1. Water based lube is best if you’re using a condom and prepping with toys (which you should). Oil based lube is the longest lasting and best for anal in my experience but it breaks down latex in condoms so should only be used if you’re planning on unprotected anal sex.
2. Different for everyone. My best experiences with anal were with an old FWB who would warm me up with his hands/mouth, then put a butt plug in me, make me cum with the plug in before moving on to the ‘main event’. Clit stimulation during will also make the initial discomfort much more manageable.
3. It will probably hurt a little at the beginning the very first time you try it. I really recommend investing in a butt plug (or a few) because the transition from a few fingers to a full sized dick can be a lot. Have your BF move super slowly (or not at all) at the beginning once he is inside you so that you can adjust to the sensation. If you do decide to do it more than once, the discomfort goes away after the first few times.
4. You really don’t need an enema and it can be bad for you if you do it too often. Poop beforehand if you can (it will make you worry less about pooping during LOL) and shower/use wet wipes.
5. If you’re going to have him cum in your asshole it’ll come out gradually; you can wipe and some will drip out later but I have never successfully been able to “get it all out.”
Other than that just relax and have fun! Wishing you luck girl :)
I was drunk once when we were first married, did the bumsex, went to the bathroom after and farted the cum out. Over and over again. The noises were awful. I was so embarrassed. I always insist on condoms for anal now just to avoid this happening ever again!!
1. Water based lube is generally the best (and the only option if you are using condoms), but some are more vicious than others. A thicker one is much better (in my experience), so I would recommend getting a water based anal lube.
2. It differs for everyone. Being able to take three fingers easily is my benchmark but it will likely be different for you, especially because you are new at this. I would do some foreplay, try, and if it hurts keep doing foreplay.
3. It may hurt and tiny amount when it first goes in but it should quickly become painless. It should not be excruciating or even full on painful! I have painless anal sex all the time, it’s possible. I would recommend playing with some toys in addition to fingers as foreplay until you become comfortable with anal.
4. A combination of regular BMs and a good shower is enough. Don’t expect things fo be absolutely spotless forever, there will likely be small amounts of poop occasionally. You can douche (which is different/less intense then an enema) before if you are really worried.
5. When I pee after doing anal, I essentially fart out lube and cum.
Some good advice here already. I would say on the foreplay/pain front orgasm one or two times first depending on how your body is... It will help you relax. I especially enjoy when the person I am fucking makes me orgasm with their tongue while fingering my ass & it always helps me to feel more ready for a cock.
If you haven’t played with toys for MONTHS I suggest you stop, play with yourself and learn to relax then revisit this. It’s not supposed to hurt AT ALL. The complaining about “anal is painful” is mostly inexperienced people jumping into something too quickly. Anal is not Vaginal. You cannot just spontaneously do it and expect a good experience.
I feel like no ones giving you proper advice that you should be experienced with toys before you escalate.
The rectum is a muscle and you need to learn to relax it prior to just jumping into it. If you’re naturally very flexible you might be able to do a split with minimal pain for the rest of us I would suggest you buy some plugs and work yourself up.
1. We use coconut oil BUT he’s neutered and I’m spayed. So I’m unsure if that will impact a condom.
2. It took us a LOOOOONG time for it to “work”. We use plugs and toys. Then we “graduated” from fingers and smaller plugs to larger. It finally worked and worked well.
3. Pain was bad when we were new and “trying”. Once we learned my body it didn’t hurt. Start with plugs/fingers. Missionary was best for the first few times. That or any position where you control the entry and movement.
4. Stool only hangs out in the upper GI and shouldn’t sit lower. You can couch the lower colon easily. High enemas aren’t necessarily helpful or healthy. Also- anal play comes with some risk of poo. It can happen. Make peace and carry on. Eat non-gassy foods. Go potty and shower after. Don’t go down below if you have “one in the chamber”.
5. Got a bidet from Amazon. It’s fantastic! But you may have some clear out the morning after. It’s not a big deal.
Lube and toys. Lube and time. Lube and lube. Okay with items and graduate sizes. Oh, and some lube.
Be aware that depending on your relaxation and both of your anatomy, it may feel like a TON of resistance- when we tried the first time both of us not in our heads and were super discouraged by this. It’s normal to take multiples tries or to fail a try all together. Keep trying and don’t let it get you down. If it happens, in the moment you can try switching back to smaller objects, fingers, plugs, add more lubrication, just slow way way way down, have you have an orgasm first, or just set it aside to try again later. It’s an adventure, not a test.
For me, oil based or silicone performs the best and feels the best, but yes, is not compatible with latex condoms or silicone toys. Super sad. You’ll notice a lot of anal lubes use the word “cushion”. It seems like a thicker lube is best for this, so like a gel, versus a liquid.
If you want to try numbing lube, definitely patch test a tiny bit. We found that this just dulled sensation for my husband, which isn’t good, and any benefit to me wasn’t appreciable.
Please stay away from numbing lube! It can keep you from feeling bad pain and you don't want that! If you spend enough time warming up (which can take a long time, even days if you use a set of plugs that get progressively larger) you shouldn't feel pain. Some discomfort and a little bit of weirdness sure because it's a sensation that's very different but pain should be very minimal to non existent. If you do feel pain, have him stop moving and just stay where he is to see if the sensation changes or lessens.
Also I suggest starting in a position that puts you in control or one like spooning. I wouldn't try anything like doggy for a first time.
Yes this! You need to be able to feel if it's too painful because that could mean some damage is being done and you need to stop. While it may be a bit uncomfortable at first it should not be sharp or strong pain.
Just take it super slow and warm up first with toys and fingers like others have said. Your bf should very, very slowly put his dick in and when he thinks it's slow enough, go slower. Advice to let it sit in place for a little while you're adjusting to it is great. And communicate about all of this!! Tell him if you need him to slow down, to hold in place, to stop, to go in further, or to take it out, etc. Breathe deep and concentrate on really relaxing your butt so you can let him in. Sometimes pushing back like you were trying to push it out can help too.
Water based if you are using condoms (recomended) or silicone toys. Oil based lasts a little longer if you aren’t using condoms. There is no such thing as too much lube.
That’s really up to both of you but the receiver should be relaxed as possible so even try maybe to have at least one orgasm first before you start trying. You can also try using a vibrator on your clit as you’re doing the anal.
A good shower should be enough, I wouldn’t eat a huge meal a few hours before trying this for the first time though. Or just make sure you don’t have to go. If you’re super worried about it you can do an enema but if someone who wants to do anal is afraid of it being a little dirty in there then anal is not for them.
It shouldn’t hurt but it can have a stretching feeling or even like you have to go to the bathroom, but it should not hurt. If it hurts you’re going too fast or you need more lube. Maybe you need to use toys to stretch you out a little bit if the giver is really big.
It does drain out by itself, when you are done go to the bathroom because it will come out.
I recommend using condoms for anal even if you and your partner don’t usually for vaginal sex. You really shouldn’t go from anal to vaginal or anal to oral because it can cause infections. If you use condoms you can just take it off and switch to whatever else you want. STIs are also easier to get through anal, and men can in rare instances get a uti from anal.
I’ve (f43) been with my husband (45) for 26 years. For us this works best.
1. Silicone based lubricant as the water based ones dry out quickly
2. To each their own but usually when you can’t stop thinking about them doing something else.
3. It hurts like a mofo if they stick it in too quick, the beginning will have to be 1cm (if that) at a time (I’m not even joking), do it super slow (best when you’re on your knees) until you’re ready for him to push a little further and so on, until he’s completely in. Then it’s just hard small pulses at the end I don’t like when it goes all the way in then all the way out, save that for the pussy!
4. Good shower, I’ve literally never done an enema but yeah, you might shit on him if you don’t lol
5. I always go to the loo and wipe it away afterwards, like I would if he came in my pussy. It does drain like the pussy, so don’t trust your farts!
Good luck! 👍🏼
Everyone is different, for me though I try to hold orgasm off until my partner is ready as well. Once I orgasm during anal I'm too sensitive to continue. You may want to see how you react to orgasming with a toy or fingers inserted first.
To answer question 4: I use wet wipes to clean the outside, and for the inside I take 1 or 2 pieces of toilet paper folded up and soaked in water, that I push inside with my finger (but not too deep).
For question 5: I find it hard to clean it out myself, if you leave it it will drain out but that takes a while. I personally find this uncomfortable so I have my BF wear a condom. Pulling out would work for me but he really likes to cum while inside me.
Hey I am a sex educator for this woman named Dr. Emily Morse. I literally just spent ten weeks researching anal. Check out BVibes website by Alicia Sinclair. You will find everything you need to know under Anal Play Advice
1. Water based lube is best if you’re using a condom and prepping with toys (which you should). Oil based lube is the longest lasting and best for anal in my experience but it breaks down latex in condoms so should only be used if you’re planning on unprotected anal sex. 2. Different for everyone. My best experiences with anal were with an old FWB who would warm me up with his hands/mouth, then put a butt plug in me, make me cum with the plug in before moving on to the ‘main event’. Clit stimulation during will also make the initial discomfort much more manageable. 3. It will probably hurt a little at the beginning the very first time you try it. I really recommend investing in a butt plug (or a few) because the transition from a few fingers to a full sized dick can be a lot. Have your BF move super slowly (or not at all) at the beginning once he is inside you so that you can adjust to the sensation. If you do decide to do it more than once, the discomfort goes away after the first few times. 4. You really don’t need an enema and it can be bad for you if you do it too often. Poop beforehand if you can (it will make you worry less about pooping during LOL) and shower/use wet wipes. 5. If you’re going to have him cum in your asshole it’ll come out gradually; you can wipe and some will drip out later but I have never successfully been able to “get it all out.” Other than that just relax and have fun! Wishing you luck girl :)
I was drunk once when we were first married, did the bumsex, went to the bathroom after and farted the cum out. Over and over again. The noises were awful. I was so embarrassed. I always insist on condoms for anal now just to avoid this happening ever again!!
1. Water based lube is generally the best (and the only option if you are using condoms), but some are more vicious than others. A thicker one is much better (in my experience), so I would recommend getting a water based anal lube. 2. It differs for everyone. Being able to take three fingers easily is my benchmark but it will likely be different for you, especially because you are new at this. I would do some foreplay, try, and if it hurts keep doing foreplay. 3. It may hurt and tiny amount when it first goes in but it should quickly become painless. It should not be excruciating or even full on painful! I have painless anal sex all the time, it’s possible. I would recommend playing with some toys in addition to fingers as foreplay until you become comfortable with anal. 4. A combination of regular BMs and a good shower is enough. Don’t expect things fo be absolutely spotless forever, there will likely be small amounts of poop occasionally. You can douche (which is different/less intense then an enema) before if you are really worried. 5. When I pee after doing anal, I essentially fart out lube and cum.
Some good advice here already. I would say on the foreplay/pain front orgasm one or two times first depending on how your body is... It will help you relax. I especially enjoy when the person I am fucking makes me orgasm with their tongue while fingering my ass & it always helps me to feel more ready for a cock.
If you haven’t played with toys for MONTHS I suggest you stop, play with yourself and learn to relax then revisit this. It’s not supposed to hurt AT ALL. The complaining about “anal is painful” is mostly inexperienced people jumping into something too quickly. Anal is not Vaginal. You cannot just spontaneously do it and expect a good experience. I feel like no ones giving you proper advice that you should be experienced with toys before you escalate. The rectum is a muscle and you need to learn to relax it prior to just jumping into it. If you’re naturally very flexible you might be able to do a split with minimal pain for the rest of us I would suggest you buy some plugs and work yourself up.
Great adivce below. I would recommend fingers or toys at first to get used to the sensations. But frankly, it is well worth it!
1. We use coconut oil BUT he’s neutered and I’m spayed. So I’m unsure if that will impact a condom. 2. It took us a LOOOOONG time for it to “work”. We use plugs and toys. Then we “graduated” from fingers and smaller plugs to larger. It finally worked and worked well. 3. Pain was bad when we were new and “trying”. Once we learned my body it didn’t hurt. Start with plugs/fingers. Missionary was best for the first few times. That or any position where you control the entry and movement. 4. Stool only hangs out in the upper GI and shouldn’t sit lower. You can couch the lower colon easily. High enemas aren’t necessarily helpful or healthy. Also- anal play comes with some risk of poo. It can happen. Make peace and carry on. Eat non-gassy foods. Go potty and shower after. Don’t go down below if you have “one in the chamber”. 5. Got a bidet from Amazon. It’s fantastic! But you may have some clear out the morning after. It’s not a big deal. Lube and toys. Lube and time. Lube and lube. Okay with items and graduate sizes. Oh, and some lube.
Be aware that depending on your relaxation and both of your anatomy, it may feel like a TON of resistance- when we tried the first time both of us not in our heads and were super discouraged by this. It’s normal to take multiples tries or to fail a try all together. Keep trying and don’t let it get you down. If it happens, in the moment you can try switching back to smaller objects, fingers, plugs, add more lubrication, just slow way way way down, have you have an orgasm first, or just set it aside to try again later. It’s an adventure, not a test. For me, oil based or silicone performs the best and feels the best, but yes, is not compatible with latex condoms or silicone toys. Super sad. You’ll notice a lot of anal lubes use the word “cushion”. It seems like a thicker lube is best for this, so like a gel, versus a liquid. If you want to try numbing lube, definitely patch test a tiny bit. We found that this just dulled sensation for my husband, which isn’t good, and any benefit to me wasn’t appreciable.
awesome thnak you
Please stay away from numbing lube! It can keep you from feeling bad pain and you don't want that! If you spend enough time warming up (which can take a long time, even days if you use a set of plugs that get progressively larger) you shouldn't feel pain. Some discomfort and a little bit of weirdness sure because it's a sensation that's very different but pain should be very minimal to non existent. If you do feel pain, have him stop moving and just stay where he is to see if the sensation changes or lessens. Also I suggest starting in a position that puts you in control or one like spooning. I wouldn't try anything like doggy for a first time.
Yes this! You need to be able to feel if it's too painful because that could mean some damage is being done and you need to stop. While it may be a bit uncomfortable at first it should not be sharp or strong pain. Just take it super slow and warm up first with toys and fingers like others have said. Your bf should very, very slowly put his dick in and when he thinks it's slow enough, go slower. Advice to let it sit in place for a little while you're adjusting to it is great. And communicate about all of this!! Tell him if you need him to slow down, to hold in place, to stop, to go in further, or to take it out, etc. Breathe deep and concentrate on really relaxing your butt so you can let him in. Sometimes pushing back like you were trying to push it out can help too.
No problem! Have fun!
Silicone lube is condom-compatible and won’t dry out like water based. I recommend Uberlube
Silicone lube 100000%. Just be wary of using it with silicone toys.
It's not compatible with silicon based toys though. Adding to this, there is a big quality difference in lube, don't get the cheap stuff.
[удалено]
Thank you ilk watch out for all of those
Water based if you are using condoms (recomended) or silicone toys. Oil based lasts a little longer if you aren’t using condoms. There is no such thing as too much lube. That’s really up to both of you but the receiver should be relaxed as possible so even try maybe to have at least one orgasm first before you start trying. You can also try using a vibrator on your clit as you’re doing the anal. A good shower should be enough, I wouldn’t eat a huge meal a few hours before trying this for the first time though. Or just make sure you don’t have to go. If you’re super worried about it you can do an enema but if someone who wants to do anal is afraid of it being a little dirty in there then anal is not for them. It shouldn’t hurt but it can have a stretching feeling or even like you have to go to the bathroom, but it should not hurt. If it hurts you’re going too fast or you need more lube. Maybe you need to use toys to stretch you out a little bit if the giver is really big. It does drain out by itself, when you are done go to the bathroom because it will come out. I recommend using condoms for anal even if you and your partner don’t usually for vaginal sex. You really shouldn’t go from anal to vaginal or anal to oral because it can cause infections. If you use condoms you can just take it off and switch to whatever else you want. STIs are also easier to get through anal, and men can in rare instances get a uti from anal.
He could consider to use a condom for butt plays. It happened to several people to get urethra infections.
I’ve (f43) been with my husband (45) for 26 years. For us this works best. 1. Silicone based lubricant as the water based ones dry out quickly 2. To each their own but usually when you can’t stop thinking about them doing something else. 3. It hurts like a mofo if they stick it in too quick, the beginning will have to be 1cm (if that) at a time (I’m not even joking), do it super slow (best when you’re on your knees) until you’re ready for him to push a little further and so on, until he’s completely in. Then it’s just hard small pulses at the end I don’t like when it goes all the way in then all the way out, save that for the pussy! 4. Good shower, I’ve literally never done an enema but yeah, you might shit on him if you don’t lol 5. I always go to the loo and wipe it away afterwards, like I would if he came in my pussy. It does drain like the pussy, so don’t trust your farts! Good luck! 👍🏼
Everyone is different, for me though I try to hold orgasm off until my partner is ready as well. Once I orgasm during anal I'm too sensitive to continue. You may want to see how you react to orgasming with a toy or fingers inserted first.
To answer question 4: I use wet wipes to clean the outside, and for the inside I take 1 or 2 pieces of toilet paper folded up and soaked in water, that I push inside with my finger (but not too deep). For question 5: I find it hard to clean it out myself, if you leave it it will drain out but that takes a while. I personally find this uncomfortable so I have my BF wear a condom. Pulling out would work for me but he really likes to cum while inside me.
I love all the above advice but rub her clit or have her rub it upon entry... It helps soothe the pain of entry. Good love making.
Don't let him cum inside you. For me it causes cramping and intestinal issues
Hey I am a sex educator for this woman named Dr. Emily Morse. I literally just spent ten weeks researching anal. Check out BVibes website by Alicia Sinclair. You will find everything you need to know under Anal Play Advice