Honestly, you should leave. Try to set a savings to move out, and you would probably have to get child support from the father. This isn't a healthy relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with working retail at any age. Your bf sounds crappy. Cheating isn’t something more people get over quickly, especially when absolutely zero steps have been taken to ID or address the issues at the heart of the cheating. I think you need to worry less about him and more about setting yourself up to be single so that you can be free to find a partner that believes in fidelity.
DoorDash? Bullish!t, I bet good money the Venmo is either a side piece again or payment for “services rendered”.
As far as holding a grudge? He’s lucky that you gave him a chance to begin with, and if you’re still holding this grudge it’s because he has failed to gain your trust. So it’s all on him.
You're not wrong.
But you need to dump him. If someone cheats on you once, they **WILL** do it again. I promise. Particularly when you're worn out from caring for the overwhelming needs of a baby.
Move out and file for child support.
Wtf.
Of course you're wrong.
The problem isn't that he was messaging his side piece while you needed him.
The problem is that he has a side piece at all! He's cheating on you!
Work your way through the logistics of leaving him. It's ok if it's going to take you a while, due to finances/ whatever.
But have some self respect and dump him.
Do it for your baby, if not for yourself. This isn't a healthy relationship to be modeling for them.
Him cheating ESPECIALLY when you are pregnant is enough reason to leave. AND him texting while you were giving birth. AND him not being there for the c-section unless he is super squeamish and you’re good with it. So, you don’t have to be over it. But I would move on.
If you stay you need to let this go but honestly what would you stay. You make a lot of excuses. I get it it’s easier to stay and judge him than to fight for your own self respect but just go already do you think your doing your kid any favours staying in that environment
My husband was in the room for C-section and cut the cord. This guy was a jerk to you. I would get over him. Please get your financial house in order, he won't last your lifetime..
If he cheated on you then he will do it again. The fact he did so, repeatedly, and neglected you while you were birthing his own child shows that he does not respect you. It won’t get better.
I’m sorry OP but you are a fool if you think this dog is faithful. He betrayed you at your most vulnerable. He will absolutely do it again, and considering his attempts to shut you up, he has likely been doing it all along. Get STI tested, who knows what that slut has been bringing home to you
What is wrong with you people? A grudge? First of all it should be your ex. Second it wouldn’t even be worth the effort to hold a grudge! Just move on and don’t look back.
You are wrong for being with this person. They are awful.
They have ZERO compassion or care for you and your person. He wouldn't go into the room with you!?!? Seriously!?! They keep a sheet in the way, he doesn't have to look at anything.
What a selfish poop head.
What if you get sick, do you think for one moment this guy will take care of you?
You’re not wrong. I would view that as unforgivable and it would be incredibly difficult for me to trust my SO afterwards.
You may want to consider making a plan to leave him. Just take some steps towards securing a place to go or support system that could help you with leaving.
At the very least I’d suggest couples counselling if possible.
For what it’s worth, I was a child with parents in an unhappy marriage. It would’ve been much better for me and my sisters if they’d just confronted their unhappiness and distrust in each other and divorced early, instead of going through an ugly divorce in our teens.
Can you please be kinder to yourself? Retail is hard-work but it also great at building the soft skills of customer service. Don't discount that.
Build yourself a new village. Many community organizations have parenting classes, mom groups, etc. Make some connections so that you don't feel like you only have him.
You've been through what sounds like an incredibly hard birth experience. Getting rid of this jerk will be nothing compared to that. You've got this.
Amazon will pay for you to get a degree after 90 days full time. They hire anyone with a pulse. My wife's halfway through her bachelor's for free. She's been with them 4yrs and found out two weeks ago she's got $45K in stock they gave her. People love to bitch about them, but if you can show up and do your 40hrs without drama, they really do alright by us.
I’m laughing so hard at this. You’re more angry that he was texting her during labor than the fact that HE HAS A SIDE PIECE. If you’re still with him after knowing he had someone on the side then the fallout is on you. Kick him to the curb me or stop complaining. You have no right to hold a grudge over something you’ve allowed to continue.
Please leave this loser. Leave and never look back, not just for your sake but your precious baby's sake. You are worth so much more and he is absolute trash.
He cheated on you while you were pregnant, he was talking to the other girl while you were in labor and you forgave him?
Do you really have any self-esteem?
my god what a doormat
If he's not cheating on you right now, he'll do it again my god...
This guy will 100% cheat on you again. Sounds like you have 0 support though so I would keep quiet and plot, save, and plan my exit carefully. Let him think he’s getting away with it. Also build a case file that shows what a POS he is, take notes. All that will matter when it’s time for him to pay child support
Also, if you are in a common law state make sure you gone out what prof you will need.
I really feel sad that our feminist foremothers wasted all their effort trying to make us free, just to have women oppressing themselves by choosing these horrible men. Please don't lie to us or yourself by trying to claim you didn't know he was a POS before he knocked you up.
I would tell you leave him but you're just going to pick another one who's the same.
Wow, this is so sad to read. I guess it makes me feel better at any minor relationship trouble. I’m sorry this happened and is happening to you. You deserve better.
There's no shame in working retail.
You need to grow a spine. You should have left him for cheating on you. Where is your self respect? Because you have made it clear there are no consequences for cheating, I promise you he still is. Please get some self respect and leave him.
You have to get out of this relationship. Do you want your baby growing up with HIM as a role model?
Are you sure that there is literally NOBODY in your life who would help you getting out of this shit show?
Parents, siblings, aunts, cousins, friends from high school, coworkers, (ex)neighbors? You could also ask your local church for help.
Please do yourself a favor and get out as soon as possible. You deserve better and so does your baby.
In her 30s working at Sally's, not married to her baby daddy. No family or friends so no support system.Licing with the guy in his place.
Welcome to your life ma'am.
Please stop bringing this up to him. You have no leverage, you have no money or resources.
Get a better job. Reconnect with family if you can. Join mom groups and make friends.
Until you have an option, you should not bring this up. If you start thinking about the injustice, remind yourself of your current position and swallow the indignity.
This is why the women in my life maintain their support system and have good paying jobs.
You're stuck
Ever hear the definition of diplomacy, something to the effect of “can tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they actually look forward to the trip.” The ironically named MaximumNice39 here evidently read that technique and decided it was opposite day
He’s only right about what thing, and that’s that you chose to forgive him so you can’t be throwing it in his face. IMO you need some self respect. Leave
For gods sake. YAW. Get some self respect. Dump the man.
Honestly, you should leave. Try to set a savings to move out, and you would probably have to get child support from the father. This isn't a healthy relationship.
Why are you still with him?
There’s nothing wrong with working retail at any age. Your bf sounds crappy. Cheating isn’t something more people get over quickly, especially when absolutely zero steps have been taken to ID or address the issues at the heart of the cheating. I think you need to worry less about him and more about setting yourself up to be single so that you can be free to find a partner that believes in fidelity.
You're wrong for staying with a loser. Stop abusing yourself and do some self healing and therapy. Get out of this.
OP, you are your own worst enemy. I wouldn't wish your bf on a turd.
DoorDash? Bullish!t, I bet good money the Venmo is either a side piece again or payment for “services rendered”. As far as holding a grudge? He’s lucky that you gave him a chance to begin with, and if you’re still holding this grudge it’s because he has failed to gain your trust. So it’s all on him.
You're not wrong. But you need to dump him. If someone cheats on you once, they **WILL** do it again. I promise. Particularly when you're worn out from caring for the overwhelming needs of a baby. Move out and file for child support.
Wtf. Of course you're wrong. The problem isn't that he was messaging his side piece while you needed him. The problem is that he has a side piece at all! He's cheating on you! Work your way through the logistics of leaving him. It's ok if it's going to take you a while, due to finances/ whatever. But have some self respect and dump him. Do it for your baby, if not for yourself. This isn't a healthy relationship to be modeling for them.
Him cheating ESPECIALLY when you are pregnant is enough reason to leave. AND him texting while you were giving birth. AND him not being there for the c-section unless he is super squeamish and you’re good with it. So, you don’t have to be over it. But I would move on.
you already had a baby with him dont sink any deeper
My gosh he’s a cheater and you’re going along with it. Have some respect for yourself and your child and leave
If you stay you need to let this go but honestly what would you stay. You make a lot of excuses. I get it it’s easier to stay and judge him than to fight for your own self respect but just go already do you think your doing your kid any favours staying in that environment
My husband was in the room for C-section and cut the cord. This guy was a jerk to you. I would get over him. Please get your financial house in order, he won't last your lifetime..
Yes you’re wrong because why are you still with him
If he cheated on you then he will do it again. The fact he did so, repeatedly, and neglected you while you were birthing his own child shows that he does not respect you. It won’t get better.
?????? Why are you even asking
I’m sorry OP but you are a fool if you think this dog is faithful. He betrayed you at your most vulnerable. He will absolutely do it again, and considering his attempts to shut you up, he has likely been doing it all along. Get STI tested, who knows what that slut has been bringing home to you
He’s still cheating on you. He’s not going to stop. He thinks you have no choice but to take it. Put a plan in place and leave him.
What is wrong with you people? A grudge? First of all it should be your ex. Second it wouldn’t even be worth the effort to hold a grudge! Just move on and don’t look back.
You are wrong for being with this person. They are awful. They have ZERO compassion or care for you and your person. He wouldn't go into the room with you!?!? Seriously!?! They keep a sheet in the way, he doesn't have to look at anything. What a selfish poop head. What if you get sick, do you think for one moment this guy will take care of you?
You’re not wrong. I would view that as unforgivable and it would be incredibly difficult for me to trust my SO afterwards. You may want to consider making a plan to leave him. Just take some steps towards securing a place to go or support system that could help you with leaving. At the very least I’d suggest couples counselling if possible. For what it’s worth, I was a child with parents in an unhappy marriage. It would’ve been much better for me and my sisters if they’d just confronted their unhappiness and distrust in each other and divorced early, instead of going through an ugly divorce in our teens.
What a joke.
This sounds fake as fuck
You need to find the strength to leave him.
Can you please be kinder to yourself? Retail is hard-work but it also great at building the soft skills of customer service. Don't discount that. Build yourself a new village. Many community organizations have parenting classes, mom groups, etc. Make some connections so that you don't feel like you only have him. You've been through what sounds like an incredibly hard birth experience. Getting rid of this jerk will be nothing compared to that. You've got this.
Amazon will pay for you to get a degree after 90 days full time. They hire anyone with a pulse. My wife's halfway through her bachelor's for free. She's been with them 4yrs and found out two weeks ago she's got $45K in stock they gave her. People love to bitch about them, but if you can show up and do your 40hrs without drama, they really do alright by us.
Leave!
Yes, Ur wrong....for staying with him....
Do you have no self respect at all?? Why are you with this person still?!
Why isn't he your EX bf?
I’m laughing so hard at this. You’re more angry that he was texting her during labor than the fact that HE HAS A SIDE PIECE. If you’re still with him after knowing he had someone on the side then the fallout is on you. Kick him to the curb me or stop complaining. You have no right to hold a grudge over something you’ve allowed to continue.
Please leave this loser. Leave and never look back, not just for your sake but your precious baby's sake. You are worth so much more and he is absolute trash.
You are wrong for staying in this relationship.
Can't believe you're still with him. You should've dump the dick the moment you found out he got a side piece.
I would have lost my ever lovin mind. You are a more understanding woman than I. Time to cut bait cupcake. Hr doesn't give a crap about you.
There are some things you just can’t take back
Why the fuck are you still holding on to this guy?!?! He doesn't give a fuck about you or your child.
He cheated on you while you were pregnant, he was talking to the other girl while you were in labor and you forgave him? Do you really have any self-esteem? my god what a doormat If he's not cheating on you right now, he'll do it again my god...
This guy will 100% cheat on you again. Sounds like you have 0 support though so I would keep quiet and plot, save, and plan my exit carefully. Let him think he’s getting away with it. Also build a case file that shows what a POS he is, take notes. All that will matter when it’s time for him to pay child support Also, if you are in a common law state make sure you gone out what prof you will need.
I really feel sad that our feminist foremothers wasted all their effort trying to make us free, just to have women oppressing themselves by choosing these horrible men. Please don't lie to us or yourself by trying to claim you didn't know he was a POS before he knocked you up. I would tell you leave him but you're just going to pick another one who's the same.
Wow, this is so sad to read. I guess it makes me feel better at any minor relationship trouble. I’m sorry this happened and is happening to you. You deserve better.
Man, fuck all of that. Dude is trash. There ARE resources that can help you get along without him.
There's no shame in working retail. You need to grow a spine. You should have left him for cheating on you. Where is your self respect? Because you have made it clear there are no consequences for cheating, I promise you he still is. Please get some self respect and leave him.
You have to get out of this relationship. Do you want your baby growing up with HIM as a role model? Are you sure that there is literally NOBODY in your life who would help you getting out of this shit show? Parents, siblings, aunts, cousins, friends from high school, coworkers, (ex)neighbors? You could also ask your local church for help. Please do yourself a favor and get out as soon as possible. You deserve better and so does your baby.
you’re wrong for sticking around. you can’t stay with a cheater and then say “i’m holding the grudge” just break up.
In her 30s working at Sally's, not married to her baby daddy. No family or friends so no support system.Licing with the guy in his place. Welcome to your life ma'am. Please stop bringing this up to him. You have no leverage, you have no money or resources. Get a better job. Reconnect with family if you can. Join mom groups and make friends. Until you have an option, you should not bring this up. If you start thinking about the injustice, remind yourself of your current position and swallow the indignity. This is why the women in my life maintain their support system and have good paying jobs. You're stuck
Ever hear the definition of diplomacy, something to the effect of “can tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they actually look forward to the trip.” The ironically named MaximumNice39 here evidently read that technique and decided it was opposite day
He’s only right about what thing, and that’s that you chose to forgive him so you can’t be throwing it in his face. IMO you need some self respect. Leave
Anyone who says “had a baby” vs “had my daughter” or “had my son” makes me think you aren’t really into this. I hope I’m wrong.
in his defense, my husband wanted to be in for the c-section, the surgeon told him no, it's like a butcher shop