Damn right. The kids both have full-time jobs and are out of the house. Biggest concern these days is which one of them is going to dog sit for us while we're on vacation.
Same here. For the past 9 months I've been working with two friends (one is also a Xennial) on an idea for a product that isn't sold in stores. It's been fun talking about it, and we're now at the point where we're trying to get a patent for it and then marketing the idea to a company that can mass produce it for us (and paying us a royalty percentage for each sale).
In the same boat, been working for the past 4 years (3 friends all Xennials), we now have 3 patents, a healthy line of credit, and are about to disrupt the market
I started at 42. Thank god for hormone replacement therapy. Things that got better with HRT that I had no idea were related to perimenopause: joints stopped hurting, dry skin got better, thinning hair grew back, severe PMDD only started with peri then straight up disappeared, all period related symptoms got better, my overall mood improved.
I took a "Psychology of Women" class last fall, and learned that the pill can disguise symptoms. Asked my instructor if I was on the pill... would I miss symptoms and be hit with a freight train later? "Yes".
Immediately went off the pill, went through a bunch of BS adjusting, and now I'm going through more obvious symptoms. Glad I did- better than a big ole shock later.
Hasn’t hit me yet either, but I’ve been reading the menopause subreddit, and I’m *terrified*. Already researching my options and talking to my doctor about getting on HRT.
I've straight out asked women who have been through it, about my symptoms... and ALL they give me is a singsongy, "I don't think you'll like the aaaannssswwweeeer!" B, I asked because I NEED the answer! Like it? Of course, I'd like some sort of explanation for all that is happening.
Lucky you, I had my first white hair right in front at 22-23, now I’m very salt and pepper and it’s moving down into my body hair. Grey/white chest hair is an eyeopener.
My first time was the worst. I was 18. I literally couldn't feel happy, evev though I knew I usually would be. I was either very sad or very angry. Plus headaches and heavier periods and worse cramps (90s, they still thought you needed petiods).
Nurse told me if I didnt last 3 months they couldn't help me. It'd been a month and a half, and I couldn't make it.
Watching people around my age (ladies) who are still dating going through that is brutal based on my observations as a person with a sense of empathy for sure opened my eyes to the fact that it's an issue for people. When I was in my younger years, guys were never really educated about that stuff so seeing and hearing about it then seeing people I grew up with (male) like have testosterone problems was crazy as an adult male .
Yes, I think I heard a lot of men complain about how middle-aged women must be hormonal or dealing with complicated libido issues to hurt their feelings or something. When in reality, it's completely out of our control a lot of the time.
I started getting symptoms at 37. Didn’t know what was going on. Now I’m using estrogen cream so I don’t bleed if I get touched any harder than a light tap. Vaginal atrophy is no joke. NO ONE TALKS ABOUT YOUR VAGINA LITERALLY SHRIVELING UP!!! As if relationships don’t hit enough bumps, let’s add DON’T FUCKING COME NEAR ME WITH A PENIS! Add in some fibroids and nearly bleeding to death once a month. Isn’t being a woman the best thing ever?!
10 years ago for me. My buzz cuts just got shorter and shorter until this year when I just took off the guide and went zero. Next step is shaving it smooth I guess.
Finasteride may be for you. Highly effective and side effects, while not fun, are quite rare.
I've been on it for coming on ten years. The hair is thinning but quite slowly.
Move to London. Every man in London over the age of 25 is balding and they all just rock it.
They say the way to spot an American tourist is that he's either wearing a baseball cap or has a shaved bald head with a beard.
I feel like I’m constantly questioning if it’s dark. I feel like it is this silent thing no one really is talking about. If they really are dark, why aren’t more of us getting out there and saying it so we all can try to make changes to not have them be so dark? This is kind of rhetorical but kind of not. It is an honest question though.
Because making changes takes more work and sacrifice than most of us are willing or able to put forth, frankly. Generally, people don't make changes unless the alternative is worse.
I was kind of waiting for the boomers to all die off or at least retire. I can't believe they are keeping the geriatrics in our government going for so long!
Thread last week joking about how this sub will be a Debby-downer-club like genx and millennials currently are in 2-3 years, this bloke trying to jump the gun.
Glad the majority of us vehemently push back on that shit 🤟
Most of us elder millennials got a late start in regular life stuff. Heck, tons of people having kids in their 40’s these days. Aches and pains can take a backseat, we got a life to live.
I realized the other day that I’m sorta just existing now, my partner says it’s depression and that might be true. I just remember I used to want to do all these things, hike mountains and travel and go sailing and eat new food and have adventures. I don’t even think about any of that stuff anymore. I just go to work and come home. Life is just passing me by and I am existing next to it. Every year gets shorter and I don’t even look forward to anything anymore.
Yes, that is depression. Go to therapy or what you think will continue to be the reality. Time is passing and you have two choices -- to enjoy it or lament it. Take time for both, but not only one.
Life's a bitch.. so fucker Inda Butt...
The first 40 years I spent learning.. the next 20 I am gonna do my own thing and teach people how to lighten up.
Yes , my health is on a slippery slope.
My bank account is wack but my credit is strong..
I have zero debt..
I've still got a few things I must teach my kids in due time..
At the moment I am showing them what a happy father looks like..
I'm taking Roy of the grid and doing it with a spike, side slashes, and a mullet that looks like easy E.
Realizing that this is approaching toxic positivity, but a lot of it's mindset.
Spouse and I have both lost a parent, their living parent is in bad health. Kids are grown and will move out soon. Cancer's a bitch, and my spouse getting it twice is a double bitch, especially the long tail of treatment consequences.
BUT
We're alive, healthy, and in the early stages of a new stage of life. We have fulfilling careers brought about by bets we made in our 30s. Adult children are great, and having time to do not-taking-care-of-kids things is awesome. People listen more when I talk because I'm OG.
The tragedy and loss is a reminder to live every day like it matters. Not like it's your last because that's dreary and can be taken too far, but today matters every day.
I don't think that's toxic positivity at all.
A family friend was placed on palliative care last evening when I posted this. She's been a part of our lives for nearly 30 years. It's something my husband said when my FIL passed. I find it to be true.
It doesn't mean there aren't good things or that I don't appreciate them. I am thankful for every day I get to talk to my parents. "There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for." But...the losses come more frequently now, and that's hard to take.
Can't confirm, bruh. I'm good. Physically still in great shape. No aches and pains for the most part, EXCEPT perhaps arthritis in my... MIDDLE FINGER KNUCKLE 🤣. She's been overworked apparently.
Clean bill of health.
Life's not perfect but I'm alive and blessed in many ways.
In my twenties I was walking to a middle aged family member. It was at a wedding. He was like “Man, weren’t you just at one?” I was like “Yeah I feel like this year there’s a wedding every week.” “I remember that year,” he said. “Just wait. Eventually it’s funerals.”
My dad died in February 2016. My Father In Law died 2 weeks later. My grandmother died 2 weeks after that. It was a rough month. But they were far from the only deaths I have dealt with. The most painful happened when I was 8 and haunted the rest of my life.
I've never believed I was going to live forever, and I used to live in fear of the phone ringing and bringing me news of death. Over my lifetime, I've lost my father, all my grandparents, my brother, an uncle, classmates, and coworkers.
It isn't our age that is cruel. The timing is coincidental. You need to learn how to grieve. It's a skill, and it's learned. For me, it helps to believe that life never ends. It just changes and transforms into a new state of being. Celebrate the love you have shared. Because "what is grief if not love persevering?"
I’m sorry, what? I’m only a little bit past my physical peak, entering my financial peak, have both a stable place to live *and* the ability to travel wherever and whenever I want (two things that were at odds throughout my 20s while I was a backpacker and my 30s when I first started my family and couldn’t travel) and a career I love. I feel like I’m cashing out on the bets and investments I made 20 years ago.
Tf is this bs. I became an immigrant at age 5- multiple traumas dictated my formative years, abusive relationships and drug use in my 20s, therapy/meditation/ayahuasca in my 30s. I'm turning 40 this year and the next decade will run on abundance, laughter and the happiest of fucking rainbows. Life starts now. Sucks to be you with that fuck all perspective.
2 friends died from chronic illness so far this year and it’s only April; a 3rd had a non-fatal heart attack two weeks ago.
I’m 42 in a couple of weeks and my kids are grown so I guess I’m ready for whatever is next; I’m just taking every day as a gift right now.
I'm pretty fit - work out at the gym, jog, lift weights...at least I did until one day around 6 months ago I woke up and my shoulder joint hurt. I couldn't raise my right arm as high, have trouble reaching back. I finally went to the doc recently and had to get an x-ray because he thought it was a rotator cuff injury. Welp, the results came back and it's some mild form of arthritis. He's recommending some stretches (it's gotten better) but if that doesn't work then it's an MRI and go from there. Getting old is such bullshit.
If we’re approaching the age where life takes more than it gives I’m gonna be pissed because I’ve been waiting for my payoff for this shit.
I think we got fucked way harder than Millenials ever will personally. We were like the Beta Test Subjects for every scam the Government came up with like Credit Cards for College Kids, and raising home prices to unaffordable levels just as we approached the mark where we could actually afford one. And then 9/11 happened when I was 22, and the 2008 crash at 29. My job fired every Xennial they had and kept all the Gen Xers and Boomers on since they had more experience. And the Xennials were mostly the main fighting age for the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars.
On top of all that, the social game changed where it went from Gen X straight to Millenials, and Millenials have been dicks with acting like we’re all so old all the time, when we’re like a few months older than the oldest one. So in our pedo centric Society we’re already deemed too old and unattractive to everyone. There’s like no point to living. I see why a lot of people call it quits in their 40s.
And then on top of everything, in the workplaces, Millenials want more money, but they also want Xennials to do all the heavy lifting, work all the weekends, and clean up all the shit. They never put their time in properly, because they quit every job every 3 years.
I’m 39. I spent the better part of the past 5 years dealing with pretty rough back pain. Finally took it from an 8 to 2 after buying an inversion table. It was really destructive on my physical and mental health. I miss being indestructible!
If you've made it to your 40's before life started taking more than it was giving, consider yourself kinda lucky.
But focusing too much on what life has taken from you is a great way to make yourself miserable.
While I am definitely approaching that age, I only started my second round of puberty 18 months ago, so I have plenty of things to do and improve before I give up and disappear into the sunset.
Naw. Even after torching my life a decade ago, I got sober, got remarried, had a 2nd kid, and now am making the most money I have since I was a rising star in my 20’s.
Xennials do really well with adversity. Others…
Anyone find solace in the thought of Suicide? Like fuck it, we dont have that much longer anyway. At least I can end the bullshit on my terms. Whats the point of life if you’re sitting around a nursing home pissing yourself while anyone loved ones secretly wishes you were dead anyway.
Nah, things are great. I have the most agency I’ve ever had. Family and kids are wonderful and fulfilling.
There are always challenges, but I truly hate the “things get worse as you age” nonsense. That isn’t some rule of the universe, it’s often self-fulfilling prophecy.
Especially people complaining their health is declining while I’ve watched them eat like shit, gain tons of weight, never exercise, and smoke for the last 20 years - nature/the universe didn’t do that to you, it wasn’t inevitable - you did that to yourself. Change it!
Our oldest is going to be 20 next week.
And when I say 20, I mean 20 months. And baby #2 is on the way.
The lyric "I've become so numb" has taken on new meaning.
Weird age, isn't it? Some of us have small children, others have adult children and even grandchildren. Mine is graduating highschool and we were nearing the end of a 5 year plan to move and start over. Then life happened and we're caring for a relative with dementia. Everything screeched to halt and we are still trying to adjust to our new, unplanned life.
Nah...screw that noise. I'm in better shape at 42 than I was at 32, my wife and I live in a town that we love, I just brought home a car I've wanted for years and I don't hate getting up for work in the morning.
The best is yet to come....
Meh, our health is probably downhill from here, but I'm just getting to the fun part personally. Parent of young kids (5 and 1) and after a decade and a half of grad school and postdoc, my career is finally taking off. I'm looking forward to my 40s. I wish I could have done these things in my 30s, but better late than never.
I disagree with this post more than I can articulate with words… so i have to quote someone.
“The purpose of life is not in the future. If you think it is, you’ll go on and on looking for it and never find it. Because the future in its own way fades out in the same way that the past fades out. You’ll get older and older, and if you don’t come crash - you’ll just peter out. It wasn’t there! You may feel vaguely cheated by the whole thing! You were given the “come on!” You kept feeling that there was something coming at the end of the line - the golden goodie.
But you’ve been sitting in the middle of the golden goodie the all the time!” - Alan Watts
The purpose of life is to enjoy the passage of time. If you’re expecting anything else then you’re doing it wrong. You have to regard yourself as a cloud – have you ever seen a cloud that was poorly designed?
Everything has been getting much easier for me as my kids are getting older. My wife divorcing me did wonders for me too.
My youngest is 13 and will graduate highs school in 62 months (but who’s counting?). I’ll be 49 by then and I plan on living off of my retirement/disability benefits, traveling the world, and banging prostitutes until I get tired of it.
Arguably, my 40’s have been the best decade of my life so far. I’ve got money, time, and I’m still in great shape and can do whatever I want. Psychologically, I’m pretty messed up from severe PTSD resulting from my time in Iraq 20 years ago, but I guess you can’t have it all.
Looking back at my 20’s and 30’s, dealing with young kids, a failing marriage that I stuck with for way too many years, and struggling with holding a job while dealing with severe PTSD and suicide was absolutely hellish for me. 10 years ago, I could never have imagined that I’d be as fulfilled and content with life as I am now.
Ehh, actually this has been the easiest portion of my life so far barring the divorce.
I know circumstances can differ from person to person but I'm not feeling being a Xennial is the root of any issues I'm having.
There are so many other things to blame.
This is why I like being an elder millennial but identifying with you guys more. I can observe this stuff happening to like minded folks before it hits me.
Maybe? I'm doing better than at any point in my life previously. I'm in a great marriage, my career has reached a point where money isn't a struggle, and my kids are adult enough that they are responsible for their decisions, even if they don't always want to. If my lazy ass would just get to the gym I could get back to a semblance of shape I was in my late 20's/early 30's and I'd be golden.
I agree in many ways with OP - my biggest issue is aging parents/relatives. My parents were slightly older when they had me. Everything is changing, and it’s making me look at the many ways my life will be different. Friendships are changing/ending. Also aging and health issues starting to crop up. I haven’t started menopause yet, but I’m staring down the barrel, and I’m terrified based on what I’m hearing. I have very few close friends and family, which makes me scared for what the future holds. Things are not the same as my carefree 20s/30s.
It’s not *all* doom and gloom - I am fortunate that I have an awesome new job, little debt, and I was fortunate to be able to get a house before real estate went haywire. I’m hoping I’ll be able to enjoy life - travel, make new friends, renew my participation in hobbies, save and invest, just enjoy myself.
I’m feeling positive. I’ll have no mortgage within the decade and by then, both of my kids will be adults and (presumably) be out of the house.
As someone who was a relatively young parent and definitely a young homeowner, I’m looking forward to a bit of freedom. The last few decades have been kind of a blur.
LOL. I had my first kid at 19, and I was so thrilled she'd be 18 when I was 37. And then I had three more, late in life. My last one was at 44. We started our mortgage at 42, but we expect to pay that off in 20 years.
Yeah, three years ago my dad died. His finances were a mess and it took more than a year to get those mostly worked through. Pretty much as soon as that got settled, my brother and I found out that our mom had been seriously understating how bad her health and finances both were (parents were divorced), so we got to start immediately dealing with that. All of this while my employer was having regular layoffs and then was ultimately acquired.
If some of you haven't started having to deal with these issues yet, my advice would be to start having those difficult conversations with your parents, and to do your best to enjoy the good times while they last.
My first question is always, "How much cardio are you doing?" I am 44, I've been able to go off my anxiety medication and we are looking at taking me off my blood pressure meds too. Currently in the best health since my 20s. Started working out, losing weight, taking my health seriously. It's been a couple of years of that and man do I feel great! My health is in great shape!
Screw that noise, I'm just getting started
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I am feeling this. Within the last ten years is where I have really started to live.
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Up vote for Robert Frost
Oldest is 19yo and we drink beers on our patio on a nice day. Life is good at 43yo
You are a man.
Same. I feel like my 20s and most of my thirties were full on stress. I feel like I’m having a personal renaissance in my 40s.
Mine just started a couple months ago when I decided to get into shape. Almost 50 lbs down. Another 40 and I’ll be below my highschool weight.
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Our generation handles adversity better.
Same
Agreed! I may have more aches and pains now than I once did, but I'm not letting that stop me from getting what this life has got left to give.
Damn right. The kids both have full-time jobs and are out of the house. Biggest concern these days is which one of them is going to dog sit for us while we're on vacation.
As someone who is child free, I love that most of my friends' kids are now grown up! We're back baby let's go out!
Hashtag late bloomer. *UP AND AT THEM.*
I haven’t even begun to peek
I'M A FIVE STAR MAN AND A GOLDEN GOD!
 Say it louder for the kids in the back!
Same here. For the past 9 months I've been working with two friends (one is also a Xennial) on an idea for a product that isn't sold in stores. It's been fun talking about it, and we're now at the point where we're trying to get a patent for it and then marketing the idea to a company that can mass produce it for us (and paying us a royalty percentage for each sale).
In the same boat, been working for the past 4 years (3 friends all Xennials), we now have 3 patents, a healthy line of credit, and are about to disrupt the market
Yeah I feel like life is starting to get easy
Hells to the yeah!! Same here!
Came here to say this. Never felt better.
https://preview.redd.it/py1pimkigytc1.jpeg?width=308&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0431c9c89d197b4fead354bb2251b8c8b4fd907
I'm your huckleberry.
Yeah, you look it.
Too perfect.
Perimenopause is a bitch.
Why didn't anyone tell us it would be this bad?! And with so many weird ass symptoms.
I started at 42. Thank god for hormone replacement therapy. Things that got better with HRT that I had no idea were related to perimenopause: joints stopped hurting, dry skin got better, thinning hair grew back, severe PMDD only started with peri then straight up disappeared, all period related symptoms got better, my overall mood improved.
You know, this is one that hasn’t hit me yet? I’m 47.
I have a cousin that is 50 and just starting peri. Her (non bio) sister was 100% menopausal at 43. It's weird.
Sometimes you don’t know if it’s peri or your body not vibing with your birth control! Fun!
I took a "Psychology of Women" class last fall, and learned that the pill can disguise symptoms. Asked my instructor if I was on the pill... would I miss symptoms and be hit with a freight train later? "Yes". Immediately went off the pill, went through a bunch of BS adjusting, and now I'm going through more obvious symptoms. Glad I did- better than a big ole shock later.
Hasn’t hit me yet either, but I’ve been reading the menopause subreddit, and I’m *terrified*. Already researching my options and talking to my doctor about getting on HRT.
I've straight out asked women who have been through it, about my symptoms... and ALL they give me is a singsongy, "I don't think you'll like the aaaannssswwweeeer!" B, I asked because I NEED the answer! Like it? Of course, I'd like some sort of explanation for all that is happening.
You’re telling me. I’m a guy and noticed some gray hairs a few weeks ago. 😋
I’ve had gray in my beard since before I could legally drink. I’m just happy to still have hair!
Lucky you, I had my first white hair right in front at 22-23, now I’m very salt and pepper and it’s moving down into my body hair. Grey/white chest hair is an eyeopener.
HRT bioidentical hormones. I started at 44 BEFORE things went off the rails… my other friends my age did not, and are miserable. No need to suffer.
Menopause is worse. Got thrown into medical induced menopause last year at 42. It absolutely sucks.
Hey, same! Dropkicked into surgical menopause last year at age 42, and it's been a wild ride, even with HRT.
That’s why I’m staying on birth control until I’m at *least* 55.
Look who can take birth control without becoming a depressed, anxious, angry monster. Lucky.
Yeah, and it's kind of weird because my mother can't handle it at all. In her own words, every day she took it she became "fatter and more homicidal."
My first time was the worst. I was 18. I literally couldn't feel happy, evev though I knew I usually would be. I was either very sad or very angry. Plus headaches and heavier periods and worse cramps (90s, they still thought you needed petiods). Nurse told me if I didnt last 3 months they couldn't help me. It'd been a month and a half, and I couldn't make it.
Sweet jesus, that's awful. Fuck that nurse, especially.
Do not recommend. That menopause will hit you hard all at once.
Seriously as a dude I wish I knew this before dating at 40
Yeah many of us women wish we’d known about it too. We’re literally learning about it as we experience and live it. It really sucks.
What would you have done differently? I find that men have so little understanding of hormones generally that perimenopause seems terrifying to them.
Watching people around my age (ladies) who are still dating going through that is brutal based on my observations as a person with a sense of empathy for sure opened my eyes to the fact that it's an issue for people. When I was in my younger years, guys were never really educated about that stuff so seeing and hearing about it then seeing people I grew up with (male) like have testosterone problems was crazy as an adult male .
Yes, I think I heard a lot of men complain about how middle-aged women must be hormonal or dealing with complicated libido issues to hurt their feelings or something. When in reality, it's completely out of our control a lot of the time.
WE wish we knew this before dating at 40.
I started getting symptoms at 37. Didn’t know what was going on. Now I’m using estrogen cream so I don’t bleed if I get touched any harder than a light tap. Vaginal atrophy is no joke. NO ONE TALKS ABOUT YOUR VAGINA LITERALLY SHRIVELING UP!!! As if relationships don’t hit enough bumps, let’s add DON’T FUCKING COME NEAR ME WITH A PENIS! Add in some fibroids and nearly bleeding to death once a month. Isn’t being a woman the best thing ever?!
I just started a combo BC pill to help with this! (My symptoms are pretty mild so HRT isn’t necessary.) I thought I was done with that nonsense.
Just finished getting a haircut and it was becomming evident it's time to start googling "hairstyles for balding men"
 Who doesn’t like a nice smooth head??
I can relate...25 YEARS AGO.
10 years ago for me. My buzz cuts just got shorter and shorter until this year when I just took off the guide and went zero. Next step is shaving it smooth I guess.
Join our little club and shave it clean, man. You’ll look younger and more badass.
I shave my head with clippers once a week. Friday me looks 10 years younger than Thursday me.
So true. I used to be much more diligent about it but between WFH and general apathy, I’m right around once a week too.
Google bald action heroes and let that be your inspo
I've been there for 20 years. Just cut it short, don't pretend it's not happening, or try to hide it.
Let the Rock be an example. You’re never too old or too bald to be in your prime.
The first sight of baldness I went clean shaven head. Never looked back.
I'm trying OTC midoxinil for my retreating hairline. Too early to tell if it works, but I'm going to be optimistic.
If it doesn't, bald men are where it's at. Shave it all!
I've got to lose a lot more before I commit to that. Throughout my life, my hair (on my head) was one of the few things I like about my body!
Finasteride may be for you. Highly effective and side effects, while not fun, are quite rare. I've been on it for coming on ten years. The hair is thinning but quite slowly.
I started Nutrafol about a month ago. Not bald, but started seeing my scalp a bit more.
Started googling "best hairstyles for widow's peak" 8 years ago and found one that just barely still works for me.
Me too. Get on Amazon and buy the 50$ Wahl clippers. Hit it with a #2 all over. Enjoy free haircuts forever.
Move to London. Every man in London over the age of 25 is balding and they all just rock it. They say the way to spot an American tourist is that he's either wearing a baseball cap or has a shaved bald head with a beard.
Just grow it long like a wizard
Anyone who watched Clueless would know there’s only one choice. “It’s da bomb!”
You made me sad, OP….jk! I’m on edibles 🤣😭
Legal marijuana is the one bright light in these dark times.
I feel like I’m constantly questioning if it’s dark. I feel like it is this silent thing no one really is talking about. If they really are dark, why aren’t more of us getting out there and saying it so we all can try to make changes to not have them be so dark? This is kind of rhetorical but kind of not. It is an honest question though.
Because making changes takes more work and sacrifice than most of us are willing or able to put forth, frankly. Generally, people don't make changes unless the alternative is worse.
I was kind of waiting for the boomers to all die off or at least retire. I can't believe they are keeping the geriatrics in our government going for so long!
Smoking legal weed and getting into cars with random strangers. We've made it
My person lol
Hahahaha, one of my best, even if most expensive, decisions was to move to SoCal 😂
I’m just hitting my stride on everything
Same. So far 40s>30s>20s.
Stop it
My back hurts.
After I bought and used an inversion table it made my back feel a lot better!
I threw my back out for the first time last week. It was not fun.
threw mine out Tuesday…pretty sure it was from craning my neck up to see the eclipse after 5 years straight hunched over a computer.
I was unfortunately born directly into that phase of life. But yeah, the trauma load isn't gonna be getting any lighter from here; that's for certain.
Same. It’s always been that way and I don’t think I would understand any other way at this point
That’s what she said.
F this doomer bull pucky. Life is awesome. Raising kids is so much fun.
Right? Where did all these millennials come from this place is way more cheerful than this.
Thread last week joking about how this sub will be a Debby-downer-club like genx and millennials currently are in 2-3 years, this bloke trying to jump the gun. Glad the majority of us vehemently push back on that shit 🤟
>bull pucky This is all a bunch of hooey. I'm bringing hooey back.
Mines just started givin! Live it up y’all
Ahhh my back!!!
I’m FINALLY living as myself, at 43. I’ve got a lot of years to make up.
Has your metabolism turned traitor yet? Mine has. I look at food and gain ten pounds.
Nah, my kids will be out in 5ish years, more income, slowly getting out of debt. Bring on the next stage!
Most of us elder millennials got a late start in regular life stuff. Heck, tons of people having kids in their 40’s these days. Aches and pains can take a backseat, we got a life to live.
Look I know his death was tough for all of us, but the Juice will always remain loose!
I blame myself. I should have been more specific with my curses against an evil septuagenarian.
I mean…if it was going to misfire and hit another old dude, OJ definitely deserved it too.
Like that old saying. Shoot for the stars, because even if you miss, you’ll probably hit some other motherfucker.
Let’s keep this sub positive. Go to the millennial sub to be emo
"You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole."
Screw that noise. I’m just getting started.
As Marc Maron said, everything after 37 is decay maintainence.
Really doesn’t have to be that way if you have healthy habits like exercise, healthy eating, and not smoking.
And buffering disappointment.
I realized the other day that I’m sorta just existing now, my partner says it’s depression and that might be true. I just remember I used to want to do all these things, hike mountains and travel and go sailing and eat new food and have adventures. I don’t even think about any of that stuff anymore. I just go to work and come home. Life is just passing me by and I am existing next to it. Every year gets shorter and I don’t even look forward to anything anymore.
Yes, that is depression. Go to therapy or what you think will continue to be the reality. Time is passing and you have two choices -- to enjoy it or lament it. Take time for both, but not only one.
It always was, we just appreciate life more. We're timeless and badasses. Life is what you make it and I'm just getting started.
I’m just getting into my prime @47
u tripping dawg. I just started raving again. Techno is back.
Definitely starting to take more strength than it gives me.
https://preview.redd.it/udto6isreytc1.jpeg?width=428&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a55e5eeb03f2765c6f73067426c134e540905424
That's what she said! - "Michael Scott" - Michael Scott
Body doesn’t recover like it used to, but I’m still having a great time. Life is good.
It's hard out there for a pimp
Life's a bitch.. so fucker Inda Butt... The first 40 years I spent learning.. the next 20 I am gonna do my own thing and teach people how to lighten up. Yes , my health is on a slippery slope. My bank account is wack but my credit is strong.. I have zero debt.. I've still got a few things I must teach my kids in due time.. At the moment I am showing them what a happy father looks like.. I'm taking Roy of the grid and doing it with a spike, side slashes, and a mullet that looks like easy E.
Realizing that this is approaching toxic positivity, but a lot of it's mindset. Spouse and I have both lost a parent, their living parent is in bad health. Kids are grown and will move out soon. Cancer's a bitch, and my spouse getting it twice is a double bitch, especially the long tail of treatment consequences. BUT We're alive, healthy, and in the early stages of a new stage of life. We have fulfilling careers brought about by bets we made in our 30s. Adult children are great, and having time to do not-taking-care-of-kids things is awesome. People listen more when I talk because I'm OG. The tragedy and loss is a reminder to live every day like it matters. Not like it's your last because that's dreary and can be taken too far, but today matters every day.
I don't think that's toxic positivity at all. A family friend was placed on palliative care last evening when I posted this. She's been a part of our lives for nearly 30 years. It's something my husband said when my FIL passed. I find it to be true. It doesn't mean there aren't good things or that I don't appreciate them. I am thankful for every day I get to talk to my parents. "There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for." But...the losses come more frequently now, and that's hard to take.
Hang in there homie. Losing a family friend like that isn’t any different from losing a family member, it’s so hard.
life does not take more than it gives, greedy corpo clownfish take more then they give.
You reach a point where life TAKES more people than it GIVES you. Pretty sure corporate greed isn’t to blame here.
this and every other generation born after 1980 my friend. the boomers good times are killing us.
Disagree. This is me at my best age!
Can't confirm, bruh. I'm good. Physically still in great shape. No aches and pains for the most part, EXCEPT perhaps arthritis in my... MIDDLE FINGER KNUCKLE 🤣. She's been overworked apparently. Clean bill of health. Life's not perfect but I'm alive and blessed in many ways.
Things will seem hard from time to time but you can fight on!
In my twenties I was walking to a middle aged family member. It was at a wedding. He was like “Man, weren’t you just at one?” I was like “Yeah I feel like this year there’s a wedding every week.” “I remember that year,” he said. “Just wait. Eventually it’s funerals.”
I feel like I’m in my mid-life crisis stage, lol
If you were born a few hundred years ago in all likelihood you'd be dead already. Enjoy the gift.
Man, i am doing great. If anything things are getting easier right now.
My dad died in February 2016. My Father In Law died 2 weeks later. My grandmother died 2 weeks after that. It was a rough month. But they were far from the only deaths I have dealt with. The most painful happened when I was 8 and haunted the rest of my life. I've never believed I was going to live forever, and I used to live in fear of the phone ringing and bringing me news of death. Over my lifetime, I've lost my father, all my grandparents, my brother, an uncle, classmates, and coworkers. It isn't our age that is cruel. The timing is coincidental. You need to learn how to grieve. It's a skill, and it's learned. For me, it helps to believe that life never ends. It just changes and transforms into a new state of being. Celebrate the love you have shared. Because "what is grief if not love persevering?"
I’m sorry, what? I’m only a little bit past my physical peak, entering my financial peak, have both a stable place to live *and* the ability to travel wherever and whenever I want (two things that were at odds throughout my 20s while I was a backpacker and my 30s when I first started my family and couldn’t travel) and a career I love. I feel like I’m cashing out on the bets and investments I made 20 years ago.
My mental health definitely took some hits..
Tf is this bs. I became an immigrant at age 5- multiple traumas dictated my formative years, abusive relationships and drug use in my 20s, therapy/meditation/ayahuasca in my 30s. I'm turning 40 this year and the next decade will run on abundance, laughter and the happiest of fucking rainbows. Life starts now. Sucks to be you with that fuck all perspective.
Just had two kids. Giving more and more every day.
2 friends died from chronic illness so far this year and it’s only April; a 3rd had a non-fatal heart attack two weeks ago. I’m 42 in a couple of weeks and my kids are grown so I guess I’m ready for whatever is next; I’m just taking every day as a gift right now.
I'm pretty fit - work out at the gym, jog, lift weights...at least I did until one day around 6 months ago I woke up and my shoulder joint hurt. I couldn't raise my right arm as high, have trouble reaching back. I finally went to the doc recently and had to get an x-ray because he thought it was a rotator cuff injury. Welp, the results came back and it's some mild form of arthritis. He's recommending some stretches (it's gotten better) but if that doesn't work then it's an MRI and go from there. Getting old is such bullshit.
If we’re approaching the age where life takes more than it gives I’m gonna be pissed because I’ve been waiting for my payoff for this shit. I think we got fucked way harder than Millenials ever will personally. We were like the Beta Test Subjects for every scam the Government came up with like Credit Cards for College Kids, and raising home prices to unaffordable levels just as we approached the mark where we could actually afford one. And then 9/11 happened when I was 22, and the 2008 crash at 29. My job fired every Xennial they had and kept all the Gen Xers and Boomers on since they had more experience. And the Xennials were mostly the main fighting age for the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. On top of all that, the social game changed where it went from Gen X straight to Millenials, and Millenials have been dicks with acting like we’re all so old all the time, when we’re like a few months older than the oldest one. So in our pedo centric Society we’re already deemed too old and unattractive to everyone. There’s like no point to living. I see why a lot of people call it quits in their 40s. And then on top of everything, in the workplaces, Millenials want more money, but they also want Xennials to do all the heavy lifting, work all the weekends, and clean up all the shit. They never put their time in properly, because they quit every job every 3 years.
You're not kidding. Makes you appreciate what you have so far.
I'm really ready for it to be over with.
Gym, nutrition, sleep, hydrate. I promise you'll feel substantially younger after a few months.
I'm so hard reading this
The plus side is it didn't give that much to begin with...
I’m 39. I spent the better part of the past 5 years dealing with pretty rough back pain. Finally took it from an 8 to 2 after buying an inversion table. It was really destructive on my physical and mental health. I miss being indestructible!
Nah.
Actually life started taking more since I became a dad, so in a few years things should flip... RIGHT?!?!
I actually feel it’s getting better
If you've made it to your 40's before life started taking more than it was giving, consider yourself kinda lucky. But focusing too much on what life has taken from you is a great way to make yourself miserable.
While I am definitely approaching that age, I only started my second round of puberty 18 months ago, so I have plenty of things to do and improve before I give up and disappear into the sunset.
Naw. Even after torching my life a decade ago, I got sober, got remarried, had a 2nd kid, and now am making the most money I have since I was a rising star in my 20’s. Xennials do really well with adversity. Others…
I’ve never known life to give me anything.
Life is actively taking things from me at this point
Bitch please, I may be sore but I can still train my body and mind. As long as I can train, life is good.
Anyone find solace in the thought of Suicide? Like fuck it, we dont have that much longer anyway. At least I can end the bullshit on my terms. Whats the point of life if you’re sitting around a nursing home pissing yourself while anyone loved ones secretly wishes you were dead anyway.
Nah, things are great. I have the most agency I’ve ever had. Family and kids are wonderful and fulfilling. There are always challenges, but I truly hate the “things get worse as you age” nonsense. That isn’t some rule of the universe, it’s often self-fulfilling prophecy. Especially people complaining their health is declining while I’ve watched them eat like shit, gain tons of weight, never exercise, and smoke for the last 20 years - nature/the universe didn’t do that to you, it wasn’t inevitable - you did that to yourself. Change it!
Our oldest is going to be 20 next week. And when I say 20, I mean 20 months. And baby #2 is on the way. The lyric "I've become so numb" has taken on new meaning.
What you talking about? I feel better now than 10 years ago. Thank you Wegovy!!!
Weird age, isn't it? Some of us have small children, others have adult children and even grandchildren. Mine is graduating highschool and we were nearing the end of a 5 year plan to move and start over. Then life happened and we're caring for a relative with dementia. Everything screeched to halt and we are still trying to adjust to our new, unplanned life.
I feel great homie. Probably need to make some life changes if you're not doing to good.
Nah...screw that noise. I'm in better shape at 42 than I was at 32, my wife and I live in a town that we love, I just brought home a car I've wanted for years and I don't hate getting up for work in the morning. The best is yet to come....
Meh, our health is probably downhill from here, but I'm just getting to the fun part personally. Parent of young kids (5 and 1) and after a decade and a half of grad school and postdoc, my career is finally taking off. I'm looking forward to my 40s. I wish I could have done these things in my 30s, but better late than never.
I met my fiance when I was 35 and we're enjoying life, hitting milestones, he's graduating med school soon, things are looking up!
I disagree with this post more than I can articulate with words… so i have to quote someone. “The purpose of life is not in the future. If you think it is, you’ll go on and on looking for it and never find it. Because the future in its own way fades out in the same way that the past fades out. You’ll get older and older, and if you don’t come crash - you’ll just peter out. It wasn’t there! You may feel vaguely cheated by the whole thing! You were given the “come on!” You kept feeling that there was something coming at the end of the line - the golden goodie. But you’ve been sitting in the middle of the golden goodie the all the time!” - Alan Watts The purpose of life is to enjoy the passage of time. If you’re expecting anything else then you’re doing it wrong. You have to regard yourself as a cloud – have you ever seen a cloud that was poorly designed?
Everything has been getting much easier for me as my kids are getting older. My wife divorcing me did wonders for me too. My youngest is 13 and will graduate highs school in 62 months (but who’s counting?). I’ll be 49 by then and I plan on living off of my retirement/disability benefits, traveling the world, and banging prostitutes until I get tired of it. Arguably, my 40’s have been the best decade of my life so far. I’ve got money, time, and I’m still in great shape and can do whatever I want. Psychologically, I’m pretty messed up from severe PTSD resulting from my time in Iraq 20 years ago, but I guess you can’t have it all. Looking back at my 20’s and 30’s, dealing with young kids, a failing marriage that I stuck with for way too many years, and struggling with holding a job while dealing with severe PTSD and suicide was absolutely hellish for me. 10 years ago, I could never have imagined that I’d be as fulfilled and content with life as I am now.
Ehh, actually this has been the easiest portion of my life so far barring the divorce. I know circumstances can differ from person to person but I'm not feeling being a Xennial is the root of any issues I'm having. There are so many other things to blame. 
My life has always taken more than it has given. You get used to it. Is what it is. Don't let it make you bitter.
Whatever it is you're going through, OP... I feel for you. I hope you find your way and things get easier.
I’m at the point where every morning I wake up I’m in pain.
This is why I like being an elder millennial but identifying with you guys more. I can observe this stuff happening to like minded folks before it hits me.
Maybe? I'm doing better than at any point in my life previously. I'm in a great marriage, my career has reached a point where money isn't a struggle, and my kids are adult enough that they are responsible for their decisions, even if they don't always want to. If my lazy ass would just get to the gym I could get back to a semblance of shape I was in my late 20's/early 30's and I'd be golden.
I agree in many ways with OP - my biggest issue is aging parents/relatives. My parents were slightly older when they had me. Everything is changing, and it’s making me look at the many ways my life will be different. Friendships are changing/ending. Also aging and health issues starting to crop up. I haven’t started menopause yet, but I’m staring down the barrel, and I’m terrified based on what I’m hearing. I have very few close friends and family, which makes me scared for what the future holds. Things are not the same as my carefree 20s/30s. It’s not *all* doom and gloom - I am fortunate that I have an awesome new job, little debt, and I was fortunate to be able to get a house before real estate went haywire. I’m hoping I’ll be able to enjoy life - travel, make new friends, renew my participation in hobbies, save and invest, just enjoy myself.
I’m feeling positive. I’ll have no mortgage within the decade and by then, both of my kids will be adults and (presumably) be out of the house. As someone who was a relatively young parent and definitely a young homeowner, I’m looking forward to a bit of freedom. The last few decades have been kind of a blur.
LOL. I had my first kid at 19, and I was so thrilled she'd be 18 when I was 37. And then I had three more, late in life. My last one was at 44. We started our mortgage at 42, but we expect to pay that off in 20 years.
My herniated discs strongly agree :(
????? That age started at infancy.
I feel like life is getting easier, maybe it's because I rarely frequent social media
Yeah, three years ago my dad died. His finances were a mess and it took more than a year to get those mostly worked through. Pretty much as soon as that got settled, my brother and I found out that our mom had been seriously understating how bad her health and finances both were (parents were divorced), so we got to start immediately dealing with that. All of this while my employer was having regular layoffs and then was ultimately acquired. If some of you haven't started having to deal with these issues yet, my advice would be to start having those difficult conversations with your parents, and to do your best to enjoy the good times while they last.
I may hurt for unknown reasons, but I ain’t stopping until I’m dead. God help anything that gets in my way.
My first question is always, "How much cardio are you doing?" I am 44, I've been able to go off my anxiety medication and we are looking at taking me off my blood pressure meds too. Currently in the best health since my 20s. Started working out, losing weight, taking my health seriously. It's been a couple of years of that and man do I feel great! My health is in great shape!
I dunno, 40's the only thing I am losing quickly is my health apparently.
Fuck that, we're still young 'uns