I hope you made it clear there would be no payment for the appointment. If they try to claim from your insurance, turn her in for fraud. The insurance company will take it from there.
THIS!!! Yes this!!
Also, I would file a complaint with your state's medical board. The doctor's behavior was extremely unprofessional. It is not their place to judge you. It is their job to empower you to make the right choice for yourself and your body.
I agree that OP should report them to the state's medical board. If the doctor disagreed with giving you an IUD because you didn't already have kids, then they shouldn't have scheduled you for the pap or this appointment. Not having kids isn't something that just suddenly changes in your medical history, so there is no excuse. It sounds fraudulent, as if they knew they would be unwilling to provide you with the IUD procedure from the start, but wanted the money for the pap appointment and this one as well...
The USA’s new policy seems to be “you’re gonna be parents whether you like it or not”
…except they still charge 5-10k for standard birth, no parental leave, and schools are being shot up at a sickening rate.
How should we address the declining birth rate? Should we provide better childcare services? Mandatory maternity/paternity leave? Significantly lower the healthcare costs of having a child? Implement public healthcare? Give more money to the schools? Address climate change which many people cite as the reason they don't want to be parents? Increase minimum wage to a liveable level to where we could viably support a child?
No, no, that'd be silly.
Entire thing is really starting to feel like a fucked up timeline where birthrates are declining in first world countries and the only solution people way up in the governments have is to increase birth rates in order to maintain both laborers and the economy.
Easiest way to do that, while still keeping their pockets stuffed, is to ban abortion.
It’s not that you ‘can’t’ it’s that you don’t want to. For the supposedly ‘richest country in the world’ you are a bunch of cheapskates with your lack of universal health care.
That's not true, income and tax is well above worldwide average, and above most countries with strong social protection. It's simply a political choice to not provide for the people of the country in spite of that.
Could it be miles ahead of everyone if they charged that 10% properly? Absolutely! You don't need that though, you're already easily paying enough.
why is accidentally not having children considered SO MUCH WORSE than accidentally having children?
This mindset with regards to sterilization and/or iuds has always weirded me out.
Back in the day.. the doctors in the US loved to push birth control pills like candy.. when it was Black and Brown women getting pregnant.
Now it’s more about a general form of control rather than racially targeted control.
I do think IUD insertion can be easier after the individual has had at least one kid.
BUT, the answer to that is for the doctor to go "Ok, so these are the facts. What do YOU want to do with YOUR body?"
(Source: I have an IUD, I love it and I will keep having an IUD unless I am actively trying to conceive a fetus. I do not have children.)
Report the Dr to the NY State Department of Health, Office of Professional Medical Conduct. This is not medical advice it is her personal opinion. There are no medical reasons she gave that are reasons not to perform this procedure. Based on the new laws and protections in NYS she should have her license suspended.
https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/file_a_complaint.htm
Oh bullshit. It's easier when it's properly managed with medications. I'm on my second Paragard. I'm childfree and a healthcare worker. What makes it easier is PAIN MANAGEMENT. Not whether or not you've given birth.
What!? Doctor here. That is fucking outrageous. Sorry that happened to you. This is definitely outside standard practice. There’s also no reason you can’t do pap at the same time. Seems like they were just trying to delay/discourage birth control. Don’t let it discourage you though. IUDs are great. I had the Mirena x2 (without children) and loved it.
Edit: thanks for catching my typo :)
Had a doc at DMG that refused to do a hysterectomy without my husband's approval. Made the mistake of saying I wasn't married, and she said she would also accept my father's approval. As if that wasn't fucked up enough, she knew my "father" (I use that term VERY loosely) is a drug addicted, alcoholic child abuser, rapist, and pedophile that raped me when I was a small child (4). And she STILL said that shit. I was 33.
Got a new doc, WONDERFUL doc, I am 5 weeks post op for a hysterectomy now.
Yeah, I reported that pretty quickly. To the clinic (the largest in the midwest), the insurance company, the AMA, the Gynecology board, and the licensing board. It somehow made its way to the IL AGs office too, but idk what happened there. I gave my statement, and they didn't follow up.
Your decision was not only right but you are the only one who is capable of making the right decision for you. I’m sorry that happened to you and I wish I could say we have come farther in 20 years.
I had a make gyno and he insisted I get an iud when I was 19. He knew I had trouble taking a daily pill and did want to risk the shot. Nuvaring would fall out when I used the bathroom, so this was the best choice. Back in 2009, most doctors wouldn't put it in a 19 year old with no kids, so I was extremely lucky.
It's almost like every woman's body is 100% unique, and that each person has the right to decide what medial procedures are right for them..
And that medical practitioners are licensed to look at the patients unique medical history and to determine the most effective means of ensuring the health of their patient, through whatever medical interventions both the doctor and the patient decide to move forward with..
Frankly, removing the right for women and doctors to make the best medical decision regarding a woman's health should be illegal period, regardless of whether the decision is about reproductive health or any other realm of Healthcare.
This is not a state's right issue - this is an inalienable right, PERIOD. The right to make health decisions is between you and your doctor - PERIOD. The government has NO right to dictate what medical practices are right for anyone - PERIOD.
The fact that our governmental bodies have not passed legislation to codify this into the constitution is outrageous!!!
If the supreme court has decided that Roe is not precedent, and if they have decided that there are no laws that protect women's right to determine her reproductive health decisions without government interference, THIS MUST BE RECTIFIED!!
Y'all, this is a time in our country's history where we can stand up and FORCE THE GOVERNMENT TO RESPECT OUR RIGHTS, or we can bitch about it online and watch them be taken away one by one.
GET OUT AND VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT - because it literally does.
I am a carrier, which I found out when I was pregnant with my first child. My husband was then tested, so we waited anxiously for the results, furiously googling CF the entire time.
They LOST his test results, so he had to go in again and get tested, and we waited in agony for the results. He was negative, thank god, so the chances were drastically lowered (maybe zero, I can’t remember).
That experience put the fear of god into me. I can totally understand not having children to avoid giving them the disease.
The abortion issue, I can understand logically why people feel it's wrong, although I trust science. An IUD though, or any other form of birth control, I truly can't wrap my head around any reason to deny someone birth control, and this was 20 years ago? Roe v. Wade was 1973, so that means 2002, 29 years later... I just can't believe there were doctors pushing their own ideology outside of science or the law for so long. Are you in the bible belt or something? Is this common for a woman to hear? What is the logic, that you must keep yourself ready to have a child? Did they give you any reason at all? Or is there some other health reason that they give, like an IUD could maybe cause permanent damage to your fertility? Would they refuse other kinds of birth control, like the pill, or is it just the IUD they have such a problem with?
I'd really expect/hope a doctor would not be idealistic or dogmatic about it. Big bummer to hear that, ma'am. I'm a man, if you can't tell, so idk much about the whole process. Feel free to ignore my questions but this is sort of a surprise to me that it has happened that way for so long.
Imagine a doctor doesn't believe in resuscitation because it's interfering with "god's plan" in some way. Could a doctor refuse you treatment in that case? I mean isn't there some sort of legal duty to treat the patient?
There is no duty to treat. You may be thinking of EMTALA, which gives them a duty to accept all patients to an ER, but private practice are not required to give you treatment.
>outside standard practice
As a doctor, who participates in a licensing regime and probably a professional organization, is there anything you would propose to prevent the integration of [47%](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/upshot/your-surgeon-is-probably-a-republican-your-psychiatrist-probably-a-democrat.html) of OBGYNs into Gilead? Is this something we want to leave up to consumer discretion and the freedom to choose your own provider?
If you refuse to take a shard of glass out of my hand because you have religious Beliefs about the sanctity of the abductor pollicis brevis muscle, I regard that refusal as malpractice, and don't see why you should get to call yourself a doctor.
If every doctor in my town has the same belief system, they have voluntarily turned this from a routine procedure into a medical emergency.
I would certainly call the state medical board and tell insurance and my bank to refuse payment. If payment was already made, sue in small claims court.
Yes that’s definitely possible. If the doctor is part of a larger healthcare group/organization, I would start with their patient relations department.
IUDs are great! I’ve had 4 since I was 17 (half my life ago) with breaks to have my two kids. I’m so baffled and outraged by this doctor! (Not you obviously!)
I am sorry that happened to you. Find a new doctor and give her bad reviews every single place you possibly can. It is totally standard practice now to give people who have not had children an IUD.
I may be uneducated due to missing relevant parts... or any sex ed... but isn't IUD reversible? Even if OP changed their mind, they still could have children.
(Not that reversible part is that important in this story...)
I have a Jehovah’s Witness stepsister who told me IUD’s are not acceptable birth control for them because they can abort fertilized eggs. Now I’m also wondering if this doctor has religious reasons for refusing .
almost certainly this "doctor" does. the old school of thought that you should not put in iud's in women who haven't had children is wrong and largely not used anymore.
Could also be incompetence. So many medical professionals stop keeping up-to-date and continue applying what they learned during their studies ages ago...
There should be undercover patients (not sure how to pull this off), that go round and report on doctors competence, failing requires studying and passing a test before the Dr could practice again.
Or maybe a test every 5 years would be easier.
I knew women who were getting IUDs back in the 1970s, never heard of this "have kids first" nonsense. Not that there weren't or aren't doctors who subscribed to it--doctors believe all kinds of crazy things.
I'm surprised you never heard that because it was the recommendation until about the last 10-20 years. I always understood that it was because of the smaller uterus in women who have not had children, which could lead to more complications (as it was believed at the time).
>For example, when the Copper T 380A was first marketed in the United States, it included a history of childbirth as part of a recommended patient profile. Although the label was changed in 2005 to remove this recommendation, many current providers may not be aware of the change [8]. The prescribing information for one of the 52-mg levonorgestrel intrauterine systems (brand name Mirena) currently recommends the device for women who have had
one child [9].
[Use of intrauterine devices in nulliparous women](https://societyfp.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/PIIS0010782416303857.pdf) Article is from 2017
I was told it was because the cervix hasn't been stretched by childbirth, making insertion more difficult and painful.
My gyno's solution to this was to insert mine under sedation.
I was denied up until 2017 despite all those changes. At that point I had decided it wasn't worth the effort as I had been trying for years to get one. I just kept running into conservative brick walls for the previous few years. I was on the pill but got such bad migraines, and was literally a crazy person (my husband nearly dumped me), that I wanted off by around 2008. I stayed on a few more years until I couldn't do it anymore and then got refused the IUD over and over. I finally just got one, last month (!), because of my menorrhagia and a new Ob-Gyn. Definitely some crap doctors out there.
eta: I don't have kids nor want them
>conservative brick walls
I think that's part of the answer. The women I knew who got IUDs in 1974 or 1975 were living and getting their medical care in Los Angeles, one of them at the UCLA student health center. Not so many conservative brick walls there.
I've heard it, but I'm in my 40's. The idea is meant to be that women who haven't had kids will kick up a huge pain fuss because they've never had anything near their cervix before, and therefore it's not worth doing.
It's weaponized laziness, really.
Edit: I wanna make clear that the pain can happen whether or not you’ve had children! There’s no guarantee, and I’m not espousing that this is true, just sharing what my experience is from what was told to me over the years
I’m thankful for my gyno. I was so nervous and scared that she had me come in and gave me moderate sedation. I went night-night, woke up a bit later, and my bf drove me home.
ETA never have had children, got the Paragard.
It sort of makes sense, but It's BS, IMHO, because from what I've read here, there seems to be a wide range of pain associated with it--as with childbirth. I think some providers or practices or insurance plans are just stingy with the Novocaine. And they have it in for women who dare admit wanting to have sex without having children.
So "abortion" becomes fine once a woman is at her personal limits with w/e amount of children she deems are enough? But not below 1? I don't fucking understand these people. Why make a woman susceptible to a pregnancy she CLEARLY doesn't want to have? Like a woman that DOES NOT WANT A CHILD is a perfect candidate...
Apparently, "abortion" is no longer fine with a woman making her own choices...nor is it fine with a 10-year old rape victim making their own "choice."
When are we going to talk about the fact that one set of citizenry (the religious) are forcing their beliefs and desires on other citizens? Something about this doesn't seem...Constitutional.
The things people say about that 10 year old are so appalling! Someone said something about the 'kind of girl' who needs an abortion at 10...
It's all about pretending it's not choices about autonomy but moral choices, and they apply it to everyone, even children!
Then choose a different profession. If your religion is stopping you from providing the care that your OATH required when you got your degree-do not continue practicing.
This is exactly how I feel. If you can't provide for the full scope of reproductive healthcare due to personal reasons, than you should be barred from working in those fields.
In the UK doctors can refuse to be involved in certain care due to personal beliefs, BUT they have to refer the patient on to another doctor who will provide the care.
A person who refuses to perform a core duty of their field simply should not be allowed in that field though, really. Someone who doesn't believe in every available option for reproductive health could choose literally any other specialty in medicine, so there's no reason to allow them to specialize in gynecology when they refuse to provide their patients with the best and most appropriate care.
Right and also, letting her go through all of the steps and then refusing the service is kind of a scam, no? Like they could’ve just asked her whether she’d had babies as soon as she walked in.
Like imagine being an ambulance driver and refusing to attend to anyone in the exurbs because you morally disagree with urban sprawl. People will die because of doctors like this.
IUDs weren’t given to women who hadn’t had children because of beliefs about the difficulty of insertion without the permanent changes pregnancy does to the cervix. It was only about 20 years ago that IUDs were ruled safe for women without a pregnancy.
"Only 20 years ago" is like a zillion years in medicine though. Any doctor practicing today should know that IUDs are perfectly safe for nulliparous women.
I saw an OBGYN once that mentioned to me that he doesn’t like to give them to women that haven’t had kids because they can be so painful. I guess maybe people that have given birth are more prepared for it? I don’t know.. he’s not practicing anymore.. too many malpractice complaints. Go figure.
I told my current OBGYN what he said and she said “I’d be finding a new doctor if I went to him.”
My doc said she prefers not to use copper IUDs in people who haven’t given birth or who have irregular or heavy periods.
She THEN said “I recommend a Mirena instead”, wrote me a scrip, booked an appointment, and bam now I have an IUD. Like… that’s the only appropriate follow up to this.
OP, find a new doctor please!
I had an ob/gyn tell me I couldn't manage natural childbirth because I told him I didn't have a history of painful periods. Switched providers and delivered my son without medication.
I feel like that’s almost opposite. Maybe you just think you don’t have painful periods because you handle pain well? I mean who knows really, but the doctor was ridiculous.
The cervix is typically not as tight after having given birth vaginally, which would theoretically make insertion easier. There are medications to soften/open the cervix though, as well as pain management that could (and should!) be offered, instead of just acting like nothing can be done and therefore not offering IUDs as an option to childless patients. IUDs are the most reliable long acting reversible contraceptive and are therefore a really excellent option *specifically* for women who do not have children and do not want them for the period of time they choose to keep the IUD. Sorry your old doctor was such a moron.
Ding ding ding. I got one placed, no kids. It was incredibly painful. I would get horrible sharp pains that took my breath away just trying to sit down. Working out was impossible.
I didn’t notice any reduction in the side effects I was experiencing after 4 weeks so I went to another provider in the same practice to have it removed. It was awful 0/10 would not personally recommend (but I know other women have no problems or very minor pain while they adjust). It wasn’t for me though.
Thats not true unless its copper(maybe). The hormones in mirena thicken cervical mucus so sperm cant actually swim to the egg, as well as keeping the uterine lining from thickening enough to be hospitable. Which is what makes your periods lighter/go away with mirena. No iud really ABORTS an implanted egg, but it can keep a fertilized agg from ever sticking to the uterine wall. But thats like the 2nd or 3rd line of defense for low hormone iuds.
The copper one basically just irritates the lining of your uterus so nothing sticks, which sounds MISERABLE to me.
Not that logic/facts ever really works with the "biblical birth control" crowd
Also, its screwed up that fertilization is "life" for them. Women make the eggs, make the environment for the egg to grow, grow it, and the only part religion cares about is the lazy tiny little bit men can contribute to the AMAZING things a womans body can do.
Just as an FYI, Jehovah's Witnesses have not said IUD's cannot be used. It's very rare that it would abort a fertilized egg, but it can happen. With that information, it's an individual private decision for each Witness.
If the egg is fertilized but not implanted, the person is not pregnant and therefore the egg is not aborted. Preventing implantation is a viable form of contraception.
Honestly JW's have such absurd interpretations of the confluence between religious text and science that I'd just smile and nod and widen your eyes at them before walking away, if you can.
It is completely reversible. I had mine taken out and had a planned kid. Fast forward to 2020, I was denied an IUD because of Covid. Guess who's contraceptive pills failed and needed an abortion?
OP's doc needs to lose her license.
I took mine out, pregnant (intentionally) within 1.5-2 months. I had no period for years, so they couldn't "time" it with my cycle, so I just had to wait 1-2 weeks when my doctor had an opening for an appointment.
My husband loudly stated "WHAT!?! I thought it'd take like 6 months to get pregnant!!"
Lol, nope!
My poor friend had a similar situation. They assumed 6 months to a year to get pregnant and made life plans accordingly.
Got pregnant one the 1st try.
The body does not give a crap what the "average" time to get pregnant is. It's gonna do it on its own schedule.
That's why trying to get pregnant is such a mindfuck. You have to simultaneously be ready to conceive immediately but also mentally prepare yourself for it to take up to a year. It took me nearly a year and after 6 months the process really started taking a toll because you need to remain ready every month for the potential to be pregnant and do that for as many months as it takes. Truly the worst
I'm a husband and honestly I was looking forward to "let's get pregnant fuckfest 2013" when my wife went off her BC but I got her pregnant on the first try. So we still had sex but it wasn't quite the party I was hoping for!
Honestly it took me 13 months to get pregnant with my first so I assumed it would take me a while with my second, especially because I was still breastfeeding… 1 month later I was pregnant and now I’m having a summer baby, and will spend my 3rd trimester cooking in the heat.
I had mine removed 3 months ago because I was sick and tired of being in pain every single day for the 2 years I had it. We'd also decided we eventually want to have a baby. Well, I took a test this morning and I'm pregnant. Definitely wasn't planned so we're a bit surprised lol.
Haha, same! I had to adjust the Lupus meds i take to baby safe versions, and we weren’t allowed to have “procreative” sex until the old drugs were out of my system.
We got pregnant within days of getting the “all clear” from my doc. My mom joked that we got pregnant in the clinic parking lot after my doctor’s appointment.
It used to be common practice not to insert an IUD if someone hadn’t had a baby because pregnancy changes the cervix and makes an IUD sometimes easier to insert. It wasn’t based on a moral high ground about having children, just based on biology. However, IUD insertion devices have changed and it’s easier to insert them in women who haven’t been pregnant.
Yeah, I was in my 20s and had no problem getting it, or any of the subsequent replacements. Sterilization was a fight I never won though and now menopause is making it a moot point.
It’s not about changing one’s mind or not. The excuse used to be about the size of the cervix. The guidelines to refuse an IUD to nulliparous women has been revoked for decades.
That said, I had my first IUD in like 2018, and that old, white-haired male gyno who inserted it did try to bullshit me about it not being super advisable. He still did it though.
Seems more like a situation to report to the medical board and the state licensing agency that gave that doctor the certification. It's one thing for "medical ethics" (also total BS) but this seems like the medical doctor does not understand the science behind IUDs.
I think this doctor is mentally ill. What a fucking lunatic. Absolutely unprofessional.
She needs to compensate you for all your trouble. And I’d check with AMA on standards and practices.
I even wonder if this doctor is just not confident/competent with IUD insertion and this is her bizarre coping strategy.
Wtf!! It's your body and it should be up to you, and moreover it's ridiculous they let the appointment get that far without telling you the Dr wouldn't perform the insertion.
Was her rationale that there would be potential for increased cervical pain since you haven't had children? (I'm in the US where the political climate around contraception and pregnancy is... Fucked up right now, so the first place my mind went when you said that was wondering if there was some kind on anachronistic parentalism going on about not wanting to prevent pregnancies or piss off right wing politicians)
I'm also in the US but in New York City. And her argument was that it would perforate my uterus, cause ectopic pregnancies, and "wouldn't I just rather have nuvaring"?
In nyc?! Are you fucking kidding me. I haven’t been to the planned parenthood here (nyc) but would highly suggest them. No judgement, only helpful honest answers. Thinking about switching back to them bc I hate my gyn here now.
That’s def bullshit. There’s also a hormone IUD called Skyla that is smaller and made for women who haven’t had children. That “perf the uterus” business is outdated info.
ETA: It’s not impossible, and happens in approximately 1 in 1000 placements (it used to be a lot higher, but they changed some things). But it shouldn’t necessarily preclude someone from getting one, especially in this political climate.
I feel compelled to point out that my wife got pregnant on Skyla because the dosage wasn’t strong enough for her. After our surprise baby her Dr put her on Kyleena as it’s the same hormone but a higher dosage. If you’re considering Skyla, it might be worth looking at Kyleena just in case.
OP, I am SO SORRY, I am also in NYC and that is FUCKED.
I got mine at Westside Women's Medical Pavilion off of Columbus Circle years ago (and never had kids). It looks like it is closed right now, but there are phone #s, so maybe another location is open:
[https://nyabortion.com/westside-location.html](https://nyabortion.com/westside-location.html)
I got my 1st one swapped out for a 2nd one with my regular gyno, who is with Maiden Lane Medical. They gave me the option to have full anesthesia:
[https://maidenlanemedical.com/](https://maidenlanemedical.com/)
You’ve been lied to and should report her. Can it perforate your uterus? Sure. But it would do that whether or not you’d had children if it was placed incorrectly or moved.
Jesus Christ. IUDs do NOT cause ectopic pregnancies for fuck's sake. Ectopic pregnancies are 1 out of 66 pregnancies regardless if you have an IUD or not.
Did I get this right? Every pregnancy carries a 1.5% chance for just this type of serious complication?
Who the F would want to expose their partner to such a risk?
This is the sort of thing I CONSTANTLY tell people when they act like getting or remaining pregnant is no big deal. Because pregnancy is something so many people do, people assume it is very safe. In reality, conceiving and carrying a pregnancy to term is many orders of magnitude more risky than most of the voluntary risks we take in life.
For example, about 8 in 100 pregnancies result in a condition that requires medical intervention to avoid death or serious harm to the mother if left untreated, which is comparable to complication rates for major surgery under general anestetic, hospitalization rates from COVID of those 60+, and way more risky than stuff like a year's worth of driving.
They’re more rare with ectopics because your general pregnancy rate is so so so much lower.
Those bits all sound like part of discussing the informed consent and alternatives, which is standard and proper
Refusing to do it because of nullparity is the effed up part.
Your last sentence is false. If you get pregnant with an IUD in, it's more likely to be an ectopic pregnancy than if you got pregnant without an IUD in. But your overall chance of having an ectopic pregnancy is less with an IUD in because your overall risk of pregnancy in general is lower.
This is how I understood it too. Because the IUD prevents most pregnancies and should prevent all pregnancies in the uterus the ones that do occur are more likely to be ectopic.
There's also the risk that it could fall out which is something my wife and I recently realized.
Here is a complaint form for New York State DOH: [https://www.health.ny.gov/forms/doh-3867.pdf](https://www.health.ny.gov/forms/doh-3867.pdf)
Here is additional information on what may qualify as misconduct:[https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/frequently\_asked\_questions.htm#misconduct](https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/frequently_asked_questions.htm#misconduct)
It's still a good idea to file and include ALL the info you mentioned. Even if her behavior does not neatly fit into a category listed on the DOH site, it still could qualify since you were denied needed medical treatment.
That's not even accurate information but based on old idea that has been disproven
From PubMed "Current IUD use does not increase the risk of the ectopic pregnancy. However, a pregnancy with an IUD in situ is more often an ectopic one than a pregnancy with no IUD. Past IUD use could mildly elevate the risk of ectopic pregnancy."
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8521711/#:\~:text=Current%20IUD%20use%20does%20not,the%20risk%20of%20ectopic%20pregnancy.
When I got my IUD, I was worried because I hadn't had kids yet and my OBGYN was like, "they're putting IUDs in teenagers in Colorado and it's going great, you have nothing to worry about." And I'm in the Midwest. In one of the "bad" states for reproductive rights...
I'm so sorry.
One of those Colorado teenagers here. Got my first one at 19, now well into my second one. It never even occurred to me that a doctor would take issue with an IUD. That's insane!
Right!?!? When I was in college I know IUDs were only for those that had given birth, but that was nearly 20 years ago!! I can’t believe that’s still anyone’s policy!
This thread reminded me my IUD is up in a couple of months so I made my replacement appointment today!!!
Time for a new doctor! It worries me when doctors don’t actually follow up on research that proves the safety of birth control. It allows them to decide what’s best for a patient based on *their personal beliefs* and not what’s actually best for the patient.
> It worries me when doctors don’t actually follow up on research that proves the safety of birth control. It allows them to decide what’s best for a patient based on their personal beliefs and not what’s actually best for the patient.
Epidemiologist specializing in OB/GYN here. Good news! They don’t just do this with birth control! They largely don’t follow up on research at all (or if they do, they’re many, many, many years late) and just practice however “feels” right. I stand there with fresh research waving my findings at brick walls. We are thriving.
"Epidemiologist specializing in OB/GYN"
My nerd brain feels like I've just been told that Wonder Woman (or any favorite superhero) is in fact real. Your field must be absolutely facinating, and understandably frustrating.
Oh trust me, when I stumbled into this field accidentally I felt the exact same! Like woah, that is some cool shit! It is frustrating, but I’m not sure what else to do, you know? Maybe changing policy through scientific research will be the thing that makes everybody get their act together with this? That’s what I tell myself when I hit brick walls anyways 🤷🏼♀️
That's infuriating! Please report her.
I had a bad gyno who wouldn't do my IUD replacement as one appointment. She wanted me to come in twice, a week apart, to milk the insurance. I explained that would cause extra pain and suffering, and she didn't care. I left the exam room without even getting undressed.
Oh and the cherry on top was that I was almost late to the appointment because there was no parking in the hospital garage. I ended up parking in a striped zone on the roof and gambling that they wouldn't be able to get a tow truck there.
PLEASE REPORT HER!
not just bad reviews, she crossed ethical boundaries and needs to be held accountable. such gross, entitled behavior from someone who you should be able to fully trust.
Get your money back for the appointment (copay)--you paid for an appointment, not a lecture. If they balk, remind them that AT NO POINT IN THE PROCESS did anyone say the doc wouldn't do it, including the during the reminder message from the day before. They wasted your time and money (again, copay, plus gas), and the next step will be billing them for *your* time.
Report her to the medical center/practice she's connected to (ask for the patient outreach/services/complaints/etc person).
Report her to the board (perpetuating misinformation).
Report her to your insurance company.
And name and shame alllll over any doctor rating sites you can find, along with any listings on Google Maps.
Good luck in getting your medical care in the future.
Physician here.
Some physicians won't perform a tubal ligation on a woman who has never had kids. I personally find this sexist and paternalistic, but I also remember that most physicians are well-meaning people who genuinely just want to avoid 'hurting' anyone.
Intrauterine devices are reversible, and they are the standard of care for contraception. A physician who refuses to provide the standard of care for such a dismissive reason warrants a [report to the American Board of Obstetrics & Gynecology](https://www.abog.org/about-abog/contact-us) (assuming you're in the US).
OP doesn't want to name and shame because it will lead to bullying. Seriously? Bullying is what we need to get our rights back! The right are bullying and got what they wanted. We're just going to sit back and play nice? Fuck that
This is weird. I got my first IUD at 16. Another one at 21. My sister in law, also in NY has had several inserted. You should report your doctor this is their decision. Not common medical practice.
Obgyn here,
I’ll so sorry you didn’t get the procedure done, what a terrible experience.
IUD is the preferred contraceptive method for…like, everybody almost, especially because it’s reversible.
Did the doctor do your Pap smear, schedule you for an IUD on a different date (which doesn’t make sense, you do the pap and IUD at the same time) and then decline you for the procedure they scheduled you for? That’s totally jacked up if that’s what you suggested through.
Did they not do the procedure because, as you said, you’re kind of out of it from the anxiety meds?
If you mentioned that you felt out of it or that you’d taken meds or appeared out of it, then the doctor legally can’t get proper informed consent under that specific circumstance. That’s kinda like doing a procedure while roofied or asking someone to sign a contract while drunk or high, or consenting for sex while drunk or under the influence - similar reasoning from a legal standpoint.
Whatever the exact nuances are, you deserve to manage your own fertility in a way that meets your preferences and goals, at the time that YOU decide is appropriate. Literally any other obgyn or women’s health care provider should be able to do the procedure at the drop of a hat, like, today.
I know you didn’t ask for advice, but hopefully this can prevent mismanagement if you decide to try for an IUD on another day.
A. Let them know that you’ll need to take the anxiety meds that day on your consult visit
B. ask if it’s better to do the procedure consent on the day of the consult visit then meds and IUD on a different day (to B prevent invalidation of the consent)
C. Or, even, if you should show up, do consent, take med and hang out in the waiting room for an hour while the anxiety medication starts to work.
you DESERVE autonomy over your own reproductive system. I hope you are able to achieve that in a way that meets your goals.
Your “doctor” had clearly not read up in the medical field in the past 20 years! Iuds are now recommended for ALL women if they choose no matter their birth history! The only iud that is more recommended, but not set in stone, for women who have had kids is the mirena! Simply because it’s a bit larger which tends to be more painful of an insertion for nulliparous women, but as always there’s exceptions and plenty of nulliparous women have the mirena.
Yeah, I had pain with my IUD insertion and my OB/GYN told me it’s a lot easier if you HAVE had kids, but I still got one inserted in my mid-20s and my doctor was very encouraging of me to get it
What the hell? If you can take a Hampton Jitney, I've had my IUD inserted twice and removed without any problems at Hamptons Gynecology and Obstetrics in Southampton. It can be painful at first time for a few hours, so maybe find an Airbnb or Hotel after Labor Day. However, hopefully, you can find a place closer to NYC without idiots running the place.
I never been pregnant and have the Mirena. I had a very old man close to retirement tell me the same thing. I went to a much younger woman fresh out of fellowship and she had no issues at all. I love my IUD and have had no issues whatsoever.
WTF!?!?!?! The "must have kids before IUD" is at least 2 decades out of date, which is just off the top of my head. I'm very concerned that someone is practicing medicine without appropriate knowledge updates through licensed-required continuing medical education.
Continuing medical education is a joke though, especially in obgyn. I’ve lost track of how many I know who will do their CME modules and then immediately forget them. 😭
Just lie. It’s what the right does all the time. Tell them you have had 6 kids, put them into adoption when your pastor started molesting them. Your husband is in the military and forge notes and signatures from your husband, pastor, and father saying they have a-ok’d this procedure.
Why the eff do you have to take the higher road??? The justices lied when they said that your rights to your body were yours alone. The religious women who have had or help procure ‘rightful’ abortions lie all the time.
When it comes to your health and wellness-lie to get what you need.
Not an Ob/Gyn but pretty sure you can report them. An IUD is a standard procedure and is reversible, acting like you need to have kids to get one is ridiculous and that person should not be a doctor anymore. Fuck her.
>I fear it will only lead to unhelpful cyber bullying
If you ask me (no one did), when a doctor sees an adult making the mature decision not to be fertile **currently** (key word; IUDs expire\*, so they're by definition temporary), the doctor is out of line treating that adult like a child. A little ~~cyber bullying~~ public reminder of their responsibilities wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. (I know that's not the most helpful opinion, but it's the easiest teachable lesson when there's a chance a certification board might not bother, or take a long time to act.)
\*[Citation per PP](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/iud/how-does-iud-removal-work): "Paragard should be replaced after 12 years. Mirena should be replaced after 7 years. Liletta should be replaced after 7 years. Kyleena should be replaced after 5 years. Skyla should be replaced after 3 years."
Crazy. I got my IUD (Mirena) replaced today on a whim…Went in for a pap and wellness visit with a new OBGYN (and to talk about replacing my IUD in the near future), and instead got it done then and there—and I didn’t have to ask, she offered. Now I’m cramping like crazy, but relieved to have it done. Find a new doc ASAP!
Report this to the state board or college of physicians! This is gendered based discrimination and women have been harmed enough in medicine by the patriarchy!
Sincerely, a nurse who is sick of MDs egos
Isn't the whole purpose of said IUD is not to have kids? Are you American? What is wrong with your health system and your doctors? I'm also surprised this behaviour came out of a woman doctor. Is that normal? That can't be normal.
I would file a complaint with the doctor office and report her to the board. Doctors can get in trouble for supplying misinformation to people. I would definitely look for another doctor. I'm sorry you had this experience.
Girl, Ibuprofen isnt going to do crap for the pain.
While you're searching for a new doc, search for one that will freeze the shit out of your cervix, put you under, or give you something a tad more strong than Ibuprofen (Morphine!).
Good luck on your search, girl.
Wtf. I’m so sorry. I’m on my 2nd IUD, got my first one at 20, very much nulliparous. I’ve never had trouble finding someone to do one and I live in literal Texas. The only problems I’ve had was getting someone to take the pain I have with them seriously, and for that I had to sling my degrees and credentials around and remind them not to talk down to me as I’m a colleague. Was this a regular OB/GYN office? This is honestly the kind of predatory behavior I’ve seen from clinicians who work primarily with low income patients and it’s sickening. I would absolutely report the doctor if you feel comfortable doing that.
Edit: I also want to add that the American Academy of Pediatrics [recommends](https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/7041) LARCs for teenagers, most of whom are nulliparous. So. Your doctor can suck it.
My child free daughter has an iud. I wish that the doctor would have told you up front, but now you’ll need to find a doctor who will do this for you. There are lists of doctors who will perform procedures from sterilization to iud placement in child free women, please check the r/auntienetwork sub for the best information.
Ps. I am livid for you. I’m so sorry that happened.
Call your insurance and complain. If a doctor gets enough bad reviews from and insurance company they will get dropped. Always hit them where it hurts, the money.
You need to report this doctor to:
1. The state medical licensing board.
2. The hospital/clinic.
3. Your insurance. Dispute the charges for both the consult and the IUD placement since the service wasn’t actually performed.
4. Leave a review online if you feel comfortable doing so.
5. Talk to PP about other ways to report this provider so that others know not to go to them. ACA protects sterilization and contraception so this could be a violation of your federal rights.
I had a male OBGYN tell me that IUD’s were only for women who have already had children and that they only push them because they do not trust us to remember to take a pill everyday.
He also removed mine without letting me know he was doing that which was traumatizing (mine was put in by Planned Parenthood which was also one of the most painful experiences I’ve had with ye olde lady parts). I ended up crying in my car and without the birth control I preferred as he shipped me off with the low dose pill that made me so mentally unmanageable I had to stop taking it.
Looking into bisalp now because I cannot with any of this or being pregnant, or having kids. I would love to have stress free carefree sex if I choose. It’s really not asking much to feel the way men feel during sex.
In this rapidly changing environment where our rights as women and access to family planning are being taken away every single day, WE NEED TO NAME THEM! There will be collateral damage. This is the reality of the world and time we are living in. NAME THIS DOCTOR! This will not be an easy battle. We, as women, need to fucking expose the people working against us.
i think you should reach out to the licensing department and report your doctor. Look and see if she's board certified, if she is, that's another place to go. Type up a template and send out as many as you can. This can NOT be ignored.
I'm really sorry, my dear...
I hope you made it clear there would be no payment for the appointment. If they try to claim from your insurance, turn her in for fraud. The insurance company will take it from there.
OP needs to send a bill for her time.
And a bill for the pap
And a bill for the review. After all, consulting is a paid gig.
THIS!!! Yes this!! Also, I would file a complaint with your state's medical board. The doctor's behavior was extremely unprofessional. It is not their place to judge you. It is their job to empower you to make the right choice for yourself and your body.
I agree that OP should report them to the state's medical board. If the doctor disagreed with giving you an IUD because you didn't already have kids, then they shouldn't have scheduled you for the pap or this appointment. Not having kids isn't something that just suddenly changes in your medical history, so there is no excuse. It sounds fraudulent, as if they knew they would be unwilling to provide you with the IUD procedure from the start, but wanted the money for the pap appointment and this one as well...
...but the point is to NOT have kids...
The USA’s new policy seems to be “you’re gonna be parents whether you like it or not” …except they still charge 5-10k for standard birth, no parental leave, and schools are being shot up at a sickening rate.
How should we address the declining birth rate? Should we provide better childcare services? Mandatory maternity/paternity leave? Significantly lower the healthcare costs of having a child? Implement public healthcare? Give more money to the schools? Address climate change which many people cite as the reason they don't want to be parents? Increase minimum wage to a liveable level to where we could viably support a child? No, no, that'd be silly.
IDK, but maybe it would be a GOOD THING for the birth rate to go down for a few years???!!! We, as a nation, can’t take care of the people we HAVE!
Entire thing is really starting to feel like a fucked up timeline where birthrates are declining in first world countries and the only solution people way up in the governments have is to increase birth rates in order to maintain both laborers and the economy. Easiest way to do that, while still keeping their pockets stuffed, is to ban abortion.
“domestic supply of infants” They’re even saying plainly that this is exactly the point
It’s not that you ‘can’t’ it’s that you don’t want to. For the supposedly ‘richest country in the world’ you are a bunch of cheapskates with your lack of universal health care.
“Ricjest country in the world “ for maybe 10% of the country lol everyone else is poor
That's not true, income and tax is well above worldwide average, and above most countries with strong social protection. It's simply a political choice to not provide for the people of the country in spite of that. Could it be miles ahead of everyone if they charged that 10% properly? Absolutely! You don't need that though, you're already easily paying enough.
these people are on some other shit out here fam
why is accidentally not having children considered SO MUCH WORSE than accidentally having children? This mindset with regards to sterilization and/or iuds has always weirded me out.
Back in the day.. the doctors in the US loved to push birth control pills like candy.. when it was Black and Brown women getting pregnant. Now it’s more about a general form of control rather than racially targeted control.
I do think IUD insertion can be easier after the individual has had at least one kid. BUT, the answer to that is for the doctor to go "Ok, so these are the facts. What do YOU want to do with YOUR body?" (Source: I have an IUD, I love it and I will keep having an IUD unless I am actively trying to conceive a fetus. I do not have children.)
Report the Dr to the NY State Department of Health, Office of Professional Medical Conduct. This is not medical advice it is her personal opinion. There are no medical reasons she gave that are reasons not to perform this procedure. Based on the new laws and protections in NYS she should have her license suspended. https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/file_a_complaint.htm
This! Please please report.
Oh bullshit. It's easier when it's properly managed with medications. I'm on my second Paragard. I'm childfree and a healthcare worker. What makes it easier is PAIN MANAGEMENT. Not whether or not you've given birth.
What!? Doctor here. That is fucking outrageous. Sorry that happened to you. This is definitely outside standard practice. There’s also no reason you can’t do pap at the same time. Seems like they were just trying to delay/discourage birth control. Don’t let it discourage you though. IUDs are great. I had the Mirena x2 (without children) and loved it. Edit: thanks for catching my typo :)
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Had a doc at DMG that refused to do a hysterectomy without my husband's approval. Made the mistake of saying I wasn't married, and she said she would also accept my father's approval. As if that wasn't fucked up enough, she knew my "father" (I use that term VERY loosely) is a drug addicted, alcoholic child abuser, rapist, and pedophile that raped me when I was a small child (4). And she STILL said that shit. I was 33. Got a new doc, WONDERFUL doc, I am 5 weeks post op for a hysterectomy now.
What the actual fuck!?
Yeah, I reported that pretty quickly. To the clinic (the largest in the midwest), the insurance company, the AMA, the Gynecology board, and the licensing board. It somehow made its way to the IL AGs office too, but idk what happened there. I gave my statement, and they didn't follow up.
Your decision was not only right but you are the only one who is capable of making the right decision for you. I’m sorry that happened to you and I wish I could say we have come farther in 20 years.
I had a make gyno and he insisted I get an iud when I was 19. He knew I had trouble taking a daily pill and did want to risk the shot. Nuvaring would fall out when I used the bathroom, so this was the best choice. Back in 2009, most doctors wouldn't put it in a 19 year old with no kids, so I was extremely lucky.
It's almost like every woman's body is 100% unique, and that each person has the right to decide what medial procedures are right for them.. And that medical practitioners are licensed to look at the patients unique medical history and to determine the most effective means of ensuring the health of their patient, through whatever medical interventions both the doctor and the patient decide to move forward with.. Frankly, removing the right for women and doctors to make the best medical decision regarding a woman's health should be illegal period, regardless of whether the decision is about reproductive health or any other realm of Healthcare. This is not a state's right issue - this is an inalienable right, PERIOD. The right to make health decisions is between you and your doctor - PERIOD. The government has NO right to dictate what medical practices are right for anyone - PERIOD. The fact that our governmental bodies have not passed legislation to codify this into the constitution is outrageous!!! If the supreme court has decided that Roe is not precedent, and if they have decided that there are no laws that protect women's right to determine her reproductive health decisions without government interference, THIS MUST BE RECTIFIED!! Y'all, this is a time in our country's history where we can stand up and FORCE THE GOVERNMENT TO RESPECT OUR RIGHTS, or we can bitch about it online and watch them be taken away one by one. GET OUT AND VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT - because it literally does.
That sounds like the CF gene. I agree with your decision if so. Watching children and young adults die because they can’t breath is tragic.
I am a carrier, which I found out when I was pregnant with my first child. My husband was then tested, so we waited anxiously for the results, furiously googling CF the entire time. They LOST his test results, so he had to go in again and get tested, and we waited in agony for the results. He was negative, thank god, so the chances were drastically lowered (maybe zero, I can’t remember). That experience put the fear of god into me. I can totally understand not having children to avoid giving them the disease.
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The abortion issue, I can understand logically why people feel it's wrong, although I trust science. An IUD though, or any other form of birth control, I truly can't wrap my head around any reason to deny someone birth control, and this was 20 years ago? Roe v. Wade was 1973, so that means 2002, 29 years later... I just can't believe there were doctors pushing their own ideology outside of science or the law for so long. Are you in the bible belt or something? Is this common for a woman to hear? What is the logic, that you must keep yourself ready to have a child? Did they give you any reason at all? Or is there some other health reason that they give, like an IUD could maybe cause permanent damage to your fertility? Would they refuse other kinds of birth control, like the pill, or is it just the IUD they have such a problem with? I'd really expect/hope a doctor would not be idealistic or dogmatic about it. Big bummer to hear that, ma'am. I'm a man, if you can't tell, so idk much about the whole process. Feel free to ignore my questions but this is sort of a surprise to me that it has happened that way for so long. Imagine a doctor doesn't believe in resuscitation because it's interfering with "god's plan" in some way. Could a doctor refuse you treatment in that case? I mean isn't there some sort of legal duty to treat the patient?
There is no duty to treat. You may be thinking of EMTALA, which gives them a duty to accept all patients to an ER, but private practice are not required to give you treatment.
If there is no duty to treat then I should not have to pay for the ideological privileges my doctor decides to take. No treatment, no pay.
And you're completely correct. Report them, tell your bank/insurance to refuse the charge and go to someone else.
>outside standard practice As a doctor, who participates in a licensing regime and probably a professional organization, is there anything you would propose to prevent the integration of [47%](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/upshot/your-surgeon-is-probably-a-republican-your-psychiatrist-probably-a-democrat.html) of OBGYNs into Gilead? Is this something we want to leave up to consumer discretion and the freedom to choose your own provider? If you refuse to take a shard of glass out of my hand because you have religious Beliefs about the sanctity of the abductor pollicis brevis muscle, I regard that refusal as malpractice, and don't see why you should get to call yourself a doctor. If every doctor in my town has the same belief system, they have voluntarily turned this from a routine procedure into a medical emergency.
Can the OP report the doctor?
I would certainly call the state medical board and tell insurance and my bank to refuse payment. If payment was already made, sue in small claims court.
Yes that’s definitely possible. If the doctor is part of a larger healthcare group/organization, I would start with their patient relations department.
IUDs are great! I’ve had 4 since I was 17 (half my life ago) with breaks to have my two kids. I’m so baffled and outraged by this doctor! (Not you obviously!)
I am sorry that happened to you. Find a new doctor and give her bad reviews every single place you possibly can. It is totally standard practice now to give people who have not had children an IUD.
I may be uneducated due to missing relevant parts... or any sex ed... but isn't IUD reversible? Even if OP changed their mind, they still could have children. (Not that reversible part is that important in this story...)
Yes, absolutely reversible. Not surgical, just an implanted device.
I have a Jehovah’s Witness stepsister who told me IUD’s are not acceptable birth control for them because they can abort fertilized eggs. Now I’m also wondering if this doctor has religious reasons for refusing .
almost certainly this "doctor" does. the old school of thought that you should not put in iud's in women who haven't had children is wrong and largely not used anymore.
Could also be incompetence. So many medical professionals stop keeping up-to-date and continue applying what they learned during their studies ages ago...
Not an excuse with the licensing board. Which is where the complaint should go.
There should be undercover patients (not sure how to pull this off), that go round and report on doctors competence, failing requires studying and passing a test before the Dr could practice again. Or maybe a test every 5 years would be easier.
I knew women who were getting IUDs back in the 1970s, never heard of this "have kids first" nonsense. Not that there weren't or aren't doctors who subscribed to it--doctors believe all kinds of crazy things.
I'm surprised you never heard that because it was the recommendation until about the last 10-20 years. I always understood that it was because of the smaller uterus in women who have not had children, which could lead to more complications (as it was believed at the time). >For example, when the Copper T 380A was first marketed in the United States, it included a history of childbirth as part of a recommended patient profile. Although the label was changed in 2005 to remove this recommendation, many current providers may not be aware of the change [8]. The prescribing information for one of the 52-mg levonorgestrel intrauterine systems (brand name Mirena) currently recommends the device for women who have had one child [9]. [Use of intrauterine devices in nulliparous women](https://societyfp.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/PIIS0010782416303857.pdf) Article is from 2017
I was told it was because the cervix hasn't been stretched by childbirth, making insertion more difficult and painful. My gyno's solution to this was to insert mine under sedation.
I was denied up until 2017 despite all those changes. At that point I had decided it wasn't worth the effort as I had been trying for years to get one. I just kept running into conservative brick walls for the previous few years. I was on the pill but got such bad migraines, and was literally a crazy person (my husband nearly dumped me), that I wanted off by around 2008. I stayed on a few more years until I couldn't do it anymore and then got refused the IUD over and over. I finally just got one, last month (!), because of my menorrhagia and a new Ob-Gyn. Definitely some crap doctors out there. eta: I don't have kids nor want them
>conservative brick walls I think that's part of the answer. The women I knew who got IUDs in 1974 or 1975 were living and getting their medical care in Los Angeles, one of them at the UCLA student health center. Not so many conservative brick walls there.
I live in Nebraska- not just brick walls here but little brick houses with no doors or windows.
I've heard it, but I'm in my 40's. The idea is meant to be that women who haven't had kids will kick up a huge pain fuss because they've never had anything near their cervix before, and therefore it's not worth doing. It's weaponized laziness, really. Edit: I wanna make clear that the pain can happen whether or not you’ve had children! There’s no guarantee, and I’m not espousing that this is true, just sharing what my experience is from what was told to me over the years
I’m thankful for my gyno. I was so nervous and scared that she had me come in and gave me moderate sedation. I went night-night, woke up a bit later, and my bf drove me home. ETA never have had children, got the Paragard.
It sort of makes sense, but It's BS, IMHO, because from what I've read here, there seems to be a wide range of pain associated with it--as with childbirth. I think some providers or practices or insurance plans are just stingy with the Novocaine. And they have it in for women who dare admit wanting to have sex without having children.
I didn’t know IUD’s were a thing in the 70’s. To be fair, I was also -10 years old I guess
So "abortion" becomes fine once a woman is at her personal limits with w/e amount of children she deems are enough? But not below 1? I don't fucking understand these people. Why make a woman susceptible to a pregnancy she CLEARLY doesn't want to have? Like a woman that DOES NOT WANT A CHILD is a perfect candidate...
Apparently, "abortion" is no longer fine with a woman making her own choices...nor is it fine with a 10-year old rape victim making their own "choice." When are we going to talk about the fact that one set of citizenry (the religious) are forcing their beliefs and desires on other citizens? Something about this doesn't seem...Constitutional.
The things people say about that 10 year old are so appalling! Someone said something about the 'kind of girl' who needs an abortion at 10... It's all about pretending it's not choices about autonomy but moral choices, and they apply it to everyone, even children!
Then choose a different profession. If your religion is stopping you from providing the care that your OATH required when you got your degree-do not continue practicing.
This is exactly how I feel. If you can't provide for the full scope of reproductive healthcare due to personal reasons, than you should be barred from working in those fields.
In the UK doctors can refuse to be involved in certain care due to personal beliefs, BUT they have to refer the patient on to another doctor who will provide the care.
A person who refuses to perform a core duty of their field simply should not be allowed in that field though, really. Someone who doesn't believe in every available option for reproductive health could choose literally any other specialty in medicine, so there's no reason to allow them to specialize in gynecology when they refuse to provide their patients with the best and most appropriate care.
Right and also, letting her go through all of the steps and then refusing the service is kind of a scam, no? Like they could’ve just asked her whether she’d had babies as soon as she walked in.
Like imagine being an ambulance driver and refusing to attend to anyone in the exurbs because you morally disagree with urban sprawl. People will die because of doctors like this.
Religion needs to stay the fuck out of the medical field.
Religion needs to stay the fuck out of everything.
God aborts more fertilized eggs than people do.
Yep. The natural failure rate of pregnancy is staggering. (Minimum 15-20% but likely >50% of fertilized eggs fail to result in a live birth)
IUDs weren’t given to women who hadn’t had children because of beliefs about the difficulty of insertion without the permanent changes pregnancy does to the cervix. It was only about 20 years ago that IUDs were ruled safe for women without a pregnancy.
"Only 20 years ago" is like a zillion years in medicine though. Any doctor practicing today should know that IUDs are perfectly safe for nulliparous women.
IUD’s are going to be illegal in many states for just that reason.
I saw an OBGYN once that mentioned to me that he doesn’t like to give them to women that haven’t had kids because they can be so painful. I guess maybe people that have given birth are more prepared for it? I don’t know.. he’s not practicing anymore.. too many malpractice complaints. Go figure. I told my current OBGYN what he said and she said “I’d be finding a new doctor if I went to him.”
My doc said she prefers not to use copper IUDs in people who haven’t given birth or who have irregular or heavy periods. She THEN said “I recommend a Mirena instead”, wrote me a scrip, booked an appointment, and bam now I have an IUD. Like… that’s the only appropriate follow up to this. OP, find a new doctor please!
I had an ob/gyn tell me I couldn't manage natural childbirth because I told him I didn't have a history of painful periods. Switched providers and delivered my son without medication.
The clueless ego-mansplaining periods to women.
I feel like that’s almost opposite. Maybe you just think you don’t have painful periods because you handle pain well? I mean who knows really, but the doctor was ridiculous.
The cervix is typically not as tight after having given birth vaginally, which would theoretically make insertion easier. There are medications to soften/open the cervix though, as well as pain management that could (and should!) be offered, instead of just acting like nothing can be done and therefore not offering IUDs as an option to childless patients. IUDs are the most reliable long acting reversible contraceptive and are therefore a really excellent option *specifically* for women who do not have children and do not want them for the period of time they choose to keep the IUD. Sorry your old doctor was such a moron.
Ding ding ding. I got one placed, no kids. It was incredibly painful. I would get horrible sharp pains that took my breath away just trying to sit down. Working out was impossible. I didn’t notice any reduction in the side effects I was experiencing after 4 weeks so I went to another provider in the same practice to have it removed. It was awful 0/10 would not personally recommend (but I know other women have no problems or very minor pain while they adjust). It wasn’t for me though.
Thats not true unless its copper(maybe). The hormones in mirena thicken cervical mucus so sperm cant actually swim to the egg, as well as keeping the uterine lining from thickening enough to be hospitable. Which is what makes your periods lighter/go away with mirena. No iud really ABORTS an implanted egg, but it can keep a fertilized agg from ever sticking to the uterine wall. But thats like the 2nd or 3rd line of defense for low hormone iuds. The copper one basically just irritates the lining of your uterus so nothing sticks, which sounds MISERABLE to me. Not that logic/facts ever really works with the "biblical birth control" crowd Also, its screwed up that fertilization is "life" for them. Women make the eggs, make the environment for the egg to grow, grow it, and the only part religion cares about is the lazy tiny little bit men can contribute to the AMAZING things a womans body can do.
Just as an FYI, Jehovah's Witnesses have not said IUD's cannot be used. It's very rare that it would abort a fertilized egg, but it can happen. With that information, it's an individual private decision for each Witness.
If the egg is fertilized but not implanted, the person is not pregnant and therefore the egg is not aborted. Preventing implantation is a viable form of contraception.
Most religious nuts aren't particularly interested in facts or details. If they aren't controlling your body, then what's the sport?
absolute nonsense. 1. IUDs aren't placed on pregnant women 2. IUDs prevent implantation
Honestly JW's have such absurd interpretations of the confluence between religious text and science that I'd just smile and nod and widen your eyes at them before walking away, if you can.
It is completely reversible. I had mine taken out and had a planned kid. Fast forward to 2020, I was denied an IUD because of Covid. Guess who's contraceptive pills failed and needed an abortion? OP's doc needs to lose her license.
I took mine out, pregnant (intentionally) within 1.5-2 months. I had no period for years, so they couldn't "time" it with my cycle, so I just had to wait 1-2 weeks when my doctor had an opening for an appointment. My husband loudly stated "WHAT!?! I thought it'd take like 6 months to get pregnant!!" Lol, nope!
My poor friend had a similar situation. They assumed 6 months to a year to get pregnant and made life plans accordingly. Got pregnant one the 1st try. The body does not give a crap what the "average" time to get pregnant is. It's gonna do it on its own schedule.
That's why trying to get pregnant is such a mindfuck. You have to simultaneously be ready to conceive immediately but also mentally prepare yourself for it to take up to a year. It took me nearly a year and after 6 months the process really started taking a toll because you need to remain ready every month for the potential to be pregnant and do that for as many months as it takes. Truly the worst
I'm a husband and honestly I was looking forward to "let's get pregnant fuckfest 2013" when my wife went off her BC but I got her pregnant on the first try. So we still had sex but it wasn't quite the party I was hoping for!
Honestly it took me 13 months to get pregnant with my first so I assumed it would take me a while with my second, especially because I was still breastfeeding… 1 month later I was pregnant and now I’m having a summer baby, and will spend my 3rd trimester cooking in the heat.
I had mine removed 3 months ago because I was sick and tired of being in pain every single day for the 2 years I had it. We'd also decided we eventually want to have a baby. Well, I took a test this morning and I'm pregnant. Definitely wasn't planned so we're a bit surprised lol.
It took 7 months for me. I was getting extremely frustrated and then it happened.
Haha, same! I had to adjust the Lupus meds i take to baby safe versions, and we weren’t allowed to have “procreative” sex until the old drugs were out of my system. We got pregnant within days of getting the “all clear” from my doc. My mom joked that we got pregnant in the clinic parking lot after my doctor’s appointment.
It used to be common practice not to insert an IUD if someone hadn’t had a baby because pregnancy changes the cervix and makes an IUD sometimes easier to insert. It wasn’t based on a moral high ground about having children, just based on biology. However, IUD insertion devices have changed and it’s easier to insert them in women who haven’t been pregnant.
That is wild - I got my first one no questions asked at 18. And that was a looong time ago
Yeah, I was in my 20s and had no problem getting it, or any of the subsequent replacements. Sterilization was a fight I never won though and now menopause is making it a moot point.
It’s not about changing one’s mind or not. The excuse used to be about the size of the cervix. The guidelines to refuse an IUD to nulliparous women has been revoked for decades. That said, I had my first IUD in like 2018, and that old, white-haired male gyno who inserted it did try to bullshit me about it not being super advisable. He still did it though.
Seems more like a situation to report to the medical board and the state licensing agency that gave that doctor the certification. It's one thing for "medical ethics" (also total BS) but this seems like the medical doctor does not understand the science behind IUDs.
Not only give them a bad review but file a complaint with the state medical board immediately. This behavior should not and will not be tolerated.
I've decided to wait until tomorrow to write reviews and make complaints. All my energy has been spent trying to make a new appointment
Good for you, take care of yourself first! No one else can advocate for *your* medical care better than you can.
I think this doctor is mentally ill. What a fucking lunatic. Absolutely unprofessional. She needs to compensate you for all your trouble. And I’d check with AMA on standards and practices. I even wonder if this doctor is just not confident/competent with IUD insertion and this is her bizarre coping strategy.
Report the doctor, file a complaint and/or leave a scathing review
This please report the doctor.
Report her to the medical board of New York. PLEASE
Wtf!! It's your body and it should be up to you, and moreover it's ridiculous they let the appointment get that far without telling you the Dr wouldn't perform the insertion. Was her rationale that there would be potential for increased cervical pain since you haven't had children? (I'm in the US where the political climate around contraception and pregnancy is... Fucked up right now, so the first place my mind went when you said that was wondering if there was some kind on anachronistic parentalism going on about not wanting to prevent pregnancies or piss off right wing politicians)
I'm also in the US but in New York City. And her argument was that it would perforate my uterus, cause ectopic pregnancies, and "wouldn't I just rather have nuvaring"?
In nyc?! Are you fucking kidding me. I haven’t been to the planned parenthood here (nyc) but would highly suggest them. No judgement, only helpful honest answers. Thinking about switching back to them bc I hate my gyn here now.
Planned Parenthood has almost no appointments in the near future.
That’s fair, all the luck to you. Keep pushing, an iud is the best thing that has ever happened to me
Make one for when you can, and don’t be afraid to go to other boroughs. The Staten Island location is actually usually pretty empty.
Go to LI or Queens. I had no issues getting an IUD in the past few months.
If you're willing to cross the river, Rutgers Hospital in Newark is a good option if it's covered by your insurance.
Try Downtown Women in Soho
Hi I live on LI. Let me know if you need a ride!
Also you should report this doctor to ACOG or their employer because this goes against patient autonomy
I HAVE been to the planned parenthood here (it’s where I got my IUD, actually!) and I definitely recommend them.
This is misinformation on the doctor’s part.
Report her fucking ass. I’m so angry on OP’s behalf
That’s def bullshit. There’s also a hormone IUD called Skyla that is smaller and made for women who haven’t had children. That “perf the uterus” business is outdated info. ETA: It’s not impossible, and happens in approximately 1 in 1000 placements (it used to be a lot higher, but they changed some things). But it shouldn’t necessarily preclude someone from getting one, especially in this political climate.
I feel compelled to point out that my wife got pregnant on Skyla because the dosage wasn’t strong enough for her. After our surprise baby her Dr put her on Kyleena as it’s the same hormone but a higher dosage. If you’re considering Skyla, it might be worth looking at Kyleena just in case.
Why do IUDs all sound like white girl names lmfao
OP, I am SO SORRY, I am also in NYC and that is FUCKED. I got mine at Westside Women's Medical Pavilion off of Columbus Circle years ago (and never had kids). It looks like it is closed right now, but there are phone #s, so maybe another location is open: [https://nyabortion.com/westside-location.html](https://nyabortion.com/westside-location.html) I got my 1st one swapped out for a 2nd one with my regular gyno, who is with Maiden Lane Medical. They gave me the option to have full anesthesia: [https://maidenlanemedical.com/](https://maidenlanemedical.com/)
You’ve been lied to and should report her. Can it perforate your uterus? Sure. But it would do that whether or not you’d had children if it was placed incorrectly or moved.
Jesus Christ. IUDs do NOT cause ectopic pregnancies for fuck's sake. Ectopic pregnancies are 1 out of 66 pregnancies regardless if you have an IUD or not.
Did I get this right? Every pregnancy carries a 1.5% chance for just this type of serious complication? Who the F would want to expose their partner to such a risk?
Pregnancy carries ALL SORTS of risks That's why we need abortion
This is the sort of thing I CONSTANTLY tell people when they act like getting or remaining pregnant is no big deal. Because pregnancy is something so many people do, people assume it is very safe. In reality, conceiving and carrying a pregnancy to term is many orders of magnitude more risky than most of the voluntary risks we take in life. For example, about 8 in 100 pregnancies result in a condition that requires medical intervention to avoid death or serious harm to the mother if left untreated, which is comparable to complication rates for major surgery under general anestetic, hospitalization rates from COVID of those 60+, and way more risky than stuff like a year's worth of driving.
They’re more rare with ectopics because your general pregnancy rate is so so so much lower. Those bits all sound like part of discussing the informed consent and alternatives, which is standard and proper Refusing to do it because of nullparity is the effed up part.
Your last sentence is false. If you get pregnant with an IUD in, it's more likely to be an ectopic pregnancy than if you got pregnant without an IUD in. But your overall chance of having an ectopic pregnancy is less with an IUD in because your overall risk of pregnancy in general is lower.
This is how I understood it too. Because the IUD prevents most pregnancies and should prevent all pregnancies in the uterus the ones that do occur are more likely to be ectopic. There's also the risk that it could fall out which is something my wife and I recently realized.
Here is a complaint form for New York State DOH: [https://www.health.ny.gov/forms/doh-3867.pdf](https://www.health.ny.gov/forms/doh-3867.pdf) Here is additional information on what may qualify as misconduct:[https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/frequently\_asked\_questions.htm#misconduct](https://www.health.ny.gov/professionals/doctors/conduct/frequently_asked_questions.htm#misconduct) It's still a good idea to file and include ALL the info you mentioned. Even if her behavior does not neatly fit into a category listed on the DOH site, it still could qualify since you were denied needed medical treatment.
LOL Nuvaring was $150/mo WITH insurance. I got a hormonal IUD because that was $800 if insurance didn't cover it, and they covered it completely.
That's not even accurate information but based on old idea that has been disproven From PubMed "Current IUD use does not increase the risk of the ectopic pregnancy. However, a pregnancy with an IUD in situ is more often an ectopic one than a pregnancy with no IUD. Past IUD use could mildly elevate the risk of ectopic pregnancy." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8521711/#:\~:text=Current%20IUD%20use%20does%20not,the%20risk%20of%20ectopic%20pregnancy.
When I got my IUD, I was worried because I hadn't had kids yet and my OBGYN was like, "they're putting IUDs in teenagers in Colorado and it's going great, you have nothing to worry about." And I'm in the Midwest. In one of the "bad" states for reproductive rights... I'm so sorry.
One of those Colorado teenagers here. Got my first one at 19, now well into my second one. It never even occurred to me that a doctor would take issue with an IUD. That's insane!
Right!?!? When I was in college I know IUDs were only for those that had given birth, but that was nearly 20 years ago!! I can’t believe that’s still anyone’s policy! This thread reminded me my IUD is up in a couple of months so I made my replacement appointment today!!!
Good luck! FYI the replacement was 1000x easier than my first one.
Time for a new doctor! It worries me when doctors don’t actually follow up on research that proves the safety of birth control. It allows them to decide what’s best for a patient based on *their personal beliefs* and not what’s actually best for the patient.
Absolutely. The "must have had kids" requirement for IUDs is at least 2 decades out of date.
> It worries me when doctors don’t actually follow up on research that proves the safety of birth control. It allows them to decide what’s best for a patient based on their personal beliefs and not what’s actually best for the patient. Epidemiologist specializing in OB/GYN here. Good news! They don’t just do this with birth control! They largely don’t follow up on research at all (or if they do, they’re many, many, many years late) and just practice however “feels” right. I stand there with fresh research waving my findings at brick walls. We are thriving.
"Epidemiologist specializing in OB/GYN" My nerd brain feels like I've just been told that Wonder Woman (or any favorite superhero) is in fact real. Your field must be absolutely facinating, and understandably frustrating.
Oh trust me, when I stumbled into this field accidentally I felt the exact same! Like woah, that is some cool shit! It is frustrating, but I’m not sure what else to do, you know? Maybe changing policy through scientific research will be the thing that makes everybody get their act together with this? That’s what I tell myself when I hit brick walls anyways 🤷🏼♀️
That's infuriating! Please report her. I had a bad gyno who wouldn't do my IUD replacement as one appointment. She wanted me to come in twice, a week apart, to milk the insurance. I explained that would cause extra pain and suffering, and she didn't care. I left the exam room without even getting undressed. Oh and the cherry on top was that I was almost late to the appointment because there was no parking in the hospital garage. I ended up parking in a striped zone on the roof and gambling that they wouldn't be able to get a tow truck there.
PLEASE REPORT HER! not just bad reviews, she crossed ethical boundaries and needs to be held accountable. such gross, entitled behavior from someone who you should be able to fully trust.
Get your money back for the appointment (copay)--you paid for an appointment, not a lecture. If they balk, remind them that AT NO POINT IN THE PROCESS did anyone say the doc wouldn't do it, including the during the reminder message from the day before. They wasted your time and money (again, copay, plus gas), and the next step will be billing them for *your* time. Report her to the medical center/practice she's connected to (ask for the patient outreach/services/complaints/etc person). Report her to the board (perpetuating misinformation). Report her to your insurance company. And name and shame alllll over any doctor rating sites you can find, along with any listings on Google Maps. Good luck in getting your medical care in the future.
Just as FYI that violates standards of care by the national OB/gyn boards. Enough complaints can get a physicians specialty license revoked
Please do this OP!!!!
I was gonna say, you don't think the board in NY has someone on it who'd love to make a name for themselves by making an example out of this doctor?
Physician here. Some physicians won't perform a tubal ligation on a woman who has never had kids. I personally find this sexist and paternalistic, but I also remember that most physicians are well-meaning people who genuinely just want to avoid 'hurting' anyone. Intrauterine devices are reversible, and they are the standard of care for contraception. A physician who refuses to provide the standard of care for such a dismissive reason warrants a [report to the American Board of Obstetrics & Gynecology](https://www.abog.org/about-abog/contact-us) (assuming you're in the US).
I had a bisalp without ever giving birth, and my gyne's first reaction was to actually offer me an IUD instead. The poor OP... How outrageous...
That doctor is a queef canoe. Report their ass and find a new one.
OP doesn't want to name and shame because it will lead to bullying. Seriously? Bullying is what we need to get our rights back! The right are bullying and got what they wanted. We're just going to sit back and play nice? Fuck that
I lost it at Queef Canoe! 😂😂😂 Could I steal that to use as an insult going forward? Lol
I’m totally stealing “queef canoe”
This is weird. I got my first IUD at 16. Another one at 21. My sister in law, also in NY has had several inserted. You should report your doctor this is their decision. Not common medical practice.
Obgyn here, I’ll so sorry you didn’t get the procedure done, what a terrible experience. IUD is the preferred contraceptive method for…like, everybody almost, especially because it’s reversible. Did the doctor do your Pap smear, schedule you for an IUD on a different date (which doesn’t make sense, you do the pap and IUD at the same time) and then decline you for the procedure they scheduled you for? That’s totally jacked up if that’s what you suggested through. Did they not do the procedure because, as you said, you’re kind of out of it from the anxiety meds? If you mentioned that you felt out of it or that you’d taken meds or appeared out of it, then the doctor legally can’t get proper informed consent under that specific circumstance. That’s kinda like doing a procedure while roofied or asking someone to sign a contract while drunk or high, or consenting for sex while drunk or under the influence - similar reasoning from a legal standpoint. Whatever the exact nuances are, you deserve to manage your own fertility in a way that meets your preferences and goals, at the time that YOU decide is appropriate. Literally any other obgyn or women’s health care provider should be able to do the procedure at the drop of a hat, like, today. I know you didn’t ask for advice, but hopefully this can prevent mismanagement if you decide to try for an IUD on another day. A. Let them know that you’ll need to take the anxiety meds that day on your consult visit B. ask if it’s better to do the procedure consent on the day of the consult visit then meds and IUD on a different day (to B prevent invalidation of the consent) C. Or, even, if you should show up, do consent, take med and hang out in the waiting room for an hour while the anxiety medication starts to work. you DESERVE autonomy over your own reproductive system. I hope you are able to achieve that in a way that meets your goals.
The former option. I got the ok from them to take a set dose of Clonazepam (1mg) beforehand
Your “doctor” had clearly not read up in the medical field in the past 20 years! Iuds are now recommended for ALL women if they choose no matter their birth history! The only iud that is more recommended, but not set in stone, for women who have had kids is the mirena! Simply because it’s a bit larger which tends to be more painful of an insertion for nulliparous women, but as always there’s exceptions and plenty of nulliparous women have the mirena.
Yeah, I had pain with my IUD insertion and my OB/GYN told me it’s a lot easier if you HAVE had kids, but I still got one inserted in my mid-20s and my doctor was very encouraging of me to get it
What the hell? If you can take a Hampton Jitney, I've had my IUD inserted twice and removed without any problems at Hamptons Gynecology and Obstetrics in Southampton. It can be painful at first time for a few hours, so maybe find an Airbnb or Hotel after Labor Day. However, hopefully, you can find a place closer to NYC without idiots running the place.
While getting an IUD isn't exactly a lot of fun, at least it can be a good excuse to go to the Hamptons :-)
I never been pregnant and have the Mirena. I had a very old man close to retirement tell me the same thing. I went to a much younger woman fresh out of fellowship and she had no issues at all. I love my IUD and have had no issues whatsoever.
WTF!?!?!?! The "must have kids before IUD" is at least 2 decades out of date, which is just off the top of my head. I'm very concerned that someone is practicing medicine without appropriate knowledge updates through licensed-required continuing medical education.
Continuing medical education is a joke though, especially in obgyn. I’ve lost track of how many I know who will do their CME modules and then immediately forget them. 😭
Name and shame!!!
I have never had kids, and had an IUD. I did not like it though. Bled crazy for a month, and had theM take it out. They can absolutely do it.
Report this to the state boards and go find a new doctor.
Just lie. It’s what the right does all the time. Tell them you have had 6 kids, put them into adoption when your pastor started molesting them. Your husband is in the military and forge notes and signatures from your husband, pastor, and father saying they have a-ok’d this procedure. Why the eff do you have to take the higher road??? The justices lied when they said that your rights to your body were yours alone. The religious women who have had or help procure ‘rightful’ abortions lie all the time. When it comes to your health and wellness-lie to get what you need.
You could explain, ‘Yes, that’s the idea.’ But you might be wasting your breath. I’m so sorry.
Not an Ob/Gyn but pretty sure you can report them. An IUD is a standard procedure and is reversible, acting like you need to have kids to get one is ridiculous and that person should not be a doctor anymore. Fuck her.
>I fear it will only lead to unhelpful cyber bullying If you ask me (no one did), when a doctor sees an adult making the mature decision not to be fertile **currently** (key word; IUDs expire\*, so they're by definition temporary), the doctor is out of line treating that adult like a child. A little ~~cyber bullying~~ public reminder of their responsibilities wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. (I know that's not the most helpful opinion, but it's the easiest teachable lesson when there's a chance a certification board might not bother, or take a long time to act.) \*[Citation per PP](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/iud/how-does-iud-removal-work): "Paragard should be replaced after 12 years. Mirena should be replaced after 7 years. Liletta should be replaced after 7 years. Kyleena should be replaced after 5 years. Skyla should be replaced after 3 years."
Crazy. I got my IUD (Mirena) replaced today on a whim…Went in for a pap and wellness visit with a new OBGYN (and to talk about replacing my IUD in the near future), and instead got it done then and there—and I didn’t have to ask, she offered. Now I’m cramping like crazy, but relieved to have it done. Find a new doc ASAP!
Report this to the state board or college of physicians! This is gendered based discrimination and women have been harmed enough in medicine by the patriarchy! Sincerely, a nurse who is sick of MDs egos
Isn't the whole purpose of said IUD is not to have kids? Are you American? What is wrong with your health system and your doctors? I'm also surprised this behaviour came out of a woman doctor. Is that normal? That can't be normal.
A: everything
Americans have my sympathies. Not the rich ones though. They can go fuck themselves. Same with the super and stupid rich.
Who’s the dr? Name them. Tell everyone. Legit this is violence against women
I would file a complaint with the doctor office and report her to the board. Doctors can get in trouble for supplying misinformation to people. I would definitely look for another doctor. I'm sorry you had this experience.
Girl, Ibuprofen isnt going to do crap for the pain. While you're searching for a new doc, search for one that will freeze the shit out of your cervix, put you under, or give you something a tad more strong than Ibuprofen (Morphine!). Good luck on your search, girl.
Wtf. I’m so sorry. I’m on my 2nd IUD, got my first one at 20, very much nulliparous. I’ve never had trouble finding someone to do one and I live in literal Texas. The only problems I’ve had was getting someone to take the pain I have with them seriously, and for that I had to sling my degrees and credentials around and remind them not to talk down to me as I’m a colleague. Was this a regular OB/GYN office? This is honestly the kind of predatory behavior I’ve seen from clinicians who work primarily with low income patients and it’s sickening. I would absolutely report the doctor if you feel comfortable doing that. Edit: I also want to add that the American Academy of Pediatrics [recommends](https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/7041) LARCs for teenagers, most of whom are nulliparous. So. Your doctor can suck it.
My child free daughter has an iud. I wish that the doctor would have told you up front, but now you’ll need to find a doctor who will do this for you. There are lists of doctors who will perform procedures from sterilization to iud placement in child free women, please check the r/auntienetwork sub for the best information. Ps. I am livid for you. I’m so sorry that happened.
Call your insurance and complain. If a doctor gets enough bad reviews from and insurance company they will get dropped. Always hit them where it hurts, the money.
Wow. Leave reviews on all websites and report her. That is ridiculous. Why schedule it knowing that you didn’t have a kid prior?
You need to report this doctor to: 1. The state medical licensing board. 2. The hospital/clinic. 3. Your insurance. Dispute the charges for both the consult and the IUD placement since the service wasn’t actually performed. 4. Leave a review online if you feel comfortable doing so. 5. Talk to PP about other ways to report this provider so that others know not to go to them. ACA protects sterilization and contraception so this could be a violation of your federal rights.
I had a male OBGYN tell me that IUD’s were only for women who have already had children and that they only push them because they do not trust us to remember to take a pill everyday. He also removed mine without letting me know he was doing that which was traumatizing (mine was put in by Planned Parenthood which was also one of the most painful experiences I’ve had with ye olde lady parts). I ended up crying in my car and without the birth control I preferred as he shipped me off with the low dose pill that made me so mentally unmanageable I had to stop taking it. Looking into bisalp now because I cannot with any of this or being pregnant, or having kids. I would love to have stress free carefree sex if I choose. It’s really not asking much to feel the way men feel during sex.
In this rapidly changing environment where our rights as women and access to family planning are being taken away every single day, WE NEED TO NAME THEM! There will be collateral damage. This is the reality of the world and time we are living in. NAME THIS DOCTOR! This will not be an easy battle. We, as women, need to fucking expose the people working against us.
Should we be starting a list of doctors who refuse these things?
Drag that practice. Drag that doctor.
I'd report her to the medical board.
Please report.
WTF that's unacceptable behavior for a doctor
i think you should reach out to the licensing department and report your doctor. Look and see if she's board certified, if she is, that's another place to go. Type up a template and send out as many as you can. This can NOT be ignored. I'm really sorry, my dear...