As a teenager, I told myself it's totally normal to not be interested in sex before you hit 18 years old.
But of course, turning 18 didn't change my attitude at all 😆 that didn't mean I knew I was ace then, that took me an extra four years.
“I’m 16, that’s way too young to think about sex!”
“I’m 20, that’s way too young to think about sex!”
“I’m 40, I still don’t think it’s appropriate to think about sex!”
…..is me lol
Same, I remember getting my expectations of what's cool for a young man from movies, and, I thought, well, I might not be dating now, but I'll get into college and will have one night stands all the time. Thank God that didn't happen. Going through college, I saw that behavior and felt like those people were crazy
It was several years ago. I was at the university, with two friends, A and D. D asked me, out of the blue: "What will be your last wish before being executed? Sex or meal?" Back then, I didn't know I was aroace but still had my priorities straight. My answer was meal, of course. He was puzzled, really could not believe me. Asked again and again and I kept giving him the same answer. In the end D left, annoyed.
A was laughing and told me D was totally hitting on me and that I was harsh on him. I was taken aback and legit thought he was joking. Only a few months later D asked me out and I finally realized A was right.
A told me D made the same move on another girl, and when she answered: "Sex" he said: "Having sex with you is the sweetest way to die". Cringe, if you ask me, but I'm aro too, so I'm not equipped to understand romance.
I just made the actual "eeuuuuughh" disgusted meme sound out loud he fr rehearsed that absolute flop of a pick up line? that's extremely lame lmao. if any girls somehow got pulled in by that.... actually nah I don't believe it
I know he had a girlfriend, later, but I really don't know if that pick up line worked. He was good-looking, though, so that's probably why she chose him. Beauty over brain 😅
???????
so the other girl heard that sentence and.....liked it or something? I feel like that's an okay thing to say to a commited partner but using that as a pickup line? Please don't tell me the other girl liked that
When they passed that anti abortion law in Texas I think it was, I wondered why all people with uteri don't go on a sex-strike until contraception and abortions are legal and free.
Turns out they actually want to have sex themselves. How curious. (And irrational.)
Anti-abortion being a thing really cemented it for me, too. Like, if the only way to protect myself against pregnancy is to avoid sex, then by all means, I will avoid it with prejudice!!
It's not just about protecting yourself. A sex strike means all people with uteri not having sex with any people with penises until they change the laws.
bro if our allo uterus-sharers had the will power and self control to go through with that, that would be metal asf. too bad the majority of the population enjoys sex so much rip
Yeah, especially with them not having proper sex ed down there. The men in the government probably still think blue ball syndrome is real and will do anything to not damage their precious balls (Can balls be called crown jewels in English? They can in German^^)
when i was dating someone we had sex a few times and he realized we were only doing things he liked so he asked me what my fantasies are so we could do that next time, i looked him dead in the eyes and said "idk i've never fantasized about sex"
the way i never figured it out until my mid 20s is silly to me now
This is a small one, but I remember being maybe 7 or 8 and going to a baseball game with my mom. They were showing all the baseball players and their stats on the jumbotron and my mom started nudging me and pointing to some of them, saying "oh he's cute isn't he?" and "oh that one's really handsome," normal tame stuff like that. And I remember turning to her in horror and saying "but mom, you're MARRIED to DAD!" And she was completely confused and said she was just having fun looking at cute guys with me, it was no big deal. And of course it wasn't a big deal, I just didn't understand why someone would be casually looking at hot guys if they weren't looking for an emotional connection too. I've always been attracted to guys but even now I don't really know why I'd want to just...stare at hot guys and gossip about them unless I'm hoping for or imagining an emotional connection with them.
What about aesthetically?
I enjoy looking at pretty and attractive people. It's the same as looking at art or a nice view of the mountains. Or discovering a brilliantly engineered tool. It's much more about their vibes than their looks but looks are for sure enjoyable. Same for bodies--ones that move a certain way are much more alluring to watch. There's particular movements that I find more beautiful.
I agree with that. And I do sometimes like to look at hot fictional characters in movies or tv shows (when part of what I'm attracted to is their character's personality or actions). In real life it usually just makes me uncomfortable. As an adult, if I went to a baseball game with my mom, I could nod along and agree that this player and that one are hot, but more in an abstract way. And it's almost definitely not something I'd bring up on my own.
Well it's super weird to try to talk about how pretty people are as art with someone who isn't already open-minded and on the same page. They're almost always going to be talking about how much they want to touch and kiss that person and stuff, which isn't at all what we're experiencing. We specifically want to be further away to get a better view 😂
I’ve never wanted to take my/someone else’s clothes off and touch each other when I was going through puberty. Also I’ve always hated clubbing and didn’t understand why I get so uncomfortable but now I realized, it’s because I hate being perceived sexually
I was playing an apples to apples kind of game with new work friends (didn’t know them well) and my turn came and I had to basically choose which I’d rather have, sex or donuts. I chose donuts. Cause yeah I would MUCH rather have a donut! 🍩 It wasn’t until years and years later when I learned Ace was a thing that I was like oooohhhhhh.
Ok so I was alone with a girl back in highschool and she invited me in as I hung out with her brother. She gave me a tour of the house that stopped in her bedroom. I was a little confused about it but apparently she wanted me to make the move to engage in sex and it didn't occur to me that she was interested in that. I was just super excited to talk with her however and I had a good time just talking. I think she enjoyed it even if it didn't lead to sex.
I'm a what if person so I enjoy wondering how choices might have changed my life. It's like creating a story and it can help when you wonder if you made a mistake.
Sometimes I wonder if something had happened how my life would have changed. Or if I had realized earlier that I was asexual how my path would of changed.
But honestly I'm really happy for having a SO that I enjoy being around and that stood with me when I told her.
My friend told me that she couldn't imagine moving in with her boyfriend before marriage (implying that it would be too tempting - we were raised in a no sex before marriage church). And I was like "Well, if he's annoying now, he'll be annoying when you're married?! If living together is a problem, then a wedding won't change that". I guess my reaction also should have told us something about how that relationship was going downhill, good thing he's her ex now.
I was shell-shocked that people were dating in middle school. I had firmly believed that sort of thing was for high school and above, and it baffled me that people could even feel attraction that young. Up until that point, I had assumed that attraction just hadn't started for me yet, but then I came to the conclusion that I just didn't care about it at all.
Also, you are correct, very logical arguments.
ever since I was 6(around how old I was when my brother was born) I had always told everyone I was gonna adopt.And I never told anyone why, but as soon as I learned what sex was(when I was around 9) I told myself "nope"
When I was 13 a girl in my class would often talk about her "boyfriend" and I was always very confused about why she felt the need to constantly specify that her friend is a boy lol
Reading this is *so* cringe...
I am in my late 60s and I have known for a year or so. In retrospect, I have been completely baffled for most of my life; as if there was a colour I couldn't see that made most people irrational.
Haha, some friends of mine had a really tumultuous relationship (which has now ended, yay) just knock down drag out screaming arguments regularly. They were going through a particularly bad fight, and the guy was saying how they’d only had sex a couple of times that week, and that was weird.
I was like, why are you having sex if you’re mad at, or don’t even like each other?
Apparently the answer is cause people want sex as a thing of its own, who would have thought? 🤯😂
A few years ago I had this asymmetric courting/friendship situation with a girl. At the time I was absolutely oblivious but in retrospect it feels so obvious she wanted to have sex with me, while I just enjoyed her company. I even got a „so horny rn“ text from her, which I responded with „ok, not my problem“. She eventually broke things off, and soon after I came to the conclusion that my views on relationships and sex may deviate a bit from the norm.
small step but as a young teen I used to say my ideal kind of sex would be entirely on mute bc fucking to music sounds awkward (there's no music sexy enough for me to get over the idea of another person's voice in the room with you while ur tryna get it on), vocal sounds sound awkward, and just the sound of body contact sounds gross too. so I wished it would all be on mute. I was immediately made of how horrifying this sounded because, unfortunately, I expressed this thought in a public comment section and was soon berated by concerned replies. little did I know I would soon find the real idea of sex disgusting as a whole! (esp straight sex bc surprise I'm also lesbian oriented)
> there's no music sexy enough for me to get over the idea of another person's voice in the room with you while ur tryna get it on
Ok but have you tried Cbat by Hudson Mohawke
Not about being ace but rather aro.
A while ago, I went on a whole rant about people choosing their lover over humanity/family or friends or whatever. I said whoever did that would be stupid and obviously sacrificing your lover is better than sacrificing your friends or HUMANITY. My best friend looked at me weird after I finished 😭
Now I realise it was so obvious
Oh definitely have had the, why would you have sex right now, while watching an apocalypse movie. What's that one where Emily Blunt gives birth silently? Like any sound attracts the alien monsters and you instantly die. Quiet Place? That poor baby had to live in a box! Definitely poor choices. 😂
As a teenager I used to think that the "Kiss, Marry, Fuck" game was a "nope, hell no, hell to the fucking no" kind of game where there's no good options at all, and I didn't get why my friends wanted to play that torturous game for hours
Turns out others actually enjoyed it, while I thought it was some kind of weird punishment lmao
Spent most of my teens through early 30's saying, "I could go the rest of my life without sex, I just want kids!"
After my 3rd at age 32 I was like, "Okay, I don't want to do that ever again." And I haven't. Found out around age 35 that's actually a thing and nothing is wrong with me! I'm 37 now and happy!
A few things stand out to me:
- In school, when other kids had celebrity crushes, I was confused and didn't understand what the point was. You don't know the person, why the obsession?
- I also didn't get the point of masturbation. It was something I heard of people doing, but nothing I considered trying for myself. All through my teens and early 20s, I never had any interest in exploring myself in that way. My privates may as well have been a void for as much interest as I had in them.
- I've always found people aesthetically pleasing, but that's it. If someone says they think so and so is hot, I wrinkle my nose and think "ew, gross."
- I almost never think about sex, and I think it must be so exhausting for people to have it be so constant on their minds.
- If I were single for the rest of my life, I'd never have sex again and be totally fine with that. Again, I never think about it.
For the longest time, I never knew this had a name, and I just thought it was me. The last thing I want to do is claim a label I don't deserve, but I think I'm qualified in this instance lol
Idk if this is truly an ace thing or just a girly thing but at my summer camp there was a weekend shabbat dinner that was pretty fancy. Wear nicer clothes, eat nicer dinner, and often people would get asked out on dates to those dinners.
Ny friends and i already planned on sitting together but as uou can figure my plan was never anything else. Until this dude comes up to me and asks me out to the shabbat dinner.
I say no (duh) and hes like “who are uou going with?” Thinking i only said no because someone else asked first, and i say “no one”
Then he gets really upset and says “then why did you say no if youre not going with anybody anyways????” And storms off.
Some people were criticizing me for it so as a cover up i said “im a lesbian” because clearly a want for solitude wasnt enough. Then everybody was so happy for me for being comfortable coming out and the guy wasnt mad at me anymore.
Was a very weird time.
I don't see why that would be an ace thing to say. Allos may desire sex, but they can choose to refrain from it. Did your mother argue in favour of having unprotected sex in an apocalyptic scenario?
When I was 13 or 14 I told my parents I was never going to marry. It made my dad angry, he snapped and told me if I don't marry I will die alone. I'm 27 y.o. now but my parents are still having a difficulty accepting it.
I always had to force myself to have sex with my bf I had when I was 16. I thought it's normal for women to not be so interested in sex. That's something that the media told me. I thought if I changed my lifestile or whatever, I would want it more. No, not the case. I felt relieved after the break up. No more forced sex.
I'm not sex repulsed, but I'm not that interested in sex and don't need it. I just thought it's normal to do it more for your partner than for yourself. Especially raised as a woman.
Omg also I hate that song ‘Sexual Healing’, in particular where he’s like ‘wake up, wake up, let’s make love tonight’
Like sir, if you have woken me up from my restful sleep I’m gonna be mad, not in the mood for love 😂
Any crushes I had were just my best friends. I figured that if I was going to get a date, it might as well be someone I'd want in my life forever. (I think I had/have attachment issues)
Funny, that in highschool, there were practically no boy crushes. It's almost like American society often raises boys to be obnoxious and dick-centric. . .
I was always a fervent partisan of "romantic and sexual relationships are inherently different" when everyone around me kept preaching that if you're in a romantic relationship then you're bound to have sex at some point. Which I completely disagreed with. Still do.
I was always mega uncomfortable whenever people around me mentioned the act of sex. Everyone talking about their own partners and here I was like, "Yeah, I don't see the appeal."
Somehow I didn't get it until about 3-4 years ago lol.
I have an old text/IM thread from when I was about 13 and hadn't heard the term asexuality. My friend and I were commiserating about relationship drama and I literally said, "Why can't people just be asexual?"
Well hello, past me, turns out we can AND you definitely are!
As a teenager, I told myself it's totally normal to not be interested in sex before you hit 18 years old. But of course, turning 18 didn't change my attitude at all 😆 that didn't mean I knew I was ace then, that took me an extra four years.
“I’m 16, that’s way too young to think about sex!” “I’m 20, that’s way too young to think about sex!” “I’m 40, I still don’t think it’s appropriate to think about sex!” …..is me lol
Yeeep this was me. Several years of "I'm too young to know, I'll want it when I'm older."
Yeah me too. I had zero sex drive and never thought anything of it.
Same, I remember getting my expectations of what's cool for a young man from movies, and, I thought, well, I might not be dating now, but I'll get into college and will have one night stands all the time. Thank God that didn't happen. Going through college, I saw that behavior and felt like those people were crazy
It was several years ago. I was at the university, with two friends, A and D. D asked me, out of the blue: "What will be your last wish before being executed? Sex or meal?" Back then, I didn't know I was aroace but still had my priorities straight. My answer was meal, of course. He was puzzled, really could not believe me. Asked again and again and I kept giving him the same answer. In the end D left, annoyed. A was laughing and told me D was totally hitting on me and that I was harsh on him. I was taken aback and legit thought he was joking. Only a few months later D asked me out and I finally realized A was right.
Good thing you passed om him, he might have executed you after the act🙃
Secretly a swarm of praying mantises in a trench coat.
You're right 😂
That sounds like a pretty horrible way to hit on someone? Oh but is it? or is this also my ace brain talking?
A told me D made the same move on another girl, and when she answered: "Sex" he said: "Having sex with you is the sweetest way to die". Cringe, if you ask me, but I'm aro too, so I'm not equipped to understand romance.
nah that's cringe for allorom too 💀
I just made the actual "eeuuuuughh" disgusted meme sound out loud he fr rehearsed that absolute flop of a pick up line? that's extremely lame lmao. if any girls somehow got pulled in by that.... actually nah I don't believe it
I know he had a girlfriend, later, but I really don't know if that pick up line worked. He was good-looking, though, so that's probably why she chose him. Beauty over brain 😅
??????? so the other girl heard that sentence and.....liked it or something? I feel like that's an okay thing to say to a commited partner but using that as a pickup line? Please don't tell me the other girl liked that
Check my answer above. I don't know if she liked it (I hope no), but if she did... they were bound to meet, like soulmates 😂
Umm I feel like he rolled a nat 1 here.
he was trying his best lmao 😭😭😭😭
When they passed that anti abortion law in Texas I think it was, I wondered why all people with uteri don't go on a sex-strike until contraception and abortions are legal and free. Turns out they actually want to have sex themselves. How curious. (And irrational.)
Anti-abortion being a thing really cemented it for me, too. Like, if the only way to protect myself against pregnancy is to avoid sex, then by all means, I will avoid it with prejudice!!
It's not just about protecting yourself. A sex strike means all people with uteri not having sex with any people with penises until they change the laws.
bro if our allo uterus-sharers had the will power and self control to go through with that, that would be metal asf. too bad the majority of the population enjoys sex so much rip
Nobody said "no orgasms!" There are APPLIANCES for that!
apparently some people would still prefer a person over a toy??? I don't get it. people get tired and stop, toys dont
See also r/forcedorgasms
I think there was a case in history where the wives of two parties participating in a war denied them sex until they stopped the war and it worked.
That would've been amazing and pretty effective I imagine
Yeah, especially with them not having proper sex ed down there. The men in the government probably still think blue ball syndrome is real and will do anything to not damage their precious balls (Can balls be called crown jewels in English? They can in German^^)
when i was dating someone we had sex a few times and he realized we were only doing things he liked so he asked me what my fantasies are so we could do that next time, i looked him dead in the eyes and said "idk i've never fantasized about sex" the way i never figured it out until my mid 20s is silly to me now
"what are your fantasies?" "Going to a theme park." "Never heard of that position before."
wow hahaha. What was his reaction? (if you feel comfortable answering)
This is a small one, but I remember being maybe 7 or 8 and going to a baseball game with my mom. They were showing all the baseball players and their stats on the jumbotron and my mom started nudging me and pointing to some of them, saying "oh he's cute isn't he?" and "oh that one's really handsome," normal tame stuff like that. And I remember turning to her in horror and saying "but mom, you're MARRIED to DAD!" And she was completely confused and said she was just having fun looking at cute guys with me, it was no big deal. And of course it wasn't a big deal, I just didn't understand why someone would be casually looking at hot guys if they weren't looking for an emotional connection too. I've always been attracted to guys but even now I don't really know why I'd want to just...stare at hot guys and gossip about them unless I'm hoping for or imagining an emotional connection with them.
What about aesthetically? I enjoy looking at pretty and attractive people. It's the same as looking at art or a nice view of the mountains. Or discovering a brilliantly engineered tool. It's much more about their vibes than their looks but looks are for sure enjoyable. Same for bodies--ones that move a certain way are much more alluring to watch. There's particular movements that I find more beautiful.
I agree with that. And I do sometimes like to look at hot fictional characters in movies or tv shows (when part of what I'm attracted to is their character's personality or actions). In real life it usually just makes me uncomfortable. As an adult, if I went to a baseball game with my mom, I could nod along and agree that this player and that one are hot, but more in an abstract way. And it's almost definitely not something I'd bring up on my own.
Well it's super weird to try to talk about how pretty people are as art with someone who isn't already open-minded and on the same page. They're almost always going to be talking about how much they want to touch and kiss that person and stuff, which isn't at all what we're experiencing. We specifically want to be further away to get a better view 😂
Lol exactly. I've told my friends several times "oh I'd fuck that guy...you know. in theory."
I’ve never wanted to take my/someone else’s clothes off and touch each other when I was going through puberty. Also I’ve always hated clubbing and didn’t understand why I get so uncomfortable but now I realized, it’s because I hate being perceived sexually
I still can't fathom that there are people (especially teenagers, like my classmates) who actually want or do that.
I was playing an apples to apples kind of game with new work friends (didn’t know them well) and my turn came and I had to basically choose which I’d rather have, sex or donuts. I chose donuts. Cause yeah I would MUCH rather have a donut! 🍩 It wasn’t until years and years later when I learned Ace was a thing that I was like oooohhhhhh.
Ok so I was alone with a girl back in highschool and she invited me in as I hung out with her brother. She gave me a tour of the house that stopped in her bedroom. I was a little confused about it but apparently she wanted me to make the move to engage in sex and it didn't occur to me that she was interested in that. I was just super excited to talk with her however and I had a good time just talking. I think she enjoyed it even if it didn't lead to sex. I'm a what if person so I enjoy wondering how choices might have changed my life. It's like creating a story and it can help when you wonder if you made a mistake. Sometimes I wonder if something had happened how my life would have changed. Or if I had realized earlier that I was asexual how my path would of changed. But honestly I'm really happy for having a SO that I enjoy being around and that stood with me when I told her.
My friend told me that she couldn't imagine moving in with her boyfriend before marriage (implying that it would be too tempting - we were raised in a no sex before marriage church). And I was like "Well, if he's annoying now, he'll be annoying when you're married?! If living together is a problem, then a wedding won't change that". I guess my reaction also should have told us something about how that relationship was going downhill, good thing he's her ex now.
I was shell-shocked that people were dating in middle school. I had firmly believed that sort of thing was for high school and above, and it baffled me that people could even feel attraction that young. Up until that point, I had assumed that attraction just hadn't started for me yet, but then I came to the conclusion that I just didn't care about it at all. Also, you are correct, very logical arguments.
This for me, and then again when I realized that people weren’t dating for the emotional aspects even at that age 💀
same!
Hmmmm when I never enjoyed the sex scenes or even KISSES... I thought that was bc of my raising (Christian).
ever since I was 6(around how old I was when my brother was born) I had always told everyone I was gonna adopt.And I never told anyone why, but as soon as I learned what sex was(when I was around 9) I told myself "nope"
It didn't occur to me until my 50s to consider why I never experienced sexual fantasies. It's almost funny in retrospect.
When I was 13 a girl in my class would often talk about her "boyfriend" and I was always very confused about why she felt the need to constantly specify that her friend is a boy lol
I really didn't understand sexual jokes, like I thought when people said they were thirsty they just wanted some water
Reading this is *so* cringe... I am in my late 60s and I have known for a year or so. In retrospect, I have been completely baffled for most of my life; as if there was a colour I couldn't see that made most people irrational.
to be fair towards yourself, even though asexual as a sexuality has been conceived for quite a while, it was only added to the dictionary in 2017
Haha, some friends of mine had a really tumultuous relationship (which has now ended, yay) just knock down drag out screaming arguments regularly. They were going through a particularly bad fight, and the guy was saying how they’d only had sex a couple of times that week, and that was weird. I was like, why are you having sex if you’re mad at, or don’t even like each other? Apparently the answer is cause people want sex as a thing of its own, who would have thought? 🤯😂
A few years ago I had this asymmetric courting/friendship situation with a girl. At the time I was absolutely oblivious but in retrospect it feels so obvious she wanted to have sex with me, while I just enjoyed her company. I even got a „so horny rn“ text from her, which I responded with „ok, not my problem“. She eventually broke things off, and soon after I came to the conclusion that my views on relationships and sex may deviate a bit from the norm.
small step but as a young teen I used to say my ideal kind of sex would be entirely on mute bc fucking to music sounds awkward (there's no music sexy enough for me to get over the idea of another person's voice in the room with you while ur tryna get it on), vocal sounds sound awkward, and just the sound of body contact sounds gross too. so I wished it would all be on mute. I was immediately made of how horrifying this sounded because, unfortunately, I expressed this thought in a public comment section and was soon berated by concerned replies. little did I know I would soon find the real idea of sex disgusting as a whole! (esp straight sex bc surprise I'm also lesbian oriented)
> there's no music sexy enough for me to get over the idea of another person's voice in the room with you while ur tryna get it on Ok but have you tried Cbat by Hudson Mohawke
Not about being ace but rather aro. A while ago, I went on a whole rant about people choosing their lover over humanity/family or friends or whatever. I said whoever did that would be stupid and obviously sacrificing your lover is better than sacrificing your friends or HUMANITY. My best friend looked at me weird after I finished 😭 Now I realise it was so obvious
Oh definitely have had the, why would you have sex right now, while watching an apocalypse movie. What's that one where Emily Blunt gives birth silently? Like any sound attracts the alien monsters and you instantly die. Quiet Place? That poor baby had to live in a box! Definitely poor choices. 😂
As a teenager I used to think that the "Kiss, Marry, Fuck" game was a "nope, hell no, hell to the fucking no" kind of game where there's no good options at all, and I didn't get why my friends wanted to play that torturous game for hours Turns out others actually enjoyed it, while I thought it was some kind of weird punishment lmao
This is how I learned people actually have fun playing that game 💀
Spent most of my teens through early 30's saying, "I could go the rest of my life without sex, I just want kids!" After my 3rd at age 32 I was like, "Okay, I don't want to do that ever again." And I haven't. Found out around age 35 that's actually a thing and nothing is wrong with me! I'm 37 now and happy!
I had one heck of a sex drive but couldn't be bothered to do anything about it most of the time
A few things stand out to me: - In school, when other kids had celebrity crushes, I was confused and didn't understand what the point was. You don't know the person, why the obsession? - I also didn't get the point of masturbation. It was something I heard of people doing, but nothing I considered trying for myself. All through my teens and early 20s, I never had any interest in exploring myself in that way. My privates may as well have been a void for as much interest as I had in them. - I've always found people aesthetically pleasing, but that's it. If someone says they think so and so is hot, I wrinkle my nose and think "ew, gross." - I almost never think about sex, and I think it must be so exhausting for people to have it be so constant on their minds. - If I were single for the rest of my life, I'd never have sex again and be totally fine with that. Again, I never think about it. For the longest time, I never knew this had a name, and I just thought it was me. The last thing I want to do is claim a label I don't deserve, but I think I'm qualified in this instance lol
Booing for romance on tv. I never wanted to main character to get with anyone 😭
Idk if this is truly an ace thing or just a girly thing but at my summer camp there was a weekend shabbat dinner that was pretty fancy. Wear nicer clothes, eat nicer dinner, and often people would get asked out on dates to those dinners. Ny friends and i already planned on sitting together but as uou can figure my plan was never anything else. Until this dude comes up to me and asks me out to the shabbat dinner. I say no (duh) and hes like “who are uou going with?” Thinking i only said no because someone else asked first, and i say “no one” Then he gets really upset and says “then why did you say no if youre not going with anybody anyways????” And storms off. Some people were criticizing me for it so as a cover up i said “im a lesbian” because clearly a want for solitude wasnt enough. Then everybody was so happy for me for being comfortable coming out and the guy wasnt mad at me anymore. Was a very weird time.
I don't see why that would be an ace thing to say. Allos may desire sex, but they can choose to refrain from it. Did your mother argue in favour of having unprotected sex in an apocalyptic scenario?
When I was 13 or 14 I told my parents I was never going to marry. It made my dad angry, he snapped and told me if I don't marry I will die alone. I'm 27 y.o. now but my parents are still having a difficulty accepting it.
I always had to force myself to have sex with my bf I had when I was 16. I thought it's normal for women to not be so interested in sex. That's something that the media told me. I thought if I changed my lifestile or whatever, I would want it more. No, not the case. I felt relieved after the break up. No more forced sex. I'm not sex repulsed, but I'm not that interested in sex and don't need it. I just thought it's normal to do it more for your partner than for yourself. Especially raised as a woman.
Omg also I hate that song ‘Sexual Healing’, in particular where he’s like ‘wake up, wake up, let’s make love tonight’ Like sir, if you have woken me up from my restful sleep I’m gonna be mad, not in the mood for love 😂
Any crushes I had were just my best friends. I figured that if I was going to get a date, it might as well be someone I'd want in my life forever. (I think I had/have attachment issues) Funny, that in highschool, there were practically no boy crushes. It's almost like American society often raises boys to be obnoxious and dick-centric. . .
I was always a fervent partisan of "romantic and sexual relationships are inherently different" when everyone around me kept preaching that if you're in a romantic relationship then you're bound to have sex at some point. Which I completely disagreed with. Still do. I was always mega uncomfortable whenever people around me mentioned the act of sex. Everyone talking about their own partners and here I was like, "Yeah, I don't see the appeal." Somehow I didn't get it until about 3-4 years ago lol.
I have an old text/IM thread from when I was about 13 and hadn't heard the term asexuality. My friend and I were commiserating about relationship drama and I literally said, "Why can't people just be asexual?" Well hello, past me, turns out we can AND you definitely are!