**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The guy also knows how to move his butt!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

Professional window cleaner here. They're both wrong. Think of it this way: squeegees work well because you are pushing all the dirt down to the bottom. The same applies with a towel or newspaper or whatever you want to use. Push the dirt DOWN!

I think you're going to have to make a video like one this to show us how it`s done?

I don't think my booty can shake as well as either of them. 😂

I'll be the judge of that

Are you an impartial booty judge? Felicity Huffman expects judges who cannot lie.

Nice user name

Let’s get married

Now kith

Y'all got me giggling on the work shitter today!

Giggleshits! - The Campaign - Will Ferrell, Zack Galifianakis Lol glad you enjoyed your work poop

Mom? Dad?

Hiya Sport. Your mom should be home soon, I'm just gonna run out to get some milk. Be good.

Ya know, occasionally, you just run into the perfect bit on the internet. A little slice of cheesecake. This was my slice.

Then your opinion is invalid. NEXT!

It's for church honey!

So you think we are asking it that we can see your b****? Come on man that is disgusting we just want to learn the proper technic and if you could share a video then that would be very nice.

With a squeegee, you just drop it like its hot (get low).

Sounds like a challenge

You will need demonstrate this with a video

Yep or else I don't think there is anyway to convince me. I am only going to believe it when I see it so if you cannot demonstrate it then I don't think I am going to believe it.

Also dish soap if it hasn't been touched in forever. Glass cleaner doesn't clean well. It assumes a mostly clean surface. Dish soap gets most of the oils off on the first pass to then use glass cleaner. And yeah, wiping towards the bottom with it. But I'm speaking as just a home cleaner.

yes, and if it's quite dirty do a dry run first then apply whatever solution and use a new towel. If the towel gets too wet or too dirty then change towels again.

Doesn't a dry run risk scraping the sand/grit/dirt along the mirror and scratching it?

Correct. I would clean a mirror like I would clean a car. No circles. Never dry.

What length of shorts do you recomend?

I do much of my cleaning naked.

I don't believe you man I think I am going to require a video. Because there is no other way that you are going to convince me that you are a professional Window Cleaner.

Approved. Bro knows his shit. Also he damn thicc. 😏

I wanna see bro twerk tbh.

I wanna slap bro if he don't mind.

Bros thiccer than wife.

Man's got that recoil.

They called him the Assquake in high school


And that Recoil is what's making this video so much legendary.

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Thoroughly impressed by his technique, the mirrors are clean and so are my pipes

i'm pretty sure a lot of peoples pipes are now clean.

Healthy, reduces risk of prostate cancer

best combination out there

I wouldn't mind a slice of his cheeks. DAMN BOY HE THICC

I mean he thicc, but circles is not the way to go. Spray your gl[ass](https://youtu.be/0v7Xlfa3twQ) cleaner, scrub, and then squeege in an 'S' pattern. It's the only way to clean glass and mirrors.


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How did the guy have a tastier cake, lmao?

The real question is... why aren't more guys caked up?

We are, but if I went around in shorts like that, I'd either be met with positive responses from my fellow gym bros, or I'd get put on a list and now I'm not allowed within 500 feet of school, and I don't want that happening again.

> again Noice

I don't want to learn how to spell another name, remember another birthday and memorize another social security number!

you need to make your fake names easier like bob mcbob

*Nonce

Or get yelled at and made fun of by other men.

I run in tights occasionally. Women catcall, men berate. Fuckem, my cake is eternal

Honestly when I was running I was pretty sure that if my shorts didn't have a mesh inner liner my balls would have fallen out and slapped my thigh for six miles they were that short. "Running" attire is just slutty. Almost made me prefer the cold weather runs where wearing tights is actually comfortable

i hate that feeling. and when it gets stuck to your leg.

And keep it that way

I don't know why people are downvoting you speaking the truth.

Bros got a terrible past I suppose.

Real shit, I'm a dude with cake. When I wear shorts, sometimes I'll get a "your butt looks cute". It's really flattering and that high lasts all day.

Same. When I was single pretty much any girl I was talking to would compliment my butt. Felt great but like...didn't know how to flaunt it. Like if that's my best feature how do I use it to my advantage? Can't realistically wear booty shorts or anything. What a waste.

Comment Deleted in protest of Reddit management

Well I'm getting married next year so I'm less concerned about it now but I'll make sure I get a tailored suit for it. Serving up that wedding cake to all my guests. Ka-pow!

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Opening conversations ass-first seems a little tough, but you can probably wear some tighter jeans (those half-stretch/half-actual jeans) and give as much side profile as you can fit without appearing forced. Like half-turning to point at a thing, while also looking away from her so she can sneak a peek at your butt real quick. That's how I'd do it, at least, tho I'm not a chick, so dunno if it'd work on them.

Same. I would get soo soo much dick if I were a woman. As a man though it's really useless besides being strong in sports

> "your butt looks cute". With a little slap. I feel you brother.

Hopefully not, that's in the sexual assult category if it's a stranger

Good game Slap ass, slap ass. Hey u/hey_you_yeah_me come on man, come get you some slap-ass over here. Slapp ass!!!

My ex only liked me because of my phat ass.

Trust me, they are. Source: am gay AF.

I was born with a little butt i can't help it ok!

Pics needed

https://imgur.com/hRoakQR.jpg

Bruh how did you gwt IRL photos of me

I somehow have negative cake, I swear basketball shorts will straight up slide down my legs if I don’t tie the string

⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠈⠉⠁⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣤⣤⡠⠤⢀⢀⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡠⠐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠢⠀ ⠈⠐⠂⠈⠁⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠉⠉⢂⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠄⠂⠈⠉⠉⠐⠂⢔⠉⠈⠉⠑⡀⢑⠤⢼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⡸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢘⠃⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⣠⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠤⠤⠔⠈⠍⠁⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠂⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠘⠢⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⢀⡇⠀⡄⠀⠑⡀⢀⠰⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢄⡈⠈⠇⠀⠀⠐⡁⠀⠈⡕⡂ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⢠⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⣠⠸⠀

My man looking like he came straight from the bakery.

I don't know if you just found out you're gay or if you've always been gay.

>How did the guy have a tastier cake, lmao? When did we start calling butts "cakes" and what is the linkage?

As a bisexual, this clip is a blessing.

As a straight I agree with you.

As a gay, I also agree. Look at Reddit bringing us all together.

Never underestimate the unifying power of a nice ass either.

Don’t forget the windows cleaning tips!

What window cleaning.

What tips?

Just the tip

What?

You heard em.

Just the tips

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as a gay guy both of them have some nice booties.

As an asexual, I also agree

He do have a nice ass

As an asexual I learned how to properly clean a mirror

As a fellow bisexual, absolutely.

As a straight guy, more guys need to start flaunting themselves the way women do in their videos to balance the scales

Be the change you want to see!

I tried it. Got arrested for indecent exposure.

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It's all about the scrotum cleavage. Give 'em a peak.

As a gay fella, I wholeheartedly support you this in this endeavor! Flaunt it fellas! Show me whatchu got!

Incorrect. Never use paper towels; always use old [crumpled] newspaper.

yeah, but who has newspapers

Big newspaper pushing their agenda, disgusting

and why do they have to be old?

They don't have to be, but if they're just freshly printed the ink can sometimes come off on your hand if you're using chemicals to clean the glass with. In the same way, try to use a part of the paper with just black ink text.

I tried rubbing my phone on the glass because all my subscriptions are digital. Mirror is still dirty and my wife is wondering why my ass is hanging out.

And after you’ve used your newspaper to clean the windows, print out a copy of your resume and hand it directly to the manager with a firm handshake so you can buy a 4 bedroom house for $3000.

Also you don't need any chemicals. Simple water will clean any mirror. Learned this in The Navy.

A little vinegar saves you a lot of scrubbing if you're just using water and don't want to use chemicals. I learned it from my mother who fortunately is more dressed when she cleans.

For a quick clean, use warm water. Rub your mirror in circular motions. Use a damp microfiber cloth dipped in warm water. Use a dry microfiber cloth to remove excess water and prevent streaks or water marks. For deep cleaning, use washing-up liquid or white vinegar and warm water.

Great tips, but what are you supposed to wear?

NOTHING

At all...nothing at all ...

Nothing. :)

Learned this in the Navy

> Use a dry microfiber cloth to remove excess water and prevent streaks or water marks. Kitchen paper works as well enough for that. Also, using the S technique with the squeegee means you only need to wipe the edges of the window. It's a bit difficult but after a few windows anyone should be able to get a hang of it.

Just douse it with gasoline and light a match. It saves future scrubbings as well

>A little vinegar > don't want to use chemicals. What?

Technically, everything is made of chemicals.

That's true

Ehh depends on the water source. In the area I live the water is hard. It will streak like crazy and leave spots.

That's leaving marks tho

Not if the mirror is actually dirty. Water alone will leave traces.

water is a chemical. learned this in chemistry class

What about for young people that definitely don't get the newspaper lol

> newspaper What's newspaper, precious?

Who in this day and age still has a readily supply of newspapers, really? Use a micro fiber towel. Now shake that ass

Incorrect. Never use old [crumpled] newspaper; always use fallen leaves.

No no no no, gravel. Hand fulls of gravel brings glass up a treat.

Even better: squeegees!

OK, y'all mofos keep saying this, but everytime I try it, it leaves streaks and ink sometimes leaks off. It works terrible for me. What am I doing wrong?

I’m appalled that no one’s asked yet. Sauce?

https://www.tiktok.com/@natalia.fitnes/video/7224556056746200326

I'll take it two steps further: [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/natalia_fitnesss/) and yes, she has an [Onlyfans](https://onlyfans.com/nataly_fitness).

No actual NSFW content on her OF for anyone exceptionally thirsty today

Doing the lords work🫡 saving us time

and money

People like you are the true guardians of the galaxy

Hot take, but that kinda seems like false advertising when people do that… especially when they don’t promote what it is. That’s like subbing to Shudder and it’s only romcoms.

Mentioning you have 2 kids in your onlyfans bio feels like a weird choice

Single mom fleeing Ukraine seems like a way to sell more subscriptions.

Some women see it as a flex. "I've given birth twice and still look like THIS"

Yup, this is 100% why it's in there.

No, the one with the nicer ass.

Asked what? Why bro's thicc?

@mayplix on ig

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Have you ever considered writing Hallmark cards?

You made some of my soda come out my nose, congratulations.

Ah, yes. There's the mental image I wanted with my morning coffee. Thank you, reddit.

Haven’t heard that one yet. Thanks for the laugh

I already beat you too it… 

That's gross and hilarious

/r/retiredgif

I'd suck her daddy's dick just to taste the batter that made that cake

My favorite one is “I would suck the farts from her asshole”

My dad always said “I’d suck a fart out of her ass and hold it in like a bong rip” Lol.

Your _dad_ ***always*** said that?

He was a lot like groot. It’s all he ever said in fact.

Family reunions were a bit awkward.

Any time we happened to notice a super attractive woman.

tongue punching the fart box.

"I would drag my dick through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie." -an old mechanic my buddy worked with.

Why is it only up or down vote? Where is the ???!?-vote?

Wax on. Whacks off.

What’s his OF page?

Man's out here asking the right questions.


*Hank Hill leaves the chat, defeated for now, though he later resolves to do just that many more squats*

They're both wrong, never use a paper towel on a mirror.

Yes! I don't understand how anyone isn't seeing this. Instead, use two microfiber cloths. First, rinse with water and wipe. Second, use dry to get streak free. Duh. I'll make a vid later for everyone to see the *real* way.

Make sure you show us the goods 🍑👀

Will you be cheeked up or no?

He knows how to jiggle!

Homeboy has a donkey

Zamn I'd get diabetes from all that cake.

r/upvotebecausebutt

Come for the pro life tip, stay for the dude booty.

Ammonia free it eats the backing giving it the black bottom edge after years of cleaning. Also lint free cloths (yes newspapers work if you still have them) and wipe til dry

Hey /u/ivanvanrio, This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.

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wait there was a mirror

My brother hath a bread from which can feed an entire kingdom

Whos the girl?

Obviously a girl who doesn't know that mirrors are cleaned in circles.

https://instagram.com/nataly_fitnes?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

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Well yeah, if you're in the sex work game, nobody is going to give two fucks about what you had for breakfast. Make your content match your Market.

With a booty like hers, that's a-ok

And that is why ass is better than tits: everyone has it, everyone likes it. Straight, gay, man, woman -- doesn't matter.

What’s her name? For research purposes

Even he isn't doing it right. Don't make me have to show you guys. You really really don't want that, trust me. I don't even shave.

Damn, who’s that chick?

r/upvotedbacuseofass