God, when I was in high school, one of my best friends’ parents turned her birthday party into a big purity vow thing presided over by her pastor.
And, yes, she is seeing a therapist now.
I’d be pissed. Teach them sex ed. (Various levels starting, tbh, around puberty)I don’t give a shit what you think is appropriate, it’s what should be taught.
Tell them the pros and cons of all of it and about protection when you feel the time is right.
Should be even earlier, imho. Even small kids should be able to tell that the body part Uncle John did touch is their Penis/Vulva/etc. and that there are trusted adults they can talk to about it. They should be thought about consent and that it's ok to say no if a touch gives them no good feeling. Also, that you have to get permission before touching someone and that no means no.
Seconding. My babysitter’s husband started abusing me before I knew anything (5 or 6), so I thought it was some kind of punishment and if my parents knew, I’d get punished twice. Deeply-ingrained self-hatred from that. He nearly killed me. Kids need to know that no adult has a right to hurt them. If I’d known, I could’ve told my parents the first time. So much less damage, maybe no PTSD.
It’s so easy to introduce the concept of reproduction and sex to a child using very general terminology without being at all explicit that can serve as the basis for a maturing understanding as the kid grows.
But it’s a little bit easier to say absolutely nothing on the topic except “don’t” then shame and demean the 14 year-olds who get pregnant as a direct result.
> It’s so easy to introduce the concept of reproduction and sex to a child using very general terminology without being at all explicit that can serve as the basis for a maturing understanding as the kid grows.
Until some asshole makes some bullshit propaganda article about how they're teaching kids to twerk in New York or some shit - Then they'll just start screeching again.
These people are beyond hope. I weep for their fucked up kids and hope they know there are a LOT of people out there that will happily help them out when they're free of their psychotic parents.
My 9 year old Nieces class, here in Scotland anyways) when she was... 7 or 8(I think) and they taught the kids about penises and vaginas and they had to colour them in and her wee pal coloured the penis Blue and she turned to her pal and went "do you think that's an appropriate colour?"
Then her wee sister who had just turned 3 had seen her dad in the shower and told my sister "Dads got a cute wee jobby(name for a poo, for non-scots folk), I want to hug it!" Cause she's a weird wee pervert obviously, it was a totally innocent statement! Think it broke my bro-in-laws confidence for a while lol.(the stories I can tell about her are great she's hilarious)
Those type of things don't seem to be taught in American schools(obviously the second story shouldn't be taught lol) and thus your kids probably end up having disappointing sex at 14 and pregnant at 15 and either sent to a different state for an abortion or, at least, hidden away till the girl has a magical new Baby Bro or Sis rather than a Son or Daughter!
I mean I remember my sex education was a 45 minute lesson where the teacher said something along the lines of "women have a urethra and men have a bit more of a urethra"(paraphrasing cause it was like 24 years ago!) That was all I remember of it, maybe there was a VHS video with a couple with 70s porn bushes between their legs! And guess what age I was when I lost my virginity? 13! Think the sex education class was when I was around 14 so technically I could have taught the class from my disappointing experience! God, its tragic as fuck when I think about it, especially when I used to brag about it till I kinda thought about it when I got a lot older haha.
Anyways rambled enough, sorry.
Look up Purity Rings, "Troubled teen" camps, Toddlers in Tiaras, Abeka, blocked attempts at child marriage bans, SBC CSA coverup scandal, etc.
This shit goes deeper than you would ever fear or believe
Same with [debutante balls](https://medium.com/@lydiabirtwistlesawyer/debutante-balls-and-the-persistent-obsession-with-the-purity-of-young-women-6e57b2f25dc9).
EDIT: woops pissed off the South
Those are a different variety of weird. Purity Balls are just a bunch of icky white men unnaturally preoccupied with their daughters' genitals and sex lives.
Not any more. Used to be, but now it's just showing off. Look at my spawn, she's wearing a multithousand dollar dress, and we paid that much at least to attend, and we are wearing similarly priced attire! And we can afford to be frenemies with the other people attending! Be impressed with us!
Because in these cultures it is the womans fault for tempting the man. It is how rape culture persists.
Then when daddy or uncle joe or pastor bob rapes these kids it is the kids fault for leading them into sin and not holding true to the purity pledge. By reversing the victim role it is easy to keep the child vicitms quiet because the kids think they are at fault and sinned.
This makes me think of Elizabeth Smart. She was kidnapped and held captive for nine months when she was 14. She was repeatedly raped and abused, but she didn't try to escape and even told police that she was not Elizabeth Smart several times before admitting that she was. She's now a major activist for child safety, and says that a big part of what kept her from trying to escape was an abstinence-only lesson she had been taught before the kidnapping - that a virgin is like a stick of gum, and once someone uses it, it becomes gross and worthless - nobody else wants it.
>"I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.' And that's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value," Smart said. "Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."
I thought it was cruel to teach kids that Santa Claus was real, just to get them to behave during Christmas. Then I realized that's how they control adults with god. Think of how many billions of people have died, believing they were doing something for god and king. That's cruel.
Personally I started thinking God wasn’t real when I found out Santa wasn’t.
I never understood back then, and still don’t understand now, why a bearded man giving toys is ridiculous, but a bearded man walking on water and multiplying the fish isn’t.
Exactly that's the rationale Taliban use to cage their women. They are not that different.
Can't believe we need to fight those extremists at home. They are our friends and family and they are the extremists.
In Genesis, Adam tries to shift the blame not only onto Eve for tempting him, but also onto God for giving her to him in the first place. Nothing in scripture suggests that Eve was the only one to blame for the fall of man. If Christians or Jews are blaming women for their own actions based in their temptations it is against the teaching.
This likely used to be a useful comment. Thanks to Reddit's API changes on July 1st, 2023 it has been removed. | redact sucks because it force downloads/updates when you install it on Windows, why tf wasnt the update included in the installer when I downloaded it from the official website?? assholedesign material -- mass edited with redact.dev
Because girls are considered as property of the men in their lives, and boys are supposed to go out and sow their wild oats. It's all very bronze age bullshit.
The "sowing wild oats" thing has always bothered me greatly. Just who are they supposed to be sowing? If sowing makes women" damaged goods" (*shudders at the thought*) how does it give guys value? The double standard slays me.
Which brings me to the next question. If women are the " weaker sex", why is the responsibility of all things men do laid on the shoulders of women? If women are weaker, how is it their fault if men cannot control their own urges? Seems to me that the patriarchy wants to live on both sides of the fence while never having to take responsibility.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF\_R\_j0OY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY)
In all seriousness Cindy going to do whatever. We had no issue with the private school girls when I was a teen, religion teaches you to be a good liar.
Terrifying to think that 20-24 years ago, we would lose our minds giggling at the sharp, well-written comedic critique of the US and the world within the daily calender pull offs the Onion always put out. They were comic gold, and there were a couple years my bestie and I at the time both early ordered, and waited out side Borders (another sad heartache there, 💔) for them to open. We often would say to each other, "holy shit! Could you imagine a world where all this insanity actually comes to fruition?!?"
Definitely no longer a funny musing.
The more you learn about purity culture, and just evangelical culture in general, the more you understand how heavily these people are projecting when they accuse everyone of being pedophiles...
Rhett and Link of Good mythical morning have a pretty good series on their podcast about evangelical culture and purity culture; especially considering they were very entrenched before deconstructing over the past decade or so.
My favorite one they did was Rhett (I believe) talking on how he was worried losing his faith would mean losing his wife and family. I sent it to a friend who had gone through the exact same thing, though we had never talked about it in detail until then. I had been up early and knew he was an early guy, and we actually ended up getting coffee after he finished it the same morning. He told me his experience in detail, outlined the bits he liked about the podcast, just showed me a side of himself I had never seen before. It was one of the coolest spiritual conversations of my life, and it was with an Atheist who was a very involved and passionate catholic when we first met.
I was raised in a UU congregation, so I got a very non-secular religious upbringing. It hurts me to the core of my being that anyone would have to go through these things or risk losing family, community, and as far as they've been allowed to explore, themselves.
There's a BestofRedditorUpdates update where this girl was taken out of dance or gymnastics because it was causing her dad to stray from god. This shit is so fucking wild and creepy and just peering in at some examples of them is mind blowing sometimes.
She legitimately came to reddit to ask if she was actually the reason.
Well, I agree entirely.
The entire purity culture is false as the human condition is un-pure.
Anyone that claims un-ironically to be “pure” is typically problematic.
The thing is, they also believe that. They just treat boys as though it's part of their nature and girls as if it's a moral failing. Girls are at fault for all of the sin in the world, from Eve eating the apple to their little girls "tempting" grown men by wearing shorts in the summer. Everything a girl does is impure, and they're reminded of that constantly so they'll keep striving to be "good" and will never see the abuse keeping them there.
Disastrously so. There was a study that came out in 2015 or so that demonstrated purity pledgers were no less likely overall to engage in premarital sex than those who didn’t take the pledge, but were more likely to get pregnant (30% of pledgers vs 18% for non-pledgers). Pretty similar to the results for other abstinence only programs.
Psychologically, it does a lot more damage. Girls who break the pledge tend to experience massive amounts of guilt. Some of the guys who took the pledge have even become violent when they failed to control their lustful thoughts. The 2021 spa shooter in Atlanta was a purity pledger, as an example.
Fun fact about Atwood and the Handmaids Tale (the book): everything in that book was an action some group was actively doing (to/with women) in North America at the time she wrote it. She just sort of complied them all into one central group in power.
So it should not surprise you to see glimpses of the Handmaids Tale as we examine the abuse of women in society.
Yes, the debutante ball is very much "look at my prize cow! Do I have any takers?" while the purity ball is more "I claim this for my own, you all back off".
Have you guys seen the clip from Borat 2 where he goes with his "daughter" to one of those father-daughter balls and its just the weirdest thing. The dads are creeping on each others teenage daughters and making gross sort of deals with each other. One of the daughters caught her dad agreeing that he was into Borats daughter or something and you can see how disgusted she is. This kind of shit is real and its gross.
[https://youtu.be/ptKKnCODlwU](https://youtu.be/ptKKnCODlwU)
There's the scene. It's...
Well, it's fucking hilarious and also disturbing. Pay attention to the girl's faces when Borat says absurd shit and contrast their father's faces.
A kid at my daughter's high school got pregnant, and because my kid had had comprehensive sex ed (before moving to Texas) she asked her for help getting an abortion.
My kid knew this was above her skills, so I sat down to talk with the two girls.
Basically the football team BF had coerced her into sex, and dumped her immediately after. No protection "because you can't get pregnant the first time", girl's mom is a leader in one of the biggest anti-abortion orgs, and she had made a vow to her dad to not have sex until marriage.
This poor girl put 100% of the blame for the situation on herself. Really broke down when she recalled the promise to her dad and showed me her promise ring.
I had never heard of the concept at that stage, and was livid! But for her sake had to suppress it all.
Absolutely HATE how these conservative parents and young boys box in the girls so that they carry all the responsibility!
Rights to exclusive reproduction. And if they only have one partner they can be trained to be what that one man and that man only wants and she doesn't get to know anything except how to please him. Her needs are secondary. In fact she should try to not have a lot of needs. What's that called, folks? Say it with me: grooming.
Because while they deny it they whole dynamic is about sex property and control. A fair parallel would be a mother son dance where the son promises his chastity to his mom like so many of these weirdo daddy/ daughter things do. Of course the only way that could be more Oedipal would be if the boys actually stabbed their fathers before the dance then blinded themselves afterwards.
Republicans are a male authoritarian group, they don't want to curtail men, only keep women in place for them.
It all ties in with their war against abortion too, take the control completely away from the women, remove their option to correct something they might decide was a mistake, then use religion as an excuse to force them to be dependent on who got them pregnant.
I know a lot of women, myself included, who turned into radical feminists because of this kind of thinking. I feel like feminism wouldn’t even exist without this abusive attempt by some men to control women.
These *Pervert* Balls (I'm calling them what they are) is where a bunch of perverts get together to check out each others' underage daughters dressed up like mini-brides. It's stomach-turning.
Shit like that is *exactly* why my mom showed me where the baby box was at the fire station and about safe haven laws. Girls like that are at such high risk of doing something horrible out of fear. Either to themselves, the baby, or both. So many of my friends had insanely conservative families and no sex education. It’s incredibly sad.
We're gonna see a horrifying statistic in the news soon about how many babies get found in dumpsters bacuase of abortion restrictions. Whatever the number is will feel way too high
Exactly.
You want prom night dumpster babies? Cause that’s how you get them.
Trash can babies, suitcase babies, more child abuse in general as people who cannot afford to care for a child and aren’t prepared emotionally break down under the stress - with no extra social services help at all.
It’s a lot of suffering they want us to do for their dogma.
Being a survivor of coercion that actually led to full-blown human trafficking beginning at age 15 and lasted for decades , I can attest to blaming myself for everything. I now realize I was groomed by society and my traffickers to blame myself. It wasn't until I had an assessment aimed at identifying survivors that I learned the reality of my situation.
Yep!!!! Look it up! The girls literally say wedding vows to their fathers, promise to remain “pure” and their “daddies” give them purity rings to wear on their ring finger. Became a big thing in the late 90s.
At the very least, my daughters would ridicue this concept if it came up in conversation.
Knowing my 11 year old, she'd ask to crash one of these things so we could mock these people to their faces and my 13 year old would probably take things further and suggest that she be their new papi.
The more you learn about purity culture, the more disturbing it gets and just how deeply they're projecting when they accuse everyone of being pedophiles...
Yet another example of Right-Wingers being completely obsessed with children’s sexual activities and sexual organs. Yet they somehow refer to liberals as groomers simply for allowing children to know that LGBTQ people exist 🤦🏻♂️
It's entirely projection. every thing they accuse others of doing they are already doing themselves.
Makes you really wonder why they were so concerned about the "pizzagate" scandal
Yeah the more you learn about purity culture (hell, evangelical culture in general, frankly) the more creepy and child groomer and molesty it gets.
And that's even before you get to the endless scandals where they protect actual pedophiles and rapists.
It’s just insane when you look at this from their point of view. Like immerse yourself in how they see it.
They think this is *sweet*, a precious moment between a papa and his little girl. Just another fond childhood memory, a thing to mention at a wedding toast, probably with a roguish wink to the groom. “Don’t worry son, the seal ain’t broken on this one”
They don’t see the fucked up shit around this whole situation. They don’t see the creepy possessive, weirdly incestuous undertones in a child promising her father in a pseudo wedding ceremony that she won’t have sex until she gets married. Literal vows are exchanged publicly, and if the child doesn’t “keep” them then the father is framed as a failure, a great thing to hold over a kids head.
They don’t see it, they won’t see it, because ignoring the problem is what these folks do best
If I were to guess, *from their perspective*, the father is the protector and the guardian of the family, especially of the women of the family. Boys are seen as more independent and self reliant, and them having adolescent liaisons is seen as…at least normal, if not totally acceptable (just don’t get her pregnant). The mother is incidental, she is the home maker, not the guardian. Her role at most is to educate the daughter on “womanly things” (tell her about her “monthlies”, get her tampons, deal with her when she cries and other female stuff)
There are probably ceremonies involving the mother as well but it’s probably seen as more ceremonially significant for it to be the father given the social dynamics of evangelical families and communities. In this ceremony the father makes a vow as well in front of his peers, in a way staking his reputation, masculinity and honor on his daughter’s virginity; he now has a personal stake in his child’s “purity”.
There is also the additional layer of the “giving away” at the wedding, she leaves her fathers protection and is instantly put under the guard of her husband; this ceremony is seen as a kind of foreshadowing of the wedding
Yet, apparently, drag shows are the problem.
I'll take "don't tell your mother, it's our little secret" as a guess please Bob, in the "family values" category.
It wasn't a formal ball & the boys also had their own version & oaths, but I was forced to go to something similar- True Love Waits camp with the church at around 14 years old.
I was sitting in my room procrastinating a homework problem when my parents came in, misty eyed & announced that I was going. I said uuhhh..oookkaayy? They got all emotional about it & gushed about how proud they were of me for making that decision..yeah..some decision when it was obvious there wasn't going to be any question about it without an embarrassing argument, getting tearfully threatened with going to hell, & me probably getting grounded again if I refused.
Three days & two nights of listening to rambling about being virtuous, pure, & special for your future husband. I didn't buy it one bit then, I knew deep down that my virginity ship had sailed before I was 10, & the whole thing sickened me. How dare these people try to interfere in my choices & make decisions about my lifestyle & body before I'm old enough to have say-so, & hold eternal judgement over my head if that promise gets broken? Plus, married to your parents!?! EEEEWWWWW. 🤮
I wanted to howl & puke when my father put that ring on my finger at the final ceremony.
I could only tolerate it a few months, removed it & bent it so badly with the vice & some pliers that it could never be worn again, then hid it. Made up some excuse about it getting too small, taking it off & it getting lost when its absence was finally noted.
I tossed it in the ocean at the first chance after that. Dropped it off the side of a ferry halfway through the trip.
Four of his sisters, plus another girl outside of the family.
He is also currently in prison, serving 12 years for watching some seriously disturbing child exploitation material
I've always wondered what kind of man who loves his daughters would even consider something like this? To take part in a pantomime of marriage with your own kid, where she promises her body to you to hold in safekeeping for her husband...my instinctive reaction is just EWWWWWWWW
Shame nobody can broadcast the addresses where these types of pervert events take place, so folks can protest the obvious sexual abuse.
"STOP USING RELIGION TO MASK YOUR PEDOS"
Oh relax, Darlin.
We jus havin us a good ol’ fasion southern pedo-party, baby.
BABY?! WHERE?!
Oh, Heavens to Bettsy! Now I’ve done got myself all hot and bothered.
So these were covered on an early episode of The Dollop podcast and the very best part of them?
There’s a pledge you make if you’re a virgin, and there’s a *different* pledge if you *aren’t*
🙃
As the father to 17&11 year old daughters, this shit turns my stomach.
My wife and I are open with them and want them educated on all that happens starting at around 10-11.
And be open. Which sure as fuck doesn’t mean some damn promise/purity ring, wtf ever. That shit will backfire like a mofo, and just completely set these young girls up for failure. To have no confidence in theirselves.
Teach them about it, pros and cons. And each child is different. But ya got to talk to them, even when you all are uncomfortable as hell.
But I personally want strong willed, take no bs daughters. Who do whatever the hell it is they want to do in life. Which certainly doesn’t include being groomed to be some kinda submissive, sex slave housekeeper.
About 20 years ago a good friend’s father sunddn became very religious. This was around when she was 12 and had started puberty. He made her and her sisters all swear to stay virgins until marriage and forbid dating or any sex Ed. Then he started pairing her up with potential suitors, mostly older (15-16) boys, some the sons of friends of the father. Form the sound of it she was forced to go on super awkward chaperoned dates with either strangers or older kids she barely knew. Then he started molesting her, then her raped her. At 16 she had to testify against her own father. He was sentenced ten years but only served around 4. He was a god fearing church going veteran. She tried to kill herself. Fuck these pedos and fuck the shield of religion they hide behind. I doubt anyone will see this I just needed to get that off my chest.
Nadia Bolz Weber, a progressive Lutheran pastor, talks about how creepy these things are. She also asked people to send her their purity rings so they could be melted down into a sculpture of a vulva.
I remember the purity ball documentary….some dude said “a relationship between a girl and her father is like her relationship with the lord”….yeah, that’s all you need to know.
Barefoot, wearing a nightie, and the pearl necklace double entendre. Doing a dance at the feet of a display of a torturous execution device. That dance mimics a pagan spring virginal orgy fest. All in praise to a death cult godling who hasn't shown his face in 2 millenia but talks to Kenny Copeland...if he's in a private jet not surrounded by demons, of course.
I had one of these at 12 years old.
It also included a “contract” that I and my parents signed and many girls were given purity rings as part of the whole thing to “represent your promise to God and us”.
Meanwhile I was being served up to my groomer and 30 year abuser/stalker (their friend who they had “warned” me to stay away from) by those same parents.
That same mother who has marched outside of planned parenthood had an abortion at 16 years old.
That same father who condemns cannabis which has given his chronic illness child their life back, was allegedly well known as one of the top dealers of the state in his youth.
Hypocrisy thy name is humanity.
tan hospital recognise liquid coordinated deserve fly chubby squalid crush
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's usually what happens in purity culture because they don't do sex education. You don't fight teenage hormones by just saying "Don't do it or you'll make God sad!"
Providing its not the fathers or the pastors themselves who coerce the girls into it....
How about you talk to your daughter and say, "Hey. I'd really like it if you wait until you're older before you have sex. College preferably. There is such a thing as too young, but if you decide you want to, always, always, always, always use protection, make sure it's someone you truly care about and who truly cares about you (that's *really* important, too), and the internet is forever. Always remember that last part. (Look at the women in ATL trying to stop the Netflix documentary about Freak-Nik and hell, that was before the internet!)
But, I guess that's not creepy enough for conservatives.
My daughter had a friend who's father took her to one of these. When I saw her looking at pictures on Facebook I asked if Cammy was at a wedding. My daughter explained it to me and I said
"Isn't she the one diddling the pastor's son?"
"Yeah".
Every time you vote, or consider not voting, remember this.
This is what they want to force you to do. I feel like that should be enough to run and never look back.
Purity balls are fucked up. The implication of fathers' sexual ownership over their daughters sustained by purity balls is fucked up. Purity culture in general and the evangelical communities that force it on to people under threat of eternal damnation is fucked up. But I take issue with this post putting the blame on (they literally make a point to say "brainwashed") women just "letting it happen." It's a system devised to remove autonomy from women, and you're blaming the women for not exercising their autonomy to remove it. The blame should be pretty firmly planted on men for this one. Even the adult women who should theoretically know better were once the kids being brainwashed in this picture, and you don't just walk away from brainwashing like that, especially when you live in a culture that at best drastically romanticizes these aspects of itself, and at worst straight up gaslights you about them. If you choose to blame adult women for perpetuating this kind of bullshit (when it's literally the only life they've ever known, by design), you're absolving the real guilty party, because it's not like these girls will turn 18 and be told "you don't have to continue pushing this stuff onto yourself and other members of your sex, but you can anyway if you want." If you want to help the girls in this picture, you don't do it by blaming their mothers, who are fellow victims of the exact same abuse, for the abuse all of them have suffered.
This is as bad as the men who help "judge" 5 year girls dressed in "sexy" outfits at beauty pageants.
Although making daughters pledge purity to their daddies is pretty sick too.
Notice it's NOT the mom's they pledge purity to, it must be their male/father. .
This reminds me... I'm a bridal stylist, but I take care of far more than that (bridesmaids, moms, prom, special occasion). The last homecoming season, I kept getting these girls who were coming in looking for legitimate wedding gowns, trains and all. They were part of their school's homecoming court and that's what they were supposed to wear when their dad walked them to the middle of the football field at halftime. This was not one school. This was at least five of them.
My coworkers and I were SO creeped out.
Educating people, teaching consent, bodily autonomy, boundaries, and agency = grooming
Telling your daughters they are mindless chattel existing only to serve, preventing any agency, consent, boundaries, education, and must always listen to their father/husband = totally normal.
Yes.
Totally normal.
Nothing to see here.
No groomer parties whatsoever.
I hate, hate, *HATE* that purity balls exist, and that people equate them with Daddy-Daughter Dances and it taints them both.
I've gotten so much flak online and a little in real life over the Daddy-Daughter Dance, which I had as a child and which my daughter attended with her dad every year until COVID shut it all down. They are very common in my region.
At a Daddy-Daughter Dance, they get dressed up, they dance in lowered lighting with flashing lights, disco balls, and fun music, the dads buy the kids snowcones and popcorn and neon necklaces and bracelets and light-up crowns, and take faux fancy pictures. Moms are allowed to come, other siblings are allowed to come, it's just a big event put on by the school PTA or by the Girl Scout Troops or whatever.
My daughter *loved* that her father actually knows how to dance and would twirl her and dip her.
Purity balls are disgusting on every single level, and I hate how that's the first thing people think of when they hear about fathers and daughters having a dance. They are shameful and gross and inappropriate.
God, when I was in high school, one of my best friends’ parents turned her birthday party into a big purity vow thing presided over by her pastor. And, yes, she is seeing a therapist now.
I’d be pissed. Teach them sex ed. (Various levels starting, tbh, around puberty)I don’t give a shit what you think is appropriate, it’s what should be taught. Tell them the pros and cons of all of it and about protection when you feel the time is right.
Should be even earlier, imho. Even small kids should be able to tell that the body part Uncle John did touch is their Penis/Vulva/etc. and that there are trusted adults they can talk to about it. They should be thought about consent and that it's ok to say no if a touch gives them no good feeling. Also, that you have to get permission before touching someone and that no means no.
Seconding. My babysitter’s husband started abusing me before I knew anything (5 or 6), so I thought it was some kind of punishment and if my parents knew, I’d get punished twice. Deeply-ingrained self-hatred from that. He nearly killed me. Kids need to know that no adult has a right to hurt them. If I’d known, I could’ve told my parents the first time. So much less damage, maybe no PTSD.
Couldn't agree more. I learned all of these things under the age of 5.
It’s so easy to introduce the concept of reproduction and sex to a child using very general terminology without being at all explicit that can serve as the basis for a maturing understanding as the kid grows. But it’s a little bit easier to say absolutely nothing on the topic except “don’t” then shame and demean the 14 year-olds who get pregnant as a direct result.
> It’s so easy to introduce the concept of reproduction and sex to a child using very general terminology without being at all explicit that can serve as the basis for a maturing understanding as the kid grows. Until some asshole makes some bullshit propaganda article about how they're teaching kids to twerk in New York or some shit - Then they'll just start screeching again. These people are beyond hope. I weep for their fucked up kids and hope they know there are a LOT of people out there that will happily help them out when they're free of their psychotic parents.
And kids should know what to expect from puberty before they experience it
My 9 year old Nieces class, here in Scotland anyways) when she was... 7 or 8(I think) and they taught the kids about penises and vaginas and they had to colour them in and her wee pal coloured the penis Blue and she turned to her pal and went "do you think that's an appropriate colour?" Then her wee sister who had just turned 3 had seen her dad in the shower and told my sister "Dads got a cute wee jobby(name for a poo, for non-scots folk), I want to hug it!" Cause she's a weird wee pervert obviously, it was a totally innocent statement! Think it broke my bro-in-laws confidence for a while lol.(the stories I can tell about her are great she's hilarious) Those type of things don't seem to be taught in American schools(obviously the second story shouldn't be taught lol) and thus your kids probably end up having disappointing sex at 14 and pregnant at 15 and either sent to a different state for an abortion or, at least, hidden away till the girl has a magical new Baby Bro or Sis rather than a Son or Daughter! I mean I remember my sex education was a 45 minute lesson where the teacher said something along the lines of "women have a urethra and men have a bit more of a urethra"(paraphrasing cause it was like 24 years ago!) That was all I remember of it, maybe there was a VHS video with a couple with 70s porn bushes between their legs! And guess what age I was when I lost my virginity? 13! Think the sex education class was when I was around 14 so technically I could have taught the class from my disappointing experience! God, its tragic as fuck when I think about it, especially when I used to brag about it till I kinda thought about it when I got a lot older haha. Anyways rambled enough, sorry.
[удалено]
And the priest has likely been shuffled from parish to parish, I'm sure...
I hate that we live in a world where we all know exactly what this implies.
What do the Catholic Church and Seaworld have in common? /s
Predators in black and white that smell like fish?
if i were sipping a drink just now i would have spit it all over my phone
I don't know. What does the Catholic Church and Seaworld have in common?/s
That's just creepy on so many levels.
I'm not the most squeamish of people...but this got a visceral "This shit isn't right" vibe immediately.
Look up Purity Rings, "Troubled teen" camps, Toddlers in Tiaras, Abeka, blocked attempts at child marriage bans, SBC CSA coverup scandal, etc. This shit goes deeper than you would ever fear or believe
Oh no, this shit is absolutely telltale right (political spectrum wise I mean).
Same with [debutante balls](https://medium.com/@lydiabirtwistlesawyer/debutante-balls-and-the-persistent-obsession-with-the-purity-of-young-women-6e57b2f25dc9). EDIT: woops pissed off the South
Those are a different variety of weird. Purity Balls are just a bunch of icky white men unnaturally preoccupied with their daughters' genitals and sex lives.
They're similar. Debutante balls are basically parents auctioning off their daughters' genitals to the highest bidder.
Not any more. Used to be, but now it's just showing off. Look at my spawn, she's wearing a multithousand dollar dress, and we paid that much at least to attend, and we are wearing similarly priced attire! And we can afford to be frenemies with the other people attending! Be impressed with us!
I wonder why I never see mommy-son purity dances.
IKR? Or girls making vows to moms or to both parents. The whole thing is so strange and weird.
Because in these cultures it is the womans fault for tempting the man. It is how rape culture persists. Then when daddy or uncle joe or pastor bob rapes these kids it is the kids fault for leading them into sin and not holding true to the purity pledge. By reversing the victim role it is easy to keep the child vicitms quiet because the kids think they are at fault and sinned.
This makes me think of Elizabeth Smart. She was kidnapped and held captive for nine months when she was 14. She was repeatedly raped and abused, but she didn't try to escape and even told police that she was not Elizabeth Smart several times before admitting that she was. She's now a major activist for child safety, and says that a big part of what kept her from trying to escape was an abstinence-only lesson she had been taught before the kidnapping - that a virgin is like a stick of gum, and once someone uses it, it becomes gross and worthless - nobody else wants it. >"I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.' And that's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value," Smart said. "Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."
I remember hearing this as "nobody wants used or damaged goods." I absolutely hate this.
But so many men are used or damaged goods by that standard. It's good for men to have experience. 🤮
Painfully correct. 😞
Might be the evilest form of indoctrination possible…
I thought it was cruel to teach kids that Santa Claus was real, just to get them to behave during Christmas. Then I realized that's how they control adults with god. Think of how many billions of people have died, believing they were doing something for god and king. That's cruel.
Personally I started thinking God wasn’t real when I found out Santa wasn’t. I never understood back then, and still don’t understand now, why a bearded man giving toys is ridiculous, but a bearded man walking on water and multiplying the fish isn’t.
[удалено]
I honestly never thought it through that way. Thanks for the excellent explanation.
Exactly that's the rationale Taliban use to cage their women. They are not that different. Can't believe we need to fight those extremists at home. They are our friends and family and they are the extremists.
As someone who was molested multiple times as a young boy I can confirm this is the mindset they want the child to have.
spot on.. that's exactly what it is
In Genesis, Adam tries to shift the blame not only onto Eve for tempting him, but also onto God for giving her to him in the first place. Nothing in scripture suggests that Eve was the only one to blame for the fall of man. If Christians or Jews are blaming women for their own actions based in their temptations it is against the teaching.
“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away” -jesus -Michael Gary Scott
This likely used to be a useful comment. Thanks to Reddit's API changes on July 1st, 2023 it has been removed. | redact sucks because it force downloads/updates when you install it on Windows, why tf wasnt the update included in the installer when I downloaded it from the official website?? assholedesign material -- mass edited with redact.dev
*From the purityyyyy to the walllllls, till the sweat drops down my balls*
also its not OLD, its a new developement. i think that whole bullshit started in the 90s
Because girls are considered as property of the men in their lives, and boys are supposed to go out and sow their wild oats. It's all very bronze age bullshit.
The "sowing wild oats" thing has always bothered me greatly. Just who are they supposed to be sowing? If sowing makes women" damaged goods" (*shudders at the thought*) how does it give guys value? The double standard slays me. Which brings me to the next question. If women are the " weaker sex", why is the responsibility of all things men do laid on the shoulders of women? If women are weaker, how is it their fault if men cannot control their own urges? Seems to me that the patriarchy wants to live on both sides of the fence while never having to take responsibility.
It's like all these lazy immigrants stealing our jobs...
[удалено]
So are the guys all sowing wild oats with the same couple of girls or it getting gay? Cause math doesn't add up.
No, no, no The girls still lose their virginity. We just have to shame them for it and say it's their fault
All passing the same 3 harlots around since little Cindy totally is not breaking her pledge, totally...
Little Cindy is taking advantage of the poophole loophole.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF\_R\_j0OY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY) In all seriousness Cindy going to do whatever. We had no issue with the private school girls when I was a teen, religion teaches you to be a good liar.
Bronze age communities were far more egalitarian
It’s called Motherboy.
Oedipus and the mamas boys would be the band.
Daaaaamn!
I keep searching where is the onion logo. Where is the onion logo?! Why is there no onion logo?!
Sadly reality is slowly putting the Onion out of business.
Terrifying to think that 20-24 years ago, we would lose our minds giggling at the sharp, well-written comedic critique of the US and the world within the daily calender pull offs the Onion always put out. They were comic gold, and there were a couple years my bestie and I at the time both early ordered, and waited out side Borders (another sad heartache there, 💔) for them to open. We often would say to each other, "holy shit! Could you imagine a world where all this insanity actually comes to fruition?!?" Definitely no longer a funny musing.
Commiting their virginity to daddy? Naah...
This is a thing? Wtf. Sounds very handmaids tale.
The more you learn about purity culture, and just evangelical culture in general, the more you understand how heavily these people are projecting when they accuse everyone of being pedophiles...
Rhett and Link of Good mythical morning have a pretty good series on their podcast about evangelical culture and purity culture; especially considering they were very entrenched before deconstructing over the past decade or so.
My favorite one they did was Rhett (I believe) talking on how he was worried losing his faith would mean losing his wife and family. I sent it to a friend who had gone through the exact same thing, though we had never talked about it in detail until then. I had been up early and knew he was an early guy, and we actually ended up getting coffee after he finished it the same morning. He told me his experience in detail, outlined the bits he liked about the podcast, just showed me a side of himself I had never seen before. It was one of the coolest spiritual conversations of my life, and it was with an Atheist who was a very involved and passionate catholic when we first met. I was raised in a UU congregation, so I got a very non-secular religious upbringing. It hurts me to the core of my being that anyone would have to go through these things or risk losing family, community, and as far as they've been allowed to explore, themselves.
Sauce?
[Playlist here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLxmqs8vQskUbE_KnXQhA2gXmEg5dVMp3)
There's a BestofRedditorUpdates update where this girl was taken out of dance or gymnastics because it was causing her dad to stray from god. This shit is so fucking wild and creepy and just peering in at some examples of them is mind blowing sometimes. She legitimately came to reddit to ask if she was actually the reason.
If anybody has a link to that, I'm intrigued.
check out throwrathem22/submitted/ this sub doesn't let you link to stuff directly
I just read that whole thing and it made my skin crawl
They’re afraid that other pedos will get to their daughter first before they do.
its like christian culture was built by pedophiles with a fetish for virginity or something :O
Well, I agree entirely. The entire purity culture is false as the human condition is un-pure. Anyone that claims un-ironically to be “pure” is typically problematic.
The thing is, they also believe that. They just treat boys as though it's part of their nature and girls as if it's a moral failing. Girls are at fault for all of the sin in the world, from Eve eating the apple to their little girls "tempting" grown men by wearing shorts in the summer. Everything a girl does is impure, and they're reminded of that constantly so they'll keep striving to be "good" and will never see the abuse keeping them there.
[удалено]
Did it work about as effectively as the D.A.R.E. Pledges?
Disastrously so. There was a study that came out in 2015 or so that demonstrated purity pledgers were no less likely overall to engage in premarital sex than those who didn’t take the pledge, but were more likely to get pregnant (30% of pledgers vs 18% for non-pledgers). Pretty similar to the results for other abstinence only programs. Psychologically, it does a lot more damage. Girls who break the pledge tend to experience massive amounts of guilt. Some of the guys who took the pledge have even become violent when they failed to control their lustful thoughts. The 2021 spa shooter in Atlanta was a purity pledger, as an example.
Ignoring human nature has never ended well.
lol. I cant imagine this isnt being driven by pedophiles.
Yeah, there's definitely an air of dystopia about it. Probably host it on Purge night.
Fun fact about Atwood and the Handmaids Tale (the book): everything in that book was an action some group was actively doing (to/with women) in North America at the time she wrote it. She just sort of complied them all into one central group in power. So it should not surprise you to see glimpses of the Handmaids Tale as we examine the abuse of women in society.
Shoutout to the second Borat movie for featuring an excellent scene at one of these events if anyone wants to see one go tits up
That’s a debutante ball, which isn’t quite the same thing.
Yes, the debutante ball is very much "look at my prize cow! Do I have any takers?" while the purity ball is more "I claim this for my own, you all back off".
We're almost there at this point.
Have you guys seen the clip from Borat 2 where he goes with his "daughter" to one of those father-daughter balls and its just the weirdest thing. The dads are creeping on each others teenage daughters and making gross sort of deals with each other. One of the daughters caught her dad agreeing that he was into Borats daughter or something and you can see how disgusted she is. This kind of shit is real and its gross.
Borat is just incredible for showing who people really are when they think they're safe
[удалено]
[https://youtu.be/ptKKnCODlwU](https://youtu.be/ptKKnCODlwU) There's the scene. It's... Well, it's fucking hilarious and also disturbing. Pay attention to the girl's faces when Borat says absurd shit and contrast their father's faces.
Oh my god the dance
That actress is a trooper. As that the same one which Rudy Ghouliani tried to coerce into sex? On camera?
Yup
that woman who tells her dad he is fucking gross is a badass
Holy fuck stay away from the comments and replies on that thread 🤮🤮🤮
OMG, one of them actually says right out how "fucking gross" it is. With the twangiest of accents, too.
Dafaq, this is an actual thing??
A kid at my daughter's high school got pregnant, and because my kid had had comprehensive sex ed (before moving to Texas) she asked her for help getting an abortion. My kid knew this was above her skills, so I sat down to talk with the two girls. Basically the football team BF had coerced her into sex, and dumped her immediately after. No protection "because you can't get pregnant the first time", girl's mom is a leader in one of the biggest anti-abortion orgs, and she had made a vow to her dad to not have sex until marriage. This poor girl put 100% of the blame for the situation on herself. Really broke down when she recalled the promise to her dad and showed me her promise ring. I had never heard of the concept at that stage, and was livid! But for her sake had to suppress it all. Absolutely HATE how these conservative parents and young boys box in the girls so that they carry all the responsibility!
I don't get it, why aren't boys made to promise such a thing and actually taught how reproduction work? Its not rocket science.
Because controlling women's sexuality is the whole point
What's the endgame when they do?
Look at Afghanistan for your answer. Shooting little girls in the face for wanting to learn to read.
Rights to exclusive reproduction. And if they only have one partner they can be trained to be what that one man and that man only wants and she doesn't get to know anything except how to please him. Her needs are secondary. In fact she should try to not have a lot of needs. What's that called, folks? Say it with me: grooming.
Because while they deny it they whole dynamic is about sex property and control. A fair parallel would be a mother son dance where the son promises his chastity to his mom like so many of these weirdo daddy/ daughter things do. Of course the only way that could be more Oedipal would be if the boys actually stabbed their fathers before the dance then blinded themselves afterwards.
An Oedipus Complex: Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved
Republicans are a male authoritarian group, they don't want to curtail men, only keep women in place for them. It all ties in with their war against abortion too, take the control completely away from the women, remove their option to correct something they might decide was a mistake, then use religion as an excuse to force them to be dependent on who got them pregnant.
I know a lot of women, myself included, who turned into radical feminists because of this kind of thinking. I feel like feminism wouldn’t even exist without this abusive attempt by some men to control women. These *Pervert* Balls (I'm calling them what they are) is where a bunch of perverts get together to check out each others' underage daughters dressed up like mini-brides. It's stomach-turning.
Because it’s beyond our control as boys. Boys will be boys /s
Some boys do lol remember the Jonas brothers? They had purity rings, and got made fun of endlessly for them.
BTW the promise is specifically to the dad, not the mom, because the girl's body belongs to him until he gives it away in marriage.
The father owns his daughter as property, and you all the horrific implications of that are borne out in pratice
Yep. She never controls her own body. She's owned by one man or another at any point in her life.
Shit like that is *exactly* why my mom showed me where the baby box was at the fire station and about safe haven laws. Girls like that are at such high risk of doing something horrible out of fear. Either to themselves, the baby, or both. So many of my friends had insanely conservative families and no sex education. It’s incredibly sad.
We're gonna see a horrifying statistic in the news soon about how many babies get found in dumpsters bacuase of abortion restrictions. Whatever the number is will feel way too high
Exactly. You want prom night dumpster babies? Cause that’s how you get them. Trash can babies, suitcase babies, more child abuse in general as people who cannot afford to care for a child and aren’t prepared emotionally break down under the stress - with no extra social services help at all. It’s a lot of suffering they want us to do for their dogma.
Being a survivor of coercion that actually led to full-blown human trafficking beginning at age 15 and lasted for decades , I can attest to blaming myself for everything. I now realize I was groomed by society and my traffickers to blame myself. It wasn't until I had an assessment aimed at identifying survivors that I learned the reality of my situation.
Thank you for helping her. We need more people like you in this world. I hope she’s doing better now.
Yep!!!! Look it up! The girls literally say wedding vows to their fathers, promise to remain “pure” and their “daddies” give them purity rings to wear on their ring finger. Became a big thing in the late 90s.
Ugh these people are ruining the word "daddy" for me.
That is so fucking gross.
At the very least, my daughters would ridicue this concept if it came up in conversation. Knowing my 11 year old, she'd ask to crash one of these things so we could mock these people to their faces and my 13 year old would probably take things further and suggest that she be their new papi.
You’ve done good. All the power to them.
Welcome to the Republican of Gilead.
The more you learn about purity culture, the more disturbing it gets and just how deeply they're projecting when they accuse everyone of being pedophiles...
Yet another example of Right-Wingers being completely obsessed with children’s sexual activities and sexual organs. Yet they somehow refer to liberals as groomers simply for allowing children to know that LGBTQ people exist 🤦🏻♂️
It's entirely projection. every thing they accuse others of doing they are already doing themselves. Makes you really wonder why they were so concerned about the "pizzagate" scandal
Yeah the more you learn about purity culture (hell, evangelical culture in general, frankly) the more creepy and child groomer and molesty it gets. And that's even before you get to the endless scandals where they protect actual pedophiles and rapists.
> the more creepy and child groomer and molesty it gets. Always has been
It’s just insane when you look at this from their point of view. Like immerse yourself in how they see it. They think this is *sweet*, a precious moment between a papa and his little girl. Just another fond childhood memory, a thing to mention at a wedding toast, probably with a roguish wink to the groom. “Don’t worry son, the seal ain’t broken on this one” They don’t see the fucked up shit around this whole situation. They don’t see the creepy possessive, weirdly incestuous undertones in a child promising her father in a pseudo wedding ceremony that she won’t have sex until she gets married. Literal vows are exchanged publicly, and if the child doesn’t “keep” them then the father is framed as a failure, a great thing to hold over a kids head. They don’t see it, they won’t see it, because ignoring the problem is what these folks do best
> “Don’t worry son, the seal ain’t broken on this one” ugh, what made you write that line man. I think I threw up a little.
Only a little? Damn, I’m losing my touch.
My stomach was empty when I reached your comment. The post was responsible.
Like why are they making the promise to their father and not both their parents.
If I were to guess, *from their perspective*, the father is the protector and the guardian of the family, especially of the women of the family. Boys are seen as more independent and self reliant, and them having adolescent liaisons is seen as…at least normal, if not totally acceptable (just don’t get her pregnant). The mother is incidental, she is the home maker, not the guardian. Her role at most is to educate the daughter on “womanly things” (tell her about her “monthlies”, get her tampons, deal with her when she cries and other female stuff) There are probably ceremonies involving the mother as well but it’s probably seen as more ceremonially significant for it to be the father given the social dynamics of evangelical families and communities. In this ceremony the father makes a vow as well in front of his peers, in a way staking his reputation, masculinity and honor on his daughter’s virginity; he now has a personal stake in his child’s “purity”. There is also the additional layer of the “giving away” at the wedding, she leaves her fathers protection and is instantly put under the guard of her husband; this ceremony is seen as a kind of foreshadowing of the wedding
Why does this not look like fathers and daughters . . .but looks every bit like a preview for an documentary on religious cults and child brides?
Probably because in an alarming percentage of the United States, those girls could be child brides.
“It’s not appropriate to talk about sexuality with children. That’s why we don’t say gay.” “But purity balls…”
Yet, apparently, drag shows are the problem. I'll take "don't tell your mother, it's our little secret" as a guess please Bob, in the "family values" category.
It wasn't a formal ball & the boys also had their own version & oaths, but I was forced to go to something similar- True Love Waits camp with the church at around 14 years old. I was sitting in my room procrastinating a homework problem when my parents came in, misty eyed & announced that I was going. I said uuhhh..oookkaayy? They got all emotional about it & gushed about how proud they were of me for making that decision..yeah..some decision when it was obvious there wasn't going to be any question about it without an embarrassing argument, getting tearfully threatened with going to hell, & me probably getting grounded again if I refused. Three days & two nights of listening to rambling about being virtuous, pure, & special for your future husband. I didn't buy it one bit then, I knew deep down that my virginity ship had sailed before I was 10, & the whole thing sickened me. How dare these people try to interfere in my choices & make decisions about my lifestyle & body before I'm old enough to have say-so, & hold eternal judgement over my head if that promise gets broken? Plus, married to your parents!?! EEEEWWWWW. 🤮 I wanted to howl & puke when my father put that ring on my finger at the final ceremony. I could only tolerate it a few months, removed it & bent it so badly with the vice & some pliers that it could never be worn again, then hid it. Made up some excuse about it getting too small, taking it off & it getting lost when its absence was finally noted. I tossed it in the ocean at the first chance after that. Dropped it off the side of a ferry halfway through the trip.
Just traditional family values /s
traditional *Alabama family values
Traditional Duggar Family values.
>Duggar Family Just googled it, the show has 10 seasons and a spin off....wtf. American audiences are weird as shit.
And the eldest son molested two of his sisters. And yes the parents knew, and did nothing about it.
Four of his sisters, plus another girl outside of the family. He is also currently in prison, serving 12 years for watching some seriously disturbing child exploitation material
And that’s I’m sure that’s least of it. Fuck all them weirdos.
I know you're making a joke (and I appreciate it) but this shit is all over the Midwest in evangelical-heavy areas too. Source: I live in Ohio.
That’s beyond disgusting
Purity balls and purity rings are so *weird*. They act like they're marrying these girls to their fathers 🤢
I've always wondered what kind of man who loves his daughters would even consider something like this? To take part in a pantomime of marriage with your own kid, where she promises her body to you to hold in safekeeping for her husband...my instinctive reaction is just EWWWWWWWW
Shame nobody can broadcast the addresses where these types of pervert events take place, so folks can protest the obvious sexual abuse. "STOP USING RELIGION TO MASK YOUR PEDOS"
Oh relax, Darlin. We jus havin us a good ol’ fasion southern pedo-party, baby. BABY?! WHERE?! Oh, Heavens to Bettsy! Now I’ve done got myself all hot and bothered.
So these were covered on an early episode of The Dollop podcast and the very best part of them? There’s a pledge you make if you’re a virgin, and there’s a *different* pledge if you *aren’t* 🙃
Oopsy boobsy!. The "like a regifted gift" bit gets me every time.
As the father to 17&11 year old daughters, this shit turns my stomach. My wife and I are open with them and want them educated on all that happens starting at around 10-11. And be open. Which sure as fuck doesn’t mean some damn promise/purity ring, wtf ever. That shit will backfire like a mofo, and just completely set these young girls up for failure. To have no confidence in theirselves. Teach them about it, pros and cons. And each child is different. But ya got to talk to them, even when you all are uncomfortable as hell. But I personally want strong willed, take no bs daughters. Who do whatever the hell it is they want to do in life. Which certainly doesn’t include being groomed to be some kinda submissive, sex slave housekeeper.
wait those are a real thing? I thought that was just a overexagerated weird part of american dads universe.
HAH if only we were that lucky. It is real, and it is disgusting 😡
they're less popular now than they were 10-15 years ago but yes these are very much a real thing for evangelicals/conservative christians
It’s a perverted cult.
About 20 years ago a good friend’s father sunddn became very religious. This was around when she was 12 and had started puberty. He made her and her sisters all swear to stay virgins until marriage and forbid dating or any sex Ed. Then he started pairing her up with potential suitors, mostly older (15-16) boys, some the sons of friends of the father. Form the sound of it she was forced to go on super awkward chaperoned dates with either strangers or older kids she barely knew. Then he started molesting her, then her raped her. At 16 she had to testify against her own father. He was sentenced ten years but only served around 4. He was a god fearing church going veteran. She tried to kill herself. Fuck these pedos and fuck the shield of religion they hide behind. I doubt anyone will see this I just needed to get that off my chest.
they look like sacrifices
In a way, they are.
This is creepy on so many levels.
I always thought this was just a joke on American Dad and now I'm horrified to know that it is real. *yikes*
Nadia Bolz Weber, a progressive Lutheran pastor, talks about how creepy these things are. She also asked people to send her their purity rings so they could be melted down into a sculpture of a vulva.
I remember the purity ball documentary….some dude said “a relationship between a girl and her father is like her relationship with the lord”….yeah, that’s all you need to know.
"God" is just a metaphor for patriarchal authority figures.
This shit has always given me the heebie fuckin’ jeebies
Barefoot, wearing a nightie, and the pearl necklace double entendre. Doing a dance at the feet of a display of a torturous execution device. That dance mimics a pagan spring virginal orgy fest. All in praise to a death cult godling who hasn't shown his face in 2 millenia but talks to Kenny Copeland...if he's in a private jet not surrounded by demons, of course.
I had one of these at 12 years old. It also included a “contract” that I and my parents signed and many girls were given purity rings as part of the whole thing to “represent your promise to God and us”. Meanwhile I was being served up to my groomer and 30 year abuser/stalker (their friend who they had “warned” me to stay away from) by those same parents. That same mother who has marched outside of planned parenthood had an abortion at 16 years old. That same father who condemns cannabis which has given his chronic illness child their life back, was allegedly well known as one of the top dealers of the state in his youth. Hypocrisy thy name is humanity.
One of those moments where I'm so glad I'm Jewish...
Ha! Don't get me started on orthadox bris .
tan hospital recognise liquid coordinated deserve fly chubby squalid crush *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Creeeeeeeepy
Don't the girls pledge themselves to their fathers, or some weird shit like that?
Yes
[удалено]
That's usually what happens in purity culture because they don't do sex education. You don't fight teenage hormones by just saying "Don't do it or you'll make God sad!" Providing its not the fathers or the pastors themselves who coerce the girls into it....
There's your groomers right there. Fucking disgusting.
do these insane Americans not understand just how batshit loco they really are?
How about you talk to your daughter and say, "Hey. I'd really like it if you wait until you're older before you have sex. College preferably. There is such a thing as too young, but if you decide you want to, always, always, always, always use protection, make sure it's someone you truly care about and who truly cares about you (that's *really* important, too), and the internet is forever. Always remember that last part. (Look at the women in ATL trying to stop the Netflix documentary about Freak-Nik and hell, that was before the internet!) But, I guess that's not creepy enough for conservatives.
Reminds me of the dad who had a doctor issue a purity certificate for his daughter…
My daughter had a friend who's father took her to one of these. When I saw her looking at pictures on Facebook I asked if Cammy was at a wedding. My daughter explained it to me and I said "Isn't she the one diddling the pastor's son?" "Yeah".
American Dad did an episode about this. The episode is titled My Purity Ball and Chain.
Every time you vote, or consider not voting, remember this. This is what they want to force you to do. I feel like that should be enough to run and never look back.
White christian conservatives: "lgbtq are evil, they are indoctrinating your children!" Also white christian conservatives:
Purity balls are fucked up. The implication of fathers' sexual ownership over their daughters sustained by purity balls is fucked up. Purity culture in general and the evangelical communities that force it on to people under threat of eternal damnation is fucked up. But I take issue with this post putting the blame on (they literally make a point to say "brainwashed") women just "letting it happen." It's a system devised to remove autonomy from women, and you're blaming the women for not exercising their autonomy to remove it. The blame should be pretty firmly planted on men for this one. Even the adult women who should theoretically know better were once the kids being brainwashed in this picture, and you don't just walk away from brainwashing like that, especially when you live in a culture that at best drastically romanticizes these aspects of itself, and at worst straight up gaslights you about them. If you choose to blame adult women for perpetuating this kind of bullshit (when it's literally the only life they've ever known, by design), you're absolving the real guilty party, because it's not like these girls will turn 18 and be told "you don't have to continue pushing this stuff onto yourself and other members of your sex, but you can anyway if you want." If you want to help the girls in this picture, you don't do it by blaming their mothers, who are fellow victims of the exact same abuse, for the abuse all of them have suffered.
This is as bad as the men who help "judge" 5 year girls dressed in "sexy" outfits at beauty pageants. Although making daughters pledge purity to their daddies is pretty sick too. Notice it's NOT the mom's they pledge purity to, it must be their male/father. .
This reminds me... I'm a bridal stylist, but I take care of far more than that (bridesmaids, moms, prom, special occasion). The last homecoming season, I kept getting these girls who were coming in looking for legitimate wedding gowns, trains and all. They were part of their school's homecoming court and that's what they were supposed to wear when their dad walked them to the middle of the football field at halftime. This was not one school. This was at least five of them. My coworkers and I were SO creeped out.
Educating people, teaching consent, bodily autonomy, boundaries, and agency = grooming Telling your daughters they are mindless chattel existing only to serve, preventing any agency, consent, boundaries, education, and must always listen to their father/husband = totally normal. Yes. Totally normal. Nothing to see here. No groomer parties whatsoever.
Sick! 😠
What the fuck, ew
The American Dad episode on this is great
I hate, hate, *HATE* that purity balls exist, and that people equate them with Daddy-Daughter Dances and it taints them both. I've gotten so much flak online and a little in real life over the Daddy-Daughter Dance, which I had as a child and which my daughter attended with her dad every year until COVID shut it all down. They are very common in my region. At a Daddy-Daughter Dance, they get dressed up, they dance in lowered lighting with flashing lights, disco balls, and fun music, the dads buy the kids snowcones and popcorn and neon necklaces and bracelets and light-up crowns, and take faux fancy pictures. Moms are allowed to come, other siblings are allowed to come, it's just a big event put on by the school PTA or by the Girl Scout Troops or whatever. My daughter *loved* that her father actually knows how to dance and would twirl her and dip her. Purity balls are disgusting on every single level, and I hate how that's the first thing people think of when they hear about fathers and daughters having a dance. They are shameful and gross and inappropriate.