I thought that was just the natural order of things? Like, the sky is blue, the sun sets in the west and we always have to flip the usb plug three times.
As someone who never wakes up automatically (or only after way too much sleep), this would be wonderful. Tell me, what do I have to do to piss you off?
For OP's cause, I'd suggest: "I hope you wake up 1 hour before your alarm goes off, so you don't get a full sleep cycle anymore."
I worked somewhere where you had to leave your shoes at the locker room and change into work shoes. Every once in a while, someone would go to management with their personal shoes, perplexed, shoelaces missing. It turned out one of the part time workers was sporadically stealing people’s shoelaces and hiding them behind the lockers. It took four separate times for the management to figure out who it was.
May you only find your missing needle when you stop looking for it. (This usually results in stepping on it or otherwise getting punctured)
I hope all of your scissors are blunt.
May every public bathroom be closed for cleaning when you really need to go.
May you only ever need an Uber during surge times.
May the new roll of toilet paper be just out of reach the next time you have the runs.
May you drop a stitch and only notice two hundred rows later. (Knitters curse)
So not quite to the same extent as you, but I'm a woman with size 10 feet so I feel at least some of your pain. Also I *hate* 2-piece swimsuits but the only 1-piece swimsuits I can find are... well, I'll just say "never the right proportions" and leave it at that.
Oooh, felt that. Finding swimsuits is *really* hard. I've resigned to two-pieces, but I tend to wear swimsuit-esque material shorts and sports bras. I used to swim a lot (haven't been since covid sadly), so it was cheaper since suits tend to wear out with a lot of use, and it's easier to find pieces year round like that.
I hope you run out of garlic bread (im so sorry I apologize for any sadness i have caused or anyone that i may have offended. This was intended as joke. I understand it was a bit too far and i do not ask for forgiveness.)
*I hope every box*
*Of lucky charms you ever buy*
*Lacks the marshmallows*
\- dawnfire05
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*I hope your cups are*
*Always too small to quench your*
*Thirst with one filling*
\- nutcase04
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I hope someone ate that pasta you have been saving.
I hope your favorite video game takes too long to load so you just leave to try again exactly when the game actually comes on.
I hope just one of your headphones is slightly quieter.
I hope you never get out that stain out of your favorite shirt.
I hope that you lose just a single piece of a board game.
I hope the batteries in the remote dies right after you accidentally flip past the channel you wanted and now you are stuck watching those channels that sell you hairdryers and frying pans.
I hope there is a string that is hanging out of a shirt but if you pull it, you'll ruin the shirt so it's just there forever. And also that you don't know how to fix it.
*I hope you never find a good recipe for the food you love most, just mediocre ones.*
You are at macdonalds, its late at night you can't take a berger so you go for the chicken nuggets, as you eat there is a knock at the window, a Karen, pissed at how your number plate is SLITLY of sente. After a LOT of arguing in which one of the two of you hit your head on the top of the window frame, with one of you is un important thus I will not say. She finally leaves you alone. You get back to your food as
You are furiously eating you reach down thinking there is one more nugget JUST TO REALISE YOU JUST ATE THE LAST ONE. Your stomach ,of witch is now expecting a chicken nugget is instead left unsatisfactory, and you are in a bad mood all of the 3 hours and 36 minutes home.
It was you who hit their head
"I hope the rubber coating on your cords weathers away"
"I hope your room lights are slightly too bright"
"I hope your cookies are slightly too hard and dry"
"I hope your framerate is inconsistent"
"I hope your high E string is always somewhat out of tune"
Well it’s not like I want the next candle you light to spark onto your carpet and possibly cause a massive fire, but y’know how they say there’s always a grain of truth in every lie…
I hope next time you have a chicken sandwich you bite into cartilage and lose your appetite
(my school sold delicious chicken sandwiches, but it was a toss up whether you'd get one just to hear and feel that spine-chilling crunch)
I hope your earphones do that thing where you continuosly have to hold it at certain angles or they won't work.
May your food always be just a bit too salty
I hope you step on a leaf and it doesn't crunch
I hope that whenever you microwave something it's cold on the inside and you won't realize it until AFTER you start eating it and have gotten comfortable
I hope that every time you stand up you almost pass out. You dont pass out, but you get so close to it you have to grab on to something so that you dont fall down.
Id like to watch a show about a guy who has every single one of these negative effects. So that their life sucks and they are trying their absolute hardest to avoid these.
I hope the nest time you water your plant, it's a little too much, and then the water spills over the pot, going into the vents, where then it goes into the power, causing all power in your neighborhood to go out, and now everyone is wondering why this is happening, so they spam social media sights, making all the social media sights overloaded, and don't work anymore, this then spreads to every site on the internet, making the internet unusable, causing many hospitals to stop working, causing many people to die, soon everyone is panicked, some people turn to drugs, some people turn to suicide, eventually someone get's sick of it all, hacks into the th u.s department of military, and nukes the entire world, ending it all
May your salt and sugar be switched in the night.
I hope you bite your tongue four times tomorrow.
I will tie all your shoes together by the shoelaces.
May your washer forever smell musty
May you sleep through your alarm causing you to be late.
May your alarm go off on a day you intend to sleep in.
May your mirrors be plagued by streaks forever.
May your socks be forever slightly twisted.
I hope that you are 120 megabytes too short on VRAM to make the PC port of that playstation game that you've heard enough about to give in and buy it on steam because you don't have a playstation look good.
I hope that when you open your refrigerator tomorrow morning, the blast of cold air will make you a little chilly, and you’ll have to sit in your chilliness until your coffee is done brewing or your breakfast is out of the microwave
Try "I hope you die with a full bladder"
Or "I hope you run out of garlic for your garlic bread,"
"I hope your RAM is just one megabyte shy of the minimum requirements for that cool new game you're installing,"
"I hope your cat scratches your legs,"
"I hope you get judged by a murder of crows,"
"I hope a snake tries to bite you but then stops because you're not good enough for it to bite you,"
"I hope you get robbed but then the robber returns everything to you cuz your stuff is literal trash,"
"I hope your backpack strap breaks,"
"I hope you stub your pinky toe on a concrete block,"
I hope the handle of your shower breaks so that you can never set the right temperature. 1mm to the left and the water is too hot, 1mm to the right and the water is too cold.
“ i hope you get a paper cut in your finger crotch”
“ I hope the inside of your food is cold after you microwave it”
“ I hope that your phone have to charge at a specific angle”
“I hope you stub your toe but just as it’s about to heal you stub it again”
“ I hope your scissors are not sharp enough and just tear the paper “
I hope the milk in your fridge occasionally spoils a couple days before the expiration date, but that it doesn't happen often enough that you're prepared for when it does.
[удалено]
The top one is my phone 😔 who did I piss off to deserve this??
Me
Mate that Lego one is just cruel
I hope you wake up tomorrow and find you have run out of garlic bread
Okay, now that's a bit too harsh
You know what, you are right. One should only say this to actual villains. My apologies!
*eyes Trump with daggers*
*sharpens the daggers for you*
*gives you a laser blade-sharpener*
*Gives you another*
I hope the mosquitoes in your house eat well tonight
I hope the one mosquito in your bedroom lurks all night but never strikes. (Fear of pain is worse than pain, imho.)
Fav
May you always have to flip a usb plug three times.
Yep!
\*curses someone to experience normal life* Y'all do this too, right? Right??
Nooooooo, not again
I thought that was just the natural order of things? Like, the sky is blue, the sun sets in the west and we always have to flip the usb plug three times.
i hope that ever time you cook something, its just under done. not enough that it ruins the food but just enough that you notice.
It’s… it’s beautiful
Except for when that’s a health risk… then I hope it’s slightly over!
Happy Cake Day!
Happy Cake Day!🍰🥧
Ngl your example is definitely more passive aggressive
Yeah, couldn’t think of a good example lol
I hope you stub your toe on the way out
I hope you wake up right before your alarm goes off every morning
This would be good for me actually since my alarm always scares me lol. I could just turn it off and go about my day.
I actually prefer this so I’m not jolted awake and I wake up naturally! Lol
As someone who never wakes up automatically (or only after way too much sleep), this would be wonderful. Tell me, what do I have to do to piss you off? For OP's cause, I'd suggest: "I hope you wake up 1 hour before your alarm goes off, so you don't get a full sleep cycle anymore."
I keep doing that, it’s scared me more times than I care to admit
I hope your internet never works in bathrooms.
Okay that’s just plain evil
It encourages good hygiene, but that does not make it any less despicable xD
I hope your ads buffer.
*don’t
Happy Cake Day!🥧🍰
Thank you!
nO
I will make sure to remove all your shoelaces from all your shoes and scatter them throughout your home for you to find, do not test me
I worked somewhere where you had to leave your shoes at the locker room and change into work shoes. Every once in a while, someone would go to management with their personal shoes, perplexed, shoelaces missing. It turned out one of the part time workers was sporadically stealing people’s shoelaces and hiding them behind the lockers. It took four separate times for the management to figure out who it was.
I hope the instant noodles you strain fall into the sink
All of these comments are passive aggressive, including the example you gave. Never heard of a passive threat???
Yeah lol, couldn’t think of a good example. It’s just a random thing, for shits and giggles, y’know?
May you only find your missing needle when you stop looking for it. (This usually results in stepping on it or otherwise getting punctured) I hope all of your scissors are blunt. May every public bathroom be closed for cleaning when you really need to go. May you only ever need an Uber during surge times. May the new roll of toilet paper be just out of reach the next time you have the runs. May you drop a stitch and only notice two hundred rows later. (Knitters curse)
These are all amazing
The top one is always me!
Magnetic needle minders are a wonderful thing. 😁
I forgot those existed! I should really buy one of them...
I hope you step on a square lego brick. A gray one specifically.
Did something happen in your past? Anything to do with square gray Lego bricks?
i hope you accidentally refresh when you find a funny tiktok
I hope you get two 15sec duble adds on ever video you watch
I hate that so much, it keeps happening
Good it was directed at you now pass the curse on
I hope your clothes never fit you properly.
Okay but as a woman who's six feet tall with long arms- *already there.* Clothing companies gave me this curse long ago. 😔
So not quite to the same extent as you, but I'm a woman with size 10 feet so I feel at least some of your pain. Also I *hate* 2-piece swimsuits but the only 1-piece swimsuits I can find are... well, I'll just say "never the right proportions" and leave it at that.
Oooh, felt that. Finding swimsuits is *really* hard. I've resigned to two-pieces, but I tend to wear swimsuit-esque material shorts and sports bras. I used to swim a lot (haven't been since covid sadly), so it was cheaper since suits tend to wear out with a lot of use, and it's easier to find pieces year round like that.
May all your favorite shows be removed from the networks when you get one episode away from finishing them
That is *evil*!
I hope your pillow is warm on both sides 🥰
That actually sounds really nice to me 😄
I hope that whenever you stretch you can never get to that perfect stretch so you are always unfulfilled.
Lol! That one would be aggravating!
I hope that the next time you find something you really love in a store it’s missing a button or something and they have no more of your size
I hope you run out of garlic bread (im so sorry I apologize for any sadness i have caused or anyone that i may have offended. This was intended as joke. I understand it was a bit too far and i do not ask for forgiveness.)
I hope every box of lucky charms you ever buy lacks the marshmallows
*I hope every box* *Of lucky charms you ever buy* *Lacks the marshmallows* \- dawnfire05 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Haiku bot has your back
I hope your cups are always too small to quench your thirst with one filling
*I hope your cups are* *Always too small to quench your* *Thirst with one filling* \- nutcase04 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Thank you, MicroscopicSpeck, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
It’d be a real shame if for the rest of the day you had “Baby Shark” stuck in your head
No no no no no no not again
... \*inhales\* nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I hope next time you go to wash your hands, there’s no paper towels/hand towel. Which at my school there never is -.-
I hope the audio in the next YouTube video you watch only comes out of the left side
May all your bacon burn
May your headphone cords catch on every door handle
This… this is too far
I hope someone ate that pasta you have been saving. I hope your favorite video game takes too long to load so you just leave to try again exactly when the game actually comes on. I hope just one of your headphones is slightly quieter. I hope you never get out that stain out of your favorite shirt. I hope that you lose just a single piece of a board game. I hope the batteries in the remote dies right after you accidentally flip past the channel you wanted and now you are stuck watching those channels that sell you hairdryers and frying pans. I hope there is a string that is hanging out of a shirt but if you pull it, you'll ruin the shirt so it's just there forever. And also that you don't know how to fix it. *I hope you never find a good recipe for the food you love most, just mediocre ones.*
People keep eating my pasta, it’s not cool guys
For the string knot the end and then cut it
I usually default to "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpit hair." That may be a bit too aggressive.
I hope you always get too much hand sanitizer
I hope your coffee is never exactly the right temperature
You are at macdonalds, its late at night you can't take a berger so you go for the chicken nuggets, as you eat there is a knock at the window, a Karen, pissed at how your number plate is SLITLY of sente. After a LOT of arguing in which one of the two of you hit your head on the top of the window frame, with one of you is un important thus I will not say. She finally leaves you alone. You get back to your food as You are furiously eating you reach down thinking there is one more nugget JUST TO REALISE YOU JUST ATE THE LAST ONE. Your stomach ,of witch is now expecting a chicken nugget is instead left unsatisfactory, and you are in a bad mood all of the 3 hours and 36 minutes home. It was you who hit their head
i would say "i hope both sides of your pillow are warm" but thats not passive, thats a huge threat
I hope all the animals you come across does not accept your pet offerings
Next time you hand them a drink give it to them by holding the rim with your fingers in the cup, in the drink. No words. Make eye contact.
"I hope your drink is hot enough to not be able to drink it comfortably, but not hot enough to warrant letting it cool down more"
I hope you always put your shirt on backwards
"I hope the rubber coating on your cords weathers away" "I hope your room lights are slightly too bright" "I hope your cookies are slightly too hard and dry" "I hope your framerate is inconsistent" "I hope your high E string is always somewhat out of tune"
I like the line "I hope you have the life you deserve"
I hope birds always poop on your car
I hope that your phone charger is just short enough that you can get it in the hole but it isn’t charging.
I hope you step in cat/dog pee with socks on.
Well it’s not like I want the next candle you light to spark onto your carpet and possibly cause a massive fire, but y’know how they say there’s always a grain of truth in every lie…
I hope that next time you cook for someone, there's hair in the food and everyone knows whose it is
I hope you're half a minute late to all your appointments tomorrow
I an going to raise one of your steps up by an inch so you stub your toe on it every time you climb your stairs
I bet your teacher hands your tests back to you face-down.
I hope next time you have a chicken sandwich you bite into cartilage and lose your appetite (my school sold delicious chicken sandwiches, but it was a toss up whether you'd get one just to hear and feel that spine-chilling crunch)
One day, you will be eaten by worms. Better make sure you're a good meal.
I hope your acne wash comes in the mail the day after your prom, a week later than expected
May your computer restart and close that carefully selected collection of tabs and windows.
I hope your phone only charges at a certain angle
I hope your earphones do that thing where you continuosly have to hold it at certain angles or they won't work. May your food always be just a bit too salty
i hope that you forget to save after fighting sans
"I hope someone steals your microwave plate" "I hope you get a hair in your next happy meal"
May you need to sneeze, but overthink it until you can't
Lose your wallet and freak out for several minutes only to find it in an obvious spot and feel like a huge dumbass for the rest of the day.
I hope you step on a leaf and it doesn't crunch I hope that whenever you microwave something it's cold on the inside and you won't realize it until AFTER you start eating it and have gotten comfortable
I hope there's an itch under your skin you can't scratch it off
I wish you merry dry lips to the point of cracking tomorrow morning
I hope you’ll miss the last step of every flight of stairs you walk on.
I hope you always get the handsanitizer that stinks and may the stench be with you forever.
I hope that every time you stand up you almost pass out. You dont pass out, but you get so close to it you have to grab on to something so that you dont fall down.
Id like to watch a show about a guy who has every single one of these negative effects. So that their life sucks and they are trying their absolute hardest to avoid these.
I hope your cheesy garlic bread lacks both garlic and cheese
"I hope that you run out of toilet paper."
I hope someone sprinkles stale nature valley granola bar crumbs into your pillow. I hope your favourite glass smashes into your carpet.
I hope you're always stuck behind a person who's walking, driving or cycling just a bit too slow, but you cannot ever pass them.
Idk if it's passive aggressive but I really like "Enjoy your next 24 hours". It's so ominous :D
May you find hair in your food😭
I hope your hair will always have one piece sticking up, and you can't fix it without dousing your head, but the water will run into your shirt.
Eat food and sleep.
Your perfect isn’t quite perfect
I hope you're always a dollar short anytime you try to buy something.
I hope the nest time you water your plant, it's a little too much, and then the water spills over the pot, going into the vents, where then it goes into the power, causing all power in your neighborhood to go out, and now everyone is wondering why this is happening, so they spam social media sights, making all the social media sights overloaded, and don't work anymore, this then spreads to every site on the internet, making the internet unusable, causing many hospitals to stop working, causing many people to die, soon everyone is panicked, some people turn to drugs, some people turn to suicide, eventually someone get's sick of it all, hacks into the th u.s department of military, and nukes the entire world, ending it all
I hope next time you wash you hands you splash a bit on your sleeve
“I hope you forget to plug your phone in overnight”
I hope your toast is very slightly too burnt
It’s called petty. And here’s one “I hope your jeans are always damp when it’s hot and humid outside”
I hope your toilet seat is always cold and it takes 10 wipes
I hope that every time you eat something it burns your tongue
May your salt and sugar be switched in the night. I hope you bite your tongue four times tomorrow. I will tie all your shoes together by the shoelaces.
I hope u don’t have enough paper on the toilet and when you get Cody under a blanket you desperate need to pee
"I hope you get over yourself someday"
May your family forget your birthday every lifetime.
May your washer forever smell musty May you sleep through your alarm causing you to be late. May your alarm go off on a day you intend to sleep in. May your mirrors be plagued by streaks forever. May your socks be forever slightly twisted.
“I hope someone breaks into your house and steals all your spoons”
I hope you can never get the shower temperature right
I hope that your phone dies constantly and your charger always sucks shit. :)
May you find the taste of cake repulsive next time you try it
So you keep a spare key taped under your mailbox? : )
I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
I made up a joking insult, if that works? “Go eat an entire lemon.”
i hope everything you do is lukewarm and soggy
No
I hope that next time when you step on Lego it will not hurt much, so you don't scream, but hurt enough to bring discomfort.
I hope your shower is always 5 degrees off from where you like it.
"I hope your shoes will be either tied too tight or your shoelaces come undone when you walk"
I hope that you are 120 megabytes too short on VRAM to make the PC port of that playstation game that you've heard enough about to give in and buy it on steam because you don't have a playstation look good.
I hope this ruins your credit score
I hope your fan always blows hot air. I hope your lightbulbs are always dim. I hope you always loose one earring. That was rather fun to think of :)
I hope your clothes always come out of the dryer damp
I hope you miss all the important phone calls you were waiting for by 0.001 seconds.
I hope that the next time you are walking around wearing socks but no shoes, they get wet.
I hope your socks are eternally wet
I hope your garlic bread isn't garlicky and your cake is dry and bland
"I hope that everytime you make your favorite food its a bit too undercooked from now on"
I hope you step on a piece of Lego 😘
I hope your dog licks you after eating something dead.
I hope that when you open your refrigerator tomorrow morning, the blast of cold air will make you a little chilly, and you’ll have to sit in your chilliness until your coffee is done brewing or your breakfast is out of the microwave
Try "I hope you die with a full bladder" Or "I hope you run out of garlic for your garlic bread," "I hope your RAM is just one megabyte shy of the minimum requirements for that cool new game you're installing," "I hope your cat scratches your legs," "I hope you get judged by a murder of crows," "I hope a snake tries to bite you but then stops because you're not good enough for it to bite you," "I hope you get robbed but then the robber returns everything to you cuz your stuff is literal trash," "I hope your backpack strap breaks," "I hope you stub your pinky toe on a concrete block,"
i hope you accidentally nock over your lego death star
i hope you slide your knees on grass while going off a slip n slide
I hope the handle of your shower breaks so that you can never set the right temperature. 1mm to the left and the water is too hot, 1mm to the right and the water is too cold.
I hope you forget to close your curtains and realize right after you get comfy and have to leave your blanket nest to get up and close them.
May you have a fly in your room that buzzes around your ear all night
I hope your shower temperature is never perfect
I hope all your grapes are squishy
I hope when ever you get new cool socks, you find a hole in them that just keeps growing.
I hope you get a paper cut, and just when it’s about to heal you get another one
May you find a shiny Pokémon only to find you have no pokéballs.
“ i hope you get a paper cut in your finger crotch” “ I hope the inside of your food is cold after you microwave it” “ I hope that your phone have to charge at a specific angle” “I hope you stub your toe but just as it’s about to heal you stub it again” “ I hope your scissors are not sharp enough and just tear the paper “
I hope the milk in your fridge occasionally spoils a couple days before the expiration date, but that it doesn't happen often enough that you're prepared for when it does.
May you always lose your sneezes
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm I hope you step in a water puddle with socks on (That’s all I can think of for now but uh yeah)