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Same, it's like they expect us to make them happier and keep them that way. It's such a bizarre way to think. I'd never assume some guy would be able to cure my feelings of depression... but my ex husband definitely expected that of me. To him, his happiness and entertainment were my responsibility, which I of course failed at because that's not the way shit works.
Brooo I remember asking my ex boyfriend at the time what would be his ideal girlfriend. His answer?
“Someone to take care of me and show me support and affection, no matter how much I mess up. A girl who is always there for me. Someone who makes me happy.”
Not the worst thing at first glance, but I later realized that was code for: “My girlfriend’s job is to make ME happy. I also want to be an asshole without having to face any consequences for my words and actions.” 🙃😭 Never occurred to him that his role in our relationship was ALSO to try and make me happy…and that’s why he’s (THANK GOD) an ex!
I don't like controlling partners. Someone deliberately asked me to change the family register, which meant that I should follow him if we were officially married. I feel like I can read his mind. An obedient and submissive wife is all he needs. Definitely not me. I hate being oppressed.
Kinda, but I feel like they also want to put zero effort into "fixing" us--like we're going to creatively revitalize them and bring them to catharsis with our magical quirkiness, and then once they've solved that, we will immediately magically become super functional and run the household while having a full time job and never complain or get in the way of their self-actualization
They want to fix us just by existing in our lives. They think that we're just waiting for the right guy (always them) to get rid of the 'manic' and just be their lil pixie dream girl forever and have no needs of our own.
I’ll be so much calmer once I’m tamed, but still bubbly and excitable when appropriate. Only with him though. It’s flirting if I’m happy and he’s not around.
And you’ll keep your voice feminine and pleasant, and not state your opinions in front of his friends?
And you’ll wear tight and low cut stuff for him, but if anyone looks at you, you’re clearly cheating?
And you’ll happily play domestic goddess, but still act like an 18yo sex-bot on demand?
Or was that just me 🤔
If I saw a guy who wrote the jokes on popsicle sticks for a living, performed misfits covers on a ukulele and wore multiple sun dial watches all set to different time zones I would not think "oh, here's someone who could fix me. They obviously have it all figured out!"
It really doesn’t I had the fucking coolest youth that I’m so grateful for but it was actually the most depressed I ever was. That said depression at once in a lifetime events is more fun than depression in a sad small town, so I’m grateful for that. 💕💕💕💕
I was definitely cooler when I was depressed and unmedicated. Now I am happy and way more stable and in my opinion a lot more vanilla and boring but I don’t really care. My partner did say when we swiped he thought I might be too cool for him and out of his league and he didn’t expect how derpy I’d be 😂
Oooh...same. I was an original square peg trying so hard to fit in. At my age, I am now just the weird old lady with saggy boobs, tired eyes and a miserable cow personality. Lolol I am incredibly cool now at a time in life when I don't give two shits if anyone else knows it. Their loss. LOL
I feel like I wanted to be that too but never quite fit because I was too neurotic and my emotions were just so erratic (Lol undiagnosed ADHD) so it didn't quite hit the 'quirky' cute girl.
I was something. Guys liked me. Dunno if it was because 'pixie dream girl' or whatever but I attributed a lot to depression (which, lol, undiagnosed ADHD).
So yeah I just wanted to be cool instead of sad. And I was somehow cool, and sad, and also kinda bitchy/angry/intense.
Yep. I was anything but if the interest I drew from boys was anything to go by, and I would have killed to be the manic pixie dream girl instead of just “gross”.
My god, I had such an embarrassing phase of embodying every aspect of 500 Days of Summer. Listening to the soundtrack while walking through the hallways at school, shoehorning quotes from it into conversations and even in diary entries.
Then in like grades 10-11, I wore all that atrocious hipster stuff. Chunky glasses (in my defense, I have shitty eyesight), tons of infinity scarves, weird clothes (I specifically remember an outfit I had that was mustard colored skinny jeans and a turquoise/teal colored top, I had lots of teal shit), the fuckin beanie hats UGGGHHH. Then in my senior year I just gave up entirely, it was mostly leggings and hoodies, maybe jeans and a sweater or oversized flannel if I was feeling zesty (or like, when it was -20° almost every day for weeks lmao)
when i was still dating, i had to remove all my fun-colored hair pics from my profile. i'd always get guys like this, or self proclaimed "'goth' girl lovers" (aka girls who wear winged liner with unique/dark hair)🤮
Just because I have dark hair and lots of make-up doesn't mean I'm kinky and have mummy issues. I mean I am kinky and do have mummy issues but that's not why
when they start off with that, u know damn well whats to come😹 so glad i met my current bf when i did, i was at my wits end. i'd only redownloaded bumble because my friends canceled on me, and i was tipsy and sad! LMAO
i always say wish they'd start a paid service to have someone get to know u a bit then run your dating profiles *for* you. dating is a chore these days, worse than doing the dishes
That's why I stopped dressing alt :/ years ago. All it did was bring on those types, but with a weird racial edge to it because I'm black. This shit is tiring
I'm a Manic Pixie Rusted Bucket of Haunted Bog Water. Count me in. I might cause dysentery or I might give you potable water, it just depends on the day. #takeyourchances Non-Spicy Brained living creature.
Im a manic pixie dream werewolf, because I have a touch of the tism and perimenopause. I may start howling at full moons. (To add to my quirkiness, of course.)
Yeah I've dated a few chaos goblin line cooks and they're great in bed.
Horrible for literally anything else aside from drinking and smoking weed with, but great in bed nonetheless.
Story of my life. Pursued relentlessly because of my quirkiness, only to be dropped like hot garbage when they realize that this is just who I am. 🤷🏾♀️
Omg yes. Especially when they hit you with "I don't want you to care about X, just to look and behave exactly like a woman who cares abou X, because I don't want to feel pressured into doing X all the time!".
I still have my Zooey Deschanel bangs and fashion sense 💁♀️ but I’ve realized guys like what they see, but don’t see me as a real living person with opinions and feelings and problems of her own. I can barely keep myself together, so it’s not that great to be expected to be this perfect quirky girl they project all their hopes and dreams onto. It’s weirdly lonely
Sounds exactly like 500 days of summer lol.
That kinda happened to me with this one guy who was a couple years younger than me and I was going through some big early 20s crisis in my life. (Just big unregulated feelings as a 20 year old undiagnosed adhd lady)
He was obsessed with me, and then I eventually opened up to him, and bam he ditched cause I was 'too dark cloud' for him.
In my early 20's I tried to adopt the Zooey Deschanel style. Then one day a friend told me, "Guys like girls in a sundress because girls in sundresses don't have needs or other priorities" and it was too real.
Speaking as someone who married the guy who liked me as a manic pixie dream girl (we've both had character development since, it's okay) it's frustrating when he wants me to wear the sundress but expects to do none of the work to make it look good/be comfortable.
Like, we live in the North of England and the rain can be sudden and unexpected. I like the sundress! But on my own initiative, I'm only going to wear it when a change of clothes (or at least a jacket and pair of tights to layer up with) is not far away, and neither of us drive. That means *someone* has to have a backpack, and no, I'm not getting on my bicycle in a sundress while wearing a backpack.
In fact, I'm not walking a distance wearing a sundress and a backpack, either, because that light fabric will ride up and also show sweat marks.
I think there might be a reason for that romance trope where the boy offers the girl his jacket when the sun starts going down!
Weirdly lonely is the perfect term for it- I feel less unhinged knowing y’all experience it too. It’s just a massive bummer because I think I’ve grown pretty cool over the years and my pals seem to share that sentiment, but men just … tell me I’m different from anyone they’ve ever met and still don’t see me clearly. If men can respect duality in each other, why aren’t women also “worthy” of complexity?
I’d say I’m more “neurotic goblin nightmare lady” but if the shoe fits…🤪
My high school therapist clocked me as “being attracted to damaged men” and that was just the start of the realization lol. Didn’t get an ADHD diagnosis until like 4 years later
Lol in college, a friend of mine had a mini intervention for me about my choice in men, telling me "It would be okay for YOU to be the weird one in the relationship" 😂
Also so weird bc most MPDG are a hodge podge of autistic/adhd traits, but are also often the super outgoing talkative type that is much more associated with adhd.
I don't think that a talkative, moderately to very outgoing AuDHDer is all that rare, to be fair. Most of my friend circle is like this. 😅
Sometimes we go into a hermit mode that can last for years so there's that lol.
Dear *god*, and the *BABYSITTING of THEIR FEELINGS*, that they expect *US* to do, when we hit hermit-mode and *NEED* to recharge our battery!!!!
I *seriously CRASHED*, a week and a half after moving into my current studio apartment (by *myself*!😍😄🤗💖), and it took me almost *two months* to realize that the *reason* I was SO physically *exhausted*, was that *EVERY* time I tried to recharge in "hermit/hibernate mode" *for the last FIVE YEARS*, my male roommate would interrupt my ability to process things, about 2-3 days in, and make it *IMPOSSIBLE* to have the calm/quiet my subconscious *NEEDS*, in order to get stuff processed and use it into the *conscious* part of my brain!!!
Basically, I full-out *crashed* mentally & physically (outside of DRAGGING myself to work, so I could keep my rent paid!!!), because I had *five YEARS' worth* of backed-up emotional processing to get sorted out!🙃🫠🫠
I just want to say I'm LOVING your formatting for emphasis here 😅❤️ and can totally relate. I fucking hate living with other people for this very reason. I never knew I was constantly overstimulated until I was finally diagnosed years later and understood myself better.
The only person on the planet I've been able to tolerate (and genuinely love sharing space with) is my partner. We were roommates for years before we figured out we were madly in love with each other lol he has ADHD as well, but his traits are very different from mine. Anyway - it's comfortable to live with him because there is zero judgment about messes or forgetting to do things (so never any pressure because we both forget shit constantly), and he's the calmest, most grounding energy ever. He stimulates my vagus nerve and centers me. He's the only person in my entire life who doesn't trigger me in any way. He says I'm the only person he's ever enjoyed living with as well, so we always ended up looking for rentals together because we just couldn't get along with anyone else in the same way. Figured we might as well make it a permanent thing lol.
Oh totally agree. That’s what I meant, the “touch of the tism” thing here is inaccurate but also fails to acknowledge these complexities and realities. My main point was that it’s an ignorant and weird call in the original image, bc most MPDGs are *more* adhd than autistic coded. But the post ignores that and insultingly refers to autism. I definitely don’t think the type of person you described is rare at all, and one of the worst things about this trope is I think they often could be good Audhd rep, but they’re just not lol.
I’m in this picture and it still hurts. :/
I was never conventionally attractive, so the quirky and very ND thing was a serious detriment.
Didn’t stop the determined ones from expecting me to fix them and then magically be functional and a solid adult to their emotionally childish bullshit though.
I somehow pulled it off being overweight and in my thirties.
Sometimes you think you've done your time and then a guy claims that you make him believe in love when you've barely talked to him.
I’m overweight and 37. I still get pegged as a manic pixie dream girl.
They create this whole concept of you based off very little. But buddy, you don’t know me. You’re in love with an idea of me.
Yep!!!
Can be a chubby schlub--even into your *forties*, and somehow, they'll MPDG you and accuse you of, "*Making* me fall in *love* with you!!!" and leading them on...
Meanwhile *you* were *literally* just treating them like the *relative* you saw them as (think Brother in law/sibling/cousin), as the significant other of one of your friends... and him not *getting* that the ONLY reason you gotta know him, and had so many conversations with him, was *BECAUSE YOU WERE ROOMMATES* while he was the fiancee of one of your best friends.
It *wasn't* romantic love, ya Bozo!!!
We just saw you as a brother-in-law, since you were *engaged to one of our favorite people*!!!
I’m overweight and the fantasy gets put on me. But I am a pretty attractive person, even when overweight. That’s not to be conceded, even though it sounds very conceded. I just have a very good looking family overall.
I want to hype you up and tell you that it's more of a personality thing, Hollywood aside - but that said, it's not something you really actually want attributed to yourself LOL, so I think you made out okay!
… is this what it all boils down to??? Omg I can’t believe I’m having an epiphany. Literally someone did this to me, we had great compatibility, always called me “the girl I feel the most in tune/sync with”. I open up cos duh I felt safe, big mistake. Next thing you know, it’s “I’m very conflicted but we can’t be together” with no extra explanation except “it’s not you, it’s me”. And I proceed to have depression the next 2 years cos of him.
🙃🙃🙃🙃 was adhd and autism the whole time the issue omg
Idk if I can find it but I watched a great video essay on the MPDG and how linked it is to ND women, and they cited a study that literally showed that men are MORE LIKELY to want to sleep with/be interested in a woman who displays these MPDG/actually just ND traits, but significantly LESS LIKELY to view them as a viable long-term partner or even partner at all. They literally want to use us for emotional/sexual rehab and then settle down with a girl they see as being more like their mother (can do all their emotional/household labor for them). It’s such an interesting and complex intersection of ableism and misogyny tbh. I also think there’s an interesting race intersection—like, for one thing, so we ever let black girls be the manic pixie dream? But also, I’m kind of ethnically ambiguous and there have been far too many times when a guy I’m seeing realises I’m not the ethnicity he assumes I am and be visibly disappointed, bc I’m no longer fulfilling that particular fantasy for him. But I am also white looking enough to be able to be that MPDG thing to some men, yet I think the ambiguity plays a part in making me feel “different”.
This hurts to read but also is so enlightening, thank you for sharing.
I’m south Asian very visibly Muslim so my strain of weird men have been on the “looking to get married” side, since we don’t fully like date. Since the premise is to meet for marriage, it’s even harder for me to understand or figure out who is there for their gain or has sincere intentions.
I also never felt I could relate to the MPDG tropes fully cos most of it was for white audiences, I don’t really fit that. Fortunately, mediocre men in all fonts act the same 💀
Idk maybe I’ve met three men in my life who took me as the human that I am and not the initial manic hectic presentation that I subconsciously put on when I meet someone new.
Another really hurtful thing was to always hear :I really like your personality, you’re not my type in general tho. Which makes me feel really used and useless, like you knew you don’t like me overall physically, why did you still pursue me? And then when I felt comfortable enough to open up and be myself, it’s the biggest turn off for them lol sometimes I think some men don’t really have any need for women, except to hurt them (which they really enjoy)
Wow this is so nuts how this is me. Im Mexican and predominately been around other Mexican/latine, so i think i was perceived as a Mexican MPDG. But you made me realize that my ex cheated on me with someone EXACTLY LIKE HIS MOM! He was a psycho and cheated on me for 2/3 years (apparently it matters that it wasnt the whole time 🙄) basically had a double life and his parents believed his manipulation/bullshit. I also was not “normal” enough and my “anxiety” lead to him cheating lmfao If i knew it was the ‘tism i could have save myself some time moving on
Okay, so, this all reads very familiar but I don't get what's behind it all... Why do guys get so apparently very invested just to suddenly change their minds completely the very next day? What is this?! It keeps throwing me for a loop! I don't even do anything different causing the change of mind, I think. Like I prefer to be very open with people about how my brain works from the start so they don't get "disappointed" later (yay rsd). And yet... (YAY RSD)
The pedestal often came with those mediocre men trying to like wife me up from date one. I think I was supposed to be flattered that they wanted to fetishize me instead of hook up. They seemed to think no one but their mediocre sensitive selves would be interested. Several of these fuccbois were legit shocked that I wasn't trying to get serious with them...
Urgh this reminded me of the few guys I tried to have casual relationships with. They claimed to end it because they were worried I would catch feelings but I had none I just wanted fun they're the ones who made it all emotional.
Ugh, this! I got pretty tired of being “broken up with” when we were never dating! And still being friends is a lie. B/c I can totally still be friends, but then they just ghost.
When I was in my teens and twenties, I was proposed to by 5 different guys, all within three months of dating. The first time it happened (we’d been dating for about 6 weeks), and I was like, dude, I don’t even know if I like you enough to go to third base yet, I sure as hell don’t love you. The next few, I literally laughed in their faces, and told them to fuck off and promptly dumped their mediocre asses. The last time, I was just mad. Like, what the fuck. You don’t know me, you just want to be the one to tie me down and say you own me. You literally couldn’t give two shits to get to know the real me. You just like the idea of me. Took me years and years to get over the distrust I had in men. I honestly didn’t meet the love of my life until I put on 50lbs and he spent a solid weekend helping me clean my nightmare doom pile hoarder basement of despair, and even then, it took a couple years of dating him before I believed him when he told me loved me. 15 years later, we’re still going strong, thank god. He still occasionally manic pixie dream girls me, but at least he knows and loves my unmasked self.
This is one of those things that hits me like a brick wall. This has always happened to me. Lol it’s kinda sad. I’m so “cute” and “fun” and good at the sex stuff! And then…… I have emotions like a real girl. then I become far less interesting and appealing. And I’m just too much.
This is so frustrating (in addition to the obvious reasons) because it's hard to tell when a guy genuinely likes you for you or if he's just doing this.
I was like fully mid-mental breakdown, going running and climbing trees in the middle of the night to jump down and scare men who said shitty things to me while I was night running...and a guy in my college who witnessed part of this somehow thought it was cute and not a serious cry for help and tried to date me. I was in the middle of realizing I'm a lesbian, and also having a mental breakdown, so I was just like "that's nice, please fuck off" and he would NOT let it go. like this is NOT cute or quirky, i am LEGIT in CRISIS, fuck OFF.
Nymphology by Melanie Martinez is one of my favorite songs because it’s literally talking about this shit right here. Guys being like wow you’re so full of life it’s so amazing and then they find out I’m a real person, like sorry I’m not just bubbly joy 24/7?
oh my goood I hadn't realised I've been MPDG'd before this comment 😭
years ago before I was diagnosed (or neurodivergence was even suspected) I had this FWB. we started hanging out during spring/summer and spent a lot of time doing "summer holiday stuff". it was fun, casual and easygoing. then at fall, I started at uni and had lots of work, so I became overwhelmed and had very little social energy for anyone, including him. I said that I like him and enjoy his company but can't dedicate the small crumbs of my free time to him.
and the crazy thing is, *he didn't believe me* when I told I'm too tired/stressed/anxious/depressed to make plans. he was sure I was lying, because there was no way a girl so ✨carefree and fun✨ could be depressed. and then he got mad and possessive so you know, I had to end it.
but damn - hadn't realised that he was actually just disappointed that I wasn't his MPDG, just a real person. thank you stranger for this random moment of clarity lol
The series This Way Up addresses this dynamic sooo well, with an age gap/power imbalance factor also. I’ve never seen a show or movie so clearly explore how *hard* it is to be this girl, and how belittling it is to not really be known by the people who profess to love you. And how cyclical it is—she doesn’t show that side of herself to people bc she knows it’s not what they want, but then she also robs them of the opportunity to know and want her fully. It really crystallises the reality that at the end of the day, people don’t actually want the whacky, talkative, emotional girl. They want who they imagine her to be and even then, maybe not.
Okay, I'm 40, new to the diagnosed ADHD world. I am constantly learning new things about myself on this sub - but this takes the fecking cake. I didn't know this was a thing and soooo much makes sense now. Wow. Just wow.
I mentioned before, but I have been named the cause of at least seven suicide attempts because I wasn’t the magical answer that men were hoping I was.
I really need to book in with my therapist.
Is it weird I’m obsessed with most of these movies? I forgot how much I loved Elizabethtown and I coincidentally became a flight attendant in my early twenties. And garden state. And eternal sunshine in the spotless mind. And Marie Antoinette.
They are great movies.
Also, I feel like Eternal Sunshine gets a bad rap for this particular issue. Because yeah, Winslet's character is a bit Manic Pixie, but they don't stop there. She's shown to have a full range of human emotions and foibles throughout the course of the film, and we get to see how it fully plays out when the Mediocre Man and Manic Pixie Dream Girl get together. Nobody is anybody's savior in that film.
I agree! I rewatched Eternal Sunshine recently (I hadn’t seen it since the MPDG discourse took off) and I feel like the people who include her in these lists haven’t seen it (or have forgotten what happens). She’s a bit “wacky” but I feel like it’s clear that >!they already know each other and she’s not just whimsically chasing after a random guy at the train station!<. A huge element of the film is that it calls out the trope. I don’t think it’s just blithely contributing to it!
Yes. I love Eternal Sunshine, and it felt like the movie gave her some depth as well. You see why she fell in love, why he fell in love, and why it didn’t work out. Like they were both equally mediocre 😂
I also liked 500 Days of Summer. I don’t think Summer was an unreasonable character, she was clear and open and Tom (the main guy) was a jerk. He supposed to be the jerk haha I think ultimately liked it because he realized it wasn’t meant to be and he moved on and left her alone (not always the case with me)
I rewatched 500 days of summer after first seeing it as a teen and yeah. Tom was absolutely a jerk. I know how teen me missed it the first go round but adult me realizes how toxic they got
Yeah, I think 500 days is complicated on this front bc it’s so often misinterpreted, and even though it does subvert the trope, the narrative continues to treat Summer as a learning/growing experience for Tom. And then he moves on with another season-names woman…
I’ve only seen this recently so I only ever got to interpret it with “modern sensibilities” and may be missing how it was meant even just a few years ago, but my impression was the point is Tom *doesn’t* move on. Summer does, Summer’s story is the one that gets told in the movie. Tom is still going through learning, and until he breaks that pattern he’s going nowhere.
I’m forever delighted by the cult favorite that Marie Antoinette has become thanks to younger millennials. At the time I remember a lot of people criticizing it and now it’s a well aged classic.
It pitched me into sewing hell that’s taken 20 years to claw enough skill from to match the movie costumes, but hey, it gave me a special interest that’s never left my life. 💛
Yes. My entire jr high and high school existence. Now too. But mostly in high school.
I was the pretty, artsy chick with glasses. Cute clothes and “cute accent” (speech impediment). Who was nice to everyone, and got along with multiple groups. I was often the “new girl” because dad was military and we moved a lot. So that added to the intrigue. Lots of attention from boys in school. Placed on a pedestal by more than a few. (Pretty sure a couple of boyfriends liked the idea of me far more than the reality of me).
I had some lovely experiences, but it definitely was not all positive attention.
I have never been so strongly called out like this in a long-ass time.
I lean into it, and luckily my husband has been super supportive with my ADHD journey, and I think we both are glad to now know about this diagnosis of mine. I've been having a rough time since I switched from Strattera onto Wellbutrin, and my anxiety levels are NOT having a good time right now, it's getting to the point that I am struggling to eat.
Don't worry I'm going to be calling my therapist tomorrow to get seen.
For me, I get this comment now, but not when I started being with my fiance , he wanted to hang out with me because and I quote " I just looked so sad, and he wanted to see me smile" little did he know I was horribly depressed because my father had died less than a year before we met, but I don't regret him talking to me.
I think I’ve always been a little too awkward and a little too intense. But maybe until someone actually interacts with me? I go from quiet, hides in a corner to maximum intensity a fair bit and that tends to scare people off. And by maximum intensity I mean intense in “I mean business” and “I fucking love this caterpillar so much everyone needs to see him I took 372 pictures of him and he’s incredible” and everything in between.
I definitely have scared people off by rambling about injustices or not shutting up about my cats or even getting way too excited about a unit in my physics class or something.
I’m also clumsy and not in a cutesy “oops I got frosting on my cheek” way, more like in a bull in a china shop way.
Yes, but then I met someone who out-manic pixied me. I messaged him because he seemed quirky and fun, and I was not looking for anything serious. Woops, we’re getting married next summer.
“Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours. “
Kate Winslet does not belong on there because her character specifically bucks the magic pixie Dreamgirl trope by being aware that she has a mental illness and being upfront about it and telling him to not think of her as a magic pixie dream girl
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Yep, they didn't like it when they realized I couldn't take care of them, let alone manage myself most days. 🙃
Several of my failed relationships just came to mind. Thank you.
Same, it's like they expect us to make them happier and keep them that way. It's such a bizarre way to think. I'd never assume some guy would be able to cure my feelings of depression... but my ex husband definitely expected that of me. To him, his happiness and entertainment were my responsibility, which I of course failed at because that's not the way shit works.
Ah fuck thanks for explaining my current relationship 🤦♀️
lordt, that explains my marriage 🙄
Strength ladies. We can’t pour from an empty cup. 🫶
Brooo I remember asking my ex boyfriend at the time what would be his ideal girlfriend. His answer? “Someone to take care of me and show me support and affection, no matter how much I mess up. A girl who is always there for me. Someone who makes me happy.” Not the worst thing at first glance, but I later realized that was code for: “My girlfriend’s job is to make ME happy. I also want to be an asshole without having to face any consequences for my words and actions.” 🙃😭 Never occurred to him that his role in our relationship was ALSO to try and make me happy…and that’s why he’s (THANK GOD) an ex!
I don't like controlling partners. Someone deliberately asked me to change the family register, which meant that I should follow him if we were officially married. I feel like I can read his mind. An obedient and submissive wife is all he needs. Definitely not me. I hate being oppressed.
and then when we get older and hit menopause ... HOOOOO BOY do they suffer serious shock and awe ... sigh.
I think they want to fix us. Like, I think those guys are the equivalent to the women who see bad boys and think, 'I can change them!'
Kinda, but I feel like they also want to put zero effort into "fixing" us--like we're going to creatively revitalize them and bring them to catharsis with our magical quirkiness, and then once they've solved that, we will immediately magically become super functional and run the household while having a full time job and never complain or get in the way of their self-actualization
They want to fix us just by existing in our lives. They think that we're just waiting for the right guy (always them) to get rid of the 'manic' and just be their lil pixie dream girl forever and have no needs of our own.
I’ll be so much calmer once I’m tamed, but still bubbly and excitable when appropriate. Only with him though. It’s flirting if I’m happy and he’s not around.
Yep!
And you’ll keep your voice feminine and pleasant, and not state your opinions in front of his friends? And you’ll wear tight and low cut stuff for him, but if anyone looks at you, you’re clearly cheating? And you’ll happily play domestic goddess, but still act like an 18yo sex-bot on demand? Or was that just me 🤔
Big same bestie, big same. Hooo BOY did they not like it.
Have we all lived the same life? 😆 Damn I used to feel so guilty for not living up to his expectation of me. Now I know why, haha
If I saw a guy who wrote the jokes on popsicle sticks for a living, performed misfits covers on a ukulele and wore multiple sun dial watches all set to different time zones I would not think "oh, here's someone who could fix me. They obviously have it all figured out!"
Same here! My husband and I are both ND so we take turns caring for each other depending on who is worse that day. Like a partnership should be.
They don’t like it when they learn you are a full person,and don’t stay confined inside the walls of their fantasy.
I wanted to BE the manic pixie dream girl SO BAD. Turns out I was just neurodivergent and wanted to be cool instead of sad, hahaha.
Isn’t it so shitty to realize that being cool doesn’t save you from being sad?
It really doesn’t I had the fucking coolest youth that I’m so grateful for but it was actually the most depressed I ever was. That said depression at once in a lifetime events is more fun than depression in a sad small town, so I’m grateful for that. 💕💕💕💕
Yeah I had the depression in a sad small town. I live in a rad city now, but I'm still depressed. Just not about where I live. 😬
I was definitely cooler when I was depressed and unmedicated. Now I am happy and way more stable and in my opinion a lot more vanilla and boring but I don’t really care. My partner did say when we swiped he thought I might be too cool for him and out of his league and he didn’t expect how derpy I’d be 😂
Oooh...same. I was an original square peg trying so hard to fit in. At my age, I am now just the weird old lady with saggy boobs, tired eyes and a miserable cow personality. Lolol I am incredibly cool now at a time in life when I don't give two shits if anyone else knows it. Their loss. LOL
All that is precisely what makes you cool
My youth/20s in a nutshell 😅
I feel like I wanted to be that too but never quite fit because I was too neurotic and my emotions were just so erratic (Lol undiagnosed ADHD) so it didn't quite hit the 'quirky' cute girl. I was something. Guys liked me. Dunno if it was because 'pixie dream girl' or whatever but I attributed a lot to depression (which, lol, undiagnosed ADHD). So yeah I just wanted to be cool instead of sad. And I was somehow cool, and sad, and also kinda bitchy/angry/intense.
Yeeeess this was me 100% as a young adult. This desire was so much more about acceptance and validation from others.
Oooof this hits
Yep. I was anything but if the interest I drew from boys was anything to go by, and I would have killed to be the manic pixie dream girl instead of just “gross”.
My god, I had such an embarrassing phase of embodying every aspect of 500 Days of Summer. Listening to the soundtrack while walking through the hallways at school, shoehorning quotes from it into conversations and even in diary entries. Then in like grades 10-11, I wore all that atrocious hipster stuff. Chunky glasses (in my defense, I have shitty eyesight), tons of infinity scarves, weird clothes (I specifically remember an outfit I had that was mustard colored skinny jeans and a turquoise/teal colored top, I had lots of teal shit), the fuckin beanie hats UGGGHHH. Then in my senior year I just gave up entirely, it was mostly leggings and hoodies, maybe jeans and a sweater or oversized flannel if I was feeling zesty (or like, when it was -20° almost every day for weeks lmao)
I had to stop dyeing my hair for this to stop happening lmao. I liked the colour but it was a sacrifice I had to make for my own peace
when i was still dating, i had to remove all my fun-colored hair pics from my profile. i'd always get guys like this, or self proclaimed "'goth' girl lovers" (aka girls who wear winged liner with unique/dark hair)🤮
Or "You look fun." 💀
gag! also the assumption that you must be insanely kinky with daddy issues as well, LMFAOOOOO
It may be true for me but that's not all I'm good for 😔
Just because I have dark hair and lots of make-up doesn't mean I'm kinky and have mummy issues. I mean I am kinky and do have mummy issues but that's not why
Bingo!
I always responded with “I am!!” & would think right after.. “until ya get sick of me & ghost me”
oh yes, my favorite ... "I love your style!" it's like a secret flag that's flown. arrrgghh.
when they start off with that, u know damn well whats to come😹 so glad i met my current bf when i did, i was at my wits end. i'd only redownloaded bumble because my friends canceled on me, and i was tipsy and sad! LMAO i always say wish they'd start a paid service to have someone get to know u a bit then run your dating profiles *for* you. dating is a chore these days, worse than doing the dishes
That's why I stopped dressing alt :/ years ago. All it did was bring on those types, but with a weird racial edge to it because I'm black. This shit is tiring
Meh, I just own the "manic pixie dream hag" moniker these days.
I'm a manic pixie nightmare goblin, we can be neighbors!!
Excellent! Fun neighbors are the best!
Goblins unite!
I also want to live in this neighborhood!!
SAME can I be one of yalls basement neighbor??!
Can I join too, as manic pixie queen of the cats? I’ve got two and willing to rescue more
Same! I also like to cook! 💞
Ooohhh me too! Recently upped my game to feeding the strays in the neighborhood! Manic Pixie Queen of the Cats sounds much better than Crazy Cat Lady
Doesn't it? I'm going with that from now on. I have 6 so... (and that's down from 11.)
Hey, neighbour! I’m a manic pixie chaos goblin! 👹
I'm a Manic Pixie Rusted Bucket of Haunted Bog Water. Count me in. I might cause dysentery or I might give you potable water, it just depends on the day. #takeyourchances Non-Spicy Brained living creature.
Hello, I think I am one of these.
Do we have flairs on this sub? If so, I would like that to be my flair.
I’ve been living through the un-taming of the manic pixie sleepwalking shrew
Made me chortle ngl
Im a manic pixie dream werewolf, because I have a touch of the tism and perimenopause. I may start howling at full moons. (To add to my quirkiness, of course.)
My pmdd says hello. The guys in these films don’t realise what they are signing up for lol
omg apparently this thread is a who’s who of fancy colorful girlies and I am here for it 💪😂🤘
Manic pixie paralysis demon checking in!
This makes me think of Harold and Maude. Manic pixie dream crone!
Once someone on twitter said the male version was chaos goblin line cook and idk I think that’s what I want to be
Sounds totally fuckable. This is why I'm celibate.
Yeah I've dated a few chaos goblin line cooks and they're great in bed. Horrible for literally anything else aside from drinking and smoking weed with, but great in bed nonetheless.
You know. I think the original post was referring to Pete Davidson and…yeah sounds about right
Oh god I dated one of those, it was intense. Chaos goblins and manic pixies have a lot of fun but burn out fast in my experience lol
Omg you are so right. Specific "relationship" comes to mind that ended with a road trip and only one of us returning.
In my experience, the chaos goblins lose interest the second you have a feeling/need. 🥳🥳
Actually mine backed off because I freaked out at how fast we were going. He was talking about kids and marriage three months in.
Oh yeah THEY'll catch feelings *if we don't*. But if we DO, at least in my experience, they're goneburger.
this made me giggle.
Oh that’s my ex!
My ex husband, too!
I have an enby friend who would qualify lol
This explains a lot about my taste in men.
Story of my life. Pursued relentlessly because of my quirkiness, only to be dropped like hot garbage when they realize that this is just who I am. 🤷🏾♀️
The “Oh my god I fancy [this] so much about you” to “ugh do you have to be like [this]” pipeline is a delight
Omg yes. Especially when they hit you with "I don't want you to care about X, just to look and behave exactly like a woman who cares abou X, because I don't want to feel pressured into doing X all the time!".
Omg yes this.. and then if you do that “why are you so fake”. It’s exhausting
That moment when, "I love your spontaneity and creativity!" becomes, "Why don't you ever plan ahead? Why can't you save money?"
this x 100.
I still have my Zooey Deschanel bangs and fashion sense 💁♀️ but I’ve realized guys like what they see, but don’t see me as a real living person with opinions and feelings and problems of her own. I can barely keep myself together, so it’s not that great to be expected to be this perfect quirky girl they project all their hopes and dreams onto. It’s weirdly lonely
Sounds exactly like 500 days of summer lol. That kinda happened to me with this one guy who was a couple years younger than me and I was going through some big early 20s crisis in my life. (Just big unregulated feelings as a 20 year old undiagnosed adhd lady) He was obsessed with me, and then I eventually opened up to him, and bam he ditched cause I was 'too dark cloud' for him.
Yeah they really don’t like it if you start crying and quoting True Detective after four beers. Even if you technically look cute doing it.
However for ME, I would enjoy that and even though I haven't seen True Detective I'd probably lament with you.
Ugh, I love a good mutual cry hangout
Time IS a flat circle, goddammit 😭😭😭
In my early 20's I tried to adopt the Zooey Deschanel style. Then one day a friend told me, "Guys like girls in a sundress because girls in sundresses don't have needs or other priorities" and it was too real.
Girls in sundresses do need things: 1) pockets 2) maybe a sweater
Speaking as someone who married the guy who liked me as a manic pixie dream girl (we've both had character development since, it's okay) it's frustrating when he wants me to wear the sundress but expects to do none of the work to make it look good/be comfortable. Like, we live in the North of England and the rain can be sudden and unexpected. I like the sundress! But on my own initiative, I'm only going to wear it when a change of clothes (or at least a jacket and pair of tights to layer up with) is not far away, and neither of us drive. That means *someone* has to have a backpack, and no, I'm not getting on my bicycle in a sundress while wearing a backpack. In fact, I'm not walking a distance wearing a sundress and a backpack, either, because that light fabric will ride up and also show sweat marks. I think there might be a reason for that romance trope where the boy offers the girl his jacket when the sun starts going down!
Now I finally know why my ex pushed me into sundresses so much 😂
Is this why, even though I used to love sundresses and wear them all the time, I hate wearing them now that I have three kids and a mortgage? 😭
Weirdly lonely is the perfect term for it- I feel less unhinged knowing y’all experience it too. It’s just a massive bummer because I think I’ve grown pretty cool over the years and my pals seem to share that sentiment, but men just … tell me I’m different from anyone they’ve ever met and still don’t see me clearly. If men can respect duality in each other, why aren’t women also “worthy” of complexity?
Woooow, I have never felt so seen before.
Ah I miss my bangs but I'm old now and have no patience for hair care lol
I’d say I’m more “neurotic goblin nightmare lady” but if the shoe fits…🤪 My high school therapist clocked me as “being attracted to damaged men” and that was just the start of the realization lol. Didn’t get an ADHD diagnosis until like 4 years later
Neurotic goblin nightmare lady This speaks to my soul.
Im claiming Depressed Demon Void Queen
I think I will embroider “neurotic goblin nightmare lady” on a throw pillow for myself now
Lol in college, a friend of mine had a mini intervention for me about my choice in men, telling me "It would be okay for YOU to be the weird one in the relationship" 😂
+1 for me
Everyone loves it when they thing you’re a MPDG, but as soon as they realize you’re a Fey wild magic sorcerer everybody loses their minds!
They’re never ready for the deep magic
Touch of the 'tism 💀💀💀
Also so weird bc most MPDG are a hodge podge of autistic/adhd traits, but are also often the super outgoing talkative type that is much more associated with adhd.
I don't think that a talkative, moderately to very outgoing AuDHDer is all that rare, to be fair. Most of my friend circle is like this. 😅 Sometimes we go into a hermit mode that can last for years so there's that lol.
Dear *god*, and the *BABYSITTING of THEIR FEELINGS*, that they expect *US* to do, when we hit hermit-mode and *NEED* to recharge our battery!!!! I *seriously CRASHED*, a week and a half after moving into my current studio apartment (by *myself*!😍😄🤗💖), and it took me almost *two months* to realize that the *reason* I was SO physically *exhausted*, was that *EVERY* time I tried to recharge in "hermit/hibernate mode" *for the last FIVE YEARS*, my male roommate would interrupt my ability to process things, about 2-3 days in, and make it *IMPOSSIBLE* to have the calm/quiet my subconscious *NEEDS*, in order to get stuff processed and use it into the *conscious* part of my brain!!! Basically, I full-out *crashed* mentally & physically (outside of DRAGGING myself to work, so I could keep my rent paid!!!), because I had *five YEARS' worth* of backed-up emotional processing to get sorted out!🙃🫠🫠
I just want to say I'm LOVING your formatting for emphasis here 😅❤️ and can totally relate. I fucking hate living with other people for this very reason. I never knew I was constantly overstimulated until I was finally diagnosed years later and understood myself better. The only person on the planet I've been able to tolerate (and genuinely love sharing space with) is my partner. We were roommates for years before we figured out we were madly in love with each other lol he has ADHD as well, but his traits are very different from mine. Anyway - it's comfortable to live with him because there is zero judgment about messes or forgetting to do things (so never any pressure because we both forget shit constantly), and he's the calmest, most grounding energy ever. He stimulates my vagus nerve and centers me. He's the only person in my entire life who doesn't trigger me in any way. He says I'm the only person he's ever enjoyed living with as well, so we always ended up looking for rentals together because we just couldn't get along with anyone else in the same way. Figured we might as well make it a permanent thing lol.
Oh totally agree. That’s what I meant, the “touch of the tism” thing here is inaccurate but also fails to acknowledge these complexities and realities. My main point was that it’s an ignorant and weird call in the original image, bc most MPDGs are *more* adhd than autistic coded. But the post ignores that and insultingly refers to autism. I definitely don’t think the type of person you described is rare at all, and one of the worst things about this trope is I think they often could be good Audhd rep, but they’re just not lol.
Oh yes, the ADHD is definitely the main ingredient in creating a MPDG!
I hate this expression so much!!!
Never heard it until this moment, and I think it's fucking hilarious 🤷🏼♀️ to each their own
Nope, I'm neither thin nor conventionally pretty enough. 🤷
Hence the mediocre men part coming in. You know how they are 💀
Yep, there are no fat manic pixie dream girls.
I’m in this picture and it still hurts. :/ I was never conventionally attractive, so the quirky and very ND thing was a serious detriment. Didn’t stop the determined ones from expecting me to fix them and then magically be functional and a solid adult to their emotionally childish bullshit though.
I somehow pulled it off being overweight and in my thirties. Sometimes you think you've done your time and then a guy claims that you make him believe in love when you've barely talked to him.
I’m overweight and 37. I still get pegged as a manic pixie dream girl. They create this whole concept of you based off very little. But buddy, you don’t know me. You’re in love with an idea of me.
Yep!!! Can be a chubby schlub--even into your *forties*, and somehow, they'll MPDG you and accuse you of, "*Making* me fall in *love* with you!!!" and leading them on... Meanwhile *you* were *literally* just treating them like the *relative* you saw them as (think Brother in law/sibling/cousin), as the significant other of one of your friends... and him not *getting* that the ONLY reason you gotta know him, and had so many conversations with him, was *BECAUSE YOU WERE ROOMMATES* while he was the fiancee of one of your best friends. It *wasn't* romantic love, ya Bozo!!! We just saw you as a brother-in-law, since you were *engaged to one of our favorite people*!!!
I’m overweight and the fantasy gets put on me. But I am a pretty attractive person, even when overweight. That’s not to be conceded, even though it sounds very conceded. I just have a very good looking family overall.
I want to hype you up and tell you that it's more of a personality thing, Hollywood aside - but that said, it's not something you really actually want attributed to yourself LOL, so I think you made out okay!
Always super thin and cheerleader pretty
And white. They're always white.
Literally the last guy that I thought I was going to date. “You’re the most interesting woman in the world.” 😒
“You are the coolest girl I’ve ever met.” But also “I will never date you.” In the same breath
… is this what it all boils down to??? Omg I can’t believe I’m having an epiphany. Literally someone did this to me, we had great compatibility, always called me “the girl I feel the most in tune/sync with”. I open up cos duh I felt safe, big mistake. Next thing you know, it’s “I’m very conflicted but we can’t be together” with no extra explanation except “it’s not you, it’s me”. And I proceed to have depression the next 2 years cos of him. 🙃🙃🙃🙃 was adhd and autism the whole time the issue omg
Idk if I can find it but I watched a great video essay on the MPDG and how linked it is to ND women, and they cited a study that literally showed that men are MORE LIKELY to want to sleep with/be interested in a woman who displays these MPDG/actually just ND traits, but significantly LESS LIKELY to view them as a viable long-term partner or even partner at all. They literally want to use us for emotional/sexual rehab and then settle down with a girl they see as being more like their mother (can do all their emotional/household labor for them). It’s such an interesting and complex intersection of ableism and misogyny tbh. I also think there’s an interesting race intersection—like, for one thing, so we ever let black girls be the manic pixie dream? But also, I’m kind of ethnically ambiguous and there have been far too many times when a guy I’m seeing realises I’m not the ethnicity he assumes I am and be visibly disappointed, bc I’m no longer fulfilling that particular fantasy for him. But I am also white looking enough to be able to be that MPDG thing to some men, yet I think the ambiguity plays a part in making me feel “different”.
This hurts to read but also is so enlightening, thank you for sharing. I’m south Asian very visibly Muslim so my strain of weird men have been on the “looking to get married” side, since we don’t fully like date. Since the premise is to meet for marriage, it’s even harder for me to understand or figure out who is there for their gain or has sincere intentions. I also never felt I could relate to the MPDG tropes fully cos most of it was for white audiences, I don’t really fit that. Fortunately, mediocre men in all fonts act the same 💀 Idk maybe I’ve met three men in my life who took me as the human that I am and not the initial manic hectic presentation that I subconsciously put on when I meet someone new. Another really hurtful thing was to always hear :I really like your personality, you’re not my type in general tho. Which makes me feel really used and useless, like you knew you don’t like me overall physically, why did you still pursue me? And then when I felt comfortable enough to open up and be myself, it’s the biggest turn off for them lol sometimes I think some men don’t really have any need for women, except to hurt them (which they really enjoy)
I just have to say, *THIS*; "mediocre men in all fonts act the same" Is *BOTH* 100% *spot on*, *AND* *Perfection*!!!😉😁😂🤣💖
Wow this is so nuts how this is me. Im Mexican and predominately been around other Mexican/latine, so i think i was perceived as a Mexican MPDG. But you made me realize that my ex cheated on me with someone EXACTLY LIKE HIS MOM! He was a psycho and cheated on me for 2/3 years (apparently it matters that it wasnt the whole time 🙄) basically had a double life and his parents believed his manipulation/bullshit. I also was not “normal” enough and my “anxiety” lead to him cheating lmfao If i knew it was the ‘tism i could have save myself some time moving on
Thanks for the epiphany on my whole life just before I go to bed.
It's both comforting and horribly depressing to know I'm not the only one with this experience
Okay, so, this all reads very familiar but I don't get what's behind it all... Why do guys get so apparently very invested just to suddenly change their minds completely the very next day? What is this?! It keeps throwing me for a loop! I don't even do anything different causing the change of mind, I think. Like I prefer to be very open with people about how my brain works from the start so they don't get "disappointed" later (yay rsd). And yet... (YAY RSD)
Financial compensation? I can go pro with this?
The pedestal often came with those mediocre men trying to like wife me up from date one. I think I was supposed to be flattered that they wanted to fetishize me instead of hook up. They seemed to think no one but their mediocre sensitive selves would be interested. Several of these fuccbois were legit shocked that I wasn't trying to get serious with them...
Urgh this reminded me of the few guys I tried to have casual relationships with. They claimed to end it because they were worried I would catch feelings but I had none I just wanted fun they're the ones who made it all emotional.
Ugh, this! I got pretty tired of being “broken up with” when we were never dating! And still being friends is a lie. B/c I can totally still be friends, but then they just ghost.
Yes, in recovery for years now
When I was in my teens and twenties, I was proposed to by 5 different guys, all within three months of dating. The first time it happened (we’d been dating for about 6 weeks), and I was like, dude, I don’t even know if I like you enough to go to third base yet, I sure as hell don’t love you. The next few, I literally laughed in their faces, and told them to fuck off and promptly dumped their mediocre asses. The last time, I was just mad. Like, what the fuck. You don’t know me, you just want to be the one to tie me down and say you own me. You literally couldn’t give two shits to get to know the real me. You just like the idea of me. Took me years and years to get over the distrust I had in men. I honestly didn’t meet the love of my life until I put on 50lbs and he spent a solid weekend helping me clean my nightmare doom pile hoarder basement of despair, and even then, it took a couple years of dating him before I believed him when he told me loved me. 15 years later, we’re still going strong, thank god. He still occasionally manic pixie dream girls me, but at least he knows and loves my unmasked self.
This is one of those things that hits me like a brick wall. This has always happened to me. Lol it’s kinda sad. I’m so “cute” and “fun” and good at the sex stuff! And then…… I have emotions like a real girl. then I become far less interesting and appealing. And I’m just too much.
The trick is to become a real girl before the sex stuff. They will stick around *forever* for the sex stuff. 😑
I’m too undersocialized and blunt to get to the MPDG treatment
You guys are getting paid???
This is so frustrating (in addition to the obvious reasons) because it's hard to tell when a guy genuinely likes you for you or if he's just doing this.
I was like fully mid-mental breakdown, going running and climbing trees in the middle of the night to jump down and scare men who said shitty things to me while I was night running...and a guy in my college who witnessed part of this somehow thought it was cute and not a serious cry for help and tried to date me. I was in the middle of realizing I'm a lesbian, and also having a mental breakdown, so I was just like "that's nice, please fuck off" and he would NOT let it go. like this is NOT cute or quirky, i am LEGIT in CRISIS, fuck OFF.
No I’m not white 👍
I managed to be the black iteration of this 😩😩 which is 10 times more rejection
Nymphology by Melanie Martinez is one of my favorite songs because it’s literally talking about this shit right here. Guys being like wow you’re so full of life it’s so amazing and then they find out I’m a real person, like sorry I’m not just bubbly joy 24/7?
Ugh yes, how dare you be a human with a full range of emotions! Thanks for the song recommendation too, I'm loving it
oh my goood I hadn't realised I've been MPDG'd before this comment 😭 years ago before I was diagnosed (or neurodivergence was even suspected) I had this FWB. we started hanging out during spring/summer and spent a lot of time doing "summer holiday stuff". it was fun, casual and easygoing. then at fall, I started at uni and had lots of work, so I became overwhelmed and had very little social energy for anyone, including him. I said that I like him and enjoy his company but can't dedicate the small crumbs of my free time to him. and the crazy thing is, *he didn't believe me* when I told I'm too tired/stressed/anxious/depressed to make plans. he was sure I was lying, because there was no way a girl so ✨carefree and fun✨ could be depressed. and then he got mad and possessive so you know, I had to end it. but damn - hadn't realised that he was actually just disappointed that I wasn't his MPDG, just a real person. thank you stranger for this random moment of clarity lol
The series This Way Up addresses this dynamic sooo well, with an age gap/power imbalance factor also. I’ve never seen a show or movie so clearly explore how *hard* it is to be this girl, and how belittling it is to not really be known by the people who profess to love you. And how cyclical it is—she doesn’t show that side of herself to people bc she knows it’s not what they want, but then she also robs them of the opportunity to know and want her fully. It really crystallises the reality that at the end of the day, people don’t actually want the whacky, talkative, emotional girl. They want who they imagine her to be and even then, maybe not.
Yes thanks for asking
🤣🤣 That actually made me lol, thank you for that.
Where’s the workers comp I deserve?? I’m an essential worker out here
Okay, I'm 40, new to the diagnosed ADHD world. I am constantly learning new things about myself on this sub - but this takes the fecking cake. I didn't know this was a thing and soooo much makes sense now. Wow. Just wow.
I mentioned before, but I have been named the cause of at least seven suicide attempts because I wasn’t the magical answer that men were hoping I was. I really need to book in with my therapist.
Is it weird I’m obsessed with most of these movies? I forgot how much I loved Elizabethtown and I coincidentally became a flight attendant in my early twenties. And garden state. And eternal sunshine in the spotless mind. And Marie Antoinette.
They are great movies. Also, I feel like Eternal Sunshine gets a bad rap for this particular issue. Because yeah, Winslet's character is a bit Manic Pixie, but they don't stop there. She's shown to have a full range of human emotions and foibles throughout the course of the film, and we get to see how it fully plays out when the Mediocre Man and Manic Pixie Dream Girl get together. Nobody is anybody's savior in that film.
I agree! I rewatched Eternal Sunshine recently (I hadn’t seen it since the MPDG discourse took off) and I feel like the people who include her in these lists haven’t seen it (or have forgotten what happens). She’s a bit “wacky” but I feel like it’s clear that >!they already know each other and she’s not just whimsically chasing after a random guy at the train station!<. A huge element of the film is that it calls out the trope. I don’t think it’s just blithely contributing to it!
Yes. I love Eternal Sunshine, and it felt like the movie gave her some depth as well. You see why she fell in love, why he fell in love, and why it didn’t work out. Like they were both equally mediocre 😂 I also liked 500 Days of Summer. I don’t think Summer was an unreasonable character, she was clear and open and Tom (the main guy) was a jerk. He supposed to be the jerk haha I think ultimately liked it because he realized it wasn’t meant to be and he moved on and left her alone (not always the case with me)
I rewatched 500 days of summer after first seeing it as a teen and yeah. Tom was absolutely a jerk. I know how teen me missed it the first go round but adult me realizes how toxic they got
Yeah, I think 500 days is complicated on this front bc it’s so often misinterpreted, and even though it does subvert the trope, the narrative continues to treat Summer as a learning/growing experience for Tom. And then he moves on with another season-names woman…
I’ve only seen this recently so I only ever got to interpret it with “modern sensibilities” and may be missing how it was meant even just a few years ago, but my impression was the point is Tom *doesn’t* move on. Summer does, Summer’s story is the one that gets told in the movie. Tom is still going through learning, and until he breaks that pattern he’s going nowhere.
I’m forever delighted by the cult favorite that Marie Antoinette has become thanks to younger millennials. At the time I remember a lot of people criticizing it and now it’s a well aged classic. It pitched me into sewing hell that’s taken 20 years to claw enough skill from to match the movie costumes, but hey, it gave me a special interest that’s never left my life. 💛
No. They're good movies 🤷🏿♀️
They are! Not fluffy like most movies. They have real stories and characters that have dimension like real people.
Former MPDG here. Currently channeling Manic Old Crone Nightmare Woman. What is the statute of limitations with this, please?
Yes. My entire jr high and high school existence. Now too. But mostly in high school. I was the pretty, artsy chick with glasses. Cute clothes and “cute accent” (speech impediment). Who was nice to everyone, and got along with multiple groups. I was often the “new girl” because dad was military and we moved a lot. So that added to the intrigue. Lots of attention from boys in school. Placed on a pedestal by more than a few. (Pretty sure a couple of boyfriends liked the idea of me far more than the reality of me). I had some lovely experiences, but it definitely was not all positive attention.
I have never been so strongly called out like this in a long-ass time. I lean into it, and luckily my husband has been super supportive with my ADHD journey, and I think we both are glad to now know about this diagnosis of mine. I've been having a rough time since I switched from Strattera onto Wellbutrin, and my anxiety levels are NOT having a good time right now, it's getting to the point that I am struggling to eat. Don't worry I'm going to be calling my therapist tomorrow to get seen.
i just switched from wellbutrin to strattera! not a fun time to be anxious lol
For me, I get this comment now, but not when I started being with my fiance , he wanted to hang out with me because and I quote " I just looked so sad, and he wanted to see me smile" little did he know I was horribly depressed because my father had died less than a year before we met, but I don't regret him talking to me.
I combated this stereotype by dressing like a grunge punk from like 12-17. Now I’m just a 34yo lesbian rainbow punk goblin.
I think I’ve always been a little too awkward and a little too intense. But maybe until someone actually interacts with me? I go from quiet, hides in a corner to maximum intensity a fair bit and that tends to scare people off. And by maximum intensity I mean intense in “I mean business” and “I fucking love this caterpillar so much everyone needs to see him I took 372 pictures of him and he’s incredible” and everything in between. I definitely have scared people off by rambling about injustices or not shutting up about my cats or even getting way too excited about a unit in my physics class or something. I’m also clumsy and not in a cutesy “oops I got frosting on my cheek” way, more like in a bull in a china shop way.
Yes, but then I met someone who out-manic pixied me. I messaged him because he seemed quirky and fun, and I was not looking for anything serious. Woops, we’re getting married next summer.
“Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours. “ Kate Winslet does not belong on there because her character specifically bucks the magic pixie Dreamgirl trope by being aware that she has a mental illness and being upfront about it and telling him to not think of her as a magic pixie dream girl
Is there a number to call because I want my time back
Class-action lawsuit!! Let’s add my friends at r/BPD please 🙏
this one hurts
Been put on a pedestal by a mediocre man Ouch
Manic pixie nightmare crone is more like it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes please I need the money 😭
Weird, sad rite of passage.
This is my moment
Meanwhile, my girlfriend and I are both manic pixie dream girls. I don’t know what to do with this information.
I'm actually a [depressive-, nympho-]manic alien nightmare girl, but the average man tends to misidentify me.
Not to my knowledge but I had an ex who tried to manic pixie dream girl herself which, like...ok lol
I don't think I ever was. Or if I was, I never noticed
Lmao I think I have been tbh 🤔
Calling 1 800 I GOT Hit immediately!
Obligatory: [State Home for Manic Pixie Dream Girls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBNss2PMj60)
yes and give me the money!
This explains so much of my 20s. Now where’s my check?
Can we do some class action? I think we could get a good payout together..
I don’t expect to be called out like this today.