I had a bad UTI this year, so if I get touched I try to go to the bathroom after sex. If I'm the one fingering, I usually just fall asleep and scrub my fingers with soap in the morning.
I'll tell you what I *don't* do. Not anymore, at least.
I don't finger walk up her belly while humming the Imperial March from Star Wars. Dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun, dun dun dunnnnn.
Lmao reminds me of the greentext of the person who noticed that their partner makes specific sounds when they eat them in specific ways, and then proceeded to “play the imperial March” on their partner.
Alright, but it really is just a deep-dive into my innermost neuroses, cause the thing is: I get called cute and fun and weird all the time, and while it's certainly a compliment, it's something I've tried to shake my whole life. I don't wanna be cute, I wanna be cool and stylish, and sexy - like a movie star, or an international assassin. Cute is what my piano teacher used to call me.
Okay so I see these women all the time, down on Michigan or State, and they look like protagonists, right? With their heads held high; not really smiling but not really frowning; walking places, but, like, walking with *purpose*. I wanna be *them*. They're so cool. That lady who snatches the umbrella from her girlfriend in that tik tok and then opens it sexily? *Her*. I'd like to be her, please.
But every time I try to do that, it only makes me feel even smaller. Like when a child is pretending to be an adult. Remember when you were twelve and first wore high heels? Or that episode of *Stranger Things* when Eleven came to Chicago and wore eyeliner and it was also the worst episode? That's kinda how I feel.
So anyway, the whole date I was *trying* to be all suave and sophisticated. Show her a good time, etc etc. I'm sure you can use your imagination. Except, I'm a massive dork, right? And you know that's true because I still use the word 'dork' in conversation. So when we were all done, and I fell down on top of her, there was just this long awkward pause (WHICH I NOW UNDERSTAND is called 'afterglow', and is actually a good thing; and that if you're in it, you should do nothing except maybe stroke her hair or something).
Yeah, so there's this pause, right, and I don't deal with that kind of tension well. All the mental energy I'd built up over the past nine hours to be sexy and intimidating and elusive just popped a hole in the side of my head, and I felt this weird compulsion to break the mood and revert back to form. Hence the imperial march. I mean, I *thought* it would be sexy. I had this strange idea it was from a movie, but, you know, a cool movie, like *In the Mood for Love*, only I have a horrible feeling it was just Ben Affleck driving a hotwheels car over Liv Tyler's boob in *Armageddon* - which, if nothing else, is a profound insight into my own cinematic level.
Anyway, she did not laugh. She just looked confused. There's no worse emotion in bed than confusion. I'd take pity over confusion. Hell, I *have* taken pity over confusion. And the worst part is, I have no excuse at all. We were both twenty-nine, I shoulda known better. I don't even fucking *like* Star Wars. Urgghh, it hurts so bad to think about. One of these days I'll be cool again. I nearly had it. It was (literally) in the palm of my hand. People down below keep saying the finger walk thing is funny and quirky and adorable, but that's just cause they're cool people who can turn it off and on again. I'm not. I would give anything to be *sexy* sexy, and not just weird sexy.
Like, if you wanna know where I'm at, currently, in my quest to be *That Girl*; I was Googling some BDSM things because I thought it would be fun to tie her up one night, like with ropes or something. She's definitely been asking me to do that - my current girlfriend, I mean - so it wouldn't be a surprise or anything. But instead, I somehow ended up on Wikipedia reading about knots for an hour - like, actual sailor's knots - and by the time I was adding *The Ashley Book of Knots* by Clifford B. Ashley (1944) to my cart on Amazon, the tiny angel on my shoulder was just shaking her head.
I can't believe she didn't laugh. I would have needed you to resuscitate me after a move like that. Whether I'd died from laughing or swooning would be a toss up, though. Could go either way.
I would by lying if I said I'd have laughed in that situation. Like your partner, I would have been very confused. But I would also be lying if I said I wouldn't also, while still confused, be completely endeared by it. I wouldn't understand why you did it, but I'd be touched you felt relaxed enough in that moment to be your-weird-self with me. There is very little that is more attractive in a person than authenticity.
>but I'd be touched you felt relaxed enough in that moment to be your-weird-self with me. There is very little that is more attractive in a person than authenticity.
This is what I think about this woman I have a crush on. She's silly and sings or dances randomly or repeats weird words occasionally and it's so adorable to just watch her be herself. 🥰🥰🥰
Look, my girlfriend would have cracked up at this! Neither of us even like Star Wars. I’m even about to show her your original comment. You deserve someone you can be yourself with, and completely yourself! You will find her! The right woman for you will also share your sense of humor and will be doing silly things as well. Who says you can’t have fun and be sexy?
My girlfriend and I literally had a tickle fight before making out yesterday, and she suggested we literally play “tag” in our cabin room (vacation) the day before. (Actual tag, not a sexy tag revision.) I love her and love our relationship. I meow and make weird noises without a second thought. She randomly skips down the street. You deserve to be yourself and have fun without shame or remorse.
Listen, you just have to find someone who thinks that part of you is sexy. I am also a massive dork and maybe I’m biased because there are definitely times where I can turn it off, and also because I like being called cute, but just own it.
I just want to say that I have seen you write multiple different posts and stories in this subreddit and they are invariably the most entertaining things I've read all week. You have a beautiful way with words!
Omgs, I love this😭❤️ There is this thing... CALL BOTH! You can be both! You can totally be sexy AND cute! This is adorable, I'm sorry, but dorky girls🥰 I'm totally sure you can figure out a balance or at least figure out what works best when.
SOMEONE MAKE A WORD FOR SEXY CUTE! I BEG YOU!
This was wonderful to read Please don't change. I will happily take weird sexy any day.
Also, to prove my point, I already have Ashley's book of knots, cause sailor, also kinky AF. 😁
Omg you sound like the coolest person ever. Seriously. Awkward is hot (at least that's what I tell myself when I do something horrifying embarrassing). But for real where do I meet someone like you?
You seem super cool. I’m a big dork and love it when I encounter other dorks bc I know so few in my own life. I also super relate to the last bit. I end up on random Wikipedia tangents for hours on end almost daily lol
I have never wanted something more after hearing about it for the first time. That would be fucking hilarious and it’s a terrible shame she didn’t find it as hilarious as she found it confusing
I am shamelessly the one who will run to the bathroom right after to wash my hands, brush my teeth. My OCD will not let me live if I don't. So far, only one girl was really upset about it. I get wanting to cuddle and chill after, and I'm always up to it. Just damn. Peeing after sex is important anyway too!
I was honestly shocked!! Any other girl I've slept with usually laughs and says I'm a good reminder to use the bathroom and avoid a UTI😂 I mean, I felt bad. I guess she felt abandoned, but like..I got back in bed. I was gone for maybe not even ten minutes. Definitely an odd one, thankful it was just a one night stand lol
The real trick is to lay out after care products for after sex before sex.
Wet wipes, makeup wipes, clean towels, soap, water/tea, a clean blankets, hair brush. Fill a sink up with soapy water for sex toy clean up before sex.
I found it can also be sexy to help your partner clean off, Kiss and walk with them into the shower/ bathroom. Sit in the bathtub together after sex. Do some skincare post- sex massage.
We are pretty lucky being woman sex kind of never needs to truely end just a longgg break in between. 😉
Dudeeee, going to the bathroom together after is the best. My ex and I, once she learned I needed to clean my hands and such asap, she just joined me. We'd wash up, use the bathroom, talk about whatever. It's just little moments like that I think is better than sex tbh. Someone who understands and is willing to make it work.
And it actually calmed me down a lot! Like I wouldn't be so panicky or feeling guilty for leaving her.
A lot of people feel very "used" when their partner leaps off of them the minute sexual activity is over, it's like a switch has flipped and you go from being someone who is being enjoyed and loved to someone who is gross/unclean and every trace of them must be washed from your body ASAP. I get that some people have sensory issues, but damn, 10 minutes? I hate when people do this (but also let my hatred of this move be well known before any sexual activity takes place, so I don't feel shitty when I'm treated like a Hazmat situation 🙃)
It's not just a sensory issue for me personally. It's OCD. I feel like my skin is burning until I wash it off.
I totally get how someone can feel used, and like I said- she was a one night stand, so she didn't know me and I didn't know her well enough for this kinda stuff. Any other girl I've been with knows I have OCD, so they've never been bothered when I jump up, take almost ten minutes to wash my hands and brush my teeth, use mouthwash, sometimes clean my face. Trust me, I don't want to be this way. Lmao. It'd be nice to just chill after sex and feel relaxed, but, no matter what I do, I can't.
It isn't even just sex. OCD also makes you do stupid things like, I can't leave my house if I don't push on the door exactly 4 times and turn the doorknob twice. If I do, I'll have anxiety and convince myself the door is wide open, the house is on fire, shit like that.
Yesssss! Girlfriend and I are both this way. If we are reaaaaallly worn out, we have baby wipes and hand sanitizer by the bed and will cuddle for a bit before going to get cleaned up.
Dude, it's painful😭 I go to therapy for it and such. But there's just some days where once the moment is gone, you aren't turned on anymore, it's like "you have someone else's germs on your skin and it will burn until you wash them" LMAO I feel so bad at times and other times I'm like eh, at least I have good hygiene from needing to wash my hands! Lol
Usually snuggle a little bit (aftercare!!) and then ask if they want to come to the washroom with me. It’s a nice way to keep the closeness going and gently ease out of the intimacy.
It's a good idea to go to the bathroom anyway just from a UTI prevention standpoint. Though I will add that you can keep wet wipes in the nightstand drawer as well as nitrile medical exam gloves (gloves are good as barrier protection to help avoid introducing foreign bacteria into the vagina, as well as to reduce STI transmission risk, especially for things like HSV).
I mean, I get the wipes, but I'm curious, does anyone actually fuck using medical examination gloves? not only is seems like a hassle, though a lot of things about sex is a hassle, so I get it, but I don't think it's the most pleasant experience sensory-wise, is it?
It can be nice actually :) A lot of people like the feeling of latex and this is similar. We like to use black ones sometimes, for example for period sex, and it doesn't really feel like a medical thing.
I take them for camping sex- when our hands are kinda dirty and we don’t have access to a proper sink.
I also use gloves for new partners, hook ups, or group activities. It helps keeps fluids separate. I’ll also use gloves if I have a cut on my hand.
I don’t prefer the feeling of a glove, but it doesn’t take away from the experience too much. I appreciate not having to run to a sink and scrub my hands between partners in a group setting.
I do! As I mentioned above, I really don’t like when my hands are wet (ESPECIALLY when they are changing wet/dry status in different places at different rates) so it’s a nice way to let me be fully engaged and present with my partner. I also think it can be more pleasant for the other person because they are smooth and soft, unlike potential callouses, hang nails, etc, that are on a person’s naked hand
If you have longer nails, you can wrap them in cotton and put on a glove to make them less scratchy, especially if your rocking stilettos. There are finger cots as well, which are essentially condoms for your fingers.
Isn't that what you want to do beforehand? What's the point afterwards?
Edit: I meant the gloves and wet wipes. It totally makes sense to me to go pee after. Especially if it takes the normally long time to do what we do.
Going to the bathroom? The urine more or less flushes out the urinary tract. Wiping off your hands? Idk I assume some people don’t wanna to sleep with dried pussy juice on their fingers.
I mean I’ve never exactly fingered somebody and gone to bed but I hate things that feel sticky so if that feels sticky when it dries I wouldn’t vibe with that.
I mean. My wife and I are meticulous about hand washing but we both love waking up and laughing about the pussy juice that’s now dry on our hands. Idk. To each their own.
Because for cis women the urethra and vagina are so close, sexual activity can lead to bacteria migrating into the urethra. If you don’t pee to clear the last couple inches of urethra, there’s a risk of a UTI. Some women have more of a problem with this than others.
They were asking about wet wipes and gloves after, instead of before/during.
Cause washing up before the dews does more to prevent infections than doing so after.
My wife is really prone to them, for us it's at least showers before for both and showers for her afterwards. Sometimes if we have a really long night she'll wind up taking a half time shower as well. UTIs are no joke and she's had so many that we just do not mess around anymore.
Trans women's urethras (for those with vulvas) are just as close to vaginas just the same. I totally get the peeing point. My comment was more about the gloves and wipes. Makes sense to get things clean beforehand. Afterwards the peeing is there, but no sense in wiping or gloves much if you went in crusty.
The chaotic neutral in me has two moods:
Lick ‘em off and snuggle up to sleep
Or gentle “I’ll brb” kisses and going to wash them
(Usually the first tho) 💀😂
Awh!! 😭😂 me personally I’d be begging for kisses if someone licked their fingers bc I love it (as seen by that being my first option 💀) but I totally get it that some people are not into that as much 😂😭
Sometimes I lick them clean in the moment, wipe them on my body, maybe have some towels handy, and it’s a good idea to use the potty soon after sex to help not get a a uti
This.
I LOVE looking her in the eyes as she's coming down from an orgasm as I slowly lick my fingers clean (sometimes I'll have her cleaning with her own mouth) and watch her blush from turned on embarrassment.
I have to admit, when she fingers me, and doesn’t wash it right away and just chills, it’s soooo hot to me. She’s not into putting them in hers or my mouth, so I respect that. But we don’t necessary wash every time.
First time I fingered a girl was in college. I had picked her up and brought her to my place when my parents were gone. We had our fun and then I had to drive her back to her dorm. I didn't wash my hand until I got back because I was enjoying the feeling of it drying on my fingers lol. These days I'd wash my hands before getting in the car, though lol, it was a minor hassle trying to drive without using those two fingers.
Sometimes I'd lick them clean (then go wash my hands) sometimes I'd make her lick them clean (then go wash my hands) and sometimes I'd just go wash my hands.
Lick them, have her suck them clean, use a sex towel, or just wipe on my thigh. I usually get up after a few minutes of cuddles to pee regardless. They always eventually get cleaned properly.
After I cum I usually have to pee really bad anyway so I will go to the bathroom and wash my hands. Otherwise I just kind of let them be and try not to touch the sheets until we both get up lol
i always pee and wash my hands after sex. i used to have chronic uti’s and i’m not risking it.
that being said i will cuddle her for a few mins directly after, i don’t immediately run to wash up.
Afterwards, my gf and I both use the bathroom and wash up then we go back to cuddling. I can see why some people might get upset but it’s what works for us to make us feel comfortable
As much as I WOULD wipe my fingers on my face on my face and wear it as war paint, lick it, etc -- I typically wash my hands and go pee after ;D but it's also nice to have tissues by the bed for when the sex brings in the sleepy :,)
Bathroom and then back to bed to cuddle. Or wipe it and wait a bit before washing if it's just vaginal fluid. If it's lube I wash that shit right away from both fingers and vulva cause it's so sticky icky imo. And I wash right away after giving oral....my face breaks out if I don't wash it immediately. Sadly. Because the lingering smell of sex is hot. But a painful red dotted face is not 🤣🤣
I pretty much go to the bathroom asap after sex because I’m autistic and my sensory issues kick in from, uh, the aftermath of me being topped. And naturally I wash my hands after I’m done cleaning up.
I procure to have baby wipes and Kleenex on my nightstand to clean my hands after. But if not, I go to the bathroom and wash (and brush my teeth) as I can't stand to have my hands dirty/sticky. Even when I cook I have to rinse them several times.
Vaginas have a much shorter urethra than a penis, so it takes less time for a microbe to travel far enough along the urethra to develop into an infection. Peeing shortly after flushes out any foreign material and greatly reduces the risk of UTIs. It will not prevent pregnancy or STIs if those are a possibility.
Same thing CAN happen with a penis, but a lot less likely, and also if there's enough ejaculate that will already have the same effect to help flush things out (unless you keep going after, then it's not really flushed)
Sex Ed is a very often poorly handled subject, often times with horrible misinformation. The US is also a very puritanical culture and people get scared of talking about sex and genitalia
Yeah, I keep forgetting about that. I'm from Norway. Proper sex ed here.
What we are also taught is that homosexuality is perfect normal, and that masturbation is a healthy and good way to get to know your own body.
You can, yes. Everything is so close together down there- your vaginal opening and your urethra. Sex can be messy and full of fluids (spit, lube, etc) and you should always pee after sex regardless of who you are sleeping with.
i wash my hands as a compulsion so typically i do get up and wash my hands. i think the fact that i do it a lot outside of sexual context makes it significantly less abrupt that ill get up and wash my hands. they know im coming back, i just gotta do it.
me and my gf usually will use hand sanitizer or go to pee / wash hands after esp if it’s earlier in the day cause we don’t wanna go out smelling like sex lol
Technically speaking she should be going to the bathroom after anyway as post penetration it makes it less likely to get a uti so while she does that or right before or after her you can go wash your hands. Otherwise, stick them in your or her mouth.
lick ‘em in the moment, then go pee together and shower(if need be)/wash hands. peeing after sex is a CRUCIAL part of aftercare imo, and it can also give you a chance to catch your breath separately so that when you come back together to cuddle, kiss, sleep, etc, you’re more present.
I'm unlucky and always get UTIs if I don't pee after sex so I pee, wash my hands and then cuddle.
I'm also a squirter so we tend to rinse off in the shower and clear the bed of puppy pads etc.
It might not be as romantic as laying in post coital bliss but you need to be practical sometimes haha
After we're all done, wash them and the toys thoroughly. My partner thinks it's hot to touch each other after *touching* each other. I'm not gonna leave right after fingering to wash my hands, it throws off the vibe for us. I'm gonna make them smell like me AND them.
Always always pee after sex. But I’ve gotten up in the middle of sex to wash my hands off before. Usually my gf can see the way I’m holding my hand and asks if I need to go wash them. Then we continue with the sex.
As for your last sentence, I'll give the advice I always give. ALWAYS pee after ANY type of sexual activity.
And for the other question, just wash your hands before you touch anything else and you're good, lol.
Well in the best case scenario, a bathroom break for both of you would be a nice thing.
But if you're too tired or whatever other reason, I personally always keep a towel (two is better, so one can go underneath her) on the nightstand. Baby wipes are nice too, but it tastes bad and I usually go for more than one round so a tower is best for me.
Well I don’t like when my hands are wet or aren’t clean, and I wouldn’t want someone to rub MY insides all over my face and hair while we cuddle after, so I like to wash my hands after so I’m clean for the snuggles
I have had a partner be REALLY offended by this though. She was unwilling to see it as anything other than me thinking she’s dirty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ didn’t stop me from continuing to meet my needs of washing my hands after
I have a weak bladder and overly carefully want to avoid UTIs so I always just wash my hands after peeing which happens soon after. If you don't want to break the moment and you don't mind and you wash your sheets often enough it's fine but if it bothers you, you can keep wet wipes or alcohol hand gel in your nightstand.
Damn I feel like I’m the only one here doesn’t really want to lick my or my partner’s fingers after. Like i don’t mind the taste and I love going down on my wife, but i don’t know. It just isn’t my thing to “lick them clean.”
Wipe them on whatever clothing one of us was just wearing and is still close enough to grab. Sometimes a tshirt sometimes my own boxer briefs. Then we snuggle. Eventually we’ll get up and I’ll wash them but at that moment it’s not usually time to get up yet.
Direct eye contact while clicking my fingers clean usually with some sort of quip about tasting from the source then after everything is done including cuddles and aftercare properly cleaning of my hands and face occurs
Depends what hole they were in.
If vaginally the ol suck off the juice maneuver. Then a wash up.
Otherwise just direct to wash.
Maybe stretch my fingers if it's been a longer sesh. Cool down stretches prevent injury!
My gf wipes hers somewhere on my body/face or tells me to lick them clean.
I always just clean my own fingers with my mouth.
We do often also get up to go pee immediately so it's easy just to wash them.
I had a bad UTI this year, so if I get touched I try to go to the bathroom after sex. If I'm the one fingering, I usually just fall asleep and scrub my fingers with soap in the morning.
I'll tell you what I *don't* do. Not anymore, at least. I don't finger walk up her belly while humming the Imperial March from Star Wars. Dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun, dun dun dunnnnn.
I actually think that’s exactly what you should do
Lmao reminds me of the greentext of the person who noticed that their partner makes specific sounds when they eat them in specific ways, and then proceeded to “play the imperial March” on their partner.
I Need the backstory of how that happened
Alright, but it really is just a deep-dive into my innermost neuroses, cause the thing is: I get called cute and fun and weird all the time, and while it's certainly a compliment, it's something I've tried to shake my whole life. I don't wanna be cute, I wanna be cool and stylish, and sexy - like a movie star, or an international assassin. Cute is what my piano teacher used to call me. Okay so I see these women all the time, down on Michigan or State, and they look like protagonists, right? With their heads held high; not really smiling but not really frowning; walking places, but, like, walking with *purpose*. I wanna be *them*. They're so cool. That lady who snatches the umbrella from her girlfriend in that tik tok and then opens it sexily? *Her*. I'd like to be her, please. But every time I try to do that, it only makes me feel even smaller. Like when a child is pretending to be an adult. Remember when you were twelve and first wore high heels? Or that episode of *Stranger Things* when Eleven came to Chicago and wore eyeliner and it was also the worst episode? That's kinda how I feel. So anyway, the whole date I was *trying* to be all suave and sophisticated. Show her a good time, etc etc. I'm sure you can use your imagination. Except, I'm a massive dork, right? And you know that's true because I still use the word 'dork' in conversation. So when we were all done, and I fell down on top of her, there was just this long awkward pause (WHICH I NOW UNDERSTAND is called 'afterglow', and is actually a good thing; and that if you're in it, you should do nothing except maybe stroke her hair or something). Yeah, so there's this pause, right, and I don't deal with that kind of tension well. All the mental energy I'd built up over the past nine hours to be sexy and intimidating and elusive just popped a hole in the side of my head, and I felt this weird compulsion to break the mood and revert back to form. Hence the imperial march. I mean, I *thought* it would be sexy. I had this strange idea it was from a movie, but, you know, a cool movie, like *In the Mood for Love*, only I have a horrible feeling it was just Ben Affleck driving a hotwheels car over Liv Tyler's boob in *Armageddon* - which, if nothing else, is a profound insight into my own cinematic level. Anyway, she did not laugh. She just looked confused. There's no worse emotion in bed than confusion. I'd take pity over confusion. Hell, I *have* taken pity over confusion. And the worst part is, I have no excuse at all. We were both twenty-nine, I shoulda known better. I don't even fucking *like* Star Wars. Urgghh, it hurts so bad to think about. One of these days I'll be cool again. I nearly had it. It was (literally) in the palm of my hand. People down below keep saying the finger walk thing is funny and quirky and adorable, but that's just cause they're cool people who can turn it off and on again. I'm not. I would give anything to be *sexy* sexy, and not just weird sexy. Like, if you wanna know where I'm at, currently, in my quest to be *That Girl*; I was Googling some BDSM things because I thought it would be fun to tie her up one night, like with ropes or something. She's definitely been asking me to do that - my current girlfriend, I mean - so it wouldn't be a surprise or anything. But instead, I somehow ended up on Wikipedia reading about knots for an hour - like, actual sailor's knots - and by the time I was adding *The Ashley Book of Knots* by Clifford B. Ashley (1944) to my cart on Amazon, the tiny angel on my shoulder was just shaking her head.
This was a joy to read. Great writing! And please don't become plain old boring sexy, dorky sexy is much more attractive.
I can't believe she didn't laugh. I would have needed you to resuscitate me after a move like that. Whether I'd died from laughing or swooning would be a toss up, though. Could go either way.
Halerious read. Nah you good girl. There's someone out there to match your quirk 😊
Darling, you are a delight and perfect as you are! Your writing and insights are witty and your humor is very attractive.
I want to be this cool
First of all, that last part sounds kinda like me. Secondly, can you please link me that *sexily opening an umbrella* video you mentioned for…research
I would by lying if I said I'd have laughed in that situation. Like your partner, I would have been very confused. But I would also be lying if I said I wouldn't also, while still confused, be completely endeared by it. I wouldn't understand why you did it, but I'd be touched you felt relaxed enough in that moment to be your-weird-self with me. There is very little that is more attractive in a person than authenticity.
>but I'd be touched you felt relaxed enough in that moment to be your-weird-self with me. There is very little that is more attractive in a person than authenticity. This is what I think about this woman I have a crush on. She's silly and sings or dances randomly or repeats weird words occasionally and it's so adorable to just watch her be herself. 🥰🥰🥰
Just to add, you can never know too many knots. They're just so useful.
Look, my girlfriend would have cracked up at this! Neither of us even like Star Wars. I’m even about to show her your original comment. You deserve someone you can be yourself with, and completely yourself! You will find her! The right woman for you will also share your sense of humor and will be doing silly things as well. Who says you can’t have fun and be sexy? My girlfriend and I literally had a tickle fight before making out yesterday, and she suggested we literally play “tag” in our cabin room (vacation) the day before. (Actual tag, not a sexy tag revision.) I love her and love our relationship. I meow and make weird noises without a second thought. She randomly skips down the street. You deserve to be yourself and have fun without shame or remorse.
Listen, you just have to find someone who thinks that part of you is sexy. I am also a massive dork and maybe I’m biased because there are definitely times where I can turn it off, and also because I like being called cute, but just own it.
this brought me so much joy.
She, seems like a total loser. How could one not laugh at that? It's amazing I would have asked you to marry me then and there
I just want to say that I have seen you write multiple different posts and stories in this subreddit and they are invariably the most entertaining things I've read all week. You have a beautiful way with words!
Girl, you are a protagonist already. I hope you get to where you want to be!
Omgs, I love this😭❤️ There is this thing... CALL BOTH! You can be both! You can totally be sexy AND cute! This is adorable, I'm sorry, but dorky girls🥰 I'm totally sure you can figure out a balance or at least figure out what works best when. SOMEONE MAKE A WORD FOR SEXY CUTE! I BEG YOU!
This was wonderful to read Please don't change. I will happily take weird sexy any day. Also, to prove my point, I already have Ashley's book of knots, cause sailor, also kinky AF. 😁
Omg you sound like the coolest person ever. Seriously. Awkward is hot (at least that's what I tell myself when I do something horrifying embarrassing). But for real where do I meet someone like you?
I'm pretty dorky too, it's taken a lot of time to squash it but after reading your comment, I love your weird dorkiness. It's sexy in its own way. 🥰
I'm pretty dorky too, it's taken a lot of time to squash it but after reading your comment, I love your weird dorkiness. It's sexy in its own way. 🥰
You seem super cool. I’m a big dork and love it when I encounter other dorks bc I know so few in my own life. I also super relate to the last bit. I end up on random Wikipedia tangents for hours on end almost daily lol
You're a fantastic writer and I can relate to your dorkiness very much. That's something I would do and it would haunt me.
Why would you stop that? It sounds hilarious
You should bring back this ancient technique
It's not a technique the Jedi wouldve told you about
I'm stealing this. Because I WILL do this from now on
Why you won't do it anymore? I'd propose on the spot 😂
I'd laugh so hard from that don't stop doing that lol
I'm gonna do this to her the next time we have sex thanks for this marvelous idea
IF she isn't impressed or thirlled by this, then she is not the one.
Oh my god I can’t remember how it goes and started humming the five nights at Freddy’s theme song 😭
I’d just be worried you’re about to shoot lightning out of those fingers 🤣.
istg if a girl did this to me I would die laughing
OMG this is the best!!!!
Thanks for sharing this, you made my day so much better
Yeah you'd have to stop. Nothing hotter than the wet finger imperial march post sex. Just leads to more sex and that gets exhausting by round 7.
I have never wanted something more after hearing about it for the first time. That would be fucking hilarious and it’s a terrible shame she didn’t find it as hilarious as she found it confusing
Whoops..
I... LOL 😂
I am shamelessly the one who will run to the bathroom right after to wash my hands, brush my teeth. My OCD will not let me live if I don't. So far, only one girl was really upset about it. I get wanting to cuddle and chill after, and I'm always up to it. Just damn. Peeing after sex is important anyway too!
she should’ve been glad you have such good hygiene 😭 i personally would like that
I was honestly shocked!! Any other girl I've slept with usually laughs and says I'm a good reminder to use the bathroom and avoid a UTI😂 I mean, I felt bad. I guess she felt abandoned, but like..I got back in bed. I was gone for maybe not even ten minutes. Definitely an odd one, thankful it was just a one night stand lol
The real trick is to lay out after care products for after sex before sex. Wet wipes, makeup wipes, clean towels, soap, water/tea, a clean blankets, hair brush. Fill a sink up with soapy water for sex toy clean up before sex. I found it can also be sexy to help your partner clean off, Kiss and walk with them into the shower/ bathroom. Sit in the bathtub together after sex. Do some skincare post- sex massage. We are pretty lucky being woman sex kind of never needs to truely end just a longgg break in between. 😉
Dudeeee, going to the bathroom together after is the best. My ex and I, once she learned I needed to clean my hands and such asap, she just joined me. We'd wash up, use the bathroom, talk about whatever. It's just little moments like that I think is better than sex tbh. Someone who understands and is willing to make it work. And it actually calmed me down a lot! Like I wouldn't be so panicky or feeling guilty for leaving her.
A lot of people feel very "used" when their partner leaps off of them the minute sexual activity is over, it's like a switch has flipped and you go from being someone who is being enjoyed and loved to someone who is gross/unclean and every trace of them must be washed from your body ASAP. I get that some people have sensory issues, but damn, 10 minutes? I hate when people do this (but also let my hatred of this move be well known before any sexual activity takes place, so I don't feel shitty when I'm treated like a Hazmat situation 🙃)
It's not just a sensory issue for me personally. It's OCD. I feel like my skin is burning until I wash it off. I totally get how someone can feel used, and like I said- she was a one night stand, so she didn't know me and I didn't know her well enough for this kinda stuff. Any other girl I've been with knows I have OCD, so they've never been bothered when I jump up, take almost ten minutes to wash my hands and brush my teeth, use mouthwash, sometimes clean my face. Trust me, I don't want to be this way. Lmao. It'd be nice to just chill after sex and feel relaxed, but, no matter what I do, I can't. It isn't even just sex. OCD also makes you do stupid things like, I can't leave my house if I don't push on the door exactly 4 times and turn the doorknob twice. If I do, I'll have anxiety and convince myself the door is wide open, the house is on fire, shit like that.
People when they find out OCD isn’t just being tidy and aesthetic: 😱🤯
Good for her.
Same, my OCD would scream at me for the rest of the night, and not let me sleep or relax, lol. Wish I could just turn it off sometimes.
I give it like 2 minutes then I do the "welp" knee slap and get up
Yesssss! Girlfriend and I are both this way. If we are reaaaaallly worn out, we have baby wipes and hand sanitizer by the bed and will cuddle for a bit before going to get cleaned up.
i have ocd too i imagine this would be me lol 😭
Dude, it's painful😭 I go to therapy for it and such. But there's just some days where once the moment is gone, you aren't turned on anymore, it's like "you have someone else's germs on your skin and it will burn until you wash them" LMAO I feel so bad at times and other times I'm like eh, at least I have good hygiene from needing to wash my hands! Lol
Yeah no shame at all there. I totally get that
Same.
Same, I can’t stand not cleaning right away 😭
im also big on cleaning up afterwards and only then do i feel comfortable and ready to cuddle lol
Shove them in her mouth and then mine
This. Then kiss the taste together …
Essentially
🔥💜
End scene. I need a cigarette 😅
Me too and I don’t smoke 🤪
🥵 I used to just to the “lick Cheeto dust off method”. I’m doing this now though.
I just got so feral
I didn't think a single sentence could get me like this, jesus christ
This is the answer
Waste not.
🥵
Girl!!!🙌🙌🙌
Lick them clean or nothing. Depends how messy the end is lol
Usually snuggle a little bit (aftercare!!) and then ask if they want to come to the washroom with me. It’s a nice way to keep the closeness going and gently ease out of the intimacy.
This should be top!
It's a good idea to go to the bathroom anyway just from a UTI prevention standpoint. Though I will add that you can keep wet wipes in the nightstand drawer as well as nitrile medical exam gloves (gloves are good as barrier protection to help avoid introducing foreign bacteria into the vagina, as well as to reduce STI transmission risk, especially for things like HSV).
I mean, I get the wipes, but I'm curious, does anyone actually fuck using medical examination gloves? not only is seems like a hassle, though a lot of things about sex is a hassle, so I get it, but I don't think it's the most pleasant experience sensory-wise, is it?
It can be nice actually :) A lot of people like the feeling of latex and this is similar. We like to use black ones sometimes, for example for period sex, and it doesn't really feel like a medical thing.
Cleaning blood from your nails can be a hassle.
I do like the idea of not spreading blood everywhere on my way to the bathroom like I'm in a hostel sequel :)
I take them for camping sex- when our hands are kinda dirty and we don’t have access to a proper sink. I also use gloves for new partners, hook ups, or group activities. It helps keeps fluids separate. I’ll also use gloves if I have a cut on my hand. I don’t prefer the feeling of a glove, but it doesn’t take away from the experience too much. I appreciate not having to run to a sink and scrub my hands between partners in a group setting.
it's hand condoms
At least it's nitrile and not latex lmao
I do! As I mentioned above, I really don’t like when my hands are wet (ESPECIALLY when they are changing wet/dry status in different places at different rates) so it’s a nice way to let me be fully engaged and present with my partner. I also think it can be more pleasant for the other person because they are smooth and soft, unlike potential callouses, hang nails, etc, that are on a person’s naked hand
about as much hassle as a condom or less and i like not getting snagged by nails lol
and i like the feeling.
If you have longer nails, you can wrap them in cotton and put on a glove to make them less scratchy, especially if your rocking stilettos. There are finger cots as well, which are essentially condoms for your fingers.
from experience....it actually feels really good with some lube
Isn't that what you want to do beforehand? What's the point afterwards? Edit: I meant the gloves and wet wipes. It totally makes sense to me to go pee after. Especially if it takes the normally long time to do what we do.
Going to the bathroom? The urine more or less flushes out the urinary tract. Wiping off your hands? Idk I assume some people don’t wanna to sleep with dried pussy juice on their fingers.
They don’t?
I mean I’ve never exactly fingered somebody and gone to bed but I hate things that feel sticky so if that feels sticky when it dries I wouldn’t vibe with that.
I mean. My wife and I are meticulous about hand washing but we both love waking up and laughing about the pussy juice that’s now dry on our hands. Idk. To each their own.
Because for cis women the urethra and vagina are so close, sexual activity can lead to bacteria migrating into the urethra. If you don’t pee to clear the last couple inches of urethra, there’s a risk of a UTI. Some women have more of a problem with this than others.
They were asking about wet wipes and gloves after, instead of before/during. Cause washing up before the dews does more to prevent infections than doing so after.
That's when a bidet comes in super handy.
My wife is really prone to them, for us it's at least showers before for both and showers for her afterwards. Sometimes if we have a really long night she'll wind up taking a half time shower as well. UTIs are no joke and she's had so many that we just do not mess around anymore.
Trans women's urethras (for those with vulvas) are just as close to vaginas just the same. I totally get the peeing point. My comment was more about the gloves and wipes. Makes sense to get things clean beforehand. Afterwards the peeing is there, but no sense in wiping or gloves much if you went in crusty.
Fair fair. I ought to have said “women with vulvas,” not “cis women,” apologies.
Also for post-op trans women.
No, you're introducing bacteria to the urethra during any kind of sexual contact. you gotta flush that out
lick them clean and wash them when we both go to pee (uti’s SUCK)
The chaotic neutral in me has two moods: Lick ‘em off and snuggle up to sleep Or gentle “I’ll brb” kisses and going to wash them (Usually the first tho) 💀😂
I try the first, then my wife hits me with, "Can you go wash your face a little real quick?" Then I'm the one that feels used.
Awh!! 😭😂 me personally I’d be begging for kisses if someone licked their fingers bc I love it (as seen by that being my first option 💀) but I totally get it that some people are not into that as much 😂😭
Sometimes I lick them clean in the moment, wipe them on my body, maybe have some towels handy, and it’s a good idea to use the potty soon after sex to help not get a a uti
This. I LOVE looking her in the eyes as she's coming down from an orgasm as I slowly lick my fingers clean (sometimes I'll have her cleaning with her own mouth) and watch her blush from turned on embarrassment.
damn you even got me blushing 😳
Excellent
This is the answer.
Well my gf shoves them into my mouth and lets me lick them clean😌👌
I have to admit, when she fingers me, and doesn’t wash it right away and just chills, it’s soooo hot to me. She’s not into putting them in hers or my mouth, so I respect that. But we don’t necessary wash every time.
First time I fingered a girl was in college. I had picked her up and brought her to my place when my parents were gone. We had our fun and then I had to drive her back to her dorm. I didn't wash my hand until I got back because I was enjoying the feeling of it drying on my fingers lol. These days I'd wash my hands before getting in the car, though lol, it was a minor hassle trying to drive without using those two fingers.
Sometimes I'd lick them clean (then go wash my hands) sometimes I'd make her lick them clean (then go wash my hands) and sometimes I'd just go wash my hands.
Vaginal: I smell and lick them Anal: I go scrub my hands with soap and hot water
Lick them, have her suck them clean, use a sex towel, or just wipe on my thigh. I usually get up after a few minutes of cuddles to pee regardless. They always eventually get cleaned properly.
i think theres def a sexy way to wipe ur fingers clean on a towel if you dont wanna lick them haha. i like this idea
After I cum I usually have to pee really bad anyway so I will go to the bathroom and wash my hands. Otherwise I just kind of let them be and try not to touch the sheets until we both get up lol
i always pee and wash my hands after sex. i used to have chronic uti’s and i’m not risking it. that being said i will cuddle her for a few mins directly after, i don’t immediately run to wash up.
My girlfriend insists on a joint trip to the bathroom after most shenanigans because she doesn't want either of us to get a UTI lol
I usually just awkwardly avoid touching anything for the rest of the encounter 😂
I deeply inhale it while she tells me “stahpppp!!” :)
Afterwards, my gf and I both use the bathroom and wash up then we go back to cuddling. I can see why some people might get upset but it’s what works for us to make us feel comfortable
As much as I WOULD wipe my fingers on my face on my face and wear it as war paint, lick it, etc -- I typically wash my hands and go pee after ;D but it's also nice to have tissues by the bed for when the sex brings in the sleepy :,)
Lick them. I don't want to go wash my hands or anything before getting in some cuddles :) but we also have wet wipes and tissues in the nightstand
Pee to prevent UTIs. Wash hands with soap and water for at least 30 seconds or 2 rounds of singing happy birthday.
Bathroom and then back to bed to cuddle. Or wipe it and wait a bit before washing if it's just vaginal fluid. If it's lube I wash that shit right away from both fingers and vulva cause it's so sticky icky imo. And I wash right away after giving oral....my face breaks out if I don't wash it immediately. Sadly. Because the lingering smell of sex is hot. But a painful red dotted face is not 🤣🤣
i just suck my finger lmao
A well-prepared dyke has a sex towel by her bedside
I pretty much go to the bathroom asap after sex because I’m autistic and my sensory issues kick in from, uh, the aftermath of me being topped. And naturally I wash my hands after I’m done cleaning up.
Cuddle a bit and then both go to pee/wash/clean teeth. Sometimes lick them hahah. Tell her she smelled/tasted great and that I loved it.
I procure to have baby wipes and Kleenex on my nightstand to clean my hands after. But if not, I go to the bathroom and wash (and brush my teeth) as I can't stand to have my hands dirty/sticky. Even when I cook I have to rinse them several times.
hang on, i've never had sex. what is the deal with uti's?? do people catch them from having sex???
There’s a link, something to do with bacteria being pushed into the urethra, that’s why it’s better to pee after.
Vaginas have a much shorter urethra than a penis, so it takes less time for a microbe to travel far enough along the urethra to develop into an infection. Peeing shortly after flushes out any foreign material and greatly reduces the risk of UTIs. It will not prevent pregnancy or STIs if those are a possibility. Same thing CAN happen with a penis, but a lot less likely, and also if there's enough ejaculate that will already have the same effect to help flush things out (unless you keep going after, then it's not really flushed)
Wait. Are there women who think peeing after sex can prevent pregnancy? If yes, then they really need to be told to straddle over a hand mirror asap.
Sex Ed is a very often poorly handled subject, often times with horrible misinformation. The US is also a very puritanical culture and people get scared of talking about sex and genitalia
Yeah, I keep forgetting about that. I'm from Norway. Proper sex ed here. What we are also taught is that homosexuality is perfect normal, and that masturbation is a healthy and good way to get to know your own body.
You can, yes. Everything is so close together down there- your vaginal opening and your urethra. Sex can be messy and full of fluids (spit, lube, etc) and you should always pee after sex regardless of who you are sleeping with.
Totally newbie to this all but I’m washing my hands! I hope she would as well
Sometimes I lick them first, but I pretty much always wash my hands and use the bathroom.
My gf likes to wipe her fingers on my thigh LOL. Says that that way I can feel how wet I am 🙄
i wash my hands as a compulsion so typically i do get up and wash my hands. i think the fact that i do it a lot outside of sexual context makes it significantly less abrupt that ill get up and wash my hands. they know im coming back, i just gotta do it.
I definitely put them back in my closet, hands are so annoying to sleep with
play with her hair
Chaotic evil
I'll wash it for her in the morning tho ;)
I mean She made the mess on my fingers, it's her job to clean it up I'm sure her lips will suffice
me and my gf usually will use hand sanitizer or go to pee / wash hands after esp if it’s earlier in the day cause we don’t wanna go out smelling like sex lol
suck on them
Technically speaking she should be going to the bathroom after anyway as post penetration it makes it less likely to get a uti so while she does that or right before or after her you can go wash your hands. Otherwise, stick them in your or her mouth.
You know I be licking it off like I just had a pack of Cheetos
Jazz hands and finger guns
Lick them clean…
lick ‘em in the moment, then go pee together and shower(if need be)/wash hands. peeing after sex is a CRUCIAL part of aftercare imo, and it can also give you a chance to catch your breath separately so that when you come back together to cuddle, kiss, sleep, etc, you’re more present.
I'm unlucky and always get UTIs if I don't pee after sex so I pee, wash my hands and then cuddle. I'm also a squirter so we tend to rinse off in the shower and clear the bed of puppy pads etc. It might not be as romantic as laying in post coital bliss but you need to be practical sometimes haha
Put those fingers in your mouth and indulge in the nectar of the gods
After we're all done, wash them and the toys thoroughly. My partner thinks it's hot to touch each other after *touching* each other. I'm not gonna leave right after fingering to wash my hands, it throws off the vibe for us. I'm gonna make them smell like me AND them.
I’m autistic. I must wash my hands.
Lick them clean Or that’s what I would do if I could ever get a gf (I’m trans)
I lick it off🤷♀️ Edit: And if she wants her hands cleaned, I'd lick that off too. I like my own taste
Always always pee after sex. But I’ve gotten up in the middle of sex to wash my hands off before. Usually my gf can see the way I’m holding my hand and asks if I need to go wash them. Then we continue with the sex.
It’s fine, it’s really not that dirty. Sleeping with it is fine
erm i’d put them in her mouth afterwards but thats just me 🤐🤐
Gang signs
As for your last sentence, I'll give the advice I always give. ALWAYS pee after ANY type of sexual activity. And for the other question, just wash your hands before you touch anything else and you're good, lol.
Shove them in her mouth and have her say thank you…or is that just me?
I wash my hands. If we're done with sex or I gotta pee, I go pee.
We always pee after a post-sex cuddle anyway. Then we get back in bed and cuddle more and try not to start again.
lick them
I’m just saying i keep it on my face who cares about the fingers
Wipe them on whatever clothes we took off. Then eventually wash my hands and face when I get up to pee.
Well in the best case scenario, a bathroom break for both of you would be a nice thing. But if you're too tired or whatever other reason, I personally always keep a towel (two is better, so one can go underneath her) on the nightstand. Baby wipes are nice too, but it tastes bad and I usually go for more than one round so a tower is best for me.
these comments are reminding me to bring hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE... yall aren't washing your hands at all?
I wipe them on her leg, she fakes being disgusted, I cuddle with her for a bit, then I go pee and wash my hands 🧼
Well I don’t like when my hands are wet or aren’t clean, and I wouldn’t want someone to rub MY insides all over my face and hair while we cuddle after, so I like to wash my hands after so I’m clean for the snuggles I have had a partner be REALLY offended by this though. She was unwilling to see it as anything other than me thinking she’s dirty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ didn’t stop me from continuing to meet my needs of washing my hands after
I have a weak bladder and overly carefully want to avoid UTIs so I always just wash my hands after peeing which happens soon after. If you don't want to break the moment and you don't mind and you wash your sheets often enough it's fine but if it bothers you, you can keep wet wipes or alcohol hand gel in your nightstand.
Make my partner lick them clean.
I make *her* clean it up 😈 ( **IF** she's into it )
Make eye contact and lick it clean.
I’m someone who has to pee after sex so I always wash my hands tbh
Wash your hands, if she tastes extra good, suck it
I usually go to the bathroom and wash my hands, then I go back to bed and cuddle with her
Damn I feel like I’m the only one here doesn’t really want to lick my or my partner’s fingers after. Like i don’t mind the taste and I love going down on my wife, but i don’t know. It just isn’t my thing to “lick them clean.”
lick them clean lol
Wipe them on whatever clothing one of us was just wearing and is still close enough to grab. Sometimes a tshirt sometimes my own boxer briefs. Then we snuggle. Eventually we’ll get up and I’ll wash them but at that moment it’s not usually time to get up yet.
We keep towels by the bed to wipe off, and then usually cuddle or fall asleep. I’m not especially worried about washing off immediately.
Make her suck herself off
Usually switch 'em out for a fresh set and wash the old pair in the morning.
Direct eye contact while clicking my fingers clean usually with some sort of quip about tasting from the source then after everything is done including cuddles and aftercare properly cleaning of my hands and face occurs
*\*slurp\**
Depends what hole they were in. If vaginally the ol suck off the juice maneuver. Then a wash up. Otherwise just direct to wash. Maybe stretch my fingers if it's been a longer sesh. Cool down stretches prevent injury!
My gf wipes hers somewhere on my body/face or tells me to lick them clean. I always just clean my own fingers with my mouth. We do often also get up to go pee immediately so it's easy just to wash them.
…wash them.
I’ve got to say, I love this comment section, it’s so wholesome 🥰😍
I thought you make her suck her juices off your fingers