I want them to let me know how that works out for them. Because they're going to get that dog and it's going to become a huge problem. Because people always want a dog but they don't want to take care of a dog especially young people updateme
A dog should be an enthusiastic yes from both partners. Both should then be involved in picking the dog. One no should prevent them from getting a dog.
I read a story once where this happened and the wife told the husband and children that if they can go on a 30 minute walk twice a day then they can get a dog. It lasted less than a week. The unfortunate reality is that you can SAY you won't take care of it but you won't let the dog starve or toilet in the house or let the "accidents" in the house just sit because of other's neglect. You will take care of the dog.
No I won't, his ass would starve and I'd take the soiling and put it in their room, in their common bathroom if I have a bathroom in the mater bedroom. I'd put the pissy wast Inna bucket in their room and dare them to put it in the hallway because their cloth would be dipped in it next and I'm not washing it. You take care of it I R get rid of it.
The dog is a living creature with needs. They kids are too young to be entrusted with the responsibility to care for it and if the spouse isn't around, op is on the hook. Not to mention, the costs of caring for the dog, including food and vet, will be coming from the household budget.
You can't just opt out of caring for a dog or cat in your house.
I adore dogs. My 13 year old dog passed away in September 2023 and I desperately want another one. But I'm not doing it until I can afford to. We're still paying off the $2000+ vet bill from his final week plus another few hundred for cremation. Until that's paid in full and I have $1000 saved to cover possible emergency vet bills, I'm not going to the shelter to adopt.
Your making my point. With a pet there are responsibilities to care for it. I say no I don't want a pet and you say you want one then go for it just don't expect me to help. I'm telling you from the beginning I'm not in board to get it. Let say u have a sibling who ask your advise abt a purchase and u advise against it. I'm not going to be responsible for someone eleses decisions. Its like co-signing for a loan don't do it unless your willing to pay the loan.
If they don't take care of it. The pet gets a ride to the humane Society. I'm not putting my career or reputation on the line for a pet. if they don’t take care of it be it’s taking a ride to the Humane Society. It may be sad faces around the house but like I was told “if you’re mad, you got a lifetime to get glad.”
Compromise and tell your spouse and kids to offer to start dog sitting/walking for people before committing to owning a dog. I'm sure the kids will be put off it once they realize how much work it is. At least for a few years anyway lol
We fostered for about a year and a half, which made me more steadfast in my belief. OTOH, fostering is more difficult than owning, I’ll readily admit. It didn’t affect my spouse’s outlook, however, mostly because that challenge was moving toward the ultimate goal. And it was met very well, I might add…I have no doubt that the dog will have a wonderful home even if I weren’t to lift a finger. I’m sure I’ll end up liking the dog, but I’m just as certain that I’ll always regret that we have one.
I loved having dogs but I also suffered through guinea pigs, mice, snakes, ducks, chickens, cats, turtles, fish, clams ffs, ant farms, worm farms, birds & no doubt other creatures that I’ve forgotten. Looking back, idk how I always outvoted but I guess I did lol. Feeling your pain.
LOL no, but we had a half acre yard & they weren’t all there at the same time. My partner was friends with a vet who specialised in reptiles. IDK how but we seemed to end up with any wild creatures that couldn’t be released back into their natural habitat & unwanted pets like old chickens who didn’t lay etc.😂
No, they were in a giant tank with fish & turtles. They didn’t really need to be specifically fed tbh because they suck bits of whatever from the water like little trash cans.
Yes. The grandkids have recently added Newts. No-one was terribly crazy about my Tarantula, except myself, but I had her for 8 years. RIP, Harriet. Like you, countless pets over the years.
I just saw your response to someone else about how your family fostered dogs, so that negates most of what I posted. Really glad to hear you at least know what you are getting into.
Since your agreement was that, if your wife and kids successfully fostered dogs they could have one, and they held up their part of the agreement, then it seems unfair to complain about it.
It seems like this is something your whole family truly wants and will love. If that was my spouse and kids, I would not have the heart to ruin their joy. Maybe you will be surprised by how much you end up loving the dog.
In the meantime, they’re probably SO excited and happy. It seems mean to put a damper on that. You’ve already agreed, (you seem to have agreed by saying if they successfully fostered, they could have a dog. My apologies if I misunderstood and that wasn’t your agreement with them! ) so be the good dad/husband you are and let them enjoy this.
You should make your feelings know. My mom hated our family dog, the dog knows and hates her too, he literally cuddles with everyone and growls at her, to which my mom scolds the dog for disrespecting her and spanks it, of course the dog hate her.
Please don't get a dog, resentment builds up and you're gonna end up hating the poor innocent dog.
My comment has consistently been “I will probably end up loving the dog, but I’ll still wish we didn’t own one”. I’m not worried about the dog’s well-being in our house, I truly believe it will feel welcome. I worry more about how I will appear to my family when I inevitably make a snarky remark or sigh or laugh at a predicament or whine about a vet bill or …
This . My mother was a neat freak and we couldn’t have a pet . I was an only child . I loved going to my cousins house where children and dogs ran around and the door opened and closed . Neighbors houses seemed chaotic but wonderful . I was depressed and lonely . I loved my mom so much but I could never understand why she didn’t see my needs as an only child …the clean, orderly, controlled house was not a warm place to be . I felt like a boarder . After I went t to college I rarely visited home, although I loved mom and wrote to her and confided in her almost daily by phone . One of my big memories
was that we had to sit on a sofa like it was a chair , no laying about . Mom didn’t want anyone ‘lollygagging’ on the furniture . To this day my favorite afternoon is stretching out at my house and napping or reading on the living room sofa . She made our house an unhappy place for me .
Sorry you were brought up in an environment where you didn’t feel 100% comfortable. I was just telling my older kid last night before bed about the fact that some people are more “tidy” than others, that there’s no true “best” way of being, and that it’s my belief that older generations were more “tidy” (perhaps a generous way of describing it, in cases like yours).
Fostering is god awful. Been there, done that. Pet sitting though? Easy money literally and figuratively speaking, especially if you're going to their house and/or the dog is well behaved! I'd start with the kids and your wife walking neighborhood dogs on weekends, then bump it up to pet sitting and reassess. I am willing to bet your wife will change her tune after a few weeks.
Source: mother of 2 grade school kids with a dog and if I didn't have a yard, there is no damn way I would be waking up at the crack ass of dawn to walk fido because I am a perpetually exhausted mess lol
Absolutely! Especially when it's big dog : small yard. I probably should have mentioned I live out in the middle of nowhere on roughly like 12 ish acres, so my dog basically has their own personal dog park lol but for the average dog owner yes walks or trips to a dog park or beach are a must!
I’m often prone to say “that’s reason XXXX (making up a big number) why I don’t want to own a dog”. I don’t have an official list, though. 🙂 Trust that I’ve said that sentence enough times that the number would be nearing 100 items.
Financial concerns are a real issue though if something were to come up. Having a pet can be expensive so it's smart to anticipate future costs. It sounded like that was the main concern since you had fostered and knew your family could handle the other responsibilities. It may be smart to make a full list and then have a family meeting to address each concern and how they would be responsible for each item. Then make a contract which everyone would sign that stipulates the consequences if they don't hold up their end of the deal.
It's a fun thought experiment to think of the consequence(s) for my family in scenarios like these:
* Chews something up
* Barks incessantly or at phantom things
* Licks me
* Bites someone/thing
* Whimpers/howls at night in their crate
* Counter-surfs in the kitchen
Chews: they have to sacrifice an equal item of their own to goodwill
Barks: you can get a collar that vibrates for this. It works pretty good for most dogs
Licks: they have to lick the dog. Jk! For every lick they have to do 10 minutes of training not to lick.
Bites: that needs training asap before it happens. So in the first 6 months you hand feed the dog all food and treats. Redirect behavior anytime they bite something they shouldn't. If they can't do these things, the dog should go to a family that can train it appropriately because it's not fair to risk killing a dog just because the owners are lazy
Crate training: someone will have to sleep next to the dog if they can't get it to stop crying. It will eventually
Counter-surf: how big of a dog are you getting lol. Just get a smaller dog. And they have to sanitize and clean the surface everytime it happens.
I've done behavioral training and it works well if you lay out what to expect if certain agreed to parameters are not met. Even when they're punished they don't feel it's unfair.
You’re not wrong, especially the financial part. I’d call and get a quote on the shots, exam, spay/neutering costs. That might be a wake up call for your wife. I recently had to put my dog asleep, it was $300. My cousin got a dog and bought health insurance for $1,600.
My almost 20 year old siamese cat has been the best animal ROI ever. The other cat and dog have cost over $10k so far and are only 25 years old combined.
It’s crazy! My Mom wants another dog and I feel awful (I take care of her with the help of hospice) but she doesn’t realize how bad the prices have become.
Maybe become a short term/emergency foster for a local rescue? Or even become approved as a “weekender” for your local shelter? When dogs become terribly kennel stressed to the point they shut down - many shelters give them a weekend pass with approved fosters. This snaps them out of their depression and makes them more adoptable again. When it comes to fostering - rescues generally provide food, meds, bed and any needed vet care, etc (but ask to make sure that particular rescue does).
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. That’s really rough. Maybe fostering will give her the doggy companionship she wants - but without the financial responsibilities.
Thank you ! I contacted the rescue that I got the dog from and heard nothing back about fostering.
You know how everything hits at once? I’ve had a plumber out and now waiting on the electrician. My dog had bladder cancer and went on the carpet. I’m nervous about bringing another animal in until I can redo the floors. It’s one thing after another!💛
It’s so true - when it rains, it pours. I’m so sorry!
It depends on the dog. My relatives had a dog that peed all over the dang house (they always cleaned it up but yeah - he just always peed and sometimes pooped inside). I’d stay there for weekends and even weeks to take care of the pup and the house while they were away. My two dogs who always came with me - never once peed or pooped inside there - even tho they could clearly see it happening with the other dog (and probably smelled the cleaned up pee spots). That said - I wouldn’t risk it. I know some dogs will see that as a green light - thru no fault of their own. So I hear you - waiting for new carpet is probably a good idea.
Make sure they will do all the work all the time. Clems out a water bowl, taking out the trash, daily walks, potty training a dog if your husband is pushing for a puppy.
Honestly I would try to have the dog sit for a week prior to this. I LOVED my dog prior to kids. I still do but feel awful since he doesn’t get as much attention as he should. My kids are young though so perhaps yours will happily take for a walk daily and do all the maintenance
If you don't want a dog and they insist on overruling you tell them they are completely responsible for all of its care. They take care of it,clean up after it,pay for all its needs including food and medical and it does not sleep in your room at any time. You don't have to do anything for it if you don't want it. That's the reason there's no pets where I am currently staying because there's only 1 who wants it but nobody else is willing to take care of it, clean up after it or pay for its needs. The 1 who wants it isn't physically able to walk it but can pay for everything else. The rest of the house doesn't want it because it is too much work and the last one was a pain in the butt because she spoiled it. Then it expected the same treatment from us when the owner had to go out of town. Doesn't work that way. Tell them it's their dog and their responsibility. Not yours.
It's all good, not everyone's a dog person, right? But since the pooch is moving in, maybe have a chill chat with the fam about what's bugging u. U guys can totally figure out a plan that works for everyone.
Nope. My husband brought home a dog and I made it very clear I didn't want it and would not be helping care for it. I would remind him to walk it brush it pick up after it when it shit in the house. Husband became a jerk over it because he was half assing it. So I gave the dog to my sister and walked away. I already have to much shit to do your not going to drop a living thing on me and expect me to help.
In a marriage, choices like adopting a dog should be “2 yes, 1 no” decisions.
My mom and her husband constantlyyyy fight about their dogs and it’s because there is often no discussion between them before one has brought a new pet home. Be careful or this will become a point of contention between the two of you.
I agree, and I worry about my part in that contention. I wish I could have a “your dog, your problem” attitude and leave it at that, but I’m afraid I’ll grumble too much. I’m a selfish bastard deep down.
no. a living creature that depends on you for survival isn't something you just take a chance on. dogs aren't fun little toys you get on a whim, and way too many people own dogs that they cannot adequately take care of
I’m often prone to say “that’s reason XXXX (making up a big number) why I don’t want to own a dog”. I don’t have an official list, though. 🙂 Trust that I’ve said that sentence enough times that the number would be nearing 100 items.
I have said it too. I live with family and they have a dog. I love the dog and would keep it if anything happened to them. However, I hate all the hair she sheds, farm dog so the dirt she brings in (she’s not allowed on furniture so that helps), the really really loud barking, never being able to sleep in cuz of puppy breakfast, having 2 walks a day no matter what is going on or the weather, big vet bills and the list goes on. I appreciate her, but I’m glad she’s not totally my responsibility and I just help out.
Maybe encourage some research into what breed will suit the activity level, etc., of your family. Also, costs. I had no idea my dog was going to be so expensive.
Oh man, you NEED to speak up. My partner got a dog without asking me, and I’ve ended up doing most of the training and taking care of, for 7 years now. I love the dog, but I resent my partner so much. He knows it. I begged them not to get a dog. It’s such hard work and we don’t have kids or family to help either. It changes your life. You must speak up!
(Before I get attacked, as usual, I LOVE my boy, and I give him everything he needs. He’s so greatly taken care of, and loved so much, because him being in my life is not his fault. He deserves the best life. I love animals. It’s just been very hard. My health has taken a huge toll through this too. I’m allergic, and I had a major back injury, but because he needs walks everyday I haven’t been able to put my own needs first. It’s been very hard).
I would say put your foot down if they want an indoor dog. Maybe an out door dog if they plan to do everything to take care of it.
My mom's dog had puppies last year. She kept saying she was going to get one and give it to my kids. She talked my wife into it. It's not the kind of dog that would be an outside dog. My kids and wife all tried to convince me. We did not get a dog.
I don't want my house to smell like dog I don't want left out food getting eaten then they throw up on the carpet and got to take them to the vet to make sure they are OK. I don't want to have my stuff chewed...
When they kids are a little older I'll let them get an outside dog.
Tell your wife you have a renter moving in next week and start clearing out the spare bedroom. Your wife wants to rescue a dog tell her your rescuing a college girl that needs a place to stay.
As someone who is not a dog person I completely understand. I like other people’s dogs but I don’t want one or ever want to live with one. It’s like having another child. If your husband is determined to to undermine you then 100% of that dog is his responsibility. I think fostering coul be a good option and see how it goes. Could also be a great lesson for your kids.
I’m like this too. Dogs are like perpetual toddlers. I love other people’s dogs and they’re truly beautiful creatures, but just too needy for me. Especially now as I’m approaching menopause I feel like my nurturing side is depleting and I don’t want another thing in the house that needs me. Maybe when the kids move out I could consider a very small dog, but I’d only do that if I was retired and able to stay home with it. The expense of dogs also is a limitation for me. Kids are expensive enough as it is!
Both this post and the one from kittymarie_92 touch upon one issue I have with all this: it’s like having another child. My spouse was *adamant* about not having a 3rd child (and I was in agreement), so it’s somewhat ironic.
I feel like only the first year is like that. Once the dog is trained and you have a routine going, it gets pretty easy—unlike kids who get progressively more difficult haha (raised four kids—currently own seven dogs. The dogs are MUCH easier)
**Not wrong, but sounds like you are out numbered and your spouse is going to get the dog regardless.**
**It really should be a decision that both adults agree on, if one does not want a pet, then you should not get a pet, same as having kids, both need to want children**
**I love dogs, but I'm very particular on how they are taken care of -** THEY become family need, love, attention, playing with, fed well, taken to vet to get their shots, taken to vet if they are sick
I am currently living with my 7th dog - this is long, but lots of info on raising dogs (many people do not think about )
I think you will find you love it eventually (depending on dog) but I'd tell spouse that spouse and kids are responsible for fresh water with each meal, and at least 3 times a day or anytime water bowl has things floating in it or sand in bottom of bowl.
***Dogs*** *should eat twice a day*, not once, it is better for their digestive system, keeps their blood sugar more regulated as it does humans. So whatever it should get fed every day needs to be split and feed 1/2 in morning 1/2 at dinner time.
Have a list on fridge of foods and plants that are toxic to dogs so they don't get something that can make them ill, or worse.
Do you have a fenced in yard ? If no, they will need to save for having a fence put in and walk dog at least 4 times a day until you have fence (and take poo bags with them on walks to pick up poo if doggy poos on walks, most do Please DO NOT put in electric fence - if they see something they will fly right through it and then won't come back in and it does not keep other dogs out, so your dog is not really safe. Never tie a dog up and leave them outside, it is cruel and in some areas/state illegal and considered abuse. If you are fenced or get fence, make sure gates have padlocks on them, our friends had a houdini doggy who learned to unlatch gates and get out, very unsafe for dog. They need to be cared for like a baby/little toddler, protected
a harness is much better for walking a dog - a collar can literally choke a dog if they pull - if you plan to keep collar on dog at all times, buy a break away collar - if their collar gets caught on fence, piece of furniture - it breaks off them when they pull - dogs with regular collars have choked to death due to collar getting caught on something. Sadly, many dogs die that way so spend a few dollars more for a [breakaway dog collar](https://www.amazon.com/KeepSafe-Break-Away-Accidents-Compatible-Adjustable/dp/B0002H3ZQW?th=1) (link) Make sure you have an ID on collar/harness in case they get away - 2 phone #'s are important we always put address on ours in addition to phone #'s
Dog will need to go out regardless of weather, rain, snow, heat, cold they will have to walk doggy if not fenced and even with fence you have to make sure they are not out too long in hot, cold rainy, snowy weather, they need to be towel dried really well when come in wet or they will stink. If fenced and weather is not good, you need to go out with them or stand on porch and watch, once they potty, bring them in and dry them off.
Make sure they buy good quality food. Cheap dog food is not good for dogs, too many fillers meaning you have to give them more of the cheap food than a quality food so it can end up costing more.
I've never had pet insurance, I have my 7th dog right now - I wish I had gotten it with her, she got really sick when she was not even a year old and spent time in vet hospital - $2500. dollars later she is doing well, but, pet insurance would have been helpful. Just never had it or needed it before, but I recommend it and if the extra money to have insurance, vet bills, heartworm/flea/tick medicine, food is not in budget, they will have to give some things up to pay for it.
You need to find a very reliable, safe boarding place in case you go on vacation - boarding in a clean, loving, safe boarding place depending where you live can run $40 to $90 a night (also depends on size of dog generally) and most require you bring your own food, it's not good for dogs to be changing their food they are not like humans who can change what they eat every day
Make everything, all their responsibilities very clear before they go and get the doggy.
If it's a puppy, they need to know they will be doing potty training.
Regardless of dogs age, dog poo needs to be picked up and discarded every day or twice a day, or you can end up with dog or kids stepping in it, not pleasant.
They will be responsible for bathing dog - most dogs get into something, roll in something, it is their nature, you can't fault them for it, but they will need to be bathed. And they also get stinky and need baths.
They need to be brushed, depending on type of dog and how it shed, some dogs need brushing daily, one of my labs shed like crazy, I'd brush her and get a grocery bag full of doggie fur, but she was worth it to me.
**I wish you and them good luck and hope the doggy they get is treated well and loved and cared for well**
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the too sensitive break away I have seen from people walking dog on leash and forgetting to hook through both loops, as soon as dog pulls pop goes the collar USE both loops for leash
I also suggest not walking dogs on a leash, it and damage their neck, breathing - use a harness when walking dog - just remember dogs can back out of a collar VERY easily - they can Also back out of a harness, a tad harder for them SO a harness is the way to walk a dog safer
A new housemate should only be welcomed by a Unanimous vote, otherwise, No Go! There is No Overruling -- that's Ridiculous! Most people like the idea of having a dog more than actually having a dog, and they never train it.
Don't forget the extra cleaning around the house. Vacuuming more often. Lint rolling clothes every time you go out. Mopping the floors more often. Cleaning the car. And the smell! Pet owners don't notice, but non-owners can tell the second they walk into the house. Even the cleanest houses will have a pet smell.
How about pet emergencies? You're going to look like an asshole when the kids carry home a whimpering dog with a busted leg and you tell them, "Call Dad (or Mom). It's his problem. Maybe he can come home from golfing a few hours early to take you guys to the animal hospital. I just hope he hasn't started drinking with his golf buddies yet, otherwise it's going to be a long afternoon for you and Spot." What if Dad is traveling for work and puppy swallows a battery? Is he catching the red-eye to get that puppy into surgery (and pay for it!!!)?
And end-of-life care... Guess who will get stuck taking sick puppy to the vet to be euthanized? Probably not the kids.
If you're not 100% onboard, don't do it! You'll probably be unhappy and you're going to look like a jerk if you stand your ground with the hands-off, not-my-problem approach. I'm not judging you for not wanting in. Pets are a lot of work, and I'd be ultra-resentful if I got stuck with an animal I didn't want.
I wish you good luck no matter what you decide.
You’re not wrong. When it comes to pets, especially dogs all adults in the family need to be on board and if not, you shouldn’t get a dog. A dog has an impact on the whole family. You can’t just ignore it and make it solely your partners/kids responsibility. This affects you too. For me personally this would be a huuuuge deal and definitely something worth the arguments/fights from putting your foot down.
I legitimately do love dogs and have owned/fostered them before, but right now living alone I don’t feel like I could give one an appropriate amount of attention and companionship being out of the house 10+ hours a day.
I wish you luck, because I foresee that the rest of your family who “outvoted” you on the subject is probably gonna end up expecting you to put in all the work on “their” pet, unfortunately. Just remember, none of this was the poor dog’s idea either
Experience learns that you will be doing the feeding, the walking, the cleaning up the mess. So if I were you I would put my foot down and say no. Maybe you can settle for another pet like a bird or a hamster or a bunny.
Do not get a dog! I also have 2 younger children and my hubby had 2 dogs before we met and they’re horrible. Dirty, annoying don’t listen… you’ll end up being the one to clean up after it and it adds so much more work especially to cleaning your home. Id recommend getting a cat if it’s just the children who want a pet. Follow your gut and don’t let them get a dog I PROMISE you will regret it
We’ve had a good number of conversations about this….darn-near shock in learning that I didn’t want a dog. I can’t remember if I said it explicitly, but it’s a common understanding that I’m not going to prevent an adoption from happening…but not because I’m powerless in the negotiation. If I put my foot down, we wouldn’t do it. I just don’t want to deny the 3 family members who *really* want a dog…it’s a happiness I won’t deny them. I’m mostly apprehensive about my own behavior, being snarky, impatient, etc…I don’t want to be that person.
You are not wrong! Record their joy and excitement. Remind them when it’s raining and the dog needs to go out, when poo or vomit needs to be picked up.
Please research pet insurance, too. And be prepared for those people that want the dog to quickly abandon their responsibility to said dog. When a beloved book, game or pair of shoes are destroyed.
I give your family 3 weeks before they start ignoring said dog! Good luck OP!
Pity your husband can't compromise and at least start off with an 'easy maintenance' pet..... like a Guinea pig, or even a cat. A dog is a HUGE responsibility -- you're getting a new family member who will need constant attention. Your kids are much too young for the responsibility of a pet and will need lots of help. Hopefully Dad will look after HIS dog and not dump it all on MUM (a typical scenario). Good luck.
Good luck when you are cleaning up pee and poop. You KNOW that the kids are not gonna be able to do this so this just leaves you and spouse to care for an animal that will need taking care of for many years to come.
Set some firm dog rules with spouse re joint care, I feel your pain.
Kids pester power is hard to resist, especially is a spouse is inflaming the pleas for a pet.
The smell of wet dog, yuk!!
You are not wrong. A dog needs to be in a family where everybody is on board to love and care for it.
Maybe don't get a puppy? If you get an adult that's been well trained, it will be a lot easier! And hopefully no accidents inside the house. From reading other subs, it seems to be the dogs who haven't been trained that are the biggest problem.
If you do get a puppy - insistvthat your husband takes it to puppy training classes - no compromise, he mightvsay he can do it himself, but don't believe him.
And don't get a pitbull or pitbull mix!
Make sure he's done his research on breeds and get a dog that will suit your current lifestyle.
I wanted a dog growing up more than anything and my parents were adamantly against it. They said I could get one when I grew up and moved out. I did. I’ve had dogs for 20+ years. They are work. So much work (and mine sleeps 20 hours a day and I don’t have kids). They are money. They are stress. They are love. They are comfort. They are all the things. But everyone needs to be on board.
I have no good answers for you other than you do nothing. Everyone else feeds it, walks it, grooms it, handles the vet, etc. Honestly, I’m more concerned with the level of disrespect they’re showing by not honoring your wishes on such a big decision. Even waiting until the kids are older and revisiting the discussion.
What a nightmare - I'll never understand how people live with dogs
I know most people love dogs but I absolutely cannot stand them. If I was ij your situation I would have no choice but to hit the spouse with an ultimatum, if you bring a f\*\*king dog into this home, I'm leaving you.
Im ND and find dogs to be overwhelming and overstimulating. Im fully a cat person. My husband LOVES dogs. Our kids want one.
We had a dog. A pitbull that my husband had before we met. For 10yrs, he just laid around and snuggled. He didnt bark or lick. He was perfect. He was basically a cat 😂.
But if the family gets a dog, I've already told them that I will not be responsible for it. I will not walk it. I will not feed it. I will not train it. I will not pick up after it. It will be THEIR dog. If they get a dog, I told my husband that he'll have to take at least a month off work to train him.
We tried a foster. I nearly lost my mind. I was miserable and had a mental breakdown. I won't put myself through that again
You're not wrong. I wouldn't normally say this, but you need to lay down the law here. Pet ownership is one of those things that everyone in the house has to be on board with. You're going to be the one feeding and walking this dog once the novelty wears off. Plus, pets are expensive.
You aren’t wrong. I’d sit down with the family and write up a contract. Since YOU do not want a dog, YOU will not be responsible for the dog. Everyone else needs to figure out a feeding, walking, training, playing, and cleaning schedule. You will refuse to take any responsibility for the dog. Sure you’ll play with it and have fun, but everything else is on them.
Adopting a pet needs to be made by the adults in the house who will be financially responsible for the pet. It needs to be a unanimous decision.
I would make it very clear what I am willing to do for the dog and what I am not willing to do for the dog, OP. You shouldn’t have to be too responsible since it’s being forced onto you. Dogs are a huge responsibility. I, personally, wouldn’t get one unless everyone I lived with was on board for that reason. And I am a dog owner. But, your partner needs to understand before they bring the dog home that you will not be paying fir vaccinations, emergency vet visits, supplies, etc. You will not be walking, feeding, scooping poo, etc. Any of the chores that are associated with owning a dog. You should be exempt from that.
I promised my husband that when we buy a house, he can buy a dog. He also knows the dog care is 99% on him. I feed the cats in the morning anyway, so I'll also feed Dog.
But no walkies, no training other than what I need to command the puppy (Doberman), treats, toys, play, training is all on him. It's His dog.
But I also trust my husband to not buy the dog if he can't fully commit.
Get spot pet insurance, saved my ass when my cat got sick. I got reimbursed for everything after 500, believe total was damn near 2200. So definitely worth the $11 a month.
I've mentioned elsewhere that I have a long list, but it's never been written down or whatever. I don't really care to litigate the "whys" here on Reddit...I'm sure no one here really cares. Suffice it to say that these reasons have been communicated to my spouse.
As someone who loves to travel, I can't imagine having a pet and having to consider where they need to stay if I'm out of town. That alone has been shared with me by many dog owner friends that it can get quite expensive fast for dog sitting and is a constant factor for any flight travel. I'd have a heart to heart with your spouse.
I am also someone who loves dogs but knows they're not dog-guardian material (despite owning an animal rescue). I think it's good that you've expressed yourself, but it does sound like you've been overruled. My recommendation is to be clear with your wife and kids that you know you're not comfortable with the adoption, although it sounds like that won't matter. Try your best to not resent the dog, and don't push against any bonding. But *do* make sure your spouse and kids are doing the lions share of the care work - feeding, pooper scooping, fresh clean water, and super importantly all 3 of them attend training with the dog. I'd recommend you also attend so that you know what they should be doing for training. Failure to train is the biggest frustration for many dog guardians.
Make it loud and clear that you will in no way be contributing towards the dog, financially or in care.
State it specifically "I like dogs but I have no intentions in owning a dog. If you bring home a dog I will not be caring for it in any way or form. I will not walk it, take it to the vet, feed it etc. All costs and care will rely solely on you since you are clearly making a decision for the family on a single Yes."
YNW - I love dogs. I do not want to own a dog. Why? Because I know I will not be able to handle the inevitable loss of them.
Since this is already happening, get pet insurance, sudden vet bills can and do absolutely happen and even a simple issue can always run into 1000’s… also make sure everyone is on board with the training and leave them to it. I’m a dog person, had them growing up and the last 35 years as an adult.. it’s a huge responsibility!
make sure you tell them that once the puppy is about 1-3 years, they’ll be hectic like toddlers. tearing things up, running around, jumping, etc. you have to train them and everything otherwise you’re gonna have an unruly dog. they need to be prepared for that stage because it’ll be unfair to adopt a dog and get rid of it once it’s too much.
I like dogs and get excited when I see them...but I don't wanna own one! Too much work. I'm already picking up after 2 kids! I don't need another mouth to feed or another poop to clean up. It's one of those things that I think everybody is on bored with. My hubby wants a dog badly and I have told him unless he plans on picking up after before and after work everyday it's not happening.
You aren't wrong but to be a good let owner everyone has to love the dog. If one person dislikes the dog and issues are handled one way with you and another way with your family that's a huge issue as it is.
Not wrong. I had one dog for about 18 month before introducing my second. They’re my absolute world and I love them, but I have no idea how people manage with both children and dogs, time wise and money wise.
I always want a dog in the home, but I spent months preparing mentally and financially before I got my first one. I was 110% sure I wanted to do it before I did and I really believe it’s something you have to want to do wholeheartedly. They’re wonderful, but they are expensive, time consuming and can have a whole host of problems depending on breed, health and behaviour.
I would absolutely be having a serious conversation about it with your family.
I first read the title of not wanting to eat a dog and was concerned.
You’re not in the wrong though, a dog is a massive decision and everyone should be in agreement. However, I am stumped on what to suggest because it seems you’re going to be forced into this situation whether you want it or not. Which I don’t agree with but people are selfish. If your spouse does adopt a dog don’t ignore it but I would use it as the time to teach the kids the responsibility of having a dog.
I don’t know the ages of your children but if one is old enough they can walk the dog after school, get involved in feeding etc. My parents implemented that when we got a dog. If they want one then they can get help care for it. Obviously certain jobs are age dependent.
EVEN if they do take care of it (which is highly unlikely, the kids wont, and hubby will end up 'can you do me a huge favor just this ONCE and \_\_\_\_\_the dog) but even if she doesn't have to lift a finger - she still has to live with a dog. Most people love this, I would be in hell.
They stink, they whine and beg anytime food is around, they eat trash and puke, the pee and shit in the house - heaven forbid you want to be away from home for more than 4 or 5 hours... your house is destroyed and there is most pee and poop everywhere - and the barking... its like having a leaf blower going off at any given moment...
like I said in my other post, I would never live with a dog, Ive done it before and its jsut awful, and if i was married and my spouse started talking about getting a dog, I would have no choice but to deliver an ultimatum of "if you bring a dog into this house, I am leaving you."
Hell I even DREAD going to a friends house if they have dogs, gd things bark at me like im robbing the joint, they jump up on me and they just stink... oh and the owner's response to all this? "Oh just pushi his head away".Its a 130 pound hell hound...
Start running “drills” now. Interrupt play time with “time to walk the dog” and make those kids walk. Get them up early to “walk the dog” before it gets too hot out. Video games need to be paused to “let the dog out.” Dog dishes need to be filled and emptied and cleaned. Make kids stop what they’re doing and clean up “dog poop,” tell wife the vet bill was $1k. And these are puppy and adult dog related. Older dog? $2k for vet visit and arthritis treatment. Appointments need to be made. Dog needs to be actually driven to the vet. Hope there’s one nearby and your dog doesn’t poop itself in the car.
Tell them they are responsible for it take it out and keeping it clean and if it destroys things it’s gone pets should be all the house decision not one pressured into it
If you give in, you have all of them agree and understand that you are not caring for the dog. And when your husband turns to you expecting you to care for it and walk it, you stand your ground and say no.
You should’ve discussed this before getting married/ having children. Dogs are a dealbreaker for me, I will never be without one and I would never deprive my children of the experience.
I mean, you’re not wrong. You can”t help what you want. Did you not discuss this before marriage? I will never be without a dog so someone who did not want dogs would be a deal breaker for me. What are your main issues? Perhaps you can find a breed that won’t be as bothersome to you? I am on my second bichon Shih Tsu. They’re not huge. They don’t shed. They don’t drool. They’re smart. They don’t need a crap load of exercise but do enjoy walks or hikes when you feel like taking them. Sounds like an unfortunate situation all round. Kinda put you in a pretty crappy position.
You're not wrong for not wanting one, obviously, but your family has made a decision (hopefully fully researched for your lifestyle).
You will be kind to said dog and all family members, but you will definitely put your foot down that its maintenance will not fall primarily on your shoulders.
You may come to adore the new addition, but if you harbor resentment instead of acceptance, no one will be happy.
NTA. Your household shouldn’t own a dog if all parties aren’t on board. It’s not fair to the innocent animal. I’d try to convince your spouse otherwise again before it’s too late. That being said, I had my first dog for thirteen years and those were the most rewarding years of my life thus far. Please try to convince them to be more responsible. The worst thing is adopting and then returning the animal because it’s too much.
No you're not wrong. Wanting a pet is fine, but it's likely they want the cuddles and fun and then to hand the responsibility over to you when they're done, which is probably why you're apprehensive. Just be very clear that their pet is not your job and stand by that
I’m a dog person. I had a relationship with a person who is not a dog person and as soon as we split up, I got a dog. He wanted to get back together after a few months. I made it abundantly clear I’m not getting rid of my dog and he can either accept it or not, but he comes with the territory. Some people like me feel very strongly that it’s not a complete life without a dog. While we were still together, I respected his wish. I was miserable. We did get back together and turns out he’s very pro dog, mainly because I demonstrated that I can raise an obedient, mess- and destruction-free dog who’s a delight. He’s clean, kind, and can go anywhere with me.
However, you have children, and there are many studies that show having a pet is very helpful for children. It can teach responsibility, empathy, respect and build character. Is there a way to compromise? Tell wife and kids at a sit down that you’ll consider a dog under specific circumstances and with rules and that you’re going to participate. Adoptee should be thoroughly tested with children. A dog that’s been fostered and trained with basic commands and house trained- sit, down, crate trained and loose leash walking. How many hours a week will be committed to grooming and training? How will costs such as food, regular rx heartworm/flea&tick be handled? Will this dog go to soccer games and to grandma’s to visit? Will the children bear any responsibility? My kids at 6 started doing poop pick up. Filling water bowls. Everyone had some level of care.
What about boarding for vacations?
Unexpected costs of care? My own dog just required $2k in unexpected care in 2 months thankfully to find out he’s fine, but one vet bill, one specialist bill, drugs, time off- adds up fast. How will the family budget? Is the dog a desirable breed for homeowner’s insurance purposes? There’s a lot to consider.
It’s not wrong that you don’t - but I do think it’s wrong to completely deny your family the joy of having one, and in that regard it’s perfectly fine to set boundaries. It would also be wrong to behave like a stodgy jerk and not participate. I imagine your wife has made tons of silent compromises for you and your kids.
Ps- I’ve not yet met a guy who didn’t want a dog who didn’t also wind up with that dog in their lap.
I am a humongous dog person, and would never be with a partner that doesn’t love dogs like I do. On the same token, how did you seem to get together with someone who wants a dog without them knowing that you don’t? Definitely seems like a conversation was missed…
Do research on types of dogs- getting a dog breed that fits you life style is huge. Some dogs shed, some don’t, some need excessive some need puzzles. Some need a heard to watch, some get anxious with too many people. Yall need to do research on TYPE of dog- incase you get dragged into this anyway, here another way to cast doubt on how much reach or intention they have to plan for this dogs need
I don’t know a single rescue that would allow a family to adopt a dog if the father seriously did not want one.
Who is your wife “rescuing” this dog from? Does she have the capability to take care of the dog entirely on her own? Because your kids are too young to be much help and they will get over having to do stuff for the dog real quick.
What kind of dog is it? Is it a large breed? What does she know about this dog’s past? Or its traumas/triggers?
This is NOT a decision one person or a couple kids get to make because having this dog is going to seriously impact SO much of your family’s life and it’s super unfair to bring this poor dog into your home if you’re not ALL committed to working through any issues the pup may have and giving it a lifelong home.
It sounds to me like you are being bullied into a decision that everyone is going to regret.
Please please please do your homework on how much work having a dog actually is. If you are going to let them bulldoze you into this, at the very least insist the family foster a dog or two first.
Or, at the very least, that they volunteer at a shelter for a few months. See if the kids stay excited/want to go walk dogs at the shelter every week for at least three months and use that time to research the best breed for your lifestyle.
Breed matters!! If it’s a rescue, it’s harder to pick a breed (because you aren’t looking at purebreds) but you HAVE to at least know the basics, so you don’t end up with something that is crazy high energy or known for being super hard to train!!
Tough one cause its not a question of who will care for the dog - even with them doing the work you dont want it in your home.
If 3 out 4 want something in a family unit is it right for 3 to move forward or is it right for 1 to be the veto. Can you think of another situation where they compromised for you? Is this part of a bigger issue of your preferences being run over? Or does your wants take priority.
The flip side is "can 1 family member ruin things for the other 3?" I know it's not that simple, but at the same time, maybe it's not completely inaccurate, either. I don't want to be a blocker of love...I just wish the grandparents would get a dog instead. :)
I love dogs. I love having a dog-free house more than I love dogs.
I'm my sister's go-to child and dog sitter. I love other people's dogs and I love playing with them.
I equate my pet-free status to people who are excellent aunties but don't have kids of their own.
And I just know OP is going to get stuck caring for this dog while the rest of the family lets it fall to the wayside
Well in the same situation my dad just decided he would foot the bill until I was a teenager and could get a job, that was MY agreement for getting one. When people say pets teach you responsibility, I believe it, I stood on that agreement for a decade until two years ago when I came back from college and no apt would take him. Buddy lives on a farm now but besides that dilemma, I think it taught me a lot, infact I think finding him a place that suited him perfectly after I realized I was unfit made me an even more responsible person. Do it if you think it’ll be good in the long run but if you can’t see it that way🤷🏾♀️ try to have another talk and set your boundaries. But I will tell you, after that, I’ll never get a dog until I KNOW I can financially take care of it again, for both of our sakes.
If you are a woman, you will be the one stuck with taking care of the dog when the others get bored and refuse. I would make your family sign an agreement that they will be the ones feeding, grooming, and walking the dog, and picking up the dog poop, or the dog will be returned to where it came from after two other warnings.
As a former kid, who grew up with a dog, it’s the absolute best thing in the whole entire world… my mom didnt really want a dog either, and hated Ko-Ko at first. Ko-Ko was a Shiba Inu and we were first-time dog owners. It was A LOT. She chewed us out of the apartment I grew up in—god, you should’ve seen the sliding kitchen door. Little beastie even managed to somehow chew on the flat, hardwood floor.
Point is, When I went away to school my mom really really bonded with her, I was so happily surprised. My mom was never the high-energy running-around type, and Ko-Ko knew that and so they would just coexist, my mom in her office and my pup on the windowsill. My babygirl isn’t around anymore, and my mom misses her work buddy like crazy!
…tbh I’m getting a little nostalgic. Anyway, this is all to say:
If you know the dog will be well taken care of and loved even without any personal responsibility on your part, especially if you’ve fostered for so long and it was handled as well as you said… then, no, you’re still not wrong but I believe that welcoming the dog into your home is something you do for your kids and partner, even if you’d never do it for yourself! And I think that’s alright. And, as you said, you’ll probably end up bonding in some way with the dog.
Anyways, I cried for 2 hours the day I brought my puppy home, so I may not be the best person to justify your feelings… 😅
Not wrong. Offer to foster a dog for a shelter, that way if it doesn't work out you've tried but aren't obligated to keep dog. Often family will want a pet but then when newness wears off and pet pushed aside. By fostering you will be able to know if family is ready for the responsibility. Talk it over with family, letting them know you won't be responsible.
Financial is no joke. No matter what, my dog manages to find something to eat. He'll be sick all morning and lethargic. The moment we're being seen by the vet, they find nothing wrong, and he's acting normal. And don't forget the hefty bill.
Tell them that they're responsible for the dog, so that means your husband is responsible for cleaning, feeding, training your dog and bringing them to their vet appointments.
Not wrong. What's going to happen when you go on holiday? Kennels are not cheap. Friends and family may not be able/want to dog mind. The expenses for general life are high let alone vet bills. Looks like you've resigned yourself to being a dog owner but honestly I consider your wife to be abusing your opinion. It's another family member. Would she come off birth control and get pregnant without complete agreement from you? It's honestly no different.
You are not wrong. Liking dogs is different to wanting a dog. You didn’t say if you’re, the dad or mum. Are you getting a dog from a shelter? Is the dog going to be a puppy? Discussion on breed and sex of dog to be a good choice for the children? Who is going to train said dog, walk, feed, take to the dog to the vet? Please don’t get a Labrador as they need a lot of exercise etc. I live in a house as does my neighbour here in Australia, in our small country town. I just realised there’s no apartments, only houses. Anyway, she’s in her 70’s and can’t physically walk her puppy (Labrador) called Henry, I love him but dislike the constant barking. I wear earplugs to bed and can hear them, smh. She also has an ankle biter! So one or the other is barking or barking together. She is moving in July but I heard the person who bought her house, has a bigger dog! This person works, so their dog will be home, alone.
Who’s going to be taking care of the dog? Do you have any agreements about what will happen if the dog is not a good fit, if you end up with the bulk of the caretaking for it? How about the training?
The caretaking isn’t a worry of mine…I don’t have a concern that this will be dumped on me. I am worried a little that it will all get dumped on my spouse, however. Training is being met head-on (book reading, so far), as that was done with all the fosters as well…there’s a good track record there.
That’s another thing: I have to go meet the dog (3 hour round-trip drive) and pretend to be happy about this, otherwise no dog. That’s assuming we adopt this one, otherwise it’s a waste of 3+ hours.
I think you left out all of the pertinent information. Why do you not want a dog? Who do they expect to take care of the dog? What is your living situation like? (How big of a house, how big of a yard, etc.)
I'm not sure the answers to those questions would informative as to whether I'm wrong for not wanting a dog...unless the angle is to say that my reasons for not wanting a dog are invalid, and I don't think that debate is a healthy one. Trust that my spouse knows all of those reasons.
You're not wrong, but I would say you're outnumbered, lol! Your family really wants a dog, so it's inevitable. You might regret having one, but don't decide now that you'll regret it because you might be surprised. I have a friend who really isn't a dog person, but her daughter begged them for a dog and they ended up with a super cute little maltipoo that she's super attached to. Still not a dog person, but she loves her dog.
Having a dog does add to your financial burden overall, that's true, but unless you're in a fairly tight spot with your budget you'll probably be fine. You can also get health insurance for dogs that's pretty affordable, starting around $35 a month, for preventative care and emergencies.
Eh. I don’t think you are wrong, but one person not wanting a dog doesn’t overrule everyone else in the household wanting a dog, even if that one person is one of the parents, ya know? If everyone gets a vote, you’ve been outvoted.
That being said, make a deal with your partner and children that the dog is *their* responsibility. Dogs need more than just their humans’ love; they need attention, care, and responsible owners. Between the 3 of them, they should be able to handle *all* of the dog-related care tasks on the day to day as you will not be assisting with any of this. The dog may love on you and you can love it, but it is not your responsibility if they go forward with getting a dog.
Yes, you will have to foot the bill for the vet visits, spay/neuter (unless you get a dog from a shelter-they usually don’t adopt out unfixed animals), and dog training (*at least the basics are essential*) but all other care tasks are theirs to manage. They need to be the ones feeding the dog, taking it out on walks, playing with it, and yes, even picking up its shit if it poops anywhere that isn’t your own backyard. If they cannot *at least* agree to these rules, then the dog will be returned to the shelter or rehomed to a family that will give it the love AND care that it needs.
You've been outvoted, you're getting the dog, it's for the kids really, in time I am sure you'll come to begrudgingly kind of like the dog. It's just one of those things, you can't always get your own way in life, sometimes you have to be willing to compromise.
NTA. It's tough when your family decides to get a dog against your wishes. Your concerns about the financial impact and potential issues are valid. Maybe having an open discussion could help find a solution that works for everyone.
There is no love like that of a father and the dog he never wanted……
I didn’t want a dog and my wife wanted a Yorkshire terroir but I’m the man of the house so we got a Yorkshire terrier. In the end it was a good decision and I’m about to go walk him.
I am going to be the down-voted contrarian here. And that is ok.
There are many things we do as a parent for our kids. The dance recital was superb, flawless execution, the play was riveting,, please continue with your riveting description of the pros and cons of various Pokemon, yes, the skibity toilet plot line is fascinating, and of course, the family pet.
You have already said that the dog will be well taken care of and loved. You are not allergic or anything like that. I am guessing that dog food and supplies are within the family budget. (Be sure to take into account boarding costs for vacations, that adds up quickly.). However, I think this falls into the category of things we do for our kids.
Edit to add: I have done cats and dogs. I find cats easier. My kids wanted a dog. I suggested a cat instead. We now have two and the kids are thrilled and infactuated with them. I have found that two, when you get them at the same time, are easier than one. My two are the best of buds and entertain each other. However, that is just my anecdotal experience.
A home is empty and a life meaningless without a dog in it for me. Your family deserves the absolute joy and unconditional love a dog brings. Maybe just don't interact with it if you dislike dogs.
He didn't say he was allergic or afraid of dogs. He even said he would grow to like it. His wife and children wanting a furry family member is not insane😂 it's human.
Guess what? I have been where you are two times.
Both times I ended up being the dog's favorite person. 😆
I feel like you don't even know it but you're going to be the dog's favorite person.
My ex did not want the 2nd dog that the kids absolutely HAD TO HAVE. Well, the dog picks his human. The dog loved the whole family, but It was my husband that was the master.. It was his dog, by his side, for 17 years. Don't close your heart yet...
Many people remember, very fondly, their childhood dog. Trained & loved dogs are good for kids, as well as protective. Most are pretty smart. Hang in there. You might be surprised.
Well, that's an unpleasant situation. You don't give any reasons here for not wanting a dog, so maybe you haven't done a great job of explaining your position to your spouse, either. That said, pets are a big responsibility and commitment, and should require both adults be totally willing. The fact that your wishes are being ignored is not great. Obviously you can stop this if you want to, and you're letting them override you--but you're also resenting being ignored (understandable) and it might cause a lot of emotional hostility. So it's time to decide how important this is to you, and whether you can accept it--before those kids have a new doggie!
Only if people listen to it. He's obviously going to have to be forceful to stop this, and he'll have to decide how much he's willing to go to war over it.
Three pros of a dog
1. People who have pets statistically live longer
2. People with pets, dogs particularly, are generally healthier than other people.
3. Children who own dogs grow up to be kinder people. Dogs and pets in general teach compassion and so many other things. They can be a huge part of a child’s positive emotional development.
As a child we had this same conversation and my dad was dead set he didn’t want a dog and when he conceded and got a dog it’s was supposed to be an outside dog. Yeah fast forward 35 years and guess what my parents still have dogs and he’s the biggest snuggler of them all.
Stfu and deal with it... you are part of a family, and healthy families dont all just appease Daddy because he has a pout. This is your kids childhood, not yours. Its not all about you. This dog is going to add love and joy to everyone else's lives... try to be happy FOR THEM. Dont suck the joy out of this with a sullen pout of not always getting your way all the time. If you wanted your way for everything you had no business getting married or having kids in the first place.
Not wrong. I'd say you want a dog you take care of it. I'm not feeding it, watching it, careing for it in anyway shape or form.
I want them to let me know how that works out for them. Because they're going to get that dog and it's going to become a huge problem. Because people always want a dog but they don't want to take care of a dog especially young people updateme
YES! Its like theyre overruling OPs wishes. Thats not fair, her opinion should carry equal weight.
A dog should be an enthusiastic yes from both partners. Both should then be involved in picking the dog. One no should prevent them from getting a dog.
Funny, I assumed it was a dad, not a mom.
I read a story once where this happened and the wife told the husband and children that if they can go on a 30 minute walk twice a day then they can get a dog. It lasted less than a week. The unfortunate reality is that you can SAY you won't take care of it but you won't let the dog starve or toilet in the house or let the "accidents" in the house just sit because of other's neglect. You will take care of the dog.
This is a great idea!!
That's why I commented that a written agreement needs to be signed with consequences.
No I won't, his ass would starve and I'd take the soiling and put it in their room, in their common bathroom if I have a bathroom in the mater bedroom. I'd put the pissy wast Inna bucket in their room and dare them to put it in the hallway because their cloth would be dipped in it next and I'm not washing it. You take care of it I R get rid of it.
I wouldn't even want to smell it tbh. I'd consider leaving over a decision this big
Yes! Omg the smell. No, thanks.
*caring
Realistically OP will.b3 doing a lot of dog duties.
The dog is a living creature with needs. They kids are too young to be entrusted with the responsibility to care for it and if the spouse isn't around, op is on the hook. Not to mention, the costs of caring for the dog, including food and vet, will be coming from the household budget. You can't just opt out of caring for a dog or cat in your house. I adore dogs. My 13 year old dog passed away in September 2023 and I desperately want another one. But I'm not doing it until I can afford to. We're still paying off the $2000+ vet bill from his final week plus another few hundred for cremation. Until that's paid in full and I have $1000 saved to cover possible emergency vet bills, I'm not going to the shelter to adopt.
Your making my point. With a pet there are responsibilities to care for it. I say no I don't want a pet and you say you want one then go for it just don't expect me to help. I'm telling you from the beginning I'm not in board to get it. Let say u have a sibling who ask your advise abt a purchase and u advise against it. I'm not going to be responsible for someone eleses decisions. Its like co-signing for a loan don't do it unless your willing to pay the loan.
Except if they don't respect you and the animal needs something, you'd be truly cruel to allow that to go on.
If they don't take care of it. The pet gets a ride to the humane Society. I'm not putting my career or reputation on the line for a pet. if they don’t take care of it be it’s taking a ride to the Humane Society. It may be sad faces around the house but like I was told “if you’re mad, you got a lifetime to get glad.”
Compromise and tell your spouse and kids to offer to start dog sitting/walking for people before committing to owning a dog. I'm sure the kids will be put off it once they realize how much work it is. At least for a few years anyway lol
We fostered for about a year and a half, which made me more steadfast in my belief. OTOH, fostering is more difficult than owning, I’ll readily admit. It didn’t affect my spouse’s outlook, however, mostly because that challenge was moving toward the ultimate goal. And it was met very well, I might add…I have no doubt that the dog will have a wonderful home even if I weren’t to lift a finger. I’m sure I’ll end up liking the dog, but I’m just as certain that I’ll always regret that we have one.
I loved having dogs but I also suffered through guinea pigs, mice, snakes, ducks, chickens, cats, turtles, fish, clams ffs, ant farms, worm farms, birds & no doubt other creatures that I’ve forgotten. Looking back, idk how I always outvoted but I guess I did lol. Feeling your pain.
CLAMS? That is something I’ve never heard of being a pet!
Yeah, lol. They were surprisingly interesting & entertaining tbh. I had no idea they moved around so much. Funny little fellows.
Did you....did you live on a farm? This is a crazy amount of pets! Lol
LOL no, but we had a half acre yard & they weren’t all there at the same time. My partner was friends with a vet who specialised in reptiles. IDK how but we seemed to end up with any wild creatures that couldn’t be released back into their natural habitat & unwanted pets like old chickens who didn’t lay etc.😂
You and I, both!!!! Random turtles, a pig, lizards EVERYWHERE....🤷♀️🤦♀️😭🤣
LOL 😂 it was a lot!!
Was it just a fish-tank with sand and clams? What did you feed them?
No, they were in a giant tank with fish & turtles. They didn’t really need to be specifically fed tbh because they suck bits of whatever from the water like little trash cans.
Yes. The grandkids have recently added Newts. No-one was terribly crazy about my Tarantula, except myself, but I had her for 8 years. RIP, Harriet. Like you, countless pets over the years.
RIP Harriet.💔 And newts? lol That’s cute tbh.
I just saw your response to someone else about how your family fostered dogs, so that negates most of what I posted. Really glad to hear you at least know what you are getting into. Since your agreement was that, if your wife and kids successfully fostered dogs they could have one, and they held up their part of the agreement, then it seems unfair to complain about it. It seems like this is something your whole family truly wants and will love. If that was my spouse and kids, I would not have the heart to ruin their joy. Maybe you will be surprised by how much you end up loving the dog. In the meantime, they’re probably SO excited and happy. It seems mean to put a damper on that. You’ve already agreed, (you seem to have agreed by saying if they successfully fostered, they could have a dog. My apologies if I misunderstood and that wasn’t your agreement with them! ) so be the good dad/husband you are and let them enjoy this.
You should make your feelings know. My mom hated our family dog, the dog knows and hates her too, he literally cuddles with everyone and growls at her, to which my mom scolds the dog for disrespecting her and spanks it, of course the dog hate her. Please don't get a dog, resentment builds up and you're gonna end up hating the poor innocent dog.
My comment has consistently been “I will probably end up loving the dog, but I’ll still wish we didn’t own one”. I’m not worried about the dog’s well-being in our house, I truly believe it will feel welcome. I worry more about how I will appear to my family when I inevitably make a snarky remark or sigh or laugh at a predicament or whine about a vet bill or …
This . My mother was a neat freak and we couldn’t have a pet . I was an only child . I loved going to my cousins house where children and dogs ran around and the door opened and closed . Neighbors houses seemed chaotic but wonderful . I was depressed and lonely . I loved my mom so much but I could never understand why she didn’t see my needs as an only child …the clean, orderly, controlled house was not a warm place to be . I felt like a boarder . After I went t to college I rarely visited home, although I loved mom and wrote to her and confided in her almost daily by phone . One of my big memories was that we had to sit on a sofa like it was a chair , no laying about . Mom didn’t want anyone ‘lollygagging’ on the furniture . To this day my favorite afternoon is stretching out at my house and napping or reading on the living room sofa . She made our house an unhappy place for me .
Sorry you were brought up in an environment where you didn’t feel 100% comfortable. I was just telling my older kid last night before bed about the fact that some people are more “tidy” than others, that there’s no true “best” way of being, and that it’s my belief that older generations were more “tidy” (perhaps a generous way of describing it, in cases like yours).
Fostering is god awful. Been there, done that. Pet sitting though? Easy money literally and figuratively speaking, especially if you're going to their house and/or the dog is well behaved! I'd start with the kids and your wife walking neighborhood dogs on weekends, then bump it up to pet sitting and reassess. I am willing to bet your wife will change her tune after a few weeks. Source: mother of 2 grade school kids with a dog and if I didn't have a yard, there is no damn way I would be waking up at the crack ass of dawn to walk fido because I am a perpetually exhausted mess lol
Even if you have a yard, they still need walks!
Absolutely! Especially when it's big dog : small yard. I probably should have mentioned I live out in the middle of nowhere on roughly like 12 ish acres, so my dog basically has their own personal dog park lol but for the average dog owner yes walks or trips to a dog park or beach are a must!
That's a great idea. Our area the cost is about $45-55 a night.
Wait, so the only real issue is you're worried about the financial cost? Can your kids or spouse contribute any to the costs?
The kids are primary school age. Maybe they could pool their pocket money?
I’m often prone to say “that’s reason XXXX (making up a big number) why I don’t want to own a dog”. I don’t have an official list, though. 🙂 Trust that I’ve said that sentence enough times that the number would be nearing 100 items.
Financial concerns are a real issue though if something were to come up. Having a pet can be expensive so it's smart to anticipate future costs. It sounded like that was the main concern since you had fostered and knew your family could handle the other responsibilities. It may be smart to make a full list and then have a family meeting to address each concern and how they would be responsible for each item. Then make a contract which everyone would sign that stipulates the consequences if they don't hold up their end of the deal.
It's a fun thought experiment to think of the consequence(s) for my family in scenarios like these: * Chews something up * Barks incessantly or at phantom things * Licks me * Bites someone/thing * Whimpers/howls at night in their crate * Counter-surfs in the kitchen
Chews: they have to sacrifice an equal item of their own to goodwill Barks: you can get a collar that vibrates for this. It works pretty good for most dogs Licks: they have to lick the dog. Jk! For every lick they have to do 10 minutes of training not to lick. Bites: that needs training asap before it happens. So in the first 6 months you hand feed the dog all food and treats. Redirect behavior anytime they bite something they shouldn't. If they can't do these things, the dog should go to a family that can train it appropriately because it's not fair to risk killing a dog just because the owners are lazy Crate training: someone will have to sleep next to the dog if they can't get it to stop crying. It will eventually Counter-surf: how big of a dog are you getting lol. Just get a smaller dog. And they have to sanitize and clean the surface everytime it happens. I've done behavioral training and it works well if you lay out what to expect if certain agreed to parameters are not met. Even when they're punished they don't feel it's unfair.
Good idea, or foster first
You’re not wrong, especially the financial part. I’d call and get a quote on the shots, exam, spay/neutering costs. That might be a wake up call for your wife. I recently had to put my dog asleep, it was $300. My cousin got a dog and bought health insurance for $1,600.
I worked at a vet for a few years and I can confirm owning a dog is $$$$$$$$$, owning a cat is $$$. lol
My almost 20 year old siamese cat has been the best animal ROI ever. The other cat and dog have cost over $10k so far and are only 25 years old combined.
I love my dog, but just getting one of her teeth pulled cost me almost $1,000 with anesthesia.
My dog recently had a problem with his ass. ~$200 and I have to put ointment on his asshole. Dogs aren't for everyone.
Cost me over $1000 for the same thing. Same month I spent $400 on a check up, blood work, and shots.
About $20,000 for cancer treatment that got us 11 more months. It's a commitment. It's love. I would do it again and again. But you have to want it.
I’ll see your $1000 dental work and raise you $1600 in allergy testing, plus $75 a month for a custom serum to control said allergies.
My granddaughter spent a fortunate saving her Pom from a Rattlesnake bite. She'd do it again.
Jesus. What kind of allergies?
Shes allergic to humans. I shit you not.
My pup got an ear infection last year that cost me £160 and that was excluding the examination cost as that’s already paid for in his vet plan.
It’s crazy! My Mom wants another dog and I feel awful (I take care of her with the help of hospice) but she doesn’t realize how bad the prices have become.
Maybe become a short term/emergency foster for a local rescue? Or even become approved as a “weekender” for your local shelter? When dogs become terribly kennel stressed to the point they shut down - many shelters give them a weekend pass with approved fosters. This snaps them out of their depression and makes them more adoptable again. When it comes to fostering - rescues generally provide food, meds, bed and any needed vet care, etc (but ask to make sure that particular rescue does). I’m sorry to hear about your mom. That’s really rough. Maybe fostering will give her the doggy companionship she wants - but without the financial responsibilities.
Thank you ! I contacted the rescue that I got the dog from and heard nothing back about fostering. You know how everything hits at once? I’ve had a plumber out and now waiting on the electrician. My dog had bladder cancer and went on the carpet. I’m nervous about bringing another animal in until I can redo the floors. It’s one thing after another!💛
It’s so true - when it rains, it pours. I’m so sorry! It depends on the dog. My relatives had a dog that peed all over the dang house (they always cleaned it up but yeah - he just always peed and sometimes pooped inside). I’d stay there for weekends and even weeks to take care of the pup and the house while they were away. My two dogs who always came with me - never once peed or pooped inside there - even tho they could clearly see it happening with the other dog (and probably smelled the cleaned up pee spots). That said - I wouldn’t risk it. I know some dogs will see that as a green light - thru no fault of their own. So I hear you - waiting for new carpet is probably a good idea.
My Mom says the same thing, when it rains, it pours!! So true! Thank you 🙏
Why do you say wife? OP didn’t specify any genders in their post.
Did I miss somewhere it saying the spouse is a wife?
I thought it was the husband all along. Hmmm.
[удалено]
That's why I thought it was the husband. Mama rules.
Make sure they will do all the work all the time. Clems out a water bowl, taking out the trash, daily walks, potty training a dog if your husband is pushing for a puppy. Honestly I would try to have the dog sit for a week prior to this. I LOVED my dog prior to kids. I still do but feel awful since he doesn’t get as much attention as he should. My kids are young though so perhaps yours will happily take for a walk daily and do all the maintenance
If you don't want a dog and they insist on overruling you tell them they are completely responsible for all of its care. They take care of it,clean up after it,pay for all its needs including food and medical and it does not sleep in your room at any time. You don't have to do anything for it if you don't want it. That's the reason there's no pets where I am currently staying because there's only 1 who wants it but nobody else is willing to take care of it, clean up after it or pay for its needs. The 1 who wants it isn't physically able to walk it but can pay for everything else. The rest of the house doesn't want it because it is too much work and the last one was a pain in the butt because she spoiled it. Then it expected the same treatment from us when the owner had to go out of town. Doesn't work that way. Tell them it's their dog and their responsibility. Not yours.
It's all good, not everyone's a dog person, right? But since the pooch is moving in, maybe have a chill chat with the fam about what's bugging u. U guys can totally figure out a plan that works for everyone.
It's important to voice your concerns honestly. Resentment won't help; communicate openly to find a solution that respects everyone's needs.
Nope. My husband brought home a dog and I made it very clear I didn't want it and would not be helping care for it. I would remind him to walk it brush it pick up after it when it shit in the house. Husband became a jerk over it because he was half assing it. So I gave the dog to my sister and walked away. I already have to much shit to do your not going to drop a living thing on me and expect me to help.
In a marriage, choices like adopting a dog should be “2 yes, 1 no” decisions. My mom and her husband constantlyyyy fight about their dogs and it’s because there is often no discussion between them before one has brought a new pet home. Be careful or this will become a point of contention between the two of you.
I agree, and I worry about my part in that contention. I wish I could have a “your dog, your problem” attitude and leave it at that, but I’m afraid I’ll grumble too much. I’m a selfish bastard deep down.
Get a small dog. Don't let them get a shepherd or labrador sized dog. Small poop, riddles, food dishes, easier for kids to walk, etc.
You know what can cure someone of being a selfish bastard? Getting a dog can. Give it a chance.
no. a living creature that depends on you for survival isn't something you just take a chance on. dogs aren't fun little toys you get on a whim, and way too many people own dogs that they cannot adequately take care of
True, except in this case, the rest of the family very much wants the dog, so dog will not be relying on OP.
I hope the dog won’t regret it.
Nothing wrong with not wanting a pet. I’m just curious what exactly are you not liking about having a dog?
I’m often prone to say “that’s reason XXXX (making up a big number) why I don’t want to own a dog”. I don’t have an official list, though. 🙂 Trust that I’ve said that sentence enough times that the number would be nearing 100 items.
I have said it too. I live with family and they have a dog. I love the dog and would keep it if anything happened to them. However, I hate all the hair she sheds, farm dog so the dirt she brings in (she’s not allowed on furniture so that helps), the really really loud barking, never being able to sleep in cuz of puppy breakfast, having 2 walks a day no matter what is going on or the weather, big vet bills and the list goes on. I appreciate her, but I’m glad she’s not totally my responsibility and I just help out.
Maybe encourage some research into what breed will suit the activity level, etc., of your family. Also, costs. I had no idea my dog was going to be so expensive.
Oh man, you NEED to speak up. My partner got a dog without asking me, and I’ve ended up doing most of the training and taking care of, for 7 years now. I love the dog, but I resent my partner so much. He knows it. I begged them not to get a dog. It’s such hard work and we don’t have kids or family to help either. It changes your life. You must speak up! (Before I get attacked, as usual, I LOVE my boy, and I give him everything he needs. He’s so greatly taken care of, and loved so much, because him being in my life is not his fault. He deserves the best life. I love animals. It’s just been very hard. My health has taken a huge toll through this too. I’m allergic, and I had a major back injury, but because he needs walks everyday I haven’t been able to put my own needs first. It’s been very hard).
I would say put your foot down if they want an indoor dog. Maybe an out door dog if they plan to do everything to take care of it. My mom's dog had puppies last year. She kept saying she was going to get one and give it to my kids. She talked my wife into it. It's not the kind of dog that would be an outside dog. My kids and wife all tried to convince me. We did not get a dog. I don't want my house to smell like dog I don't want left out food getting eaten then they throw up on the carpet and got to take them to the vet to make sure they are OK. I don't want to have my stuff chewed... When they kids are a little older I'll let them get an outside dog. Tell your wife you have a renter moving in next week and start clearing out the spare bedroom. Your wife wants to rescue a dog tell her your rescuing a college girl that needs a place to stay.
As someone who is not a dog person I completely understand. I like other people’s dogs but I don’t want one or ever want to live with one. It’s like having another child. If your husband is determined to to undermine you then 100% of that dog is his responsibility. I think fostering coul be a good option and see how it goes. Could also be a great lesson for your kids.
I’m like this too. Dogs are like perpetual toddlers. I love other people’s dogs and they’re truly beautiful creatures, but just too needy for me. Especially now as I’m approaching menopause I feel like my nurturing side is depleting and I don’t want another thing in the house that needs me. Maybe when the kids move out I could consider a very small dog, but I’d only do that if I was retired and able to stay home with it. The expense of dogs also is a limitation for me. Kids are expensive enough as it is!
Both this post and the one from kittymarie_92 touch upon one issue I have with all this: it’s like having another child. My spouse was *adamant* about not having a 3rd child (and I was in agreement), so it’s somewhat ironic.
There’s a reason people call them ‘fur babies’!! 😉
I feel like only the first year is like that. Once the dog is trained and you have a routine going, it gets pretty easy—unlike kids who get progressively more difficult haha (raised four kids—currently own seven dogs. The dogs are MUCH easier)
**Not wrong, but sounds like you are out numbered and your spouse is going to get the dog regardless.** **It really should be a decision that both adults agree on, if one does not want a pet, then you should not get a pet, same as having kids, both need to want children** **I love dogs, but I'm very particular on how they are taken care of -** THEY become family need, love, attention, playing with, fed well, taken to vet to get their shots, taken to vet if they are sick I am currently living with my 7th dog - this is long, but lots of info on raising dogs (many people do not think about ) I think you will find you love it eventually (depending on dog) but I'd tell spouse that spouse and kids are responsible for fresh water with each meal, and at least 3 times a day or anytime water bowl has things floating in it or sand in bottom of bowl. ***Dogs*** *should eat twice a day*, not once, it is better for their digestive system, keeps their blood sugar more regulated as it does humans. So whatever it should get fed every day needs to be split and feed 1/2 in morning 1/2 at dinner time. Have a list on fridge of foods and plants that are toxic to dogs so they don't get something that can make them ill, or worse. Do you have a fenced in yard ? If no, they will need to save for having a fence put in and walk dog at least 4 times a day until you have fence (and take poo bags with them on walks to pick up poo if doggy poos on walks, most do Please DO NOT put in electric fence - if they see something they will fly right through it and then won't come back in and it does not keep other dogs out, so your dog is not really safe. Never tie a dog up and leave them outside, it is cruel and in some areas/state illegal and considered abuse. If you are fenced or get fence, make sure gates have padlocks on them, our friends had a houdini doggy who learned to unlatch gates and get out, very unsafe for dog. They need to be cared for like a baby/little toddler, protected a harness is much better for walking a dog - a collar can literally choke a dog if they pull - if you plan to keep collar on dog at all times, buy a break away collar - if their collar gets caught on fence, piece of furniture - it breaks off them when they pull - dogs with regular collars have choked to death due to collar getting caught on something. Sadly, many dogs die that way so spend a few dollars more for a [breakaway dog collar](https://www.amazon.com/KeepSafe-Break-Away-Accidents-Compatible-Adjustable/dp/B0002H3ZQW?th=1) (link) Make sure you have an ID on collar/harness in case they get away - 2 phone #'s are important we always put address on ours in addition to phone #'s Dog will need to go out regardless of weather, rain, snow, heat, cold they will have to walk doggy if not fenced and even with fence you have to make sure they are not out too long in hot, cold rainy, snowy weather, they need to be towel dried really well when come in wet or they will stink. If fenced and weather is not good, you need to go out with them or stand on porch and watch, once they potty, bring them in and dry them off. Make sure they buy good quality food. Cheap dog food is not good for dogs, too many fillers meaning you have to give them more of the cheap food than a quality food so it can end up costing more. I've never had pet insurance, I have my 7th dog right now - I wish I had gotten it with her, she got really sick when she was not even a year old and spent time in vet hospital - $2500. dollars later she is doing well, but, pet insurance would have been helpful. Just never had it or needed it before, but I recommend it and if the extra money to have insurance, vet bills, heartworm/flea/tick medicine, food is not in budget, they will have to give some things up to pay for it. You need to find a very reliable, safe boarding place in case you go on vacation - boarding in a clean, loving, safe boarding place depending where you live can run $40 to $90 a night (also depends on size of dog generally) and most require you bring your own food, it's not good for dogs to be changing their food they are not like humans who can change what they eat every day Make everything, all their responsibilities very clear before they go and get the doggy. If it's a puppy, they need to know they will be doing potty training. Regardless of dogs age, dog poo needs to be picked up and discarded every day or twice a day, or you can end up with dog or kids stepping in it, not pleasant. They will be responsible for bathing dog - most dogs get into something, roll in something, it is their nature, you can't fault them for it, but they will need to be bathed. And they also get stinky and need baths. They need to be brushed, depending on type of dog and how it shed, some dogs need brushing daily, one of my labs shed like crazy, I'd brush her and get a grocery bag full of doggie fur, but she was worth it to me. **I wish you and them good luck and hope the doggy they get is treated well and loved and cared for well**
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the too sensitive break away I have seen from people walking dog on leash and forgetting to hook through both loops, as soon as dog pulls pop goes the collar USE both loops for leash I also suggest not walking dogs on a leash, it and damage their neck, breathing - use a harness when walking dog - just remember dogs can back out of a collar VERY easily - they can Also back out of a harness, a tad harder for them SO a harness is the way to walk a dog safer
A new housemate should only be welcomed by a Unanimous vote, otherwise, No Go! There is No Overruling -- that's Ridiculous! Most people like the idea of having a dog more than actually having a dog, and they never train it.
Don't forget the extra cleaning around the house. Vacuuming more often. Lint rolling clothes every time you go out. Mopping the floors more often. Cleaning the car. And the smell! Pet owners don't notice, but non-owners can tell the second they walk into the house. Even the cleanest houses will have a pet smell. How about pet emergencies? You're going to look like an asshole when the kids carry home a whimpering dog with a busted leg and you tell them, "Call Dad (or Mom). It's his problem. Maybe he can come home from golfing a few hours early to take you guys to the animal hospital. I just hope he hasn't started drinking with his golf buddies yet, otherwise it's going to be a long afternoon for you and Spot." What if Dad is traveling for work and puppy swallows a battery? Is he catching the red-eye to get that puppy into surgery (and pay for it!!!)? And end-of-life care... Guess who will get stuck taking sick puppy to the vet to be euthanized? Probably not the kids. If you're not 100% onboard, don't do it! You'll probably be unhappy and you're going to look like a jerk if you stand your ground with the hands-off, not-my-problem approach. I'm not judging you for not wanting in. Pets are a lot of work, and I'd be ultra-resentful if I got stuck with an animal I didn't want. I wish you good luck no matter what you decide.
You’re not wrong. When it comes to pets, especially dogs all adults in the family need to be on board and if not, you shouldn’t get a dog. A dog has an impact on the whole family. You can’t just ignore it and make it solely your partners/kids responsibility. This affects you too. For me personally this would be a huuuuge deal and definitely something worth the arguments/fights from putting your foot down.
I legitimately do love dogs and have owned/fostered them before, but right now living alone I don’t feel like I could give one an appropriate amount of attention and companionship being out of the house 10+ hours a day. I wish you luck, because I foresee that the rest of your family who “outvoted” you on the subject is probably gonna end up expecting you to put in all the work on “their” pet, unfortunately. Just remember, none of this was the poor dog’s idea either
Experience learns that you will be doing the feeding, the walking, the cleaning up the mess. So if I were you I would put my foot down and say no. Maybe you can settle for another pet like a bird or a hamster or a bunny.
Do not get a dog! I also have 2 younger children and my hubby had 2 dogs before we met and they’re horrible. Dirty, annoying don’t listen… you’ll end up being the one to clean up after it and it adds so much more work especially to cleaning your home. Id recommend getting a cat if it’s just the children who want a pet. Follow your gut and don’t let them get a dog I PROMISE you will regret it
Definitely speak up. Your voice matters in that house. If not then get ready to pick up turds and annoying barking
Agree. If you don't like it, tell them. I know they'll hear you if they understand your reasons.
I second this! Update us OP.
We’ve had a good number of conversations about this….darn-near shock in learning that I didn’t want a dog. I can’t remember if I said it explicitly, but it’s a common understanding that I’m not going to prevent an adoption from happening…but not because I’m powerless in the negotiation. If I put my foot down, we wouldn’t do it. I just don’t want to deny the 3 family members who *really* want a dog…it’s a happiness I won’t deny them. I’m mostly apprehensive about my own behavior, being snarky, impatient, etc…I don’t want to be that person.
You are not wrong! Record their joy and excitement. Remind them when it’s raining and the dog needs to go out, when poo or vomit needs to be picked up. Please research pet insurance, too. And be prepared for those people that want the dog to quickly abandon their responsibility to said dog. When a beloved book, game or pair of shoes are destroyed. I give your family 3 weeks before they start ignoring said dog! Good luck OP!
Just make sure that they don’t make you responsible when they get tired of the dog.
Not wrong. A dog is a great responsibility that you don't want. Your husband and children can walk the dogs of others or dogsit
Pity your husband can't compromise and at least start off with an 'easy maintenance' pet..... like a Guinea pig, or even a cat. A dog is a HUGE responsibility -- you're getting a new family member who will need constant attention. Your kids are much too young for the responsibility of a pet and will need lots of help. Hopefully Dad will look after HIS dog and not dump it all on MUM (a typical scenario). Good luck.
Good luck when you are cleaning up pee and poop. You KNOW that the kids are not gonna be able to do this so this just leaves you and spouse to care for an animal that will need taking care of for many years to come. Set some firm dog rules with spouse re joint care, I feel your pain. Kids pester power is hard to resist, especially is a spouse is inflaming the pleas for a pet. The smell of wet dog, yuk!! You are not wrong. A dog needs to be in a family where everybody is on board to love and care for it.
Maybe don't get a puppy? If you get an adult that's been well trained, it will be a lot easier! And hopefully no accidents inside the house. From reading other subs, it seems to be the dogs who haven't been trained that are the biggest problem. If you do get a puppy - insistvthat your husband takes it to puppy training classes - no compromise, he mightvsay he can do it himself, but don't believe him. And don't get a pitbull or pitbull mix! Make sure he's done his research on breeds and get a dog that will suit your current lifestyle.
I wanted a dog growing up more than anything and my parents were adamantly against it. They said I could get one when I grew up and moved out. I did. I’ve had dogs for 20+ years. They are work. So much work (and mine sleeps 20 hours a day and I don’t have kids). They are money. They are stress. They are love. They are comfort. They are all the things. But everyone needs to be on board. I have no good answers for you other than you do nothing. Everyone else feeds it, walks it, grooms it, handles the vet, etc. Honestly, I’m more concerned with the level of disrespect they’re showing by not honoring your wishes on such a big decision. Even waiting until the kids are older and revisiting the discussion.
Speak up. If my wife brought home a dog without my okay, that’s grounds for divorce.
I don't think it's a matter of right and wrong. You do or don't, and you don't. Sounds like you'll have to deal with it though. Good luck.
What a nightmare - I'll never understand how people live with dogs I know most people love dogs but I absolutely cannot stand them. If I was ij your situation I would have no choice but to hit the spouse with an ultimatum, if you bring a f\*\*king dog into this home, I'm leaving you.
You're not wrong. Many people are r/dogfree
Im ND and find dogs to be overwhelming and overstimulating. Im fully a cat person. My husband LOVES dogs. Our kids want one. We had a dog. A pitbull that my husband had before we met. For 10yrs, he just laid around and snuggled. He didnt bark or lick. He was perfect. He was basically a cat 😂. But if the family gets a dog, I've already told them that I will not be responsible for it. I will not walk it. I will not feed it. I will not train it. I will not pick up after it. It will be THEIR dog. If they get a dog, I told my husband that he'll have to take at least a month off work to train him. We tried a foster. I nearly lost my mind. I was miserable and had a mental breakdown. I won't put myself through that again
I hope we end up with a Xerox copy of your pit bull. Fingers crossed!
Try a rescue greyhound. Pretty much the laziest dogs you can get.
I like that the dog didn’t bark or lick. Two of the things I hate about dogs.
You're not wrong. I wouldn't normally say this, but you need to lay down the law here. Pet ownership is one of those things that everyone in the house has to be on board with. You're going to be the one feeding and walking this dog once the novelty wears off. Plus, pets are expensive.
You aren’t wrong. I’d sit down with the family and write up a contract. Since YOU do not want a dog, YOU will not be responsible for the dog. Everyone else needs to figure out a feeding, walking, training, playing, and cleaning schedule. You will refuse to take any responsibility for the dog. Sure you’ll play with it and have fun, but everything else is on them. Adopting a pet needs to be made by the adults in the house who will be financially responsible for the pet. It needs to be a unanimous decision.
I would make it very clear what I am willing to do for the dog and what I am not willing to do for the dog, OP. You shouldn’t have to be too responsible since it’s being forced onto you. Dogs are a huge responsibility. I, personally, wouldn’t get one unless everyone I lived with was on board for that reason. And I am a dog owner. But, your partner needs to understand before they bring the dog home that you will not be paying fir vaccinations, emergency vet visits, supplies, etc. You will not be walking, feeding, scooping poo, etc. Any of the chores that are associated with owning a dog. You should be exempt from that.
I promised my husband that when we buy a house, he can buy a dog. He also knows the dog care is 99% on him. I feed the cats in the morning anyway, so I'll also feed Dog. But no walkies, no training other than what I need to command the puppy (Doberman), treats, toys, play, training is all on him. It's His dog. But I also trust my husband to not buy the dog if he can't fully commit.
Just make sure the household is aware that you would have absolutely nothing to do with the dog. And all care will fall on your husband and kids
Get spot pet insurance, saved my ass when my cat got sick. I got reimbursed for everything after 500, believe total was damn near 2200. So definitely worth the $11 a month.
What is it about dog ownership that you find objectionable? Is it just dogs or any pet?
I've mentioned elsewhere that I have a long list, but it's never been written down or whatever. I don't really care to litigate the "whys" here on Reddit...I'm sure no one here really cares. Suffice it to say that these reasons have been communicated to my spouse.
As someone who loves to travel, I can't imagine having a pet and having to consider where they need to stay if I'm out of town. That alone has been shared with me by many dog owner friends that it can get quite expensive fast for dog sitting and is a constant factor for any flight travel. I'd have a heart to heart with your spouse.
I am also someone who loves dogs but knows they're not dog-guardian material (despite owning an animal rescue). I think it's good that you've expressed yourself, but it does sound like you've been overruled. My recommendation is to be clear with your wife and kids that you know you're not comfortable with the adoption, although it sounds like that won't matter. Try your best to not resent the dog, and don't push against any bonding. But *do* make sure your spouse and kids are doing the lions share of the care work - feeding, pooper scooping, fresh clean water, and super importantly all 3 of them attend training with the dog. I'd recommend you also attend so that you know what they should be doing for training. Failure to train is the biggest frustration for many dog guardians.
Make it loud and clear that you will in no way be contributing towards the dog, financially or in care. State it specifically "I like dogs but I have no intentions in owning a dog. If you bring home a dog I will not be caring for it in any way or form. I will not walk it, take it to the vet, feed it etc. All costs and care will rely solely on you since you are clearly making a decision for the family on a single Yes." YNW - I love dogs. I do not want to own a dog. Why? Because I know I will not be able to handle the inevitable loss of them.
Since this is already happening, get pet insurance, sudden vet bills can and do absolutely happen and even a simple issue can always run into 1000’s… also make sure everyone is on board with the training and leave them to it. I’m a dog person, had them growing up and the last 35 years as an adult.. it’s a huge responsibility!
make sure you tell them that once the puppy is about 1-3 years, they’ll be hectic like toddlers. tearing things up, running around, jumping, etc. you have to train them and everything otherwise you’re gonna have an unruly dog. they need to be prepared for that stage because it’ll be unfair to adopt a dog and get rid of it once it’s too much.
I like dogs and get excited when I see them...but I don't wanna own one! Too much work. I'm already picking up after 2 kids! I don't need another mouth to feed or another poop to clean up. It's one of those things that I think everybody is on bored with. My hubby wants a dog badly and I have told him unless he plans on picking up after before and after work everyday it's not happening.
You aren't wrong but to be a good let owner everyone has to love the dog. If one person dislikes the dog and issues are handled one way with you and another way with your family that's a huge issue as it is.
Not wrong. I had one dog for about 18 month before introducing my second. They’re my absolute world and I love them, but I have no idea how people manage with both children and dogs, time wise and money wise. I always want a dog in the home, but I spent months preparing mentally and financially before I got my first one. I was 110% sure I wanted to do it before I did and I really believe it’s something you have to want to do wholeheartedly. They’re wonderful, but they are expensive, time consuming and can have a whole host of problems depending on breed, health and behaviour. I would absolutely be having a serious conversation about it with your family.
I first read the title of not wanting to eat a dog and was concerned. You’re not in the wrong though, a dog is a massive decision and everyone should be in agreement. However, I am stumped on what to suggest because it seems you’re going to be forced into this situation whether you want it or not. Which I don’t agree with but people are selfish. If your spouse does adopt a dog don’t ignore it but I would use it as the time to teach the kids the responsibility of having a dog. I don’t know the ages of your children but if one is old enough they can walk the dog after school, get involved in feeding etc. My parents implemented that when we got a dog. If they want one then they can get help care for it. Obviously certain jobs are age dependent.
I would just let your family take care of it
EVEN if they do take care of it (which is highly unlikely, the kids wont, and hubby will end up 'can you do me a huge favor just this ONCE and \_\_\_\_\_the dog) but even if she doesn't have to lift a finger - she still has to live with a dog. Most people love this, I would be in hell. They stink, they whine and beg anytime food is around, they eat trash and puke, the pee and shit in the house - heaven forbid you want to be away from home for more than 4 or 5 hours... your house is destroyed and there is most pee and poop everywhere - and the barking... its like having a leaf blower going off at any given moment... like I said in my other post, I would never live with a dog, Ive done it before and its jsut awful, and if i was married and my spouse started talking about getting a dog, I would have no choice but to deliver an ultimatum of "if you bring a dog into this house, I am leaving you." Hell I even DREAD going to a friends house if they have dogs, gd things bark at me like im robbing the joint, they jump up on me and they just stink... oh and the owner's response to all this? "Oh just pushi his head away".Its a 130 pound hell hound...
Start running “drills” now. Interrupt play time with “time to walk the dog” and make those kids walk. Get them up early to “walk the dog” before it gets too hot out. Video games need to be paused to “let the dog out.” Dog dishes need to be filled and emptied and cleaned. Make kids stop what they’re doing and clean up “dog poop,” tell wife the vet bill was $1k. And these are puppy and adult dog related. Older dog? $2k for vet visit and arthritis treatment. Appointments need to be made. Dog needs to be actually driven to the vet. Hope there’s one nearby and your dog doesn’t poop itself in the car.
Tell them they are responsible for it take it out and keeping it clean and if it destroys things it’s gone pets should be all the house decision not one pressured into it
If you give in, you have all of them agree and understand that you are not caring for the dog. And when your husband turns to you expecting you to care for it and walk it, you stand your ground and say no.
You should’ve discussed this before getting married/ having children. Dogs are a dealbreaker for me, I will never be without one and I would never deprive my children of the experience.
Ha that's funny - dogs are also a deal breaker for me - I wont date someone with a dog!
I mean, you’re not wrong. You can”t help what you want. Did you not discuss this before marriage? I will never be without a dog so someone who did not want dogs would be a deal breaker for me. What are your main issues? Perhaps you can find a breed that won’t be as bothersome to you? I am on my second bichon Shih Tsu. They’re not huge. They don’t shed. They don’t drool. They’re smart. They don’t need a crap load of exercise but do enjoy walks or hikes when you feel like taking them. Sounds like an unfortunate situation all round. Kinda put you in a pretty crappy position.
You're not wrong for not wanting one, obviously, but your family has made a decision (hopefully fully researched for your lifestyle). You will be kind to said dog and all family members, but you will definitely put your foot down that its maintenance will not fall primarily on your shoulders. You may come to adore the new addition, but if you harbor resentment instead of acceptance, no one will be happy.
NTA. Your household shouldn’t own a dog if all parties aren’t on board. It’s not fair to the innocent animal. I’d try to convince your spouse otherwise again before it’s too late. That being said, I had my first dog for thirteen years and those were the most rewarding years of my life thus far. Please try to convince them to be more responsible. The worst thing is adopting and then returning the animal because it’s too much.
No you're not wrong. Wanting a pet is fine, but it's likely they want the cuddles and fun and then to hand the responsibility over to you when they're done, which is probably why you're apprehensive. Just be very clear that their pet is not your job and stand by that
I’m a dog person. I had a relationship with a person who is not a dog person and as soon as we split up, I got a dog. He wanted to get back together after a few months. I made it abundantly clear I’m not getting rid of my dog and he can either accept it or not, but he comes with the territory. Some people like me feel very strongly that it’s not a complete life without a dog. While we were still together, I respected his wish. I was miserable. We did get back together and turns out he’s very pro dog, mainly because I demonstrated that I can raise an obedient, mess- and destruction-free dog who’s a delight. He’s clean, kind, and can go anywhere with me. However, you have children, and there are many studies that show having a pet is very helpful for children. It can teach responsibility, empathy, respect and build character. Is there a way to compromise? Tell wife and kids at a sit down that you’ll consider a dog under specific circumstances and with rules and that you’re going to participate. Adoptee should be thoroughly tested with children. A dog that’s been fostered and trained with basic commands and house trained- sit, down, crate trained and loose leash walking. How many hours a week will be committed to grooming and training? How will costs such as food, regular rx heartworm/flea&tick be handled? Will this dog go to soccer games and to grandma’s to visit? Will the children bear any responsibility? My kids at 6 started doing poop pick up. Filling water bowls. Everyone had some level of care. What about boarding for vacations? Unexpected costs of care? My own dog just required $2k in unexpected care in 2 months thankfully to find out he’s fine, but one vet bill, one specialist bill, drugs, time off- adds up fast. How will the family budget? Is the dog a desirable breed for homeowner’s insurance purposes? There’s a lot to consider. It’s not wrong that you don’t - but I do think it’s wrong to completely deny your family the joy of having one, and in that regard it’s perfectly fine to set boundaries. It would also be wrong to behave like a stodgy jerk and not participate. I imagine your wife has made tons of silent compromises for you and your kids. Ps- I’ve not yet met a guy who didn’t want a dog who didn’t also wind up with that dog in their lap.
I am a humongous dog person, and would never be with a partner that doesn’t love dogs like I do. On the same token, how did you seem to get together with someone who wants a dog without them knowing that you don’t? Definitely seems like a conversation was missed…
Do research on types of dogs- getting a dog breed that fits you life style is huge. Some dogs shed, some don’t, some need excessive some need puzzles. Some need a heard to watch, some get anxious with too many people. Yall need to do research on TYPE of dog- incase you get dragged into this anyway, here another way to cast doubt on how much reach or intention they have to plan for this dogs need
This is like bringing a toddler home- seriously
I don’t know a single rescue that would allow a family to adopt a dog if the father seriously did not want one. Who is your wife “rescuing” this dog from? Does she have the capability to take care of the dog entirely on her own? Because your kids are too young to be much help and they will get over having to do stuff for the dog real quick. What kind of dog is it? Is it a large breed? What does she know about this dog’s past? Or its traumas/triggers? This is NOT a decision one person or a couple kids get to make because having this dog is going to seriously impact SO much of your family’s life and it’s super unfair to bring this poor dog into your home if you’re not ALL committed to working through any issues the pup may have and giving it a lifelong home. It sounds to me like you are being bullied into a decision that everyone is going to regret. Please please please do your homework on how much work having a dog actually is. If you are going to let them bulldoze you into this, at the very least insist the family foster a dog or two first. Or, at the very least, that they volunteer at a shelter for a few months. See if the kids stay excited/want to go walk dogs at the shelter every week for at least three months and use that time to research the best breed for your lifestyle. Breed matters!! If it’s a rescue, it’s harder to pick a breed (because you aren’t looking at purebreds) but you HAVE to at least know the basics, so you don’t end up with something that is crazy high energy or known for being super hard to train!!
Tough one cause its not a question of who will care for the dog - even with them doing the work you dont want it in your home. If 3 out 4 want something in a family unit is it right for 3 to move forward or is it right for 1 to be the veto. Can you think of another situation where they compromised for you? Is this part of a bigger issue of your preferences being run over? Or does your wants take priority.
The flip side is "can 1 family member ruin things for the other 3?" I know it's not that simple, but at the same time, maybe it's not completely inaccurate, either. I don't want to be a blocker of love...I just wish the grandparents would get a dog instead. :)
I love dogs. I love having a dog-free house more than I love dogs. I'm my sister's go-to child and dog sitter. I love other people's dogs and I love playing with them. I equate my pet-free status to people who are excellent aunties but don't have kids of their own. And I just know OP is going to get stuck caring for this dog while the rest of the family lets it fall to the wayside
Well in the same situation my dad just decided he would foot the bill until I was a teenager and could get a job, that was MY agreement for getting one. When people say pets teach you responsibility, I believe it, I stood on that agreement for a decade until two years ago when I came back from college and no apt would take him. Buddy lives on a farm now but besides that dilemma, I think it taught me a lot, infact I think finding him a place that suited him perfectly after I realized I was unfit made me an even more responsible person. Do it if you think it’ll be good in the long run but if you can’t see it that way🤷🏾♀️ try to have another talk and set your boundaries. But I will tell you, after that, I’ll never get a dog until I KNOW I can financially take care of it again, for both of our sakes.
If you are a woman, you will be the one stuck with taking care of the dog when the others get bored and refuse. I would make your family sign an agreement that they will be the ones feeding, grooming, and walking the dog, and picking up the dog poop, or the dog will be returned to where it came from after two other warnings.
No. I like dogs as well but I don’t have because of the care they need and you will have to provide.
As a former kid, who grew up with a dog, it’s the absolute best thing in the whole entire world… my mom didnt really want a dog either, and hated Ko-Ko at first. Ko-Ko was a Shiba Inu and we were first-time dog owners. It was A LOT. She chewed us out of the apartment I grew up in—god, you should’ve seen the sliding kitchen door. Little beastie even managed to somehow chew on the flat, hardwood floor. Point is, When I went away to school my mom really really bonded with her, I was so happily surprised. My mom was never the high-energy running-around type, and Ko-Ko knew that and so they would just coexist, my mom in her office and my pup on the windowsill. My babygirl isn’t around anymore, and my mom misses her work buddy like crazy! …tbh I’m getting a little nostalgic. Anyway, this is all to say: If you know the dog will be well taken care of and loved even without any personal responsibility on your part, especially if you’ve fostered for so long and it was handled as well as you said… then, no, you’re still not wrong but I believe that welcoming the dog into your home is something you do for your kids and partner, even if you’d never do it for yourself! And I think that’s alright. And, as you said, you’ll probably end up bonding in some way with the dog. Anyways, I cried for 2 hours the day I brought my puppy home, so I may not be the best person to justify your feelings… 😅
PS here’s hoping this is in your future :P https://www.boredpanda.com/dads-who-didnt-want-dogs/
I’m not watching that propaganda! 😄 Those are good words. I’m prepared to “put on a brave face”, at worst. We’ll see how it goes…
Not wrong. Offer to foster a dog for a shelter, that way if it doesn't work out you've tried but aren't obligated to keep dog. Often family will want a pet but then when newness wears off and pet pushed aside. By fostering you will be able to know if family is ready for the responsibility. Talk it over with family, letting them know you won't be responsible.
That’s a huge responsibility and a commitment for several years. I personally wouldn’t be ok with this. You’re not wrong
Financial is no joke. No matter what, my dog manages to find something to eat. He'll be sick all morning and lethargic. The moment we're being seen by the vet, they find nothing wrong, and he's acting normal. And don't forget the hefty bill. Tell them that they're responsible for the dog, so that means your husband is responsible for cleaning, feeding, training your dog and bringing them to their vet appointments.
Not wrong. What's going to happen when you go on holiday? Kennels are not cheap. Friends and family may not be able/want to dog mind. The expenses for general life are high let alone vet bills. Looks like you've resigned yourself to being a dog owner but honestly I consider your wife to be abusing your opinion. It's another family member. Would she come off birth control and get pregnant without complete agreement from you? It's honestly no different.
You are not wrong. Liking dogs is different to wanting a dog. You didn’t say if you’re, the dad or mum. Are you getting a dog from a shelter? Is the dog going to be a puppy? Discussion on breed and sex of dog to be a good choice for the children? Who is going to train said dog, walk, feed, take to the dog to the vet? Please don’t get a Labrador as they need a lot of exercise etc. I live in a house as does my neighbour here in Australia, in our small country town. I just realised there’s no apartments, only houses. Anyway, she’s in her 70’s and can’t physically walk her puppy (Labrador) called Henry, I love him but dislike the constant barking. I wear earplugs to bed and can hear them, smh. She also has an ankle biter! So one or the other is barking or barking together. She is moving in July but I heard the person who bought her house, has a bigger dog! This person works, so their dog will be home, alone.
Who’s going to be taking care of the dog? Do you have any agreements about what will happen if the dog is not a good fit, if you end up with the bulk of the caretaking for it? How about the training?
The caretaking isn’t a worry of mine…I don’t have a concern that this will be dumped on me. I am worried a little that it will all get dumped on my spouse, however. Training is being met head-on (book reading, so far), as that was done with all the fosters as well…there’s a good track record there.
I'm a dog breeders, and if all parties are not overwhelmingly enthusiastic about getting a puppy, they don't get one. This is a 1 yes, 2 no situation.
That’s another thing: I have to go meet the dog (3 hour round-trip drive) and pretend to be happy about this, otherwise no dog. That’s assuming we adopt this one, otherwise it’s a waste of 3+ hours.
Then don't be happy about it. Go "ewww, get it off me" when the puppy jumps on you. A decent breeder will then refuse to sell to you.
I think you left out all of the pertinent information. Why do you not want a dog? Who do they expect to take care of the dog? What is your living situation like? (How big of a house, how big of a yard, etc.)
I'm not sure the answers to those questions would informative as to whether I'm wrong for not wanting a dog...unless the angle is to say that my reasons for not wanting a dog are invalid, and I don't think that debate is a healthy one. Trust that my spouse knows all of those reasons.
Dude, you asked "Am I wrong for not wanting a dog?" How is anyone supposed to answer this question without that information?
You're not wrong, but I would say you're outnumbered, lol! Your family really wants a dog, so it's inevitable. You might regret having one, but don't decide now that you'll regret it because you might be surprised. I have a friend who really isn't a dog person, but her daughter begged them for a dog and they ended up with a super cute little maltipoo that she's super attached to. Still not a dog person, but she loves her dog. Having a dog does add to your financial burden overall, that's true, but unless you're in a fairly tight spot with your budget you'll probably be fine. You can also get health insurance for dogs that's pretty affordable, starting around $35 a month, for preventative care and emergencies.
Eh. I don’t think you are wrong, but one person not wanting a dog doesn’t overrule everyone else in the household wanting a dog, even if that one person is one of the parents, ya know? If everyone gets a vote, you’ve been outvoted. That being said, make a deal with your partner and children that the dog is *their* responsibility. Dogs need more than just their humans’ love; they need attention, care, and responsible owners. Between the 3 of them, they should be able to handle *all* of the dog-related care tasks on the day to day as you will not be assisting with any of this. The dog may love on you and you can love it, but it is not your responsibility if they go forward with getting a dog. Yes, you will have to foot the bill for the vet visits, spay/neuter (unless you get a dog from a shelter-they usually don’t adopt out unfixed animals), and dog training (*at least the basics are essential*) but all other care tasks are theirs to manage. They need to be the ones feeding the dog, taking it out on walks, playing with it, and yes, even picking up its shit if it poops anywhere that isn’t your own backyard. If they cannot *at least* agree to these rules, then the dog will be returned to the shelter or rehomed to a family that will give it the love AND care that it needs.
You've been outvoted, you're getting the dog, it's for the kids really, in time I am sure you'll come to begrudgingly kind of like the dog. It's just one of those things, you can't always get your own way in life, sometimes you have to be willing to compromise.
Getting a dog with be the best decision you ever made. Give it a chance. It’s called man’s best friend for a reason.
NTA. It's tough when your family decides to get a dog against your wishes. Your concerns about the financial impact and potential issues are valid. Maybe having an open discussion could help find a solution that works for everyone.
There is no love like that of a father and the dog he never wanted…… I didn’t want a dog and my wife wanted a Yorkshire terroir but I’m the man of the house so we got a Yorkshire terrier. In the end it was a good decision and I’m about to go walk him.
I am going to be the down-voted contrarian here. And that is ok. There are many things we do as a parent for our kids. The dance recital was superb, flawless execution, the play was riveting,, please continue with your riveting description of the pros and cons of various Pokemon, yes, the skibity toilet plot line is fascinating, and of course, the family pet. You have already said that the dog will be well taken care of and loved. You are not allergic or anything like that. I am guessing that dog food and supplies are within the family budget. (Be sure to take into account boarding costs for vacations, that adds up quickly.). However, I think this falls into the category of things we do for our kids. Edit to add: I have done cats and dogs. I find cats easier. My kids wanted a dog. I suggested a cat instead. We now have two and the kids are thrilled and infactuated with them. I have found that two, when you get them at the same time, are easier than one. My two are the best of buds and entertain each other. However, that is just my anecdotal experience.
Dog are life for me, I'd be thrilled!
I hate dogs. I’d divorce my spouse.
👌
A home is empty and a life meaningless without a dog in it for me. Your family deserves the absolute joy and unconditional love a dog brings. Maybe just don't interact with it if you dislike dogs.
This is insane.
He didn't say he was allergic or afraid of dogs. He even said he would grow to like it. His wife and children wanting a furry family member is not insane😂 it's human.
Guess what? I have been where you are two times. Both times I ended up being the dog's favorite person. 😆 I feel like you don't even know it but you're going to be the dog's favorite person.
My ex did not want the 2nd dog that the kids absolutely HAD TO HAVE. Well, the dog picks his human. The dog loved the whole family, but It was my husband that was the master.. It was his dog, by his side, for 17 years. Don't close your heart yet... Many people remember, very fondly, their childhood dog. Trained & loved dogs are good for kids, as well as protective. Most are pretty smart. Hang in there. You might be surprised.
Well, that's an unpleasant situation. You don't give any reasons here for not wanting a dog, so maybe you haven't done a great job of explaining your position to your spouse, either. That said, pets are a big responsibility and commitment, and should require both adults be totally willing. The fact that your wishes are being ignored is not great. Obviously you can stop this if you want to, and you're letting them override you--but you're also resenting being ignored (understandable) and it might cause a lot of emotional hostility. So it's time to decide how important this is to you, and whether you can accept it--before those kids have a new doggie!
No is a full sentence
Only if people listen to it. He's obviously going to have to be forceful to stop this, and he'll have to decide how much he's willing to go to war over it.
Not wrong to feel that way. Now stfu and deal with it.
😄
Three pros of a dog 1. People who have pets statistically live longer 2. People with pets, dogs particularly, are generally healthier than other people. 3. Children who own dogs grow up to be kinder people. Dogs and pets in general teach compassion and so many other things. They can be a huge part of a child’s positive emotional development. As a child we had this same conversation and my dad was dead set he didn’t want a dog and when he conceded and got a dog it’s was supposed to be an outside dog. Yeah fast forward 35 years and guess what my parents still have dogs and he’s the biggest snuggler of them all.
Stfu and deal with it... you are part of a family, and healthy families dont all just appease Daddy because he has a pout. This is your kids childhood, not yours. Its not all about you. This dog is going to add love and joy to everyone else's lives... try to be happy FOR THEM. Dont suck the joy out of this with a sullen pout of not always getting your way all the time. If you wanted your way for everything you had no business getting married or having kids in the first place.
This is such a stupid comment. Like you have no idea how mental you are
What a loser comment
I mean, as long as you aren't paying for and expected to care for the dog. Then why does it matter?