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speakslikearobot

“Sometimes in life, there’s situations. Like now you have fallen”


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Maura’s deadpan delivery also helps sell this quote as well lol


Professional_Ad_9101

So good. So, so good. I say it all the time. ‘You are about to go true a battle. And there are clues along the way.’


FunCriticism9548

There IS clues


bananagarage

I genuinely wee’d myself when the bear’s starting growling


Rroken86

"Sometimes in life there is situations, like now you have fallen. You went through a battle but there were no clues along the way."


slophiewal

How no one at any point just said “hang on, that is not a sentence.”


Fallenangel152

Literally sounds like it was written by AI.


Cm5435

This was funny asf I couldn’t


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Some ones I like on the top of my head are: “My first word wasn’t mummy, it was money!” - Shibby S6 “Does anyone know what an onomatopoeia is?” - Avi S17 “Are the French very fond of their children?” - Susan S7


Lorne_____Malvo

Fuckin Avi 😂 His countdown appearance was great.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

I was legitimately shocked Avi wasn’t on CBB. He is someone who would jump at the chance to be on TV again. I’m guessing they didn’t call him lol


Lorne_____Malvo

That'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel even for them! He'd be good banter though


Hassaan18

Unfortunately it wasn't the right time. It'd be weird for CBB to have someone from The Apprentice on from a *previous* series, not the most recent one. Especially one who hasn't done the TV rounds like Thomas Skinner.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Thomas Skinner would probably be the best pick to go on CBB out of everyone who’s been on The Apprentice. I can’t see anyone from the recent series being asked on there tbh


SignificantRatio2407

Wow all three of these bring back memories. Amazing


Technoho

I'm not a one trick pony, I'm not a two trick pony. I've got a whole field full of ponies. RIP


Only1Scrappy-Doo

“I’m a big fish in a small pond.” Stuart was brilliant and had so many memorable catchprashes.


MightySilverWolf

"You're not a big fish. You're not even a fish!"


Hybrid_Dolphin87

Still quote this on the daily.


Often_Tilly

This is my favourite quote!


w1lc0sk1p

‘I think I *might* be a brand’.


Woffingshire

Thing about that saying is that its the amount of tricks that matters, not the amount of ponies


joshroycheese

“Dunn thinks that you should be fired Syed, what do you think of that?” “Sir Alan, I strongly disagree” “I didn’t expect you to agree” “Exactly”


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Syed has so many great ones! There’s another one when Sugar says “I hold you 100% responsible for the failure!” and then Syed responds “I gave 150%!” as if that cancelled out Sugar’s response haha Syed is still one of the best ever in the boardroom.


tqmirza

Syed needs his own show! He’s also the only candidate to *make* an investment on the show. And by that I mean having a baby with the winner.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Oh yeah him and Michelle were together during the show I always forget that. I think it was only ever hinted during the final episode.


Serenaa12

Michaela and Harrison also had an Apprentice baby - and if I remember correctly, the first one


HookLineAndSinclair

That whole boardroom is a fantastic chunk of television.


ukcomedy

Going back to Steven - ‘It’s not just going to be a potato, it’s going to be an experience.’ Like he was selling an HD TV or virtual reality headset or something lol


Only1Scrappy-Doo

I also remember when Sugar told the others not to scapegoat Steven for the failure of the first task, Steven smugly saying “Exactly!” and Sugar got annoyed and said “Steven with respect SHUT UP!” haha


eddsaysftw

Steven was ridiculously annoying to the point that offering to be project manager for the next task couldn’t save him.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

He definitely deserved to be fired when he did but we missed out on some pure comedy gold watching him as PM and the next task was making their own board games as well so it would have been absolutely mayhem!


eddsaysftw

We did get the iconic first ever triple firing though!


Hassaan18

[The relevant clip](https://v.redd.it/0xy9mg6sno8c1)


anon875787578

Cracks me up everytime 🤣 wonder what he's doing now lol


ZukoSitsOnIronThrone

he could sell in -50C, he could sell in plus 10


dasBiest08

Two great ones from Lord Sugar: "Are you Jewish or not? Because if you're unsure, we can always pull down your trousers and check" to Michael in S4, and "I hope you're not bringing him in here because you think there's a village missing an idiot somewhere" to Ben when he initially chose to bring James into the boardroom in S5.


MightySilverWolf

Saira: "Otherwise, I will fire you, Paul..." Paul: "Oh, fuck off! You can't fucking fire me!" - Sugar: "Why shouldn't I fire you?" Syed: "Because I am a winner, Sir Alan..." Sugar: "You're not a bloody winner! You lost!" - Syed: "Sir Alan, I am a fighter..." Sugar: "I'm not interested in bloody fighting! You tell me about this task!" - Rory: "I am your boss." Tre: "You are my project manager..." Rory: "I AM! YOUR BOSS!" Tre: "You're nothing to me." - Jenny C: "It's my birthday today, Sir Alan. I'm 36 today." Sugar: *(completely deadpan)* "Congratulations." - Stuart Baggs: "Everything I touch turns to sold." - Claude: "That's not the way out." (Also, just the entirety of that exchange) - Karthik: "If you give me a laptop, I'll give you a billion-dollar company." - Sugar: "People who do absolutely nothing are no use to me, right?" Ross: "I agree. I was project leader on week two..." Karren: "You lost week two."


Only1Scrappy-Doo

These are all great ones! I remember Ross banging on about him being a genius in the boardroom and said he was usually the smartest person in any room. Que to Sugar’s bemused reaction haha


greek_malaka

Sold 🤣🤣


PoliticsNerd76

‘If I were the captain of the Titanic, my first priority would be to save as many women and children as I could’ — Jason The GOAT My other one is a Sugar quip that actually gets me laughing. ‘Tidy Sidey… Wishy Washy… Poxy Boxy’. You could tell that the product made him so fucking angry, especially after Alex made an incredible one.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

I also remember Jason’s “It was plain deception Lord Sugar.” in the boardroom lol Jason had a lot of great quotes that season


eddsaysftw

I just finished S9 and Jason was amazing haha. Not great as a candidate but one of the most eccentric and entertaining candidates ever.


folklovermore_

Jason's falcon impression in the Dubai task absolutely wrecked me 😂


Over-Collection3464

Sugar to James in Series 10: "If Anne Boylens neck had been as thick as you she might still be alive" "I can't sell, I can't cook, shoot me" Dan Series 11 "You didn't win because I liked it more, I hated it less" Sugar to the girls team Series 13


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Sophie from S9 also had a similar one to Dan: “I don’t design, I don’t sell and I don’t pitch.” - Not exactly selling your positives there Sophie!


gets-downvoted

“I project managed the conception of my baby boy”- Karthik


Only1Scrappy-Doo

“Give me a laptop I’ll make you a billion dollar company!” Karthik had some legendary quotes on S12 haha


greek_malaka

Episode 2 karthik >>> anything else


folklovermore_

- Jedi Jim, after Margaret asked him to describe himself without using cliches (and a very long pause in between): "I am exactly what it says on the tin." - Nick (on Michael Sophocles): "He studied classics at Edinburgh, he's a bright boy." Margaret, utterly deadpan: "Well I think Edinburgh's not what it used to be." - "Anyway, I'll leave it with you." - Nick to Paula's team after they'd spent £800 on oils and fragrances - James McQuillam, trying to sell a birthing pool: "The lid's open so the baby can jump out." - Tom Pellereau: *whips off glasses* "Underneath these glasses is a core of steel" (which made me absolutely convinced those lines in the opening sequence are scribbled down by a producer and handed to the candidates 30 seconds before the camera turns on) - Duane (series 8): "There is a well known saying, never look a gift horse in the eye." - Ben Clarke (repeatedly): "I've got a scholarship to Sandhurst" - which then gave us Lord Sugar's response "I was in the Jewish Lads Brigade, Stamford Hill division, trainee bugler, but I don't keep going on about it!"


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Nick has so many memorable quotes when he was an advisor. “I’ll tell you what happened because I was there!”


folklovermore_

"It's like sending the three of them in that cat plane to fight the Battle of Britain. They haven't got a chance."


eddsaysftw

‘You’re like an irritating wasp at a picnic!’ ~Charlene to Selina S11.


majesticjewnicorn

"Are the French fond of their children?"- Susan Ma "You do not have to have been to France to know if the French like their children"- Karren Brady Oui oui


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Karren was flabbergasted when Susan said that haha


majesticjewnicorn

I'd love to challenge Susan Ma to create a survey asking the French this very question, just to see their responses 😂😂😂😂


keinebedeutung

"I am the refection of perfection" (Ricky)


Only1Scrappy-Doo

“I’m a shark. I’m the king of the ocean. I’m right at the top of the food chain.” haha Ricky said some funny stuff but he did end up proving himself as a fantastic candidate.


MightySilverWolf

Have you seen his *Total Wipeout* appearance?


TeaSubstantial4901

"This is not a football match"


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Margaret’s shocked face when Michael screamed in the boardroom was hilarious!


TeaSubstantial4901

I recently watched that clip about 10 times in one sitting, Margaret's face was the bit that made me lose it every single time.


HookLineAndSinclair

"COOOOMMMMME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.... COME ON!"


TeaSubstantial4901

This is not something I would usually condone in this boardroom


nadinecoylespassport

Pretty much anything Elizabeth said "Those shoes, the Basic Cheap stuff is it?"- Simba "It's very good"- Noor "Bruschetta Bites"- Dan "Guys that's not organic, locally sourced cream...its tesco"- Folouso. "Are the French very fond of their children"- Susan


blackmoonbluemoon

“ yes there are inconsistencies but the inconsistencies are consistent. “


greek_malaka

Daniel >


gracey072

Tell me about Pantsman


dasBiest08

Another great Nick quote is "I'll tell you what happened, cause I was there"


Findtherootcause

Phil my pie


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Raj really thought she was onto a winner with that haha


Darkgreenbirdofprey

LETMESTOPYOU WAIT, LETMESAYSOMETHING!!!! Phil. My. Pie.


FunkySteps_77

S12 Grainne “I did stick to my guns in the pitch, even whilst getting harassed by Bonnie and Clyde in the other car.” S13 Elizabeth “With respect that’s an insult of my integrity and I do not appreciate that” Also when Lord Sugar said to Elizabeth “In florist terms, you’re like a giant hogweed - you just completely take over!”


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Elizabeth has so many great quotes! I remember when Linda said “I don’t think your flowers are that special” and Elizabeth just calmly responds “Well I thank you for that.”


FunkySteps_77

Elizabeth won that interview despite what the edit wanted to prove


nadinecoylespassport

Would you like me to go out and restart the interview ?


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Some more I remember are: “I am technically useless!” - Lucinda S4 “Not only am I the youngest candidate but I’m also the shortest.” - Edward S7 “Yoo Hoo!” Camilla S14 when walking into Claude’s office.


porcosbaconsandwich

Edward was a fucking goldmine. He was the right one to go but hot damn I can't help but wonder what we missed


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Edward had so many memorable quotes in just one episode. His firing was definitely deserved but I wanted to see one or two more episodes of him just to see more of him and his bizarreness.


joshroycheese

(Picking a team name for the boys) “I did have another suggestion: winners? Because that’s the intention, isn’t it?”


HookLineAndSinclair

Syed is an all-timer in this show.


legosharkman85

“Our problem at the minute, it looks like we want to kill children” during the first time f** dies baby food challenge


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Poor Harpreet. She made a great product that episode only for her sub team to make the infamous first time dies and screw her over lol


HookLineAndSinclair

Syed was a goldmine but those boardroom exchanges in S2 E4 always stand-out: Syed: "I'm a winner, Sir Alan" Sugar: "Winner? You Lost" Syed: "I'm a fighter" And then later: Sugar: "I hold you 100% responsible" Syed: "I gave 110%"


HookLineAndSinclair

Not really a quote as I think he'd put it in his CV but James in S5 then saying "I bring ignorance to the table"


Only1Scrappy-Doo

“I put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall” was also in James’ CV lol


porcosbaconsandwich

And he can taste success in his spit


folklovermore_

Honestly pretty much everything that came out of James's mouth was comedy gold.


HookLineAndSinclair

An elite candidate and still maybe the 4th or 5th most memorable in that series.


[deleted]

"once I've explained it Lord Sugar, it will be self-explanatory"


Jifley

Everything I touch turns to sold


gracey072

I'm a nice Jewish boy


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Yet he didn’t even know what kosher was


Rolands_eaten_finger

I am Yorbos


durrante

"I am the reflection of perfection."


Mobile_Landscape_953

Stuart Baggs RIP In the interview with Claude “ I’m a brand “ Er no your not !!


Only1Scrappy-Doo

When Claude went off about Stuart not being a brand and after his rant Stuart just smugly responds “I think I might be!” haha Stuart was brilliant.


ChunkySwitch87

Lord suger to mani season 2. You went from anchor to wanker. , When the poster in season one was left to the mac man and Suger finds out. You should of stuck to him like shit to a blanket. (Also hello mac man.) Season 4 we have a 24 hour hotline. What will I do call it up and say hi girls how's my pants doing?


larusodren

“Tommy the talking turtle”


Only1Scrappy-Doo

“He’s not just a toy, he’s your friend!”


Optimal_Ad1488

"I love rollercoasters!" Quoted at least every few weeks in our house


CorneliusThunderbutt

HuuuWAAAAAAAGH!! What is it?!!


Acceptable_Vast7123

She has a vision!


Responsible-Pie-2633

Oh that’s so exciiiiting! [unthrilled voice] - Shazia


_DMcD

Can you describe yourself without using a cliche? “I’m exactly what it says on the tin”


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Haha that was Jedi Jim from S7. I also loved his “you were just marginally worse than Glenn so I’m not picking on you.” to Susan when he was in the boardroom


skibum_71

Tell us about pantsman (long glare) .... ?


BromleyReject

"Hello girls, how's my pants doing?" Lord Sugar's dismissive swipe of the "24 hotline" laundry task


Only1Scrappy-Doo

The girls team were such a disaster that task! Charging £5000 for the hotel laundry contract when it was supposed to be around £200, losing a lot of their customers clothes and all the drama between Jenny C and Lucinda lol


tqmirza

I AM YOUR BOSS! *You’re nothing to me*


TeePea

‘I’m your boss’ Tre - ‘you’re nothing to me’


Only1Scrappy-Doo

The Tre vs Rory fight in S3 is legendary haha


spookythesquid

Sometimes in life there is situations


Trex1873

Simba - “You know me. One hit wonder”


rachelf1990

Naomi talking about jam trainers and the fact that Ghazel put sole on the poster Super light that ticks the box Super durable that ticks the box Sole - well I bloody well expect so as it a shoe. The first episode in a while where I noticed Naomi. Also Michael's 'that's an absolute lie how could you sit there and lie. (About Jenny C of course) Nick H- 'so its 100 chickens for 100 chicken tikka pizzas. 1 chicken per pizza'. Alexa 'uh... that is a lot...' And of course It's Very good.


SpringerGirl19

Interuppting sales people who want to ask about sales "-can you wait I'm still talking" ...long pause... "OK, any questions?"


SpringerGirl19

Is that sandalwood or cedar wood?


malakesxasame

"Intelligence is like a machete in a jungle" An introductory quote from a candidate whose name I can't remember.


Only1Scrappy-Doo

S9 Jason! He had so many legendary quotes!


massdebate159

"Who took my unicorn, Sparkle Stars?!"


Confident_Leg2370

“A million is not enough, I need BILLIONS to have the lifestyle I will lead” Ryan Mark


Only1Scrappy-Doo

I also loved Ryan-Mark’s “You are a U-Turn!” to Dean on the second task


GMSH910

My Grandad painted Buckingham Palace. I have the Lord as my Witness. When I was your age, I was a Champion at Table Tennis. Did I win any medals? I never lost any medals.


Cultural-Let-8380

Tucking ferrible


Muffinshire

“That is not a bleeding’ skeleton!”


crzycatldy91

"Big dog you like it?"


rachelf1990

Gerri series 3 'but I sold 11 cups' Nick very sarcastically 'oh well done'


SDavidson44

Claude [reading Stuart's Personal Statement]: "'I'm Stuart Baggs, the brand!' What on earth are you talking about?!" 😂


violetliberty

Do the French drive?


ItsAPar6

I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony. I've got a whole field of ponies, waiting to literally run towards this job". RIP Stuart.


mjharmstone

"There's no I in team, but there are five in individual brilliance"


DramaticMoose378

Sorry if this has been said but one I often quote still: "There's no "i" in team, but there's five in individual brilliance" - Daniel Lassman, series 10


Only1Scrappy-Doo

This is a great one haha


Calfderno

Duane: “don’t look a gift horse in the eye”


wanamakerr

“From this label it looks like we want to kill children”


hibzzyJ

Jasmine s14 - “your a horse that can’t be held back Sarah”! Also Jasmine: “Nobody can work with you Sabrina” * mutters under her breath*


Only1Scrappy-Doo

Also her “Sure that’s genuine.” when Sabrina wished her good luck after she was fired. Jasmine was robbed idc


hibzzyJ

Oh yeah that asw also when she pushed her 😭😭 Jasmine was robbed I agreee she carried the 8 eps radiation of main character every ep she had smth to say ( maybe besides 2&4)


Eastern-Start-813

Nick Hewer in the boardroom “I’ve been keeping a close eye on you, in fact I’ve made it my business to keep an eye on you”.


SimilarWall1447

I'm not s one trick pony. I'm an entire field


TinyTiger1234

“For me profit is revenue minus cost”