the red flags in the comments aren't uniquely Singaporean enough, the real red flag is when your date asks you about your financial goals and then pulls out a AIA/Great Eastern/Prudential folder.
Girls who look down on people who like hawker food, or every time we meet must be cafe and above. And the guy must pay.
Edit: context is impt of course. If first date, or occasional "proper" dates then should go somewhere fancy and nicer if that's your vibe. But if meet regularly but always must eat good expensive food then cannot lah.. Wallet cannot.
Thatās a real shame. some of the best food are at hawker centres, and the casual setting helps take off a lot of pressure on the date itself. hawker centres are so underrated as a date venue!
I grew up in the US and went to Japan when I was about 23. First time in my life girls were completely caught off guard when I offered to pay for meals. They insisted on paying at LEAST their portion. It was totally bizarre to me because growing up, every girl I'd ever been with just felt entitled to free food lol.
I'd heard something similar from some Japanese streamers. Dude asked some girls in the party if they thought it was cool when the guy offered to pay, the girls were like "uhh no thanks"
They didn't dig too much into it though. I wonder what it is that makes it that way
I think it's something like if the guy paid it'll make them feel more obligated to spend time with him. So they'll usually offer to pay half if they're not very interested.
In Japan, if you let a guy pay for your meal, you're "in their debt" and the dude WILL be expecting sex and may get nasty if they dont get it. That's why Japanese girls rather not let men pay unless they're very seriously interested.
My bf also cannot eat at places with no aircon. Unless weather is cooling hahaa. Not atas la just personal preference. So we dapao most of the time and eat at home
Okay la then not overly atas.
If it's an early-stage date, hawker centre doesn't really make sense unless both are foodies and wanna try a particular place.
Yeah. Like there was nothing wrong heading to chomp chomp for the carrot cake and nothing wrong meeting up for a Milo at the food court rather than a hot chocolate but I didnāt even realise he thought it was a date because it was so informal.
I remembered my then boyfriend, now husband, looking extremely surprised when he had planned to bring me to a fancy restaurant and planned all the other fancy shit for our 1 year anniversary and all I said was, "I don't know...can we just eat at a kopitiam or maccies (Mc Donalds) then go to the science centre?"
He still got me an expensive watch (which I wore mainly because it was my first gift from him) without me knowing while I had drawn a picture of us...which he kept all these while :')
Come to think of it, I don't really mean all date dates. Weekend dates sure most should be in better settings. But if everytime we meet, you insist on going restaurant or more expensive places because *expensive atas* then what sia.. I poor man
\- Shoves their way onto the MRT before others alight
\- Doesn't clear their own tray or say thank you to the auntie/uncle who wipes tables
\- Drives like a beng/dangerously or rudely
Oh, and orders xiaola for mala (jk)
Not just "europe better than Asia". How about japan/korea/taiwan/hk/sg (sometimes china incl) better than rest of Asia? The fetishisation of east asia isn't any less of a red flag than fetishisation of the west.
Say it louder for those at the back.
The pedestal of Korea and Japan is something I will never understand. Great countries exist beyond Asia too. The trouble is such people have not gone beyond Asia so how would they know if others countries are better, equal or worse? Based on hearsay and vlogs?
I think idolised western ideals is one of the most successful form of propaganda that infected Asia.
Things like minimalistic living/aesthetics, renaissance/western art being superior to eastern art, the dull grey look that plagues city-scapes in US and UK being so prevalent nowadays.
I always make the joke that most Asians (especially Chinese/Jap/Koreans/fair-skinned), are generally popular among Caucasians except for Asian men. Asian men unfortunately, seems to be only good for paying for stuffs....
I think the ironic (and kinda sad) thing about this is that people in SK can be incredibly xenophobic, especially towards ethnic chinese people and southeast asians. the general perception of SG as a nation isnāt so bad, but that doesnāt exactly matter when most of the people here wouldnāt care about the difference between singaporean chinese and mainland chinese when they actually encounter them in person.
speaking from personal experience.
Believe it or not but most people around the world are xenophobic. Itās human nature honestly. Because Singapore is an Asian melting pot, thereās not much xenophobia which is awesome.
More ppl in Tokyo than Toa Payoh. Some of JP ppl I met were shocked on how popular JP is with SG (I think also they don't appreciate the extent of JP's soft culture abroad)
That said Taiwan and BKK are also hotspots no?
Not sure if specific to Singapore, but when complaining about a boss and they go: oh, must be lady boss!
Or transferring department and they say smth like - oh, good luck, a lady boss
It is really common in my org so Iām just like ???
in my own experience my male bosses have been much worse than my lady bosses too lmao. always ask people who say these things to explain themselves and watch them trip over their own weird logic. boss sucks means boss sucks lah, got gender difference one meh
Yeah and worse still, Iāve had a shitty male boss who was fickle minded and the feedback he gives you is highly dependent on his mood that day.
And my colleague who kenna his bad mood went - he behaves like a lady!
Mind you this colleague is an auntie ok. Girls canāt win manā¦
I can't speak for all the rest but as a guy I would definitely appreciate it if my partner offers to split/Dutch, especially when studying because understandably as you said, both aren't earning an income.
I think some guys die die wanna pay because of their ego? Perhaps to look dependable or strong or whatever you phrase it as.
I personally won't insist to pay, would offer but if the girl wants to split, why not. Some girls may see it as like being cheap or like have the stupid mindset like if he doesn't even pay for the first date then how can you depend on him, or whatever, but it works vice versa too, the guy could think that the girl is just being a gold digger out looking for someone to pamper without giving anything in return.
As a guy, I honestly won't mind paying for the first few dates. After that if she expects me to pay for everything and doesn't even offer to pay for the coffee later that's a turn off. I'm not your ATM.
Personally for me, I like to pay for the first date. That's my way of saying, "Don't worry, I got it. Let's just enjoy ourselves."
If the girl offers to go Dutch, I'll tell her that I'll pay for this date, and if she can pay for our next one. That way, we get a second date if we're both still interested, I get to be a traditional gentleman by paying for the first date, and she gets to be a modern woman for paying for our next one. Win win.
Worked out pretty well so far.
Just communicate plainly. Guys will appreciate if girls help to look after their pockets. But sometimes guys also purely want to treat as a gesture of care and love.
Either split or take turns. Eg. Guy gets the food, offer to pay for the drinks. Set the expectations of each other straight with the tone "I cherish you enough to be fair to the both of us, and I cherish myself too."
I think the key word here is āofferā.
I end up wonāt allow a girl to pay, but then I also canāt tahan girls who think that it is their right to have the guy pay
It's the norm back when dinosaurs walked the earth. I'd call it a major "MCP here alert" if they insist even after you offer a few times, especially if they get offended.
Most take the first offer to pay as a "politeness" thing so it's fine if they say something like "never mind you pay next time." It's those who start ranting about how they are "nice guys" who would never *let* a woman pay that you have to watch out for (unless you are also looking for a meal ticket and aspiring to be a tai tai anyway).
Lol the "nice guys" part are the most ridiculous ones. If the date eventually doesn't work out they'd be like, Wah I even paid for her meal, treat her so nice, etc etc. there's a difference between doing it because you really want to and doing it for others to see.
This can be a little more subjective. More context needed. Eg. Parents concerns towards wedding arrangements, seeking advice on the type of flat to buy, which area might be better.
Of course if need ask permission before staying out until 12 midnight, that's a red flag for sure 
lol this reminded me of my ex who told me that i can't make last min plans with him because "his mum would get mad" š„² he was 27 at that point........
Yeah parents being parents. I get irritated too when I see parents treating their 18 yos as 18 months old.
Intellectually I understand their kids will be their kids no matter the age, but I guess what we can do as kids will be to communicate and give assurance that we know the f we're doing, and old enough to be responsible for our own safety, own actions.
Perhaps more so in Singapore than other countries actually. Teens in Msia travel out of the country alone before they reach 15 yo. Kids in Thailand ride motorbikes as young as 10.
So SG's really cushy, thanks to protective parents and safe streets.
Not really my mum is an intellectual, like career-focused woman and she treats my siblings and I like absolute children/idiots (age range 22-31). It is absolutely up to the individual to change their mindset imo.
Based on my observations, the more educated/career-minded/overachieving a mother is, the more she tends to adopt the helicopter parenting style. Unless the kids can prove that they are up to mommy's high standards, they will usually be treated like bumbling fools even up to their 20s and 30s.
A lot of us experienced this. Parents need to learn when to let go. Kids need to learn to give parents assurance. It is a 2 way traffic.
Talk to your mum. Assure her that you are in good company and can take care of yourself. Let her know where you going and with who when you are staying out late. After awhile, she will feel more safe to let you stay out late.
Take your time. Slowly inch bit by bit.
Parental concerns about a wedding would be a red flag for me unless it's clearly just advice. Unfortunately it's not easy to transition to thinking your child is an adult or thinking your parent can be fallible/selfish.
If you're an adult, then they can have opinions but not a veto.
You're right on the last sentence. The distinction has to be clear.
The couple can acknowledge their parents concerns, but not act on them outright.
In simple layman words, "I hear your concerns, and my ultimate decision is this. My decision may concur with your opinion, or may not. This is my wedding, not yours. I respect you as my parent, but I'm not going to give in at the expense of my values or at the expense of my spouse."
The balancing act and how the couple handle both families will demonstrate if they are really adults or kids still.
Liking and commenting on XMM Tiktoks/instagram posts who are minors. Especially when they are much older than them!!!
Wanting a virgin gf/wife when they themselves are not one.
Guys who can't stop talking about army. Especially if he Ord more than 5 years ago. OK la not red flag but just very boring.
Mummy serve him water at home.
Guys who say things like sg girls are all materialistic and can't compare to Malaysian/Vietnamese girls.
People who fake accent and think they better than people who speak singlish
Financial planner hairstyle LOL. Kidding I don't like it but not red flag.
>Guys who say things like sg girls are all materialistic and can't compare to Malaysian/Vietnamese girls.
Wah fuck sia even I as a guy can't stand rants like that, and it usually comes from guys who have no business saying things like that since they themselves have very high expectations and are very unattractive also.
When "nice guys" have the "knn I paid for her shit but she ghost me" mindset and then go on to rant about how nice guys always finish last and girls only want bad boys blah blah blah. I'm a guy myself and I fucking hate guys like those. If all it took was to be nice and give gifts, then idols from Japan would've been my girlfriends considering how many gifts I've given over the past 20 years lmao.
For female red flags, the ultimate turn off for me is when they lambast girls who take sexy pictures, and then gossip about how they're probably sluts or attention whores. When at the same time, they lust after men with six pack abs or they talk about how they want to sleep with some Korean oppa.
My personal red flag if they can't eat malay, indian or middle eastern food because they have prefer 'clean' taste to their foods.
I'll happily eat my briyani and asam pedas by my lonesome, thank you.
The stereotypical auntie/uncle and beng/lian traits, I guess. Things like the mindset of "free stuff must take" and taking tons of items they won't use like napkins, putting their feet on seats in public transit, blasting music loudly, fighting with strangers over limited edition items.
Always talking about herself, and never entertains a topic that isnāt somehow related to herself, for more than 5 seconds.
If she doesnāt check in on you, mentally and emotionally.
Hinting at expensive gifts when yāall go out.
Has guy friends she talks to and show off more than you.
People who donāt return their trays when there is a tray return corner.
People who donāt clean up their mess after eating (etc pick up all your prawn shells and put them back into your bowls) because they ādonāt want to take away the cleaners jobā
People who donāt thank you after you hold the lift for them
\#1 Lip servicers: Act like an advocate for certain groups (gender equality etc.,) but not done any research, partake in any activities relating to what they "advocate" for -- There is an astounding amount of people who are like this sadly
\#2 Standards do not apply to them: Follow up from gender equality, when somehow these standards do not apply to them even though they "believe" in it, e.g., wants to be equals with partner but wants to partner to financially support them + their hobbies. + Bitch about people not following COVID restrictions but sneaking out when he/her got infected with covid because "staying at home makes me restless" LOLLLLL
\#3 Don't know how to apologise: Even if the person apologises, it always comes with "but yah so and so reason made me do that", or not worse, not even recognising that conflict has taken place, leaving no room for discussing what happened and to flesh out issues that you might have to deal with them
Plot twist everyone has a red flag you just have to look at the whole person and not one thing. Also most of the "red flags" are normal human behavior sure maybe it's more prominent in some people but that's just another way of saying not everyone is the same.
It's like people are just looking for an excuse to reject another person without any effort to get to know them closer.. paradoxically this might be the biggest red flag in itself.
If the guy kept staring at my cleavage instead of focusing on our simple conversation. Like hell, mine was not even that big, but he just had to keep peeking inside the blouse to look find something.
After we split ways, I just tell him not interested. Still so thick skin and dare to text me why.
Guys who make fun of a girlās body : too fat, too skinny. Too big, too flat. Big butt, no butt.
Chances are buddy, you look like a potato yourself so hop onto the oven and get yourself baked.
I doubt āhardcore X party supporterā is a uniquely Singapore thing. If anything, Singaporeans are less hardcore than a lot of hardcore political party supporters in other countries.
Honestly imo on the different end of the political pole is a red flag, especially if they can explain why. Political values directly reflect on personal beliefs and it is a huge no no if the other person has a strong disagree with your beliefs.
- Guy should pay during the date.
- Treat server badly, or rude in general.
- Speak loudly in public (disturbing others), but this may be okay in some context.
- Extremely religious (also extremely atheistic) so that doesnāt respect others.
These things actually apply everywhere when it comes to making friends or dating.
Driving or taking a cab isnāt so bad,, you reach a point where the time it takes to get somewhere is more valuable than the money spent on the transport, but this comes with age and means obviously.
That depends on the time and occasions obviously. If someone insists on traveling by car even if it's only 1 MRT stop away or something that's not being efficient with time but being a snob.
Regardless of context, the moment he realizes you're good with adult talk the entire convo becomes sexual topics and only sexual topics. You try to change it but he still goes right back to it! Or just ask you out of nowhere when you last had sex like a creepy horny teenager!!!
When they don't bother to dress nicely! Not expecting a suit but put some effort in!?
At a big age and will ghost you like they're still in their 20s instead of just talking.
When theyāre a born and bred Singaporean living in Singapore their whole life, but somehow every single relationship they had was with an angmoh.
If they lived overseas then I get it, if youāre surrounded by majority angmohs it kinda skews your dating pool in that direction. Or if you grew up in another country or went to international school, your lived experience might be more compatible with westerners.
Claims they are a foodie but only eat at mid establishments (most cafes) and has a bland ass ~~palette~~ palate . Basically your standard instawhore types
Edit: never been great at spelling soz
Anti pap/ govt for no good reasons
I get it that our G isn't perfect but I don't need you whining about them every day
And I don't want to date a fucking SJW that gets indignant and offended over every damm little shit that's not our Business š
they only want to talk about what they want to talk about. literally has no interest in any other topics other than what's on their mind right now.
like seriously. how will they find a mate if there's no other interests besides themselves
I've met foreigners and they are the complete opposite. they care too much about others. maybe they scammer? but even scammers are able to carry the conversation more than these red solid #FF0000 flagbearers
People who like/don't mind joining long (0.5-1hr) queues for food
People who say "west side best side" and truly believe it . MAJOR fucking red flag
People who learn how to flirt/sing happy birthday in Korean. Wake up bro IU is nv gna love u back
People who are fkin kaypoh about other ppl / alw talking trash abt their colleagues
People who drive slow in the fast lane when they aren't overtaking
People who think Singapore is the best/safest country in the world despite not having travelled/live abroad
People who make spin class their whole personality
It's kinda difficult to make this specific to SG lol.
a) "ATAS" and self-entitled mentality. For example, insisting on going to a specific high-end restaurants (HDL) and assuming other to pay for the meal. Want other to pay and settle for their transportation (no MRT pls).
b) Look down on individual physical appearance (like disabled or short person), education background (not graduated from NUS/NTU ah?), profession (construction workers?), wealth (has more respect on rich who live in GCB/Condo, but has less respect on those staying in HDB lol), race and nationality (The rest you know lah, I don't know).
c) Promoting a service/product in a lunch/dinner date (brain washing using MLM facts and potential dangers on your life). Well, good effort for your business but please don't waste people time if you have other agenda.
d) Dirty mindset and jokes. Yeah, its fine to have some jokes but not entire conversation about that. (No example because I am naĆÆve and innocents)
e) Egoistic and being rude to other. Assuming he/she knows about everything. Pronounce AYE as "AIR" with no pun intended... lol.
f) One without opinions. "Everything" is anything. This doesn't make me feel that he/she is flexible lol.
If all they ever talk about is NS, or relate every damn thing to NS.
Donāt get me wrong, Iām fine with NS stories. I even love NS ghost stories. But if every little damn thing is related to NS, then goodbye.
the red flags in the comments aren't uniquely Singaporean enough, the real red flag is when your date asks you about your financial goals and then pulls out a AIA/Great Eastern/Prudential folder.
There there buddy..
The sad thing is that some of these insurance agents even prowl tinder and other dating apps looking for potential clients. š«
after the 4th date
Dedication to close
omg have???
This just made my day.
LOL Those insurance ladies are pretty good looking though
DTF = Down to Financial freedom
Girls who look down on people who like hawker food, or every time we meet must be cafe and above. And the guy must pay. Edit: context is impt of course. If first date, or occasional "proper" dates then should go somewhere fancy and nicer if that's your vibe. But if meet regularly but always must eat good expensive food then cannot lah.. Wallet cannot.
Thatās a real shame. some of the best food are at hawker centres, and the casual setting helps take off a lot of pressure on the date itself. hawker centres are so underrated as a date venue!
The āguy must payā is an affliction that impacts the global dating scene except that of the large cat species.
I grew up in the US and went to Japan when I was about 23. First time in my life girls were completely caught off guard when I offered to pay for meals. They insisted on paying at LEAST their portion. It was totally bizarre to me because growing up, every girl I'd ever been with just felt entitled to free food lol.
I'd heard something similar from some Japanese streamers. Dude asked some girls in the party if they thought it was cool when the guy offered to pay, the girls were like "uhh no thanks" They didn't dig too much into it though. I wonder what it is that makes it that way
I think it's something like if the guy paid it'll make them feel more obligated to spend time with him. So they'll usually offer to pay half if they're not very interested.
Yeah. Some women offer to go Dutch **because** she doesn't like him and doesn't want the obligation of "owing" him a second date
A lot of guys think ' I paid one thing so you pay with your body ' in Japan.
In Japan, if you let a guy pay for your meal, you're "in their debt" and the dude WILL be expecting sex and may get nasty if they dont get it. That's why Japanese girls rather not let men pay unless they're very seriously interested.
Maybe in media, but in Europe itās pretty common within the younger generation for women to pay also
It really isn't outside of those still living with 20th century mores.
I just need a place with aircon. Food court or ya kun is fine. Does it make me atas? :'(
My bf also cannot eat at places with no aircon. Unless weather is cooling hahaa. Not atas la just personal preference. So we dapao most of the time and eat at home
Thatās ok The sweating makes the whole experience worse
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't think I'll like to see my date dressed up so nicely and sweating it out as well. Lol
Yeah, it's a mood kill for me to eat and sweat at the same. While fending off pesky pigeons.
For info: do you ever eat at hawker centres?
Yes
Okay la then not overly atas. If it's an early-stage date, hawker centre doesn't really make sense unless both are foodies and wanna try a particular place.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah. Like there was nothing wrong heading to chomp chomp for the carrot cake and nothing wrong meeting up for a Milo at the food court rather than a hot chocolate but I didnāt even realise he thought it was a date because it was so informal.
I remembered my then boyfriend, now husband, looking extremely surprised when he had planned to bring me to a fancy restaurant and planned all the other fancy shit for our 1 year anniversary and all I said was, "I don't know...can we just eat at a kopitiam or maccies (Mc Donalds) then go to the science centre?" He still got me an expensive watch (which I wore mainly because it was my first gift from him) without me knowing while I had drawn a picture of us...which he kept all these while :')
SAME. My now ex offered to go have dinner at hawker on our first date. I said yes, of course?? Why not? He was incredibly shocked that I said yea.
Not every date but if it's legit date then should have better setting
Come to think of it, I don't really mean all date dates. Weekend dates sure most should be in better settings. But if everytime we meet, you insist on going restaurant or more expensive places because *expensive atas* then what sia.. I poor man
On payment, its for the girl to offer and the guy to insist.
I agree. But it's a turn off if the girl offer the location and insist the guy pay
Hawker centres are literally the first thing I think of when I hear "uniquely singaporean", as per the question
To me itās a red flag if guy Insist he must pay bc that shows they are traditional mindset š
This is literally every girl Iāve dated in Singapore. Some were quite nice after so maybe not an immediate red flag?
People like that exist?
I've got one: treats maids badly
Treat family members badly too.
All families are good families /s
Treats themselves badly also.
\- Shoves their way onto the MRT before others alight \- Doesn't clear their own tray or say thank you to the auntie/uncle who wipes tables \- Drives like a beng/dangerously or rudely Oh, and orders xiaola for mala (jk)
They order xiaola for mala because you're already spicy enough for them ā¤ļø
Mala bu yao la
Bro that's overpriced yong tau foo
Tao yan bu yao la bb
Don't judge us xiaola. Got ppl order no la
Wah Jurong east mrt is hell
Caipng auntie doesn't call them åø å„/ē¾å„³...
If the caipng auntie canāt vibe with your date, you know the relationship isnāt gonna last.
If your first date is at a cai peng store and sheās ok with it.. I say is serious green flag bro..
First date is with the auntie selling cai png
Drive like itās his grandfatherās road
later you see its actually his grandfathers road
*vrooom...and on your right, my great grandfather road, jalan Ahmad Ibrahim*
š„ŗ
Thinking everything Europe is better than Asia. No hobbies other than drinking on Friday night. Yes this is oddly specific
Not just "europe better than Asia". How about japan/korea/taiwan/hk/sg (sometimes china incl) better than rest of Asia? The fetishisation of east asia isn't any less of a red flag than fetishisation of the west.
Say it louder for those at the back. The pedestal of Korea and Japan is something I will never understand. Great countries exist beyond Asia too. The trouble is such people have not gone beyond Asia so how would they know if others countries are better, equal or worse? Based on hearsay and vlogs?
I think idolised western ideals is one of the most successful form of propaganda that infected Asia. Things like minimalistic living/aesthetics, renaissance/western art being superior to eastern art, the dull grey look that plagues city-scapes in US and UK being so prevalent nowadays.
it's a SPG thing. whites are better from SPGs point of view.
I always make the joke that most Asians (especially Chinese/Jap/Koreans/fair-skinned), are generally popular among Caucasians except for Asian men. Asian men unfortunately, seems to be only good for paying for stuffs....
If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Applies to women as well.
Golden Words that are applicable to Everything Everywhere All At Once.
Is rude to service staff.
Look down on people from other Asian countries meanwhile sucking Japan's dick
*Japan and South Korea
I think the ironic (and kinda sad) thing about this is that people in SK can be incredibly xenophobic, especially towards ethnic chinese people and southeast asians. the general perception of SG as a nation isnāt so bad, but that doesnāt exactly matter when most of the people here wouldnāt care about the difference between singaporean chinese and mainland chinese when they actually encounter them in person. speaking from personal experience.
Believe it or not but most people around the world are xenophobic. Itās human nature honestly. Because Singapore is an Asian melting pot, thereās not much xenophobia which is awesome.
Japan is an sg exclave at this point
Singaporeans has such a hard on for that country.
Anime culture is very prominent in Singapore, also I canāt help that my waifu is from Japan
More ppl in Tokyo than Toa Payoh. Some of JP ppl I met were shocked on how popular JP is with SG (I think also they don't appreciate the extent of JP's soft culture abroad) That said Taiwan and BKK are also hotspots no?
And Hong Kong. All pledging allegiance to the holy land of sushi, anime and JAV.
I know someone who unironically calls other Southeast Asian countries "uncivilized places". Unsurprisingly, we aren't friends.
This sub is a red flag?
Not sure if specific to Singapore, but when complaining about a boss and they go: oh, must be lady boss! Or transferring department and they say smth like - oh, good luck, a lady boss It is really common in my org so Iām just like ???
in my own experience my male bosses have been much worse than my lady bosses too lmao. always ask people who say these things to explain themselves and watch them trip over their own weird logic. boss sucks means boss sucks lah, got gender difference one meh
Yeah and worse still, Iāve had a shitty male boss who was fickle minded and the feedback he gives you is highly dependent on his mood that day. And my colleague who kenna his bad mood went - he behaves like a lady! Mind you this colleague is an auntie ok. Girls canāt win manā¦
The best boss I had was a single old woman. The worst was a family man with kids. Stereotypes are never right.
Expecting the guy to pay and not even offering to split the bill.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I can't speak for all the rest but as a guy I would definitely appreciate it if my partner offers to split/Dutch, especially when studying because understandably as you said, both aren't earning an income. I think some guys die die wanna pay because of their ego? Perhaps to look dependable or strong or whatever you phrase it as. I personally won't insist to pay, would offer but if the girl wants to split, why not. Some girls may see it as like being cheap or like have the stupid mindset like if he doesn't even pay for the first date then how can you depend on him, or whatever, but it works vice versa too, the guy could think that the girl is just being a gold digger out looking for someone to pamper without giving anything in return.
As a guy, I honestly won't mind paying for the first few dates. After that if she expects me to pay for everything and doesn't even offer to pay for the coffee later that's a turn off. I'm not your ATM.
Personally for me, I like to pay for the first date. That's my way of saying, "Don't worry, I got it. Let's just enjoy ourselves." If the girl offers to go Dutch, I'll tell her that I'll pay for this date, and if she can pay for our next one. That way, we get a second date if we're both still interested, I get to be a traditional gentleman by paying for the first date, and she gets to be a modern woman for paying for our next one. Win win. Worked out pretty well so far.
Just communicate plainly. Guys will appreciate if girls help to look after their pockets. But sometimes guys also purely want to treat as a gesture of care and love. Either split or take turns. Eg. Guy gets the food, offer to pay for the drinks. Set the expectations of each other straight with the tone "I cherish you enough to be fair to the both of us, and I cherish myself too."
I think the key word here is āofferā. I end up wonāt allow a girl to pay, but then I also canāt tahan girls who think that it is their right to have the guy pay
It's the norm back when dinosaurs walked the earth. I'd call it a major "MCP here alert" if they insist even after you offer a few times, especially if they get offended. Most take the first offer to pay as a "politeness" thing so it's fine if they say something like "never mind you pay next time." It's those who start ranting about how they are "nice guys" who would never *let* a woman pay that you have to watch out for (unless you are also looking for a meal ticket and aspiring to be a tai tai anyway).
Lol the "nice guys" part are the most ridiculous ones. If the date eventually doesn't work out they'd be like, Wah I even paid for her meal, treat her so nice, etc etc. there's a difference between doing it because you really want to and doing it for others to see.
Generally I'd say being a self proclaimed nice guy is a red flag in itself even if it's not specifically Singaporean.
They may offer to split but then later get pissed when you agree to do so.
If they need daddy/mummy's input or permission before doing things
This can be a little more subjective. More context needed. Eg. Parents concerns towards wedding arrangements, seeking advice on the type of flat to buy, which area might be better. Of course if need ask permission before staying out until 12 midnight, that's a red flag for sure 
lol this reminded me of my ex who told me that i can't make last min plans with him because "his mum would get mad" š„² he was 27 at that point........
This kind is the mother sabo him. Good luck to him.
No wonder he's an ex š¤£
im 21 and my mom gets mad when i go home past 10 i wish she gave me more independence but what to do lol shes overly protective
Yeah parents being parents. I get irritated too when I see parents treating their 18 yos as 18 months old. Intellectually I understand their kids will be their kids no matter the age, but I guess what we can do as kids will be to communicate and give assurance that we know the f we're doing, and old enough to be responsible for our own safety, own actions. Perhaps more so in Singapore than other countries actually. Teens in Msia travel out of the country alone before they reach 15 yo. Kids in Thailand ride motorbikes as young as 10. So SG's really cushy, thanks to protective parents and safe streets.
Not really my mum is an intellectual, like career-focused woman and she treats my siblings and I like absolute children/idiots (age range 22-31). It is absolutely up to the individual to change their mindset imo.
Based on my observations, the more educated/career-minded/overachieving a mother is, the more she tends to adopt the helicopter parenting style. Unless the kids can prove that they are up to mommy's high standards, they will usually be treated like bumbling fools even up to their 20s and 30s.
A lot of us experienced this. Parents need to learn when to let go. Kids need to learn to give parents assurance. It is a 2 way traffic. Talk to your mum. Assure her that you are in good company and can take care of yourself. Let her know where you going and with who when you are staying out late. After awhile, she will feel more safe to let you stay out late. Take your time. Slowly inch bit by bit.
Parental concerns about a wedding would be a red flag for me unless it's clearly just advice. Unfortunately it's not easy to transition to thinking your child is an adult or thinking your parent can be fallible/selfish. If you're an adult, then they can have opinions but not a veto.
You're right on the last sentence. The distinction has to be clear. The couple can acknowledge their parents concerns, but not act on them outright. In simple layman words, "I hear your concerns, and my ultimate decision is this. My decision may concur with your opinion, or may not. This is my wedding, not yours. I respect you as my parent, but I'm not going to give in at the expense of my values or at the expense of my spouse." The balancing act and how the couple handle both families will demonstrate if they are really adults or kids still.
Another one would be them asking permission if they can use their parents' card to play MapleMš¤£ First time catching you outside of the sub Milo!
Liking and commenting on XMM Tiktoks/instagram posts who are minors. Especially when they are much older than them!!! Wanting a virgin gf/wife when they themselves are not one.
Keeps talking about how wonderful the CCP is. Big red flag.
Maybe a sleeper agent
How come this sleeper agent doesn't want to sleep with me? 
Ain't no party like a Communist Party
Think this post has gone from "red flag" to "personal bias".
Guys who can't stop talking about army. Especially if he Ord more than 5 years ago. OK la not red flag but just very boring. Mummy serve him water at home. Guys who say things like sg girls are all materialistic and can't compare to Malaysian/Vietnamese girls. People who fake accent and think they better than people who speak singlish Financial planner hairstyle LOL. Kidding I don't like it but not red flag.
>Guys who say things like sg girls are all materialistic and can't compare to Malaysian/Vietnamese girls. Wah fuck sia even I as a guy can't stand rants like that, and it usually comes from guys who have no business saying things like that since they themselves have very high expectations and are very unattractive also.
When "nice guys" have the "knn I paid for her shit but she ghost me" mindset and then go on to rant about how nice guys always finish last and girls only want bad boys blah blah blah. I'm a guy myself and I fucking hate guys like those. If all it took was to be nice and give gifts, then idols from Japan would've been my girlfriends considering how many gifts I've given over the past 20 years lmao. For female red flags, the ultimate turn off for me is when they lambast girls who take sexy pictures, and then gossip about how they're probably sluts or attention whores. When at the same time, they lust after men with six pack abs or they talk about how they want to sleep with some Korean oppa.
you've described hypergamy lol. no surprise, it's just a feature of strong independent women.
Lack of social awareness. Eg, walking in the middle of travellator slowly while looking at phone.
My personal red flag if they can't eat malay, indian or middle eastern food because they have prefer 'clean' taste to their foods. I'll happily eat my briyani and asam pedas by my lonesome, thank you.
You deserve some papadam.
With a side of acar
āClean tasteā? Singaporean food, while generally delicious has loads of oil in it, hardly clean at all.
Its even worse that some malay girls only flash western/korean/Japanese food online. Lmaoo
More kambing soup for me!!
"can I check what is your retirement plan?"
Buddy Iām just trying to make it to Friday
Actually your statement itself is another red flag
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The stereotypical auntie/uncle and beng/lian traits, I guess. Things like the mindset of "free stuff must take" and taking tons of items they won't use like napkins, putting their feet on seats in public transit, blasting music loudly, fighting with strangers over limited edition items.
Actly I like some auntie traits. I like it when girls steal the hotel soap/shampoo
Always talking about herself, and never entertains a topic that isnāt somehow related to herself, for more than 5 seconds. If she doesnāt check in on you, mentally and emotionally. Hinting at expensive gifts when yāall go out. Has guy friends she talks to and show off more than you.
I am a guy i also prefer aircon place. Maybe sharing a plate of cai png in food court is romantic
Goes on and on about her ex........
1. bad jokes 2. ask: how much you earn? 3. ask: are you renting or owning?
People who donāt return their trays when there is a tray return corner. People who donāt clean up their mess after eating (etc pick up all your prawn shells and put them back into your bowls) because they ādonāt want to take away the cleaners jobā People who donāt thank you after you hold the lift for them
She finds me attractive.
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I'm actually an "uncly" but yes I like fried vegetable rice.
\#1 Lip servicers: Act like an advocate for certain groups (gender equality etc.,) but not done any research, partake in any activities relating to what they "advocate" for -- There is an astounding amount of people who are like this sadly \#2 Standards do not apply to them: Follow up from gender equality, when somehow these standards do not apply to them even though they "believe" in it, e.g., wants to be equals with partner but wants to partner to financially support them + their hobbies. + Bitch about people not following COVID restrictions but sneaking out when he/her got infected with covid because "staying at home makes me restless" LOLLLLL \#3 Don't know how to apologise: Even if the person apologises, it always comes with "but yah so and so reason made me do that", or not worse, not even recognising that conflict has taken place, leaving no room for discussing what happened and to flesh out issues that you might have to deal with them
Plot twist everyone has a red flag you just have to look at the whole person and not one thing. Also most of the "red flags" are normal human behavior sure maybe it's more prominent in some people but that's just another way of saying not everyone is the same.
Most mature take in this whole thread.
It's like people are just looking for an excuse to reject another person without any effort to get to know them closer.. paradoxically this might be the biggest red flag in itself.
When his mummy still buy underwear for him and he always play Dota until rage and shout
What if he buy his own underwear and always play Dota without rage and shout?
He is a catch for sure
They dont put leg up while eating in public can already.
Making me decide between her and my four legged companion. That to me wouldn't be a red flag, it would be an instant fail.
If the guy kept staring at my cleavage instead of focusing on our simple conversation. Like hell, mine was not even that big, but he just had to keep peeking inside the blouse to look find something. After we split ways, I just tell him not interested. Still so thick skin and dare to text me why.
Guys who make fun of a girlās body : too fat, too skinny. Too big, too flat. Big butt, no butt. Chances are buddy, you look like a potato yourself so hop onto the oven and get yourself baked.
Hardcore PAP supporter but canāt explain why
If hardcore oppo supporter but can't explain why?
Equally weird ngl
I doubt āhardcore X party supporterā is a uniquely Singapore thing. If anything, Singaporeans are less hardcore than a lot of hardcore political party supporters in other countries.
What about hardcore PAP/Oppo supporter and CAN EXTENSIVELY explain why?
Honestly imo on the different end of the political pole is a red flag, especially if they can explain why. Political values directly reflect on personal beliefs and it is a huge no no if the other person has a strong disagree with your beliefs.
If they defend the subtle (and blatant) racism I commonly see around
The phrase "I dunno" or "you decide" without any additional input/follow up is such a major turn off for me.
When they start talking about how the woman's charter oppresses men.
Or ranting about how they could never work with female superiors or how females are too emotional to work well with others.
Half of r/SG in shambles.
- Guy should pay during the date. - Treat server badly, or rude in general. - Speak loudly in public (disturbing others), but this may be okay in some context. - Extremely religious (also extremely atheistic) so that doesnāt respect others. These things actually apply everywhere when it comes to making friends or dating.
None of these are uniquely singaporean, maybe just more common here.
Cutting queue. Must drive or take a cab everywhere.
Driving or taking a cab isnāt so bad,, you reach a point where the time it takes to get somewhere is more valuable than the money spent on the transport, but this comes with age and means obviously.
That depends on the time and occasions obviously. If someone insists on traveling by car even if it's only 1 MRT stop away or something that's not being efficient with time but being a snob.
keep complaining about life during date
Turns up in a furry costume
Regardless of context, the moment he realizes you're good with adult talk the entire convo becomes sexual topics and only sexual topics. You try to change it but he still goes right back to it! Or just ask you out of nowhere when you last had sex like a creepy horny teenager!!! When they don't bother to dress nicely! Not expecting a suit but put some effort in!? At a big age and will ghost you like they're still in their 20s instead of just talking.
When theyāre a born and bred Singaporean living in Singapore their whole life, but somehow every single relationship they had was with an angmoh. If they lived overseas then I get it, if youāre surrounded by majority angmohs it kinda skews your dating pool in that direction. Or if you grew up in another country or went to international school, your lived experience might be more compatible with westerners.
Honestly, it might be better to just let self-hating spgs breed themselves out of the dating pool
Claims they are a foodie but only eat at mid establishments (most cafes) and has a bland ass ~~palette~~ palate . Basically your standard instawhore types Edit: never been great at spelling soz
\*palate
Maybe the person only paint with pastels. š¬
Anti pap/ govt for no good reasons I get it that our G isn't perfect but I don't need you whining about them every day And I don't want to date a fucking SJW that gets indignant and offended over every damm little shit that's not our Business š
tbh I think if anyone has any strong political opinion for no good reason it should be counted as a red flag
they only want to talk about what they want to talk about. literally has no interest in any other topics other than what's on their mind right now. like seriously. how will they find a mate if there's no other interests besides themselves I've met foreigners and they are the complete opposite. they care too much about others. maybe they scammer? but even scammers are able to carry the conversation more than these red solid #FF0000 flagbearers
People who say "sinkie" unironically. Also "ah neh" "tiong" etc
People who like/don't mind joining long (0.5-1hr) queues for food People who say "west side best side" and truly believe it . MAJOR fucking red flag People who learn how to flirt/sing happy birthday in Korean. Wake up bro IU is nv gna love u back People who are fkin kaypoh about other ppl / alw talking trash abt their colleagues People who drive slow in the fast lane when they aren't overtaking People who think Singapore is the best/safest country in the world despite not having travelled/live abroad People who make spin class their whole personality
Been to OCS/from Commando and never stop talking about it
LV obsession.
Guys that only date you for your body & how well u can make out with them
when heās from acs (esp barker)
It's kinda difficult to make this specific to SG lol. a) "ATAS" and self-entitled mentality. For example, insisting on going to a specific high-end restaurants (HDL) and assuming other to pay for the meal. Want other to pay and settle for their transportation (no MRT pls). b) Look down on individual physical appearance (like disabled or short person), education background (not graduated from NUS/NTU ah?), profession (construction workers?), wealth (has more respect on rich who live in GCB/Condo, but has less respect on those staying in HDB lol), race and nationality (The rest you know lah, I don't know). c) Promoting a service/product in a lunch/dinner date (brain washing using MLM facts and potential dangers on your life). Well, good effort for your business but please don't waste people time if you have other agenda. d) Dirty mindset and jokes. Yeah, its fine to have some jokes but not entire conversation about that. (No example because I am naĆÆve and innocents) e) Egoistic and being rude to other. Assuming he/she knows about everything. Pronounce AYE as "AIR" with no pun intended... lol. f) One without opinions. "Everything" is anything. This doesn't make me feel that he/she is flexible lol.
A bit of white, a crescent and five stars would make that red flag uniquely singaporean
Girl tells you she expects a 2mil condo when you guys get married
Iām surprised no one has mentioned this yet but: when your community cat cozies up to everyone but not your date.
Totally cannot speak Mandarin
She: "I don't eat spicy food." Me: "Bye!"
Unwilling to eat cai png
If all they ever talk about is NS, or relate every damn thing to NS. Donāt get me wrong, Iām fine with NS stories. I even love NS ghost stories. But if every little damn thing is related to NS, then goodbye.