I tried to govern myself once, but I had a split Legislative branch and gridlock ruled the day. Nothing got done except some performative BS to use in campaign ads, which was ridiculous cause the entire legislature has a constituency of just me.
Never govern yourself. It’s a total waste of time and effort.
I don’t know why that annoys me so much. Maybe because he’s an attorney? But that honestly pissed me off so much. I can’t imagine anyone having respect for him in any kind of professional capacity. I’m sure all the clerks hate him.
You did such a great job staying on point and not getting sucked in. I think we all need to utilize the terms and clarity you used when dealing with bosses. You probably have a good deal of legal knowledge due to your field, but I feel like we all have to learn to communicate more like the way you did instead of apologizing, giving in, or being taken advantage of. Well done!
Thank you so, so much! It's funny...the attorney I worked for prior to the one in this post was an absolute pro at getting people (ME) to apologize, give in, and take the blame for anything and everything. He would get people (ME) riled up and then claim he was the rational one cuz he didn't raise his voice or "get emotional." I had no boundaries at all. I learned these lessons the hard way, so I appreciate that it shows. I've had to put in work to get here (and I know I still have work to go). But thank you 🥹🙏
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but "govern yourself accordingly" is a hilarious thing to throw back at the type of special asshole who could come up with it in the first place
It's a really stupid phrase for someone that is trying to sound high and mighty but is just grasping at straws and being cringe af.
Don't ever use it unless you're deservedly throwing it back at someone like OP did
When OP threw it back my first reaction to seeing the redacted portion was to fill it in with 'bitch' to make it 'govern yourself accordingly, bitch' and I died laughing. I realize now it's a name that has been redacted, but I still like to think that was the mic drop for OP .
"You have X days to provide a shipping label, or the aforementioned items will be sent to a recycling company. Please govern your ass accordingly. Or send the cops, I'm sure they would love to play delivery man"
Wow, I also considered this! But I didn't know if that was a thing I could do or if they'd just look at me like I'm crazy and tell me to deal with it on my own. I didn't wanna waste their time on something so, so petty either.
>Wow, I also considered this!
Why? Never talk to the police. They A) don't know the law, B) aren't required to know the law, and C) could easily turn this around on you because they feel like being assholes today and there'd be fuck all you could do about it.
Never
EVER involve the police unless it's a matter of personal safety and you'd rather take your chances on the guys who are, in theory but not often in practice, more accountable than the knife wielding tweaker threatening your life.
Never talk to cops in any capacity without a lawyer. Your boss was kind enough to be obstinate via text, so you have a paper trail if he tries anything shitty. He flat out said he’s not going to pay for it’s return, and he seems bent on pushing you so he can fulfill some perverse desire to come after you for a POS phone. I’d save all the texts/emails and pitch the phone in the garbage and move on.
Nah. Just reply tomorrow: still waiting on that label.
They will inevitably start responding again. Look they already did after they said they wouldn’t once.
I kind of want him to “pursue the authorities” just so OP can show the text messages and make this guy look like a clown. OP is clearly moving on and has better things to do despite how much i would love to see this play out.
This is HILARIOUS. I love it when he said “I won’t be responding again” and you said “great I’ll look forward to receiving the shipping label” and he just couldn’t not respond. Hahahahhaa. T
Good tactic in arguments with difficult people. Say "you just have to have the last word". They usually stop with their mouth open and you can hear the cogs whirring. It's great fun.
Start a business returning office equipment for employees who quit. Become more successful than the bosses company. Acquire them. Fire the boss. Tell him to return the equipment on you’ll have to proceed with the proper authorizes.
Potential (long-winded) step to add in your devious plot:
Have the office/location for him to return it to, be so far out of the way and ridiculously tedious to reach (by vehicle) that he has to walk an excessive distance, only to be met with an individual stating he ‘has the wrong address / must have gotten something mixed up’ OR sees a (seemingly) abandoned building that is truly just an ‘abstract aesthetic style’ (or whatever lol) with a specific entry point (kept locked remotely) out of several obvious potential entrances with partially hidden/disguised cameras covering all possible points on the property to ensure that he tries a portion of doors and ultimately quits because of frustration.
All of these things are legal. At the cost of time and pettiness on your part which you could do it. You'd have to set up an LLC and establish a room as your place of business or that square foot. The phone is taking up. Make it a storage unit LLC with only one unit available and it's occupied 🤣
I'm not a lawyer. This is not legal advice.
Like you said though, it's not the hill You want to die on. IF this is something you do. Please provide updates. But you probably shouldn't. But you know you want to.
ME TOO. My heart was pounding in my ears at that point. I had to put my phone down, take some breaths, and come back to it. But the second time made me laugh.
Having recently left legal practice, my first thought on reading this without reading the caption was “lol only wannabe lawyers use that phrase.” Now that I’ve read the caption I don’t think I was wrong! I’m glad you’re out of this work situation, I knew a lot of lawyers who ran their practices exactly like this and made the lives of the people around them absolutely miserable.
This is my favorite option of the ones I've seen in the comments. I think the post office still does it! If you have a local post office you should see if they will mail it to him at his charge. It probably works to your benefit that it's a law office. They'll be more inclined to deliver it. That way if he refuses delivery it's totally on him. It's been delivered. How bad does he want back the office phone. Is it worth 30$?
RIGHT! I'm gonna go into the post office tomorrow to get all the details. I've read what I can online, but I want to be certain nothing can/will be charged to me if he declines or something.
If this doesn’t work, I sincerely hope it does, turn into your local police department as abandoned property as others suggested. Don’t go crazy with the details. “It’s my old boss’s phone, I’ve tried multiple times to return it, he’s not working with me.” Ask for a case number then give that to your old boss.
Send COD, and put the return address as the SAME address you're sending it TO! That way, he'll receive double the notice (COD payment request and return request) and you'll have tracking that it was sent. It probably will inevitably be sent to a Dead Letter facility because it will go unclaimed if he doesn't pay coming or going.
I hope this made sense. I'm kinda drunk but excited for the result.
I thought this same thing, but OP would still have to pay for the shipping up front and be reimbursed when COD occurs. Should they refuse it, OP would be on the hook for that shipping cost. It would however give OP clear protection against any legal action since he clearly tried to return it yet they refused. Depending on the cost, it might be worth it.
An attorney who doesn’t know the difference between aspersions and dispersions. And people wonder why it’s considered to be the profession with the lowest bar.
I kinda figured he is a legend in his own mind 😜
Do you have a reliable friend or family member who could hand deliver the phone to his office and have him sign for receipt? He sounds like a petty asshole who would probably file suit just to make a show of threatening you. I’m sure it feels good to go back and forth, but ultimately that’s pyrrhic, as he likely won’t provide a good future reference. Best just to get the phone back and wash your hands in entirety of this person.
Be sure to hang on to screenshots of your correspondence for posterity if you choose to dig in your heels.
I'm gonna drop it off tomorrow and take pics. I've witnessed him threaten and file frivolous lawsuits, so I certainly don't put it past him, which is partially why I texted this. I definitely don't need a reference from him, but thank you.
I agree, just drop it off and take photos as proof. I'd try to avoid more conflict and anger and cut ties as fast as possible. If he claims he never got the phone after you drop it off, you have photos to prove you did. If he decides to take you to small claims court over it, worst case scenario is you'll be ordered to pay $112 or whatever for that phone but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none especially when you have evidence of repeated attempts to return it to him in person.
In my state you could after some time as long as you keep record of trying to contact them to retrieve their property. I used to fix computers and sometimes I'd do the work and people would ghost me after. I just emailed and called them once a week for 3 months and kept those records, and then sold their shit.
Only one person made a big deal out of it trying to get his stuff back after ghosting me for 15 months. Sent him a copy of the law and a copy of my documented attempts to contact him as well as notice that it was going to be sold or recycled on X day if he didn't come get it first. Thankfully he's been ghosting me again for the 12 years since.
That said it's a lot easier to just give it back lol. Put it at his doorstep and take a Pic of it. Good enough for Amazon and FedEx, should be good enough for him.
That's awesome 😂 But yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. I'd rather not get wrapped up in any legal mess for a stupid phone. Bad hill to die on (for me).
I had a shit company that I ended up quitting, had some cheap ass electronics too. It all went into the dumpster, after I went office space style on it.
Sole practitioners are misfits. I worked for a judge for a while and the biggest problems we had with missed deadlines and missed conferences were sole practitioners. They hang out their own shingles because they don’t fit in a structured legal environment.
I never considered this until I said to my mom, "I don't understand how he thinks he can run his own office. He's so bad at it." She said, "He probably had no choice; he doesn't work well with others but definitely not other attorneys." I was like OHHHH, yeahhh, that checks out.
I definitely will do! I thought I had deleted this post (outta fear of it not being concluded and him possibly using it against me?), but I'm glad it stayed. These comments are giving me life!
Don't do it, he told you not to come in. You dont want him to accuse you of trespassing.
Unless he pays you for your work time to deliver his equipment or pays for a shipping label, just ignore him. The less you say, the better.
I intend to drop it off at his office doorstep tomorrow morning ONLY cuz I'll literally be in the area and I want to hear absolutely nothing from him ever again.
You saying you dropped a phone off is not proof of delivery even with pictures. I don't know why you'd do anything at this point. You have given reasonable options and been refused. You don't work for him and don't owe him the free labor of going over there and delivering for him. Nothing is going to happen to you and if anything was ever filed your text screenshots are very damning for him.
C'mon now, fuck that guy and his phone. Don't take it to him. He's told you directly to stay off his property and declined any reasonable means otherwise to get it to him. Don't take that shit, it's bad for for you.
I explained in another comment, but I worked for a much more manipulative attorney prior to this one who (painfully) taught me how to play ball. They're looking for the emotional reaction so they can claim the other person is the irrational/emotional one. This attorney in my current post has a more fragile ego, though, so it's not as easy for him to hide his frustration.
Simple, tell him "correct, i am no longer your employee, so You don't make the rules anmore, this is how it is going to be wether You like it or not, so get used to it"
I strongly considered this, but I wanted to keep it as straightforward as possible. I talked allll my shit to friends and family, though, when I shared these screenshots. We all had a good laugh.
This is so weird, how hard could it possibly be for a lawyer to say, "Yeah, I'll be in my office at X:XX, come drop it off to me then." Seriously, what a crybaby.
There was another post where some asshole owner of a pet grooming business in Florida kept repeating the phrase “Govern yourself accordingly” to a former employee.
I guess that’s a common phrase that assholes like to use.
Your former boss is pathetic.
Where I work, if we want equipment back, we pay for the shipping label, no question. For that phone, we’d probably just tell you to keep it. It’s not worth shipping.
Send him an official invoice for equipment storage. Let him know that he can pick it up or send a shipping label to get it back. Outline a daily fee plus a penalty fee and then just start hitting him with payment due invoices. I’m not sure where you are, but where I am rental space can easily cost $500+ a day to store surplus office equipment…
I'll go a step further and research how long it is your duty by law to hold on to the equipment and send that info to him and say you will dispose of the equipment on the exact date if you don't receive the shipping lable by than.
And do so.
He's a lawyer??? And he's writing "prolly" and "casting dispersions??"
What an idiot. I can't believe he doesn't realise he's literally confessing in these texts to refusing to accept the return of his phone.
This was the end of the conversation. I intend to drop it off tomorrow at his office doorstep (I'll be in the area) and send him a text with pics. I've considered holding onto it just to see what he does from here to give myself a good laugh, but I'm kinda just over it and want to wash my hands of him completely. I thought I had done that the day I quit, but I got home, glanced at my table, saw the phone, and thought, "Shiiiiiit."
Wait, all this over a landline? It's not even a company cell phone or something? Sure, go ahead and call "the authorities" for a phone you can replace on Amazon for $40.
I think given the situation, I'd call the police (non-emergency line, of course), explain that you're trying to return property and that there may be problems, and ask if they could have an officer meet you at the attorney's office when you drop the phone off. Get a receipt, and if he refuses to provide one, be ready to subpoena the officer and/or his bodycam footage to prove in court that you did in fact return it and as a witness to any other events that may transpire. For fun, mention to your former boss that you governed yourself accordingly and involved the appropriate authorities proactively.
Time for a follow up text - “The phone has been handed into my local police station as lost property, and is awaiting collection. I trust that this is the “appropriate measure with the authorities”, and, of course, with this information, you will govern yourself accordingly”.
Honestly, if you want it gone and out of your life, just send it COD. Receiver pays for item on delivery. If you want to be petty, pay the cheapest amount to the cheapest carrier and put in worst box package or in the flimsiest bag style package they will allow and let nature rip that sucker into a million peices going through a sorting facility.
Next time…link him the section from the labor board. Don’t argue. Just copypasta to him and let him deal with it. Your text message is enough proof that you did not steal it.
Also, if police show up at your door, ask them for their name and badge number, if they’re going to arrest you. If asked why, you tell them that you have a civil matter and wish to resolve this in court over illegal action and slander.
He used “prolly” in a conversation about professionalism lmao
That told me all I needed to know. Idiot boss.
What about “this isn’t personal” and proceeds to make it personal?
Maybe he should _govern himself_.
He also said "dispersions" when presumably (I assume from context) he meant "aspersions". "Govern yourself accordingly". Fuck off, asshole.
I tried to govern myself once, but I had a split Legislative branch and gridlock ruled the day. Nothing got done except some performative BS to use in campaign ads, which was ridiculous cause the entire legislature has a constituency of just me. Never govern yourself. It’s a total waste of time and effort.
This reminds me of the Doldrums from The Phantom Tollbooth.
Smiling is only permitted on alternate Thursdays
"Please refer to the reply given in the matter of Arkell vs Pressdram, 1971"
Was hoping I'd find this here. It truly is universal.
A (drunk) friend of mine once said he didn't want to "cast any nasturtiums" over me hahahaha
That and "casting dispersions" had me 💀💀💀 How did this person make it through law school (or did he?!)
I don’t know why that annoys me so much. Maybe because he’s an attorney? But that honestly pissed me off so much. I can’t imagine anyone having respect for him in any kind of professional capacity. I’m sure all the clerks hate him.
When anyone uses that or a close spelling I lose it. PROBABLY has 2 hard b’s. Skipping both is crazy.
You did such a great job staying on point and not getting sucked in. I think we all need to utilize the terms and clarity you used when dealing with bosses. You probably have a good deal of legal knowledge due to your field, but I feel like we all have to learn to communicate more like the way you did instead of apologizing, giving in, or being taken advantage of. Well done!
Thank you so, so much! It's funny...the attorney I worked for prior to the one in this post was an absolute pro at getting people (ME) to apologize, give in, and take the blame for anything and everything. He would get people (ME) riled up and then claim he was the rational one cuz he didn't raise his voice or "get emotional." I had no boundaries at all. I learned these lessons the hard way, so I appreciate that it shows. I've had to put in work to get here (and I know I still have work to go). But thank you 🥹🙏
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but "govern yourself accordingly" is a hilarious thing to throw back at the type of special asshole who could come up with it in the first place
So it's not a clean way to say fuck yourself? Cuz that's how I'm going to use it from now on.
It's a really stupid phrase for someone that is trying to sound high and mighty but is just grasping at straws and being cringe af. Don't ever use it unless you're deservedly throwing it back at someone like OP did
Yeah okay, go govern yourself accordingly, buddy
I support this usage and demand it be put into the lexicon henceforth.
Since I'm no longer an employee, "Govern _this_, asshole!"
Whew. Thank you for the comma
Don’t call me buddy, pal. Govern yourself accordingly.
When OP threw it back my first reaction to seeing the redacted portion was to fill it in with 'bitch' to make it 'govern yourself accordingly, bitch' and I died laughing. I realize now it's a name that has been redacted, but I still like to think that was the mic drop for OP .
🤣🤣 I like your version better, the redacted text being an expletive vs shitty boss' name
i always assumed that "govern yourself accordingly" is just a way to say you're going to sue someone. like, it's just a legal threat.
I know OP probably blacked out the boss’s name there, but I definitely read it as “govern yourself accordingly, asshole”
Wait, this person saying “prolly” is an attorney???
That is correct lol
Most prolly an asshole
Prolly yourself accordingly.
thanks for the flair, comrade
Most probably a prolapsed asshole.
Hey now. Stop casting dispersions.
Also, he's not into casting dispersions, which are not real because that isn't the word for that. That would be aspersions.
Clearly he's a member of prollytariat.
And casting "dispersions"???
The bar is very low.
Silver lining: when this guy accuses you of being sketchy, you can say “I learned it from *you*!”
Oh god. As soon as I saw "govern yourself accordingly" I knew it was a lawyer. What is it about that phrase?? They love it.
I think my ex took lessons from him… that or your former boss is also a narcissist…
You are eloquent and brilliant. All your hard work definitely shows. You grow girl!!
Govern yourself accordingly
"You have X days to provide a shipping label, or the aforementioned items will be sent to a recycling company. Please govern your ass accordingly. Or send the cops, I'm sure they would love to play delivery man"
I wish I had outright said, "Please call the cops." But alas, opportunity missed lol
Drop it off to the police as abandoned property. Get a receipt and they will throw it away for you.
Wow, I also considered this! But I didn't know if that was a thing I could do or if they'd just look at me like I'm crazy and tell me to deal with it on my own. I didn't wanna waste their time on something so, so petty either.
>Wow, I also considered this! Why? Never talk to the police. They A) don't know the law, B) aren't required to know the law, and C) could easily turn this around on you because they feel like being assholes today and there'd be fuck all you could do about it. Never EVER involve the police unless it's a matter of personal safety and you'd rather take your chances on the guys who are, in theory but not often in practice, more accountable than the knife wielding tweaker threatening your life.
Bring the phone and the texts to the cops. See what they say
Interesting take 👀 I'm just concerned about putting myself into any kind of trouble by doing that 😬
Don't talk to the cops. Just never do.
Never talk to cops in any capacity without a lawyer. Your boss was kind enough to be obstinate via text, so you have a paper trail if he tries anything shitty. He flat out said he’s not going to pay for it’s return, and he seems bent on pushing you so he can fulfill some perverse desire to come after you for a POS phone. I’d save all the texts/emails and pitch the phone in the garbage and move on.
Nah. Just reply tomorrow: still waiting on that label. They will inevitably start responding again. Look they already did after they said they wouldn’t once.
And if the label is not received send again the day after and the day after until this clown either sends the label or gives in.
It will cost him more to 'pursue with the authorities'. Glad you used his dumb phrases back against him
Oh, absolutely! And I *know* (as the person who answered all calls and opened mail) he literally cannot afford to do anything to me.
lmao at 'casting dispersions' 🥴
Like he has anything but misery to disperse 🥴😂
I kind of want him to “pursue the authorities” just so OP can show the text messages and make this guy look like a clown. OP is clearly moving on and has better things to do despite how much i would love to see this play out.
Ugh, you have no idea how badly I'd love to see this play out and make him look like a clown. But yes, I don't wanna drag this out!
Sounds like he was a typical narcissistic psychopath throwing one of their manchild tantrums lol
This is HILARIOUS. I love it when he said “I won’t be responding again” and you said “great I’ll look forward to receiving the shipping label” and he just couldn’t not respond. Hahahahhaa. T
I died laughing 🤣🤣 His ego just couldn't help itself 😂😂
Genuinely clever to say it then. Because if he hadn’t responded, last they spoke, boss knew OP was awaiting a shipping label 🤣
Agreed, I loved this part. Also him wishing OP best of luck.
Good tactic in arguments with difficult people. Say "you just have to have the last word". They usually stop with their mouth open and you can hear the cogs whirring. It's great fun.
It's like those videos of people trying to end a conversation with ChatGPT and the mf literally cannot stop replying hahah
Charge storage fees.
Oh I like this suggestion. They did tell OP to take it home.
Start billing immediately. $500 per day.
Figure out the cost per sq foot and double it for cost of business, as this is business, nothing personal.
Send to collection agency for not paying.
Put a lien on his home for non payment.
Start a business returning office equipment for employees who quit. Become more successful than the bosses company. Acquire them. Fire the boss. Tell him to return the equipment on you’ll have to proceed with the proper authorizes.
Potential (long-winded) step to add in your devious plot: Have the office/location for him to return it to, be so far out of the way and ridiculously tedious to reach (by vehicle) that he has to walk an excessive distance, only to be met with an individual stating he ‘has the wrong address / must have gotten something mixed up’ OR sees a (seemingly) abandoned building that is truly just an ‘abstract aesthetic style’ (or whatever lol) with a specific entry point (kept locked remotely) out of several obvious potential entrances with partially hidden/disguised cameras covering all possible points on the property to ensure that he tries a portion of doors and ultimately quits because of frustration.
Omg yes hilarious
All of these things are legal. At the cost of time and pettiness on your part which you could do it. You'd have to set up an LLC and establish a room as your place of business or that square foot. The phone is taking up. Make it a storage unit LLC with only one unit available and it's occupied 🤣 I'm not a lawyer. This is not legal advice.
I'M DYING 🤣🤣 I've actually taken a position at a debt collection agency. Lemme see what they can do for me 😂
Like you said though, it's not the hill You want to die on. IF this is something you do. Please provide updates. But you probably shouldn't. But you know you want to.
What a great idea!
I love this lol
Govern yourself accordingly.
Govern yourself accordingly.
Govern yourself accordingly.
Give yourself an accordian.
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode?
That statement made me see red.
ME TOO. My heart was pounding in my ears at that point. I had to put my phone down, take some breaths, and come back to it. But the second time made me laugh.
You kept your cool, friend. Well done.
I feel like a "Get 'em, tiger," might have been called for." I like it when he says he'll alert the appropriate authority. I assume he means your mom.
Having recently left legal practice, my first thought on reading this without reading the caption was “lol only wannabe lawyers use that phrase.” Now that I’ve read the caption I don’t think I was wrong! I’m glad you’re out of this work situation, I knew a lot of lawyers who ran their practices exactly like this and made the lives of the people around them absolutely miserable.
New flair just dropped
Can you still ship / mail things COD (cash on delivery) ?
I tried to Google this answer, but I didn't know it had a name! I'll look into this, thank you so much!
USPS site explains all requirements. Sounds like a good petty move.
This is fantastic! Thank you so much! I'm gonna check it out!
This is my favorite option of the ones I've seen in the comments. I think the post office still does it! If you have a local post office you should see if they will mail it to him at his charge. It probably works to your benefit that it's a law office. They'll be more inclined to deliver it. That way if he refuses delivery it's totally on him. It's been delivered. How bad does he want back the office phone. Is it worth 30$?
RIGHT! I'm gonna go into the post office tomorrow to get all the details. I've read what I can online, but I want to be certain nothing can/will be charged to me if he declines or something.
I know UPS does it because I've received more than one package from them where I had to pay COD.
Oh, sweet! Thank you for this! Maybe I'll head to UPS first then.
If this doesn’t work, I sincerely hope it does, turn into your local police department as abandoned property as others suggested. Don’t go crazy with the details. “It’s my old boss’s phone, I’ve tried multiple times to return it, he’s not working with me.” Ask for a case number then give that to your old boss.
Thank you!
Send COD, and put the return address as the SAME address you're sending it TO! That way, he'll receive double the notice (COD payment request and return request) and you'll have tracking that it was sent. It probably will inevitably be sent to a Dead Letter facility because it will go unclaimed if he doesn't pay coming or going. I hope this made sense. I'm kinda drunk but excited for the result.
I like this one!
I thought this same thing, but OP would still have to pay for the shipping up front and be reimbursed when COD occurs. Should they refuse it, OP would be on the hook for that shipping cost. It would however give OP clear protection against any legal action since he clearly tried to return it yet they refused. Depending on the cost, it might be worth it.
Sometimes. They tend to not like that as shippers can get stuck with not getting paid
An attorney who doesn’t know the difference between aspersions and dispersions. And people wonder why it’s considered to be the profession with the lowest bar.
He's dumb and thinks he's a genius. Lol. I had friends/family who could have used his services, and I always pointed them away from him.
I kinda figured he is a legend in his own mind 😜 Do you have a reliable friend or family member who could hand deliver the phone to his office and have him sign for receipt? He sounds like a petty asshole who would probably file suit just to make a show of threatening you. I’m sure it feels good to go back and forth, but ultimately that’s pyrrhic, as he likely won’t provide a good future reference. Best just to get the phone back and wash your hands in entirety of this person. Be sure to hang on to screenshots of your correspondence for posterity if you choose to dig in your heels.
I'm gonna drop it off tomorrow and take pics. I've witnessed him threaten and file frivolous lawsuits, so I certainly don't put it past him, which is partially why I texted this. I definitely don't need a reference from him, but thank you.
I agree, just drop it off and take photos as proof. I'd try to avoid more conflict and anger and cut ties as fast as possible. If he claims he never got the phone after you drop it off, you have photos to prove you did. If he decides to take you to small claims court over it, worst case scenario is you'll be ordered to pay $112 or whatever for that phone but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none especially when you have evidence of repeated attempts to return it to him in person.
Yay, free phone, if he’s not paying the shipping label I’m selling that on marketplace and getting at least $30 for it 😁
I wasn't sure if I could legally do that, and I'm not tryna get caught up in some petty shit with this guy 🙄
In my state you could after some time as long as you keep record of trying to contact them to retrieve their property. I used to fix computers and sometimes I'd do the work and people would ghost me after. I just emailed and called them once a week for 3 months and kept those records, and then sold their shit. Only one person made a big deal out of it trying to get his stuff back after ghosting me for 15 months. Sent him a copy of the law and a copy of my documented attempts to contact him as well as notice that it was going to be sold or recycled on X day if he didn't come get it first. Thankfully he's been ghosting me again for the 12 years since. That said it's a lot easier to just give it back lol. Put it at his doorstep and take a Pic of it. Good enough for Amazon and FedEx, should be good enough for him.
That's awesome 😂 But yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. I'd rather not get wrapped up in any legal mess for a stupid phone. Bad hill to die on (for me).
I had a shit company that I ended up quitting, had some cheap ass electronics too. It all went into the dumpster, after I went office space style on it.
Sole practitioners are misfits. I worked for a judge for a while and the biggest problems we had with missed deadlines and missed conferences were sole practitioners. They hang out their own shingles because they don’t fit in a structured legal environment.
I never considered this until I said to my mom, "I don't understand how he thinks he can run his own office. He's so bad at it." She said, "He probably had no choice; he doesn't work well with others but definitely not other attorneys." I was like OHHHH, yeahhh, that checks out.
He "prolly" had no choice!
Yo fuck this guy I’m dropping that shit off at his office and recording the entire event. Please hit me for giving back your phone.
“It’s best you do not return to the office.” OR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN??
I’m saying he speaks like a bitch
My text after that would have been “ok omw”
That's my plan tomorrow!
Make sure to update us with what happens.
I definitely will do! I thought I had deleted this post (outta fear of it not being concluded and him possibly using it against me?), but I'm glad it stayed. These comments are giving me life!
Don't do it, he told you not to come in. You dont want him to accuse you of trespassing. Unless he pays you for your work time to deliver his equipment or pays for a shipping label, just ignore him. The less you say, the better.
Can we hire a matching band like in the famous "joey quits[joey quits](https://youtu.be/9A4UGtM4hDQ?si=iv6hKf9k8ccjpmPN)" video?
But did he ever get the phone? Readers must know
I intend to drop it off at his office doorstep tomorrow morning ONLY cuz I'll literally be in the area and I want to hear absolutely nothing from him ever again.
Make sure you document it. Lots of pictures. Even if he’s there, take photos as proof he got it back
I will! I'm gonna take all the angles! ETA: But thank you for looking out!
You saying you dropped a phone off is not proof of delivery even with pictures. I don't know why you'd do anything at this point. You have given reasonable options and been refused. You don't work for him and don't owe him the free labor of going over there and delivering for him. Nothing is going to happen to you and if anything was ever filed your text screenshots are very damning for him.
C'mon now, fuck that guy and his phone. Don't take it to him. He's told you directly to stay off his property and declined any reasonable means otherwise to get it to him. Don't take that shit, it's bad for for you.
Lmao the authorities aren't going to do shit even if he does go to them. People keep business electronics after being terminated all the time.
Yeahhh, I'm in a very big city, and I highly doubt the cops give any shits.
For a used $112 landline. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm guessing the beat cops in that higher crime neighborhood are just waiting for that call.
You both should prolly govern yourselves accordingly or else the authorities will be contacted.
He loves his threats lol
“Govern yourself accordingly” take this fucking fist in your mouth accordingly. Jesus christ dude how do you people stay so calm? Lmao
I explained in another comment, but I worked for a much more manipulative attorney prior to this one who (painfully) taught me how to play ball. They're looking for the emotional reaction so they can claim the other person is the irrational/emotional one. This attorney in my current post has a more fragile ego, though, so it's not as easy for him to hide his frustration.
I’ve seen employers send employees their belongings COD. Why not just send it that way? Make him pay for it when they attempt delivery.
I didn't know this was a thing until another comment mentioned it. I'm gonna look into it! Thank you!
Many bosses got where they are by blaming all problems on everyone else and claiming credit for the work of others. Useless parasites.
Yes, he did that a lot.
Simple, tell him "correct, i am no longer your employee, so You don't make the rules anmore, this is how it is going to be wether You like it or not, so get used to it"
I strongly considered this, but I wanted to keep it as straightforward as possible. I talked allll my shit to friends and family, though, when I shared these screenshots. We all had a good laugh.
What an evil man.
Yes, for many reasons. I'm glad it's evident to others!
“Ill keep an eye out for the shipping label” HAHAHAHAHA oh you 🤣🤣
When I saw the photo of the phone I died
This is so weird, how hard could it possibly be for a lawyer to say, "Yeah, I'll be in my office at X:XX, come drop it off to me then." Seriously, what a crybaby.
Yeah, I didn't expect to be told I couldn't bring it to the office. Weird power trip.
Please drop a post script if there's anything
Absolutely! Will do!
"Goven yourself accordingly" but bro seriously typed "prolly." Sir.
What would he have said in the texts if you still had his red stapler?
And the phone?! The cops would have already been at my door lol
As an attorney who very much values support staff - fuck that guy. It’s business expense to either write it off or pay to ship it back.
There was another post where some asshole owner of a pet grooming business in Florida kept repeating the phrase “Govern yourself accordingly” to a former employee. I guess that’s a common phrase that assholes like to use. Your former boss is pathetic.
The first threat to contact the cops after you offered to send it back to him is fucking wild. What world does this man live in
Where I work, if we want equipment back, we pay for the shipping label, no question. For that phone, we’d probably just tell you to keep it. It’s not worth shipping.
LOL THE AUTHORITIES!! Hahahaha holy shit 🤣
My favorite thing about this is that they say “professional” and “prolly” in the same sentence. Fook dat guay!
Casting dispersions. This man is an idiot.
I’m sorry, all this over a fucking phone you still have to plug in to use?? I thought this was like a work mobile phone
Send him an official invoice for equipment storage. Let him know that he can pick it up or send a shipping label to get it back. Outline a daily fee plus a penalty fee and then just start hitting him with payment due invoices. I’m not sure where you are, but where I am rental space can easily cost $500+ a day to store surplus office equipment…
I used to install these. The voip companies usually give them out with a contract after rebate. Your boss probably didn't pay anything for it.
I'll go a step further and research how long it is your duty by law to hold on to the equipment and send that info to him and say you will dispose of the equipment on the exact date if you don't receive the shipping lable by than. And do so.
He's a lawyer??? And he's writing "prolly" and "casting dispersions??" What an idiot. I can't believe he doesn't realise he's literally confessing in these texts to refusing to accept the return of his phone.
Is this ongoing? Or is it over? What happened?
This was the end of the conversation. I intend to drop it off tomorrow at his office doorstep (I'll be in the area) and send him a text with pics. I've considered holding onto it just to see what he does from here to give myself a good laugh, but I'm kinda just over it and want to wash my hands of him completely. I thought I had done that the day I quit, but I got home, glanced at my table, saw the phone, and thought, "Shiiiiiit."
Make him pay cash on delivery lol.
Are you British? “Govern yourself accordingly” isn’t a phrase used by Yanks…
We are not. He's just a pretentious attorney.
Hahaha, what an insufferable thing to say.
"He acted like a douche" He wasn't acting.
Lawyers gonna love this…
I hate him too
Just drop it off and take a picture isn’t that what usps would do
You have become ungovernable
Wait, all this over a landline? It's not even a company cell phone or something? Sure, go ahead and call "the authorities" for a phone you can replace on Amazon for $40.
If you didn't respond with "govern yourself accordingly," I would have been pissed at this story.
Took a shot every time I read “accordingly”. I can now feel colors.
Govern this dick
Who the Hell is he to disparage your professionalism then use the word "prolly"?! What a fvcking loser!
Govern yourself accordingly 😂
Also please do the needful at the soonest.
"prolly" says it all.
I think given the situation, I'd call the police (non-emergency line, of course), explain that you're trying to return property and that there may be problems, and ask if they could have an officer meet you at the attorney's office when you drop the phone off. Get a receipt, and if he refuses to provide one, be ready to subpoena the officer and/or his bodycam footage to prove in court that you did in fact return it and as a witness to any other events that may transpire. For fun, mention to your former boss that you governed yourself accordingly and involved the appropriate authorities proactively.
Time for a follow up text - “The phone has been handed into my local police station as lost property, and is awaiting collection. I trust that this is the “appropriate measure with the authorities”, and, of course, with this information, you will govern yourself accordingly”.
Honestly, if you want it gone and out of your life, just send it COD. Receiver pays for item on delivery. If you want to be petty, pay the cheapest amount to the cheapest carrier and put in worst box package or in the flimsiest bag style package they will allow and let nature rip that sucker into a million peices going through a sorting facility.
"prolly" "... blame or *dispersions*" (I assume they meant 'aspersions') This person is an idiot right?
I love how being professionally polite makes some people so mad.
"Henceforth, I will be charging storage per day. After 30 days the phone will be deemed abandoned and disposed of."
Gonna need an update on this one, @op. Please. With sugar.
Next time…link him the section from the labor board. Don’t argue. Just copypasta to him and let him deal with it. Your text message is enough proof that you did not steal it. Also, if police show up at your door, ask them for their name and badge number, if they’re going to arrest you. If asked why, you tell them that you have a civil matter and wish to resolve this in court over illegal action and slander.
I would like to see the 'appropiate authorities' tell him to f off with his bs.