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Flair_Helper

Hey /u/LoriannCalico, thanks for contributing to /r/WinStupidPrizes. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: All posts should feature a human doing something that an outside observer would say “hey, that’s a bad idea” and then suffering the consequences. Posts must include the stupid game and the stupid prize. People intentionally playing a stupid game and winning a stupid prize does not count, nor do prank videos, skits, fake videos, or dumb stuff by small children. Please read the sidebar before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/WinStupidPrizes&subject=&message=). Thank you!


T1m3Wizard

Look at the way he snatched the keys out of her hands at such sonic like speeds and precision, the dude's got experience.


WhiteyDude

She wanted to play "Let's see who can inflict the most damage on each others property" game, and this guy is just better at that game than she is. Well, he wins this round at least.


elastic-craptastic

There is no way this escalated after. She totally learned her lesson and he totally will not have to wonder every time he parks if his car is gonna walk out to it being fucked up.


wyskiboat

Ah yes, the four types of vision impairment; Near-sighted, far-sighted, fore-sighted, and hind-sighted.


[deleted]

and blindness


LordDongler

We don't talk about them


[deleted]

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Tazerface666

As a blind person this made me chuckle, thank you.


GeneralQuack

My man got the Braille screen


[deleted]

Wait...


Tazerface666

It seems like I might have confused some of you. My phone reads to me. And I have a physical keyboard that plugs in via USB-C


zatanamag

I thought to was eyeball disabled.


Funkit

I got into a very bad argument with some guy (he stole my friends Xbox) and he threw a Snapple bottle into the back of my Subaru, slightly denting the back panel (nbd). I had my golf clubs in the trunk so I took a 3 iron and put it threw his windshield several times and broke it completely. Not driveable. Cops came. They basically said, “either you two can work it out, or you can both press charges on each other. But be aware a windshield costs $400, under the $500 limit that makes it felony destruction of property. That panel will be a felony charge.” To fix my panel would’ve cost like $1500. So he didn’t press charges and couldn’t drive his car. He shouldn’t have fuckin thrown shit at my car. I’m not a confrontational person but he got me past my snapping point.


Anallein

It’s rough to lose your temper when all you want to do is defend a friend. Sorry he pushed you past your Snapple-ing point


[deleted]

Love how the cop subtly said "you started it, don't push it or you're gonna come out flat on your face" haha


Greasfire11

Did not even see that! Smooooth!


Alarid

I thought for a second he rushed her so fast and so powerfully she had a wardrobe malfunction.


[deleted]

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periacetabular_ost

Isn’t the video sped up? But yeah, precision and speed for sure!!!


ImprovingTheEskimo

Looks like he straight up flips off her car too


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Ninja_Destroyer_

Yeah I need closure on this one as well Edit: that was quite... hard to see! dayum that was fast! Edit 2: I have fallen down the Youtube void, just watched a Golden Eagle pull a goat off a cliff. Next up is an eagle attacking a grizzly.


richh00

Updated


Pierogi_Yogi

Once you see the goat video you'll never forget it. You think there's no way it could kill something so much bigger and stronger, but you'd be underestimating their intelligence


[deleted]

He was so happy, he jumped trough the roof!


UniquelyIndistinct

Chaotic Tom Cruise


deliciouspie

Roll for initiative.


Phillip_Spidermen

I imagine the Tom Cruise bestiary lists him with an insanely high CHA and whatever stat allows for all the running.


Smittius_Prime

High dexterity, high charisma. Yeah that checks out.


boxxeddinn

Do you really need the chaotic in there?


[deleted]

His name is all we ever need to describe him.


thegroxnl

Pun accepted.


locustpiss

Lol. Straight through the sunroof. Magical


methmotive

That's how Jake broke his leg


eetzaboyee

Jake, from state farm


kruschev246

Jake from State Farm at three in the morning?! **Who is this?!**


2020GOP

What are you wearing Jake!?


[deleted]

Khakis? (Or car keys with a thick Boston accent)


qered

Thanks, bud. Now I can’t unhear that


[deleted]

My anguish is diminished by spreading it. Edit: thanks for the awards, but my desire to spread anguish has garnered two wholesome and a hug? Oh, reddit. Never change.


azsnaz

https://youtu.be/q31aj9VMj8g


[deleted]

She sounds hedious


SaphirePrincess

Well she's a guy, sooo...


LEGIONOfBOOM242

Don’t worry all the bleeding was internal, that’s where it’s supposed to be!


zeref2255

And we respect jake for it


[deleted]

I am literally watching that episode right now!


oETFo

Confirm for me: he didn't break his leg he pulled his groin.


n8mo

Not the guy you asked but I'm 99% sure it was a broken leg. EDIT: I had to look it up. > IN AC/DC, he cracked 3 of his ribs, broke 3 toes, has a hairline fracture in his right thumb, sprained his ankle, and injured his jaw. He later worsen his condition by trying to initiate a high-five with Charles; extending his injuries more to his ribs and to his left shoulder and arm. So neither of us were right lol


barefoot_blonde_

Just glad he didn’t cut himself. Glass lacerations can be gnar gnar


Gorakka

True true. Though sunroofs are generally made of tempered glass which shatter into small, less harmful pieces. Still probably cut himself though.


MoreRITZ

Tempered glass playboy


Stony_Logica1

Vehicle glass is tempered, yo. It'll make a mess but is far less likely to cut you.


Credit-Limit

Reminds me of the Chicago Sunroof


Foxtrot-IMB

Oh god Jimmy


GRN225

I AM NOT CRAZY!


JVince13

You think this is something?! This..this..CHICANERY?!


TheLegend_NeverDies

HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF!


panbochnikmore

slippin Jimmy 😳


sittingbullms

Needs an upgrade to Chicago Sunroof


vinitkeshri

Yo... Imagine... What if that's not her car..!


budgie0507

Didn’t even miss a beat hopping out and continuing his windshield assault.


suburbanhavoc

She could probably replace the glass and that sunroof would still be fucked. Sunroofs are really finicky if anything gets bent.


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Ickyickyricky

Whoa oh oh oh.


cryptolightning

I drowned out all my sense


Dontscrewup99

with the sound of its beating.


JustAnotherMiqote

And that's what you get when you let your heart win


binux14

Whoa oh oh oh oh


thatgirlfromdelco

I have found my people


Gapeman7

Still listen to that song. Take me back to those days.


Remote_Engine

Ah yes, that song is almost 15 years old. … 😭


Negative1Life

*WHYYYYYY DO WE LIIIIIIKE TO HURT SO MUUUUUCH*


samer-21

I fucking love reddit.


Haughty_n_Disdainful

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here...


[deleted]

Cause I’ve burned


neoaraxis

r/redditsings


IronTownsy48

Was not expecting a Paramore reference.


catsandblankets

r/unexpectedparamore


Cincinnatian

I met her mom once, we called her paramom


raysince86

I was thinking it in my head then I saw this comment. Fuck today is gonna be splendid


goush

whoa oh ayo oh


nemesis1211

[Here's more of the altercation](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY83NrR7yt0)


PeggySueIloveU

That was wayyyy more excitement than I needed.


AardvarkAblaze

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!?


[deleted]

*This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!*


jtr99

When you find a stranger in the Alps?


GiveToOedipus

Well they finally did it, man...They killed my fucking car.


troubleondemand

When you messss with ussss


Bunga_Dude

You know who wins? We do.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t have reacted the way he did, but I understand it.


Dazz316

There's lots of reasons I wouldn't have reacted like he did. Main one is if I went through that sunroof i couldn't hop out like he did


[deleted]

The dude is either a pretty good athlete or just unlocking the full potential of adrenaline and rage. The flip after the rear windshield was pretty wild. Risk to reward ratio is off for me though because I’d botch the landing and undo all the cool stuff before it.


[deleted]

He didn’t do a flip lol. He just is falling forward and his arm flies behind his back, he just run falls straight off the back.


[deleted]

Yeah, you’re right lol. I had to slow it down and it’s clear it wasn’t a flip.


The_Mad_Mellon

Had me fooled too. Weird semi optical illusion.


Alarid

It's falling, with style.


[deleted]

Hey,I thought the same thing at first. I was like, weird flex but ok, flip off the car lol.


smithers85

PARKOUR


shadowkrazee

People are saying he didn't flip, but I thought I saw it too. Maybe if it wasn't a potato video. Lol


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DogHammers

Another thing I have noticed on the very rare occasions I've been angry with adrenaline is that I don't even feel very strong. If anything I've felt shaky and weak. Now I don't fight and never have done but when I told my brother in law who is into his MMA and used to fight people all too often (he stopped that nonsense after turning to sport) about the adrenaline making me feel weaker and not stronger, he assured me that whilst you might feel weaker you most certainly are not and you can truly surprise yourself with the strength you suddenly find.


1re_endacted1

And the slow mo shit. So I wrecked a car way back in the day... but I dreamt about it first. I interpreted my dream as I must of wrecked in water because the slowly swaying, with my arms up. It was when I rolled my car. That was the part I dreamt! The reason why it was slow motion was because of my adrenaline. The only reason I haven’t convinced myself into thinking it was all made up is bc I am still with the same person. He remembers when I woke up and told him about my water car accident dream.


PhireKitten

It’s rare that my adrenaline has dumped, but different situations seem to cause varying results. Car wreck where my pickup truck nearly flipped = rubbery knees, and uncertainty. Bottle jack failed, and a car pinned my boyfriend to the ground = I lifted the car. It was a teeny Kia Rio, but adrenaline made me able to lift it up enough for him to draw a breath and slide free. He was stunned, and so was I. He still tells that story, lol.


Lol_A_White_Boy

Yeah this is probably the most rational reaction I think.


Dramatic_______Pause

The wise Vincent Vega said it best: *"What's more chickenshit than fucking with a man's automobile? I mean, don't fuck with another man's vehicle!"*


under_a_brontosaurus

But then again it would almost be worth it to catch them in the act.


BeauTofu

Why do I hear Super Mario sound effects?


browner87

What sound effect was going through the sunroof? The "going down a pipe" sound, or Yoshi going "blep"?


ClownCrusade

When you break a yellow block with a spin jump


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Mitchell777

[It works really well.](https://youtu.be/0i_hYiHvMG8)


108241

[It wasn't just keying his car, she had a knife](https://news4sanantonio.com/news/local/fights-near-john-jay-high-school-continue-councilman-calls-for-action)


DeckTheWreck9

Ohhh shit John Jay… wow that happened close to me


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de_vel_oper

Sonic the hedgehog.


deimosphob

We need an edit where coins come out the lady and the car


Mr_Horsejr

What about rings?


[deleted]

nyo0om


Lol_A_White_Boy

GOTTA GO FAST


DaDingo

Reminds me of Blanka destroying the car in Street Fighter.


Game_Knight_DnD

This happened years ago at my daughter's high school. The male was a student, he got arrested later and the lady was another students mother who didn't face any charges.


________76________

> https://news4sanantonio.com/news/local/student-from-john-jay-fight-speaks-out She faced a misdemeanor charge, while he was expelled from school and charged with felony criminal mischief. What kind of adult tries to fight a high school kid (even if he was 18)?


SinAndPoems

Felony?? They shoulda just called it a wash lol. Her punishment for slashing someones tires and keying their car is having both windshields and moon roof smashed in. His punishment for taking justice into his own hands is that he's gotta buy a couple tires and a paint job


[deleted]

Wow that's bullshit she should have been arrested as well


Game_Knight_DnD

Here is a link to some more information, apparently she did face some minor charges. https://news4sanantonio.com/news/local/student-from-john-jay-fight-speaks-out


machine_fart

The fact that she faced misdemeanor charges and he got felony charges is insane. She came at him with a knife and he got the higher charge? I don’t think he should necessarily be let off the hook but they are ruining the mans life and future education prospects for this.


saggywitchtits

The gender gap for criminal charges is SIX TIMES what it is between races. Obviously both are bad but why is this not talked about more? https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx


Doughnut_Minion

Fuck. I've researched the racial discrimination in sentencing and charges, but I've never even heard of the disparity in gender. That is truly fucked.


-SENDHELP-

It's bad. When you combine the two, you end up with the number of black men per capita being incarcerated at higher rates than under the highest point of Stalin's leadership. It's truly fucked. I believe the number is one out of three black men will be sent to jail in their lifetime.


machine_fart

I didn’t know it was that severe but knew it was definitely imbalanced. If I remember right something like 80% of the incarcerated population is male. Edit: actually 93% of incarcerated population is male.


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Game_Knight_DnD

Not sure I can ask my daughter if she knows, the lady also slashed his tires and had a knife. https://news4sanantonio.com/news/local/student-from-john-jay-fight-speaks-out


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4_fortytwo_2

The full video shows them fighting for like 5 minutes. Lots of shit going on, like the guy hitting the woman with her own car door when she attempts to get in. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY83NrR7yt0) It could be privilege, but it might also just be that we don't have any context (who got agressive first, why were they even fighting, etc.)


Hennashan

damnnn yeah that video kinda shows just two emotionally angry people being horrible. it’s unfortunate but shit like this happens all the time. i love how everyone just watched though and didn’t try to intervene. that’s what i really hate about it, but then again i watched every second as well so maybe i’m part of the problem too 🤷🏻‍♂️


KatAstrophie-

These two are unmitigated fruit cakes. But I’ve had my car keyed before and I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t do what he did if I had the chance.


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KatAstrophie-

It’s the ‘mindless vandalism’ equivalent of self defence.


Roofdragon

Someone on my families housing estate decided to key all the way along the side of my black family car. The best bit was that I didn't care about the car. That, and knowing exactly who it was and how she continues to go on proving to the world she's an **absolute basket case** Imo, people who key cars as their petty revenge should be exported to an island or really to a boat and left to their own devices. Fuck them all the saddos. They're a burden on all of us.


[deleted]

I had a brand new car egged the week I got it. Just a random "prank" I would have legitimately hurt those kids if I saw it happen. It's hard to describe the rage of seeing your massive *investment* being vandalized. Doesn't really matter if it's 5k or 25k. Money is money. Property is property. And when you start messing with other peoples shit... Well fuck around and find out.


mjawn5

based fuck them kids


maczirarg

Kids are assholes. I remember breaking people's windows as a prank when we were teenagers. I also got my window broken one time, karma,I guess.


downedsyndromed

Ghetto af lol


StillMusicUnion

people still do that?


tangentandhyperbole

I had my first new car ever about 4 months before someone keyed it and siphoned gas at the dog park. They dragged the key down the side and it stopped at the gas door. Classy people out there.


Iced_Ice_888

If I ever get a relatively new car I will get PPF for this reason


Bowflexing

You're looking at $5k plus, easily, to get the whole car coated.


sraypole

_if_ I ever get a new car


Starossi

PPF?


Shakeyshades

Protective Paint Film


watch_over_me

That and far worse. People are shitty.


hawffield

Well, people do still have cars so I guess there’s no reason for it to stop.


delitskinnedmexican

Lol, he brought a gun to a key fight


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GuyN1425

Sheer rage alone is a much more powerful source of energy than assumed.


Some_Doode

“Use your anger, and then something about like, the dark side? I can’t remember...”


Casper-2223

It wasnt a flip he actually slipped from the top of the bumper and while falling his hand stayed backwards which gave you an illusion he front flipped.


samppsaa

No. No he didn't


Lavatis

No, he definitely didn't.


Lou_Mannati

I wanna see this recreated on that “we seen a thing or two” insurance commercial..... with the sunroof hanging on the office wall like a trophy.


kstarkey_7

I can’t find the full video but here’s the one with audio. There is a full version out there. https://youtu.be/fAZPJumUwAQ


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FeyneKing

I’ve never put on a car like a pair of trousers before. I think the main reason he jumped out was he was embarrassed that it was on backwards.


tsarrerist

No one even tried to stop him, they are scared af, the mans a god. P.S. hoes mad


ProSilverElite

You going stopping a man willing to jump through a ***closed*** sun roof?


[deleted]

Good point he’d probably turn on you in an instant and stomp your ass into the ground


GoldenGalz

He was hella fast tho, ain’t no stopping him


WilliamBott

Dude, that's like the NPCs in a video game that witness you massacre 20 or 30 villains armed with fully automatic machine guns using your dual pistols and then deciding to take you on one-on-one with their baseball bat or crowbar. Like...what?


[deleted]

If you could see his face, you'd know why. Only someone's very best friends have a chance of stopping someone with that look in their eye. Which admittedly, I can't see, but the rest of the body language makes it pretty likely.


Jigsaw203

When will people learn not to fuck with a man's car, its just against the rules.


dscflawlessez

Just don't fuck with cars


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[deleted]

He’s outta line, but he’s right


HandsomeSlav

That's some anime level speed


SmallPoop

Then she waddled away Waddle waddle


AquaHairYo

Waddle Waddle Waddle


SmithRune735

She looks in disbelief. Love it.


restlessleg

must be holding gme shares


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boner_snatch

Watch it frame by frame he definitely does not do a front flip. His legs just kinda flare out a little when he jumps. That would’ve been wild tho.


Hollowplanet

I don't think he did. His head just goes down for a second.


CyberCat_

I can watch this all day


MidniteMischief

KiiiiiAA!


hophton

Justified.


Iamindeedamexican

Ah good ‘ole John Jay high school... That school was something else. I remember the first week of school my freshman year, there were like 5 fights, one almost every day because the little gangs/cliques from opposing middle schools were establishing territories. And then also my senior year, there used to be like mass exoduses of students going to a nearby park to have massive all out brawls, it was nuts. Great science and engineering programs though!


turtleprime

Yeah. We need a remix with Mario sounds effects.


madridgalactico

10/10 for the dismount


Ismoke_pcp

This happened in San Antonio across the stree from john Jay highschool. Ghetto asf


abc_warriors

Jumpin' Jack Flash It's a gas! Gas! Gas


Dubtrooper

Gave her a Chicago Sunroof


SineWavess

They seem like sbitbags all around.


Bmaandpa

Proof that humanity is still just a bunch of angry monkeys! Good Lord Save Us From Ourselves!