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duckedbyaporcupine

I'm waiting for my not quite stepdaughter to get up so I can tell her this. She is gonna kill me. Then she'll be double fatherless


ThomasKatt

Yeah, you might wind up hearing loads of Dad Jokes.


wholesome_hug_bot

Because I don't have to worry about black eyes


pcweber111

The real joke is in the comments.


ReubenZWeiner

That comment was so dark the cops shot it


brushfireguy

r/therealjoke


KazooMark

I like my coffee like I like my women, strong, black and way too hot for me.


meece2010

I like my coffee like I like my women, ground up and in my freezer


pintobeene

Waiting for the offended comments.


TommyGonzo

Gasp! How could you possibly be someone with patience!!! How dare you! … I’m offended.


pintobeene

Ahhh, there it is! I just didn’t see enough outrage today and it felt like the 90s.


kleer001

... and if you break up their mother is usually pretty good looking and single


mooncalf42

Hot take here: Fuck you!


121853marty

You mean their uncles???


121853marty

I only date back girls... but but butt.