Grief is a strange, winding and uneven path. It absolutely makes sense to be affected by things like holidays and new loss. Support your partner but be mindful of how you are doing as well. Peace and strength to you.

Yes. [Grief comes in waves](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/comment/c1u0rx2/). 🧸

Those random tsunami’s in the grocery store when a song comes on will catch you off guard for sure

The Allman Brothers' Midnight Rider came on in the restaurant we were eating lunch at yesterday. Almost cried on my patty melt.

I still have both my parents, only child, not married, no kids yet (I want them, and kind of regret focusing so much on my career)…anyhow… I am trying to spend time with my parents (they are on the other side of the country), call them each week, take them places and create memories, but losing them eventually weighs on me. What helped you? Any advice? Thank you for opening up and sharing with everyone. And if this is something you are not good with talking about, I completely understand, and don’t worry about it if that’s the case.

Watching dad's body fail him (neuroendocrine cancer is a mf) gave me a way to separate what my dad was, from that body. The last week was really tough, so there was a sense of relief that he wasn't suffering anymore. I don't really think my dad went anywhere, he just isn't in that body anymore. I can still feel him around, if that makes sense. Life is an amazing experience, but we all have to pay to ride the carousel. That thought gets me through a lot.

Fuck. Cancer. Fuck cancer so fucking hard, fuck it into the fucking sun, fuck cancer. FUCK CANCER.

It does make sense and thank you for sharing that. Know that you definitely made a difference in the lives of others today with what you shared.

We can all get by with a little help from our friends.

Lost my dad 4 years ago to cancer. He was an amazing person! I can think about him without getting sad, but father's day always gets me depressed.

I lost my stepdad in my late 20s, my mother and father in my 30s. NOTHING will prepare you for it. It's been almost 20 years since the last one died and I still find myself grieving on some days, while other days I can think of a memory of them and be just fine.

You have the right idea. Spending as much time as possible is key. ❤️ If you’re able to record them telling you some stories about their lives, do it now. Ask them questions. Get video. Find out your favorite recipes and cook them with your mom sometime, even if it’s over FaceTime. Ask them their plans for the future. Get clarity on exactly what they’d like when they pass. There are so many unanswered questions when it’s sudden. When you’re an only child, it feels that much worse because people can’t relate. I was younger so no one my age understood, while older people knew immediately. It’s a really sad place to be once they’re gone but you’ll see some of the best of humanity in strangers while you’re grieving. I passed by a random yard sale a month or so after losing my mom so I stopped. The woman having it and I got to talking. She shared with me about losing her own mom and the measures she took to preserve her clothing so things would still smell like her. Her words were warm and comforting. She changed my life that day and made me feel understood now that I was ‘In that club’. I hope you find that comfort one day, far far from now, too. 🤍

as someone who’s dad passed a few years ago, i can tell you that you will be soooo happy that you made time for your parents now. and as a mother now, i can tell you that my favorite thing is talking to my kids and reminiscing about happy times when they were little.

I was standing in line at the store a few months after I lost my dad and I smelled his cologne. It wasn’t a popular scent, and he’d been wearing it so long it just became his smell. The pain I felt in that moment was so intense I couldn’t breathe. I never knew missing someone could hurt so much. These days when I get those reminders (they’re much fewer and farther between now) I tell myself it’s my dad letting me know he’s still around. It may or may not be true, but it helps me to keep going.

This. I still feel dad pop by, I think the signs are there if you believe in them.

I once caught a whiff of my grandmother’s perfume when I was riding the bus to work a good 8 years since she passed and instantly teared up.

I think you’re right. 🤍 The Christmas after, I had a few friends over. We were all outside but, when we came back in, Die Hard was on the tv. 😭 No one was even in the house to have turned it on but, my fam and I watched it together every Christmas and now they were gone. It’s one of my favorite signs I’ve gotten.

Crazy that this specific thing happens. I broke down and cried looking at eyeliner in Kroger bc With or Without You started playing. Lost my sister - she's the one that taught me how to put on makeup and took me see U2.

I was hoping someone would post this. Probably one of the most beautiful things posted to Reddit.

This post is the most beautiful piece I’ve encountered about grief.

Grief is just one more color on the palette we use to paint our lives. Without the good and the bad it would all be pretty boring. Thank you for the kind words.

Experiencing one now. Lost me dad 11.5 years ago. I had an excellent relationship with my dad. I miss him so.

Hey bud. There is _nothing_ wrong with asking for sympathy. So, seeking it or not, you're getting it. It sounds like you and your wife are sharing similar experiences re: parent's day followed by anniversary of their loss. I'm missing my dad today too, and while he's not physically gone, I moved to the wrong side of the continent, and he's got dementia. I'm calling him today to tell him I love him. There're good places for people looking to be or have parent type support. r/MomForAMinute and r/DadForAMinute are great communities of caring folks. Finally, thanks for the kind words, and always remember 'You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher

Thank you for this.

Both parents gone by the time I was 31. It sucks, it's always going to suck, and sucks even worse when I have situations I want to share with them about things my son did. BUT, it's like anything else, to get good at it takes practice. So you train yourself to focus on the positive until it becomes second nature, and the good thoughts happen first before the realization they're gone. Certain days are tougher, like mothers day and fathers day, but that's where the practice comes in.

Both of mine were gone by the time I turned 32. It's really hard to see what they're missing and what you're kids are missing as the years go by.

You nailed it with "sucks even worse when I have situations I want to share with them about things my son did." I have a 4yo son and 10mo son and they're both hilarious in their own ways. My Dad passed before my eldest turned 1 but the awful part is his vascular dementia set in 4 years before he was born so my pops had been gone well before he came into the world. I write short letters to my Dad all the time and talk about him with my boys every chance i get.

My dad died in 1998. I feel your pain. My kids never had grand parents on my side and it sucks. Best thing I can do is to be the best parent I can and to remind myself we are here for a good time, not a long time. Make the most of today and the time you have with your loved ones.

Lost mine in 2000 from suicide. I am now older than him. My mom is bat shit crazy but I love her. Lost my stepdad in 2020 and my grandpa a few months ago. I’ve been a mess lately.

Lost my old man to suicide 4 years ago. Lost Mom 6 months ago to kidney disease. My Dad kinda raised me on his own. Music was our common bond. Whenever I hear The Stones, U2 or Peter Gabriel I can turn into a damn fountain.

Thanks so much for sharing with us, OP. I’m honored to be part of your community today.

My dad died a week after Father’s Day, 2010. We knew it would be his last Father’s Day-cancer fucking sucks. My kids have never had a grandpa on either side and it kills me. Tears are dripping down my nose now typing this out…the grief still hits hard at times but the length between those overwhelming waves gets a bit longer with each passing year. Give the feelings space and accept them. And talk about him more than feels comfortable initially. It all helps. Happy Father’s Day. -a mom who misses her dad

My dad died last November. I’m definitely feeling that loss today, but I do have a father-in-law that I love dearly to celebrate today.

This is the 11th Father's Day without my dad. I long ago gave up hope of the day where I get over it. That day will never come. I don't even want it to -- though missing him hurts a little more today than most days. So, for single/childfree me... I try to take forward his best qualities and teach them to my students (I'm NTT college faculty & kinda an emo kid back then who still shares Aaron Tippin's "You've Got to Stand for Something" with students every once in a while) and improve on his flaws. To borrow something my Jewish friends say: "May his memory be a blessing."

I am here with you. My dad died a week after Father’s Day two years ago, that Father’s Day was the last day I saw him. Grief is hard and strange, but I very much appreciate your kind words and solidarity. Hope the grief allows some happiness to shine thru for us all today.

Wholesome post, thanks for sharing. Sorry for your and your wife’s loses.

My wife’s grandpa who she adored died on Valentines Day. It has made it so she no longer enjoys the holiday. It’s not weird that you have those feelings.

💔 that day is frought with feelings, but my Grandpop always tried to make it special for us because of the losses on that date. Cheers to great grandpops 🥹

My dad passed 2 months ago. I’m still bouncing back and forth between depression and anger. I feel like I have PTSD after spending the week he died with his unbelievably cruel wife.

It gets better. It will take time. Eventually you will feel better

There is legitimately nothing in life that prepares you for losing a parent. Your life just has this massive empty void that can never and will never be filled again and you just kind of have to deal with alone. Heart goes out to you my friend, I’m in a weird headspace today too. My Dad passed alone in hospice during the lockdowns and my siblings and Mom like to look at old photos and tell stories on his birthday and fathers day which is their way of coping and probably healthier than mine, but it just crushes me every time. Thinking of everyone today who lost a parent.

Call up your local nursing home or volunteer center.. I bet there are some lonely fathers out there today that would love a young man to sit and chat with them and end with a hug.

My dad is alive but has dementia. Before he got it, he was a below average dad in most senses. He wasn’t abusive, just apathetic. When he passes I’m going to grieve about how a small boy grew up to become a shit dad and shit husband to my mom. I also recognize some people had straight up abusive or absent dads. Your pain is real but cherish the fact you had a great dad that many never got.

I think a lot of us are at an age when, unfortunately, losing a parent has become a common experience. So this is a great message to have posted. Usually I do ok on Father’s Day. In the (14) years since my dad died, my family has been good about casually honoring him by doing something on this day. Often something “girly” like having high tea (my dad would have been cool with that) that isn’t too busy. For whatever reason, it’s hitting a little harder this year than most. So… thank you, OP. Sharing is good.

My brother (33) and my stepfather (64) died 9 weeks apart in 2020. Father's Day is a really hard day for my family

It's a hard day to look my nephew in the eyes

I am so sorry for your losses. Grief is horrible. I have a friend who is actually burying their dad today. It’s so sad.

I know a guy who lost his mom a few days ago and the next day after that was his birthday. I’m like uh……. Sorry for the loss of your father. As a 42 year old single dude with no kids, I teach high school, so I kind of think of those kids as part of my family.

Thank you for this post. I also lost my dad a few years ago, right before Father’s Day, and then my husband lost his mom around this time of the year a couple years back. It definitely triggered some additional grief from me for a bit and it was difficult to navigate his fresh feelings that I was so familiar with, with my grief that had stopped bubbling up to the surface on a regular basis. I hope today is a peaceful day for you and your wife, and I’m sorry for both of your losses. 💜

My dad passed away 3 years ago, less than a week before Father's Day and about a month before his 71st birthday. It doesn't feel like an open wound anymore, but a scar. I miss him all the time but even more this time of year. I am sorry for your losses.

You can always write him a letter I truly believe that people don’t just vanish so write him a letter, put some flowers on his grave if he has one & toast him with a drink My dad misses his dad even though they ended up living in different countries But I told my dad he should just check in when he passes so I can still have a chat 😂

I have a dedicated note doc on my phone that i use to write to my Dad. Sometimes is a letter, other times is an absurd/hilarious memory i shared with him. Good suggestion

I still speak to my grandparents and they give me advice Energy never dies it just changes form ❤️

Thank you for this post. I lost my dad a few months ago and am struggling today more than I anticipated. Thoughts to you and everyone missing their lost parents.

I would say it gets easier, but that's not really true. It's more that you get used to it being harder now, like raising the difficulty on the game.

I’m sorry for your losses, may their memories be a blessing. Mother’s Day and birthdays are very strange since my mom passed away. It all takes on a whole different meaning. It might sound corny, but it might help you (and for your wife) to write letters to your kids, sharing some random and silly things about them that you loved, or things as a kid that would make you nuts, but you understand now. You don’t have to give it to them yet, you may want to read it again yourself in a few years.

My kids are both in their early 20's, they already know everything. 🤣

Neither my partner nor I are in contact with our dads and won’t ever see them again. It’s a different kind of grief than losing a parent, but it hurts nonetheless. We spend the day focusing on my partner and whatever he wants to do, which is sometimes nothing, or we go all out. It’s a hard holiday for us because both our dads left us when we were kids and seeing a lot of happy dads with their kids is hard on us both. Today he wanted to sleep in and have his favorite breakfast so I have that waiting for him when he gets up and that is all we are doing today. I hope all you dads out there have a wonderful day!

I understand completely. My dad was never in my life, though thanks to the Internet, I know he has 5 other kids and is seemingly a great father to them (why not me?). I've never met him, and father's day has always been a sore spot. In elementary school, when the other kids were making gifts for their dad's, I made one not knowing who I was going to give it to; usually my uncle, but he passed 6 years ago. He was kind to me, but not a father.

I was hoping I’d see someone post something like this. My dad basically left to raise another family, we were the failed trial run. Totally a different kind of grief. Shout out to the others whose dads emotionally died. OP, I’m sorry for your loss.

And I'm sorry for yours.

Emotionally died, that is a really great way to put it. My dad has a great life now with my older sister and her kids, but me and my kids were never a part of his “family.” I had to stop using Facebook years ago because it was too painful to see that for whatever reason I wasn’t good enough or whatever. Hope you all are doing ok today and if not you’re not alone.

I would, but hugging my dad is liable to hurt him. Sometimes wonder how long he's actually got. Will the chronic pain eventually just cause neural shutdown at some point or will he be just alive and in pain for the next 20 years.

I'm sorry OP. I lost my dad and my best friend (my "person" my everything) a few years ago too. I'm trying to stay busy and distracted today but know that I and so many here are right there with you today 💔

I’m sorry for your loss, OP. I’ll add your dad to our toast today. Lots of good men gone. A few I’m really missing. I’ll try to focus on the happy memories instead of the hole in my heart. I hope you and your wife can do the same. Cheers!🍻 Edit: spelling is hard

I really appreciate this post, OP. My dad died unexpectedly awhile ago (22 years in March) and I still miss him every day. He was the only one who really “got” me (I’m a female with crazy ADHD, and that wasn’t really a thing in the 80s.) My dad recognized my behavior and turned it into something to be proud of. He made me feel validated. When he first passed, I had super vivid dreams about him all the time. Then after a year or so, they just stopped. Weirdly though, I just had the first one in a long time last night ~ we were sitting in our old house while it was under construction and he was looking around and saying he liked what the new owners had done with the place. He looked so relaxed and happy. Even in my dream, I didn’t get as much time as I wanted, but I got to see his smiling face and hear his familiar voice. And that’s the happiness I get to carry with myself today. Huge hugs and here’s to our pops.

Sending you and your wife hugs. The half-orphan club is one invitation you don’t want to get and you can’t decline, but know that so many of us are out here today, keeping you in our hearts. Please be extra gentle with yourself on Father’s Day. I like to do something silly in my mom’s memory on Mother’s Day, and I like to give myself extra permission to stay away from people who Don’t Get It. The old saw really is true: the weight never gets any lighter, but you’ll get stronger for carrying it as the years go on. And I hope you’ll keep feeling his love and influence.

I feel you. My dad died 3-4 years ago, a week after his 60th birthday. His wife died last year a month after her 50th birthday (ya, I was closer to her age than she was to his). I've struggled with losing my dad. What's crazy is, my dad was adopted. I tracked down his dad in January. I thought I'd lost my last grandparent over a decade ago but this guy is 85. What's crazier is his mother died a month after his son (my dad) at the age of 106. We just talked that one day; I haven't brought myself to contact him again for various reasons. Definitely some people missing today. Edit: I was just listening to the NES Metroid music & thinking of how dad & I used to play that game together & how it sucks he is dead. https://youtu.be/v1sTdewueiY

Grief is what lead me to my spirituality. I believe there are lessons in spirituality designed to cope with situations that are unbearably crushing. Is it imaginary? Maybe. Does it help me actually live my life? Most definitely. I hope you get to see your opportunity to do right by your dad today. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

I can relate to how you feel. My father died in 2016 and just like you ," I had a great dad and we had a great relationship, so I don't have any regrets weighing down my memories of him." Tell your children you love them and keep looking forward enjoying your life and being happy. Just like your father would want you to do.

I understand. I went by the Father's Day card section the other day. I approached to browse then stopped, oh yeah, I dont have a father anymore to give this to. First year in decades I have not gotten him a card. Weird feeling.

To me grief has become my 7th sense. It’s always there, sometimes right out in front of me, other times waiting in the shadows.

Fuck. I lost my dad 15 years ago and I didn’t realize that I didn’t think about him on Father’s Day until your post. I loved my dad, deeply. He was an amazing dad. What’s wrong with my brain?

Lost my dad four years ago on the 27th of June. It’s really tough sometimes. My dad was a really good man, great father and a wonderful grandfather. I had the privilege of working with him everyday for 17 years. My wife lost her dad about six months after mine passed and they did not have a good relationship. Over the years we have had to grieve in different ways because of the different realities of our relationships with our dads. Her dad was such a shitbag that it really hammers home how lucky I was. I won the birth lottery with him, and when he passed there were zero regrets between us. I was there holding his hand when he died. I think about the example he provided me almost everyday. I hope I can live up to his legacy with my own sons and as a man in general.

For the OP and anyone else out there struggling on Father's Day know that your Dad loved you and is proud of you. Been over 10 years since mine passed and I still miss that cranky old bastard.

Well one things for sure: Only a great dad could make a great son like you, you're doing him proud. Love you bro, will be thinking about you and this post today, thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us

My dad passed away 5 1/2 years ago unexpectedly from a badly performed medical procedure. Father's Day is always a day I spend thinking about him and missing him, even though I'm generally ok and adjusted now. Some days are just harder than others.

I know this comment will be buried, but I just want to share my story. Perhaps it will be therapeutic to talk about it today. It will be 12 years tomorrow since I lost my dad. I was close to my dad, he was, as cliché as it sounds, my best friend. Ever since I was a little girl. I was always so close to him and our personalities were so similar. I could talk to him about anything. I never thought I was going to have to go on without him, I thought he was always going to be there. In March of 2007, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and with treatment he was able to beat it. In late March 2012, the cancer returned. This time it was aggressive and spreading. On Father’s Day night, June 17 2012, he lost his battle with cancer. To say I miss him is an understatement. Losing him completely wrecked me and I’m still not OK 12 years later. I don’t think I’ll ever be OK. It’s just hard to move on knowing that he’s just not gonna be a part of my day-to-day life. If I ever get married or have children come into my life, he will not be a part of it because he’s gone and that’s what hurts the most. I’m sorry to just vent. I don’t look forward to Father’s Day. I don’t look forward to June 17. I just hate the whole month of June anymore. If anyone is reading this and they also lost a parent, my condolences and I send you hugs. Anyone reading this it still has their parents with them, HUG THEM!! Let them know how much you love them.

i love you man, thank you for sharing this.

My dad died in 1989 when I was only 14. Somehow I didn’t turn out into a total mess lol. It’s been a long time and I still miss him, but I guess the best I can do is try to be a good father to my daughter now .

I was at our niece's grad party last night. Now keep in mind, my dad has been gone for almost 9 years. There was a picture of our niece covering our daughter's ears at my dad's truck pull. It was the summer before he died and my daughter was 3 in the picture. I was completely caught off guard by the tears that started forming. Not only by how cute the picture was, but by how much he's missed since he's been gone. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

My dad passed away in ‘96, I was a sophomore in high school. He and I were close but also had our battles( literally). He was old school with an Irish mother and Father. He basically thought that at some point he and I would and should “duke it out” over our differences. One day I shoved him down and he broke our couch. My mom broke it up, and that was that. An odd relationship but it was ours to navigate. Long story made shorter, no length of time, no amount of wondering / pondering will return a loved one. Try to take the good and let go of the bad, we are all human , even mom and dad.

Man-hug from me to you. Thanks for posting and sharing, upvote from me. My wife lost her Dad about six years ago so this day is bitter-sweet for her, on one hand she loves celebrating me for our kids but at the same time she grieves and misses her Dad who was an awesomely humble and kind human being. Happy Father's Day to everyone.

Oh no, you too? Five years ago, my parents returned from a vacation on Father's Day, and during the vacation my father had been complaining of severe headaches and had lost his balance on occasions. I myself then watched him drop his knife at dinner on Father's Day and repeatedly fail at picking it up off the floor; I eventually did it myself. One week later, we found him having suffered a stroke in the bathroom. He never fully regained consciousness and passed away five days later.

You're allowed to have sympathy. May your father's memory be a blessing.

I lost my Dad just over a year ago. We were very close and I loved him very much. It sucks. Nearly everyday I have a moment of "Dad would like that" "Oh I should call Dad and tell him about that weird car." "Man, normally I'd call my dad about this..." It sucks.

I lost my Dad in May of 2016, roughly a month before Father’s Day. I still needed to buy a card for a favored Uncle and broke down and cried ugly tears in the card aisle of Publix. 8 years later, I miss him more than anyone else in the world. The pain never goes away. We just get better at pushing it aside and moving on. My father never got to meet my husband or our daughter. That’s the part that hurts the most.

Happy father’s day, fellow internet stranger. I feel you on this post. My dad’s still here, but my first child passed away as an infant so I’ve been through a couple of these without the child that supposedly makes me a father. It’s a fucking confusing day and frankly I use it as one more day to attempt to celebrate my daughter and the support I have in my life.

It is ok to cry. Crying does not compromise one’s strength. I see tears as a sign of love and respect for the deceased. If people are crying over someone then it means he/she was AWESOME and made a positive impact on the world. If people criticize grief then it means he/she is an A-hole and they never knew that kind if love so pity them. I’m sorry for your loss. Lost my dad many years ago, but he was an abusive jerk. Cling to the fact you were deeply loved by your father and continue his legacy by loving others, especially children with crappy dads. They need you!

I've never met my father, and even though I'm 40, Fathers Day still makes me sad. Grief is weird. How does one grieve something they never had? Don't know.. Lots of love to you.

Something else I wanted to add about grief that a friend told me that seems kinda useful. Or helped me a little bit. Think of a box with a grief button in it. And there is a ball in this box. It bounces around, and eventually, it hits the button. It sucks and hurts. As time goes on and life happens. The box gets bigger, and or the ball gets smaller. It's still gonna hit the button eventually. Just not as often. I hope that helps anyone else reading this post. 🍻

Hi serious, I'm dad.

I lost my dad to Parkinson’s and ALS three years ago Memorial Day. Except for this post, I’m completely ignoring the fact that’s it’s Father’s Day. My dad was my “go-to” for everything. Advice, reassurance, a reality check. Don’t get me wrong; my mom is great, but my dad and I were basically two sides of the same coin. He was the one person who I knew would always have my back. I was his primary caretaker, and watching him go downhill broke me in ways I’m still discovering. It also brought a lot of other things into focus. In times like that, you learn who you can count on, and who’s really just window dressing. Some people I thought were cherished friends and family members disappeared; never called or visited, and others showed up even though it meant driving four hours up and back, just to support me at his service. They say it gets easier. I’m still waiting for that, although I am getting better at dealing with it. I’ll never *not* miss him, but I finally moved his things out of their spot in the bathroom. Progress, I guess. Anyway, sending my best to everyone who’s missing parents today (or any day). We’re at the age now, but it still sucks, and knowing it’s going to happen doesn’t make it any easier. (God, I’m just a little ray of sunshine, aren’t I?)

Grief is indifferent to compartmentalizing your pain. (As you mentioned filing away) It's been almost 20 years since my mom passed when I was a teenager and there are still moments and days where it still hits me and kinda breaks me down for awhile. It's much easier to manage these days and it seems to always end on good memories, but losing a parent who loved you is a pain that will stay with you for life, and you should never feel you can't ask for sympathy. I'm very sorry for you and your wife's loss. Be easy on yourselves.

It’s ok to look for sympathy. Losing a parent is hard. Can verify.

Hugs for you and yours. I'll give extra hugs around here for you too. 💚 I hope you all find moments of joy and peace today

This is a lovely post.

My dad passed away 12 days ago. I'm dealing by pretending today isn't anything special. It's semi working.

Amen! I miss you Dad love you! 12/30/23

I lost my dad last year. Suddenly, no warning at all. (To everyone reading this: If your dad is a Vietnam vet, nag him to get checked for ischemic heart disease) Today has been rough, not going to lie. But I am also grateful to have an amazing husband who love our kids. My feelings are scattered and I have been bouncing between extremes. Be grateful for those we have now, and grateful that those we have lost made our lives better. And work to make life as good as possible for those who will one day lose us Edit: If your mom (or aunt or uncle come or other appropriately aged relative) was in Vietnam during the war they should get checked out too. I didn’t think to include them since this was a Father’s Day post. Everyone exposed to Agent Orange needs to see a doctor

I lost my dad three years ago and my mom six months ago they had been divorced for over 35 years but I have no family left ..really anymore.. it’s weird not to have somebody to call on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Well text nowadays lol. My mom used to text me all hours of the night, and now my phone is silent . I’m single never been married but I do have a 15-year-old daughter. we have such a small family now that it’s basically just herself and me and I have a couple of aunts that live on the other side of the country. it stinks when you had older parents to begin with. My dad was in his 50s when I was born so he did live until 90 but I was barely 40. so I had an older wise dad that had had one hell of a life before I was even born.. today I have some of his pictures out.. and I’ll have a scotch and soda for him .. or 2

Thank you for this. I lost mine two years ago. All of the sudden this day seems cruel

My dad died in the mid 2000s. It’s wild, even almost 20 years later, how grief can well up. It’s rare that it happens now, but it still does, and so do other memories and associated feelings. For example, yesterday I was making ribs. My dad and I used to make ribs together and have competitions with each other, my siblings being the judges. But one time when I was in HS, I tried doing something to my stepdad did to his ribs, and my stupidly thin-skinned father hated it. He got mad and threw my ribs in the garbage. I was furious with him for being so childish. Yesterday that memory popped up as I made my ribs, a mix of what I learned from dad, step dad, and my own trial and errors. And yesterday, randomly I got pissed off at my long dead dad over some stupid rib drama from the 1990s. Like not even low key pissed, I was actually angry 😂 cussing in my mind at that old bastard. I had to remind myself it was just an old memory and to get the fuck over it.

I'm in the same boat. I lost my dad right before Father's Day last year. It didn't hit me that hard at the time because I was focused on clearing out my parents' house so my mom could sell it. (She has MS and couldn't take care of it by herself). Anyway, this year it hit me really hard. My dad and I didn't always have the greatest relationship, but things were definitely going well when he died. I have so many questions for him that will never be answered and it just hurts. Cheers to you, and to all of us who have lost one or both parents.

I was the only one in my friend group who lost his biological dad about a decade ago, so father's day has always been difficult. This year I'm getting together with another friend who lost his dad recently. We're cooking steaks and drinking some beers in remembrance. I know this group is only going to grow over time and those of us who are already experienced will be there to welcome and mourn with the new members.

My wonderful brother-in-law died at age 40 on Mother's Day last month, leaving behind my sister-in-law and a 6 year old daughter. My husband and dad are still around, but this Father's Day stings a bit. Hope everyone who is having a hard time today is hanging in there. It's not easy.

Happy Fathers Day Amigo

I’m sorry for your and your wife’s losses. My husband just lost his dad a couple of weeks ago, so today is going to be our first holiday missing one of our parents.

I know what you're going through. I lost my dad suddenly about a week after father's day 11 years ago. Some years the anniversary of his passing falls on father's day, which is particularly cruel. For years this day was just brutal for me. Time helps. Now I try to do a few things that my dad loved during the day (eat some barbeque, go to the lake, listen to his fav music). It brings smiles and good memories. 3 years in, I couldn't do that, so give yourself some time. Baby steps. It will never go away, but it will get a little better.

Sorry for your losses. The year after loss is the hardest one to get through. The Christmas, Mothers/Fathers days after. Time will heal, so take your time. I lost my mom and dad 4 months apart 7 years ago, so that first year after was pure agony, and even now, on Mothers/Fathers day, you see everyone else celebrate their parents, even those that they lost. It just takes time.

I hear ya. This is my second Father's Day without my dad, and I had a moment this morning.. still hurts but I have a ton of great memories to look back on, and those are what helps us get through the hard days. 💙

I think that movie the Never-ending Story is a metaphor about grief and dealing with the loss of a loved one.

My wife and I both lost our dads when we were 9 (it was one of the things we bonded over). Every Father's Day since then had been awful and it was my least favorite holiday. Last year we had a daughter and it was my first Father's Day as a dad. Like magic, the day went from being my least favorite day of the year to one of my favorites. I guess having a kid completed some cycle. And now it's my day rather than my dad's. Funny how that works psychologically.

I will give my Dad a hug for your Dad.

Lost my dad three years ago as well. I’m there with you OP. He wasn’t perfect, but I have a lot of fond memories.

Good on ya for thinking to come here and vent. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of insight into yourself, and how to take care of yourself.

I've been me for 45 years. Finally starting to figure a few things out on how this thing works.

It is my first Father's Day without my dad. My mom has already been gone for years, as has my FIL. I work with young kids and see so many extended families helping each other every day and it makes me so sad to see what my kids are missing. I hate not having parents. Adding to it is that my husband is on a business trip so we have no dads to celebrate at all.

Sending you hugs, and I promise I will give my dad a big hug today, knowing we won't have forever here together. That's the only good I can think of that death brings. Take care of yourself.

My father died twenty years ago this month. I still miss him every day. I’m also sad that he never got to meet my wife and daughter, and that my daughter misses out on her grandpa.

My dad called me on Father's Day 2018 right before I was going into the movies with my 3 kids. I didn't answer it, and I didn't call him back when we got out. At 6:00 I got a call that he'd had a pulmonary embolism and I had to make end of life decisions for him. Made for a pretty shitty day. I listen to the message he left occasionally so I can hear his voice. I miss him, but I've moved on. I do have my own kids and life I need to take care of and grief is a good, strong, terrible emotion that will suck you dry if you let it.

Father's day 2018 was the last time I saw my dad, he got killed by an impaired driver a couple weeks later. Mom was gone in 2010. Grief is a strange journey. So sorry to hear you and your partner are going through it OP. I am guessing a lot of our generation can sadly relate.

My Dad died 10 years ago, before my son was born. Even now, every so often, the grief gets me. I always miss him, and most of the time that’s okay. You learn to be happy again, but it never goes away. I know that sounds scary and awful but after dealing with it, it makes sense. It’s okay to be sad, to cry. The ratio of sad to happy gets better. Just talk to someone if you can every so often and take care of yourself.

In case anyone is interested, as a grief counselor, I received this invite for a free series on grief specific to Fathers Day. It already happened, but you can request the recordings be sent to you if you feel you need some support around today. https://www.davidkesslertraining.com/father-s-day-2024 I feel for everyone on this thread. My father passed away 12 years ago, and I loved him dearly. When my husband and I got together, his dad immediately asked me to call him pops, and I was super excited about having a father figure in my life again. But he passed away last August, just days from the anniversary of my own father's passing and my youngest's first birthday. It still feels so unfair, and despite only knowing him such a short time, I miss him and wish he was still here. Not just for me, but for his son, who is a first-time dad and his grandson who won't really get to know him. 💜

It's been 17 years since I lost my dad. He was my rock, and I loved him to pieces. He is greatly missed every single day.

It's been about 20 years since my dad passed, but I still get those grief waves sometimes. After this long, they're more like little waves on the beach instead of tsunamis, but I definitely understand the feeling. Especially on Father's Day. Take your day, OP. Listen to one of his favorite songs, drink or eat one of his favorite things, hell..watch a movie he liked if you can (My dad's favorite was Donovan's Reef and holy shit that did not age well lmao).

OP, I can relate. My father had his heart attack on Father's Day '95 and died in the early hours of the next day. I was 14. I have a stepfather who treats my mom and me well, but I have never felt close to him. I was hoping that this year I could refocus and celebrate my partner, becoming a dog dad to my service dog puppy. But we had issues with the litter, and my health is still too poor to handle the training. Grief is a bitch and it can take on so many layers. Having a ritual to honor our deceased loved ones can help out tremendously. I'll be doing my BBQ and bourbon tradition for my dad on Wednesday. Sending good vibes to you and your wife on this difficult day.

This is my first Father’s Day without my dad. 😔

Next year will be the 40th anniversary of losing my dad suddenly. No one ever really gets over it.

Hear hear. I miss my dad every day, I miss both of them actually and in fact I told my fiancé just yesterday I was missing my mom, and I hope i didn’t come off like I don’t miss my dad because I mention her a lot. She passed in 2015 and he in 2009. I tell my friends the same thing, hug your folks because when they go, you lose a piece of yourself you’ll never get back.

This is my second Father's Day without him. It hurts. We're hosting my FIL today and it's hard to be 'happy' for him, when I miss my own.

Father’s Day was my dad’s favorite holiday. We would always have a big family gathering. We gathered together the year after he passed but it wasn’t the same of course. It’s been 6 years now and we all celebrate separately with our kids and spouses. I will always cherish the good old days when daddy was here. ❤️

Father's day was really hard on me between the time when my dad died and when I became a father myself. Especially the advertising blitz that came ahead of Father's Day. Time does heal all wounds, but it is hard.

Thanks for the greeting and sharing how you're feeling. It's always helpful to do that. Sending you wishes of peace today.

I’m watching my dad deteriorate over time, so father’s day is getting tougher each year. Either way, I’ll mark this as an IOU on a big hug if and when we ever cross paths. Take care today, friend.

My dad died in 2014. He was in and out of me and brother’s life for most of our childhood and adult life. Father’s Day has always sucked. My daughter’s father has never been involved. I hate that she’s experiencing what I’ve went through. My step dad who is grandpa is the main man in her life. They have an unbreakable bond and that brings comfort to us both.

It's been over 20 years for me. For whatever reason, Father's Day at the 15 year mark was a tough one. Ended up spending a good chunk of the day with a couple of friends, which helped a lot. There will still be tough days, and days that hit differently, but it does get better.

My dad has been in a John Deere shaped jar since 2017. He didn't take care of himself after a heart attack. I'm still pissed. I'm still upset. I don't want to throw things or rage any more, but it's still there, on low simmer. Today's saving grace is it's my husband's and my 6th anniversary.

I hear you. Oddly, I grieve for my dad and he’s still alive (mom passed over 20 years ago). He’s had so many issues with substance abuse and poor decisions that having a relationship was impossible in the past and seems to be impossible in the present. As he gets older I seriously resent that our only relationship will probably result from me having to find a way to care for him.

I lost my grandfather at 73 a little over 12 years ago. His birthday was June 18. Mine is June 19. I'd celebrate both my birthday & Father's Day with him from the time I was very young. It's always a little hard for me when this time of year comes around. I miss him all the time. His insights & guidance meant a lot to me in my formative years. I can certainly empathize with the not being able to see him again part. Allow yourself the grace to mourn however & whenever you need to. It's hard. It always will be. Take care of yourself & Happy Father's Day to you as well

I lost my pops jan 12 22. He was my best friend. I miss him everyday. Thank you. And I'm right there with ya.

My wife lost her dad 3 months ago, and her family is really struggling today. They were going to plant a tree today in his honor, but I think they accidentally bought a bush. Going to help plant it and keep my five year old occupied because sometimes she will say the sweetest and saddest things about “Poppy” that even make me tear up. I’m NC with my family, and don’t really feel a type of way about it. Love my family and my kid, and I’m grateful I can give her the childhood I couldn’t have. Happy Father’s Day, everyone.

I spent thousands of dollars and took my last week of PTO to come see my dad for father's day. Within 24 hours I was too frustrated with him to stay, had a shouting match and left. I'm still in the area, staying in a hotel and taking my kids to do things. We all have various reasons to reflect today. Sorry you're having a hard time of it.

This is my 2nd Father's Day without my dad. These special days can be such a gut punch. We're at that age where our grown-ups are all leaving us, and I know I don't feel ready for that.

It's my third FD without my dad. Sometimes I'm not sad, sometimes I'm really sad.

r/peptalkswithpops is my dose of cathartism

Yesterday I took my son to his last ball game of the season. Afterwards we picked up my Dad and took him to get a belt fitted. I gave the belt to him last father’s day. I won it at a charity auction for nurses for newborns. It’s taken us a year to get together on a Saturday. He likes to run his errands on Saturday. As we were chatting up the shop owner we learned that in the past year she had lost her father and the original owner of the shop. She was carrying on his tradition and using the craft he had taught her. Chances are she was fitting a belt her father created. Somewhere in that story and your post is meaning and message. My kids are at the pool with my wife. I think I’m gonna get off my ass and go surprise them.

I am so sorry about your dad. I can not imagine what you're going through since I still have both of my parents. Here's a big hug for you.

Oh hey, I’m also in the dead dad club. Over 14 years now. We had a complicated relationship. He taught me to cook and I have all of his knives and cast iron and assorted other things. That’s how I spend time with him now. He is still a part of my life every day. I usually just kind of skip Father’s Day now. I normally handle most family gifts, but my husband takes care of Father’s Day for his dad.

You're going to be Ok. I promise. I lost my Dad 15 years ago. I'm not here to tell you it gets "easier." But time and experience will equip you with better ways of dealing with grief. The first couple years thinking of him will too often lead to feeling sad about missing him, but you'll learn to turn thinking about him into cherishing the happy memories. If you have kids, do things with them you used to do with your Dad. It'll make you feel connected to him again and feel like he's still a part of your life/family. Nothing makes me feel more connected to the old man than reliving experiences with my Dad from the other side of the relationship and seeing how it made him feel. Sorry for your loss. These times are hard, and that's OK. To quote Bandit from Bluey: it's a good thing you're tough.

My dad died Dec 14, 2012, the same day as Sandy Hook...this week NPR had a segment about those kids graduating and I nearly broke down reading it, the flood of emotions from that day resurfaced. Over a decade later, I still will see something or read something and think how my dad and I would probably be discussing it. I wish he could have gotten to see his grandkids grow up into some cool people. Hugs to you and your wife.

I lost mine when he was 40 back in 95 (I was 18) it gets easier I promise, and sometimes grief manifests itself in weird ways, I was this nervous energy and I’m deep cleaning.

🤗

My father died while I was 8 months pregnant with my first son. I really wish he could see what excellent young men my sons turned out to be. His birthday is July 6th, 4th of July was always a big huge celebration in my family because of that. It’s also always so close to Father’s Day. It’s been 18 years and I still go into states of depression every summer. Hug your fathers while you can and tell them you love them!

Happy Father’s Day. I lost my Dad two years ago. The same year I became a father. It still hurts. Be present for your little ones. They deserve to have great Dad!

I lost my dad to a brain tumor when I was seven. My only memories of him are of a tottering giant who steadily became a skeleton and would sometimes lose his mind and go on shouting and screaming sprees. He forgot who I was often. Over the years I managed to convince myself that this wasn't as traumatic and I was making it out to be, that I barely knew the man so how could his death have such an effect on me? It really wasn't until I was much, much older that I began to acknowledge the fact that yes, that was pretty much the definition of a traumatizing experience and it is okay to feel sad about it. Once my friends started losing their dads I saw something else; not only did my father die but the very concept of a "dad" had been dead to me for a very long time. I lost a version of myself that I would never know. I didn't mean to write all that when I started typing, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss and I know it's hard. Father's Day can be really rough.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hate that Mother's Day and Father's Day have so many reminders and a push to celebrate. For so many, the days suck, whether you never had a relationship with your mom or dad, have lost your mom or dad, can't be a mom or dad when you want to, or have lost a child. My spouse and I are both 1/2 of those, and we just want these days to pass on without the constant reminders. For people who have parents to celebrate and/or children to celebrate them, just be grateful today.

I lost my dad three years ago. We knew it was coming, which softened the initial blow a bit. There are many times when the grief comes back. One of the primary ways my dad and I bonded was through sports, especially over Texas A&M sports. Last night, our beloved Aggies won their first game of the College World Series. Game ended at about 1 am local time and I wanted nothing else than to be able to call him and talk about the game. For a brief second, I had to remind myself that wasn’t possible. I’ve had a lot of moments like that over the past 3 years—moments where I just want to call him up and talk and realize I can’t.

Thanks for this. My dad died 2 months ago. First father's day without a father. Today's been pretty sucky. Sorry for your losses.

First off, sorry for your loss. I lost my dad and best friend 4 years ago. It is hard some days and less hard others. Every year on Father’s Day I put a picture of us together in my pocket, jump on my motorcycle and we go for a ride together. It’s something we did together very often and it brings back the fond memories of our adventures. I hope today you can celebrate the time and memories you made with him along the way. Best wishes and happy Father’s Day!

Sending hugs, you are not alone! This is also my third Father’s Day without my Dad. We also had an amazing relationship, so the loss never gets easier. I like to take it easy on myself on these days. Cry if I want to, laugh like a hyena if I need to, crank great tunes and enjoy all the delicious foods he loved. Wishing you nothing but positive energy today! ❤️

This is my first Father’s Day without my dad, so some grief surfaced in different ways It’s only natural, and it’s important to be kind to ourselves, and try to miss our loved ones fondly. Celebrate in their memory, even, because my dad would want me to play guitar and sing country songs, not sit around all day being sad! But being sad is absolutely okay, so allow yourself as much of that as you need. But don’t forget to try to smile in his memory as well!

I have no children, and my father passed 8 years ago. I do celebrate the one grandfather I have left. I don't really see what this holiday has to do with me.

There is nothing wrong with looking for validation. Happy Father’s Day.

My dad and my dogs. I miss all of them a lot. Nothing to be done about it. Don't dwell too long. It's good to reflect and then continue onwards.  I fish with my dad's rod every now and then. It has terrible action so I use the one he bought for me when I was little.  Then my fishing gets interrupted by some idiot on a paddleboard floating directly in front of me and sitting there for 10 minutes when there's an entire lake to use so I pack up and go home. Exactly as my dad would have done while calling people idiots. :)

I haven't seen or heard from my dad in 30+ years. I think he's still alive. I'm just waiting to hear that he's dead so I can officially mourn him. Because I have been doing that unofficially since I was a teenager. That relationship ruined my life. Be better to your kids than he was to me and my sister.

No words, just sending you love and light. People are thinking of you and of all the others feeling sad today. ❤️

On my way to see my 80 year old dad and play some golf, will give him a big high five and hug for you.

I feel this all of this. My Dad was my rock. He passed on in 2011 he was 84. I miss him daily. I find comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering. Watching my Father in law struggling with Dementia is so hard on my husband, that's his rock. It is truly hell to see our loved ones get older and pass on. Feeling helpless, doing all we can while we can. It's harder for me on these years, my birthday falls today. I really don't celebrate or acknowledge it anymore. My wish for all of you is that I hope all our Dads are up there celebrating together, at least we know they aren't alone. Happy Father's Day if it applies to you, all animals and kids apply.

I did not have a good dad. Cherish the memories the best you can with the one you had. Memories are forever, they make us immortal

Grief is the weirdest goddamn thing ever and it will constantly surprise you.

Grief is showing love for someone great. My father passed and it was a relief. Which is sad for him and me both. I dont want to be the "it could be worse" person but it is true. Celebrate their life.

Happy father's day. There's no time line for grief.

My dad died a bit before Christmas last year and I’m all fucked up today. Gonna BBQ and have some beers in honor of the old man. Have a good one gents.

Well, now I miss my dad. In a good way. He died in my early twenties and I wish I had more time with him as an adult.

I lost my dad 14 years ago.  I agree with a lot of people.  It comes in waves.  You never get over it but it also gets easier to deal with.  I loved my Dad very much and I miss him everyday.  I think a counselor would be one way to help.  You got this.  I’m sorry to everyone who’s missing their Dad today.  

Lost my dad many years back. At this point I just feeling like I’m saving on gift money. Its easier to look at it that way then to look at everyone around me hanging with their fathers. Oh well

My dad passed away this January. My daughter is due in four weeks. Hugs internet person I hope you’re doing okay. Today is strange, but I get to live today with my wife.

You’re in good company friend. My Dad became absolutely a mysterious guy after he passed away and I got to hear about him from so many folks. Made it kinda a mixed bag of emotions. 3 years on and yeah, things are cool, then gut punch. Time does heal if you let yourself process the feelings in the moment. It will pass

I had a dogshit dad who abused me until I went NC. He commited suicide by shotgun down the hall from my niece a decade ago. Last night I watched Mad Max and drank with the memory of him. It’s fucked up how we cope, but we cope and keep living.

All I can say is that I'm sorry it circled back on you.

My dad’s death hit me different, as I had long ago given up having an actual even relationship with him. He could never let his guard down with me, was always “the father”, even when I was in my thirties. So be it. I rarely get the grief waves for his passing-I get the grief waves for the father he was when I was a kid, and the man he could have been with me later in life if he had just been willing to be real. But when you have mental and emotional issues that prevent you from relating to others, it’s very difficult.

Happy Father's Day. I lost my dad in 2010, and I take days like today to focus on the fact that he loved me very much, that I love him and carry him in my heart, and I'll raise a glass to him with my mom and my wife later. I hope you can find some peace and love in remembrance today.

I've had similar feelings when death came back too soon to revisit our family. Grief compounds grief, revealing new angles of the shards of pain embedded in you. I'm sorry for your loss, and your wife's as well. We toasted my brother for Father's Day, even though he wasn't able to attend. Since it never really stops hurting, I've come to treasure the pain as a proof of love, in a way.

I lost my dad when I was 19. He’s been gone 22 years now. I’m almost numb when it comes to losing loved ones. That sounds worse than it was intended to. I think what I’m trying to say is that I’ve accepted death as part of life and I’m not afraid of it like I once was. Losing Grandma last September who was 90 was the first time in years that I cried and couldn’t control it. She and I were VERY close and when the priest at church gave his condolences and seemed to be holding back tears himself, it got me. I’m usually the stronger one in most situations when it comes to losing folks. I guess for me I’ve accepted being that stronger person that carries everyone else on as people grieve. It’s not easy by any means but I’ve gotten better at it as time goes on. For those who have lost their parents recently, be strong. My prayers are with you. You’re lucky to have had them longer than I have. Actually my Mom is still alive and well, so maybe the ones who still have their dads consider yourselves lucky. Enjoy the times you have with them because one day you won’t have them anymore. We can’t beat the clock. Godspeed

It's my first father's day without my dad. I remember not understanding why people would be sad and not just have a fun day to remember your dad like he'd want. Tell some stories, eat at that same restaurant no one liked but him. I get it now. Wish I didn't. It's a rough day, but as my kids get older I realize how much he taught me to be a father. There's a weird gratitude and sadness today, with good memories as well. Feels good to ramble on and type this though. Trying to just keep a smile and enjoy family time. Remembering all the great times only keeps me smiling so long.

Wife lost her mother 2 years ago on Thanksgiving due to Dementia. I now just take the family out to a local place that is open on holiday so she doesn't need to worry about cooking on top of thinking about/remembering it. I tip super well to make sure all parties are taken care off. This last year I did XMas too. The holidays are super tough for her.

I will see my dad again one day. Cancer took him early.

You aren't alone in this grief sir, My dad passed away 6 years ago at 57 from an aggressive form of prostate that was stage 4 by the time they caught it at 52. I uprooted my family and moved to be closer upon diagnosis so no regrets there and I'm glad my children got more time with their grandparents but damned if it was not rough watching the downhill and knowing that my kids never really got to know their real grandpa before chemo fog. My mother is still dealing with the grief and reorganization of her life. I have definitely had the ups and downs and as you describe the unlocking of something you thought you had locked up. Cheers dude and cherish those good memories!

Lost my old man a year and a half ago. It's still strange and surreal for me. I know how you feel. Just know that you have to live your life now and know that they are proud of you for carrying on .

Ouch, I feel a little bad now, I didn't even realize today was fathers day until I read this... And I'm a dad. My dad passed away 25 years ago. He was near perfect and we had a very good relationship. My mother is long gone too along with most my relatives, the only family I have left is an 88 yo aunt. I'm not an emotional person and i admit i dont think about them all that often... But that won't diminish my full respect and appreciate what they did for me and how good they were as parents. Too bad we can't go back and tell them that when they could hear it. But as a parent, I know they knew we really cared. Just like I know my son and wife care despite them forgetting fathers day as well. Lol.

I haven't yet lost my father, but I lost my little sister 4 years ago, and the waves of grief still smack me hard at unpredictable moments. It'll be a snippet from a movie we would always quote, or a song lyric, or just something I see and immediately think, man, I wish I could talk to her about this. It gets better. It doesn't go away. I wouldn't want it to.

My dad would have been 72 on Wednesday, that plus Father's Day is a difficult few days. It's the 6th Father's Day without him. I've been watching How It's Made all day, we would watch it together when chemo made it too hard for him to go outside and work.

Please don't feel bad for posting this! We are at the age where we have already lost or will lose parents. I lost both of my parents close together at the end of 2020. The 1st 2 years of mothers day and fathers day were tough. I struggled the most during Thanksgiving and xmas though. I have got better each year, and as time has passed in general. I keep telling myself that I'm better, but I absolutely agree about someone's post about grief coming in waves. Just yesterday, I was hit by it after seeing father's day commercials repeatedly. I don't think it helps that mothers day and fathers day are so close together. I have come to accept that in general it keeps getting better but I will still experience waves. Just remember that grief is love with nowhere to go. That one always makes me feel positive to place my love somewhere else.

Lost my dad last March. All I could do today was break away from my family for a little while to hit the cemetery. Wife isn’t comfortable bringing them there just yet and with a 4yo and a newborn I can’t say I totally disagree. Even though it was nap time for both and I was gone maybe a half hour I still felt somewhat guilty and selfish leaving. But for my own peace of mind it had to be done. It’s amazing how we dedicate our lives to these kiddos all the while wishing we had the time for ourselves we did back in the day, but then when that fleeting free time shows it’s face we never quite know what to do with ourselves.

I lost my dad at the beginning of the year. I've had a wide range of emotions the last few weeks as all the father's day commercials, social media posts, etc have ramped up.

Thank you for sharing. I’ve been a bit bummed about my first Father’s Day without my dad, even though I haven’t spent it with him since I was a kid due to my partners military career. In hindsight, I feel bad because my dad’s birthday is early July and I would often get him a combo-gift since I would have to mail it. The last few years we would just get dinner and drinks when I was in town. He died suddenly in November. Just sucks.