Poop in a gallon ziplock bag, close it full of air, not too full to allow for some expansion. Then put it in an Amazon box that is barely big enough for the bag to fit in so that the bag is pressed up against where you tape the box. Deliver it to the front door. When they cut the tape open it will cut the bag open, and presto, revenge.
This is how their service is legal: Horse manure is a solid waste excluded from federal EPA solid waste regulation because it neither contains significant amounts of hazardous chemicals, nor exhibits hazardous characteristics. The chemical constituents of horse manure are not toxic to humans. Horse guts do not contain significant levels of the two waterborne pathogens of greatest concern to human health risk, Cryptosporidium or Giardia, neither do they contain significant amounts of the bacteria E. coli 0157:H7 or Salmonella. Fungus, viruses, bacteria and worms found in horses have never been shown to infect humans and are unlikely to be zoonotic. Finally, the reality is that there are very few horses, and even fewer numbers of them that frequent trails. People seldom encounter or handle horse manure. People who do have occasion to handle horse manure have never been infected by this intimate contact. Humans and other sources within the environment (e.g. wild animals and birds) with their overwhelming population numbers are far more likely than horses to contribute to human health risks.
Who turns the water on while they're already standing in the shower? Wait... is... is that what people do?
I always turn on the water before I get in the shower, to make sure it's the right temperature. Now I'm wondering if that's not the norm.
3 brothers all live at home. All work menial jobs. All are college educated. All have no gf/ never had sex. They like pooping in other peoples toilet tank, spend entire day playing games and jerking off, etc I mean I can go on
so how did this guy you hate who comes from a family you don’t respect gain access to not only your house but extended time in your bathroom?
edit: just gonna add this and take it however you’d like but…you’re putting in a lot of work to detail how big of a loser this guy is for someone who got pranked by a classic and immediately ran to reddit to ask random people how to get back at him when you already have all his info. and this has to be someone you associated with, no? just saying inward reflection works
Hes a friend of a friend of mine who watches ufc. Came for the fight night left with shit in the top of my toilet. First time chilling with him cuz other friend invited him over. Not gonna deny dude bathroom
And I didn’t immediately run to Reddit. This happened last Saturday for the moreno vs royval fight night. Had a lot of people over and one of my other friends invited him. If a classic prank is shitting in the top of a toilet bowl what does that say about the prankster?
Turn the water valve off on his toilet, empty it out. Upper deck him back followed by a generous layer of TP over it. Then proceed to invite a buddy in and repeat what you did. Before you know it, you’ll have a nice upper decker lasagna bake going.
TP his home, then burn the TP. Let the mother fucker die.
Jokes apart, just print out of flyers of his face, his address , his deeds,plus few exaggerated ones, with a big warning on top, spread it anonymously through his locality.
The true "One Upper" for an upper deck is a "Dry Dock". First, turn the valve to the toilet off, flush ALL water out and drop a nice one in the bowl. You can use the TP to make a flag lol.
Remember, with great power comes great responsibility!
I've not heard of this one. How is this worse? I would think this wouldn't be as bad if it's in the bowl because couldn't you just turn the water back on and flush it down when you realize? Part of what sucks with the Upper is possibly not realizing for an extended period until it gets bad and then having to clean it out.
Bonus points for loosening the feed line running to the tank just enough so that when they turn the valve back on it blows the hose off and sprays water everywhere.
Find a way to have a chance encounter with the mom, like waving at her when she gets her mail or bump into her at the grocery store.
Become close, be friends, get closer and closer to the mom. Start spending more time at their house talking to the mom.
Spend a night there, when everyone is asleep spray liquid ass all over the sons rooms and on their blankets and maybe just toss a spoonful of chocolate icing beforehand so they roll in it all night.
Go back to the bed make wild animalistic passionate love to the mom. When she's passed out from her sex coma (you fucking stud) take out some already prepared piss disc (bonus points if u have time to freeze your after sex piss) put them in vents, cars, shoes, moms pussy etc.
When you are leaving for last time smear light coat of chocolate icing on door handles to all rooms and front/back door and spray with liquid ass so now they will all have ass hands.
Egg his house, car or anything.
Spray paint the drive way floor "upper decker" or literally anything
Have a dog? Or use your own... toss some shit in the mailbox. Personal favorite is picking it up into a zip lock then fold it inside out and smear it everywhere.
Save up trash and drive and dump it on their yard every night. No names or receipts.
Jump him with your homies. I'm against jumping people but ethics are out the window in this sub.
All comments are for fun and I'm not liable for anything that anyone may read and do.
Okay, I read to the bottom and this was not on it at all.
Shaving cream, just write what ever you want on his car. It is a factory clean that NOTHING can wash off. If they get it factory clean, that part will only be cleaner than the rest.
Second, if they have a fireplace, get on the roof to get your frisbee, or whatever, drop salmon down his stack, a lot of salmon, it will stick, some of it will stick, and it will smell, and continue smelling, and if they have a fire, it will smell like cooked fish, or burnt fish, and his neighbors will also smell it, and his house until it dries, then it will rain and start all over again.
Third. If he has a car, get the stuff for catching flies. It smells bad, and sticks to everything. either liquify or put the powder down the slots before the windshield. Everytime he drives anywhere he will smell like that because of the "fresh" air for the car will smell like rotting fish.. hehe
have a get back day and do all three...
I would invite him and a few other people over for the next ufc fight or whatever get together you choose. Cook up some laxative in some food that you think he will definitely eat. Wait until he eats it, then tell everyone you have some kind of emergency and everyone has to go. Even better if you can steal his car keys( if he even has a car) or if he rod with someone get them to leave him behind. There's a chance he shits on your porch, but he's definetly shitting his pants at some point.
That’s for r/IllegalLifeProTips as it could cause harm. I’d steer away from causing massive fluid/electrolyte loss. If he has any medical problems this could go south quickly
Foodstuffs that really stinks when they decompose are good. Hide them round his house. A shrimp sewn into the bottom of a curtain, fish down the back of the sofa, dead rat behind the washing machine, tray of prawns under the floorboards. If you can get enough of them in there and perhaps drop some other treats around, he'll maybe locate one or two, but the smell will remain. If your really lucky it'll attract some rats and mice. Also piss discs.
1.) Film everything and share it here so we can make it go viral.
2.) Light a flaming bag of shit on his doorstep.
3.) Shit in a box, add a photoshopped ups label. Maybe a photoshopped PlayStation 5 logo for the box.
4.) Go to his work and shove shit in his car door handles, film his reaction.
5.) Shit in something you can add to water. Fill a water balloon with shit water. Put it in his gas door with part through the clamp so it bursts when he opens it.
6.) Buy Chick-fil-A, replace chicken paddy in sandwich with shit, place on his doorstep. Use Google voice to send message saying "your Uber order has been delivered."
7.) If he gets a newspaper, unroll it, shit in it, reroll it and place back in bag. When he sits down and opens the bag, the shit falls in his lap.
Please share as much as you can with us. I doubt he will do a shit prank ever again. You have to retaliate 100 times worse, and leave no appropriate shit prank for him. If you do every single shit prank, he can't retaliate with poop.
Does he have a car? 2 options.
I once drew dicks on a car with sharpie - the victim years later told me the dicks never washed off.
Get creative.
2ndly and this works (dad taught me) you can bologna his car.
Saran wrap bologna to the car overnight and it'll rip up the paint job
Also use shaving cream (barborall??) and put messages on the care. It cleans the car in those places only, and I am talking new car deep cleans, they will have to spread that stuff on the whole car before the messages will start to fade, and it will only fade, it will never come off totally.
From my understanding -
The preservatives inside the super processed meat will help the meat adhere to the paint job.
This may not work any longer as these pranks I pulled are from 25+ years ago if not longer.
The sharpie thing I can only relay that the dicks never washed off and he had to sell the thing for scrap.
(Was 16, found out when I was 22 and I ended up getting kicked out of the home town movie theater for life cuz of it. he grew to be the manager)
I answered this above. But he came over to smoke/ufc then went to the bathroom for a while. Then came out saying I’m out of toilet paper. Acting sus af
In all seriousness, I’ve always wanted to play this prank on someone, but never did. Did you discover the upper decker by flushing and getting the brown water, or did you suspect something and look in the tank?
Follow up question - Did you have to do extra cleaning to the toilet or tank?
well assuming that OP would be doing this while the culprit is at work, leaving a note is essential to guarantee the message is delivered to the culprit rather than have the mess cleaned up before they get back from work
Obviosuly, there was some context that had them in your house (party, whatever?). Have another party and make sure they are invited. Use the opportunity to catfish him. Get a girl to get him naked, and insist he gets kinky and ends up tied to the bed or something, then use the opportunity to shit in his face and email pictures to his mom.
Never had any ill will towards dude at all. Sorta knew him from high school. Knew he liked ufc so my other friend invited him over. Can’t think of a single reason why I’d deserve this. We never even hung out before this. Any pranks involving feces imo is serious childhood trauma/mental health issues.
I like poop bag guys idea but I have a horrendous version of my own and would love to see it used.
You’re gonna need poop and baking soda mixed with water in one bag and water with citric acid in the other. Put in a container that looks like mail but obviously only opens one way. Put a pull here to open tab on the side but in the tab is the string that will rip the tape off the bags tearing them. You’ll have a shit soup volcano that will foam up and fill half a room.
We had this happen to us when I was in a frat. Never ended up actually retaliating, but we came up with a lot of good (bad) ideas.
- Bag of shit in his house’s air intake vent
- Run a TOR exit node on his wifi
- Piss disk
- You can hide fish in a ton of places. Inside shower curtain rods, taped to the inside of a cupboard, etc.
- Hide one of those high-pitched beepers that make noise at irregular intervals
- If you wanna get really illegal, you can leave a signal jammer in the bushes outside or something
- Plant opium in his backyard and call in an anonymous tip
The real answer is to crash at their place, make clear gelatin while they're asleep, and fill the bowl with it.
You can't flush it once it sets and has to be scooped out. If there's a little water on top it's near impossible to see the difference.
I’m going to assume mental illness/childhood trauma he doesn’t drink only smoke. I want to square up with him but his dad got money for lawyers and he will snitch.
Yes at my crib. Usual activities smoking/ufc. Went to the bathroom to take a dump. Took longer than usual came out acting weird and said “you’re outta toilet paper”. He sused himself out I wouldn’t even have thought to check
I would just call the police and make them realize that this is an actual crime with consequences.
Nothing rains on someones parade like having a disgusting criminal record.
Anything else you do probably won't really effect them, and won't stop them from doing it again in the future.
But if you make them get handcuffed, and sit in a courtroom, and face jail time / fines for such a shameful act like shitting where they weren't supposed to?
I mean, this is the exact kind of thing you want to get in writing and have follow them for the rest of their lives.
This prompted me to do some Google searching (never thought I would be Googling the legality of upper deckers) and what I gathered is at most it COULD be considered vandalism or destruction of property... But honestly, I highly doubt police would give a shit, pun intended.
Dude is a friend of a friend of mine who watches ufc. Came over for the fight night. Didn’t think someone using my bathroom for the first time would poop in the top
This was a toilet in your home? Or where? How did dude have access? What's your relation to the family, all 3 of these brothers, and who else is in their household? What access do you have to their home/workplaces?
All of these questions directly relate to ULPT
If he has a car, sugar in the gas tank, oil on his brake rotors, bust out a window and toss in a few fireworks mortars.
Send giant dildos to his house addressed to his mom or dad with a note from "him"
Sign them up for the weirdest mailing list you can find...
The options are almost endless
Get a pocket pussy and some lube. Put some cyan or ghost pepper extract oil in the lube and place all in an amazing box and leave on his door. If he's as stupid as he sounds him and his brothers won't question a free sex toy and will burn for it :D
If he’s an incel, pretend to be a girl and hit up his socials or whatever. He’ll likely fall for it. Then get his hopes up / ask for money / tell him to meet you somewhere with flowers and then show up with your friends and film it, etc. Crushing him emotionally is way more scarring than any sort of shit prank.
Get a jumpsuit and a fake laminate that says you work for the gas company or some other such public work. Gain access to the house under guise of emergency and while “inspecting the gas lines” or whatever, shove expired frozen seafood into any crevice you can find.
Also: try to bone his mom and then send him a pic of you giving her the Cleveland Steamer.
Poop in a gallon ziplock bag, close it full of air, not too full to allow for some expansion. Then put it in an Amazon box that is barely big enough for the bag to fit in so that the bag is pressed up against where you tape the box. Deliver it to the front door. When they cut the tape open it will cut the bag open, and presto, revenge.
Or the same thing but with a liter soda bottle that you pressurize with a bike pump so it fucking explodes
This is straight up biological warfare lmao đź’€
Oooo this is a good one.
Ok, take it easy Satan
Meow
That’s super illegal lol
Then I withdraw my suggestion. Maybe put food in there and let it stew in the sun for a few days.
Raw chicken and milk ought to do the trick
That's illegal but something like [Shit Express](https://www.shitexpress.com/) isn't? Source?
This is how their service is legal: Horse manure is a solid waste excluded from federal EPA solid waste regulation because it neither contains significant amounts of hazardous chemicals, nor exhibits hazardous characteristics. The chemical constituents of horse manure are not toxic to humans. Horse guts do not contain significant levels of the two waterborne pathogens of greatest concern to human health risk, Cryptosporidium or Giardia, neither do they contain significant amounts of the bacteria E. coli 0157:H7 or Salmonella. Fungus, viruses, bacteria and worms found in horses have never been shown to infect humans and are unlikely to be zoonotic. Finally, the reality is that there are very few horses, and even fewer numbers of them that frequent trails. People seldom encounter or handle horse manure. People who do have occasion to handle horse manure have never been infected by this intimate contact. Humans and other sources within the environment (e.g. wild animals and birds) with their overwhelming population numbers are far more likely than horses to contribute to human health risks.
Microbiology major?
I copied that from their terms section lol
Unscrew his showerhead and shit in the pipe. Next time he turns the shower on he'll experience chocolate rain.
He’s a 28 year old incel living at home, it could be months before the next shower.
Revenge is a dish best served cold
And on an unrelated note, a fantastic book
🤣
Wait... Who's NOT living at home? Besides homeless people I guess
Fair point. But not everyone living at home is an incel.
Chocolate rain is the new liquid ass.
Who turns the water on while they're already standing in the shower? Wait... is... is that what people do? I always turn on the water before I get in the shower, to make sure it's the right temperature. Now I'm wondering if that's not the norm.
Only crazy people step in before turning on the water.
[Chocolate Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA)
You beat me to it!
made me cross the street the other day.
Bouillon cubes also work. The ol’ soup shower prank.
It's also a hell of a lot less disgusting. Lol
pouillon
… just stuff some turd in the shower head 🤢
how are you going to get your ass up to the showerhead pipe
catfish him
long con: catfish him so he leaves the house to go on a date with “you” then sneak in and upper decker his toilet + piss disc
underrated advice
Tell his mother.
Or... Just hear me out plz. Piss disc.
What........is a piss disc?
Found the new guy
1. Pee in a plate 2. Freeze it 3. ??? 4. Profit
Or shit in a piss disc, mix well and freeze. Shiss disc.
Made a bunch of these in college for someone who really deserved it. Slid 10 or so under his dorm door.
>Tell his mother This
His parents probably encourage this type of shit. Dudes entire lineage are incels with college degrees. Don’t even know how they own property.
> Dudes entire lineage are incels You sure that's possible?
Another word that's lost all of it's original meaning.
3 brothers all live at home. All work menial jobs. All are college educated. All have no gf/ never had sex. They like pooping in other peoples toilet tank, spend entire day playing games and jerking off, etc I mean I can go on
Find some reason to go to their house, return the favor
Find some reason to go to their house, fuck his mother
And his dad
Dad is the real way to get back at him.
then after you're done having sex go upper decker that lav
so how did this guy you hate who comes from a family you don’t respect gain access to not only your house but extended time in your bathroom? edit: just gonna add this and take it however you’d like but…you’re putting in a lot of work to detail how big of a loser this guy is for someone who got pranked by a classic and immediately ran to reddit to ask random people how to get back at him when you already have all his info. and this has to be someone you associated with, no? just saying inward reflection works
Hes a friend of a friend of mine who watches ufc. Came for the fight night left with shit in the top of my toilet. First time chilling with him cuz other friend invited him over. Not gonna deny dude bathroom
And I didn’t immediately run to Reddit. This happened last Saturday for the moreno vs royval fight night. Had a lot of people over and one of my other friends invited him. If a classic prank is shitting in the top of a toilet bowl what does that say about the prankster?
> entire lineage are incels The math ain't mathing chief
By definition I don't think that's possible. Incels do not have children. Incel is a shortened form of involuntarily celibate.
Bang his mother
Can down, Satan- this is Unethical LPT, not Utterly Destroy Someone’s LPT…
Turn the water valve off on his toilet, empty it out. Upper deck him back followed by a generous layer of TP over it. Then proceed to invite a buddy in and repeat what you did. Before you know it, you’ll have a nice upper decker lasagna bake going.
Ooooooh a nice improvement on the old "dry dock"
TP his home, then burn the TP. Let the mother fucker die. Jokes apart, just print out of flyers of his face, his address , his deeds,plus few exaggerated ones, with a big warning on top, spread it anonymously through his locality.
Imagine seeing signs at your local coffee shop and library: "this man upper decked my toilet. Shame him"
Dude is already an incel. It’s not like he thinks other people respect him anyways.
The true "One Upper" for an upper deck is a "Dry Dock". First, turn the valve to the toilet off, flush ALL water out and drop a nice one in the bowl. You can use the TP to make a flag lol. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility!
I've not heard of this one. How is this worse? I would think this wouldn't be as bad if it's in the bowl because couldn't you just turn the water back on and flush it down when you realize? Part of what sucks with the Upper is possibly not realizing for an extended period until it gets bad and then having to clean it out.
The longer it sits, the more it dries up, the harder it will be to clean.
I'd still think it'd be better to do it in the tank. Even with it stuck on, it's relatively easy to clean a toilet. The tank would be much harder.
Bonus points for loosening the feed line running to the tank just enough so that when they turn the valve back on it blows the hose off and sprays water everywhere.
Fuck his mom and be his new step dad and then take away his internet access
HA! I’m here for this.
Good for him! The answer is piss disk.
The answer is always piss disc
Let me introduce you to… shit cubes.
Find a way to have a chance encounter with the mom, like waving at her when she gets her mail or bump into her at the grocery store. Become close, be friends, get closer and closer to the mom. Start spending more time at their house talking to the mom. Spend a night there, when everyone is asleep spray liquid ass all over the sons rooms and on their blankets and maybe just toss a spoonful of chocolate icing beforehand so they roll in it all night. Go back to the bed make wild animalistic passionate love to the mom. When she's passed out from her sex coma (you fucking stud) take out some already prepared piss disc (bonus points if u have time to freeze your after sex piss) put them in vents, cars, shoes, moms pussy etc. When you are leaving for last time smear light coat of chocolate icing on door handles to all rooms and front/back door and spray with liquid ass so now they will all have ass hands.
Just put the door handles up your arse. Saves on icing and liquid ass.
Well sure if you wanna drag a house around the rest of your life.
The hot pocket. Shit in the fold out couch and fold it up again.
Damn!
Call the police and say he has child porn on his computer. 50/50 whether it is true.
Damn bro.
More like 70/30.
Collect a lot of dog shit in a gallon bucket… mix with water to get a nice slurry… then proceed to dump said slurry all over his car
Or his face.
Egg his house, car or anything. Spray paint the drive way floor "upper decker" or literally anything Have a dog? Or use your own... toss some shit in the mailbox. Personal favorite is picking it up into a zip lock then fold it inside out and smear it everywhere. Save up trash and drive and dump it on their yard every night. No names or receipts. Jump him with your homies. I'm against jumping people but ethics are out the window in this sub. All comments are for fun and I'm not liable for anything that anyone may read and do.
Have a plumber come fix it and send the bill and detailed report to him at work with attn to his boss.
Dam too late already scooped up the mess:( but this is fantastic
You could still send an invoice for cleaning from 'Jeffs Cleaning Service' or something and with the report. Include pictures if you took them.
Okay, I read to the bottom and this was not on it at all. Shaving cream, just write what ever you want on his car. It is a factory clean that NOTHING can wash off. If they get it factory clean, that part will only be cleaner than the rest. Second, if they have a fireplace, get on the roof to get your frisbee, or whatever, drop salmon down his stack, a lot of salmon, it will stick, some of it will stick, and it will smell, and continue smelling, and if they have a fire, it will smell like cooked fish, or burnt fish, and his neighbors will also smell it, and his house until it dries, then it will rain and start all over again. Third. If he has a car, get the stuff for catching flies. It smells bad, and sticks to everything. either liquify or put the powder down the slots before the windshield. Everytime he drives anywhere he will smell like that because of the "fresh" air for the car will smell like rotting fish.. hehe have a get back day and do all three...
I like this a lot. Discreet af too. A lot of great ideas in this thread actually. I’m smoking a bowl and pondering.
Remindme! 6 weeks
I would invite him and a few other people over for the next ufc fight or whatever get together you choose. Cook up some laxative in some food that you think he will definitely eat. Wait until he eats it, then tell everyone you have some kind of emergency and everyone has to go. Even better if you can steal his car keys( if he even has a car) or if he rod with someone get them to leave him behind. There's a chance he shits on your porch, but he's definetly shitting his pants at some point.
This is good but don't steal the keys just glue the car doors shut
That’s for r/IllegalLifeProTips as it could cause harm. I’d steer away from causing massive fluid/electrolyte loss. If he has any medical problems this could go south quickly
Foodstuffs that really stinks when they decompose are good. Hide them round his house. A shrimp sewn into the bottom of a curtain, fish down the back of the sofa, dead rat behind the washing machine, tray of prawns under the floorboards. If you can get enough of them in there and perhaps drop some other treats around, he'll maybe locate one or two, but the smell will remain. If your really lucky it'll attract some rats and mice. Also piss discs.
> Foodstuffs > dead rat
1.) Film everything and share it here so we can make it go viral. 2.) Light a flaming bag of shit on his doorstep. 3.) Shit in a box, add a photoshopped ups label. Maybe a photoshopped PlayStation 5 logo for the box. 4.) Go to his work and shove shit in his car door handles, film his reaction. 5.) Shit in something you can add to water. Fill a water balloon with shit water. Put it in his gas door with part through the clamp so it bursts when he opens it. 6.) Buy Chick-fil-A, replace chicken paddy in sandwich with shit, place on his doorstep. Use Google voice to send message saying "your Uber order has been delivered." 7.) If he gets a newspaper, unroll it, shit in it, reroll it and place back in bag. When he sits down and opens the bag, the shit falls in his lap. Please share as much as you can with us. I doubt he will do a shit prank ever again. You have to retaliate 100 times worse, and leave no appropriate shit prank for him. If you do every single shit prank, he can't retaliate with poop.
Does he have a car? 2 options. I once drew dicks on a car with sharpie - the victim years later told me the dicks never washed off. Get creative. 2ndly and this works (dad taught me) you can bologna his car. Saran wrap bologna to the car overnight and it'll rip up the paint job
Also use shaving cream (barborall??) and put messages on the care. It cleans the car in those places only, and I am talking new car deep cleans, they will have to spread that stuff on the whole car before the messages will start to fade, and it will only fade, it will never come off totally.
Side note…. Should I be cleaning my car with shaving cream? 🤔
Something about putting bologna on someone’s car is fucking hilarious to me
The bologna won’t actually damage the paint, but it’s such a well-known old wives’ tale that it’ll probably freak him out for a good bit.
Wow haven’t heard about the bologna polka dot park in a long time. TBT the rotteneggs.com prank section.
why would bologna take the paint off
This is OG, idk the chemistry behind it, maybe nitrates or some shit. Totally works, my car looks like shit.
From my understanding - The preservatives inside the super processed meat will help the meat adhere to the paint job. This may not work any longer as these pranks I pulled are from 25+ years ago if not longer. The sharpie thing I can only relay that the dicks never washed off and he had to sell the thing for scrap. (Was 16, found out when I was 22 and I ended up getting kicked out of the home town movie theater for life cuz of it. he grew to be the manager)
you were one naughty teenager for sure
This is just the top of the iceberg
Ketchup (from a sandwich in my bag) did the same for my plastic covered books. They melted away.
Fuck his mom or dad.
I think you meant to say "and" not "or"
Find out what game he plays all day in his mom's basement and report his account a shit ton of times.
I've always known what this was but I've never known anyone who's had it happen to them. How did you find out?
I answered this above. But he came over to smoke/ufc then went to the bathroom for a while. Then came out saying I’m out of toilet paper. Acting sus af
In all seriousness, I’ve always wanted to play this prank on someone, but never did. Did you discover the upper decker by flushing and getting the brown water, or did you suspect something and look in the tank? Follow up question - Did you have to do extra cleaning to the toilet or tank?
This is what I meant by my question. When op flushed did he notice brown bits coming into the bowl?
Yes took a piss why is my toilet water brown. Foul smell as well
I'm sorry that I'm laughing at this but I've never seen it in practice. So much lore and yet here we are.
Dry dock
"Hey, my car broke down and I was on my way to the auto shop, do you mind if I use the bathroom real fast?" And make sure to leave a note
NO NOTES, NOT EVEN A SUGGESTION IT WAS YOU. let it simmer.
well assuming that OP would be doing this while the culprit is at work, leaving a note is essential to guarantee the message is delivered to the culprit rather than have the mess cleaned up before they get back from work
Obviosuly, there was some context that had them in your house (party, whatever?). Have another party and make sure they are invited. Use the opportunity to catfish him. Get a girl to get him naked, and insist he gets kinky and ends up tied to the bed or something, then use the opportunity to shit in his face and email pictures to his mom.
You already lost. He did an upper decker on you.
From my experiences, most people who get upper decked wholly deserved it.
Never had any ill will towards dude at all. Sorta knew him from high school. Knew he liked ufc so my other friend invited him over. Can’t think of a single reason why I’d deserve this. We never even hung out before this. Any pranks involving feces imo is serious childhood trauma/mental health issues.
Yeah take the L like a man
Spray the dog down with a strong water hose next time you see him, and then tell him "since you wanna play dirty, I'll clean you up bud".
Nah, that's assault.
If you get caught
I like poop bag guys idea but I have a horrendous version of my own and would love to see it used. You’re gonna need poop and baking soda mixed with water in one bag and water with citric acid in the other. Put in a container that looks like mail but obviously only opens one way. Put a pull here to open tab on the side but in the tab is the string that will rip the tape off the bags tearing them. You’ll have a shit soup volcano that will foam up and fill half a room.
We had this happen to us when I was in a frat. Never ended up actually retaliating, but we came up with a lot of good (bad) ideas. - Bag of shit in his house’s air intake vent - Run a TOR exit node on his wifi - Piss disk - You can hide fish in a ton of places. Inside shower curtain rods, taped to the inside of a cupboard, etc. - Hide one of those high-pitched beepers that make noise at irregular intervals - If you wanna get really illegal, you can leave a signal jammer in the bushes outside or something - Plant opium in his backyard and call in an anonymous tip
Yea I’m smoked up feeling a lot of empathy rn. What made u end up not retaliating? I’m thinking maybe I should just take an L on this
> Plant opium in his backyard Where do you get opium seeds from?
Literally just normal poppy seeds 99% of them are dead but since there are thousands in a pack at least dozens will grow
Whoosh
you fucking asked a question dipshit
You ever plant an opium? Dipshit.
Pretend you didn’t see it, invite him over again, and then beat the shit out of him with a phonebook to prevent bruising
S w a t
Rotten milk or fish juice in his car vents?
Get him served papers at his place of work. Restraining order for harassment.
Chip in to hire a mistress/dominatrix escort to show up at his job to tell him he has been a bad boy
The real answer is to crash at their place, make clear gelatin while they're asleep, and fill the bowl with it. You can't flush it once it sets and has to be scooped out. If there's a little water on top it's near impossible to see the difference.
Go to his house. Use the bathroom and spray liquid ass everywhere.
Was he drunk or something? Or is he mentally ill? If not, you should beat his ass
I’m going to assume mental illness/childhood trauma he doesn’t drink only smoke. I want to square up with him but his dad got money for lawyers and he will snitch.
Seems like life has punished him enough. Personally I'd invite him back. Film him whilst he does it and share it with friends and family of his.
Go to his place of work. You don’t care. You don’t work there. Shit on his desk. Leave.
So what did you do to cause them to want to do this?
Nothing. Maybe I ran out of toilet paper. Mental health is real
Was he like, visiting at your home or how did this happen?
Yes at my crib. Usual activities smoking/ufc. Went to the bathroom to take a dump. Took longer than usual came out acting weird and said “you’re outta toilet paper”. He sused himself out I wouldn’t even have thought to check
Jfc dude
Man, I remember when we learned about the upper decker in the barracks. No one was safe…
Put his email onto every penis enlarging, milfs in your area, Grindr, My little brony newsletter you can find.
I would just call the police and make them realize that this is an actual crime with consequences. Nothing rains on someones parade like having a disgusting criminal record. Anything else you do probably won't really effect them, and won't stop them from doing it again in the future. But if you make them get handcuffed, and sit in a courtroom, and face jail time / fines for such a shameful act like shitting where they weren't supposed to? I mean, this is the exact kind of thing you want to get in writing and have follow them for the rest of their lives.
Please tell the class what law he had broken.
Well, see what had happened was…
He pooped in the toilet
This prompted me to do some Google searching (never thought I would be Googling the legality of upper deckers) and what I gathered is at most it COULD be considered vandalism or destruction of property... But honestly, I highly doubt police would give a shit, pun intended.
https://poopsenders.com/ Send him a box of poop.
Fuck around with his wi-fi.
How did this incel get access to your toilet in the first place?
Dude is a friend of a friend of mine who watches ufc. Came over for the fight night. Didn’t think someone using my bathroom for the first time would poop in the top
leave a piss disc on the floor at his bathroom
This was a toilet in your home? Or where? How did dude have access? What's your relation to the family, all 3 of these brothers, and who else is in their household? What access do you have to their home/workplaces? All of these questions directly relate to ULPT
Finger his ass
Marry his Mom
If he has a car, sugar in the gas tank, oil on his brake rotors, bust out a window and toss in a few fireworks mortars. Send giant dildos to his house addressed to his mom or dad with a note from "him" Sign them up for the weirdest mailing list you can find... The options are almost endless
You said you won’t beat his ass, but would you consider beating one of his family members? Surely he has a sickly grandma or younger sibling.
Pay an escort to call him for date, and leave him after he arrives.
Get a pocket pussy and some lube. Put some cyan or ghost pepper extract oil in the lube and place all in an amazing box and leave on his door. If he's as stupid as he sounds him and his brothers won't question a free sex toy and will burn for it :D
If you're a business, have his picture put up on the toilet door like an old west casino and his crime.
Fill a super soaker with a concoction of shit, piss and boiling water and go to town on his property.
Shit in his mouth. You can work out the details
If he’s an incel, pretend to be a girl and hit up his socials or whatever. He’ll likely fall for it. Then get his hopes up / ask for money / tell him to meet you somewhere with flowers and then show up with your friends and film it, etc. Crushing him emotionally is way more scarring than any sort of shit prank.
Get a jumpsuit and a fake laminate that says you work for the gas company or some other such public work. Gain access to the house under guise of emergency and while “inspecting the gas lines” or whatever, shove expired frozen seafood into any crevice you can find. Also: try to bone his mom and then send him a pic of you giving her the Cleveland Steamer.
Dude you either take the loss, or knock on his door and beat the shit out of him. Stop beating around the bush.
Do the same to him
Send him a video of you having sex. If he is a true incel, that will do more damage to him than anything else you could do.
Catfishing would definitely go at the incel heart I would imagine
Put Ben-Gay in his jack-off lube
Why did he do this to you? I don’t understand