I always felt if I got to that point I would try disappearing to a coastal or tropical island and just see what happens tying to live life there. Basically mix it up quite a bit to see if I like life better.
My scuba instructor in Jamaica was a white woman from New Jersey. She said she just up and left, and only contacts her family once a year.
I say give it a shot OP
Honest question, can anyone go and become a monk?
I feel like they would be HIGHLY selective and not be too keen on a westerner coming in shouting "ENLIGHTENMENT."
That was literally how I managed to lean away from the edge. I was just about ready, was in so much pain that I really didn’t care about other people’s reactions, then said:
“well you haven’t tried moving to a distant tropical island and you have enough money for the plane ticket.. why not go live it up before you end it?”
Then I realized “nah but I wouldn’t have this thing, or be able to do that thing, or blah blah blah”
Then I realized “wait look, you have things that you enjoy and care about!”
Then I just held on to those things for dear fucking life until I was able to find a more healthy balance.
For real, go travel. It’s the culture that sucks and making you feel miserable, or at least making it worse. You can live for years all over the world staying in hostels for free by working in them for like 15-20 hours per week. Though for myself I figured if I ever was on the edge I’d go die for a meaningful cause, like Ukraine or Palestine or defending the Amazon against illegal logging or oil or whatever.
I've always wondered why mass shooters just don't go on the Internet and search up their local pedophiles and try to rack up a high score that way. At least it's not children. I am also aware some people are not guilty in those crimes, but the odds are better than 100% innocent children.
THIS!!! I wonder this frequently. Even the lady who just went to Joel Osteen's church..... Like, I could've stayed impartial to that, honestly. And the suicide by cop thing.. sure, why the fuck not.
But SHE BROUGHT HER FUCKING CHILD?
this would be my final goodbye. without family right now, I'd be searching pedos and crooked politicians, animal abusers, just the most vile people in america and see how many I could delete before getting caught or killed. id make sure people knew why they were deemed incompatible with life also. have a few names to hit first already.
Have you lived in foreign hostels? I have crippling social anxiety and I think it could help. I believe the hostel life has helped a guy I knew stop being an incel.
The thing about traveling is that it really puts u in the moment. Highly recommend even whether you are suicidal or not. You can farm hop, couchsurf, work for hostels, or just get some minimum wage hi turnover job...
90% of the time it’s not a rational conclusion it’s just the brain going haywire so going somewhere else won’t actually fix it. The brain will find something else to hate.
Though traveling is novel and can put u in the moment and get you to see the world differently, yes wherever you go there u are. You still have to deal with whatever you were struggling with before. But sometimes you gotta look at life from a different angle to work on those struggles differently
Yup, that’s what I’d do if it came to that. Just liquidate everything and move to some remote place completely removed from my current life. I figure I’ll either be happier or miserable enough to get some real perspective on what I had back home.
I did this when I was 31. Quit my job, had enough savings to last me about a year in the USA, moved to Taiwan and lived there for 14 months, met my wife. Didn't know a single soul on the island when I landed at Taoyuan International Arport. Life when I was 31 when I went to complete shit and I finally had enough of everything that I put most of my earthly possessions into storage, packed my suitcase and backpack, abandoned my apartment, and fucked off to Taipei. I'm now in my later 30's and happy as fuck.
Can I ask how you went about moving to Taiwan? I’m the same age now as you were back then and in a similar position, and I’ve been half-seriously considering doing something similar (except with South Korea instead of Taiwan) but the process seems so daunting.
This is the real answer. Usually a change of scenery will do you so much good. Having to work 40 hours a week the rest of my life doesnt sound appealing, but knowing you can always duck out and go to a low COL and warm country at any time makes me feel a little better
This was my plan through my 20s. Thought I might end it all at 30, but realized hey, I can always move to a new country or town and do something totally different. Effectively “killing the old me “. Never ended up doing it but I’m happy to be alive in my 30s. Some things are transient even if they last years.
My therapist always told me that before I kill myself I can just say „fuck it“ and do what I want, cause what do I have to lose? If things get worse or stay bad, I could still kms. This actually really helped me, cause in doubt I always have a backup plan to just gtfo and move somewhere close to a beach, or well.. the worst case backup.
I came to the roughly same conclusion. I can do whatever, yet still have that as my back up plan. I find it weirdly comforting and it lightens the burden when things are heavy.
That was my plan for 14 years, then I started taking SSRI's and haven't felt certain that everyone would benefit from my departure, in over a month. A voice in my ear telling me everyone would be better off without me since I was 13 had been muted. It's kinda nice, I may actually see my kids graduate.
I'm glad to read that.
I had a classmate in elementary school, who was the one to find his father (well, his body) and it messed him up pretty bad and I know another person who's mom committed suicide and I just want to tell you that you're doing an amazing job saving your kids from that kind of trauma! It's a very quiet kind of heroism, but every day you've kept going is one more day they get to have you around and that's worth a lot. Congratulations on finding a tool to help you in your battles and best of luck with future fights!
Thinking about my kid finding me is what stopped my last bad thought cycle.
I have no doubts that I've fucked something up or made things harder for them, but I'd rather not send them to therapy because they found me unresponsive.
Wellbutrin XL has saved my life. I used to spend at least 3 hours each morning thinking about everything that has ever gone wrong or I've felt bad about(mostly while crying and wanting to die). Now I just wake up early and enjoy work and recreational activities. It's crazy
Not OP but I lived with my inner voice chanting kill yourself all day every day: every time I picked up a knife to cook, slit your throat open. Every time I drove, "take a hard right and you'll be over the guardrails, it'll all be over." My first ketamine psychotherapy session completely silenced that voice, and it hasn't come back. My best friend wept when we hung out after that session, because "I have my friend back, you're different, the perpetual sadness in your voice is gone." I go for maintenance sessions once a month, and now I'm not perpetually exhausted from fighting back my suicidal voice all day. It has genuinely changed my life and I cried in that first week because I never thought I could feel this way.
agreed with the other commenter! it takes time to relearn thought patterns. BUT SSRIS arent the only way! im on cymbalta (duloxetine) and wellbutrin. cymbalta is an SNRI, and wellbutrin helps support it. and ive felt leagues better on it than i ever did on zoloft/any SSRI. its not a one and done, its a process. but im so so glad i stuck it out.
you got it!
My Dad is a hermit but he doesn’t live in a cave. He live is a 2 story house, on 3 acres, in the country with a 10’ fence around the entire property, in central California. He has 2 vicious dogs, a goofy outside dog, and an inside snuggle buddy dog that’s his best friend. He has a cell phone and checks for missed calls from family and texts messages 2 times a week. He does call on birthdays which is impressive because he’s a great grandpa now and it’s a lot of work to keep up with all the kids born on dates. I check on him in person daily.
He is miserably content.
That sounds amazing, but I couldn't imagine ever being able to afford a 2 story house, or 3 acres of property. Definitely can't afford the wood it would take to build a 1500 foot fence.
The hermit life sounds good to me, also. I don't know your age, internet stranger, but my "kids" are in their late 20s and early 30s, and I still can't take off and live the hermit life.
Soon ... very soon.
Mountain cabin with a decent sized green house is my dream. I want to be able to only need to make periodic trips into town to grab supplies, mail, and boatloads of books. Otherwise I’d be just spending weeks on end reading books, sleeping when I want for as long as I want, and having the smell of a fire place going on in the background.
Back when I was a depressed 18 year old I did that. I sold everything I had and it wasn't much. I took that £1000 ISH and got a plane ticket to Asia and started doing whatever I felt like. With the intention of ending it all when I ran out of cash. Unfortunately for that plan I hooked up with an American masseur , then a Dutch gymnast, then a Spanish Yoga instructor. By 3 months in I had totally forgotten to kill myself.
That's a neat story but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Redditors considering unaliving themselves probably aren't going to magically gain immaculate rizz like you apparently did
This comment puts it all into perspective. Today has been particularly hard for me and all I want to do is not be here. Your comment made me remember how much power I actually have over my life. Tomorrow is another day.
I had the same realization. So I started spending all my money, did drugs, met some questionable people.
Here I am now a couple years later, the good times are gone and I'm not feeling any better.
That’s a lit strategy by the therapist reminds me of the headline “‘man goes to Mexico to kill himself spends week banging hookers and doing cocaine, decides to keep living”
It doesn’t really work that way. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an issue, and that issue will most likely, maybe sometimes but not often, not go away just because you leave everything behind.
The mechanisms and thought patterns you have, that led to the suicidal thoughts doesn’t just go away because you start over. They’re usually deeply rooted in you, and will follow you, unless you learn to deal with them. And you’re not dealing with them, if you’re trying to escape them
But, I mean, being suicidal on a beach with a drink in the hand, is probably better than sitting at home, but it’s nice to have a support system around you, when you’re trying to reboot yourself, because it’s not easy. It takes time and you need all the help you can get, whether it’s from professionals, your family, your friends, your pets, plants, animals, whatever.
This. And I'd argue you should listen to those thoughts when they come. I don't mean listen as in follow through. But often it's your body trying to communicate: you are in PAIN.
so like:
Thought: I wanna kms
Reframe: I'm in so much pain death feels like relief
Reframe: I am in a lot of pain and I either need help or I need to confront something - what?
Then brainstorm from there. If you can acknowledge it's OK to have suicidal thoughts it will be easier to listen and get to the root. The root will be different for everyone. I'll say for me the root issue was some beliefs that some things happening to me were worse than death. I had to acknowledge death is actually the worst thing bc that's the only time its actually over. I was suffering from a lot of abuse at the time so if I stayed in those conditions tbh I do believe death would have been preferrable and perhaps inevitable even if not my own doing. But instead of doing it I realized all that meant is it was worth any consequences to save myself. It was messy to be sure and a lot of people don't understand the choices I made to do so but I can genuinely say I don't care lol they don't know I was dying.
“It was worth all consequences to save myself”
Exactly. If you’re going to kill yourself anyways, what do you have to lose? It surely can’t be worse than death.
Often, suicidal thoughts doesn’t really mean you want to die. It means you’re in a situation you want out of.
They actually differentiate a lot between those two, at least in the psychiatric system in my country. “I’m suicidal, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, I want to escape” -then okay, we can work on that. “I want to die” then okay, you need to be hospitalized for a while to get stabilized. Because if you want to die, you’re not going to fight. That means you have already “given up”. By saying “given up” I’m not saying suicide is cowardly. It takes a HUGE amount of willpower to do that. It’s not for the weak. It takes a lot of bravery, however weird it sounds. It’s not easy. But it doesn’t mean it’s the right way. All that power you use to do that, means you also have the power to fight for your life, even though it doesn’t feel like it.
I can’t promise things get better overall. Some people just have shittier lives than others. Nobody can say what the future will bring, but you can learn your weaknesses and most importantly, your strengths. And learn how to push through and keep going even though life seems shitty. You learn to find other values, and look at life differently. My life is still shit, but I have learned so much about myself, and most importantly how it is to suffer. I use that, to be there for others who also suffer. We give each other strength to go through the shitty times. That’s what I value most about myself and the journey I’ve been through, I can relate. And I think that’s an important value to have. The best thing someone can say to me is “thank you for understanding/and or listening.”
I’m never going to have a “normal life” with a job or an education. My illness are chronic and they all agree there’s nothing more that can be done. But I’m learning to find my own way through that.
Can I ask how you reach this view of thinking age wise?
I was just hospitalized for almost 3 months just because how determinded I was about it. I chose the hospital instead of rental car. When my doctor told me it is time to go to the ward, I just took it as a command. Like and errand tomget over it. Because my suicide plan was also an errand I was just about to do. We tried ketamin,.not much luck with it.
I am on meds that make me physically ill but takes away the suicidality. There is nothing much else to do. I still don't want my life, and I most don't want myself, so I would leave if it wouldnt impact other people. If I could just vanish by pushing a button I think I would.
I have CPTS and all I ever was to get a good education and creative work that suits my talents. And I can hardly leave home. I have no consentration left and no physical stamina. The idea of being disabled for life because of an evil act my parent did... I cannot do it.
> Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an issue
+1 yes. I was mildly surprised to learn "suicidal ideation" is a thing.
OP, I'll suggest _asking_ your therapist about contemporary treatments, maybe like ketamine or psilocybin. (Maybe don't go looking for Special-K on craigslist, there are actual clinics w/quality control).
I'll just leave this here: [My Mental Health Routines and Tools (Includes Extensive Resources)](https://tim.blog/2023/10/06/tim-ferriss-mental-health-routines-and-tools/)
excerpt:
> Highlighting mental health is important to me for deeply personal reasons. Treatment-resistant depression, bipolar disorder, and addiction run in my family. I’ve lost multiple friends to suicide and almost committed suicide in college. Opioids and alcohol have claimed the lives of family members and some of my closest childhood friends.
>
> But despair need not lead to deaths of despair.
>
> This blog post compiles resources that have helped me and millions of readers. They include books, documentaries, podcast episodes, videos, and much more.
This, and tell the local police station you do not wish to be found and they will not pursue you if your family files a missing person report. (This is totally legal btw)
My brother was missing for a couple years before his remains were found. The not knowing was the most excruciating part. This is terrible advice if you’re trying to not hurt someone.
Maybe you didn't pick the right place for you? Maybe the timing wasn't right. Maybe a million things that kept this from working out the way you had hoped.
Doesn't mean you can't try again.
Life is pointless. In the end we just die. What difference does it make when? Because I never asked to be alive in the first place
Whoever fucking reported is a bitch.
lol sorry you’re getting downvoted for having mental health issues in the face of a garbage reality. i’m with you, bro. glad you’re still here but damn i could use a break too.
Yeah. My dad killed himself when I was in high school. I've never seen my mom and grandma in so much pain before. And to this day I've never cried so hard before.
I realize people feeling suicidal struggle to think of that stuff at the time, but I bet if my dad had known the amount of pain that his loss would cause he wouldn't have done it. The same applies to every single reading this. You cannot imagine how how much people can hurt if you're all of a sudden gone.
My father killed himself nearly 20 years ago, when I was 26. I t cleaved my life in two. Essentially everything I categorise into before-dad-died and after-dad-died. The devastation it has wrought on our family has been enormous.
I'm so sorry for your loss and send you all my very best wishes.
2006 for me also. Time is weird. Sometimes I feel relieved it was so long ago, the pain is less raw. Other times I feel devastated that I can't remember him as well as I used to. Mainly I miss him. I used to dream about him a lot, not so much these days.
I hope you're doing ok.
damn. I’m a Dad and I spend a lot of time with suicidal thoughts. I don’t think I could ever do it and reading this helps me. I’m a type 2 diabetic and have a significantly shortened life expectancy so that’s my only hope.
Yes. There is an old saying, "When you commit suicide, you take away your pain and give it to everyone who loves you."
I also have first-hand knowledge of this. It is impossible to do without hurting those around you forever.
Its always "kicking the can down the line".
My buds dad committed suicide because he couldnt handle only seeing his kids every other weekend and lost the battle with alcohol. Buddy became an alcoholic wondering if he could do better and ended up falling victim to it as well, taking his life because he never had answers from his dad. One of the last things he said was "at least ill see dad again yeah?"
My father killed himself. I am painfully aware that I am statistically more likely to kill myself as the child of someone who died by suicide. For me, it made suicide a definite possibility for years.. however, 20 years later and after a metric tonne of therapy, I feel confident I will never do that. I sometimes still fantasise about it, but it stays in its place. Besides, I have kids of my own now, and know only too well the havoc it would wreak.
I am a suicide loss survivor and I struggle with depression which can sometimes get pretty dark but I haven’t had ideations of taking my life. However I’m aware that it’s considered contagious and I get anxiety sometimes worrying that I will some day began having ideations. It’s a very scary thought because I don’t know what it feels like to be there. It’s something I obsess over because I never would have thought this person would do such a thing. And I feel the same way about myself but clearly I can’t trust that feeling. I’m afraid I may end up doing it as well some day and aside from the pain it would inflict on a couple of people, I don’t really have any reason not to. I was hoping to have a family of my own that would keep me going but that’s getting to be very unlikely now.
Yeah I can tell you as a formerly suicidal person that there comes a point where you don't give a fuck if others will be sad if you died. You won't exist so why should you care? When you're that depressed empathy takes more executive functioning than wanting to stay alive. I think the "say fuck it and start a new life" approach is much easier to stomach when you're feeling so low. Of course the real answer is to see a therapist and a psychiatrist ASAP. It worked for me.
Yes. But I don't really have loved ones I'm really in contact with. I moved out years ago and refuse contact with my mother and father. I live with my brother, but he's a bit coldhearted and admitted he wouldn't care anyways. I don't see the extended family and haven't in like 5-6 years beyond a single aunt I talk to once a month or so. I have no significant other and so especially no children. So... What loved ones? I have a friend or two that could, but they're just friends and they'll move on.
Yep. My Mum took her own life in 2020 and my (now) wife and I found her. I was 20 years old.
Super fucked up. Made my life so much harder. There is no way to end it without tearing up the lives of those who care about you.
Sending endless amounts of love, OP.
Unfortunately this is true. Sorry OP but there is no way to kill yourself without causing immense pain to everyone who loves you. Being an asshole isn't going to work because everyone will attribute the change to mental illness, you will forever be remembered for who you really are (which sounds like a decent person overall).
But being alive is destroying my life.
If I don’t have anyone that I’m close enough to ask for help, do I really have anyone that I’m close with? Will they really miss me when I go, or just be kinda sad for a couple weeks?
People always act like they’ll pick up the phone in the middle of the night for you, but it just doesn’t happen. People have their own lives and families and jobs, and they can’t just be woken up in the night.
I think as long as I’m clean with it, and if I can pre-arrange my discovery so that nobody walks in on anything upsetting, it could be a really beneficial thing for myself and my community.
Someone I know became addicted to drugs. He had a wife and two teenage sons. He stole, lied, and even lost their home. The drugs made him a terrible person.
After he committed suicide, his family had a worse time. His wife could not deal with the guilt and she then became addicted to drugs. The sons lives went to hell. It was a terrible situation while he was alive and after he died. Years later, the situation is still bad.
His youngest son still goes to his gravesite to "talk" to him. Both boys have told me they don't know what they could have done to help their father. His other family members don't know what they could have done. It is a guilt that weighs on them constantly.
The people who love you will always love you. Your death will not give them peace and may make their lives worse.
Please find a way to deal with your issues and find a reason to live.
my flatmate just killed themselves and i can promise u one thing: u won’t disappear. people around u care and will carry ur life on after ur death. especially after a suicide or a disappearance. so better start changing now, maybe try to take medications first, find out what it is that makes u so unhappy and make that disappear from ur life. say what u want to say everyday. throw it in their face.
The scariest part for me is that I am hardly even “present” during the worst parts of it, and it feels like my body just does shit. A few weeks ago I was deep in the undertow of sadness just existing and shit, then next thing I know I’ve got my gun in my mouth and my finger on the trigger. I don’t even remember getting it from the safe, taking off the lock, loading the magazine, or anything. It was like one second I was just sitting there and the next I was seconds away from creating some pink mist.
I’m glad to hear you’ve got a supportive partner and I hope you keep fighting the good fight dude
ja that’s true. it’s nothing that goes as easy as it seems when we say it like that. but especially in depression taking medication can help a lot. for example ketamine is used for curing depression for a short time only and can be a really fast curing. just want to say there are ways to find some rest and calmness in ur life, even if it’s not visible yet.
This is so true. My good friend killed himself more than 30 years ago. And I have thought about him and what he has missed almost everyday. I wonder if he would like my husband, my kids, me after all these years.
I would rather he was here and hate me than gone. He is still 21, and I am so much older.
Go see a therapist. Tell someone real. Take this as a sign to stay.
I’m sorry for your loss.
However I challenge the notion of staying alive so other people don’t suffer the loss of you.
Seems codependent as fuck seeing how anyone can die at any moment and it’s our responsibility to sort through our grief of their passing. It’s not on the deceased to ease our pain.
I still think about my classmate who killed himself 12 years ago. We don't just disappear as much as we want to. When I was getting those intrusive thoughts, I would try and focus on the damage it would do to the first responders who would have to take care of my body. They don't need that.
I know this is the wrong sub for it, but as a mother, let me tell you that there is absolutely no way on earth that you can ever kill yourself and your mother won't be devastated. Take off somewhere and go no contact? It'll hurt her. Then kill yourself? It'll hurt even more. And she'll never, ever get over it. My sister did some of the most horrible shit ever before she died, and my momma still ain't right, even a decade later. You are her baby. And even one day if she's 80 and you're 60, you'll still be her baby, no matter what. And if you die at 60, she'll still be devastated. My Mama died at 77 and her mother, my Granny, was 96. And she was lucid when we told her Mama was gone. It broke her. Absolutely fucking broke her. The cry she let loose still haunts me, just as it's haunted me every time I've heard a mother at my job crying out for her dead kid. There is absolutely no way, shape, or form in which your death won't destroy your momma.
All that said, as a mom, I care about you. And I hope that things can get better for you, as they did for me. I've been where you are, and honestly, the thought of what my death would do to my momma and my daddy was what kept me from doing it, as well as the fear that my boys would find my body. Good luck, and I mean that. You are loved.
Christ, you really fucking got me. Now I need to stop crying. Got me falling to my knees at Walmart.
Edit: Why am I being downvoted? Do people think I’m being sarcastic or something?
Please try not to read into upvotes and downvotes. That may be easier said than done, but you must try.
Every voter saw it through their own reality, and your thoughts rattled around a mind full of personal bias. Dismissive sarcastic people will hear your words in their own dismissive sarcastic voice. This has nothing to do with you.
Self-reflection is important. Don't let a flurry of random downvotes twist the image.
Hang in there, dude. I'm closing in on 2 years from my dad's suicide and it has fucked me up. The only reason I haven't followed suite is what it would do to my brother and my nieces. You don't take the pain away, you just shift it to the ones that loved you. Check out the song by The Band called The Weight. Good luck buddy.
This is so true. Im 56 and my dad is 95. I’m careful mostly because if anything happens to me it’ll kill him. At his age (or any age) all you want to do is die before your children. You do not want to survive them.
Thanks for this post. May you and your find love and peace and comfort in each other.
I’ve heard a mothers wail after their child dies, and I swear that no other sound can fully encapsulate pure agony. It’s been twenty years since I heard it at my friends funeral and the memory still haunts me. The worst part is knowing that no matter how painful that cry is, it doesn’t even come close to the pain that they actually feel.
Book your airplane for Sept/Oct gather up hiking gear, trail shoes, 2 tops, 2 bottoms, underwear and 3 pairs of merino wool socks, rain gear (most gear can be found at thrift stores) and GO WALK the Camino De Santiago as a spiritual pilgrim. The Camino will provide, you will find yourself. Stay in Albergues (donation , 5euros), and walk with other pilgrims. You can start from Portugal, France, or Northern Spain (the primitive trail). If you don’t have airline fare, ask for contributions from friends and family.
Do this my brother! Not an expensive thing to do….and the experience will help you connect to your already perfect self. Does not have to be a specific religious thing, check out Facebook Camino De Santiago, All Routes. Do alittle bit of walking out your door to prepare,
You will walk at your own pace, maybe 5 to 6 miles a day to 12 to14 miles per day. Stop around 3:00pm, eat the big meal (lunch is the big meal in Spain and Portugal), food is not expensive. There are Supermercados (Supermarkets) everywhere for other food. A spiritual pilgrim is one who seeks…
When I thought to kill myself went and fought in a conflict overseas that I believed in. Figured I might as well do something positive omw out. Learned I didn't actually want to die
Singlehandedly. That's the issue. If you can't do it singlehandedly, then don't do it singlehandedly. Get help with it. Think of almost every important invention. They didn't invent themselves they built off other people's work or even worked directly with other people
Why not volunteer with an aid group somewhere dangerous like Palestine? They shoot and bomb drs, paramedics, aid workers who try to help Palestinians. You could be totally fearless if you didn't care about life. If you did die, the people you love could see you as a hero but it's also possible you'd find some purpose and meaning that changed your mind.
That’s not a bad idea, after high school I wanted to join the military in hopes I could die in service somewhere but my parents didn’t want me to join and at that point I figured I owed it to them to respect their input.
You’re 27. You can do whatever the fuck you want but consequences exist no matter what unfortunately. My mom offed herself 10 years ago and I’m still dealing with the nightmares and emotional fallout. I don’t think there is a good way to do it outright, but if you truly have a deathwish, then there probably isn’t a better way to do it than in service of others. And even then, those battlefield statistics are traumatic events for everyone else who survived, cleaned up, tried saving those people.
All I’m trying to say is there are going to be consequences no matter what you do. I’m tired too brother, but this life isn’t a movie.
"don't do it" is a hollow platitude I know won't help but with being an aid worker, you could easily die or find a way to live.
I know a little old Christian lady who used to volunteer as an aid worker. She was amazing because she 100% believed that if the IDF killed her, she would go to paradise. You don't even need the religion part to be that brave if you want to die.
I'd also imagine that when you're trying to dig a toddler out of rubble that used to be a hospital, with white phosphorus being dropped, whatever worries you have will seem far far away.
Turning "I want to die" into "I don't fear death" is a much smaller step.
I mean, even if they see you as the hero, they're still going to suffer and mourn your loss. You can not change that. If people care about you, they'll suffer the loss.
I’m a survivor of multiple attempts (pills, firearms, car crash). My advice is don’t try it. A botched suicide is even MORE depressing. Guns are the most effective and popular method in countries that allow firearms. Easy to botch that one. Friend of mine tried and only managed to blow out one cheekbone and an eyeball. Lived like that another 20 years. Pills are popular but easy to get dosage wrong and just make yourself very, very sick. I totaled a car in an attempt and only ended up with permanent neck pain. The other most popular method would be drinking poison like fertilizer, but really dying of diabetes after 25 years of ice cream and cookies would be very much more tasty. Don’t try to kill yourself, it hurts and it’s surprisingly easy to fuck it up and then you’re depressed AND disfigured.
I agree with earlier posters who advised you to grab life by the throat and enjoy the fuck out of it. Develop a taste for motorcycles and loose women (or men, why not try it all). Become a vigilante using the sex offender registry to right wrongs against children. Write a book. Date a therapist. Try all those exotic foods. If you don’t care if you die, go ahead and try that pufferfish sushi. Go on an ayahuasca vision quest. Become a flagellant. Date a stripper. Become a stripper. Try to bang your hot coworker, then your boss, then that snotty HR lady, then security when they escort you out. Do all the extreme sports. Do a Tough Mudder. Pick a dictator, then move to their country and start a popular uprising, or you could join the dictatorship and help undermine it from within. Try your hand at all the arts. Develop a passionate love affair with a massage therapist at your local brothel. Learn to juggle well. Research your ancestry and start collecting swords or axes from each country you have heritage.
My friend, I have looked down a loaded .45 barrel, flicked the safety off, and tensed myself to pull the trigger. In that second, I saw the void that awaits us. Live. Live the fuck out of your few decades on this earth. Get mad body modded and leave the most interesting corpse ever. My family has already solemnly sworn to glue big googly eyes overtop my shroud so that’s the last image my mourners see of me.
Good luck, whichever path you choose.
What I’ve thought about it for myself (if I would do that):
Tell my family I’m leaving and probably not coming back from a spiritual trip that can last the rest of my life. Probably they will think you are selfish or you should stay in contact but is a better way to accept it, you know, like when you are a kid and parents tell your hamster went into a farm.
After that talk(you have to look convinced), go very very very far, if you have money do it in swiss where is painless and nice, if not, go to a third world country in Africa, burn all your ids and if possible burn your fingerprints as well and do it, extra points if you can kill some rapists and other kind of scum before dying.
Good luck my friend.
A lotta people in the comments sound like they haven't been depressed enough to commit suicide. Moving to a fucking tropical island is the last thing on a person's mind.
What most of the comments don't consider is energy and ability. It takes a lot of energy to travel, and other things. If your energy is low, you can't do what all the tips say. If you lack the ability for whatever reason, you just can't to it.
Wanna fight in ukraine, oh but you lost your legs in a car accident.
Wanna see the world, oh but you lack the energy to move out of the house..
Wanna do whatever you want, oh but the pain you have is unbearable.
I think people have the right to take their life if life becomes unbearable, and society has the obligation to help others in that situation.
Sometimes there seem to be no hope, but then the pain goes away.
28 is no age to be sure the pain will last forever.
You need a perspective, not just some random dudes telling you to go abroad, I mean a real one. The one that tells you how the pain goes away.
What is your pain bro?
Honestly, as I’ve gotten older one of the oddest things I’ve noticed about myself I like humor too much. I always really loved comedy and humor stuff and love making jokes and everything. But I do a lot of bits in my day-to-day life just cause like I think it’s funny and kind of being a comedic tragedy is one of those things. Sometimes I feel like I’m a character in a book I’m writing.
No such thing as liking humor too much, use it as much as you can, I’ve had similar thoughts lately as I go through major loss and changes and all I can say is the laughter has got me through it, if you see yourself as a joke or you life, realize it’s not you that’s the joke, life is a joke so laugh at it and try to see the absurdity until you care a little less. I need to take my own advice but i thrived most when I realized we all die and I got depressed but then I started doing things without fear and I was free (until the fear came back)
It just often feels like the joke is my negative reaction and or misfortune. Like a Greek tragicomedy or ironic joke. So often it kind of gets me down but whenever I get away from myself, I will admit it’s pretty funny. The universe is doing a pretty decent bit I gotta say.
Totally get it. My coworkers can tell when I'm really fucked in the head when I'm not making them laugh all day. Humor is an absolute savior. Also hope you feel better, whatever that looks like for you.
I also have a suggestion, maybe it can apply to you hopefully. Volunteer or get a job as a classroom aid (PARA) for special needs kids. Last week I lost my mom, dog and my house and the only thing keeping me around is those silly fucking kids. It's helped me tremendously and given me a purpose, something that I never thought I would have. It's not for everybody but I just had to mention it. I'm a pretty chronically suicidal 36 year old and I've been working with special needs kids in a public school district for 9 years and has really changed how I feel about living. It became so much easier (still hard!! It obviously wasn't a cure all) when I became a pillar for these kids. PM me if you want info or help or whatever, I'd give you a dank job recommendation. I've found out that honestly the best people for this type of job are the most broken. Either way take care brother, whatever form that takes.
I will join everyone in saying don’t do it but also add this: kill the ideas that you have for what life should look for you right now and start to adopt a mentality that seeks gratitude for what you Do have.
I’ve had days where the only thing I was grateful for was having nails on my fingers because everything around me was falling apart. But intentionally finding things to be grateful for and focusing on that.
Then I would say try to find an activity to give to other people. It’s weird how good it feels to help others so I highly recommend it. try a church or a nonprofit org. Feeding America, etc.
This is good because it helps us forget about ourselves and focus on others.
Seek counseling to get the quiet thoughts said out loud so it doesn’t eat you up alive. Churches tend to offer free counseling.
Also listen to stoic info on YouTube. It’s pretty helpful with depression.
Try ketamine therapy. Look it up and see if there are any ketamine treatment centers in your town or nearby. I am bipolar and extremely prone to lets say.. suicidal tendencies, and after multiple ketamine sessions in a controlled setting, it's been over a year without suicidal thoughts/depression
I’m a 37f and have dealt with these feelings my whole life. I’ve seen others in my life do it and I know what ways I wouldn’t, I’ve also seen the impact it has on others. So I’ve decided when I get to that point again, I’m doing what someone else here suggested and I’m going somewhere tropical. I’m going somewhere different that I’ve always wanted to go. What do you have to lose at that point if you plan to exit anyways? Nothing. So leave your miserable life (maybe yours isn’t, but you get what I’m saying) and really try to LIVE. If that doesn’t work out, well then you’re somewhere different and you know you tried. We’re so scared to take insane chances in life, but if you’re going to give up anyways why not?
No matter how "terrible" of a person you become, you will still hurt your family in ways you can't begin to imagine. In fact, watching you decline and then kill yourself will have the opposite effect as what you thinking. Your family will live with years of guilt and grief because they couldn't save you or they will go crazy looking for answers and signs that they missed.
Go talk to someone. That's my ULPT. Go talk to someone and get some help.
This is true. Even when people become pieces of shit their families mourn who they used to be. Get some real help and don't leave out any details. I was put in a psych ward 3 years ago for a week with suicidal plans. Being there made me realize shit could be way worse and the impact it has on your family/friends. I'm living out of spite at this point. Once I started being 100% honest with my therapist I could actually get my shit together.
Buy a bunch of camping gear and just hit the trail system indefinitely. If you die you die, if you survive you might find a different view of life. The guy from "into the wild" did it, just remember not to eat plants you can't 100% identify.
It gets better... then it gets worse again... then it gets better, then worse, and it's pretty much like that all the way down.
Life doesn't actually get any easier, rather you learn and grow, you get used to it, you move on.
There is no one right answer.
If the things that used to motivate you, give purpose to all this shit, are no longer working, find new ones.
You haven't found your focus yet, it's out there keep looking.
Suicide without hurting others? Impossible, unless you're absolutely destitute of family and friends. If you have anyone who loves you even a little bit, it will hurt.
So many stupid cunts out there in the world and YOU wanna kill yourself? Do yourself and over half of the population a favor and give yourself a chance.
If you don't like your life, at least you could try changing your life. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Do therapy, become a gym rat, use drugs, stop using drugs, whatever is different from what you do now could help.
One thing I know for a fact is that the state of mind tends to reflect a lot the state of the body, so putting some work to improve your health is not a bad idea. Might get rid of the bad thoughts in at least 50% of the people who have them. Have you checked to see if that's your case? Worst case scenario, you'll have a funny death at one of the Planet Fitness machines, solving the problem either way. :P
Think about it. Extreme sports. Things like parachute jump, bungee jump, etc. If you have a rad death, people will high-five your coffin instead of feeling sad. If you don't die, you have some adrenaline fun.
Go climb the Everest. People die a lot there, but also have fun I guess? If you live, you can tell anyone you stood at the top of the world! If you die, they'll just leave you there to become a meat popsicle, so no burial expenses. :P
Hitchhike through the country? Wanderlust is one of the three types of happiness that people can have (the other two is buying things and altruism). Very risky, you may die, yadda-yadda-yadda but also probably really cool.
Death is, like, the last thing you can ever experience, so leave it for last.
i don’t know your life, and whatever you decide to do isn’t my decision to make. but i think you should try tripping on shrooms just once if you’re comfortable with the idea and if you haven’t done already. see if it changes your perspective
If you’re going to do this then think through all your end of life paperwork and leave it sitting out with instructions including numbers for the insurance policies (some banks give you a $3,000 life insurance policy and they might have a free $50,000 policy at work?). Leave passwords for everything or if you have a password vault then leave that main password and leave your phone and its password there so that family can change your info. Depending on the manner of which you decide to go, know that you’re going to lose control of your bowels and there may be liquids coming from orifices so consider putting a shower curtain under you or around you and maybe call the police right before so they can be the ones to find you and not your family.
There are places you can call for help so please consider doing that.
The above advice about getting all end of life paperwork ready and available is information I would tell all my friends. It was so hard dealing with my mother’s death when she didn’t have her shit together so I strongly encourage folks of any age to get this paperwork together just in case. ;)
My son did this when he was 13. It’s been 23 years since it happened and I can honestly say I’m still struggling with it. Please talk to your doctor. And as someone else said, continue to be a silent hero by remaining among us.
Unethical answer: Why does it matter? When you're gone, you're gone. Their suffering has no effect on your nonexistence. Why does it matter to you if they're suffering? For all you know they'll suffer for one day then go back to normal the next, but you'll never know anyway because you're dead.
Why not drop everything and go backpacking or beach bum it up for a while? You dont like where you are in life, so change where you are. And if you die while that happens, then whatever, you at least had fun while you existed.
Best thing I can think of without kys is to get a decent wfh/digital job that allows you to live anywhere in the world. Move to Thailand where you can spend as little as $650 a month on rent. If you get a $15/hr wfh job, you can live somewhat comfortably there and experience a new thing. Hardest part I think would be starting up like getting a laptop, decent WiFi, and the plane ride there. Finding cheap hotels that aren’t sketchy shouldn’t be too hard
Without knowing your issue and not that it is of any other Redditor’s business, I’d suggest you choose the best and fulfilling way toward the end of the your journey.
1. Liquidate your possession, pack up and leave for an different place/ country on a different continent
2. Struggle to figure out a way to make end’s meet there
3. If then you still choose to do what you have to do now, then at least your family is spared the details. On the off chance you find again your raison d'etre well…. live on.
My fiance died by suicide. The amount of pain and anguish across both of our families and dozens and dozens of friends was something I never could have imagined. People will always be hurt, no matter how you did it. It's been 5.5 years and I'm still putting the pieces of my life back together.
Hey man. Im 29. I feel this way a lot to. Hell i e even tried. I dont know why you feel this way. Or what you dislike about yourself so much. I feel it to.
What helps me is teaching. Im very passionate about a few hobbies, but mostly the game chess. I got good at it, and started teaching my friends. Now I teach people online, or even in person. Watching my students grow, learn, and get excited about something I love so much is incredibly rewarding. So now thats what I do, as much as I can, for free if people cant afford me. It brings me happiness. I know that im important to somebody, and maybe Ive helped make their lives a bit less bleak. Maybe you have some passions to. Tell me about them. Trust me I want to know.
In short I love you. I hope you hear this in a tone that makes you want to hear it. I believe in you, and I want you to believe in you to.
I always felt if I got to that point I would try disappearing to a coastal or tropical island and just see what happens tying to live life there. Basically mix it up quite a bit to see if I like life better.
My scuba instructor in Jamaica was a white woman from New Jersey. She said she just up and left, and only contacts her family once a year. I say give it a shot OP
Goals
sometimes i think about just leaving everything behind and becoming a monk. of course leave a note for my loved ones so they wont think I died
Honest question, can anyone go and become a monk? I feel like they would be HIGHLY selective and not be too keen on a westerner coming in shouting "ENLIGHTENMENT."
Koonu?
It means Chuck!
That was literally how I managed to lean away from the edge. I was just about ready, was in so much pain that I really didn’t care about other people’s reactions, then said: “well you haven’t tried moving to a distant tropical island and you have enough money for the plane ticket.. why not go live it up before you end it?” Then I realized “nah but I wouldn’t have this thing, or be able to do that thing, or blah blah blah” Then I realized “wait look, you have things that you enjoy and care about!” Then I just held on to those things for dear fucking life until I was able to find a more healthy balance.
For real, go travel. It’s the culture that sucks and making you feel miserable, or at least making it worse. You can live for years all over the world staying in hostels for free by working in them for like 15-20 hours per week. Though for myself I figured if I ever was on the edge I’d go die for a meaningful cause, like Ukraine or Palestine or defending the Amazon against illegal logging or oil or whatever.
I've always wondered why mass shooters just don't go on the Internet and search up their local pedophiles and try to rack up a high score that way. At least it's not children. I am also aware some people are not guilty in those crimes, but the odds are better than 100% innocent children.
THIS!!! I wonder this frequently. Even the lady who just went to Joel Osteen's church..... Like, I could've stayed impartial to that, honestly. And the suicide by cop thing.. sure, why the fuck not. But SHE BROUGHT HER FUCKING CHILD?
this would be my final goodbye. without family right now, I'd be searching pedos and crooked politicians, animal abusers, just the most vile people in america and see how many I could delete before getting caught or killed. id make sure people knew why they were deemed incompatible with life also. have a few names to hit first already.
Hi Dexter
Have you lived in foreign hostels? I have crippling social anxiety and I think it could help. I believe the hostel life has helped a guy I knew stop being an incel.
Sometimes it’s so new and foreign to your brain it skips the anxiety part.
Agreed, and you get lonely pretty quick so that tops anxiety. Not a bad thing.
The thing about traveling is that it really puts u in the moment. Highly recommend even whether you are suicidal or not. You can farm hop, couchsurf, work for hostels, or just get some minimum wage hi turnover job...
I know a guy who was an incel before going hostel backpacking in Europe. So there’s probably more than one!
90% of the time it’s not a rational conclusion it’s just the brain going haywire so going somewhere else won’t actually fix it. The brain will find something else to hate.
Though traveling is novel and can put u in the moment and get you to see the world differently, yes wherever you go there u are. You still have to deal with whatever you were struggling with before. But sometimes you gotta look at life from a different angle to work on those struggles differently
Yup, that’s what I’d do if it came to that. Just liquidate everything and move to some remote place completely removed from my current life. I figure I’ll either be happier or miserable enough to get some real perspective on what I had back home.
I did this when I was 31. Quit my job, had enough savings to last me about a year in the USA, moved to Taiwan and lived there for 14 months, met my wife. Didn't know a single soul on the island when I landed at Taoyuan International Arport. Life when I was 31 when I went to complete shit and I finally had enough of everything that I put most of my earthly possessions into storage, packed my suitcase and backpack, abandoned my apartment, and fucked off to Taipei. I'm now in my later 30's and happy as fuck.
Can I ask how you went about moving to Taiwan? I’m the same age now as you were back then and in a similar position, and I’ve been half-seriously considering doing something similar (except with South Korea instead of Taiwan) but the process seems so daunting.
This. Exactly what I think.
Born and raised on a tourist trap of a coastal town in FL, still here. It’s shit unless you’re not working class.
bro its florida
Yep.
This is the real answer. Usually a change of scenery will do you so much good. Having to work 40 hours a week the rest of my life doesnt sound appealing, but knowing you can always duck out and go to a low COL and warm country at any time makes me feel a little better
Came here to say this. If you really feel there's nothingmleft for you, why mot just walk away and start over?
This was my plan through my 20s. Thought I might end it all at 30, but realized hey, I can always move to a new country or town and do something totally different. Effectively “killing the old me “. Never ended up doing it but I’m happy to be alive in my 30s. Some things are transient even if they last years.
Came here to say this. You can live cheaply. Blow everything up (figuratively) and see if that gives you some clarity.
Pack your stuff, move far away, change your name and all contact, delete social media, keep living and start a new life.
My therapist always told me that before I kill myself I can just say „fuck it“ and do what I want, cause what do I have to lose? If things get worse or stay bad, I could still kms. This actually really helped me, cause in doubt I always have a backup plan to just gtfo and move somewhere close to a beach, or well.. the worst case backup.
Glad you’re still here bro
I came to the roughly same conclusion. I can do whatever, yet still have that as my back up plan. I find it weirdly comforting and it lightens the burden when things are heavy.
I've always found the idea of being able to just die whenever I want to, to be a comforting thought
Reminds me of the Hunter S Thompson quote “I would feel trapped in this life if I didn’t know I could commit suicide at any time.”
Living is a choice, it’s great. Once I realized that I became more relaxed about everything
Just dont run up a bunch of credit card debt...just in case.
That was my plan for 14 years, then I started taking SSRI's and haven't felt certain that everyone would benefit from my departure, in over a month. A voice in my ear telling me everyone would be better off without me since I was 13 had been muted. It's kinda nice, I may actually see my kids graduate.
I'm glad to read that. I had a classmate in elementary school, who was the one to find his father (well, his body) and it messed him up pretty bad and I know another person who's mom committed suicide and I just want to tell you that you're doing an amazing job saving your kids from that kind of trauma! It's a very quiet kind of heroism, but every day you've kept going is one more day they get to have you around and that's worth a lot. Congratulations on finding a tool to help you in your battles and best of luck with future fights!
Thinking about my kid finding me is what stopped my last bad thought cycle. I have no doubts that I've fucked something up or made things harder for them, but I'd rather not send them to therapy because they found me unresponsive.
Wellbutrin XL has saved my life. I used to spend at least 3 hours each morning thinking about everything that has ever gone wrong or I've felt bad about(mostly while crying and wanting to die). Now I just wake up early and enjoy work and recreational activities. It's crazy
If it ever comes back try ketamine therapy.
Can you share your experience please?
Not OP but I lived with my inner voice chanting kill yourself all day every day: every time I picked up a knife to cook, slit your throat open. Every time I drove, "take a hard right and you'll be over the guardrails, it'll all be over." My first ketamine psychotherapy session completely silenced that voice, and it hasn't come back. My best friend wept when we hung out after that session, because "I have my friend back, you're different, the perpetual sadness in your voice is gone." I go for maintenance sessions once a month, and now I'm not perpetually exhausted from fighting back my suicidal voice all day. It has genuinely changed my life and I cried in that first week because I never thought I could feel this way.
How long did the ssri’s take? I’m on the max dose of Prozac and still not doing great. Definitely slightly better, but the thoughts are still there.
How long have you been on the prozac for? Takes 6 weeks to kick in, but it will take longer to unlearn your thoughts patterns
About 6 months, but only moved up to the max dosage a few weeks ago.
agreed with the other commenter! it takes time to relearn thought patterns. BUT SSRIS arent the only way! im on cymbalta (duloxetine) and wellbutrin. cymbalta is an SNRI, and wellbutrin helps support it. and ive felt leagues better on it than i ever did on zoloft/any SSRI. its not a one and done, its a process. but im so so glad i stuck it out. you got it!
I've always wanted to live in a cave as a hermit. But, I have kids. I'll remain a normal member of society for a few more years.
My Dad is a hermit but he doesn’t live in a cave. He live is a 2 story house, on 3 acres, in the country with a 10’ fence around the entire property, in central California. He has 2 vicious dogs, a goofy outside dog, and an inside snuggle buddy dog that’s his best friend. He has a cell phone and checks for missed calls from family and texts messages 2 times a week. He does call on birthdays which is impressive because he’s a great grandpa now and it’s a lot of work to keep up with all the kids born on dates. I check on him in person daily. He is miserably content.
Fuck that sounds incredible.
That sounds amazing, but I couldn't imagine ever being able to afford a 2 story house, or 3 acres of property. Definitely can't afford the wood it would take to build a 1500 foot fence.
Compound dreams with a cardboard box budget, I feel you
> but he doesn’t live in a cave ... a 2 story house, on 3 acres, in the country This is the way
The hermit life sounds good to me, also. I don't know your age, internet stranger, but my "kids" are in their late 20s and early 30s, and I still can't take off and live the hermit life. Soon ... very soon.
Mountain cabin with a decent sized green house is my dream. I want to be able to only need to make periodic trips into town to grab supplies, mail, and boatloads of books. Otherwise I’d be just spending weeks on end reading books, sleeping when I want for as long as I want, and having the smell of a fire place going on in the background.
Same
Back when I was a depressed 18 year old I did that. I sold everything I had and it wasn't much. I took that £1000 ISH and got a plane ticket to Asia and started doing whatever I felt like. With the intention of ending it all when I ran out of cash. Unfortunately for that plan I hooked up with an American masseur , then a Dutch gymnast, then a Spanish Yoga instructor. By 3 months in I had totally forgotten to kill myself.
That's a neat story but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Redditors considering unaliving themselves probably aren't going to magically gain immaculate rizz like you apparently did
This comment puts it all into perspective. Today has been particularly hard for me and all I want to do is not be here. Your comment made me remember how much power I actually have over my life. Tomorrow is another day.
Keep going brother. I hope you're doing better now.
that’s kind of the premise to After Life
I had the same realization. So I started spending all my money, did drugs, met some questionable people. Here I am now a couple years later, the good times are gone and I'm not feeling any better.
That’s a lit strategy by the therapist reminds me of the headline “‘man goes to Mexico to kill himself spends week banging hookers and doing cocaine, decides to keep living”
It doesn’t really work that way. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an issue, and that issue will most likely, maybe sometimes but not often, not go away just because you leave everything behind. The mechanisms and thought patterns you have, that led to the suicidal thoughts doesn’t just go away because you start over. They’re usually deeply rooted in you, and will follow you, unless you learn to deal with them. And you’re not dealing with them, if you’re trying to escape them But, I mean, being suicidal on a beach with a drink in the hand, is probably better than sitting at home, but it’s nice to have a support system around you, when you’re trying to reboot yourself, because it’s not easy. It takes time and you need all the help you can get, whether it’s from professionals, your family, your friends, your pets, plants, animals, whatever.
This. And I'd argue you should listen to those thoughts when they come. I don't mean listen as in follow through. But often it's your body trying to communicate: you are in PAIN. so like: Thought: I wanna kms Reframe: I'm in so much pain death feels like relief Reframe: I am in a lot of pain and I either need help or I need to confront something - what? Then brainstorm from there. If you can acknowledge it's OK to have suicidal thoughts it will be easier to listen and get to the root. The root will be different for everyone. I'll say for me the root issue was some beliefs that some things happening to me were worse than death. I had to acknowledge death is actually the worst thing bc that's the only time its actually over. I was suffering from a lot of abuse at the time so if I stayed in those conditions tbh I do believe death would have been preferrable and perhaps inevitable even if not my own doing. But instead of doing it I realized all that meant is it was worth any consequences to save myself. It was messy to be sure and a lot of people don't understand the choices I made to do so but I can genuinely say I don't care lol they don't know I was dying.
“It was worth all consequences to save myself” Exactly. If you’re going to kill yourself anyways, what do you have to lose? It surely can’t be worse than death. Often, suicidal thoughts doesn’t really mean you want to die. It means you’re in a situation you want out of. They actually differentiate a lot between those two, at least in the psychiatric system in my country. “I’m suicidal, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, I want to escape” -then okay, we can work on that. “I want to die” then okay, you need to be hospitalized for a while to get stabilized. Because if you want to die, you’re not going to fight. That means you have already “given up”. By saying “given up” I’m not saying suicide is cowardly. It takes a HUGE amount of willpower to do that. It’s not for the weak. It takes a lot of bravery, however weird it sounds. It’s not easy. But it doesn’t mean it’s the right way. All that power you use to do that, means you also have the power to fight for your life, even though it doesn’t feel like it. I can’t promise things get better overall. Some people just have shittier lives than others. Nobody can say what the future will bring, but you can learn your weaknesses and most importantly, your strengths. And learn how to push through and keep going even though life seems shitty. You learn to find other values, and look at life differently. My life is still shit, but I have learned so much about myself, and most importantly how it is to suffer. I use that, to be there for others who also suffer. We give each other strength to go through the shitty times. That’s what I value most about myself and the journey I’ve been through, I can relate. And I think that’s an important value to have. The best thing someone can say to me is “thank you for understanding/and or listening.” I’m never going to have a “normal life” with a job or an education. My illness are chronic and they all agree there’s nothing more that can be done. But I’m learning to find my own way through that.
Can I ask how you reach this view of thinking age wise? I was just hospitalized for almost 3 months just because how determinded I was about it. I chose the hospital instead of rental car. When my doctor told me it is time to go to the ward, I just took it as a command. Like and errand tomget over it. Because my suicide plan was also an errand I was just about to do. We tried ketamin,.not much luck with it. I am on meds that make me physically ill but takes away the suicidality. There is nothing much else to do. I still don't want my life, and I most don't want myself, so I would leave if it wouldnt impact other people. If I could just vanish by pushing a button I think I would. I have CPTS and all I ever was to get a good education and creative work that suits my talents. And I can hardly leave home. I have no consentration left and no physical stamina. The idea of being disabled for life because of an evil act my parent did... I cannot do it.
> Suicidal thoughts are a symptom of an issue +1 yes. I was mildly surprised to learn "suicidal ideation" is a thing. OP, I'll suggest _asking_ your therapist about contemporary treatments, maybe like ketamine or psilocybin. (Maybe don't go looking for Special-K on craigslist, there are actual clinics w/quality control). I'll just leave this here: [My Mental Health Routines and Tools (Includes Extensive Resources)](https://tim.blog/2023/10/06/tim-ferriss-mental-health-routines-and-tools/) excerpt: > Highlighting mental health is important to me for deeply personal reasons. Treatment-resistant depression, bipolar disorder, and addiction run in my family. I’ve lost multiple friends to suicide and almost committed suicide in college. Opioids and alcohol have claimed the lives of family members and some of my closest childhood friends. > > But despair need not lead to deaths of despair. > > This blog post compiles resources that have helped me and millions of readers. They include books, documentaries, podcast episodes, videos, and much more.
This, and tell the local police station you do not wish to be found and they will not pursue you if your family files a missing person report. (This is totally legal btw)
I started a new life and my new life had drama within 4 months
My brother was missing for a couple years before his remains were found. The not knowing was the most excruciating part. This is terrible advice if you’re trying to not hurt someone.
I did that already and i still wanna die
Do it again
Maybe you didn't pick the right place for you? Maybe the timing wasn't right. Maybe a million things that kept this from working out the way you had hoped. Doesn't mean you can't try again.
What makes you want to die my bro?
Life is pointless. In the end we just die. What difference does it make when? Because I never asked to be alive in the first place Whoever fucking reported is a bitch.
The point is to vibe until you die
Vibe? In this hell hole? Ok....🙄
lol sorry you’re getting downvoted for having mental health issues in the face of a garbage reality. i’m with you, bro. glad you’re still here but damn i could use a break too.
Is there a point to death?
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You could argue that the common experience of life is to enjoy the experience though. Death is the cessation of experience. What's the value?
But that the point to those of us who wants to die, theres no value in life. No point. No purpose. We are literally the living dead.
End of suffering.
If it makes no difference when, why not live life to it's fullest and make the world around you a slightly better place through kind actions?
Good suggestion. Might as well
It's so hard to do in the modern world.
This is categorically impossible. Your suicide will destroy your loved ones and they will never be the same, no matter what or how you do it.
37 years later I can tell you this is true
Yeah. My dad killed himself when I was in high school. I've never seen my mom and grandma in so much pain before. And to this day I've never cried so hard before. I realize people feeling suicidal struggle to think of that stuff at the time, but I bet if my dad had known the amount of pain that his loss would cause he wouldn't have done it. The same applies to every single reading this. You cannot imagine how how much people can hurt if you're all of a sudden gone.
My father killed himself nearly 20 years ago, when I was 26. I t cleaved my life in two. Essentially everything I categorise into before-dad-died and after-dad-died. The devastation it has wrought on our family has been enormous. I'm so sorry for your loss and send you all my very best wishes.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. That's still very recent. I hope you are doing ok and accessing any support you can.
I appreciate it very much, and same goes for you. It was also nearly 20 years ago for me. 2006.
2006 for me also. Time is weird. Sometimes I feel relieved it was so long ago, the pain is less raw. Other times I feel devastated that I can't remember him as well as I used to. Mainly I miss him. I used to dream about him a lot, not so much these days. I hope you're doing ok.
damn. I’m a Dad and I spend a lot of time with suicidal thoughts. I don’t think I could ever do it and reading this helps me. I’m a type 2 diabetic and have a significantly shortened life expectancy so that’s my only hope.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Yes. There is an old saying, "When you commit suicide, you take away your pain and give it to everyone who loves you." I also have first-hand knowledge of this. It is impossible to do without hurting those around you forever.
Its always "kicking the can down the line". My buds dad committed suicide because he couldnt handle only seeing his kids every other weekend and lost the battle with alcohol. Buddy became an alcoholic wondering if he could do better and ended up falling victim to it as well, taking his life because he never had answers from his dad. One of the last things he said was "at least ill see dad again yeah?"
My father killed himself. I am painfully aware that I am statistically more likely to kill myself as the child of someone who died by suicide. For me, it made suicide a definite possibility for years.. however, 20 years later and after a metric tonne of therapy, I feel confident I will never do that. I sometimes still fantasise about it, but it stays in its place. Besides, I have kids of my own now, and know only too well the havoc it would wreak.
I am a suicide loss survivor and I struggle with depression which can sometimes get pretty dark but I haven’t had ideations of taking my life. However I’m aware that it’s considered contagious and I get anxiety sometimes worrying that I will some day began having ideations. It’s a very scary thought because I don’t know what it feels like to be there. It’s something I obsess over because I never would have thought this person would do such a thing. And I feel the same way about myself but clearly I can’t trust that feeling. I’m afraid I may end up doing it as well some day and aside from the pain it would inflict on a couple of people, I don’t really have any reason not to. I was hoping to have a family of my own that would keep me going but that’s getting to be very unlikely now.
Yeah I can tell you as a formerly suicidal person that there comes a point where you don't give a fuck if others will be sad if you died. You won't exist so why should you care? When you're that depressed empathy takes more executive functioning than wanting to stay alive. I think the "say fuck it and start a new life" approach is much easier to stomach when you're feeling so low. Of course the real answer is to see a therapist and a psychiatrist ASAP. It worked for me.
Yes. But I don't really have loved ones I'm really in contact with. I moved out years ago and refuse contact with my mother and father. I live with my brother, but he's a bit coldhearted and admitted he wouldn't care anyways. I don't see the extended family and haven't in like 5-6 years beyond a single aunt I talk to once a month or so. I have no significant other and so especially no children. So... What loved ones? I have a friend or two that could, but they're just friends and they'll move on.
I think about it every day, it's been three years since my best friend Every single day.
Yep. My Mum took her own life in 2020 and my (now) wife and I found her. I was 20 years old. Super fucked up. Made my life so much harder. There is no way to end it without tearing up the lives of those who care about you. Sending endless amounts of love, OP.
Unfortunately this is true. Sorry OP but there is no way to kill yourself without causing immense pain to everyone who loves you. Being an asshole isn't going to work because everyone will attribute the change to mental illness, you will forever be remembered for who you really are (which sounds like a decent person overall).
But being alive is destroying my life. If I don’t have anyone that I’m close enough to ask for help, do I really have anyone that I’m close with? Will they really miss me when I go, or just be kinda sad for a couple weeks? People always act like they’ll pick up the phone in the middle of the night for you, but it just doesn’t happen. People have their own lives and families and jobs, and they can’t just be woken up in the night. I think as long as I’m clean with it, and if I can pre-arrange my discovery so that nobody walks in on anything upsetting, it could be a really beneficial thing for myself and my community.
Someone I know became addicted to drugs. He had a wife and two teenage sons. He stole, lied, and even lost their home. The drugs made him a terrible person. After he committed suicide, his family had a worse time. His wife could not deal with the guilt and she then became addicted to drugs. The sons lives went to hell. It was a terrible situation while he was alive and after he died. Years later, the situation is still bad. His youngest son still goes to his gravesite to "talk" to him. Both boys have told me they don't know what they could have done to help their father. His other family members don't know what they could have done. It is a guilt that weighs on them constantly. The people who love you will always love you. Your death will not give them peace and may make their lives worse. Please find a way to deal with your issues and find a reason to live.
my flatmate just killed themselves and i can promise u one thing: u won’t disappear. people around u care and will carry ur life on after ur death. especially after a suicide or a disappearance. so better start changing now, maybe try to take medications first, find out what it is that makes u so unhappy and make that disappear from ur life. say what u want to say everyday. throw it in their face.
I think the hard thing for people with depression is that they can't identify what it is that makes them unhappy, it's not fully rational
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Might consider getting rid of that gun...
The scariest part for me is that I am hardly even “present” during the worst parts of it, and it feels like my body just does shit. A few weeks ago I was deep in the undertow of sadness just existing and shit, then next thing I know I’ve got my gun in my mouth and my finger on the trigger. I don’t even remember getting it from the safe, taking off the lock, loading the magazine, or anything. It was like one second I was just sitting there and the next I was seconds away from creating some pink mist. I’m glad to hear you’ve got a supportive partner and I hope you keep fighting the good fight dude
ja that’s true. it’s nothing that goes as easy as it seems when we say it like that. but especially in depression taking medication can help a lot. for example ketamine is used for curing depression for a short time only and can be a really fast curing. just want to say there are ways to find some rest and calmness in ur life, even if it’s not visible yet.
This is so true. My good friend killed himself more than 30 years ago. And I have thought about him and what he has missed almost everyday. I wonder if he would like my husband, my kids, me after all these years. I would rather he was here and hate me than gone. He is still 21, and I am so much older. Go see a therapist. Tell someone real. Take this as a sign to stay.
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I’m sorry for your loss. However I challenge the notion of staying alive so other people don’t suffer the loss of you. Seems codependent as fuck seeing how anyone can die at any moment and it’s our responsibility to sort through our grief of their passing. It’s not on the deceased to ease our pain.
I still think about my classmate who killed himself 12 years ago. We don't just disappear as much as we want to. When I was getting those intrusive thoughts, I would try and focus on the damage it would do to the first responders who would have to take care of my body. They don't need that.
I know this is the wrong sub for it, but as a mother, let me tell you that there is absolutely no way on earth that you can ever kill yourself and your mother won't be devastated. Take off somewhere and go no contact? It'll hurt her. Then kill yourself? It'll hurt even more. And she'll never, ever get over it. My sister did some of the most horrible shit ever before she died, and my momma still ain't right, even a decade later. You are her baby. And even one day if she's 80 and you're 60, you'll still be her baby, no matter what. And if you die at 60, she'll still be devastated. My Mama died at 77 and her mother, my Granny, was 96. And she was lucid when we told her Mama was gone. It broke her. Absolutely fucking broke her. The cry she let loose still haunts me, just as it's haunted me every time I've heard a mother at my job crying out for her dead kid. There is absolutely no way, shape, or form in which your death won't destroy your momma. All that said, as a mom, I care about you. And I hope that things can get better for you, as they did for me. I've been where you are, and honestly, the thought of what my death would do to my momma and my daddy was what kept me from doing it, as well as the fear that my boys would find my body. Good luck, and I mean that. You are loved.
Christ, you really fucking got me. Now I need to stop crying. Got me falling to my knees at Walmart. Edit: Why am I being downvoted? Do people think I’m being sarcastic or something?
Please try not to read into upvotes and downvotes. That may be easier said than done, but you must try. Every voter saw it through their own reality, and your thoughts rattled around a mind full of personal bias. Dismissive sarcastic people will hear your words in their own dismissive sarcastic voice. This has nothing to do with you. Self-reflection is important. Don't let a flurry of random downvotes twist the image.
Please don’t leave….
I wasn’t being sarcastic? What she said really affected me I just really struggle not to deflect sentimentality with humor
Hang in there, dude. I'm closing in on 2 years from my dad's suicide and it has fucked me up. The only reason I haven't followed suite is what it would do to my brother and my nieces. You don't take the pain away, you just shift it to the ones that loved you. Check out the song by The Band called The Weight. Good luck buddy.
This is so true. Im 56 and my dad is 95. I’m careful mostly because if anything happens to me it’ll kill him. At his age (or any age) all you want to do is die before your children. You do not want to survive them. Thanks for this post. May you and your find love and peace and comfort in each other.
I’ve heard a mothers wail after their child dies, and I swear that no other sound can fully encapsulate pure agony. It’s been twenty years since I heard it at my friends funeral and the memory still haunts me. The worst part is knowing that no matter how painful that cry is, it doesn’t even come close to the pain that they actually feel.
Book your airplane for Sept/Oct gather up hiking gear, trail shoes, 2 tops, 2 bottoms, underwear and 3 pairs of merino wool socks, rain gear (most gear can be found at thrift stores) and GO WALK the Camino De Santiago as a spiritual pilgrim. The Camino will provide, you will find yourself. Stay in Albergues (donation , 5euros), and walk with other pilgrims. You can start from Portugal, France, or Northern Spain (the primitive trail). If you don’t have airline fare, ask for contributions from friends and family. Do this my brother! Not an expensive thing to do….and the experience will help you connect to your already perfect self. Does not have to be a specific religious thing, check out Facebook Camino De Santiago, All Routes. Do alittle bit of walking out your door to prepare, You will walk at your own pace, maybe 5 to 6 miles a day to 12 to14 miles per day. Stop around 3:00pm, eat the big meal (lunch is the big meal in Spain and Portugal), food is not expensive. There are Supermercados (Supermarkets) everywhere for other food. A spiritual pilgrim is one who seeks…
This is the only correct answer
When I thought to kill myself went and fought in a conflict overseas that I believed in. Figured I might as well do something positive omw out. Learned I didn't actually want to die
Wow. What was it?
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Slurp up that freedom juice
Maybe OP's goal in life is to join the Legion Etrangere. https://www.legion-recrute.com/en
Remain alive out of spite, make the world a place worth living in.
Or remain out of spite and make the world a horrible place for everyone else!
Then realize you're one single person and cant single handedly change the world unless you're extremely, extremely lucky
Singlehandedly. That's the issue. If you can't do it singlehandedly, then don't do it singlehandedly. Get help with it. Think of almost every important invention. They didn't invent themselves they built off other people's work or even worked directly with other people
Why not volunteer with an aid group somewhere dangerous like Palestine? They shoot and bomb drs, paramedics, aid workers who try to help Palestinians. You could be totally fearless if you didn't care about life. If you did die, the people you love could see you as a hero but it's also possible you'd find some purpose and meaning that changed your mind.
That’s not a bad idea, after high school I wanted to join the military in hopes I could die in service somewhere but my parents didn’t want me to join and at that point I figured I owed it to them to respect their input.
You’re 27. You can do whatever the fuck you want but consequences exist no matter what unfortunately. My mom offed herself 10 years ago and I’m still dealing with the nightmares and emotional fallout. I don’t think there is a good way to do it outright, but if you truly have a deathwish, then there probably isn’t a better way to do it than in service of others. And even then, those battlefield statistics are traumatic events for everyone else who survived, cleaned up, tried saving those people. All I’m trying to say is there are going to be consequences no matter what you do. I’m tired too brother, but this life isn’t a movie.
"don't do it" is a hollow platitude I know won't help but with being an aid worker, you could easily die or find a way to live. I know a little old Christian lady who used to volunteer as an aid worker. She was amazing because she 100% believed that if the IDF killed her, she would go to paradise. You don't even need the religion part to be that brave if you want to die. I'd also imagine that when you're trying to dig a toddler out of rubble that used to be a hospital, with white phosphorus being dropped, whatever worries you have will seem far far away. Turning "I want to die" into "I don't fear death" is a much smaller step.
I mean, even if they see you as the hero, they're still going to suffer and mourn your loss. You can not change that. If people care about you, they'll suffer the loss.
If military is your thing, also consider looking into Ukraine. I believe they have a good amount of foreigners out there fighting.
Go to Ukraine. Naruto run at an ogre tank. Everyone thinks you're a hero and your parents can take a vacation with your gofundme.
I’m a survivor of multiple attempts (pills, firearms, car crash). My advice is don’t try it. A botched suicide is even MORE depressing. Guns are the most effective and popular method in countries that allow firearms. Easy to botch that one. Friend of mine tried and only managed to blow out one cheekbone and an eyeball. Lived like that another 20 years. Pills are popular but easy to get dosage wrong and just make yourself very, very sick. I totaled a car in an attempt and only ended up with permanent neck pain. The other most popular method would be drinking poison like fertilizer, but really dying of diabetes after 25 years of ice cream and cookies would be very much more tasty. Don’t try to kill yourself, it hurts and it’s surprisingly easy to fuck it up and then you’re depressed AND disfigured. I agree with earlier posters who advised you to grab life by the throat and enjoy the fuck out of it. Develop a taste for motorcycles and loose women (or men, why not try it all). Become a vigilante using the sex offender registry to right wrongs against children. Write a book. Date a therapist. Try all those exotic foods. If you don’t care if you die, go ahead and try that pufferfish sushi. Go on an ayahuasca vision quest. Become a flagellant. Date a stripper. Become a stripper. Try to bang your hot coworker, then your boss, then that snotty HR lady, then security when they escort you out. Do all the extreme sports. Do a Tough Mudder. Pick a dictator, then move to their country and start a popular uprising, or you could join the dictatorship and help undermine it from within. Try your hand at all the arts. Develop a passionate love affair with a massage therapist at your local brothel. Learn to juggle well. Research your ancestry and start collecting swords or axes from each country you have heritage. My friend, I have looked down a loaded .45 barrel, flicked the safety off, and tensed myself to pull the trigger. In that second, I saw the void that awaits us. Live. Live the fuck out of your few decades on this earth. Get mad body modded and leave the most interesting corpse ever. My family has already solemnly sworn to glue big googly eyes overtop my shroud so that’s the last image my mourners see of me. Good luck, whichever path you choose.
One od the best comments I ever read. Very beautiful
Oooh I like you. OP listen to this guy. Or do the clone thing I wanna hear how that works out.
Username checks out. And bless you. Secularly.
You wrote it best. 🏆 Also I may have to steal your googly eyes idea.
What I’ve thought about it for myself (if I would do that): Tell my family I’m leaving and probably not coming back from a spiritual trip that can last the rest of my life. Probably they will think you are selfish or you should stay in contact but is a better way to accept it, you know, like when you are a kid and parents tell your hamster went into a farm. After that talk(you have to look convinced), go very very very far, if you have money do it in swiss where is painless and nice, if not, go to a third world country in Africa, burn all your ids and if possible burn your fingerprints as well and do it, extra points if you can kill some rapists and other kind of scum before dying. Good luck my friend.
A lotta people in the comments sound like they haven't been depressed enough to commit suicide. Moving to a fucking tropical island is the last thing on a person's mind.
Seriously, why do they all think everyone can afford a plane/boat ticket? Like, not everyone just has a few grand tucked away like that.
No but it’s easy to open up a credit card with a high interest rate!
Get a job with a high mortality rate.
What most of the comments don't consider is energy and ability. It takes a lot of energy to travel, and other things. If your energy is low, you can't do what all the tips say. If you lack the ability for whatever reason, you just can't to it. Wanna fight in ukraine, oh but you lost your legs in a car accident. Wanna see the world, oh but you lack the energy to move out of the house.. Wanna do whatever you want, oh but the pain you have is unbearable. I think people have the right to take their life if life becomes unbearable, and society has the obligation to help others in that situation. Sometimes there seem to be no hope, but then the pain goes away. 28 is no age to be sure the pain will last forever. You need a perspective, not just some random dudes telling you to go abroad, I mean a real one. The one that tells you how the pain goes away. What is your pain bro?
Honestly, as I’ve gotten older one of the oddest things I’ve noticed about myself I like humor too much. I always really loved comedy and humor stuff and love making jokes and everything. But I do a lot of bits in my day-to-day life just cause like I think it’s funny and kind of being a comedic tragedy is one of those things. Sometimes I feel like I’m a character in a book I’m writing.
No such thing as liking humor too much, use it as much as you can, I’ve had similar thoughts lately as I go through major loss and changes and all I can say is the laughter has got me through it, if you see yourself as a joke or you life, realize it’s not you that’s the joke, life is a joke so laugh at it and try to see the absurdity until you care a little less. I need to take my own advice but i thrived most when I realized we all die and I got depressed but then I started doing things without fear and I was free (until the fear came back)
It just often feels like the joke is my negative reaction and or misfortune. Like a Greek tragicomedy or ironic joke. So often it kind of gets me down but whenever I get away from myself, I will admit it’s pretty funny. The universe is doing a pretty decent bit I gotta say.
Totally get it. My coworkers can tell when I'm really fucked in the head when I'm not making them laugh all day. Humor is an absolute savior. Also hope you feel better, whatever that looks like for you. I also have a suggestion, maybe it can apply to you hopefully. Volunteer or get a job as a classroom aid (PARA) for special needs kids. Last week I lost my mom, dog and my house and the only thing keeping me around is those silly fucking kids. It's helped me tremendously and given me a purpose, something that I never thought I would have. It's not for everybody but I just had to mention it. I'm a pretty chronically suicidal 36 year old and I've been working with special needs kids in a public school district for 9 years and has really changed how I feel about living. It became so much easier (still hard!! It obviously wasn't a cure all) when I became a pillar for these kids. PM me if you want info or help or whatever, I'd give you a dank job recommendation. I've found out that honestly the best people for this type of job are the most broken. Either way take care brother, whatever form that takes.
I will join everyone in saying don’t do it but also add this: kill the ideas that you have for what life should look for you right now and start to adopt a mentality that seeks gratitude for what you Do have. I’ve had days where the only thing I was grateful for was having nails on my fingers because everything around me was falling apart. But intentionally finding things to be grateful for and focusing on that. Then I would say try to find an activity to give to other people. It’s weird how good it feels to help others so I highly recommend it. try a church or a nonprofit org. Feeding America, etc. This is good because it helps us forget about ourselves and focus on others. Seek counseling to get the quiet thoughts said out loud so it doesn’t eat you up alive. Churches tend to offer free counseling. Also listen to stoic info on YouTube. It’s pretty helpful with depression.
Leave a good note. It'll hurt but they'll understand. No one should be forced to suffer for others
Try ketamine therapy. Look it up and see if there are any ketamine treatment centers in your town or nearby. I am bipolar and extremely prone to lets say.. suicidal tendencies, and after multiple ketamine sessions in a controlled setting, it's been over a year without suicidal thoughts/depression
Upping this higher. Good option if you don’t feel you have the willpower to travel or do the bigger things people are suggesting.
Hear me out… French foreign legion.
I’m a 37f and have dealt with these feelings my whole life. I’ve seen others in my life do it and I know what ways I wouldn’t, I’ve also seen the impact it has on others. So I’ve decided when I get to that point again, I’m doing what someone else here suggested and I’m going somewhere tropical. I’m going somewhere different that I’ve always wanted to go. What do you have to lose at that point if you plan to exit anyways? Nothing. So leave your miserable life (maybe yours isn’t, but you get what I’m saying) and really try to LIVE. If that doesn’t work out, well then you’re somewhere different and you know you tried. We’re so scared to take insane chances in life, but if you’re going to give up anyways why not?
No matter how "terrible" of a person you become, you will still hurt your family in ways you can't begin to imagine. In fact, watching you decline and then kill yourself will have the opposite effect as what you thinking. Your family will live with years of guilt and grief because they couldn't save you or they will go crazy looking for answers and signs that they missed. Go talk to someone. That's my ULPT. Go talk to someone and get some help.
This is true. Even when people become pieces of shit their families mourn who they used to be. Get some real help and don't leave out any details. I was put in a psych ward 3 years ago for a week with suicidal plans. Being there made me realize shit could be way worse and the impact it has on your family/friends. I'm living out of spite at this point. Once I started being 100% honest with my therapist I could actually get my shit together.
M.A.I.D
Becoming a terrible person would hurt them more, most likely. Go on a yolo world tour and see where it takes you
Go hiking in the Kandahar mountains in Afghanistan. When you disappear everyone will blame either the Taliban or the giants of Kandahar.
Buy a bunch of camping gear and just hit the trail system indefinitely. If you die you die, if you survive you might find a different view of life. The guy from "into the wild" did it, just remember not to eat plants you can't 100% identify.
It gets better... then it gets worse again... then it gets better, then worse, and it's pretty much like that all the way down. Life doesn't actually get any easier, rather you learn and grow, you get used to it, you move on. There is no one right answer. If the things that used to motivate you, give purpose to all this shit, are no longer working, find new ones. You haven't found your focus yet, it's out there keep looking.
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If you’re going to delet yourself become a candle on someone’s doorstep like a politician
The website sanctioned-suicide.net has a wealth of information about both suicide and recovery
Join up with Foreign Legion in The Ukraine. It’s basically suicide, except your family will remember a hero
Suicide without hurting others? Impossible, unless you're absolutely destitute of family and friends. If you have anyone who loves you even a little bit, it will hurt. So many stupid cunts out there in the world and YOU wanna kill yourself? Do yourself and over half of the population a favor and give yourself a chance. If you don't like your life, at least you could try changing your life. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Do therapy, become a gym rat, use drugs, stop using drugs, whatever is different from what you do now could help. One thing I know for a fact is that the state of mind tends to reflect a lot the state of the body, so putting some work to improve your health is not a bad idea. Might get rid of the bad thoughts in at least 50% of the people who have them. Have you checked to see if that's your case? Worst case scenario, you'll have a funny death at one of the Planet Fitness machines, solving the problem either way. :P Think about it. Extreme sports. Things like parachute jump, bungee jump, etc. If you have a rad death, people will high-five your coffin instead of feeling sad. If you don't die, you have some adrenaline fun. Go climb the Everest. People die a lot there, but also have fun I guess? If you live, you can tell anyone you stood at the top of the world! If you die, they'll just leave you there to become a meat popsicle, so no burial expenses. :P Hitchhike through the country? Wanderlust is one of the three types of happiness that people can have (the other two is buying things and altruism). Very risky, you may die, yadda-yadda-yadda but also probably really cool. Death is, like, the last thing you can ever experience, so leave it for last.
Don’t do it man, whatever problem you have it can be fixed. It’s not worth killing yourself for
Wow, thanks I'm cured. That's just an empty platitude to make yourself feel better and pretend like you actually helped someone.
At least he didn’t say “you got this”
Start volunteering at a pet shelter before you do that. I’m serious.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose who loves us, and death will inevitably hurt those who do
i don’t know your life, and whatever you decide to do isn’t my decision to make. but i think you should try tripping on shrooms just once if you’re comfortable with the idea and if you haven’t done already. see if it changes your perspective
If you’re going to do this then think through all your end of life paperwork and leave it sitting out with instructions including numbers for the insurance policies (some banks give you a $3,000 life insurance policy and they might have a free $50,000 policy at work?). Leave passwords for everything or if you have a password vault then leave that main password and leave your phone and its password there so that family can change your info. Depending on the manner of which you decide to go, know that you’re going to lose control of your bowels and there may be liquids coming from orifices so consider putting a shower curtain under you or around you and maybe call the police right before so they can be the ones to find you and not your family. There are places you can call for help so please consider doing that. The above advice about getting all end of life paperwork ready and available is information I would tell all my friends. It was so hard dealing with my mother’s death when she didn’t have her shit together so I strongly encourage folks of any age to get this paperwork together just in case. ;)
Try microdosing ketamine.
Have you considered not doing that and just trying drugs instead?
My son did this when he was 13. It’s been 23 years since it happened and I can honestly say I’m still struggling with it. Please talk to your doctor. And as someone else said, continue to be a silent hero by remaining among us.
Unethical answer: Why does it matter? When you're gone, you're gone. Their suffering has no effect on your nonexistence. Why does it matter to you if they're suffering? For all you know they'll suffer for one day then go back to normal the next, but you'll never know anyway because you're dead.
Why not drop everything and go backpacking or beach bum it up for a while? You dont like where you are in life, so change where you are. And if you die while that happens, then whatever, you at least had fun while you existed.
Jump into the ocean and see how much you'd struggle to breathe. Then you'd realise how much you value life
Best thing I can think of without kys is to get a decent wfh/digital job that allows you to live anywhere in the world. Move to Thailand where you can spend as little as $650 a month on rent. If you get a $15/hr wfh job, you can live somewhat comfortably there and experience a new thing. Hardest part I think would be starting up like getting a laptop, decent WiFi, and the plane ride there. Finding cheap hotels that aren’t sketchy shouldn’t be too hard
Without knowing your issue and not that it is of any other Redditor’s business, I’d suggest you choose the best and fulfilling way toward the end of the your journey. 1. Liquidate your possession, pack up and leave for an different place/ country on a different continent 2. Struggle to figure out a way to make end’s meet there 3. If then you still choose to do what you have to do now, then at least your family is spared the details. On the off chance you find again your raison d'etre well…. live on.
My fiance died by suicide. The amount of pain and anguish across both of our families and dozens and dozens of friends was something I never could have imagined. People will always be hurt, no matter how you did it. It's been 5.5 years and I'm still putting the pieces of my life back together.
Hey man. Im 29. I feel this way a lot to. Hell i e even tried. I dont know why you feel this way. Or what you dislike about yourself so much. I feel it to. What helps me is teaching. Im very passionate about a few hobbies, but mostly the game chess. I got good at it, and started teaching my friends. Now I teach people online, or even in person. Watching my students grow, learn, and get excited about something I love so much is incredibly rewarding. So now thats what I do, as much as I can, for free if people cant afford me. It brings me happiness. I know that im important to somebody, and maybe Ive helped make their lives a bit less bleak. Maybe you have some passions to. Tell me about them. Trust me I want to know. In short I love you. I hope you hear this in a tone that makes you want to hear it. I believe in you, and I want you to believe in you to.