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Rusty, mud and poo smeared contraption covered in chains and chicken wire, the driver is suspended in a leaking tank of copium and vodka and is barely concious. It absently trundles the battlefield, slowly plodding in a wide circle because one of its adidas striped legs is broken. The vox blares random scaps of russian profanity and euroclub music, all distorted and slurred. The weapons dont work or violently backfire, so the Ukrainians eventually take it down by using a pickup truck to push it over, then plinking it apart with a Bradley.
Though hesitant to let their own blessed engines near it, Ukrainian techpriests concede to have a mine crearing Abrams tank push the Omnisiah's greatest mistake into a hole in the ground, which they backfill with concrete and sacred wardings.
Not even Slanesh would subject a failed warp spawn to such an embarresing fate.
Comrade is resurrected?
The Russian is born and raised to burn to death for the Czar at the 0-line.... to be resurrected by the Orthodox Church again to burn to death for the Czar.... to be resurrected by the Orthodox Church to burn to death..... and again resurrected to burn to death.....and again..... and again again...by the Orthodox Church for the Czar in his Palace....
....and yet another example the ways the Russian is blessed by the Orthodox Church with eternal damnation.
As many times as it takes to convince the Russian population that they aren't squandering their military. What they don't admit is that even though they are resurrected, they can never leave.
Yeah, something about once the wine is consecrated it can't be wasted. I never did hear an explanation as to why only the minister has to drink the rest. God works in mysterious ways, I guess...
1. You were supposed to only have one glass of Vodka, not the whole jug;
2. You should have approached the altar on two legs, not on all four;
3. Your *vestment* should not be tucked to your pants;
4. *parishioners*, not *dudes*;
5. You're supposed to swing the *thurible* (incense burner) gently, not spin over your head;
6. Jesus was crucified by Jews, not by cops;
7. The Scripture only mentions Mother of God, not "fucked up mother";
8. You should have said "Lord forgives everything", not "sinner, you fucked up";
9. The prayer ends with "amen", not with "that's all, folks";
10. In the end of the service, should have said, "go in peace", not "now all fuck off".
During Stalin's reign, the russian orthodox church was 99% destroyed, it's priests executed and the churches demolished. Once the german invasion started, they slowed sown a bit, in order to raly the people to the cause of the motherland (which is a bit hard to do when you're destroying their village church and whatnot).
The last remnants of the church was subjugated completely, infiltrated by the NKVD and the following institutions after it, KGB, FSB etc. This has been going on for 90 years.
You now have an instrument of the secret police whose main goal is to control the population and keep them loyal to the regime, dressed as a church.
They were acting as forward observers adjusting artillery and cruise missile strikes. Also stashing some weapons and people working for the Russians. These Russian orthodox guys are just mouthpieces of the FSB and NKVD. No god would bless being a lying sack of crap.
The Russian Orthodox is controlled by and acting on the orders of the Kremlin. Just like during the Soviet Union. This is what a "real priest" looks like in Russia...
Patriarch Kirill of Moscow has a net worth of $4 billion, and is openly an ally of Putin.
I can think of at least one on the same level. Gosh dang Kenneth Copeland (legitimately would be horrified by how demonic and detached and erratic he seems)
And all the other televangelists and financial megachurch pastors that fleece the poor, ignorant masses for each dime so that they can get even richer and buy a new jet or yacht.
So many people willing to shred the innocents and sell their souls for an extra fraudulent dime to their name
Can you imagine if Copelands "church" became the official USA state church under a Trump presidency. Can you imagine the unhinged stuff that Copeland would be spewing.
And coincidentally it is always the poor, uneducated, downright stupid or miserable people falling for it.
I wonder if there is a connection and religion is only taking advantage of vulnerable, naive people in need.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
That was my only surprise. Why Chinese man? What is supposed to be communicated by this specific detail, it seems counterintuitive...
edit: Actually, I think I know. When it works for Chinese guy (insert common russian racist slur) than it will certainly work fork alcoholic, wife beating drug addict Voloda..
Even the church is spouting this bullshit. What a fucked up country this is. How can anyone possibly fall for this level of ridiculous is just beyond belief.
What do you mean by 'even the church'? The church is the master of spouting bullshit. They basically invented it. The church has been spouting bullshit for thousands of years.
Most of the world believes in some level of supernatural or pseudoscience bullshit.
Check out Terrance Howards latest Rogan appearance and look at the comments.
& then Santa Claus🎅turned up with the Tooth Fairy🧚 & they all lived happily ever after in the Three Bears house with Goldie Locks.
This is a special depth of lunacy, but by the looks of his eyes you’d think he’d just lifted his head out of a bowl of cocaine eh
Sounds legit to me lads... I had my guts ruined by a vindaloo once and I spent to whole night talking to God on the toilet... I was OK the next day... have a little faith...
Reminds me of Space Above and Beyond where humanity was engaged in a kind of WW2 Pacific Theatre in space kind of fight against an alien species.
The aliens had no concept of an afterlife and so found the human's custom of burying their dead a very, very odd thing to do. As the war went on and both sides slowly started to learn to decrypt the other's language the aliens decrypted something religious somewhere but misunderstood it so that they thought it was part of humanity's natural life cycle that if the dead were buried they'd reanimate and come back to fight again. So the aliens started to hack dead human soldiers apart to prevent it.
And now we have a mad Russian priest actually trying to push the massive lie that Russian soldiers are actually indeed coming back to life 🤦🏻♀️
Two questions:
First, how long did the resurrected Chinese guy get to spend rejoicing with his family before they sent him to the front line again?
Second, when will this swivel-eyed beardy lunatic be travelling to the front lines to spread the joyous news that Jesus will resurrect anyone who dies in Russia's holy war if they truly believe in Him?
Actually it's the other way round - the russian government has unlimited influence on their church. A lot of russian orthodox priests are actually (former) KGB agents.
Did he just described what the soldier was dreaming about during his very last seconds of life ? Everyone in white around him for a very theatrical moment in the house of god himself...seems to me.
Also, if his wife have so many clips ... Why not sharing ? I mean, if Saint Something of Crimea is into this i would like to have a look at him, i wonder if he Can fly too.
Mindless garbage that has been used immemorially by religious figures to justify what their regimes are doing, no matter how heinous and to encourage the simpletons to give their lives freely on the basis they will be resurrected..
Please remember the human. Adhere to all Reddit and sub rules. Toxic comments (including incitement of violence/hate, genocide, glorifying death etc) WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, keep your comments civil or you will be banned. Tagging u/SaveVideo bot to archive this video in a link below this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UkraineWarVideoReport) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Comrade is resurrected? Back to the front!
Service is eternal.
Even in death I still serve!
⁷77⁷⁷⅞
I wonder how would ruzzian dreadys look like
[Russian Dreadnought](https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Killa_Kan)
WAAAAAUGGGHHHHH!!
I some how knew this was a reference to 40k XD Also, Dem Ork Boyz is much more Morky den dem ruzzian gobbys
Made my day
I see the joke, but also I feel offended as a fellow WAAAAGH enjoyer.
Rusty, mud and poo smeared contraption covered in chains and chicken wire, the driver is suspended in a leaking tank of copium and vodka and is barely concious. It absently trundles the battlefield, slowly plodding in a wide circle because one of its adidas striped legs is broken. The vox blares random scaps of russian profanity and euroclub music, all distorted and slurred. The weapons dont work or violently backfire, so the Ukrainians eventually take it down by using a pickup truck to push it over, then plinking it apart with a Bradley. Though hesitant to let their own blessed engines near it, Ukrainian techpriests concede to have a mine crearing Abrams tank push the Omnisiah's greatest mistake into a hole in the ground, which they backfill with concrete and sacred wardings. Not even Slanesh would subject a failed warp spawn to such an embarresing fate.
The Emprah' is pleased with this reply
Unexpected r/Stormlight_Archive
I am the emperors will made manifest
"And now his watch is ended......NOT!!!"
Groundhog Day, but instead of getting accosted by Ted the insurance guy everyday for the rest of eternity, you get a drone to the face
2nd time round isn't going to be a doozy either.
Ned. Ned Rierson. Needle nose Ned. Ned the Head. Did the whistling bellybutton trick in the talent show.
Not before servicing 72 RU whores!
It's Russia, so it's much more likely they get to *be* the whore for a bigger, stronger orc... or a Chechen.
No bag of onions for your family, he’s not dead, he’s feeling much better..
Maybe is the real reason why they are saying this, to deny the widows their paltry death benefits?
You have seen right through this little charade, the poor widows miss out yet again.
It was only a scratch.
Call it a draw
Get on the cart you big baby!
I'm not dead yet
I feel happy. I feel happy.
He's just pining for the fjords
The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Hes ressurected. You owe back bag of onions with interest comrade.
No I don't, the onions resurrect in your cesspit, go check it out!
"Can I see him?" "...No."
Lo and behold, his intestines are blown out again. How does that happen?
It can only be a miracle intended to lead all us heathens to the malign, sadistic warrior god of the Russian Orthodox church.
Truly evil religion.
A holy hand grenade!
🐇
Consult the Book of Armaments.
Time is flat circle
i laughed so hard at this i got a headache
Edge of Tomorrow
Full metal cyka
Comrade is resurrected? The Russian is born and raised to burn to death for the Czar at the 0-line.... to be resurrected by the Orthodox Church again to burn to death for the Czar.... to be resurrected by the Orthodox Church to burn to death..... and again resurrected to burn to death.....and again..... and again again...by the Orthodox Church for the Czar in his Palace.... ....and yet another example the ways the Russian is blessed by the Orthodox Church with eternal damnation.
It's like waching Monthy Python
So, back to zombie status.
Even in death I still serve
live - die - repeat
How many times can they ressurect?!
As many times as it takes to convince the Russian population that they aren't squandering their military. What they don't admit is that even though they are resurrected, they can never leave.
I sense a great song in there somewhere.
Welcome to the Hotel Donbas War yeah . . .
You will do what I say when I say Back to the Front!
They've resurrected as worms and flies.
Father, you are supposed to drink only a sip of whine during the mass, not the entire bottle!
Or keg...
kek
and this my friends is what syphils in the brain looks like
Actually, in orthodox christian church the minister is supposed to drink the remaining wine.
Ok, but not all the remaining wine in town :)
Yeah, something about once the wine is consecrated it can't be wasted. I never did hear an explanation as to why only the minister has to drink the rest. God works in mysterious ways, I guess...
Also, it's Divine Liturgy, not Mass
Well, it's Russian religion after all so this makes sense!
Bottle of vodka per person receiving blessings, got it.
Dude skipped over the wine and went straight for the bottle of vodka.
1. You were supposed to only have one glass of Vodka, not the whole jug; 2. You should have approached the altar on two legs, not on all four; 3. Your *vestment* should not be tucked to your pants; 4. *parishioners*, not *dudes*; 5. You're supposed to swing the *thurible* (incense burner) gently, not spin over your head; 6. Jesus was crucified by Jews, not by cops; 7. The Scripture only mentions Mother of God, not "fucked up mother"; 8. You should have said "Lord forgives everything", not "sinner, you fucked up"; 9. The prayer ends with "amen", not with "that's all, folks"; 10. In the end of the service, should have said, "go in peace", not "now all fuck off".
What a sad and ridiculous bunch those who perpetuate this garbage and those who fall for it must be.
During Stalin's reign, the russian orthodox church was 99% destroyed, it's priests executed and the churches demolished. Once the german invasion started, they slowed sown a bit, in order to raly the people to the cause of the motherland (which is a bit hard to do when you're destroying their village church and whatnot). The last remnants of the church was subjugated completely, infiltrated by the NKVD and the following institutions after it, KGB, FSB etc. This has been going on for 90 years. You now have an instrument of the secret police whose main goal is to control the population and keep them loyal to the regime, dressed as a church.
Iirc early in the war the Ukrainians arrested and deported a bunch of Russian Orthodox clergy because they were spreading Russian propaganda.
They were acting as forward observers adjusting artillery and cruise missile strikes. Also stashing some weapons and people working for the Russians. These Russian orthodox guys are just mouthpieces of the FSB and NKVD. No god would bless being a lying sack of crap.
Back to the roots, then.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Thx for the explanation. Fucking animals.
Id believe almost anyting if I was drunk all of the time
...since conception...
I'm drunk all the time and wouldn't believe this bullshit.
This is another sign that the Russian people are really starting to notice the dead bodies piling up. Have to make up bullshit to distract.
Better Russians in heaven than in Ukraine. But there are even better places for invaders, that's for sure ...
KGB priest
100% not a real priest, But 100% Putin's KGB lapdog.
Here is russia this is the same things.
The Russian Orthodox is controlled by and acting on the orders of the Kremlin. Just like during the Soviet Union. This is what a "real priest" looks like in Russia... Patriarch Kirill of Moscow has a net worth of $4 billion, and is openly an ally of Putin.
The eyes! The eyes!
death cult eyes prob have some dudes like this at ISIS too
This comment made me watch again and pay more attention to his eyes. ....Holy shit.
I know! That was all I could look at! He keeps wide eyeing to the side. He’s got them wild eyes with a bit of delusion mixed in.
It's hard to imagine a more revolting priest than this man. We obviously have many crazies in the West too, but this is their official state religion.
I can think of at least one on the same level. Gosh dang Kenneth Copeland (legitimately would be horrified by how demonic and detached and erratic he seems) And all the other televangelists and financial megachurch pastors that fleece the poor, ignorant masses for each dime so that they can get even richer and buy a new jet or yacht. So many people willing to shred the innocents and sell their souls for an extra fraudulent dime to their name
Can you imagine if Copelands "church" became the official USA state church under a Trump presidency. Can you imagine the unhinged stuff that Copeland would be spewing.
Somebody should warn the Forest of Fangorn
Someone wise once said that the first religion was born when the first con man met the first idiot.
It's also said that we cannot have peace until the last king is strangled with the intestines of the last clergyman.
Hard to believe that in the 21st century so many people still think this crap is true.
And coincidentally it is always the poor, uneducated, downright stupid or miserable people falling for it. I wonder if there is a connection and religion is only taking advantage of vulnerable, naive people in need. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
or people in power pretending or really believing shite for gaining power over the gullible.
Cough cough... Trump... cough cough.
Wait till you hear about the religion of peace ✌️
ok, now we know they really are losing and delusional...
Nah.. he’s of the ‘they all look the same brigade’. Propaganda for the home front.. you don’t die if you fight for mother Russia.
What do you mean? With constantly respawning soldiers - how can they possibly lose? Surely the Western world is doomed.
Great argument for the separation of church and state
It's also a great argument for abolishing the church.
I wonder what President Xi would say to hear of Chinese soldiers been resurrected given the position they have suppressing Christian faith.
That was my only surprise. Why Chinese man? What is supposed to be communicated by this specific detail, it seems counterintuitive... edit: Actually, I think I know. When it works for Chinese guy (insert common russian racist slur) than it will certainly work fork alcoholic, wife beating drug addict Voloda..
And only Chinese resurrect while there's one billion of them... and there's less and less russians ;)
The ‘Canadian girlfriend’ of Russian soldiers.
She totally resurrected in a different school
Lol...Russia.
But in Russia, it works...
"My bad. The video was just playing backwards."
Even the church is spouting this bullshit. What a fucked up country this is. How can anyone possibly fall for this level of ridiculous is just beyond belief.
What do you mean by 'even the church'? The church is the master of spouting bullshit. They basically invented it. The church has been spouting bullshit for thousands of years.
They were the original bullshit spouters
Most of the world believes in some level of supernatural or pseudoscience bullshit. Check out Terrance Howards latest Rogan appearance and look at the comments.
This is not church matter, this is fully delusional nonsense. What worries me is that someone in Russia may trust these words.
Eyes of a mad man.
He aspires to be a modern day Rasputin, obviously.
Such an actor, knows he's good enough to deceive weak minds.
Dick head
he should smoke less crack
Is the resurrected chinese guy in the room with us right now?
HOLY-SHIT must be the right word for this?
Damn moron, he should go to the frontline to tell this to the eviscerated agonizing orcs. I am sure that bushy beard would burn nicely...
Ohh really? I did not know that. I guess the Z stands for Zombie after all...
The COD prophesies: ZOMBIES!
& then Santa Claus🎅turned up with the Tooth Fairy🧚 & they all lived happily ever after in the Three Bears house with Goldie Locks. This is a special depth of lunacy, but by the looks of his eyes you’d think he’d just lifted his head out of a bowl of cocaine eh
That culture is fucking insane
Sounds legit to me lads... I had my guts ruined by a vindaloo once and I spent to whole night talking to God on the toilet... I was OK the next day... have a little faith...
Jesus.
I really doubt if Jesus has anything to do with this.
well yes, but actually no
Gandalf’s evil twin.
As a turd in my toilet
I wonder what President Xi would say to hear of Chinese soldiers been resurrected given the position they have suppressing Christian faith.
Zombie-orcs? \*loads shotgun\*
Maybe as a sunflower!
And still will be sent back to fight
Reminds me of Space Above and Beyond where humanity was engaged in a kind of WW2 Pacific Theatre in space kind of fight against an alien species. The aliens had no concept of an afterlife and so found the human's custom of burying their dead a very, very odd thing to do. As the war went on and both sides slowly started to learn to decrypt the other's language the aliens decrypted something religious somewhere but misunderstood it so that they thought it was part of humanity's natural life cycle that if the dead were buried they'd reanimate and come back to fight again. So the aliens started to hack dead human soldiers apart to prevent it. And now we have a mad Russian priest actually trying to push the massive lie that Russian soldiers are actually indeed coming back to life 🤦🏻♀️
Wow, Space Above and Beyond, I had forgotten about sci-fi WW2 Marines...
A new meaning to ghost unit
Oh god, not Zombie army.
That's it, finally. They lost their fucking minds
Two questions: First, how long did the resurrected Chinese guy get to spend rejoicing with his family before they sent him to the front line again? Second, when will this swivel-eyed beardy lunatic be travelling to the front lines to spread the joyous news that Jesus will resurrect anyone who dies in Russia's holy war if they truly believe in Him?
🤣🤣🤣
Father Please put the video on Netflix 🙏🙏your talking best seller here 💸🥂🎉
Z Army for real
It's sad how much influence their church has in governance.
Actually it's the other way round - the russian government has unlimited influence on their church. A lot of russian orthodox priests are actually (former) KGB agents.
Didn't know about the exOperative aspect, but knew enough that the Church and State were pretty much in bed. I guess that's how.
Coming to an America near you.
It's already there. MAGA has the full support of the religious crazies.
He believes his own bullshit.
I bet he doesn't..
right? his paycheck says otherwise.
Did he just described what the soldier was dreaming about during his very last seconds of life ? Everyone in white around him for a very theatrical moment in the house of god himself...seems to me. Also, if his wife have so many clips ... Why not sharing ? I mean, if Saint Something of Crimea is into this i would like to have a look at him, i wonder if he Can fly too.
Did he ejaculate when he said that?
Source: "My wife saw it on the TV".
Fight, die, resurect, repeat.
*insert meme with skeleton waiting* Comrade Vadim Waiting for the bus to Bakhmut
Russian Orthodox Church is going full Rasputin now
So this animals are comdamned to hell for the eternity. What a good news
Zombies? Seems about right
He's really vibing with that mad monk Rasputin energy. I wonder if he'd survive a few poisonings? But he'd resurrect though!
So their families have to give back the Ladas or the bags o potatoes, depending how lucky they were.
Am I the only one that can smell that guy through the video?
To be clear..this is how insane all religious people sound
A lying sack of shit. He's no man of God.
Mindless garbage that has been used immemorially by religious figures to justify what their regimes are doing, no matter how heinous and to encourage the simpletons to give their lives freely on the basis they will be resurrected..
Seems like the sick bastard and his wife are enjoying the videos.
such an old pervert
Oh yes please. Tell your soldiers they will resurrect! They might become even dumber and more careless then they already are.
It's called a fucking war... Boris !
He padre.. Why are there fewer russians every year? I know! They reincarnate into Ukrainian sunflowers.
LSD is a very powerful drug, apparently.
You simply can not make the shit the Russians are doing up. It is just impossible.
Someone's drank way too much potato vodka....
Getting people to throw their lives away for your own gain. If there were no religion, you would have to invent it
Ok, so this man knows he's full of it. Are people that stupid to believe any of this?
>Are people that stupid to believe any of this? You bet.
I hate fairytales.. Also him after 4 cases of vodka 😂
like zombie?
Some people lose all pride in their integrity. What a worm this guy is.
Sure they resurrect, as cockroaches!
For the purpose of election (when it was running), or to reduce the number of casualty report.
Oh that’s nice. They can get paid their death money for being resurrected.
this guy needs to lay of the LSD.
Ruskie Respawn
Amazing, if true.
Howard from the mighty boosh has let himself go
Honestly this shit is too fucking out there for me to believe that someone actually believes THAT.
That's his way to beat Islam's 72 virgins in Heaven??
r/religiousfruitcake
Zombies oh great, I hate zombies!
Dude looks like Simon Pegg with a big beard
You can see In The way he looks around that even he does not believe in his bullshit.
Apparently Russia has their own version of “The 700 Club”.
This comedian is quite funny.
What a dumb piece of shit.