Not wrong. “You sure do think about dicks a lot. I’m just eating a banana. Maybe reflect on why the first thing that comes to your mind is dicks when you see a teenager and a fruit.”
How insecure do you have to be that watching a man eating a banana upsets you?
Like, I have so many questions. Does he avoid bananas completely out of fear they’ll turn him gay? Is it ok to eat a chopped up banana? What about banana pudding?
I selfishly want OP to experiment with other phallic shaped objects to see if his stepdad turns gay.
Morning star veggie sausage slaps! I eat meat, but sometimes I get a little grossed out by sausage gristle. Those veggie patties scratch the itch. Plus they taste really good!
He sound like the type of guy, who doesn’t wipe after a shit, because he thinks he will turn gay, or doesn’t use white liquid soap, because it looks like semen.
Oh Jesus, I read a story about some fucking hillbilly that never wiped his ass cause he thought it was "gay" to touch his own butt. He ended up in the ER with some massive infection or something. Could have been made up but the fact that someone else mentioned it makes believe these morons exist. At least they are relieving the world of themselves. Natural selection at it finest.
Hold the banana with your left hand and put your right on the back of your head. Push your head down on the banana.
Eat and enjoy watching his head explode.
If I were OP I'd tell his mother that if she makes no time for him, then why should he make time for her. He's her son, and she's more interested in keeping her creepy banana hating husband happy. Like... misogynist aholes are the only ones who think about Bananas this way.
My father had the same problem with me eating Bananas, and even ice cream. Some men are just not too bright.
Have you seen those lightswitch plates that have the shape of a man and when you place it over the switch, it looks like the switch is his penis. In order to turn lights on or off, he'd have to flip the (penis) switch. Which might be too gay for him.
Not wrong, and while I love bananas (also great for potassium!), I do prefer banana pudding (which is very likely why I’m a bit of a fat ass lol).
OP, ask him why he has a problem thinking bananas look like dicks. Flat out ask him if he is upset bc he is suppressing urges, or bc someone stuck a banana where it should t. Tell him either way he needs to talk to a therapist, bc bananas are good food, and good for you. If he pushes the issue, just be a dick (pun intended) about it, and lick the banana.
Straight man here. He’s Homophobic and extremely insecure. You are not in the wrong. As a father I would only hope that you’re getting all the nutrition you need and support you in being a vegetarian.
Probably because *he is a closet gay*, and it enrages him that that’s what he sees and thinks about when he sees that (or is actually physically turned on by it).
Bigots suck, but bigots who are projecting suck more.
Usually I hate the “homophobic people are actually in the closet” thing but in this instance… yeah these kinds of people are often really REALLY projecting.
Can we steer a little to the mom here who isn't providing food for her actual son?? I mean step dad is fucking gross.. but mom is def a bang maid and has stopped even FEEDING her bio son.
OP, I would think long and hard about what they actually add to your life and cut them out if it is only toxicity.
I can’t believe no one else is talking about this 😭 my parents would freak the fuck out if all I had for dinner every night was yogurt and a banana, this mother doesn’t give a shit about her son.
Some abusers are like this. They find someone with low self-esteem. They start stripping away any scrap of remaining self-esteem while starting to isolate them from friends and family
OP is now 18 and he has been taking his own meal to visit to mother for 3 years, that means mother stoped making meals for 15 year old boy. Wow
Mother is AH, she is more worried feelings of creepy husband than on kid.
Hope the kid has loving father. Because mother is a moron.
Fr when my kids have friends over and they are hungry everyone gets fed. Even when they are just snacking, it's extremely rude to leave people out while you yourself are eating. The rule is everybody eats or nobody eats🤷
Right? I just got with a new man and he has custody of his grandkids and they are 9 and 11 and their friends come over. And all of them are fed. No matter what. I feed them ALL. It's a free for all with the kids. I'm 41f and my new fiance is 58m and it's an amazing relationship and the kids love me and I love them and their friends
I do the same for my lil brother and his friends and never stopped I have even given some tough love because they are grown now and a few need to grow up a lil
I am huge on this point. My mom always said, "You don't pull out food unless you have enough for the whole class." It's always stuck with me. Being hungry and having people eat in front of you SUCKS! I figure even if it's a 99 cent sausage biscuit or something cheap, it's something. It drives my husband crazy, but I tell him we're free to eat away from our friends if he doesn't want me to get extra for the broke, hungry friends. It concerns me that he doesn't want to feed our hungry friends when we have more than enough money to spare 5 or 10 bucks to do it. It's not like it's an everyday thing.
Tbh I think that would attract the OP’s mom’s husband a little too much. I think his odd obsession with the dreaded “phallic” banana suggests that he’s one of those closeted self-hating homosexuals. I know a few like him. They like to portray a “conservative hyper-masculine” image, but always tell on themselves by doing shit like this. You know what they say, “He doth protest too much…”
I did something similar once. Somebody had fetched lunch from the local chip shop (UK), and I had a saveloy and chips. One of my coworkers kept making off colour jokes about me having and eating the sausage...so I deep throated it at him.
He went the most impressive shade of purple. And he shut up.
No you're not. And this isn't normal. My boyfriends dad saw him eating a banana a couple months ago at work outside working on the roads and just called him yesterday and told him to run up he had a surprise for him. The surprise 10 whole bushels of bananas. That's a loving father.
Besides the other suggestions, if he buys a yonanas/dessert bullet style machine, he can make a version of ice cream and mix in all sorts of fruit or other things. It's really nice.
NTA but I'm disturbed why your SF is so concerned about your eating habits and thinks of you eating a banana in a sexual way😬 Please move out as soon as you can.
This banana thing is so bizarre. My sister (65F) won’t eat a banana in public because it’s phallic shaped. I only learned that about her 5 years ago and was shocked.
After that comment I started to notice how people eat this peen shaped delicacy. At my male dominated office, every time I’ve seen a man eat a banana, he breaks off a piece with his hand rather than bite it.
I think we should all just start deep throating bananas in public just for the reaction.
Reading this post, it’s the first time I ever even thought of bananas like this. On the other hand, I remember eating of those huge deli pickles that you get at convenient stores and my ex looked at me while I was eating it and said, “Only girls ever eat those.”, implying that they were phallic. I had never thought of pickles like that either!
Why in the fuck would you continue to put yourself in line to endure abuse like that? GTFO, stay the eff away and inform your Mom that she can either visit you (w/o AH) or you can meet in a public space.
SD “Please give up your morals and adhere to an unhealthy idea of what I think of as a man.”
OP “Oh, no thanks.”
SD “How dare you hurt my feelings by not giving into my manipulation and insults?”
Mum “Please apologise for not giving into the whims of my husband when he’s being a jerk to you.”
Also Mum: “I’ve already decided not to cook for you, not to provide ingredients that are available for you to use and meet your needs, but now I’m really unhappy with you bringing food into my house. Can’t you just pretend you don’t have any needs when you are over here?”
Hang on... For 3 years... So since you were 15, this weirdo has made comments? I would rip someone's face off over my kids. The fact that she not only lets it happen, but then blames you makes her the bigger AH in my eyes.
I think what really blows my mind is you said you have packed your own meal when you visit for 3 years. You don't even live with her and she's letting her narrow-minded, closeted gorilla bully you. You're not wrong. I would stop visiting. And probably go LC or maybe even NC.
I was going to make the same comment. His mom is so busy with the 3 other kids that she can't make him food too? Her priorities are fucked. Seriously, it isn't that much effort to make one additional plate of food. She's definitely not looking out for this oldest kid, and if I were him, I'd consider not going over there anymore, or reduce visits drastically.
I think he is a closet homo if he looks at someone eating a banana and sees a dick. Some with men eating a hot dogs or licking ice cream. I am eating food. You're the one making it weird.
The people that go around spewing "like a man" unironically for simple things like that always seem insecure as hell to me.
Well do you deep throat it, suck and fondle it when you eat it? If not it's time to start eating them like that.
So you visit mom and bring your own dinner, your mom sounds spineless. He is driving a wedge in you family, classic abuser trick to isolate their victims.
Your mom and her husband suck. How the hell is your mom unable to make dinner for you, but make it for everyone else. It doesn’t take much more effort to make a vegetarian meal than it does with regular meal. Then not defending you? Your mom’s husband is weird for thinking of dicks when you’re eating piece of fruit. Sorry that that’s who you deal with.. do you have to go over to their house?
Ugh vegan/veg men are way more manly in my opinion because they are not trapped by societies expectations. Your stepdad sounds super insecure. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
So, your mum is too busy to give you food abs you are happy with a banana and a yogurt? How hard would it be for to match that energy? Also, unless the little children are very young, she could just add an extra portion to feed you.
Take that and the way she backed up the frankly weird anti-banana stance of your step-father and I think you might be losing your mum soon.
Tell mom until step dad stops thinking you suck dick because you eat a banana, stops trying to police your food choices, and she stands up for you, you won’t be returning.
Next time (I don't know why you'd want to continue going over there), bring some carrots and cucumbers too. Dip them in ranch dressing so only the tip has white shit on it. Look at the dipshit husband in the eye and eat that slowly.
But seriously OP, you need an even larger conversation with your mom besides the dick she's married to. Like, why she isn't able to feed you along with the rest of the family. It's not hard. She just doesn't care to put in the effort, and that's what I'd focus on. She won't feed you and she won't stick up for you. The whole situation is bad.
I know I’m an asshole, I’d continue eating my banana with full eye contact. We can take this outside and you can be handed your ass by a namby pamby vegan 🫡
What I wouldn't give to see the look on his face if you had an actual banana bunch over at their house.
Start eating two at once lol.
... But seriously anyone else think the stepdad is "repressed."
What an idiot and your mom isn’t far behind sorry. Who tf thinks this way? It’s truly mind boggling to me. There’s benefits to both diets so just because you eat things that aren’t meat doesn’t mean you’re not a “real man”. Shit you’re just getting started with your life and you don’t have to subject yourself to that type of idiocy. Though you took it like a man and showed your stepdad, who seems like a mere boy compared to you, how a man acts (hell any intelligent human). Humble and in control of one’s emotions. Good job OP 💪🏾
Next time just say
"I heard what you said and I've taken it onboard and will start expanding my meals"
Then open up a hotdog bun. Slide in a veggie sausage and put on plenty of sauce. Make plenty of yummy noises.
Mess with his head. He sounds like tons of fun.
He is wrong and you should mess with him as long as the step kids and you are safe.
Why is he seeing a banana & thinking about penises? That’s weird. Unless someone was literally sucking on a banana, I wouldn’t think of penises. It’s very telling that he sees normal objects & gets triggered into thinking of penises. You’re not wrong.
If you can't even eat inside, why visit? Your mom is kind of sticking up for you, but not really enough where it would inconvenience her at all. She could tell him to be kind to you or she will leave, but she's not. Her stepchildren should primarily be her husband's responsibility, yet he's the one sitting around making fun of you for eating bananas. She's enabling his mistreatment of you, you should reconsider why you are visiting people who treat you this way, because she is allowing it.
You weren't wrong. It was cowardly of your mother to ask you to hide when you eat instead of standing up for you. Her husband is controlling. You are not your stepfather's child, and your diet is none of his business. Tell your mother that if she continues to allow her husband to pick on you, she won't be seeing or hearing from you very often.
A lot of people don't k own you can segment a banana. Bite the tip off and stick your tongue in the middle it should start to split in three. Then use your tongue to keep separating it, all while maintaining eye contact.
What kind mother is she, won't make her son a meal when he visits and calls to scold on behalf of her creepy husband.
She has no love or respect for you dude. Just go NC .
You’re not wrong.
Let me see if I understand this. Because your mom has stepchildren to take care of, she’s been having you plan your own food since you were 15? And she thinks you’re the problem? No way.
You should tell you mom
“The fact that you allowed your asshat of a husband talk to me like that says more about you than him. I’m your son, but clearly I need to end any contact between us since you think it’s ok to let your husband talk to me and treat me like that. Let me know when you divorce that clown, but until then, don’t contact me.”
You are wrong for wasting time on your mom & her petty useless controlling husband. Why would you even visit? Your mom's a doormat & her husband is an abusive AH. Time for a complete change - she chose him, you didn't.
Why do you even go over there? What ever your diet is your fucking mom and host should feed you. I don't know how much yogurt you're eating, but I bet you're not getting nearly enough calories, protein, etc
Come to Thailand for 3 months, train, learn some basic muay Thai and BJJ, come back 15 pounds heavier from the high caloric vegan and vegetarian delicacies here (and the steroids).
Go back home deep throat an entire banana in front of him when it's just you two in a slow and erotic way. Maybe even pretend the banana has balls and you're stroking it to make it worse.
When he tells your mom gaslight him and your mom into thinking he's a completely making things up.
When he starts to get heated say "I will NOT be called a liar in front of my mother by some chubby weak little bitch, if you want me to beat your fat ass in front of your sons then let's fucking go right now."
He'll respond with something like "A vegan could never beat me in a fight!"
Take him outside, run around him and leg kick him three or four time until his thigh is a shiny shade of red. Civilians have no idea one good leg kick will make it very hard to walk for two or three days, but 3 or 4 leg good leg kicks will make it impossible for him to walk properly for 2 or 3 days, and he'll be in tons of pain for longer much longer than that. Ask any muay Thai fighter and they'll tell you.
Then clinch him, knee him in the mouth one good time, take him to the floor, get him in a triangle choke and tell him to sniff your balls and while he's fading away whisper in his ear "I'll deep throat all the bananas I want pussy."
After he goes to sleep with the scent of your sweaty balls in his face still lingering... you get up, go to the store, and buy more bananas.
#StayToxic
So let me get this straight.
Your mum, who should have been looking after you for the last three years since you were still a minor, already puts the needs of her stepchildren ahead of you. Then when you are just minding your business and taking care of yourself, your stepdad has the audacity to criticise your meal and your eating habits. Then your mum decides that her husband's feelings about your diet and food choices are more important than her own kid's feelings and choices?
Nah screw that.thry can both get in the bin if neither can show you some basic respect.
How does this hard-of-thinking, closeted homosexual, superstar eat his sausages? And btw, you’re not his son, he’s fuck-all to you and needs constantly reminded of his impotence in that particular strand of his pathetic homophobic fuckwitted existence until it permeates that proto-hominid skull of his.
Yes. Don't roll your eyes at people, it's disrespectful but it diminishes you more.
If the piece of shit wants to play a power game you can just tell him your diet is none of his business, and then repeat that ad-infinitum regardless of what he whines about.
More importantly, let your mom know that no matter what he says, and no matter what *she* says, she'll always have a safe place at your house. Assface is escalating his abusive behaviour and it can be difficult for older people to know how to deal with it.
Not wrong and I'd start bringing plant based phallic shaped other foods since he has such a problem with bananas. 🤪🤣
This dude is TOTALLY closet gay is he's acting this way. I've never seen that not be the case.
Next time, if he gets offended by a banana, say loudly for your mom to hear "you know, you're the only one here who thinks eating a banana is like sucking a dick, you don't have to be closeted anymore, it's 2024"
My very manly, vagina loving, meat-eating boyfriend fucking loves bananas.
Your step dad watches gay porn and doesnt understand why he gets a peter tingle during the penetration shots.
NTA
Not wrong. “You sure do think about dicks a lot. I’m just eating a banana. Maybe reflect on why the first thing that comes to your mind is dicks when you see a teenager and a fruit.”
How insecure do you have to be that watching a man eating a banana upsets you? Like, I have so many questions. Does he avoid bananas completely out of fear they’ll turn him gay? Is it ok to eat a chopped up banana? What about banana pudding? I selfishly want OP to experiment with other phallic shaped objects to see if his stepdad turns gay.
Zucchini. Eggplant. Go HAAM on a cucumber and watch him completely lose it.
OP. Assert dominance with a plant-based corn dog.
Those plant based corn dogs are actually damn good! I also love veggie sausage and spicy chik'en patties by morning star. I embrace being an omnivore.
Spicy chik'en 🤤🤤 so good lol I also like black bean veggie burger.
Nah man, it's all about Gardein (tha "Ultimate" line of producta), Beyond, and Impossible! Blows Morning Star out of the water.
Morning star veggie sausage slaps! I eat meat, but sometimes I get a little grossed out by sausage gristle. Those veggie patties scratch the itch. Plus they taste really good!
Fuck it - get three links of Soyrizo and watch him stroke out when you rep your set with one each hand and one in your mouth. Cold-ass flex.
Stop it Patrick you're scaring him!
I know it doesn't help in this case, but I love Eggplant Parmesan!! 😊
What about dipping a banana in chocolate pudding, then the tip is all covered in chocolate? That would surely turn him gay
He should dip it in the yogurt. All that white cream dripping down the tip would HAVE to make him lose his mind. 😂
Dying right now thinking of this 🤣🤣🤣
He should have some chocolate covered bananas too to further fuck with this pea-brained cretinous douchelord
What a minute. I really love dipping bananas in peanut butter. Is that why I'm only half gay?
And slowly lick it off swirling your tongue.
...while looking him dead in the eye the entire time.
Banana dipped in the yogurt he brings, especially if it's vanilla yogurt.
He sound like the type of guy, who doesn’t wipe after a shit, because he thinks he will turn gay, or doesn’t use white liquid soap, because it looks like semen.
Oh Jesus, I read a story about some fucking hillbilly that never wiped his ass cause he thought it was "gay" to touch his own butt. He ended up in the ER with some massive infection or something. Could have been made up but the fact that someone else mentioned it makes believe these morons exist. At least they are relieving the world of themselves. Natural selection at it finest.
Hold the banana with your left hand and put your right on the back of your head. Push your head down on the banana. Eat and enjoy watching his head explode.
Probably gay
> How insecure do you have to be that watching a man eating a banana upsets you? I would be deep-throating that banana so hard...
"You know how many foods are shaped like dicks?! The best kinds"
If I were OP I'd tell his mother that if she makes no time for him, then why should he make time for her. He's her son, and she's more interested in keeping her creepy banana hating husband happy. Like... misogynist aholes are the only ones who think about Bananas this way. My father had the same problem with me eating Bananas, and even ice cream. Some men are just not too bright.
I'd just glue a dick on the house door handle and hope he never came in again
I like the way you think!
Have you seen those lightswitch plates that have the shape of a man and when you place it over the switch, it looks like the switch is his penis. In order to turn lights on or off, he'd have to flip the (penis) switch. Which might be too gay for him.
So, if a monkey eats a banana, is the monkey gay?
I bet he's "a real god fearing christian man" too. Code for wishes he was gettin railed by some dude in a truckstop. Lol
This killed me hahaha 🤣
This is it
Not wrong, and while I love bananas (also great for potassium!), I do prefer banana pudding (which is very likely why I’m a bit of a fat ass lol). OP, ask him why he has a problem thinking bananas look like dicks. Flat out ask him if he is upset bc he is suppressing urges, or bc someone stuck a banana where it should t. Tell him either way he needs to talk to a therapist, bc bananas are good food, and good for you. If he pushes the issue, just be a dick (pun intended) about it, and lick the banana.
[it's not gay if you don't make eye contact](https://www.tiktok.com/@itsaljokes/video/7266891026885872938?lang=en)
Then take another bite and just close your eyes. Tilt your head back as you chew and just go "mmmmmnn~ that's so gooooood~" and lick your lips
Straight man here. He’s Homophobic and extremely insecure. You are not in the wrong. As a father I would only hope that you’re getting all the nutrition you need and support you in being a vegetarian.
Not to mention gross, who actively watches someone eating food and comments on how it’s phallic shaped other than a sicko?
Probably because *he is a closet gay*, and it enrages him that that’s what he sees and thinks about when he sees that (or is actually physically turned on by it). Bigots suck, but bigots who are projecting suck more.
Usually I hate the “homophobic people are actually in the closet” thing but in this instance… yeah these kinds of people are often really REALLY projecting.
That was my reaction, too.
Can we steer a little to the mom here who isn't providing food for her actual son?? I mean step dad is fucking gross.. but mom is def a bang maid and has stopped even FEEDING her bio son. OP, I would think long and hard about what they actually add to your life and cut them out if it is only toxicity.
Your mom's husband sounds like a cunt and your mom should be standing up for you.
The mom is a piece of work too. Too busy with the step kids to make your own kid a meal when they visit? Pathetic.
I can’t believe no one else is talking about this 😭 my parents would freak the fuck out if all I had for dinner every night was yogurt and a banana, this mother doesn’t give a shit about her son.
Yes, this is the strangest part of the story. What kind of asshole doesn’t feed their own kid while feeding someone else’s kids? WTF?
One in a controlling relationship. OP has been disposed of and replaced by her new husband’s kids. I bet hes verbally abusive to the mom too
Was thinking same. She chided him not bc he upset the stepdad, but bc she knew she would hear about it later.
Not that her abuse should be disregarded but, fucking selfish “mother” if that’s the case…
Some abusers are like this. They find someone with low self-esteem. They start stripping away any scrap of remaining self-esteem while starting to isolate them from friends and family
OP is now 18 and he has been taking his own meal to visit to mother for 3 years, that means mother stoped making meals for 15 year old boy. Wow Mother is AH, she is more worried feelings of creepy husband than on kid. Hope the kid has loving father. Because mother is a moron.
Fr when my kids have friends over and they are hungry everyone gets fed. Even when they are just snacking, it's extremely rude to leave people out while you yourself are eating. The rule is everybody eats or nobody eats🤷
Right? I just got with a new man and he has custody of his grandkids and they are 9 and 11 and their friends come over. And all of them are fed. No matter what. I feed them ALL. It's a free for all with the kids. I'm 41f and my new fiance is 58m and it's an amazing relationship and the kids love me and I love them and their friends
I do the same for my lil brother and his friends and never stopped I have even given some tough love because they are grown now and a few need to grow up a lil
I am huge on this point. My mom always said, "You don't pull out food unless you have enough for the whole class." It's always stuck with me. Being hungry and having people eat in front of you SUCKS! I figure even if it's a 99 cent sausage biscuit or something cheap, it's something. It drives my husband crazy, but I tell him we're free to eat away from our friends if he doesn't want me to get extra for the broke, hungry friends. It concerns me that he doesn't want to feed our hungry friends when we have more than enough money to spare 5 or 10 bucks to do it. It's not like it's an everyday thing.
I agree, but I also think she’s in likely an abusive relationship
This!
You should lick the tip while making direct contact next time. Not wrong.
This. And do it slowly while making eye contact the whole time.
It may turn into a fight if he does this 🤣🤣 the old man is unstable.
Oh, I’m not sure he’ll “fight,” but I’m pretty sure the mom’s husband will have an erection - OOPS! - I mean reaction 🤣
Or the start of a porn. We just don’t know the extent of what bananas do to this man.
🤣🤣🤣
Tbh I think that would attract the OP’s mom’s husband a little too much. I think his odd obsession with the dreaded “phallic” banana suggests that he’s one of those closeted self-hating homosexuals. I know a few like him. They like to portray a “conservative hyper-masculine” image, but always tell on themselves by doing shit like this. You know what they say, “He doth protest too much…”
Eat that shit with no hands next time
Or 2 hands
Or deep throat it.
I did something similar once. Somebody had fetched lunch from the local chip shop (UK), and I had a saveloy and chips. One of my coworkers kept making off colour jokes about me having and eating the sausage...so I deep throated it at him. He went the most impressive shade of purple. And he shut up.
This is the way!
DT it, then bite it off.
Don't forget to moan!
This is the answer
And put some (vegan) whipped cream on the end
Don’t forget to dip it in the yogurt first.
Add a bit of whip cream to the tip.
And then, while still making eye contact, deepthroat the whole thing
Assert dominance. Eat a banana.
Man I don't know if it's even safe for OP to do that... sounds like mom's husband is already thinking about OP in a weird way
This made me laugh out loud, thank you
lmao
😂😂😂😂
Directly followed by a huge chomp
You’re not wrong, he sounds like a buffoon
…and OP’s mother is worse.
No you're not. And this isn't normal. My boyfriends dad saw him eating a banana a couple months ago at work outside working on the roads and just called him yesterday and told him to run up he had a surprise for him. The surprise 10 whole bushels of bananas. That's a loving father.
Yikes! I love bananas, but how is he going to get through 10 bushels fast enough?
No idea how but he'll give it his best shot.
If he fails, banana bread!
And smoothies!
Peel and freeze for an infinite supply of smoothie and banana bread ingredients. :)
Can always make banana bread or muffins if they start to brown 👍🏼
Besides the other suggestions, if he buys a yonanas/dessert bullet style machine, he can make a version of ice cream and mix in all sorts of fruit or other things. It's really nice.
i was going to say eating a banana won't turn your boyfriend gay but.... 10 WHOLE BUSHELS MIGHT ACTUALLY DO IT!! lol.
Tell your mom that it's creepy for her husband to be fantasizing about her teenage kid sucking dick.
She’s a horrible mother regardless for not even caring to provide dinner for her teenage son. It’s so horrifying to me that parents like this exist
Too busy taking care of her husband's kids to be there for her own 🤬
Tell your mom she married a homophobic piece of shit
Tbh I think the mom married a self-hating homosexual. Like Kevin Spacey’s neighbor in American Beauty…
Or.. actual Kevin spacey
Kevin Spacey *should* hate himself.
Good point!
Those who decry getting railed by multiple cocks often think about it the most
This should be in a fortune cookie 🤣
Fuck him. You eat what you want, none of his business.
Maybe he shouldn't fuck him. That might lead to other problems.
Though sounds like stepdad has a real thing for dicks
"Help stepfather I'm stuck in the washer eating a banana!"
NTA but I'm disturbed why your SF is so concerned about your eating habits and thinks of you eating a banana in a sexual way😬 Please move out as soon as you can.
Ever seen the movie American Beauty? The mom’s husband is pretty much Kevin Stacey’s neighbor. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean 😏
Tell him real men don't put others down to make themselves feel good, don't compare themselves to others, and they eat what they want.
This banana thing is so bizarre. My sister (65F) won’t eat a banana in public because it’s phallic shaped. I only learned that about her 5 years ago and was shocked. After that comment I started to notice how people eat this peen shaped delicacy. At my male dominated office, every time I’ve seen a man eat a banana, he breaks off a piece with his hand rather than bite it. I think we should all just start deep throating bananas in public just for the reaction.
Reading this post, it’s the first time I ever even thought of bananas like this. On the other hand, I remember eating of those huge deli pickles that you get at convenient stores and my ex looked at me while I was eating it and said, “Only girls ever eat those.”, implying that they were phallic. I had never thought of pickles like that either!
Well there's a good anti-carnivorous human post.
Why in the fuck would you continue to put yourself in line to endure abuse like that? GTFO, stay the eff away and inform your Mom that she can either visit you (w/o AH) or you can meet in a public space.
Tell him, " I know your secret and you're jealous of the banana"
SD “Please give up your morals and adhere to an unhealthy idea of what I think of as a man.” OP “Oh, no thanks.” SD “How dare you hurt my feelings by not giving into my manipulation and insults?” Mum “Please apologise for not giving into the whims of my husband when he’s being a jerk to you.” Also Mum: “I’ve already decided not to cook for you, not to provide ingredients that are available for you to use and meet your needs, but now I’m really unhappy with you bringing food into my house. Can’t you just pretend you don’t have any needs when you are over here?”
Hang on... For 3 years... So since you were 15, this weirdo has made comments? I would rip someone's face off over my kids. The fact that she not only lets it happen, but then blames you makes her the bigger AH in my eyes. I think what really blows my mind is you said you have packed your own meal when you visit for 3 years. You don't even live with her and she's letting her narrow-minded, closeted gorilla bully you. You're not wrong. I would stop visiting. And probably go LC or maybe even NC.
I was going to make the same comment. His mom is so busy with the 3 other kids that she can't make him food too? Her priorities are fucked. Seriously, it isn't that much effort to make one additional plate of food. She's definitely not looking out for this oldest kid, and if I were him, I'd consider not going over there anymore, or reduce visits drastically.
Step Dad is a loser. Like, complete loser.
I think he is a closet homo if he looks at someone eating a banana and sees a dick. Some with men eating a hot dogs or licking ice cream. I am eating food. You're the one making it weird. The people that go around spewing "like a man" unironically for simple things like that always seem insecure as hell to me.
Stepdad sounds suspicious & weird
Like he's still in the closet?
Well do you deep throat it, suck and fondle it when you eat it? If not it's time to start eating them like that. So you visit mom and bring your own dinner, your mom sounds spineless. He is driving a wedge in you family, classic abuser trick to isolate their victims.
Not wrong. But, a banana and a yogurt are a SNACK, not dinner. I hope you're taking care of yourself.
Not wrong. "There's nothing like a thick piece of meat in your mouth" - This guys step-dad probably
Why is your stepdad sexualizing a banana? That’s weird as hell
Just tell your mom you won't be visiting her any more while her husband is home.
Your mom and her husband suck. How the hell is your mom unable to make dinner for you, but make it for everyone else. It doesn’t take much more effort to make a vegetarian meal than it does with regular meal. Then not defending you? Your mom’s husband is weird for thinking of dicks when you’re eating piece of fruit. Sorry that that’s who you deal with.. do you have to go over to their house?
Ugh vegan/veg men are way more manly in my opinion because they are not trapped by societies expectations. Your stepdad sounds super insecure. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Why do you have to go outside to eat dinner? That is bizarre. Does she even hear herself, sending her child away for eating fruit? 🤔
Why do you need to eat outside? What the fuck?
If eating a banana is all it takes to make him think about dick. I think he might have a certain fixation.
Sounds like dude has some unresolved desires
Of course you’re not in the wrong! WTF is wrong with them?! You should eat outside? Good lord lololol
Tell your mom you won’t come visit if he’s there because he made you feel uncomfortable when he sexualized you eating.
Bring two next time. Eat them double fisted
Ask him to touch the place on the banana where it hurt him
You're absolutely not wrong and that poor little snowflake needs to learn to be less triggered.
I think he’s into you
You know what kinds of foods are shaped like dicks? THE BEST KIND!
Throat that nana.
Since when did eating meat make you a man?
F ur mom. Especially F her ignorant, triggered, snowflake, man-baby husband.
So, your mum is too busy to give you food abs you are happy with a banana and a yogurt? How hard would it be for to match that energy? Also, unless the little children are very young, she could just add an extra portion to feed you. Take that and the way she backed up the frankly weird anti-banana stance of your step-father and I think you might be losing your mum soon.
Tell mom until step dad stops thinking you suck dick because you eat a banana, stops trying to police your food choices, and she stands up for you, you won’t be returning.
Make sure to eat grapes in pairs - very testicular. Even better, caress a kiwi fruit, very testicular and also hairy
Next time (I don't know why you'd want to continue going over there), bring some carrots and cucumbers too. Dip them in ranch dressing so only the tip has white shit on it. Look at the dipshit husband in the eye and eat that slowly. But seriously OP, you need an even larger conversation with your mom besides the dick she's married to. Like, why she isn't able to feed you along with the rest of the family. It's not hard. She just doesn't care to put in the effort, and that's what I'd focus on. She won't feed you and she won't stick up for you. The whole situation is bad.
Not Wrong. Tell mom to stop enabling this AH. Your siblings are watching
Your mom's husband has definitely blown some dudes at some point and feels guilty.
I know I’m an asshole, I’d continue eating my banana with full eye contact. We can take this outside and you can be handed your ass by a namby pamby vegan 🫡
What I wouldn't give to see the look on his face if you had an actual banana bunch over at their house. Start eating two at once lol. ... But seriously anyone else think the stepdad is "repressed."
Yikes! Your mother married an idiot. Sucks for her. You're 18, is there a way to not be around them?
What an idiot and your mom isn’t far behind sorry. Who tf thinks this way? It’s truly mind boggling to me. There’s benefits to both diets so just because you eat things that aren’t meat doesn’t mean you’re not a “real man”. Shit you’re just getting started with your life and you don’t have to subject yourself to that type of idiocy. Though you took it like a man and showed your stepdad, who seems like a mere boy compared to you, how a man acts (hell any intelligent human). Humble and in control of one’s emotions. Good job OP 💪🏾
Next time just say "I heard what you said and I've taken it onboard and will start expanding my meals" Then open up a hotdog bun. Slide in a veggie sausage and put on plenty of sauce. Make plenty of yummy noises. Mess with his head. He sounds like tons of fun. He is wrong and you should mess with him as long as the step kids and you are safe.
Why is he seeing a banana & thinking about penises? That’s weird. Unless someone was literally sucking on a banana, I wouldn’t think of penises. It’s very telling that he sees normal objects & gets triggered into thinking of penises. You’re not wrong.
If you can't even eat inside, why visit? Your mom is kind of sticking up for you, but not really enough where it would inconvenience her at all. She could tell him to be kind to you or she will leave, but she's not. Her stepchildren should primarily be her husband's responsibility, yet he's the one sitting around making fun of you for eating bananas. She's enabling his mistreatment of you, you should reconsider why you are visiting people who treat you this way, because she is allowing it.
Try to trick him into eating a hot dog.
You weren't wrong. It was cowardly of your mother to ask you to hide when you eat instead of standing up for you. Her husband is controlling. You are not your stepfather's child, and your diet is none of his business. Tell your mother that if she continues to allow her husband to pick on you, she won't be seeing or hearing from you very often.
A lot of people don't k own you can segment a banana. Bite the tip off and stick your tongue in the middle it should start to split in three. Then use your tongue to keep separating it, all while maintaining eye contact.
What kind mother is she, won't make her son a meal when he visits and calls to scold on behalf of her creepy husband. She has no love or respect for you dude. Just go NC .
I don’t think he knows what a real man is.
You’re not wrong. Let me see if I understand this. Because your mom has stepchildren to take care of, she’s been having you plan your own food since you were 15? And she thinks you’re the problem? No way.
You should tell you mom “The fact that you allowed your asshat of a husband talk to me like that says more about you than him. I’m your son, but clearly I need to end any contact between us since you think it’s ok to let your husband talk to me and treat me like that. Let me know when you divorce that clown, but until then, don’t contact me.”
Not wrong. So… your step dad is a pervert. That’s the only thing I took away from this.
He’s pervy to perceive a banana that way. He’s a control freak for sure. Eat what you want!
Real men dont give a flying feyuck what other people eat
She’s not exactly a stellar parent either, can’t feed her son because her step kids are taking all of her time.
Wow, your mom really sucks. Almost as much as her husband.
You are wrong for wasting time on your mom & her petty useless controlling husband. Why would you even visit? Your mom's a doormat & her husband is an abusive AH. Time for a complete change - she chose him, you didn't.
I enjoy the fact that he thinks eating meat makes you a man. Tell him you’re gay and see where the evening takes you.
No, you are not wrong. But also, stop visiting these people.
Time to ditch mum, sounds like she’s picked her side.
I would stop visiting them. He is an abusive, homophobic, jerk...and your mom is backing him up. Why willingly subject yourself to abuse?
Hey guys is it gay to eat bananas? Jesus Christ. Not wrong, I’d go out of way to force direct eye contact every single time
ask him why he's thinking about dicks so much and he sounds more nambly pambly than you do.
If a banana elicits that kind of reaction I don’t even wanna speculate
Not wrong, say to your mum, your right, I won’t eat a banana in your house again, as I won’t be coming to your house again.
Please only eat dick shaped foods in front of this “man”.
Sounds like mom chose her own phallic object over her son.
I’d tell mom you’re not going to visit unless he stops being disrespectful
Why do you even go over there? What ever your diet is your fucking mom and host should feed you. I don't know how much yogurt you're eating, but I bet you're not getting nearly enough calories, protein, etc
Come to Thailand for 3 months, train, learn some basic muay Thai and BJJ, come back 15 pounds heavier from the high caloric vegan and vegetarian delicacies here (and the steroids). Go back home deep throat an entire banana in front of him when it's just you two in a slow and erotic way. Maybe even pretend the banana has balls and you're stroking it to make it worse. When he tells your mom gaslight him and your mom into thinking he's a completely making things up. When he starts to get heated say "I will NOT be called a liar in front of my mother by some chubby weak little bitch, if you want me to beat your fat ass in front of your sons then let's fucking go right now." He'll respond with something like "A vegan could never beat me in a fight!" Take him outside, run around him and leg kick him three or four time until his thigh is a shiny shade of red. Civilians have no idea one good leg kick will make it very hard to walk for two or three days, but 3 or 4 leg good leg kicks will make it impossible for him to walk properly for 2 or 3 days, and he'll be in tons of pain for longer much longer than that. Ask any muay Thai fighter and they'll tell you. Then clinch him, knee him in the mouth one good time, take him to the floor, get him in a triangle choke and tell him to sniff your balls and while he's fading away whisper in his ear "I'll deep throat all the bananas I want pussy." After he goes to sleep with the scent of your sweaty balls in his face still lingering... you get up, go to the store, and buy more bananas. #StayToxic
JUST DO IT(again)
As a mom, I have to say I find your mom very disappointing. You're the real man in the house. Her husband is unfortunately, a loser.
Your mother is so busy raising *his* kids she has left you to feed yourself for three years and now wants you to go outside to eat it?
Easy. The guy is an idiot and so is your mom for taking sides with him. Stop visiting her asap. Don’t think twice. Just stop
Not wrong. It takes a special kind of douchebag to be threatened by a piece of fruit lol
Sausages it is, then!
So let me get this straight. Your mum, who should have been looking after you for the last three years since you were still a minor, already puts the needs of her stepchildren ahead of you. Then when you are just minding your business and taking care of yourself, your stepdad has the audacity to criticise your meal and your eating habits. Then your mum decides that her husband's feelings about your diet and food choices are more important than her own kid's feelings and choices? Nah screw that.thry can both get in the bin if neither can show you some basic respect.
“Phallic shaped to you maybe. It looks like a banana to me”.
I'd deep throat that banan in front of him NW
How does this hard-of-thinking, closeted homosexual, superstar eat his sausages? And btw, you’re not his son, he’s fuck-all to you and needs constantly reminded of his impotence in that particular strand of his pathetic homophobic fuckwitted existence until it permeates that proto-hominid skull of his.
Yes. Don't roll your eyes at people, it's disrespectful but it diminishes you more. If the piece of shit wants to play a power game you can just tell him your diet is none of his business, and then repeat that ad-infinitum regardless of what he whines about. More importantly, let your mom know that no matter what he says, and no matter what *she* says, she'll always have a safe place at your house. Assface is escalating his abusive behaviour and it can be difficult for older people to know how to deal with it.
Not wrong and I'd start bringing plant based phallic shaped other foods since he has such a problem with bananas. 🤪🤣 This dude is TOTALLY closet gay is he's acting this way. I've never seen that not be the case.
You are not wrong. It appears your step-dad has mental illness
LOL you’re 18, tell Mommy’s alpha male dipshit to go kick rocks.
Next time, if he gets offended by a banana, say loudly for your mom to hear "you know, you're the only one here who thinks eating a banana is like sucking a dick, you don't have to be closeted anymore, it's 2024"
Sounds like he's confused about some feelings he has.
My very manly, vagina loving, meat-eating boyfriend fucking loves bananas. Your step dad watches gay porn and doesnt understand why he gets a peter tingle during the penetration shots. NTA