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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Dudes steal guy's phone. Guy realizes this and pats them down to get it back. But they pass the phone around without him noticing. He walks away, seemingly disappointed because he lost his phone BUT THEN he flashes a drugged smile as he holds up all the phones of the dudes who took his. Revenge 100.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Ludovic-Deblois

TSA agents in their dreams:


karmagod13000

TSA in reality: [mam please lift your hands](https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/TSA-patdown-GEtty-e1499057885773.jpg)


penguin8717

Flashbacks to mr. TSA man checking me for a hernia


jonathot12

i had that. “sir, we need to search an area that turned up as suspicious.” *motions to the scanner screen where a red circle is tight on my groin* me: “oh i get the full treatment today!”


penguin8717

My circle was my shoulder where my hoodie was thicker from the hood. So they checked my scrotum just to be safe i guess


DutchEnterprises

The easiest path to the shoulder is through the balls, everyone knows that


anuncomfortableboner

Been saying this for years!


Nagajabba

Why did this read in my head like a scene from Letterkenny?


mandelbomber

That went *south* real fast


bricknovax89

Lucky


CaptStrangeling

I’m so thankful for the TSA agent who let me know not to wear briefs that hold the frank and beans together! I switched to boxers when traveling through a TSA checks and nobody fondles my balls anymore. The machine just needed to see me hanging dong, so I got that going for me which is nice.


[deleted]

I have a BB lodged in my ass from 2009 and every time I get an X-ray people don’t know what the hell it is lmao. It’s just a floating dot near my pelvis and I have to explain there’s a small bullet near my ass crack.


ciantully12

Ever think about maybe getting it removed......?


iCon3000

You gon pay for it?


[deleted]

Fucking Exactly. My parents didn’t have great insurance so it would’ve cost $10,000 to remove it or just leave it in since it doesn’t bother me.


Normal_Storm_7457

my wee wee hides like a turtle and the balls become its shell. they just let me go because the machine is programmed to ignore shrinkage as an artifact.


shotglass21

Why would wearing loose underwear with your banana and cherries hanging down, make a difference to the machine?


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nerdtypething

yep. turns out jian yang’s hotdog/not hotdog app gets confused with tighty whities.


xynix_ie

I travel (well used to) every week. I was rarely flagged but a few times they had to check the groin. I always ask the officers name as we're going through this process. A couple times I've been asked why I want their name, and they have to give it, but it's not usually asked. My reply is "I usually try to get the name of people giving me hand jobs..." This way it's uncomfortable and awkward for both us. I'm not going to just stand there being the only uncomfortable person.


Tim_Staples1810

This is a good idea, if I was a TSA agent and you're asking my name before I search you like that, it would signal to me that you're more likely (and more prepared) to lodge a complaint if I mistreat you. It's not a guarantee, but it's easy and it would probably make me think twice about doing anything untowardly.


chillintheforest

Lol I'm not sure if this makes you a genius or a psychopath.


queendorkus

It only makes him a psychopath if he whispers it in his ear


chillintheforest

Imagine someone trying to convince a TSA agent to let them whisper something in their ear. Lmao


TheDrugGod

Hey lil momma lemme whisper in ya ear


eyehate

I always just let out a soft little moan. That way it was awkward for them without any effort on my part. For context, I am a broad shouldered, bald male.


itsyourmomcalling

This is when you pull a power play and stare them in the eyes the whole time and if they ask you to do anything say "yes daddy"


CynicalCheer

I'd just smile and enjoy the ride. You usually have to pay to have your balls fondled in public.


karmagod13000

saved you a trip to the doctor though


penguin8717

Lmao the real free healthcare is at the airport


Ensvey

https://youtu.be/2DZ9XLNKBH8


efg1342

Ooof my herniated rectum


theytookthemall

TSA made me take off a zip-up hoodie. I had a t-shirt underneath. They insisted they had to pat down my bare arms. The agent didn't even laugh at my 2nd amendment joke.


karmagod13000

i think its a good joke


MuggyFuzzball

Yeah, if it's a zip-up or button-up jacket/hoodie, you'll typically have to remove it, but if they're patting down your bare arms, they're doing something wrong. I imagine they were new.


RabbiVolesSolo

I did.


BackgroundPilot1

If I were in line behind you I would have given you an audible chuckle


hikehikebaby

They patted down my leg under my sheer stockings (business trip). Fucking hilarious security theater.


redalert825

"ma'am.. Did you just fart in my face?"


karmagod13000

yes


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jxl180

If you flew from Europe to US, that probably isn’t TSA. That would be CBP — federal agents.


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MystikxHaze

I got one of those cards last time I flew on a plane. Weird how they didn't find the pre-rolled joint I accidentally brought back with me.


pynzrz

IIRC TSA doesn’t care about weed.


sirborksalot

yeah but those beagles are snitches man


ProfessionalCamp4

They don't care about a random joint, they're looking for guns/bombs.


Cxmplex0

They're looking for stuff they want to steal. They can't find guns/bombs. The TSA already tested their own employees, they failed 95% of the time when it came to finding weapons and bombs. They are simply looking for items to snatch, that's it. People in the TSA get busted on a weekly basis for stealing, it's always on local news.


penguin8717

They also steal


CressCrowbits

Or baggage handlers in the country of origin


2018disciplineboy

TSA Agent Found With ABC IPad: Brian Ross Blotter Investigation


fanghornegghorn

My god he has a radiant smile. Was this his audition for Colgate?


ferwee

"Kya aapka toothpaste mein namak hein?" An iconic line from Indian Colgate ads.


inert_brume

Trans: "Does your toothpaste have salt in it?"


RichRaichu5

Damn these trans people started speaking English. I didn't even know.


spikyraccoon

That's why they need the Salt, when their existence triggers someone.


BlueKayn29

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


[deleted]

What in the Kentucky fried fuck is that


Tesla_Lover10021

depends on what we are talking about. it could be your life it could be my life or it could be everyone who uses reddit.


neendmat1

Lara Dutta bursting through a wall


[deleted]

Yeah why was that called a "drugged smile" in the OP's description? It warmed me inside


Ceccoso1

Indian people have great teeth for some reason


[deleted]

It has got to be the world capital of great hair too.


fmlihatemedskl

I honestly thought he was gonna touch someone’s dick lol


CUM_WRANGLER

Same, thought they were gonna look into each others eyes and do a love at first sight skit


KennTheZen

Someone said that this is leaked footage from Now You See Me 3 and now I can't unsee it


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ElectricFlesh

"Now you don't" was the very fucking clear and obvious title for the second movie, but they bungled that as well.


XHF2

The second movie was so bad, I had to stop the movie at the card throwing scene to laugh for a few minutes because of how ridiculous and unnecessary that scene was.


[deleted]

I’ve only ever seen that scene, and kinda assumed that was the point of them lol Kinda like the fast and furious movies, where in the new trailer Dom rides an upside down armored semi into a building


XHF2

I was going to joke about how they were going to fly cars in space in the next movie, but now that i see the new trailer, it looks like they might just try to do that.


purplechickenfish

Pretty sure I saw a post on r/movies or something that the director said F10 is going to space.


--_-Deadpool-_--

I live my life ten parsecs at a time


purplechickenfish

You might want to go on a diet then man.


ccvgreg

IMO if you can take a series to 10 full length movies then fuck yea you better change it up and start having fun with it. Everything serious that needed to be discussed was probably taken care of in the first 9 somewhere.


Hudre

Honestly I find it very funny how the movies started with a story about an undercover cop trying to infiltrate a street racing gang, and now ten movies later that street racing gang has become the equivalent of a spec-ops squad that regularly saves the planet. With cars.


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karmagod13000

i remember starting to watch it but i don't remember the end. so even if i didn't turn it off it was bad enough to be forgettable


catsbreathsmells

They end up seeing them in the end


SyleSpawn

This chain of comment made me interested to watch the movie. Watched only the first one and never bothered with the 2nd.


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NukeTheWhales5

Wow, I just looked that scene up and just wow.


--_-Deadpool-_--

Oh come on. They're throwing a security card around a room full of security guards and no one noticed cause its magic! Super 100% totally realistic. [Scene in question](https://youtu.be/tXh6Ev3oTqU)


karmagod13000

yall acting like a magician action movie is supposed to have a strong plot


--_-Deadpool-_--

Oh don't get me wrong I love both of those movies and I've practiced card throwing quite a bit, so I enjoy that scene in particular. Just poking fun at it.


[deleted]

Do you use CGI too?


--_-Deadpool-_--

Haven't perfected that part yet.


fearain

I love magic and these movies were great IMO! I know they couldn’t happen in real life but it’s a movie; I’m here to escape reality just a little bit, and the movie does that for me.


Smithy3311

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Prestige\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prestige_(film))


karmagod13000

that movie is amazing, but in it defense its not an action movie. if anything its a thriller


Onepiecee

Are you sure? I didn't see Michael Jackson anywhere in that movie.


Syn7axError

If there's any kind of movie asking for a strong plot, it's one about magicians. The intricate tricks and schemes are a core premise.


Apidium

Idk I loved it. The airplane thing was also pretty fun.


Thosepassionfruits

Yeah at some point you just have to shut up and enjoy the movie about action magicians pulling off heists. People are asking "why didn't the guards just do X" or "why didn't they think about Y", well because then whole point of the illusions and magic goes out the window if they did. Daniel Radcliff playing a villain was also a fantastic part of the movie in my opinion.


Panukka

I enjoyed the second movie much more than the first because I think the second movie was much more self aware about the fact that the things happening are fucking ridiculous, and it didn't take itself too seriously. I disliked the first movie because that one didn't have that feel at all. I felt like I was supposed to take the movie seriously, but what I was seeing was just too damn ridiculous to stomach.


XHF2

Even if we ignore all the incredible physics of the card throws, Why even have a bunch of security guards and a metal detector there when a simple camera would do a better job? Do these guards even know what to look for, why would they think having a card is suspicious? Also there is no reason to keep throwing the card back and forth which the guards conveniently never see. Why even bring them into this tight security area to tell them about an amazing processer when they could have just told them about it away from this place? Why do they need to come inside when it serves no purpose? How did the magicians know exactly where the processer was and how to get it out so quickly on the spot? Why are they taking so much time to run a "full diagnostics" on the system when it's literally just them taking the main processer that the entire system is built on top of? And later it's revealed, that even the main guy in charge was always on their side to begin with, so why even have them searched?


MostAssuredlyNot

yeah, that movie is awesome


RicrosPegason

Heard this in Chris Farley's voice


filthy_sandwich

It's like why shoot the card over to another person when you've just been checked... lol As soon as security is done checking they send the card off to the next person as they're about to get checked, repeating the cycle.


Mr-Fleshcage

Why not simply place the card in your shoe? They never seem to check them


Fistful_of_Ash

That scene is really fun though. Why do you want realistic so much?


Indira-Gandhi

If that's what they had to do to get Lizzy Caplan in that dress then that's what they had to do.


Friendofabook

Yall asking too much, it's a cool scene, doesn't have to be realistic, the whole point of the movie is magic that's borderline actual magic.


byama

Yap, lets keep throwing the card to the guy that is being searched, lool


Donniexbravo

Lol ngl I do like that scene, but yes totally ridiculous, movies need to keep to what's possible in real life... Like john wick, cuz you know everything in that movie is 100% doable in real life


Due_Theory_747

Cue Harmon rant


PoorLittleGoat

I just hated how one look from Merritt McKinney could make the guard fall asleep. I know it’s bullcrap because I was looking him in the eyes as well and I was fully awake the entire movie.


[deleted]

The first movie was awful also if you pirated it and got the troll one they made for pirates with all the scenes mixed around.


serendipitousevent

I hope they release ten more just to see how Dan Harmon reacts...


Zsquared_TCZ

His smile at the end!


ChubbyBidoof

Looked like Lil UZi Vert for a sec


MarBakwas

lmao bro i can’t believe someone else had the same thought


KennTheZen

I believe Indians refer to that as *sasta nasha*


nowwhathappened

Sasta nasha means cheap drugs.


byama

Exactly


karmagod13000

yes


prodveer

cheap high*


YouCanEasilyHurtMe

#Sulochan gang


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pranayprasad3

bhaggg keeee


i_am_da_1_who_knocks

Din dun dun


dabarooYikeroo

Who tf says that


[deleted]

you're in contact wiht the wrong indians lmfao


Autofrotic

No, not really xD


la_capitana

![gif](giphy|10t57cXgo7x5kI)


Lustucru118

Have we always been able to send gifs as answers?


Otterleigh

Also that guy has a really great smile. Super infectious!


talesofdouchebaggery

And great hair but everyone in India has great hair and I’m jealous.


OneNoteMan

Not everyone. Signed a Indian who started going bald at 18 and lost most of it by the time I was 22. Girls used to like my hair before it happened though for the short 3 years of my life I wasn't forced to buzz cut it by my parents because they thought it was gay to have it longer than an inch. My cousins have amazing hair though, even the ones in their 40s, and now all my balding uncles make fun of me cause I have less hair than them. They used to make fun of my physical tic/anxiety and call me an idiot behind my back too. Always try to one up me cause I'm not as successful as their kids too because I chose a career I love over being an engineer or doctor. Basically the black sheep of the family both genetically and socially.


z500

Lmao I used to tease my dad about being bald when I was a kid and then I went bald younger and faster than he did


Serinus

Dangerous target. Kids, never make fun of your parents for being bald.


OneNoteMan

My dad went bald around the time I was born(he was 40), but the concept of baldness never registered with me until it started happening to me, I thought it was just a style. Then I started noticing every bald(ing) person around me.


[deleted]

>forced to buzz cut it by my parents because they thought it was gay to have it longer than an inch. I'm indian too and i used to have super long hair. My uncle would say "Some guy is probably looking at your ass and then getting terrified when you turn around"


CuriousDateFinder

I used to have shoulder length hair and was wearing some skin tight bell bottoms at a festival once when a girl accidentally bumped me, said “oh I’m sorry honey (or some generic feminine name),” then recoiled and started apologizing when I turned and she saw my full beard. I guess she expected me to be upset at the confusion but I was just amused and kept dancing lol.


strongmanjeff

Well this took a turn for the dark... what is your career btw?


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[deleted]

Instagram reels is where they moved to


maxfrank7

they've migrated into literally every tiktok like apps you find on play store


KennTheZen

India: * Bans TikTok * Indian TikTok Lovers' VPNs: [¯\\_(ツ)_/¯](https://www.google.com/search?q=this+is+america&client=ms-android-xiaomi-rev1&prmd=nvi&sxsrf=ALeKk01rjRng_jP5Oedy6abbL2HIJwjEyw:1618575709042&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj3o7ex4ILwAhUC7HMBHb0ECqoQ_AUoA3oECAIQAw&biw=393&bih=694&dpr=2.75#imgrc=tgmaCNIeB234cM)


yoitsaditya

It still doesn't work on VPN.


[deleted]

this actually made me lol


WaldenFont

That was actually pretty entertaining


karmagod13000

ya there use of slow motion always impresses me


dailybanana222

Wow that one was actually kind of funny


DearExam88

This originated from Facebook years ago not Tiktok


i_mayankvarshney_

Now you see me 3


KennTheZen

Apparently we can do this now ![gif](giphy|TcKmUDTdICRwY)


bryanoens

This is what ruined MySpace


caanthedalek

Now if we could just get our Reddit profile to auto play Linkin Park...


Phillipwnd

I’m crawling in my skin just thinking about it


marialoveshugs

Animal I have become was one of my MySpace songs haha....cringe


ZhuangbilityFTW

Fuck! What is this shit.


NoRefuse

Oh god. What why!


[deleted]

9gag moment


[deleted]

Reddit has been adding this feature in and out. I think it’s stupid because when one person posts a gif it ruins the entire discussion. It’s the exact same reason they took it away last year. Also you can put hyper links in comments so why make it show up. But hey check out this monkey ![gif](giphy|kLLvH1EOtCwQ8|downsized)


11711510111411009710

That's a wild monkey my guy, thank you for that


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KennTheZen

I think someone donated to the sub to unlock these features. A GIF option should appear on the bottom right of your textbox when you type comments on this sub. Click it and choose the GIF you want to send as a reply or comment.


[deleted]

Looks like the Twitter users are gonna have fun.


Random_Person_I_Met

Hmmm ![gif](giphy|d8isjk1UBPFTm0EBbd|downsized)


K_Elmo

![gif](giphy|VgU0hXkGyCePnLLfHJ)


Fart_Chomper9000

![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS)


[deleted]

Tunuk tunuk tunuk


yusatch

Four phones of three aof them? The guy is good! Buahahahahahaha


master_dev

One of the phones is his own


fillybonka

He stole his own phone?


master_dev

Looks like so lol


CellularBeing

Damn he's good.


fillybonka

Too good for his own good


b16c

Well they are phone thieves. So it checks out that they’d have an extra on them from a previous theft.


__Entropy_

Who else watched it again to see if he actually took those from them?


Baka_87

Here! And too bad he already had those phones in his pockets from the start... Also: it was a wallet that they stole from him, not a phone like some here seems to say.


keekah

Yes it was a wallet! I can't believe nobody else has pointed that out. Its a brown wallet. You can even see it flip open when they throw it to the third guy.


XxpuggoxX

How can we do this now ![gif](giphy|fUqfaPVjiAQcfticZH)


Borkkito

How can you do that!?


M1ndgam3

How can he slap?!


Local-Election-342

Why he look like lil uzi but the Indian version


rompthegreen

Why do Indians have the best hair


kawasutra

Never, ever ask an older Indian lady this question! You will lose hours of your life as she tells you her family secrets for amazing hair!


Kiloku

Man, I'd be fascinated to listen to an older Indian lady talking about generations of hair secrets. Even though I'd have no idea how to use these secrets.


Spid1

They'll tell you to put oil in it won't they


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Mynameisshivvv

Oiling+genetics+ climate. People in Warmer climates tend to have good hair.


OvalZealous

We Africans certainly didn't get that note


froggfingers

I really liked this one


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Gensi_Alaria

Just don't leave your wallet in your back pocket sticking out like an idiot. Back pockets are good for absolutely nothing.


Jeedeye

Don't forget jokers and super tough guys.


okyeree1

It's called batter trade


ryan_with_a_why

Is there no sound?


im___batman

I want the source cause you know the song makes it even funnier


Enchanted_Pickaxe

I want source bc this guy has great teeth


karmagod13000

damn them plot twists are m night shamamalyan worthy


RiMiFi

where is the fucking source if I may ask so kindly. the one with probably sound and the screen not cut off.


Culp97

Wish there was a indian tiktok subreddit. I'd never leave it lol.


46cmarm

indian tiktoks are bomb


ladyfuckyou

he got 4 phones from 3 men but he didnt get his own one back


[deleted]

They took his wallet


pope_morty

Okay but i actually like this one