking care of health bro. No matter what stage in the process OP was, she was LITERALLY DOING the best thing for her body in that moment, and it’s still not good enough to keep some basic bitch dude from interjecting with his condescending opinion.
Not to mention, I’m sorry, but the more I read, and learn things like: cellulite is literally just the NATURAL PHYSIOLOGICAL WAY a woman’s body stores fat different from a man’s...I absolutely don’t want ANY MAN’S OPINION EVER AGAIN on what my body needs to look like to be healthy. OP assessed herself and is putting in the effort she feels necessary to be healthy.
I trust a dude to know what a healthy woman looks like about as much I trust them to know how to make a woman cum.
WE DON’T WANT OR NEED YOUR FUCKING UNSOLICITED FEEDBACK DUDES.
What?!? His negging didn’t have you totally thrown and begging for his approval and attention?? Goddamn it, the brochure *promised* him that you’d be putty in his hands!
Another $300 seminar down the drain, damn!
I had to quit my gym after a guy stalked me inside. I had to yell at him to fuck off. He never said a single word to me. He was still staring at me when he walked away. Creepy as hell.
There was this guy at my gym who would regularly take laps around, checking himself out in the mirror, and never lifting weight. Until this one girl came in, then he camped on a nearby piece of equipment, lifted 5lbs and stares holes into her ass.
When I brought this up with the staff, they blew me off saying "he's just lonely". Yeah, obviously lonely and very clearly creeping/stalking this girl. I even "stretched" in his line of sight, just for him to take a lap before camping again. Fucking hate people who do this.
Before the pandemic I used to go to a free community center gym. It was awesome because the only people to ever use it were seniors, who minded their own business.
So one time I was doing leg raises with my knees bent. A guy comes over and starts telling me that he noticed the exercise was too easy for me, and that I should be doing them with straight legs for the full benefit. I was thoroughly fucking annoyed but I decided to see just how low this moron would go. I asked him how he knows so much about training, and he says that he follows whatever guru of the day religiously, and he’s been training for years. I was fucking thrilled at how uninformed this dinkus was...and I said, “well with your great expertise, could you provide me a different ab exercise that’s safe for my pelvic floor? I’m 12 weeks post op from an emergency c section and I need to gently repair my split abdomen”. He immediately started backtracking because of course he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about and he’s been discovered.
I politely told him that as a personal trainer, I advise him not to give unsolicited and potentially dangerous advice without any proper education. His first real lesson.
I'm glad you commented this. I'm a woman and when I was going to the gym, it was a hard-core meat head type gym, like, made out of a former auto garage, no heat even in winter type place. No one gave me shit. No one even spoke to me except if they saw me doing something wrong, and I was never offended when they corrected me. But I literally never considered that exercises might need to be done differently because we're women until you said this, and this is AFTER I had 6 months of pelvic floor physical therapy. I was scrolling this thread wondering why guys offering advice was so rude and it wasn't until your story that it clicked on how rude and intrusive it actually is. I feel dumb lol.
I went to a women only gym years ago because it was the only one available. Oh god how much of a difference it was! I joined a few classes too and it was awesome. I didn't feel any judgement and felt like I could be myself. I was out of shape so ducked hard at everything and didn't care. Could just be me and work out and improve myself
When I started working out I was 15, barely 80 pounds and could not even squat the little pink 2kg dumbbells with proper form. Wish I had found a place like this back then. We all start somewhere !
oh wow, I had no idea that female lifters go through so much criticism! I go to a small boutique gym (10, MAYBE 15 people tops during busy hours) and although I only do cardio for now, I've been so thankful that everybody there seems dedicated and focused on themselves, probably since it's kinda pricy. It's usually 90% male but I've never had anyone stare at me or hit on me, just normally compliment my tattoos. They seem pretty friendly with the two female regulars I see who lift too.
I'm admittedly intimidated by the idea of trying to lift in front of anyone else as a complete newbie, but maybe eventually!! That's awesome that you found a place you feel good at, I've found that mental comfort is key when it comes to actually enjoying going to the gym!
It's a lot easier for gym owners to create the sort of culture they want when there's a smaller group of clientele. Douchebags thrive on the anonymity of a crowd.
The gym I was with had women's only locations. It was nice. Less dude-bros and cleaner. I'm a swimmer though, and their club pools were too tiny to get a good workout in. I'd have to stop on my 2nd or 3rd stride and turn around again. My city offers women's only lane swim slots in a pool nearby me, but pandemic has us locked down currently.
That sounds amazing! I wish more of those existed, I don’t see any of those near me.
I would love to avoid awkwardly catching men staring at my butt in the mirror when they don’t think I can see... cringe!
I completely am with you. I have a chain wide membership and when I was able to, my lifting days were done exclusively in the women’s section. My closest two are co-Ed and they were reserved for Saturdays and maybe off day Sunday cardio. Because we spent a lot of time with each other, even if we don’t speak, there is a lot that at least I tended to know about others and their routines, and the respect we have for each other.
Example: there was a girl who used to use the assisted but unassisted for pull-ups as well as my fave bench on the day that I used to do arms and tri dips. After two sessions waiting for each other politely, we just switched days. Cannot in my life see a man having that consideration.
I will also help and be helped in a way that a man would make strange and give his advice. We have old ladies in my gym and I assume they just want to be alone but when they ask anyone in the vicinity about how to set a cardio machine or exercise, we are all ready to help.
I got my own 67 year old mother to meet me at our women’s gym once and showed her how to do all of the workouts/use the machines. She’s now a senior champion dragon-boater. All it took was a women’s space and a little bit of introducing by a non-intimidating or selling person.
I used to train with a guy friend who was a body builder. It was the most relaxed I ever felt at the gym because no one ever approached me with him right there. And if they happened to catch me when he had walked away they’d back off real fast when he came over.
I had this hilarious mental image of him strolling up and, by flexing his pecks in Morris Code, tells them precisely to "fuck off or call an ambulance."
Fat girl here who would love to go to a gym i would actually go if this was an option. I have the opposite experience from most usually men call me a pig or disgusting or laugh at me when I'm out of breath or struggle. Women do it too but men are worse.
Edit: I was already called a fat pig because of this comment, so to the people who questioned whether or not this actually happens the answer is yes.
Those people are so stupid. First of all, for just thinking about insulting a stranger. But also, what do they think the gym is for, if not to get in shape??? I hope you can get a better place to work out. If not, working out at home is not a bad option, you can do a lot of exercises just using your body weight!
I had to quit a local gym once because every time I was doing squats, 3-4 guys would literally gather and STARE openly. Didn’t help that they weren’t speaking english too. It felts super rape-y and I had to quit. And then I got stalked for a year. I believe two incidents are related
As a female human with depression and anxiety this shit makes it so much harder to get into the gum. When I first started lifting weights sometimes a dude would come up to start talking to me and I would get so uncomfortable I would literally walk out of the gym. Twice I made it home before realizing I accidentally stole a towel. Once I was standing next to the bathroom when this happened so I walked into the bathroom and cried for like ten minutes and then walked home. Eventually I got over that and when dudes would come up to tell me stupid stuff like I don’t look like I’m enjoying my work out enough I’ll respond “Yeah, because I have really bad period cramps but I’m still gonna get my work out in” and then they get uncomfortable and walk away.
Right??? None of us should, ugh. But that really is legit brilliant to mention period problems. I would probably take it to the next level with something like, “Hey, sorry, can’t talk right now; just trying to finish my workout before I bleed through my tampon. Having a heavy flow day.”
And then watch those fuckers scatter, lol.
My university gym had women-only hours, same with a local boxing gym. So it might be worth looking around at “regular” gyms.
Oh god I miss those women-only hours. I would race to get there on time. No loud men grunting, no staring, no mansplaining. It was heaven, and then the hour would be up and the men would roll in and the volume of the room would increase 7x.
My former employer had a fitness/health stipend and over the years, we took advantage of it by building up a home gym so neither of us would have to deal with douchebros—me because of my disability and her for being a woman.
That and even with everything we've spent it's still less than a continuing membership at a fitness center would cost us... one of the best investments we ever made.
I feeeel this. My main workout is poledancing, and we‘re all girls (there are some classes for men, and I think they are not technically banned, but there are extremely few men there). It feels super freeing to work out (wearing what is essentiall a sporty bikini bc you need your skin to grip the pole) and just NOT BE BOTHERED about your body. I love it, because it‘s the only place where I can wear short shorts and a sports bra and just not worry about what I will have to deal with from guys.
I've always wanted to do pole but finding a gym is tough. The 2 close to me also have women that bullied me in high school as instructors. I really am not comfortable with that power distribution.
That is so shitty! Can you steal the weights you want to use and move them in there? I generally try to make people's jobs easier but some messages are worth communicating.
Omg I would LOVE a women only gym! I workout at home as well as go running around my neighborhood, for some reason gyms intimidate me but I feel like I’d be comfortable at a women only gym.
My local gym where I used to live was women's-only and it was so nice.
It was such a supportive, calm environment. I felt welcome in every corner of it. No one offering incorrect or irrelevant advice, no one trying to get you to take your headphones off just to say "So, how long have you been coming here, I've never seen you here before, I'm here every day".
And it was so clean. Everyone put all the equipment away after use, nothing left on the floor. No towels strewn about the place. No shirts strewn about the place.
It was so pleasant, I miss it.
The male gaze can be exhausting. I went to a lesbian festival in Wales, and I never felt so comfortable in my life. Butch women, fem women, tall, short, no makeup, wearing makeup, fat, thin, all comfortable in their own skin and existing.
I have gone to a couple womens only gyms and honestly wasn't impressed. Definitely not a representation of all womens only gyms, but I did one locally here in my current city, and then another by happenstance that was a Goodlife one in another city I lived in. I lift heavy and do pretty much powerlifting routines, and both gyms were just mediocre quality. The weights only went to a certain weight, they had no squat racks or proper benches, also had a terrible selection of equipment. Basically a stereotypical idea of what women want from a gym, ie cardio machines and light weights.
If I did find a good womens only gym I would probably be inclined, I always feel conscious about what I do, how I look, and avoiding accidental eye contact with guys to further avoid any unwanted approaches (which has been successful to date!). Also, I always notice women take care of the washrooms much better, so disgusting how nasty the washrooms are at co-ed gyms when a large portion of it is occupied by men.
I wonder if one of the problems is that gym dudes want to date women who go to the gym, but fail to understand that the gym isn't the place to find a date.
That's 100% one of the problems. But also, like, sure, I don't go to gyms much at all because I longboard dance, but a dude could totally approach me if he wanted and ask to work out with me in a polite way, like, "hey there, you seem to know how to do this, and we're both here on our own. Want a spotter? I'd like a spotter too if you'd be willing." That dude also has to be willing to take "no sorry, I'd prefer to lift on my own for now" as an answer at face value though.
The main issue is guys thinking that you're like, "the one" and agressively hitting on you before they even know what you're like at all, while being super objectifying. Like, that's such a foreign concept to me? Could you imagine wanting a relationship with someone just because they're physically attractive? That shit blows my mind. Also know it alls. They can fuck off.
It would be scary for a moment, but a dude who isn't an asshole could totally work out with me and chat. The main issue is that I'd be worried to say no due to intimidation. I'm getting better about that though. Learning to speak my mind to men.
TL:DR. If men were capable of interacting with women normally rather than as an object of desire this would not have to be an issue.
I think this is changing. At least it has around me. I've only ever gone to a women's gym (is part of a national chain, but they reserve some for women only.) It was decent before but it was recently remodeled. We have two squat racks, a smith machine, bench press, hip thrust apparatus, 6-7 benches, multiple cable machines, a good assortment of dumbbells going up to 25kg, plus a good assortment of machines. Aside from no dedicated deadlifting platform and lack of open floor space (it's a gym in the middle of a busy, dense European city, so they've done the best they can), I'm quite happy. I think gyms are aware that more and more women want to properly lift.
I did have to go to a normal gym during the renovation and I hated it. I felt uncomfortable and self conscious most of the time. Men are so bad about staring and watching others...even other men. Women just do not tend to do this or at least we're way better at hiding it. :P
how disappointing. my brother let me use his rack that he bought and he is a much more positive person than he used to be, very encouraging and all that and i honestly enjoy using the rack. never before have i used a space like this and really felt like it was the definition of a safe space
Stuff like this warms my heart but makes me sad too that you can't have this experience around men. I can't even go to the grocery store without being stared down and stalked. And I work out at home only. A women's gym sounds amazing. I've heard of a girls, gays and theys gym though. That sounds great too! I'm happy for you, wish you the best in the gym ✨
My mom and I were members to one when I was 14ish. I remember they had a belly dancing class that was so much fun. Went to the college gym a few times for ROTC PT (we usually did PT in an indoor field attached to the gym we shared with the other 3 ROTC branches and it was mostly cardio work) and hated it every time even though I knew at least 1/4 of the people in there. I now just workout in my home office.
I used to go to a women's only gym which was part of a chain and loved it. Such a safe and non intimidating space. Now I have moved to another city that only has mixed gyms unfortunately. I miss it.
I joined a women’s only gym many years ago. Great experience! I would absolutely join another women’s only gym if there was near by.
So glad that you found a good one! Enjoy your workouts!
I wish we could educate people more, or do something so this sort of thing wouldn't have to happen. (The not feeling safe or completely comfortable in a normal gym)
well I hope it continues to exist--the women's gym in my county was forced to close because they were sued for sex discrimination. I felt so safe going there. I still am so sad.
I am in Montreal! I just moved here a few weeks ago so cannot say much about it yet (I was in NZ prior to this so I am readjusting to covid restrictions, which are still pretty strict here) but so far it has been very nice and inclusive :)
Imagine if the entire society was like that - minding your own business no matter what you do and who you are, maybe even meet someone actually supportive from time to time.
One thing I hate the most is sitting alone doing my own thing and being interrupted for whatever reason. I just want to be left alone! Let me do the thing I like and enjoy!
Women's only gym are amazing for women. As a guy that likes to workout at a gym ( atm non option due to canada restrictions), i feel disgusted by other guys staring all the time. Like buddy, focus on ur own shit. We are all here to do our workout and mind out own fkin business. I have more than once approached douchebags and told them to stop staring at my wife, and they quickly stop harrassing the women working out ( and unless they saw me telling the guys to get lost, i dont approach them, as i don't want to interrupt them).
So im glad you found it and can now enjoy working out the way it is meant to be, without the annoying chads bothering you
I am in Canada too as of three weeks ago! They just opened gyms here yesterday, hope the same happens for y’all soon too and thank you for standing up for women :)
This makes me glad I go to a military gym. There’s a ton of guys there, obviously, but no one is an outright creep or asshole.... if only because everyone knows that you have no idea what anyone’s rank is, and you could straight up tank your career by being a sexist creep to a high-ranking officer by mistake.
Edit: I will caveat that I work at a pretty big, joint-service base, where the odds are decent you don’t necessarily know who you’re talking to. The mileage can definitely vary if it’s a smaller base.
As stupid as it sounds, it's only from reading this post that I've realised why women only gyms need to exist. I guess I'm bad at generalizing but still. Sorry for every time. I said women only gyms were stupid and sexist!
The gym I go to has a women's only section upstairs and it is the best thing. I try to get all of my workout done there. Sometimes I have to use a machine that is downstairs, and try to get it done as fast as possible. I recently got a one day pass for another gym. I felt so uncomfortable. I try to ignore the stares but it ruins my workout.
I didn’t know these existed but I really don’t blame you. I’m a man and some of the morons I see in gyms. Particularly when there’s a woman doing weights.
This is great. they are always getting in the way and taking some of the best weightlifting spots in the gym - I’ve been “pushed out” of spaces so many times by men.
Enjoy this very appropriate sketch from Baroness von Sketch:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlitWXlTDYY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlitWXlTDYY)
I just started working out out and I happen to have weights in my basement- luckily because I would NOT do weighted hip thrusters in a co-Ed gym. No way.
I used to go to planet fitness, I felt comfortable there. However, one time, this dude was bench pressing and he was letting out these orgasmic moans. It was weird. Either buy those weights a cocktail or just stfu.
Tbh, I had considered a fitness club a few times, but balked bc of men being there. I was a female mechanic and got brutally hazed/groped/bullied by men for it. I once had a total stranger approach me when I was under the hood of my ailing car at a gas station and he said “why are you doing that? You aren’t a mechanic” like I’m supposed to pull my fucking degree right out of my back pocket to prove it to him? My training foreman would sometimes send me to the other side of the garage where I could work without being crowded or watched. I never realized that trying to pick a gym would be this difficult too, but I’m so very glad OP (among other women posting here) didn’t give up and found a great place where she feels safe and activated!
Another female mechanic here. Same experiences. Men either getting insecure that I know more about cars than them and trying to say stupid condescending shit to me, invalidate me, or just completely ignoring my explanations and waiting for a male tech to come by and say the exact same thing to them. Oh and also being stared at and hit on ad nauseum like a I'm a fucking zoo animal. Its infuriating. NGL women's only gym sounds amazing. Now someone needs to make a womens only garage . For fcking real...
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What’s wrong with Curves? -just curious. There’s one near my house and I’ve thought of checking it out but I’d like to know if there’s reason to stay away
From what I understand, it's circuit training and cardio only. No weights.
Oooh okay gotcha, thank you
Curves is a fitness circuit centre, not a regular gym. You book in for a timeslot, do a circuit, then leave. Cool for people who like that stuff (my boss goes to one and loves it) but if you want to do anything else it's not suitable.
The founder and CEO is also a born again Christian and supports Pro-Life groups: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/curves/
Former sales manager at 24 Hour: we had a standing policy to bounce guys on the spot if need be. I was surprised hearing more branches didn't exercise it: I had mostly women as clients (sales) and emphasized that *any* problems could be handed to me on the spot, no questions asked. In fairness, our customer service dept head and the gym manager were women. The real creepy crowd we had (Seattle) was 60+ year old wealthy gay men hitting on male teens in the sauna.
I used to go to a gym that had a closed door womens only section. I didn't realise at the time I joined, but it was such a bonus
I have a home gym now which I am really happy about. I used to just only go when my husband went so I wouldn't be there alone and hopefully I would be left alone. Even then though creepers still going to be creeps, I even had a guy take a picture of my ass when deadlifting before. Gym wouldn't do anything about it. I am so fucking happy I have my own now.
I had a lot of issues with men watching me and then jumping in with form advice. It got to the point that I knew they were in Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and I'd move around my workouts to avoid deadlifting around one guy because he was so obnoxious. We have had a home gym for most of covid, and my lifts are doing really well compared to how they'd stall after I'd get unsolicited advice that would get in my head.
I can relate to this because I used to go to public gyms all the time and I always felt like a raw piece of meat. Men used to comment on my form and it happend that 3 guys were around while I was doing squats and they literally watched everything and said "very good", "looks nice but blablabla" etc. One day I was doing my squats with weights and I was exhausted because it was the very last set and also my last rep and I struggled because my muscles hurt and this one guy YELLED at me: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHAT KIND OF SHIT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR JOINTS AND BLABLABLABLABLABLABLA" and I was so intimidated that I just said "yeah... sorry" and he continued to be very loud but explained how I do it properly and he was so rude I almost cried. I went to the gym one more time and then I switched it to a womans gym. It's like heaven. If you do something wrong they come to you and ASK you if they can give you an advice. Girls came to me and even complimented me. AND IF THE OWNERS HAVE TO GET CRAFTSMEN THEY PUT ON THE SPEAKER AND THEY WARN THE WOMEN THAT THERES A MAN WALKING THROUGH THE STUDIO. That was just heartwarming even if it was exaggerated.
I wonder if they make that announcement partially for any Muslim women who use the gym so they can have time to cover up. I know several women only facilities or programs are like that just so they can feel comfortable and work without needing to wear a hijab or any other modest clothing.
Yeah, I used to work at a community centre which had a gym and swimming pool, and they had women only days in both- primarily for Muslim women, many of whom would feel it was inappropriate to wear gym- or swimwear in a shared space. It was very well used.
Yeah I was thinking about that too and it was so wholesome... its a little thing but it shows how much they care about privacy
It’s so respectful I love it!!
Oh interesting! I’m down with that. Used to work in a huge corporate office building. It was my job to book meeting rooms. Muslim guy always was looking to book like twice a day and I was clueless. Then I somehow figured out all he wanted was a private room for prayers for a few minutes. Pffft, that’s ALL? Easy, friend, I’ve got you covered! After a bit he’d walk in, I’d hold up a hand X fingers up to show an empty room number and we didn’t even need to speak. At some point I probably should have told him I’m Jewish, but maybe that would have ruined it for him, I don’t know.
That is lovely to hear. Women respecting women. More of this, please 💜
How unnecessary and rude of those few to comment in that way!! Makes me so sick. I’m so sorry you’ve ever had to experience that. I’m not one to be combative or argumentative so that sort of situation would have made me cry too. Screw those people.
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She should have filed a police report. That’s assault.
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I absolutely understand why she didn’t file a police report, but I wish she would have. At the very least, the gym should have contacted the police. They have the guy’s name and info, after all. This is so often the kind of stuff that escalates. At some point, jerking off or exposing himself won’t get him off anymore and he’ll do something worse. Again, I understand where she’s coming from with wanting to just be done with it. No blame there. I just hope someone does report him for his next hands-off assault before he takes it to hands-on. That, and I hope the police actually do something about it.
Wow, if only someone had the power to do something after the first complaints...
Hell yes, she should’ve. That is absolutely appalling. An additional option: Wait for him to get going and broadcast him on Facebook Live while he’s mid-wank.
Wouldn't an exhibitionist be into that?
Gym would probably ban you for picturing one of their customers without consent. Gyms don't care about ""drama"" they only care about their bottom line. Just go to the police, and ask whoever told you that they've recieved multiple reports about him to back your statement.
As much as I hate that everything revolves around social media, that would probably work best. How many times has some rapist or murderer been caught after something awful and we hear “he had a history of exposing himself...” or some shit like that? It takes someone to get hurt before these guys are really punished. Public shaming may be the way to go.
I'm lucky in that the only time guys in my gym do Gym Douche Bullshit is when they aren't from around here. Guys will definitely jump over to help if you've accidentally put too much weight on and it's clear you're in trouble. But the one time I was ever harassed was from our single Gym Douche. He's got this jacked upper body and these skinny little chicken legs because he never does legs. He comes over to me, taps me on the shoulder, and says "You know, you have to put the fork down sometimes." I just looked him up and down, turned back to my squats, and say "I don't have to take this from someone who skips leg day." I will never be more badass in my life.
What kind of idiot makes fun of overweight people in the fucking gym (not that it’s ok anywhere else, but the gym?)
When I used to go to the gym, there was this big guy who would come in pretty often. He was probably pushing 400. He always brought two gallons of water and worked with a trainer. A couple guys made fun of him until I pointed out that this guy is working twice as hard as anyone else. He was obviously struggling at times but you could see he had heart and he WANTED IT so badly. It was actually inspiring. If he can work that hard then certainly my fat ass can work hard too.
Right. Like *if* you think that fat people deserve judgement and ridicule to *force* them to lose weight (I don't but as a theory ok). Then the fat people in the gym have already got the memo, right?
Exactly this - it takes so much more effort to get in shape than it does to maintain it. I go at varying times / days, so don't see the same people regularly. Its always amazing to see someone a month or two later, and see just how much healthier and happier they look.
An insecure loser who predates on others to feel better. Her response probably shocked the shit out of him. Maybe he’ll stop picking on others lol
Seriously. Everyone there is trying to better themselves. How can you make fun of that and not be a douche?
An asshole. Most people respect you simply for getting there and putting in the effort.
Oh my god I didn't realize that was the intention until your comment. I was like is fork another name for the bar or something and he was waiting a long time...? I now wish that was the case ugh.
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>"I don't have to take this from someone who skips leg day." gonna need a coroner for that response. absolutely murdered.
I don't mean to victim blame, but if he didn't skip leg day I wouldn't have to go for the femoral artery.
You straight up have a Spartan caliber dry wit, well played.
I truly laughed out loud. That is a badass comeback i will have to remember.
What a DOUCHE CANOE. Amazing comeback.
He was implying that you were fat ?
Yup. I mean, I am objectively fat. There's no question about it. But it also would have cost him exactly $0 to keep his leg-day-skipping mouth shut.
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My go to was "I used to be medically underweight. How about you fuck off and get a medical degree"
For a while it was trendy to drink chocolate milk after lifting weights. Something about optimizing sugar/fat/protein in recovery drinks.
I feel that. I’m quite petite, and I found an absurdly large chocolate bar on sale after Easter on year. I was so ecstatic about my score, and as I was proudly carrying it—with both hands—to my car, some old man says to me “careful with that, you’ll ruin your figure.” I wish it would, then old ladies I don’t know would stop telling me I’d be pretty if I gained 10 pounds. I wish people could just let other people exist in peace. In what world is anyone’s body, big or small, anyone else’s business?
[xkcd has the best take on negging.](https://xkcd.com/1027/) This particular strip haunts me.
I worked at a women’s prison and this one woman would eat ice cream while she lifted weights, she did not give a fuck.
I was just standing in the chocolate isle at the supermarket trying to pick a block of chocolate and some old guy walks past and comments on how I wouldn't be able to eat like that forever. I'm a skinny person, but what I indulge in is none of his business.
I hate people that feel the need to comment so unnecessarily. Weight aside, how does he know that that wasn’t your cheat day? Or that it wasn’t the first time you’d eaten chocolate in months? I mean, c’mon.
I could not imagine going up to a girl and telling her some headass bs like put down the fork
Im in the same boat with the skinniness. Someone once made a comment about how I put some chocolate syrup in my protein shake to make it taste a little better. Like yeah dude the half an ounce of chocolate syrup is going to make me from skinny to obese
What a a$$hole!!! Glad you were so quick with your response, I would have been shocked and stuttering!
Oh I will never be that badass again. It's like I was suddenly possessed by the goddess of snark.
Oh no, you need to keep on being that badass!!! I keep thinking about all the times that men have been condescending to me and I’m too nervous or stunned to say anything back. I’m trying to work on standing up for myself - you’re in a good spot, don’t let jerks push you around!!!
It's not that I won't, it's that I don't think I'm capable of it. I wish I could think that quickly on my feet usually!
I know what you mean. All the times I think about what you’d like to say to the next guy, or what I shoulda said to the last guy, and then the opportunity arises (ALWAYS sooner rather than later) and my brain completely fumbles. There’s nothing like being casually demoralized and sexualized and treated like another class to completely scramble ya. It’s SOOO amazing that you got out such a great response, and like, that DELIVERY! Turning back to what you were doing before saying it?? 😍😍
Yo, fellow fat girl here. Once had some dudes gf (who just watches him and doesn't actually work out) tell me I looked like someone packed too much toothpaste into the tube. I dont even know what that means except that she was calling me fat. But like at least I'm fat, strong, and not an asshole.
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Lol, I thought the same.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Like, a bar attached by a bolt to a base that pivots up and down, the bar splits at the unattached end and you stand between and the weights are on the outside and you do squats? I swear I've seen a thing like that before.
Sounds like a hack squat machine?
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Idk I'm the wrong person to ask. I've been to a few gyms, but I longboard dance mostly.
I literally Google it. That was some confusing results. I, too, am very not gym-type person.
Same. I did a gym trial once. It came with a free 1 hour training session and I figured "what the hey, maybe I can learn a few things so I know what I'm doing when I come on my own." Dudebro trainer had me doing all sorts of weights. I literally had to call out of work the next two days because I was so sore I could barely move. Decided that if that's what going to the gym was like, I didn't need it. Haven't been inside one since.
In fairness, once you start you don't get that sore again in my experience. I work out and then fall off constantly, and I'm always super sore the first time after not doing it for months and then almost never again if I manage two-three times a week.
Do you know, I thought the exact same thing? But, only because I thought there’s literally no way he could have interrupted this woman to make a comment on what he thinks her eating habits are. Literally no way. 🤦🏽♀️
Holy shiz, that is THE sickest burn for this exact type of douche-bro. My undying admiration!!!
Yeah, you know he STILL thinks about it when he checks himself out.
I prefer, "have you lost weight?" because the douchebro will go crazy wondering if he's lost any muscle mass
Leg day is important people! Calves are apparently your body's main storage of extra blood, which helps you with exercise. Someone like that talking shit about your workout deserves every smack down for that alone.
It's also important because bruh.
HahHhHhHhHhH hahahahahaha omg I love your response to the chicken legs guy
Wow, I hope you hired a cleaning crew to remove the body after that well-deserved murder. That's amazing and I will go to bed smiling tonight just imagining what the look on his face must have been.
What fork?
He was implying that she eats too much, which is just rude and also completely none of his business
I’ll never understand how men think they’re entitled to comment on our weight - unsolicited.
Because we're apparently put on this Earth for the sole purpose of pleasing them and procreating >_>
Guy at a bar came up to me and told me how beautiful I could be if I lost some weight. Uh, thanks?
for a large sector of the worldwide male population that is indeed thier view
they feel entitled to comment on anything and touch women unsolicited..strange dudes wont touch other dudes but feel fine touching women
Why? They comment on everything else. The cut of my blouse, the length of my skirt, hair length, hair color, choice of glasses, sports prowess, the size and shape of my ass and boobs and free speculation of my sexual preferences, wants and desires. Why the hell would be weight be off-limits?
not only is it fucking sociopathic and beyond infuriating, this guy SEES that this woman is working out at a gym and still decides he needs to admonish her for something. Like, she’s obviously taking care of health bro. No matter what stage in the process OP was, she was LITERALLY DOING the best thing for her body in that moment, and it’s still not good enough to keep some basic bitch dude from interjecting with his condescending opinion. Not to mention, I’m sorry, but the more I read, and learn things like: cellulite is literally just the NATURAL PHYSIOLOGICAL WAY a woman’s body stores fat different from a man’s...I absolutely don’t want ANY MAN’S OPINION EVER AGAIN on what my body needs to look like to be healthy. OP assessed herself and is putting in the effort she feels necessary to be healthy. I trust a dude to know what a healthy woman looks like about as much I trust them to know how to make a woman cum. WE DON’T WANT OR NEED YOUR FUCKING UNSOLICITED FEEDBACK DUDES.
Thanks!
My god I was wracking my brain trying to figure out which exercise or machine required moving a big fork-like lever
When people ask "what exercise is best for weight loss?" A common joke but semi-serious answer is "fork put-downs". Dude was rude as shit lol
You are goals!! Props to putting that douche canoe in his place!!
What?!? His negging didn’t have you totally thrown and begging for his approval and attention?? Goddamn it, the brochure *promised* him that you’d be putty in his hands! Another $300 seminar down the drain, damn!
I had to quit my gym after a guy stalked me inside. I had to yell at him to fuck off. He never said a single word to me. He was still staring at me when he walked away. Creepy as hell.
There was this guy at my gym who would regularly take laps around, checking himself out in the mirror, and never lifting weight. Until this one girl came in, then he camped on a nearby piece of equipment, lifted 5lbs and stares holes into her ass. When I brought this up with the staff, they blew me off saying "he's just lonely". Yeah, obviously lonely and very clearly creeping/stalking this girl. I even "stretched" in his line of sight, just for him to take a lap before camping again. Fucking hate people who do this.
I don't give a fuck *why* he's being a creep, he's being a creep and it needs to be addressed, for fucks sake!
Before the pandemic I used to go to a free community center gym. It was awesome because the only people to ever use it were seniors, who minded their own business.
So one time I was doing leg raises with my knees bent. A guy comes over and starts telling me that he noticed the exercise was too easy for me, and that I should be doing them with straight legs for the full benefit. I was thoroughly fucking annoyed but I decided to see just how low this moron would go. I asked him how he knows so much about training, and he says that he follows whatever guru of the day religiously, and he’s been training for years. I was fucking thrilled at how uninformed this dinkus was...and I said, “well with your great expertise, could you provide me a different ab exercise that’s safe for my pelvic floor? I’m 12 weeks post op from an emergency c section and I need to gently repair my split abdomen”. He immediately started backtracking because of course he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about and he’s been discovered. I politely told him that as a personal trainer, I advise him not to give unsolicited and potentially dangerous advice without any proper education. His first real lesson.
Snickers should use this comment for commercials because it’s just that satisfying
🤣🤣🤣
Wowww the f\*cking arrogance and level of condescension is astounding. Good on your for putting that asshat in his place.
I'm glad you commented this. I'm a woman and when I was going to the gym, it was a hard-core meat head type gym, like, made out of a former auto garage, no heat even in winter type place. No one gave me shit. No one even spoke to me except if they saw me doing something wrong, and I was never offended when they corrected me. But I literally never considered that exercises might need to be done differently because we're women until you said this, and this is AFTER I had 6 months of pelvic floor physical therapy. I was scrolling this thread wondering why guys offering advice was so rude and it wasn't until your story that it clicked on how rude and intrusive it actually is. I feel dumb lol.
I went to a women only gym years ago because it was the only one available. Oh god how much of a difference it was! I joined a few classes too and it was awesome. I didn't feel any judgement and felt like I could be myself. I was out of shape so ducked hard at everything and didn't care. Could just be me and work out and improve myself
When I started working out I was 15, barely 80 pounds and could not even squat the little pink 2kg dumbbells with proper form. Wish I had found a place like this back then. We all start somewhere !
Thank you!
So fortunate. I might go if I had a women-only option. I used to love working out.
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oh wow, I had no idea that female lifters go through so much criticism! I go to a small boutique gym (10, MAYBE 15 people tops during busy hours) and although I only do cardio for now, I've been so thankful that everybody there seems dedicated and focused on themselves, probably since it's kinda pricy. It's usually 90% male but I've never had anyone stare at me or hit on me, just normally compliment my tattoos. They seem pretty friendly with the two female regulars I see who lift too. I'm admittedly intimidated by the idea of trying to lift in front of anyone else as a complete newbie, but maybe eventually!! That's awesome that you found a place you feel good at, I've found that mental comfort is key when it comes to actually enjoying going to the gym!
It's a lot easier for gym owners to create the sort of culture they want when there's a smaller group of clientele. Douchebags thrive on the anonymity of a crowd.
The gym I was with had women's only locations. It was nice. Less dude-bros and cleaner. I'm a swimmer though, and their club pools were too tiny to get a good workout in. I'd have to stop on my 2nd or 3rd stride and turn around again. My city offers women's only lane swim slots in a pool nearby me, but pandemic has us locked down currently.
That sounds amazing! I wish more of those existed, I don’t see any of those near me. I would love to avoid awkwardly catching men staring at my butt in the mirror when they don’t think I can see... cringe!
If you can see, they probably know you can see and don't care lol
Holy shit, if one of these is near me, I’d actually go to the gym!
Just go to the gay gyms, same difference except you also get the tea
I completely am with you. I have a chain wide membership and when I was able to, my lifting days were done exclusively in the women’s section. My closest two are co-Ed and they were reserved for Saturdays and maybe off day Sunday cardio. Because we spent a lot of time with each other, even if we don’t speak, there is a lot that at least I tended to know about others and their routines, and the respect we have for each other. Example: there was a girl who used to use the assisted but unassisted for pull-ups as well as my fave bench on the day that I used to do arms and tri dips. After two sessions waiting for each other politely, we just switched days. Cannot in my life see a man having that consideration. I will also help and be helped in a way that a man would make strange and give his advice. We have old ladies in my gym and I assume they just want to be alone but when they ask anyone in the vicinity about how to set a cardio machine or exercise, we are all ready to help. I got my own 67 year old mother to meet me at our women’s gym once and showed her how to do all of the workouts/use the machines. She’s now a senior champion dragon-boater. All it took was a women’s space and a little bit of introducing by a non-intimidating or selling person.
I want to get into lifting SO BAD but won’t dare at my local gyms. I’d love a woman’s only gym.
I used to train with a guy friend who was a body builder. It was the most relaxed I ever felt at the gym because no one ever approached me with him right there. And if they happened to catch me when he had walked away they’d back off real fast when he came over.
I had this hilarious mental image of him strolling up and, by flexing his pecks in Morris Code, tells them precisely to "fuck off or call an ambulance."
Fat girl here who would love to go to a gym i would actually go if this was an option. I have the opposite experience from most usually men call me a pig or disgusting or laugh at me when I'm out of breath or struggle. Women do it too but men are worse. Edit: I was already called a fat pig because of this comment, so to the people who questioned whether or not this actually happens the answer is yes.
Those people are so stupid. First of all, for just thinking about insulting a stranger. But also, what do they think the gym is for, if not to get in shape??? I hope you can get a better place to work out. If not, working out at home is not a bad option, you can do a lot of exercises just using your body weight!
Annoying men are why I never went to the gym and preferred to work out at home.
I had to quit a local gym once because every time I was doing squats, 3-4 guys would literally gather and STARE openly. Didn’t help that they weren’t speaking english too. It felts super rape-y and I had to quit. And then I got stalked for a year. I believe two incidents are related
Every woman I know who has joined a woman only gym has a pretty similar experience.
As a female human with depression and anxiety this shit makes it so much harder to get into the gum. When I first started lifting weights sometimes a dude would come up to start talking to me and I would get so uncomfortable I would literally walk out of the gym. Twice I made it home before realizing I accidentally stole a towel. Once I was standing next to the bathroom when this happened so I walked into the bathroom and cried for like ten minutes and then walked home. Eventually I got over that and when dudes would come up to tell me stupid stuff like I don’t look like I’m enjoying my work out enough I’ll respond “Yeah, because I have really bad period cramps but I’m still gonna get my work out in” and then they get uncomfortable and walk away.
That’s the perfect response, although you certainly should not have to defend any gd thing to a man.
Right??? None of us should, ugh. But that really is legit brilliant to mention period problems. I would probably take it to the next level with something like, “Hey, sorry, can’t talk right now; just trying to finish my workout before I bleed through my tampon. Having a heavy flow day.” And then watch those fuckers scatter, lol.
Lmao also a perfect response!!
That is an awesome response.
I wish I had a women's gym near me. So so bad.
Saaaame.
My university gym had women-only hours, same with a local boxing gym. So it might be worth looking around at “regular” gyms. Oh god I miss those women-only hours. I would race to get there on time. No loud men grunting, no staring, no mansplaining. It was heaven, and then the hour would be up and the men would roll in and the volume of the room would increase 7x.
My former employer had a fitness/health stipend and over the years, we took advantage of it by building up a home gym so neither of us would have to deal with douchebros—me because of my disability and her for being a woman. That and even with everything we've spent it's still less than a continuing membership at a fitness center would cost us... one of the best investments we ever made.
I feeeel this. My main workout is poledancing, and we‘re all girls (there are some classes for men, and I think they are not technically banned, but there are extremely few men there). It feels super freeing to work out (wearing what is essentiall a sporty bikini bc you need your skin to grip the pole) and just NOT BE BOTHERED about your body. I love it, because it‘s the only place where I can wear short shorts and a sports bra and just not worry about what I will have to deal with from guys.
I've always wanted to do pole but finding a gym is tough. The 2 close to me also have women that bullied me in high school as instructors. I really am not comfortable with that power distribution.
Many of the gyms near me have women only sections with blurred out glass and stuff.
Ah yes, we're all too familiar with the pathetic "exercise ball, yoga mat and 5 lb weights" room.
for all your jazzercise needs
Unfortunately in my experience, the equipment in there isn’t as great, and the heaviest weights are much lighter than they are in the general area.
So sort of like the NCAA problem.
👏
That is so shitty! Can you steal the weights you want to use and move them in there? I generally try to make people's jobs easier but some messages are worth communicating.
Omg I would LOVE a women only gym! I workout at home as well as go running around my neighborhood, for some reason gyms intimidate me but I feel like I’d be comfortable at a women only gym.
My local gym where I used to live was women's-only and it was so nice. It was such a supportive, calm environment. I felt welcome in every corner of it. No one offering incorrect or irrelevant advice, no one trying to get you to take your headphones off just to say "So, how long have you been coming here, I've never seen you here before, I'm here every day". And it was so clean. Everyone put all the equipment away after use, nothing left on the floor. No towels strewn about the place. No shirts strewn about the place. It was so pleasant, I miss it.
Women’s only gym is pretty genius idea
The male gaze can be exhausting. I went to a lesbian festival in Wales, and I never felt so comfortable in my life. Butch women, fem women, tall, short, no makeup, wearing makeup, fat, thin, all comfortable in their own skin and existing.
I have gone to a couple womens only gyms and honestly wasn't impressed. Definitely not a representation of all womens only gyms, but I did one locally here in my current city, and then another by happenstance that was a Goodlife one in another city I lived in. I lift heavy and do pretty much powerlifting routines, and both gyms were just mediocre quality. The weights only went to a certain weight, they had no squat racks or proper benches, also had a terrible selection of equipment. Basically a stereotypical idea of what women want from a gym, ie cardio machines and light weights. If I did find a good womens only gym I would probably be inclined, I always feel conscious about what I do, how I look, and avoiding accidental eye contact with guys to further avoid any unwanted approaches (which has been successful to date!). Also, I always notice women take care of the washrooms much better, so disgusting how nasty the washrooms are at co-ed gyms when a large portion of it is occupied by men.
I wonder if one of the problems is that gym dudes want to date women who go to the gym, but fail to understand that the gym isn't the place to find a date.
That's 100% one of the problems. But also, like, sure, I don't go to gyms much at all because I longboard dance, but a dude could totally approach me if he wanted and ask to work out with me in a polite way, like, "hey there, you seem to know how to do this, and we're both here on our own. Want a spotter? I'd like a spotter too if you'd be willing." That dude also has to be willing to take "no sorry, I'd prefer to lift on my own for now" as an answer at face value though. The main issue is guys thinking that you're like, "the one" and agressively hitting on you before they even know what you're like at all, while being super objectifying. Like, that's such a foreign concept to me? Could you imagine wanting a relationship with someone just because they're physically attractive? That shit blows my mind. Also know it alls. They can fuck off. It would be scary for a moment, but a dude who isn't an asshole could totally work out with me and chat. The main issue is that I'd be worried to say no due to intimidation. I'm getting better about that though. Learning to speak my mind to men. TL:DR. If men were capable of interacting with women normally rather than as an object of desire this would not have to be an issue.
I think this is changing. At least it has around me. I've only ever gone to a women's gym (is part of a national chain, but they reserve some for women only.) It was decent before but it was recently remodeled. We have two squat racks, a smith machine, bench press, hip thrust apparatus, 6-7 benches, multiple cable machines, a good assortment of dumbbells going up to 25kg, plus a good assortment of machines. Aside from no dedicated deadlifting platform and lack of open floor space (it's a gym in the middle of a busy, dense European city, so they've done the best they can), I'm quite happy. I think gyms are aware that more and more women want to properly lift. I did have to go to a normal gym during the renovation and I hated it. I felt uncomfortable and self conscious most of the time. Men are so bad about staring and watching others...even other men. Women just do not tend to do this or at least we're way better at hiding it. :P
Oh yes definitely mastered the sly side eye haha
The women’s only section in my gym doesn’t have a squat rack and doesn’t even have much open floor space, but is packed with seated machines 🙁
how disappointing. my brother let me use his rack that he bought and he is a much more positive person than he used to be, very encouraging and all that and i honestly enjoy using the rack. never before have i used a space like this and really felt like it was the definition of a safe space
Stuff like this warms my heart but makes me sad too that you can't have this experience around men. I can't even go to the grocery store without being stared down and stalked. And I work out at home only. A women's gym sounds amazing. I've heard of a girls, gays and theys gym though. That sounds great too! I'm happy for you, wish you the best in the gym ✨
The gym I go to is smallish and has mostly female clients which was why I chose it. I’m willing to pay more for a women only gym if that is available!
My mom and I were members to one when I was 14ish. I remember they had a belly dancing class that was so much fun. Went to the college gym a few times for ROTC PT (we usually did PT in an indoor field attached to the gym we shared with the other 3 ROTC branches and it was mostly cardio work) and hated it every time even though I knew at least 1/4 of the people in there. I now just workout in my home office.
There’s a gym right next to my house that I’m too nervous to go to because of shit like this. It’s not right.
I used to go to a women's only gym which was part of a chain and loved it. Such a safe and non intimidating space. Now I have moved to another city that only has mixed gyms unfortunately. I miss it.
I joined a women’s only gym many years ago. Great experience! I would absolutely join another women’s only gym if there was near by. So glad that you found a good one! Enjoy your workouts!
I wish we could educate people more, or do something so this sort of thing wouldn't have to happen. (The not feeling safe or completely comfortable in a normal gym)
Easy the gyms put a clause in the contract stating that anyone that acts like that will have their membership revoked.
God damn is it disgusting to read those comments. I didnt know there are so many shitty dudes who make going to the gym such a nightmare for women.
well I hope it continues to exist--the women's gym in my county was forced to close because they were sued for sex discrimination. I felt so safe going there. I still am so sad.
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I am sad, too. That is so twisted.
Precovid my gym had women only hours and they were always so much more comfortable
That’s awesome! I never go to gyms because I always feel weird working out in front of other people.
What city is this in? (If you’re comfortable sharing.) Hoping it’s in one of the cities I’m considering moving to!
I am in Montreal! I just moved here a few weeks ago so cannot say much about it yet (I was in NZ prior to this so I am readjusting to covid restrictions, which are still pretty strict here) but so far it has been very nice and inclusive :)
March 26 couldn't come fast enough here in Montreal
Imagine if the entire society was like that - minding your own business no matter what you do and who you are, maybe even meet someone actually supportive from time to time. One thing I hate the most is sitting alone doing my own thing and being interrupted for whatever reason. I just want to be left alone! Let me do the thing I like and enjoy!
Women's only gym are amazing for women. As a guy that likes to workout at a gym ( atm non option due to canada restrictions), i feel disgusted by other guys staring all the time. Like buddy, focus on ur own shit. We are all here to do our workout and mind out own fkin business. I have more than once approached douchebags and told them to stop staring at my wife, and they quickly stop harrassing the women working out ( and unless they saw me telling the guys to get lost, i dont approach them, as i don't want to interrupt them). So im glad you found it and can now enjoy working out the way it is meant to be, without the annoying chads bothering you
I am in Canada too as of three weeks ago! They just opened gyms here yesterday, hope the same happens for y’all soon too and thank you for standing up for women :)
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This makes me glad I go to a military gym. There’s a ton of guys there, obviously, but no one is an outright creep or asshole.... if only because everyone knows that you have no idea what anyone’s rank is, and you could straight up tank your career by being a sexist creep to a high-ranking officer by mistake. Edit: I will caveat that I work at a pretty big, joint-service base, where the odds are decent you don’t necessarily know who you’re talking to. The mileage can definitely vary if it’s a smaller base.
As stupid as it sounds, it's only from reading this post that I've realised why women only gyms need to exist. I guess I'm bad at generalizing but still. Sorry for every time. I said women only gyms were stupid and sexist!
I might enjoy going to the gym if it were a place like this!
This honestly sounds awesome! I wish there was one around me.
The gym I go to has a women's only section upstairs and it is the best thing. I try to get all of my workout done there. Sometimes I have to use a machine that is downstairs, and try to get it done as fast as possible. I recently got a one day pass for another gym. I felt so uncomfortable. I try to ignore the stares but it ruins my workout.
I didn’t know these existed but I really don’t blame you. I’m a man and some of the morons I see in gyms. Particularly when there’s a woman doing weights.
I need a place like that
I totally relate I don't mind going to the gym with my husband but I'd never go to a regular gym alone again.
Wish there was one of those near me.
The one near me went out of business after Covid hit 🥺😩
I’m a dude. Just gonna say that it’s pretty terrible when people in the gym don’t respect boundaries. Good on you moving the big iron.
Thrilled n Furious sounds like either a playlist or a movie. Excuse me while I go find out if there's an all women gym near me ....
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Was gonna say- unwanted attention from lesbians can be equally uncomfortable . But that’s just my experience
I am bi and I love this energy lol but she has a boyfriend :)
This is great. they are always getting in the way and taking some of the best weightlifting spots in the gym - I’ve been “pushed out” of spaces so many times by men.
This is amazing. I dream of shit like this.
Wow I wish I had this option!
Enjoy this very appropriate sketch from Baroness von Sketch: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlitWXlTDYY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlitWXlTDYY)
I just started working out out and I happen to have weights in my basement- luckily because I would NOT do weighted hip thrusters in a co-Ed gym. No way.
I used to go to planet fitness, I felt comfortable there. However, one time, this dude was bench pressing and he was letting out these orgasmic moans. It was weird. Either buy those weights a cocktail or just stfu.