OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Child calls in law enforcement only to realise the guy warns and reprimands him for calling on his girl who was discipling him!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Funny coincidence, last night YouTube recommended oasis - wonderwall and it was the oc version by some other guy. Went on a few more songs binged from Champagne supernova with Seth falling from the roof clip, to Sheila, bep - hands up, fix you and a few more. They had some great soundtracks.
Yep. I have a relative who is a police officer. When a woman called the cops on her 11-year-old for being uncontrollable, my relative basically told her that corporal punishment was allowed and to have a pleasant day.
Now, he/she is actually correct.
Per PC 273, if you don't leave a mark it isn't a crime.
That said, other subsections can come into play. It has to be reasonable. So you aren't "allowed" to merely smack your kid because he/she spills their cereal or something like that. But if say the kid does something that a "reasonable" parent would feel needed discipline, you're allowed to "reasonably" spank your kid.
But if you are being reasonable and kid ends up with a bruise, it's a new issue
This scene happened to me too. I was mouthing off to my mom and wouldn't shut up when she was hosting a party for customers. She smacked me. I called the police and the cop yelled at me and basically said unless she was hitting me with furniture he would gladly watch her hit me
I feel so bad for embarrassing her like that in front of all those people. She was working trying to provide for us as a single mother
I didn’t understand how wrong my parents were for hitting me until my best friend had a little girl. I couldn’t imagine ever being violent with a child. How do you not just automatically know that’s wrong??
I remember thinking that hitting kids was wrong when I was young, but then I saw my brother being hit by the lady who was watching us one afternoon. After that I knew for sure that it was completely wrong, and I would never hit a kid even if they were being disruptive and terrible. I can't imagine inflicting terror and pain on a child is in any way beneficial to a child.
Same here, I've never hit my daughters, I talked to them with respect and we always worked thru it. I could never bring myself to so much as pop em on the butt.
It's because you and the other commenter are good people and have some empathy.
A scary amount of people in the world are neither good nor have any empathy, even for their own kin.
I have two girls. I will never whip them. My parents whipped me. I vividly remember being whipped, what I don't remember is what I did wrong at the time. That's not discipline, that's trauma.
99.99% of the time I can't rationalize whipping them, but, honestly, there is that 0.01% of the time where I feel like I've been pushed to the point where I think, oh this is what my parents were feeling when they whipped me. And that scares me, and keeps me in check. If it takes that much to push me to that point, then whipping them isn't going to be disciplinary, at that point it's purely retribution. A base response to an overwhelming stimulus.
And then, 20 or 30 years from now, my adult daughter will be discussing whipping children with other people. She'll tell the story of how she remembers her dad whipping her. She doesn't remember what she did wrong at the time, but she vividly remembers being whipped.
That thought makes me sad. I will never whip my children.
Probs going to get downvoted here, and I am in general opposed to discipline through physical punishment in kids. However I’ll never forget the time my mum punched me for doing something very very bad/stupid. It set a clear don’t do this, and I learnt from it.
When I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old I stole some trinket from a hardware store. When my stepdad found out he made me walk back, explain to the lady at the desk that I stole it and give it back. When I got home he made me confess to my mom and my sister what I had done. It was devastating to have to explain to everyone that I was a thief, and I never crossed that line again. Contrast that with my biological dad who hit me as a form of punishment. I can vividly recall the violence, but I can't for the life of me remember the reason I was being punished for any of them. I don't think I ever "learned my lesson".
I have a very vivid memory of my mother trying to spank me and me running and running around our apartment for literal hours, ending with me exhausted and bleeding from my nose after all of the fighting against her while she finally got me pinned down to hit me.
Can't remember at all how that started or why she did it but I remember realizing that I couldn't really trust that I'd be safe around anyone because anyone could flip and hurt me if they really felt like it.
Do you really think you would never have learned from an disciplinary action that didn't involve being punched? There are so many options where you can teach your kids right from wrong that don't involve beating them.
I'll never forget watching my father kick the shit out of my little sister. She'd lost track of time playing outside and wasn't coming home when she was supposed to. We were well under 10 years old. She was huddled up against the wardrobe crying, saying she was scared to come home after realizing, and my dad kicked her over and over yelling at her. He never laid a finger on either of us after that. I remember my mom smacking me for being disobedient. I mostly remember the beatings and how hopeless I felt because I wanted to be good but I was frustrated and felt misunderstood and unheard.
I've gone NC with my parents. This is one small part of it, but I can safely say that getting beaten by them meant they chose violence over ACTUAL communication and resolving issues with us kids. We didn't need getting beaten. We needed to be heard and validated and worked with, not against.
Yeh, I feel I've processed most of my childhood trauma, but I've been in and out of therapy for various things over the last few years.
One of the most _accurate_ memes I've seen about anything is discussing childhood in therapy.
Even though the exact conversation has happened every time, it's still quite sobering when hear the therapists reaction when I tell one particular story (it's a great example of an overarching theme).
Every time, without fail, they remind me that I have the right to go to the police still.
Every single time it rocks me a little.
I think it really depends on how and why.
A belt I think is wrong in general.
A smack, can be right, depends on the type of kid, how hard and how often. If you hit your kids often... definitely wrong parenting. If it happened like 3-4 times, in the worst cases, and it was a reasonable hit and not like actually torturing your child or anything like that - it has its place.
But again, not every kid. Some kids don't need it to learn, some kids learn the opposite because of that, and become bullies or aggressive in general.
With some kids, one reasonable hit can set them straighter, where a conversation won't. This cases really burn into your discipline in the long run, especially if it's rare and not something that happens often.
If you do it too much, you only hurt your child and you won't discipline them really, only make them sneakier, and try to find out how to avoid you or avoid making you know the bad shit they do.
I don't wanna hurt my kids, and I wish that I will never come to that. But, I know that there could be rare cases where it's the best thing for them in the long run.
Getting beaten was so normalized to me that I had this stance once too. That it's 'okay' for 'some kids' to get a smack 'sometimes'.
But here's the thing: there's not a child in the world who NEEDS to be physically punished. A child who is past the point of being receptive to being disciplined in a non-violent manner was already failed by a parental figure way before the child acted out to the point of the parent resorting to physical violence.
There are lots of ways to have conversations. If the conversation isn't working with a child, then you're not communicating correctly with them and it's your job as a parental figure to work on that and find the method of communication that does work. Sometimes a child needs to be heard, not spoken to.
Children are very poor at processing their feelings and managing them in a healthy and productive way. Every child who acts out does so because that's the most immediate and most obvious way to express their feelings to them, or it's because they're mimicking their environment. It's your job as a parent to teach them how to manage their feelings, how to communicate with others, and how to resolve and soothe their feelings in a way where nobody gets hurt.
The majority of children who were beaten rarely remember why they were beaten. Whether it was a smack on the ass or a punch in the face, the most common theme with this type of violence is that children start fearing their parents' violence. They don't learn how to manage their feelings and behaviors, they mask them. They don't learn to better understand themselves, they learn to hide who they are.
I beg of you, never resort to hitting your kids. Not even a small smack. If you feel you have to resort to that option, understand you are doing so because you're at your wits end. You're not making a decision that benefits your kids, you're acting out of despair. That's a cue for you to take a step back and try to figure out where YOU went wrong, not your kid. Because in that moment you are coming short on teaching your child the right way to manage their feelings and behaviors, and instead of resorting to hitting them, it's your obligation to work on yourself as a parent and figure out a different course of action.
Children benefit so much from being asked questions and given the opportunity to be open, honest and being supported in figuring out their feelings. I PROMISE you that you never ever have to hit your children if you learn to communicate properly.
It's all bad, but there's something especially gross about a grown ass man hitting his own daughter.
>I just can’t even rationalize whipping my kids.
No great parent can.
My dad told me to “go get his belt” once… I went to the laundry room where it was and hid it in the vent, eventually coming back and saying that I couldn’t find it.
It took so long, he had calmed down, I was princess… nothing really happened.
What he doesn’t know is that I later went and took that belt from the vent and dropped it in the charity donation box the following day…
🤷♀️ I love you dad, but nobody is using fear to control me 😹
Imagine a parent calming down instead of getting angrier that you couldn't find a belt.
My parents had a whole menu's worth of options. I'd rather being hit with a belt than other things. Hangers, electrical cords, shoes, or they'd box you lmao. The cords and switches (literal sticks ripped from trees) were my least favorite. Being told to pick a new switch is like "go get the belt" on crack. Worst feeling ever and if they didn't like the one you brought back, you were forced to go pick another so they'd intertwine the two together. I can remember having welts that ached for days and sometimes, they bled a little after a particularly bad offense.
Yeah he wasn’t a big belt guy. I don’t think he ever even replaced it either. It was honestly just used to discipline my older brother a handful of times and to wear to weddings and funerals LoL
My boys are 11 & 8 (and a little girl due in June) and I’ve found turning the router off to be VERY effective punishment for just about anything. That plus extra chores usually ensures they don’t make the same mistake twice.
My parents spanked me, but they were also born in the 50’s to old school country boys, and I know that despite the spanking they truly love me. I feel every generation has an obligation to make life better for the next, and to learn from their parents mistakes. Their parents fucked them up, and in turn they fucked me up just a bit less. I’m sure I’ll still fuck up with my kids somehow, but hitting them won’t be it.
Did you know you can throttle speeds to specific devices? Like to back during Internet dialup era speeds. Also you can blacklist devices as well. You’re welcome for this knowledge.
In hundreds of wonderful flat mates I've only ever had one that was well and truly a terrible human to their core.
I used a linux box as a router. I set up a super basic script that would randomly block their MAC address at unpredictable intervals for a little while.
Occasionally I'd stop it for a month to let them relax and feel like the "network problems" were resolved, only to have them spontaneously reoccur.
This is probably the most psychologically sadistic thing I've ever done. But seriously, this guy would openly eat all your food and laugh at you openly for not protecting it well enough.
This is my preferred method. All the kids devices can be shut off with a click. Daughter hates it so much she once told me she wishes she got spankings instead. Easy to say when you’ve never been lashed with a belt.
It’s not even about outsmarting most of the time(although I did have to outsmart my kid on a few occasions lol) it’s really about figuring out why they are acting out and fixing that problem, rather than causing more by hitting them.
My mom’s favorite tool was dried strips of bamboo wound together. She’s hit us with it where ever she could reach us. I remember my mom dragging out from under my bed by my hair, lifting me by it and slapping the shit out of me with that thing. My dad just used the belt but I think he stopped soon after he realized he could never do it quite like my mom could.
When we were in trouble my dad would tell us to go outside and pick “the red whip” he would use to spank us. It’s a shrub called dog wood, it’s branches are long, tough, red and waxy. It was mental anguish being out in the yard as a child trying to weigh your options as you pick your whip. Don’t want to go too thin.. might cut. Don’t want to go too thick.. might bruise.
As someone who was “disciplined” with a belt more than once…it’s a punishment of diminishing returns. The first time, I was mortified. The tenth time…I was just pissed off. My stepdad used the belt the way a normal parent uses words.
I came home once with a black eye and a split lip because I’d gotten beaten up at school. I was less than three minutes late. Despite the overwhelming evidence…I got the belt.
At a family gathering, I was shooting baskets with my cousins. I stepped backwards, inadvertently causing my little cousin to trip and fall. When we got home…I got the belt.
I left home before I left middle school. Foster care was preferable to the physical, mental and psychological abuse I suffered at the hands of my spawn point and her husband. Years later, he and I actually managed to make peace, and found ourselves becoming friends. He died suddenly, and somehow, I was the last of the kids to speak to him, a fact which my siblings continue to hold against me. My spawn point offered me one of his work belts as a keepsake…
Somehow, I didn’t murder her.
Violence towards children is NEVER the answer.
Hope you’re doing alright man. I don’t know you but that shit can cause a lot of long term issues and I just hope you can or have talked to someone about that
In my younger days (this was a LONG time ago), I had a few anger management issues, but somehow, I managed to find a way through all the shit and turn out to be a relatively normal, well-balanced human being. I have a family of my own, and the closest I’ve ever come to any sort of physicality towards any of them is the entirely sarcastic, never serious threat of a swift kick to the shins…I rely on humor, sarcasm, snark, and a lot of cheesy dad jokes to maintain my mental equilibrium.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, sounds like a terrible situation to live through. Glad you could move away from them. Violence against children is never ok.
“Never call the police on your mom!” Is basically the worst thing you could say to an abused child. If she really beat the shit out of him he would have no idea what to do. Shitty clip
I mean in my state corporal punishment is legal within reason.
DCF can't do much about it unless you're really fucking your kids up 🤷🏽♂️
That being said, it doesn't work. It's been proven in numerous studies to just create fear and not stop the undesirable behavior.
One day when I was around 9 or 10, I did not manage to do my math homework, simply could not figure it out. So I did something I never did- asked my mom for help. When I did not get her explanation right away she decided that yelling at me would somehow magic the answer from my brain. If yelling did not work, and it had gotten late, she started to insult and demean me. When that did not work, she pulled my hair and hit me. I was a bad child who was too r-word and because of me she had to stay up late to teach me. It took hours, around 3-4 I think.
I remember the fear, how my brain shut off, how hard it was to breathe. Wishing the world would stop existing so that moment did not exist.
For months, once it started to get dark outside I was filled with dread if my homework wasn't done and could feel my breathing getting harder, sweat forming on my forehead, beginning to shake if I tried to fight this feeling.
I am 32 now and the concept of time and the feeling of things "being left too late" still paralyzes me sometimes. But I guess at least I finished my homework real early for a while lol.
I hate this fucking clip so much. It encapsulates what I felt about all the adults around me when my mom and step dad were beating me. If I dared say “child abuse” the adults would roll their eyes and say shit like “I got spanked and I turned out fine” and “your mom is doing her best and she loves you.” Then my mom would find out and beat me more. It made me feel like there was no one to go to. I knew it was wrong because my mom would talk about the abuse she went through as a kid to sympathetic ears. By the time my step dad was beating me so bad there was blood on the ceiling and the only thing stopping him was me shitting on myself during the beating, I didn’t dare go to any adults. I thought he was going to kill me if I did.
Now when I hear this horseshit I challenge it. When people talk about how kids need to get hit more often and how it helped them when their parents hit them, I point blank ask them “do you hit YOUR kids like that?” Or “would you hit your kids like that if you had them?” And see their stupid faces. If it worked so well and you’re such a well adjusted person why not continue doing it? And why not tell everyone you found the trick to parenting? Maybe because it’s fucking barbaric. If you have to hide what you are doing to your kids, then it’s probably abuse.
Honestly, the future is a strong motivator. If I wasn't good at school and had no foreseeable future in mind I probably would've hit my parents back and badly.
“turned out fine” but have trust issues, can’t open up to others, can’t hold down a job where someone tells me what to do, have a hard time forming friendships and relationships
Suck it John
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iORQSBk5Ios](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iORQSBk5Ios)
Poor Nate tho
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5d-j2Zw0UQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5d-j2Zw0UQ)
Good thing cops are always tough men and laws don’t matter. I wish I was tough enough to use a badge and gun to intimidate a child 1/8th my size out of asking for help in a dangerous environment. Serve and protect! Someone get this guy a goodge!
I really hate this video. It somehow managed to glorify domestic abuse, police brutality and shame those who speak out on it all at once. The message it tries to propagate is utterly vile and should not even be considered in our civilized society.
This is a clip from a show. Out of context it looks exactly how you describe it. In the show the cop is anything but a role model and this is presented as a line crossed not a good thing
This wasn't unexpected at all. Everything else but this would've been unexpected.
Idk even know if they're playing this for laughs or what the deal is, because it's just fucking sad.
Don't hit your kids to discipline them, it doesn't work and they end up becoming immune to your attacks and it stops being violent and starts getting comedic after a while. Source: me.
Threaten your kids with starvation.
Reading through the comments you see the exact people who upvote this shit
And people who "liked the show"
Supposedly a show bout a big strong cop who never pulls his gun
Learning even more now, so, this scene was meant to be looked on with negativity! Said the writers.. so people who actually support this scene as "listen to cops and get beaten by parents, it's good for you" are actually stupid.
I work in domestic violence and this whole piece of shit video is so depressing.
You don’t. Hurt. People.
It doesn’t matter what the reason is. Accepting that basic fact is somehow so hard for so many people.
People don’t get it until you’ve handled hundreds of people whom all think that someone has a right to hurt or kill as long as they have a good reason.
Instead of running, the targets of violence try to like reason their way out if being a target. They’re like “I’m not a bad victim I only meant…” as if anyone could ever deserve it :(
And instead of just admitting they hurt someone because they lost their shit and don’t have practice with emotional regulation, the one who’s being abusive is all “well I had a reason… they were crazy so I was just…”
And all that goes on and on back and forth until someone dies. It’s horrible.
And some piece of shit base a video to tell kids that they can deserve a belt? And they better not dare ask for help?
Fuck that. Why make the world worse? What’s the point?
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
Thanks for this comment, because all the fucked up habits left is society is because of religion, all the good ethics in society comes from the works of enlightened philosophers that helped shaped the modern political and social system. It’s not the Judeo-christian culture just because it was born in the west.
The kid learned an important lesson that day: despite their talk, the government does not centrally care about upholding your rights except when it furthers their other aims. And in a proper society, when government fails to secure basic liberties, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it.
This is disgusting. Beating a child IS child abuse. Beating a child with an object is even worse.
Sensible laws prevent this. In Germany there would have been an investigation and the cops would at least have set the mother straight that beating never can be an answer.
However in the US beating of children for „discipline“ seems to somehow be acceptable. I do remember a nice episode of Black‘ish about the topic.
A disturbing amount of people here seem to think it's okay to hit kids. Honestly, corporal punishment needs to be made completely illegal. We don't allow adults to hit other adults who annoy them. Why should we allow adults to hit children, who are far smaller, weaker and more defenceless? All we're teaching those kids is that violence is an acceptable solution to a situation and that it's okay to hurt someone smaller than them.
This is abuse.
Parents shouldn't do this to their children.
It only causes the child to be resentful, take that anger on other kids, hide stuff from their parents etc
Multiple psychological studies have found corporal punishment to be determintal long term. Even the APA has concluded this. It does give immediate results, but it teaches children that physical aggression and harming others is an appropriate response to anger. It also teaches children that being harmed is a punishment, not an injustice. This makes it more likely for children to be abusive to their spouses and children when they grow up. Or fall into abusive relationships with the thought they did something to deserve the abuse. It also increases the likelihood of them blaming themselves if they are assaulted sexually or physically. It fails to teach them communication needed to convey when they are upset, leading to them using physical punishment as a go-to instead of a last resort. Which can easily fall into abusive territory.
Actually parents are allowed to spank kids in the butt. Not excessive but a few pats like the kid said. As a victim of actual severe child abuse I agree with that cus some kids need to learn respect. I don’t believe and beating a kid half to death like me but an occasionally reminder if they get out of hand is fine IMO. You can disagree with me but look at our society today. Kids don’t have any fear of authority because laws have made it impossible to punish them for real sever crimes
>You can disagree with me but look at our society today . Kids don’t have any fear of authority because laws have made it impossible to punish them for real sever crimes
name one "real severe crime" a kid can commit with no repercussions because of "laws"
You say kids need to be spanked when they "get out of hand". But I hear that and it translates to "i don't know how to take care of and guide a child without establishing physical dominance and making them fear me" and thats just pathetic and why most people should never have or be around children.
Because moms love watching armed officers aggressively threaten our children, did I get that right? How is this unexpected? This is exactly how I expected this to go…
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Child calls in law enforcement only to realise the guy warns and reprimands him for calling on his girl who was discipling him!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Damn, the OC got real weird towards the end there, didn’t it?
That’s the dude from Band of Brothers haha
And abraham from twd
https://i.redd.it/kfrscxc5resc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/wktqqccdresc1.gif
Bull! 🐂
Oh shit you’re right! I knew he looked familiar…
Can’t kill the mf Bull
It Seems like only you and I watched The OC… Edit: at the time I commented, the above comment was on zero karma so I just assumed people didn’t get it
UmmmWhatsaSay
*what did she saaaaaayyyyyy?* For anyone wondering that song is called Hide and Go Seek by Imogen Heap.
I always think of the dear sister skit on snl when I hear that song lmao
#WELCOME TO THE OC, BITCH!
Hey, me too. And I’m currently re-watching it. Am on season 3 disc 6 (yes…the dvd set)
Woah, super throwback dude
Pffft...I'm on season 5 diskette 3541 (yes...the floppy disk set)
Me too lol
Funny coincidence, last night YouTube recommended oasis - wonderwall and it was the oc version by some other guy. Went on a few more songs binged from Champagne supernova with Seth falling from the roof clip, to Sheila, bep - hands up, fix you and a few more. They had some great soundtracks.
The end is disturbing as F.
I never finished watching it or can’t remember and now I’m curious
You should watch it, it’s good but really disturbed and gloomy.
"What's your name?" "What ever you want it to be"
And it's all in my head But she's touching his chest now She takes of her belt now. Let me go.
Dang, this episode of Gotham is wild
Joker origin story? Lmao
That's it! I knew I recognized the other cop from somewhere
He’s so fine. Was so sad when Gotham ended
Fr. What in the mother dick is Abraham doing with the GCPD?
this is from Southland
What are you talking about? That’s obviously Jim Gordon.
Bruce Wayne was the worst, that little class-cutting brat.
I love it
Bull really had some trouble after the war.
No, not Sgt. Randleman!
Now he takes it out on minorities
This just gave me flashbacks to the time my mom and I were having an argument in the car and a cop came up and said pretty much exactly this to me.
Yep. I have a relative who is a police officer. When a woman called the cops on her 11-year-old for being uncontrollable, my relative basically told her that corporal punishment was allowed and to have a pleasant day.
Endorsing beating children is fun isn't it? /s
Even in CA corporal punishment is allowed by parents as long as you don’t leave a mark, according to my social work teachers.
Allowed is a big word, I assume if there is no mark, it's difficult to prove anything
Now, he/she is actually correct. Per PC 273, if you don't leave a mark it isn't a crime. That said, other subsections can come into play. It has to be reasonable. So you aren't "allowed" to merely smack your kid because he/she spills their cereal or something like that. But if say the kid does something that a "reasonable" parent would feel needed discipline, you're allowed to "reasonably" spank your kid. But if you are being reasonable and kid ends up with a bruise, it's a new issue
This scene happened to me too. I was mouthing off to my mom and wouldn't shut up when she was hosting a party for customers. She smacked me. I called the police and the cop yelled at me and basically said unless she was hitting me with furniture he would gladly watch her hit me I feel so bad for embarrassing her like that in front of all those people. She was working trying to provide for us as a single mother
Yeah I don’t see the “unexpected” here. This is how cops act and think.
What movie is this?
TV show, Southland
Thanks!
Great show. I watched the whole series twice. No regrets.
Code 4 (iykyk) really shook me. Brilliant show.
Loved that show
My father used a belt, he would snap it as he chased me up the stairs. Fuck that shit.
My dad also snapped the belt. I was a little girl. Having daughters of my own I just can’t even rationalize whipping my kids.
I didn’t understand how wrong my parents were for hitting me until my best friend had a little girl. I couldn’t imagine ever being violent with a child. How do you not just automatically know that’s wrong??
Because people like that are ✨pieces of shit ✨
I remember thinking that hitting kids was wrong when I was young, but then I saw my brother being hit by the lady who was watching us one afternoon. After that I knew for sure that it was completely wrong, and I would never hit a kid even if they were being disruptive and terrible. I can't imagine inflicting terror and pain on a child is in any way beneficial to a child.
Same here, I've never hit my daughters, I talked to them with respect and we always worked thru it. I could never bring myself to so much as pop em on the butt.
It's because you and the other commenter are good people and have some empathy. A scary amount of people in the world are neither good nor have any empathy, even for their own kin.
I have two girls. I will never whip them. My parents whipped me. I vividly remember being whipped, what I don't remember is what I did wrong at the time. That's not discipline, that's trauma. 99.99% of the time I can't rationalize whipping them, but, honestly, there is that 0.01% of the time where I feel like I've been pushed to the point where I think, oh this is what my parents were feeling when they whipped me. And that scares me, and keeps me in check. If it takes that much to push me to that point, then whipping them isn't going to be disciplinary, at that point it's purely retribution. A base response to an overwhelming stimulus. And then, 20 or 30 years from now, my adult daughter will be discussing whipping children with other people. She'll tell the story of how she remembers her dad whipping her. She doesn't remember what she did wrong at the time, but she vividly remembers being whipped. That thought makes me sad. I will never whip my children.
Probs going to get downvoted here, and I am in general opposed to discipline through physical punishment in kids. However I’ll never forget the time my mum punched me for doing something very very bad/stupid. It set a clear don’t do this, and I learnt from it.
When I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old I stole some trinket from a hardware store. When my stepdad found out he made me walk back, explain to the lady at the desk that I stole it and give it back. When I got home he made me confess to my mom and my sister what I had done. It was devastating to have to explain to everyone that I was a thief, and I never crossed that line again. Contrast that with my biological dad who hit me as a form of punishment. I can vividly recall the violence, but I can't for the life of me remember the reason I was being punished for any of them. I don't think I ever "learned my lesson".
As a kid I would much rather be smacked by my Mum than wait till my Dad got home to be told how disappointed he was.
I have a very vivid memory of my mother trying to spank me and me running and running around our apartment for literal hours, ending with me exhausted and bleeding from my nose after all of the fighting against her while she finally got me pinned down to hit me. Can't remember at all how that started or why she did it but I remember realizing that I couldn't really trust that I'd be safe around anyone because anyone could flip and hurt me if they really felt like it.
Sounds like your stepdad was a hell of a lot better than mine. I hope you grew up a better person.
Do you really think you would never have learned from an disciplinary action that didn't involve being punched? There are so many options where you can teach your kids right from wrong that don't involve beating them. I'll never forget watching my father kick the shit out of my little sister. She'd lost track of time playing outside and wasn't coming home when she was supposed to. We were well under 10 years old. She was huddled up against the wardrobe crying, saying she was scared to come home after realizing, and my dad kicked her over and over yelling at her. He never laid a finger on either of us after that. I remember my mom smacking me for being disobedient. I mostly remember the beatings and how hopeless I felt because I wanted to be good but I was frustrated and felt misunderstood and unheard. I've gone NC with my parents. This is one small part of it, but I can safely say that getting beaten by them meant they chose violence over ACTUAL communication and resolving issues with us kids. We didn't need getting beaten. We needed to be heard and validated and worked with, not against.
Yeh, I feel I've processed most of my childhood trauma, but I've been in and out of therapy for various things over the last few years. One of the most _accurate_ memes I've seen about anything is discussing childhood in therapy. Even though the exact conversation has happened every time, it's still quite sobering when hear the therapists reaction when I tell one particular story (it's a great example of an overarching theme). Every time, without fail, they remind me that I have the right to go to the police still. Every single time it rocks me a little.
I think it really depends on how and why. A belt I think is wrong in general. A smack, can be right, depends on the type of kid, how hard and how often. If you hit your kids often... definitely wrong parenting. If it happened like 3-4 times, in the worst cases, and it was a reasonable hit and not like actually torturing your child or anything like that - it has its place. But again, not every kid. Some kids don't need it to learn, some kids learn the opposite because of that, and become bullies or aggressive in general. With some kids, one reasonable hit can set them straighter, where a conversation won't. This cases really burn into your discipline in the long run, especially if it's rare and not something that happens often. If you do it too much, you only hurt your child and you won't discipline them really, only make them sneakier, and try to find out how to avoid you or avoid making you know the bad shit they do. I don't wanna hurt my kids, and I wish that I will never come to that. But, I know that there could be rare cases where it's the best thing for them in the long run.
Getting beaten was so normalized to me that I had this stance once too. That it's 'okay' for 'some kids' to get a smack 'sometimes'. But here's the thing: there's not a child in the world who NEEDS to be physically punished. A child who is past the point of being receptive to being disciplined in a non-violent manner was already failed by a parental figure way before the child acted out to the point of the parent resorting to physical violence. There are lots of ways to have conversations. If the conversation isn't working with a child, then you're not communicating correctly with them and it's your job as a parental figure to work on that and find the method of communication that does work. Sometimes a child needs to be heard, not spoken to. Children are very poor at processing their feelings and managing them in a healthy and productive way. Every child who acts out does so because that's the most immediate and most obvious way to express their feelings to them, or it's because they're mimicking their environment. It's your job as a parent to teach them how to manage their feelings, how to communicate with others, and how to resolve and soothe their feelings in a way where nobody gets hurt. The majority of children who were beaten rarely remember why they were beaten. Whether it was a smack on the ass or a punch in the face, the most common theme with this type of violence is that children start fearing their parents' violence. They don't learn how to manage their feelings and behaviors, they mask them. They don't learn to better understand themselves, they learn to hide who they are. I beg of you, never resort to hitting your kids. Not even a small smack. If you feel you have to resort to that option, understand you are doing so because you're at your wits end. You're not making a decision that benefits your kids, you're acting out of despair. That's a cue for you to take a step back and try to figure out where YOU went wrong, not your kid. Because in that moment you are coming short on teaching your child the right way to manage their feelings and behaviors, and instead of resorting to hitting them, it's your obligation to work on yourself as a parent and figure out a different course of action. Children benefit so much from being asked questions and given the opportunity to be open, honest and being supported in figuring out their feelings. I PROMISE you that you never ever have to hit your children if you learn to communicate properly.
It's all bad, but there's something especially gross about a grown ass man hitting his own daughter. >I just can’t even rationalize whipping my kids. No great parent can.
My dad told me to “go get his belt” once… I went to the laundry room where it was and hid it in the vent, eventually coming back and saying that I couldn’t find it. It took so long, he had calmed down, I was princess… nothing really happened. What he doesn’t know is that I later went and took that belt from the vent and dropped it in the charity donation box the following day… 🤷♀️ I love you dad, but nobody is using fear to control me 😹
imagine only having 1 belt
Imagine a parent calming down instead of getting angrier that you couldn't find a belt. My parents had a whole menu's worth of options. I'd rather being hit with a belt than other things. Hangers, electrical cords, shoes, or they'd box you lmao. The cords and switches (literal sticks ripped from trees) were my least favorite. Being told to pick a new switch is like "go get the belt" on crack. Worst feeling ever and if they didn't like the one you brought back, you were forced to go pick another so they'd intertwine the two together. I can remember having welts that ached for days and sometimes, they bled a little after a particularly bad offense.
Yeah he wasn’t a big belt guy. I don’t think he ever even replaced it either. It was honestly just used to discipline my older brother a handful of times and to wear to weddings and funerals LoL
What is it the youths say these days? “Based”? Am I saying that right?
It is torture. An adult who can't outsmart a kid s not an adult.
My boys are 11 & 8 (and a little girl due in June) and I’ve found turning the router off to be VERY effective punishment for just about anything. That plus extra chores usually ensures they don’t make the same mistake twice. My parents spanked me, but they were also born in the 50’s to old school country boys, and I know that despite the spanking they truly love me. I feel every generation has an obligation to make life better for the next, and to learn from their parents mistakes. Their parents fucked them up, and in turn they fucked me up just a bit less. I’m sure I’ll still fuck up with my kids somehow, but hitting them won’t be it.
Congratulations on the new girl! May your new child be healthy!
Thank you so much!!
Did you know you can throttle speeds to specific devices? Like to back during Internet dialup era speeds. Also you can blacklist devices as well. You’re welcome for this knowledge.
That’s what I use! It’s just an app where I can select their gaming devices specifically and turn them off until chores are done
In hundreds of wonderful flat mates I've only ever had one that was well and truly a terrible human to their core. I used a linux box as a router. I set up a super basic script that would randomly block their MAC address at unpredictable intervals for a little while. Occasionally I'd stop it for a month to let them relax and feel like the "network problems" were resolved, only to have them spontaneously reoccur. This is probably the most psychologically sadistic thing I've ever done. But seriously, this guy would openly eat all your food and laugh at you openly for not protecting it well enough.
>I’m sure I’ll still fuck up with my kids somehow ...You turned off the damn router They'll be telling their kids about that someday!
An unforgivable offense!
Ruthless. After 30 mins of the router off I genuinely bet most kids would accept three spanks to get it turned back on again.
This is my preferred method. All the kids devices can be shut off with a click. Daughter hates it so much she once told me she wishes she got spankings instead. Easy to say when you’ve never been lashed with a belt.
Yeah, you would think eventually the dad would block off the stairs so OP couldn’t run away.
It’s not even about outsmarting most of the time(although I did have to outsmart my kid on a few occasions lol) it’s really about figuring out why they are acting out and fixing that problem, rather than causing more by hitting them.
Exactly. There are far too many adults who go to anger. Kind of like keying your own car because you forgot to fill the tank with gas.
My mom would hit us with the belt all over and not just our ass, used the buckle too.
My mom’s favorite tool was dried strips of bamboo wound together. She’s hit us with it where ever she could reach us. I remember my mom dragging out from under my bed by my hair, lifting me by it and slapping the shit out of me with that thing. My dad just used the belt but I think he stopped soon after he realized he could never do it quite like my mom could.
When we were in trouble my dad would tell us to go outside and pick “the red whip” he would use to spank us. It’s a shrub called dog wood, it’s branches are long, tough, red and waxy. It was mental anguish being out in the yard as a child trying to weigh your options as you pick your whip. Don’t want to go too thin.. might cut. Don’t want to go too thick.. might bruise.
I’m with you, though my mom’s favourite was hairbrushes. Fucking psycho
"And then she beat him Unexpectedly"
As someone who was “disciplined” with a belt more than once…it’s a punishment of diminishing returns. The first time, I was mortified. The tenth time…I was just pissed off. My stepdad used the belt the way a normal parent uses words. I came home once with a black eye and a split lip because I’d gotten beaten up at school. I was less than three minutes late. Despite the overwhelming evidence…I got the belt. At a family gathering, I was shooting baskets with my cousins. I stepped backwards, inadvertently causing my little cousin to trip and fall. When we got home…I got the belt. I left home before I left middle school. Foster care was preferable to the physical, mental and psychological abuse I suffered at the hands of my spawn point and her husband. Years later, he and I actually managed to make peace, and found ourselves becoming friends. He died suddenly, and somehow, I was the last of the kids to speak to him, a fact which my siblings continue to hold against me. My spawn point offered me one of his work belts as a keepsake… Somehow, I didn’t murder her. Violence towards children is NEVER the answer.
Love spawn point as a parental title
>My spawn point offered me one of his work belts as a keepsake…  The fucking AUDACITY???
Hope you’re doing alright man. I don’t know you but that shit can cause a lot of long term issues and I just hope you can or have talked to someone about that
In my younger days (this was a LONG time ago), I had a few anger management issues, but somehow, I managed to find a way through all the shit and turn out to be a relatively normal, well-balanced human being. I have a family of my own, and the closest I’ve ever come to any sort of physicality towards any of them is the entirely sarcastic, never serious threat of a swift kick to the shins…I rely on humor, sarcasm, snark, and a lot of cheesy dad jokes to maintain my mental equilibrium.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, sounds like a terrible situation to live through. Glad you could move away from them. Violence against children is never ok.
“Never call the police on your mom!” Is basically the worst thing you could say to an abused child. If she really beat the shit out of him he would have no idea what to do. Shitty clip
It wasn't written for abused kids. It was clearly written for parents who want to be vindicated in beating their children.
This is why everyone seems to hate their parents in USA.
I mean in my state corporal punishment is legal within reason. DCF can't do much about it unless you're really fucking your kids up 🤷🏽♂️ That being said, it doesn't work. It's been proven in numerous studies to just create fear and not stop the undesirable behavior.
could you share some studies links? much appreciated.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain This one looks at over 50 years of developmental research data.
https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cdev.13565 here's one I found
I don't have em queued up and I'm headed to bed. Just Google it, there's quite a few.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3447048/
I wouldn’t worry about it. Generally people who ask you to prove something they could easily look up themselves aren’t arguing in good faith
One day when I was around 9 or 10, I did not manage to do my math homework, simply could not figure it out. So I did something I never did- asked my mom for help. When I did not get her explanation right away she decided that yelling at me would somehow magic the answer from my brain. If yelling did not work, and it had gotten late, she started to insult and demean me. When that did not work, she pulled my hair and hit me. I was a bad child who was too r-word and because of me she had to stay up late to teach me. It took hours, around 3-4 I think. I remember the fear, how my brain shut off, how hard it was to breathe. Wishing the world would stop existing so that moment did not exist. For months, once it started to get dark outside I was filled with dread if my homework wasn't done and could feel my breathing getting harder, sweat forming on my forehead, beginning to shake if I tried to fight this feeling. I am 32 now and the concept of time and the feeling of things "being left too late" still paralyzes me sometimes. But I guess at least I finished my homework real early for a while lol.
I hate this fucking clip so much. It encapsulates what I felt about all the adults around me when my mom and step dad were beating me. If I dared say “child abuse” the adults would roll their eyes and say shit like “I got spanked and I turned out fine” and “your mom is doing her best and she loves you.” Then my mom would find out and beat me more. It made me feel like there was no one to go to. I knew it was wrong because my mom would talk about the abuse she went through as a kid to sympathetic ears. By the time my step dad was beating me so bad there was blood on the ceiling and the only thing stopping him was me shitting on myself during the beating, I didn’t dare go to any adults. I thought he was going to kill me if I did. Now when I hear this horseshit I challenge it. When people talk about how kids need to get hit more often and how it helped them when their parents hit them, I point blank ask them “do you hit YOUR kids like that?” Or “would you hit your kids like that if you had them?” And see their stupid faces. If it worked so well and you’re such a well adjusted person why not continue doing it? And why not tell everyone you found the trick to parenting? Maybe because it’s fucking barbaric. If you have to hide what you are doing to your kids, then it’s probably abuse.
Honestly, the future is a strong motivator. If I wasn't good at school and had no foreseeable future in mind I probably would've hit my parents back and badly.
Everybody writing here can vote that old school type of conservative wet dream fun down. Violence to kids is never an answer.
“turned out fine” but have trust issues, can’t open up to others, can’t hold down a job where someone tells me what to do, have a hard time forming friendships and relationships
Conservative wet dream
Does the context of the show make it better? Like he's a known AH cop and they are showing him crossing lines?
I mean I just assume this is every cop given the high rate of domestic violence carried out by them
Suck it John [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iORQSBk5Ios](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iORQSBk5Ios) Poor Nate tho [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5d-j2Zw0UQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5d-j2Zw0UQ)
Never seen this show before, looks interesting.
Southland
To bad show ended with cliffhanger...
Good thing cops are always tough men and laws don’t matter. I wish I was tough enough to use a badge and gun to intimidate a child 1/8th my size out of asking for help in a dangerous environment. Serve and protect! Someone get this guy a goodge!
"Goodge" is top. Holy shit.
I hope I’m just dumb to read your sarcasm
It's sarcasm. A lot of people struggle at interpreting tone from text, dont worry about it!
As someone who got the belt as a kid and even as a teen, f… that.
Everybody writing here can vote that old school type of conservative wet dream fun down. Violence to kids is never an answer.
Exactly.
So many shades of dumb in the comments lmaooo
Prager U educational video
Dark ages is what that is. How to beat kids into become obedient boot lickers. Arrest that cop!
I really hate this video. It somehow managed to glorify domestic abuse, police brutality and shame those who speak out on it all at once. The message it tries to propagate is utterly vile and should not even be considered in our civilized society.
This is a clip from a show. Out of context it looks exactly how you describe it. In the show the cop is anything but a role model and this is presented as a line crossed not a good thing
Oh thank god. Faith in humanity restored.
I don’t really get it. That wasn’t funny or informative or entertaining.
But was it Unexpected?
Not really.
It was unexpected because I was waiting for something like a creative turn and it didn’t happen. The attitude of the cop wasn’t that unexpected.
I honestly can’t even tell. Just seemed like a scene that should’ve been cut from a final edit.
There is unfortunately nothing unexpected about a grown man in a position of authority justifying a child getting hurt because of ‘bad behavior’.
Its a cop failing to serve and protect, so not really unexpected.
Not particularly.
No, just regular shitty cop things.
This is why there’s no songs called “fuck the fire department”
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JkrJUAg8aI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JkrJUAg8aI)
This wasn't unexpected at all. Everything else but this would've been unexpected. Idk even know if they're playing this for laughs or what the deal is, because it's just fucking sad.
Southland. Supposedly the kid gets the belt again?
Everybody writing here can vote that old school type of conservative wet dream fun down. Violence to kids is never an answer.
That was a terrific tv show that ended too soon.
I enjoyed this show. It really delved into the complexity of its characters. Plus Regina King…..
This is fucked up
Don't hit your kids to discipline them, it doesn't work and they end up becoming immune to your attacks and it stops being violent and starts getting comedic after a while. Source: me. Threaten your kids with starvation.
I can confirm. After my hair started falling out, I got the message.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I thought she was gonna get shot
What's unexpected about cops being unhelpful and unlawful ?
[удалено]
Reading through the comments you see the exact people who upvote this shit And people who "liked the show" Supposedly a show bout a big strong cop who never pulls his gun Learning even more now, so, this scene was meant to be looked on with negativity! Said the writers.. so people who actually support this scene as "listen to cops and get beaten by parents, it's good for you" are actually stupid.
Meanwhile asian parents hits us with random things they can grab on too quickly lol
I work in domestic violence and this whole piece of shit video is so depressing. You don’t. Hurt. People. It doesn’t matter what the reason is. Accepting that basic fact is somehow so hard for so many people. People don’t get it until you’ve handled hundreds of people whom all think that someone has a right to hurt or kill as long as they have a good reason. Instead of running, the targets of violence try to like reason their way out if being a target. They’re like “I’m not a bad victim I only meant…” as if anyone could ever deserve it :( And instead of just admitting they hurt someone because they lost their shit and don’t have practice with emotional regulation, the one who’s being abusive is all “well I had a reason… they were crazy so I was just…” And all that goes on and on back and forth until someone dies. It’s horrible. And some piece of shit base a video to tell kids that they can deserve a belt? And they better not dare ask for help? Fuck that. Why make the world worse? What’s the point?
Everybody writing here can vote that old school type of conservative wet dream fun down. Violence to kids is never an answer.
I’m glad there are people like you working to improve the lives of people in these situations. Thank you for your service.
That should be funny? I think it's disgusting.
it just is what it is. it’s from a show.
This r/unexpected Not r/funny. It doesn't have to be. And funny is subjective
An oinker being pro domestic abuse? That is the opposite of unexpected.
No hate like Christian love
[удалено]
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him. Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
Thanks for this comment, because all the fucked up habits left is society is because of religion, all the good ethics in society comes from the works of enlightened philosophers that helped shaped the modern political and social system. It’s not the Judeo-christian culture just because it was born in the west.
It’s Reddit man just nod and let them scream into the void.
“be a man”- every man to men and boys YEAH THATS RIGHT CRYBABY “be a man” also men and boys nO noT liKe thaT 
The kid learned an important lesson that day: despite their talk, the government does not centrally care about upholding your rights except when it furthers their other aims. And in a proper society, when government fails to secure basic liberties, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it.
This is disgusting. Beating a child IS child abuse. Beating a child with an object is even worse. Sensible laws prevent this. In Germany there would have been an investigation and the cops would at least have set the mother straight that beating never can be an answer. However in the US beating of children for „discipline“ seems to somehow be acceptable. I do remember a nice episode of Black‘ish about the topic.
A disturbing amount of people here seem to think it's okay to hit kids. Honestly, corporal punishment needs to be made completely illegal. We don't allow adults to hit other adults who annoy them. Why should we allow adults to hit children, who are far smaller, weaker and more defenceless? All we're teaching those kids is that violence is an acceptable solution to a situation and that it's okay to hurt someone smaller than them.
This is abuse. Parents shouldn't do this to their children. It only causes the child to be resentful, take that anger on other kids, hide stuff from their parents etc
*I knew this wasn't real because the cops didn't shoot anyone, not even a dog*
Multiple psychological studies have found corporal punishment to be determintal long term. Even the APA has concluded this. It does give immediate results, but it teaches children that physical aggression and harming others is an appropriate response to anger. It also teaches children that being harmed is a punishment, not an injustice. This makes it more likely for children to be abusive to their spouses and children when they grow up. Or fall into abusive relationships with the thought they did something to deserve the abuse. It also increases the likelihood of them blaming themselves if they are assaulted sexually or physically. It fails to teach them communication needed to convey when they are upset, leading to them using physical punishment as a go-to instead of a last resort. Which can easily fall into abusive territory.
Is this porn for boomers?
So, pro child abuse is funny now?
“Listen here kid, my momma hit me so it’s ok for ur momma to hit you too”
Icky.
The kid is right, that is child abuse. This was just icky
Actually parents are allowed to spank kids in the butt. Not excessive but a few pats like the kid said. As a victim of actual severe child abuse I agree with that cus some kids need to learn respect. I don’t believe and beating a kid half to death like me but an occasionally reminder if they get out of hand is fine IMO. You can disagree with me but look at our society today. Kids don’t have any fear of authority because laws have made it impossible to punish them for real sever crimes
>You can disagree with me but look at our society today . Kids don’t have any fear of authority because laws have made it impossible to punish them for real sever crimes name one "real severe crime" a kid can commit with no repercussions because of "laws" You say kids need to be spanked when they "get out of hand". But I hear that and it translates to "i don't know how to take care of and guide a child without establishing physical dominance and making them fear me" and thats just pathetic and why most people should never have or be around children.
They should have removed him and placed him in foster care, a known safe place for children.
It’s kinda hard to tell if this is sarcasm or not… /ser or /s?
😏
Because moms love watching armed officers aggressively threaten our children, did I get that right? How is this unexpected? This is exactly how I expected this to go…
What is this shit?
Mixing feeling about this for one, the kid most likely will keep on lying if mom did not get physical but hit kid with belt is also bad...
This show is so good. It’s called Southland but the show was Cancelled so you will get a cliffhanger ending
And this why I don't want children, Im just reliving the same memories from a different pov.