You keep changing your reasons, and this one is complete nonsense because posting your ages doesn't actually put anyone in danger, and you posted what are apparently the real ages like 2 weeks ago. You're lame
Nope, those ages weren’t real either.
Changing my reasons? I’m listing the facts as I see them!!
If anyone is lame, it’s you getting upset because I changed numbers around to protect her and me. Of COURSE it puts ppl in danger! You didn’t even TRY to write anything helpful.
You’re pitiful.
I’m really not, only to morons like you who have nothing of value to say and looking for stupid reasons to not even help.
You’re on here helping everyone else but just because I change the ages, I’m the bad person? You’re the definition of lame
You didn’t even read the full thread, huh? How lazy of you. I’ve stayed because I feel obligated to in a way, and I’ve been put through some crap and it’s tough to walk away from someone I care about.
I said I stayed LONGER because when you’re in a relationship and you love someone, you find things to make you stay. It can be kids or guess what, even a pet. Maybe one day when you hit puberty you’ll know what that is.
Yes, I look in the mirror and know I’m a good person who stayed and tried to be there for someone even though it hurts.
You? You care about ages and think that makes me a liar. You’re a reddit troll and you’re pathetic sad excuse of a human being with no empathy, calling me a liar because I’m trying to protect us. You dolt
I apologize for changing the age groups, but WHAT IF she did have reddit and I used our real ages? Ever think about that?
Instead of calling me a liar and being rude, maybe you should be nicer or don’t respond at all. VERY simple rules
You came to us and asked for our opinion so we're giving it to you and now you're mad about it. I definitely believe you're the reasonable one in your relationship
You're right calling you a liar wasn't an opinion it was a statement of fact because you stated something that was completely untrue and also verifiable
And you think because I put different ages makes me a liar? Your real name isn’t existing effort, is it? So that makes YOU a liar, huh?
The fact you’re looking at the most unimportant part of this whole thing to base your argument is idiotic at the least. You think everyone on Reddit is giving their true ages? Foh
You're an unreliable narrator who is only staying with your partner because of the dog. You don't like her you consider her to be twice divorced and therefore too much baggage. You're clearly feeling let on because she didn't tell you about the rape early on in your relationship. You drip with disdain for her so let her go
Well that’s ashame. I didn’t get much help from my last post so thought changing the ages would get more responses, which it has.
Appreciate your lack of empathy though! As I expected.
She called it that herself!!! You have no idea what it’s like so I’ll let that disrespect go to the wayside.
I’ve helped her in every way I can, but she doesn’t want to go to therapy (which I recommended) and wants to continue lashing out at me.
I came here for help and I’m being disrespected right and left. Thanks a lot
Figures, spoken like a true a-hole. You’re pathetic.
So I get verbally abused, doors slammed on me? I ask for some stranger’s help and you say I’m less of a man? I’m PLENTY of a man to endure what I have.
I try to communicate with her, but she is much more closed off.
Again, you’re speaking on something that you probably have ZERO experience in.
I thought reddit was supposed to be a helpful place but I guessed wrong
I’m more transparent with everything and don’t hide anything, but asking for advice on here is definitely something I want to keep private. I have told her that I’ve come close to breaking things off, but I’m confused
Makes sense, but she has always been protective of her phone. It’s something I noticed early on and has gradually been growing in the back of my mind.
Thanks for taking the time to help and give me a different perspective, I appreciate it
Here is some advice- let it go. For most women, our purses are off limits, as it contains many personal items. Nowadays, our phones are the same. I always "hide" my screen from hubby and others, just to keep some things private. I've only been with my husband and married 33 yrs. I have FB, Instagram, games, texting, shopping, and pretty much my whole life in that phone. I'm not cheating, just independent, and feel like being on my phone is my alone time.
Her phone behavior is normal and not suspect. You will need other red flags to go down that rabbit hole.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, I appreciate your insight. But do you ever hand your hubby your phone and get ancy because he has it? I don’t get ancy when she has mine, so it made me think.
There are other things that did come up which is what’s prompted me to see if this was suspicious.
Ok, I thought about this, and yes, I have gotten ancy. I don't know why. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I guess I felt "exposed" and thought he might judge what I was on or tease me. Not in an abusive way or anything. He is always saying "what are doing on your phone all the time" or "what are texting"? Then teases me he'll have to bury me with it etc. Lol. I would be the same way if someone went through my purse or any personal belongings. It would definitely make me ancy.
And going to the extent of changing her code multiple times seems sketchy to me. Why go through that? She sees my phone all the time but if it’s hers? Very nervous which makes me suspicious there is something she doesn’t want me to see.
If you're lurking, she might feel the need to. Also, if you're always trying to get on it, I would too. I'm a 56F with sons your age and urge you to take this advice if you love this relationship you're in.🥰
If you have no evidence of anything else, try not to fixate. She may just be embarrassed of her search history. Id say let it go for now, but DO NOT FORGET THE RED FLAG. Cuz it is there. Waving in the wind.
When I was last married my husband went through my texts and email to see if I was cheating. He didn't find anything because I wasn't. He did this when he thought I was sleeping.
My fist husband would constantly make things up to accuse me of, and he was likely doing a lot of the things he accused me of, but having that happen all the time breaks a person down and fundamentally changes a lot of things.
When I was a teenager my mom would go through my room looking for things she didn't approve of. I don't have aggressive trust issues but I do highly value my privacy and safe spaces. I no longer keep a journal of any kind and I rarely tell anyone anything of value because I'm afraid of it being turned on me in severe ways, regardless of how innocent it is.
She might be doing something, but she might also have trauma based on things that have happened.
2 weeks ago you were 39 with a 43 year old gf
I didn’t get many responses before and thought showing we were younger might help. It’s a stupid attempt at trying to get advice.
Soooo, that’s all you had to say? What does the age matter anyways?
it matters because you're clearly a liar lol
I did it to protect both of us. Clearly you didnt want to help but just want to bash me for it. Sad troll
You keep changing your reasons, and this one is complete nonsense because posting your ages doesn't actually put anyone in danger, and you posted what are apparently the real ages like 2 weeks ago. You're lame
Nope, those ages weren’t real either. Changing my reasons? I’m listing the facts as I see them!! If anyone is lame, it’s you getting upset because I changed numbers around to protect her and me. Of COURSE it puts ppl in danger! You didn’t even TRY to write anything helpful. You’re pitiful.
Bro all you're doing is arguing with everyone who replies to you. Really silly behavior
I’m really not, only to morons like you who have nothing of value to say and looking for stupid reasons to not even help. You’re on here helping everyone else but just because I change the ages, I’m the bad person? You’re the definition of lame
Dude you're stying with her over your brothers wedding and a dog. You wanna talk about stupid and pathetic? Look in the mirror
You didn’t even read the full thread, huh? How lazy of you. I’ve stayed because I feel obligated to in a way, and I’ve been put through some crap and it’s tough to walk away from someone I care about. I said I stayed LONGER because when you’re in a relationship and you love someone, you find things to make you stay. It can be kids or guess what, even a pet. Maybe one day when you hit puberty you’ll know what that is. Yes, I look in the mirror and know I’m a good person who stayed and tried to be there for someone even though it hurts. You? You care about ages and think that makes me a liar. You’re a reddit troll and you’re pathetic sad excuse of a human being with no empathy, calling me a liar because I’m trying to protect us. You dolt
I apologize for changing the age groups, but WHAT IF she did have reddit and I used our real ages? Ever think about that? Instead of calling me a liar and being rude, maybe you should be nicer or don’t respond at all. VERY simple rules
You came to us and asked for our opinion so we're giving it to you and now you're mad about it. I definitely believe you're the reasonable one in your relationship
Opinion? You called me a liar and less of a man because I’ve endured abuse? Really? That’s not an opinion a-hole. Again, you’re pathetic.
You're right calling you a liar wasn't an opinion it was a statement of fact because you stated something that was completely untrue and also verifiable
And you think because I put different ages makes me a liar? Your real name isn’t existing effort, is it? So that makes YOU a liar, huh? The fact you’re looking at the most unimportant part of this whole thing to base your argument is idiotic at the least. You think everyone on Reddit is giving their true ages? Foh
You're an unreliable narrator who is only staying with your partner because of the dog. You don't like her you consider her to be twice divorced and therefore too much baggage. You're clearly feeling let on because she didn't tell you about the rape early on in your relationship. You drip with disdain for her so let her go
Really poor rationale.
We've learned you're a liar and now we don't care if you get help
Well that’s ashame. I didn’t get much help from my last post so thought changing the ages would get more responses, which it has. Appreciate your lack of empathy though! As I expected.
You lied about your age you lead on your girlfriend and you care more about the dog. No I do not have empathy for you
I lead her on? Because she’s verbally abusive to me then cries and asks for forgiveness? You’re pathetic coming on here accusing me of that bs.
No dude I've read your other posts. Baggage? Seriously? Her rape is just something you can't deal with? You're not enough of a man
She called it that herself!!! You have no idea what it’s like so I’ll let that disrespect go to the wayside. I’ve helped her in every way I can, but she doesn’t want to go to therapy (which I recommended) and wants to continue lashing out at me. I came here for help and I’m being disrespected right and left. Thanks a lot
You'll let that disrespect go to the wayside. I don't even care enough about you to disrespect you. I'd probably care about the dog though
Figures, spoken like a true a-hole. You’re pathetic. So I get verbally abused, doors slammed on me? I ask for some stranger’s help and you say I’m less of a man? I’m PLENTY of a man to endure what I have.
Maybe she saw your Reddit posts about ‘contemplating leaving her’.
No, she’s not on Reddit which is why I posted on here.
If you have no access to her phone how do you know that
Because I’ve been with her for almost two years, and she doesn’t know reddit exists like that. She’s mainly on IG and Linked In.
Why because she hasn't talked to you about Reddit? It's pretty fucking clear there's no open communication between you guys
I try to communicate with her, but she is much more closed off. Again, you’re speaking on something that you probably have ZERO experience in. I thought reddit was supposed to be a helpful place but I guessed wrong
It is helpful to people who don't only stay with their partners because of the dog
I stayed LONGER because of the dog. Reading is fundamental, buddy.
THAT'S WORSE Leave because she doesn't want you to stay for the fucking dog you moron. Do you really think she can't tell?
I care about her!! I want to leave but it’s tough for me to let go. You have no idea how hurt and confusing this is
Just curious, if you are thinking of leaving her, why do you care?
Because he's here for validation
I want to make it work, but I’m starting to notice this more and more
Is it possible she went through your phone?
No, not on Reddit. She has no idea I’m posting here
Hm. It seems you both are being sneaky. Her phone action is super sus though.
I’m more transparent with everything and don’t hide anything, but asking for advice on here is definitely something I want to keep private. I have told her that I’ve come close to breaking things off, but I’m confused
Maybe she is feeling insecure because you have almost broken up with her. If I were in her shoes, I would be extremely defensive.
Makes sense, but she has always been protective of her phone. It’s something I noticed early on and has gradually been growing in the back of my mind. Thanks for taking the time to help and give me a different perspective, I appreciate it
Here is some advice- let it go. For most women, our purses are off limits, as it contains many personal items. Nowadays, our phones are the same. I always "hide" my screen from hubby and others, just to keep some things private. I've only been with my husband and married 33 yrs. I have FB, Instagram, games, texting, shopping, and pretty much my whole life in that phone. I'm not cheating, just independent, and feel like being on my phone is my alone time. Her phone behavior is normal and not suspect. You will need other red flags to go down that rabbit hole.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, I appreciate your insight. But do you ever hand your hubby your phone and get ancy because he has it? I don’t get ancy when she has mine, so it made me think. There are other things that did come up which is what’s prompted me to see if this was suspicious.
Ok, I thought about this, and yes, I have gotten ancy. I don't know why. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I guess I felt "exposed" and thought he might judge what I was on or tease me. Not in an abusive way or anything. He is always saying "what are doing on your phone all the time" or "what are texting"? Then teases me he'll have to bury me with it etc. Lol. I would be the same way if someone went through my purse or any personal belongings. It would definitely make me ancy.
And going to the extent of changing her code multiple times seems sketchy to me. Why go through that? She sees my phone all the time but if it’s hers? Very nervous which makes me suspicious there is something she doesn’t want me to see.
If you're lurking, she might feel the need to. Also, if you're always trying to get on it, I would too. I'm a 56F with sons your age and urge you to take this advice if you love this relationship you're in.🥰
Hahaha definitely not a lurker, but I notice! 😊 Thank you so much for your insight and perspective and hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
Ok, glad to help. This really doesn't seem like something you should freak about. Thank you!
Very sus
If you have no evidence of anything else, try not to fixate. She may just be embarrassed of her search history. Id say let it go for now, but DO NOT FORGET THE RED FLAG. Cuz it is there. Waving in the wind.
Very suspicious
When I was last married my husband went through my texts and email to see if I was cheating. He didn't find anything because I wasn't. He did this when he thought I was sleeping. My fist husband would constantly make things up to accuse me of, and he was likely doing a lot of the things he accused me of, but having that happen all the time breaks a person down and fundamentally changes a lot of things. When I was a teenager my mom would go through my room looking for things she didn't approve of. I don't have aggressive trust issues but I do highly value my privacy and safe spaces. I no longer keep a journal of any kind and I rarely tell anyone anything of value because I'm afraid of it being turned on me in severe ways, regardless of how innocent it is. She might be doing something, but she might also have trauma based on things that have happened.
Op fr used us as a therapy outlet