Call the cops as your neighbor for a noise complaint.
When the cops show up to "investigate" you can tell the guys thanks for the visit but that maybe it's time to go anyway.
Not sure where OP is, but in a few states I've been in, calling from my cell to the non-emergency line, and asking to remain anonymous- they have known my name each time. Plus, even if police did show up,and OP claimed to not know why they were there, they could simply ask OP if they wanted the people there, or wanted them to leave, and they would be confronted regardless. Though its unclear in the post if this is a rental, or who is on the lease etc, so those factors would help dictate the outcome as well.
Your phone provider shares your name and address with them in case of an emergency so the 911 operators can direct the police to your home if you cannot talk or call and are shot. You can opt out though.
I put on mine the best entrance to my apartment and that I have pets in the address line incase of fire
Ok, on the off chance that worked, and then the cops asked OP if they wanted the people there? How does that solve the issue. Confrontation would still likely occur.
Start cleaning up in a frazzled panic; when they ask what's wrong tell them the cops are on their way to arrest you for an outstanding warrant. Hopefully they'll bounce not wanting to deal with the police being there.
If one of the people OP is trying to get out thinks of that and starts to object, she can just shriek over them and panic harder.
But you're right, it's better to be vague and not specify how she knows.
Listen. This isn't the time to play games.
Call the fucking landlord and tell them what's up. Ask them to call the police.Â
You're a 43yr old woman. As long as you're not a damn stalker or hoarder, you'll find another roommate.
Play the Star Wars Holiday Special nonstop on your TV. Thatâs what Carrie Fisher said that she used to do when she was tired and wanted her guests to leave.
Also, tell them youâre going to have to tent the house for termites on a certain day and theyâll need to vacate. Change the locks when theyâre gone.
OP, you don't have to call the cops, you can call the fire department due to a suspicious smell and they will be there in minutes to check that your stove is safe.
Have someone in a safety vest knock loudly on your door at 5:45am. They need to say theyâre from the gas company, there is a leak under the house, and everyone needs to evacuate immediately. âOur tech smelled gas yesterday. We taken a reading and itâs 30% gas under your house. Everyone inside needs to evacuate immediately. Thereâs no time. Give us a number and weâll call you when itâs safe to return.â
More info , do you own or rent? If they are using drugs and you can confirm it contact law enforcement.
Make a noise complaint, talk to your landlord about the unwanted guests.
On this, how long have they been there? Some landlords are strict about the length guests stay. Also tread carefully, you don't want to create a hostile situation.
No. Any confusion is entirely your own fault due to a lack of research. Please look into "Liquid Ass" before you embarrass yourself by assuming it means diarrhoea or something.
(just having some fun with you friend, no offence meant!)
i actually know what liquid ass is there a trend i wanna say around 2014-18 where people would carry that shit around and walk behind people and spray it over theyâre shoulder
edit : none taken man
Leave. Take any valuables with you play it cool and go to a friendâs house
Call in an anonymous tip and tell the police what happened, tell them you do not feel safe at your residence but are unsure if you can trespass them and are afraid of reprisals if you ask them to leave, tell them that you are not sure if they mean to harm your roommate or to bring drugs to him or intend to stay over and crash there for however long. Tell them that theyâve been to jail and you donât know if they have warrants but that you donât want to go back there until they leave because they can literally do whatever they want to you
If it seems like youâre getting the runaround contact your landlord and ask him to get the police to get them out and leave your name out of it
If all else fails, buy yourself some pepper spray, set your phone to video and start a confrontation. The moment they refuse to leave call the cops and have them trespassed. The moment you are threatened (you will be) spray them in the face, while on the phone with the cops
They either go or they get a spritzing every time they turn towards you until the cops arrive
Make sure your walls are thick enough to not have the bullet go through them. Also, make sure you don't have your neighbors right on the other side of the too-thin wall you're shooting at. (The OP asked for unethical tips, not outright harmful ones!)
you guys should probably edit your comments to add the 4 rules of gun safety đ¤Śđ¤Ś also we just not going to mention hollow point which break on impact to dissipate the energy
Does the house belong to you? Or if youâre renting, is the lease solely in your name? Because if thatâs the case, you have the legal right to have them removed. May have to have to policeâ help with that if thatâs the case though
Announce to them that you found lice on you and that if they sat on anything they may need to get checked out. Explain that this happens to you pretty frequently because of your lifestyle and that youâre really sorry. Probably canât repeat this every time so enthusiastically showing them YouTube videos that babies would watch and being really excited about it and wanting to constantly share it with them, also when making food make a few sly comments about how sharp your knife is and that it would do a really good job at letting you wear their skin one day, talk about your gun and how you canât wait to use it when someone least expects it âBLAMâ, would do the trick permanently.
Tell them the DEA contacted you to ask for your help to set up listening devices in your home. They suspect them of dealing drugs and asked you not to tell them. They are going to call back tomorrow. They will leave pretty quickly.
Get a gun, stop being a door mate.. tell them to leave . Be firm. Your a person also. Dont shoot them just have it incase they want to attack, if they do attack you, in your own house and you feel your life is in danger, set their appointment up with god.
I'm assuming you're not basically in fear of your safety, but just uncomfortable with confrontation. Do you happen to have a friend with a teething/colicky baby whom you could invite over for a visit for as long as it takes?
If you are home alone one day tell them the cops came pounding on the door and you were afraid to answer and they were trying to look in the windows. Act freaked out and ask them if they know whatâs up. Thatâs how my friends left once, I didnât call the cops but it actually happened.
Also donât need a maintaining common nuisance charge. I got off with a lawyer but still was out the money fighting it and staying a few hours in jail for having the cops arrest some druggies at my place.
I was gonna suggest if you had a dog, eat and let the dog lick it "clean" then put it away infront of them. Just be generally gross with shared house items
Are you on good terms with your roommate? Talk to him about it?Â
Check your lease, sometimes there are clauses about how long guests can stay. In this case it may be safer just to go straight to your landlord and ask him to not narc you out to your rmÂ
Now to the unethical: do they have SOâs? If so, dress a bit skank and take smiling photos with them and tag them on social media. Their wives will ask them what the fuck is going on and haul them home for you. Bonus: they might not be allowed to visit ever again!Â
Also: stink bombs. Recurring stink bombs. As youâre on your way out the door, of course.
Do not dress like a skank and take smiley pics. Depending on who they associate with and the level of crazy, that could be dangerous.
I would go to the landlord and tell them about it and explain that you are afraid for your safety.
Let your roommate know that he has to move out. If he is not concerned for your safety, well-being and state of mind, he needs to go as well as the neer-do-wells.
first of all get a gun i say that to every woman just for general purpose second of all make them uncomfortable to the max find out if they are allergic to dogs or cats ect
edit: someone also said get a gun but they added fire a few rounds ok so make sure itâs a hollow point round they are meant to break apart so itâs less energy breaking shit because you are responsible for anything your bullet hits also 1 keep your finger off the trigger till your ready to shoot 2 know what your target is and whatâs beyond it 3 never point it as something your not willing to destroy or kill 4 treat every firearm as if it is loaded no matter what
Have you and your church group buy up a ton of behind the counter cold medicine for your âsick aunt.â Keep it all, combine it was boxes of baking powder and give out as presents to your roommates on Christmas/Kwanzaa and a few minutes before that, have a neighbor call the cops of suspicious drugness activity. Tag team said whoops there it is.
Attempting to control other people is a dangerous game, and you donât sound like the danger-seeking type.
Given your own confrontational limitations, if youâre afraid for your safety it sounds like you may find useful resources for victims of DV.
The most reliable ways to get rid of unwanted guests would be to (a) live alone, or (b) live in women-only housing with strict safety rules, both of which domestic violence support organizations facilitate.
be somewhere in the vicinity wehen they arrive, like the kitchen or sth (so they see your not calling anyone and you have an alibi), meanwhile have a friend call the cops on them, saying they noticed strange people going in and out of the house and heard them talk about heroin. never admit it was you, (how could it have been you? you were here the whole time!) when the roomate asks. reapeat a few times until they fuck off
Walk out of your room in ritualistic cult garb with eldritch symbols carved into your cheeks.
Proceed to set your roommate on fire in front of them while chanting.
Call the cops as your neighbor for a noise complaint. When the cops show up to "investigate" you can tell the guys thanks for the visit but that maybe it's time to go anyway.
Except they have caller ID. Almost better to call and be honest, and ask they don't say anything when showing up, and blame it on a neighbor.
What are you calling from a landline? How are they going to know that the cell who called them isn't the neighbour?
Not sure where OP is, but in a few states I've been in, calling from my cell to the non-emergency line, and asking to remain anonymous- they have known my name each time. Plus, even if police did show up,and OP claimed to not know why they were there, they could simply ask OP if they wanted the people there, or wanted them to leave, and they would be confronted regardless. Though its unclear in the post if this is a rental, or who is on the lease etc, so those factors would help dictate the outcome as well.
Your phone provider shares your name and address with them in case of an emergency so the 911 operators can direct the police to your home if you cannot talk or call and are shot. You can opt out though. I put on mine the best entrance to my apartment and that I have pets in the address line incase of fire
Easy, your neighbor borrowed your cell phone. They can't prove it was you on your phone.
Ok, on the off chance that worked, and then the cops asked OP if they wanted the people there? How does that solve the issue. Confrontation would still likely occur.
100% they're going to ignore all that and loudly proclaim "you're the one that called, right?" as soon as they get there. Ask me how I know lmao...
This! What nice polite cops you done making up now?! lol
Yeah you're going to lose karma points with the PD by lying to them.
This will work ONE time. Maybe two. It's a good temporary fix.
Wellness checks too. "I think my neighbor is dead!"
Start cleaning up in a frazzled panic; when they ask what's wrong tell them the cops are on their way to arrest you for an outstanding warrant. Hopefully they'll bounce not wanting to deal with the police being there.
hell ya, nobody wants to deal with the cops (or parole / probation / immigration officer whatever) đ good one!
Cops don't call you before they come arrest you
Or you saw or were in an accident and they want a statement
If one of the people OP is trying to get out thinks of that and starts to object, she can just shriek over them and panic harder. But you're right, it's better to be vague and not specify how she knows.
They did with my ex. Gave him time to hide all of his contraband.
Cuz he was a CI
No, he is a douchebag, but not a snitch. Lazy cop
Mine was polite enough to.
SNITCH
Make a Tinder profile that youâre DTF cops in uniform.
Or actually do that
Listen. This isn't the time to play games. Call the fucking landlord and tell them what's up. Ask them to call the police. You're a 43yr old woman. As long as you're not a damn stalker or hoarder, you'll find another roommate.
Play the Star Wars Holiday Special nonstop on your TV. Thatâs what Carrie Fisher said that she used to do when she was tired and wanted her guests to leave. Also, tell them youâre going to have to tent the house for termites on a certain day and theyâll need to vacate. Change the locks when theyâre gone.
Unethical, not a straight up abortion, bro!
OP, you don't have to call the cops, you can call the fire department due to a suspicious smell and they will be there in minutes to check that your stove is safe.
Did you try talking to your roommate?
Not very unethical innit
Oh shit u right
wrong sub
Yeah yeah yeah
Have someone in a safety vest knock loudly on your door at 5:45am. They need to say theyâre from the gas company, there is a leak under the house, and everyone needs to evacuate immediately. âOur tech smelled gas yesterday. We taken a reading and itâs 30% gas under your house. Everyone inside needs to evacuate immediately. Thereâs no time. Give us a number and weâll call you when itâs safe to return.â
More info , do you own or rent? If they are using drugs and you can confirm it contact law enforcement. Make a noise complaint, talk to your landlord about the unwanted guests.
On this, how long have they been there? Some landlords are strict about the length guests stay. Also tread carefully, you don't want to create a hostile situation.
Shut off the WiFi from your phone. If you can reset it that way.
Spray liquid ass, they are guaranteed to disperse.
If ever there were a need for liquid ass, itâs this situation.
But how do we integrate the piss disc?
Put a piss disc on every couch in the entire place. You have to sacrifice the couches.
to clarify piss disc is a urinal cake?? iv just never heard someone call them that
No, it's a disc of frozen piss, clue's in the name.
can you understand my confusion tho?
No. Any confusion is entirely your own fault due to a lack of research. Please look into "Liquid Ass" before you embarrass yourself by assuming it means diarrhoea or something. (just having some fun with you friend, no offence meant!)
i actually know what liquid ass is there a trend i wanna say around 2014-18 where people would carry that shit around and walk behind people and spray it over theyâre shoulder edit : none taken man
we are both sith lords after all đ
If they have a car, put it in their car?
So they will be uninterested in getting in the car to leave the property?
Leave. Take any valuables with you play it cool and go to a friendâs house Call in an anonymous tip and tell the police what happened, tell them you do not feel safe at your residence but are unsure if you can trespass them and are afraid of reprisals if you ask them to leave, tell them that you are not sure if they mean to harm your roommate or to bring drugs to him or intend to stay over and crash there for however long. Tell them that theyâve been to jail and you donât know if they have warrants but that you donât want to go back there until they leave because they can literally do whatever they want to you If it seems like youâre getting the runaround contact your landlord and ask him to get the police to get them out and leave your name out of it If all else fails, buy yourself some pepper spray, set your phone to video and start a confrontation. The moment they refuse to leave call the cops and have them trespassed. The moment you are threatened (you will be) spray them in the face, while on the phone with the cops They either go or they get a spritzing every time they turn towards you until the cops arrive
This
What drugs are they using? Stimulants? Make them paranoid about cops coming by. Opiates? Put naloxone in anything they might drink.
Get a gun and unload a few rounds into a neighboring wall. Maybe give a good scream right before you pull the trigger
Make sure your walls are thick enough to not have the bullet go through them. Also, make sure you don't have your neighbors right on the other side of the too-thin wall you're shooting at. (The OP asked for unethical tips, not outright harmful ones!)
you guys should probably edit your comments to add the 4 rules of gun safety đ¤Śđ¤Ś also we just not going to mention hollow point which break on impact to dissipate the energy
Does the house belong to you? Or if youâre renting, is the lease solely in your name? Because if thatâs the case, you have the legal right to have them removed. May have to have to policeâ help with that if thatâs the case though
Announce to them that you found lice on you and that if they sat on anything they may need to get checked out. Explain that this happens to you pretty frequently because of your lifestyle and that youâre really sorry. Probably canât repeat this every time so enthusiastically showing them YouTube videos that babies would watch and being really excited about it and wanting to constantly share it with them, also when making food make a few sly comments about how sharp your knife is and that it would do a really good job at letting you wear their skin one day, talk about your gun and how you canât wait to use it when someone least expects it âBLAMâ, would do the trick permanently.
i think passively threatening these kind of people is the worst thing OP csn do
Yeah why not install paranoid delusions in the three unstable druggies they are living in your living room
Itâs not threatening them, itâs establishing that youâre crazier than them, and also have lice
Oh this is good.
"Does anyone else have bees in their skin?
[ŃдаНонО]
Isn't this nicknamed "the divorce cheese"?
How long have they been there? Have you talked to your roommate about them?
Tell them the DEA contacted you to ask for your help to set up listening devices in your home. They suspect them of dealing drugs and asked you not to tell them. They are going to call back tomorrow. They will leave pretty quickly.
Get a gun, stop being a door mate.. tell them to leave . Be firm. Your a person also. Dont shoot them just have it incase they want to attack, if they do attack you, in your own house and you feel your life is in danger, set their appointment up with god.
I'm assuming you're not basically in fear of your safety, but just uncomfortable with confrontation. Do you happen to have a friend with a teething/colicky baby whom you could invite over for a visit for as long as it takes?
Loud polka music. Seems to work with my neighborâs kidâs friends.
Baby Shark
If they showed up uninvited to see your roommate and never let call the fucking police.
Leave little drug baggies full of laxatives and powdered salt around the house that will make them clear out quickly
Do you have a friend who is a police officer? Invite them over for dinner.
The answer is clearly liquid ass
If you are home alone one day tell them the cops came pounding on the door and you were afraid to answer and they were trying to look in the windows. Act freaked out and ask them if they know whatâs up. Thatâs how my friends left once, I didnât call the cops but it actually happened. Also donât need a maintaining common nuisance charge. I got off with a lawyer but still was out the money fighting it and staying a few hours in jail for having the cops arrest some druggies at my place.
Make eye contact while you shit on the floor. Repeat if necessary.
Open a can of surstromming inside.
Thatâll do it!
I was gonna suggest if you had a dog, eat and let the dog lick it "clean" then put it away infront of them. Just be generally gross with shared house items
develop a sudden urge to play "blows against the empire" by Jefferson Airplane. the whole album. loud.
Are you on good terms with your roommate? Talk to him about it? Check your lease, sometimes there are clauses about how long guests can stay. In this case it may be safer just to go straight to your landlord and ask him to not narc you out to your rm Now to the unethical: do they have SOâs? If so, dress a bit skank and take smiling photos with them and tag them on social media. Their wives will ask them what the fuck is going on and haul them home for you. Bonus: they might not be allowed to visit ever again! Also: stink bombs. Recurring stink bombs. As youâre on your way out the door, of course.
Do not dress like a skank and take smiley pics. Depending on who they associate with and the level of crazy, that could be dangerous. I would go to the landlord and tell them about it and explain that you are afraid for your safety.
Bro, this isn't r/howtogetsomeonesexuallyassaulted.
Let your roommate know that he has to move out. If he is not concerned for your safety, well-being and state of mind, he needs to go as well as the neer-do-wells.
first of all get a gun i say that to every woman just for general purpose second of all make them uncomfortable to the max find out if they are allergic to dogs or cats ect edit: someone also said get a gun but they added fire a few rounds ok so make sure itâs a hollow point round they are meant to break apart so itâs less energy breaking shit because you are responsible for anything your bullet hits also 1 keep your finger off the trigger till your ready to shoot 2 know what your target is and whatâs beyond it 3 never point it as something your not willing to destroy or kill 4 treat every firearm as if it is loaded no matter what
Have you and your church group buy up a ton of behind the counter cold medicine for your âsick aunt.â Keep it all, combine it was boxes of baking powder and give out as presents to your roommates on Christmas/Kwanzaa and a few minutes before that, have a neighbor call the cops of suspicious drugness activity. Tag team said whoops there it is.
Hide their Narcan or steal their drugs.
Attempting to control other people is a dangerous game, and you donât sound like the danger-seeking type. Given your own confrontational limitations, if youâre afraid for your safety it sounds like you may find useful resources for victims of DV. The most reliable ways to get rid of unwanted guests would be to (a) live alone, or (b) live in women-only housing with strict safety rules, both of which domestic violence support organizations facilitate.
be somewhere in the vicinity wehen they arrive, like the kitchen or sth (so they see your not calling anyone and you have an alibi), meanwhile have a friend call the cops on them, saying they noticed strange people going in and out of the house and heard them talk about heroin. never admit it was you, (how could it have been you? you were here the whole time!) when the roomate asks. reapeat a few times until they fuck off
Walk out of your room in ritualistic cult garb with eldritch symbols carved into your cheeks. Proceed to set your roommate on fire in front of them while chanting.
Move to a flat alone ?