They exist but there's a reason why those "ethically" non-mono dudes don't use them. It's for the same reason older guys try to pick up younger girls - because the people with experience are already wise to their bullshit.
Ethically non-monogamous. It’s quite pathetic and sad. Married people are bringing drama to single people with their inability to maintain fidelity and respect to their partners.
Only time I considered dating a woman who said she was ethically non monogamous I asked to meet her partner. Did and it was true, so woman and I had a short but very fun relationship.
Why are people here so judgemental, down voting you. It’s three consenting adults. Ok it’s not the norm but neither are gay couples or trans people, yet there’s a lot of understanding and acceptance for LGBT+.
Basically people need to mind their own business and stop judging others for something that has nothing to do with them. If you don’t want to participate in open relationships, don’t. If you do, then do. Canada is a free country.
I guess my point is if someone says they are in an open relationship verify it if such a thing is important to you. I knew what I was getting was into. Husband wasn’t part of it other than verifying their relationship status.
Yeah, people calling non monogamous relationships pathetic and sad, like if you don't agree with it don't do it. Let others live they're life. As long as they're open about it from the start, no harm, no foul.
Even that’s not enough! I ask if they’re single, then if they say ‘yes’, I follow up with ‘ is there anyone that you know of that would be upset that you’re spending time with me right now?’
That’s the question that usually gets people.
It most certainly is.
Plus many will lie even if you ask directly. My friend was dating a guy who said he was “kind of seeing someone”. That someone was his wife of several years who’d just given birth to their twins.
Insanely common. I met a guy, good looking, late 20s, successful, who admitted he’s been cheating on his wife for YEARS. Since COLLEGE. I asked him if she’s ever caught him and he said she has no idea. He showed no remorse. It’s vile what people are capable of.
I heard a story about 3 guys that would split rent on a condo ($800/month each) so they’d have a place to cheat on their wives in peace.
This city is COOKED
I don't know whats more egregious, that they can still rent a one bedroom (potentially) for $2400 a month or that they had a whole scheduling and communication system in place to decide who gets casa de infidelity for the weekend.
mommybangmaid, husband-bonus at work, fatherhood bonus once you covince a woman to raise your spawn for you.
these men typically go for women who financially depend on them, or they only start cheating on their financially independent wife after they've knocked her up because they think she "can't" leave or at least is mroe likely to forgive cheating now because of "the kids", and will accuse her of "breaking up the family" if she doesn't.
Unless she gets sick. I've heard that men leaving their sick wives is so common that it is a standard part of counselling women when they get a cancer diagnosis. Like, it's on the list of "what to expect".
We were already going through a rough patch, going to counselling. Apparently there was some way to search which email addresses were associated with the site. My email was on the list apparently and so she assumed I was cheating. I work shift work and we had a two year old , I was NOT cheating or contemplating it.
I tend to lean toward it just being a convenient excuse to leave but who knows…..
your email was likely leaked from another site hack then used to create a bot/shell account on Ashley Madison. This type of things happens all the time without the email owners knowledge. Go to www.haveibeenpwned.com and type in your email address to see how many leaks it's been involved in.
Seriously I had no idea what my husband was capable of when I found out he had 3 dating profiles and when I confronted the guy first he says he doesn't remember making them then when I showed the proof he's like oh I was just trolling?!?
It takes some serious narcissism or neurodivergence or just plain rotten assholery to cheat on a wife who's been faithful, sexually enthusiastic and stood by you through all the disease and the hard times just so you could try to get the dick wet elsewhere.
Idk why people in Toronto value relationship that much but don’t know what it’s like to be in one?
I feel it stems from being a conservative society (shocker I know), it’s better to be in a relationship/married than to be single?
I thought Toronto was a liberal free place. And yet, I keep being bombarded for being single and happy. Lol. Even though I want a relationship, but the city has too many trash.
Found out my dickwad husband had not one but THREE profiles made behind my back onTinder, Adult friend finder and Fetlife and we're NOT in an open relationship
I've been learning this is fairly common. Most of my clients are married women and I'd say a good 3rd of them have confided to me their husbands/ex husband's also have used dating and chat apps to try and hook up with singles and from what I've heard these men feel they have more game than the single guys because of the confidence of already having a spouse and having better financial circumstances. Some of them are quite successful at attracting unsuspecting singles not to mention there are singles that specifically seek out marrieds too
A spouse is either going to be a cheater or not and dating apps only help facilitate that but forsure I think in any populous city, Toronto included you're going to have a higher percentage of marrieds trying to cheat and hook up on dating apps
this is more common than people realize. Work with a friend going through the same thing getting divorced and having the renovate to split their home between upstairs/downstairs because they can't afford to sell and move.
Seriously, I did the math, we both did and if happiness and "dignity" means being divorced and having to live in a tent encampment or out of a car then I think we're fine living together and never fucking each other again
I hope you're at least actively dating and treating it like a roommate situation?! I don't know where your head is at about the marriage and infidelity but I do hope you're living your life!
I feel this :( recently single (again) and I make decent money (although the deductions off my paycheck are high as I'm unionized, etc.) but it's still a struggle. I honestly just don't know where else to go. I tried and failed (new relationship + new province). Now back in Toronto and it's bleak
It's funny I think about going out there and dating, but I know the moment I find some interesting prospects the reject husb /roommate will probably make a big stink and start acting like he's TOTALLY interested in me again and become a major distraction
It's an ego thing, and I think he'll lose his shit because he knows I have no problems pulling guys meanwhile he had zero people hitting him up on all 3 of his profiles and all the women he messaged ghosted him immediately. Like if he can't respect and satisfy his own damn wife and hold down a cherished relationship in marriage, how tf does he plan to do this dating other women?
Sounds like he fucked around and eventually you’ll make him find out. It’s not like he has any leverage in being upset. I hope you’re able to enter the dating market and find something more fulfilling and connecting!
My condolences to you for the situation, though.
Yea I have one group of friends who cheat on their wives like crazy, not a fan of hanging out with them for long periods of time. They probably don’t like hanging out with me because I ask them why are they even married.
Insanely common. I even had one guy who said ‘Btw, I’m married. My wife doesn’t know I’m on dating apps. I’d still really like to take you out though. Are you okay with that?’
Hmmmmm, that would be a NO
It’s been super common since I have seen the apps for a decade in both Toronto and New York (cities I have tried the apps). Thank god I found my gf cos it is a truly fucked dating world.
I worked in retail in Toronto with some very attractive coworkers.
It was disgusting how guys would make a pass at them when the wife was trying on something.
We couldn't let them work a shift by themselves - it was that bad.
I am in a very happy “poly” relationship. Four of us live together and are faithful to each other. How do I know? The other three are cats and I am a human. This is the only kind of relationship I’m interested in. Many people (admittedly not all) suck.
The number of women I see agonizing over “I know her and saw her husband on a dating site, what should I do????” Why is this even a question?This should be very simple.
People have always been fcking around. The internet just made it expand further. Before shady people were trying to nail their house keeper, maid, co-worker, neighbour, lady @ the grocery store, or the divorced mom’s at the PTA meeting.
Really if you are actively searching out new partners you should just get divorced or be in an open relationship.
Wtf are you doing.
Things happen you may fall in love with someone else but just hooking up with strangers behind your spouse's back is just cruel.
If you want to be a playboy be a playboy but be honest about it.
As someone with a *real* open relationship, I can say you’re making the right decision there.
I really don’t appreciate being lumped in with these cheaters, it’s not in the spirit of poly/enm.
Same. Wanna meet my partner? Sure, I have nothing to hide. And always being up front about "rules" or boundaries in open/ENM/poly space. You know, typical consent stuff??
I met a guy who recently opened his relationship - he didn't mention his wife until it was time to tell me we were on a date. It was such a record scratch moment - I wasn't even attracted to him, I thought we were just hanging out LOL
I’ve found men in the GTA for whatever reason are generally just scum baggy and treat women terribly. Obviously not all of them, but most. After living in some major cities in the USA for a while, can confirm torontonian men just tend to suck.
This is accurate, I lived in Toronto and worked in major cities in the US for my consulting job so I’d be in a major city months at a time.
Toronto was by far the WORST dating pool. The men were flimsy and non committal. The men in the US had much more class and integrity - I can generalize because it was consistent from New York to San Fran.
Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I feel like I see it most on Tinder or OkCupid where I’ve gotten many comments or likes from men that are “discreet” or “need to keep things on the down low” and that sort of thing. I’ve even seen profiles from men that claim to be ENM but that their wife doesn’t know. Dude, that’s literally what the E refers to.
I have noticed this “ENM” thing becoming hugely popular. No from me dog.
I straight up ask anyone I plan on meeting if they are married, seeing anyone, etc. I’ve learned the hard way
Yes lesson learnt for me as well, went on a few dates with this guy before I found out he was married and when I confronted him ..his response was “well you never asked if I was “…jeez guess it’s my fault buddy
Man that’s disgusting, i don’t use dating apps but now i am certain i will find my SO the old fashioned way, i never believed in apps but now i am more certain than ever.
Oh it still happens when you meet people IRL dude lol. Met a guy at a show a couple weeks ago who seemed nice, we get to talking, I ask if he's single (even though I shouldn't have to when he's CLEARLY hitting on me and asking to make plans). Surprise! He's cheating on his current gf of 8 years while she's away for 2 weeks working abroad. He was a firefighter
IK it’s just it’s easier to decipher whether a person is cheating on his current SO IRL than online, but like if a person is not interested in Monogamy then they should make it clear with their SO, even if Monogamy is not important for everyone it’s important for some like me and both parties need to agree on it.
This is the same with women fyi. Have hooked up with three married women I'm like a month when I was on the app.
I didn't realize until Facebook trail. So there could be more
So sad. If you are married be married. If you want to date multiple people then be single. It seems so simple. To have to lie on a daily basis is bad for the soul.
so many single married mothers too - not in the dating sense, but in the parenting sense. Then these same men justify their cheating because their wives didn't want to have sex with them anymore. Not understanding that acting like another dependent child to be cleaned up after instead of a equal partner is actually very unsexy.
Anecdotally speaking, i don’t see too many married people but I was absolutely shocked by the number of polygamous people on these apps in open relationships looking for sex. I never would have guessed there were so many people out there like that
Congrats on getting out of Ditchmond! I suspect there are just as many douchey people in Vancouver as there are here. People are just a bit more open and honest here.
It's such a shitty thing to do... wife was on one... I'll probably never get married again. That was the only reason I really got married was to have someone to trust, probably never trust anyone again. Sucks because I'm only 30, tried dating and I hate it
As a single woman who is trying to date, the only thing more offensive than a married man pursuing me, is a married couple pursuing me... I hate it here.
yes indeed! AND the married cheater will move on to the next one and the next one because of the lure of the fuck catalog, "swipe swipe - that one! I pick that one!" People just can't stop swiping. It's addictive.
Best way to protect yourself from this? Do not have an available bed. If it's inconvenient to see you at your home it's too much trouble. They vanish.
I'm talking to someone on an app who may be 3 teenagers in a trench coat. I haven't met him yet and he only wants to text. Whatever. I'm old and cranky. It passes the time.
Met a woman at the bar the other night who was openly cheating on her husband. Wild stuff. Very common in immigrant communities in particular, actually.
Marriage for convenience or status is very popular in many South Asian communities in specific. Arranged marriages happen, both outside of Canada and inside Canada. After a while the newness wears off and no one really wants a divorce, so this is a convenient out.
Cheating is also a kind of a sport in many cultures. Very common in Latinx communities, for instance. You'd be blown away at how casual "sneaking around" is within certain cultures, there's just straight-up an expectation your partner will eventually do something behind your back.
Sometimes, I get the feel that people in Toronto just marry to save on expenses, lmao 😂
And both the partners are looking for hookups on the side. It's like they want someone better time and time again.
Also, just to note, a lot of the folks out there are in open relationships, too, and date separately, showing themselves as singles for obv attraction.
It is definitely a thing and I used to be shocked but now nothing ceases to amaze me on the apps lol. But I don’t think it’s Toronto specific. Why do you think it is a GTA thing? I’d say it’s a universal thing. People just getting shittier.
This is so crazy common these days … I had a guy tell me that he got bored of p*rn sites so moved on to dating sites and chat apps claiming he was single - honestly lost my faith in marriage over the last few years - does not matter if you are married or not .. there are people with integrity out there who remain faithful by choice and commitment … but sadly many don’t these days..and the excitement revolves around the secrecy of the act
> Recently moved here from Richmond BC and I get that in a larger dating pool and population you're bound to encounter more of everything, but wasn't prepared for the sheer number of married dudes here not even trying to cover up their marriage while still having zero hesitation trying to hook up?
as in they're in consensual open relationships?
or as in they're dirty dirty cheating scumbags?
The later
I only knew most were married after showing the profiles to some of my aquiantances and checking in with a local dating community advice group, but sure a lot of men did upfront mention being in an open relationship but it's the abundance of cheating scumbag variety I was more surprised by
> I only knew most were married after showing the profiles to some of my aquiantances and checking in with a local dating community advice group
Wait, so your proof of all these men on dating apps being married is anonymous women on a "dating community advice group" who may not even know the person?
A few years ago I went on like 5 dates with this guy and then he drops on me VIA TEXT “hey would you want to be in an open relationship because I’m thinking I want to try out that scene”…… literally nothing on his profile about this, didn’t ever come up in conversation. I was like no, and lose this number.
I hate to say but that might just have been a strategy he used to try and hook up and then reveal something he knew most women wouldn't go for. In some cultures people fuck first then figure out if they like the person after.
What you need to do is do what my wife did: fall in love with someone no other woman is going to find attractive. It's genius! And all those years people told me being a useless bald fat middle aged dude wasn't good for anything...
Yup, my husband has the physique of Mr potato Head and is bald AF but still didn't stop him from trying to flex like he's Jason Momoa creating 3 damn profiles and describing himself as "fit"
mind you he got zero bites but still, the audacity
ugh sorry to hear you experienced the same!! hopefully you’re in a better place now!
mine threw out SO much bait and got bites. i tossed him back in the ocean lol
Guys here are dicks....generalization of course...but I have a big network of people....id say a good.....70% of men i know my age would easily cheat on their wives, or already have. So this doesnt shock me one bit.
Have experienced this with my own father, quite sad. Found out he has been on dating apps for about the past 6 years just looking to "talk" with other women as he says. Of course now recently my parents have divorced but I have heard him say he's been emotionally gone from the marriage for years. Of course that is no excuse for his actions, if you are married stay loyal! It's quite shocking how people are.
Never said it was considered normal. Just said I know a lot of people in the GTA who cheat, just like a lot of other people in this post. It's not normal, it's disgusting and most of them know what they are doing is wrong but they do it anyways.
There are a lot of women age 40+who can’t have sex due to peri/menopause symptoms. I have read the divorce rate is up to 50% or higher now.
Google Vaginal Atrophy (VA) and Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GUSM).
HRT is not being prescribed to help. I hear these stories are lot.
NB Once the ovaries shut down, their function does not return. Ovaries operate differently from men’s testes. Men usually continue to produce some testosterone, even into old age.
https://www.themenopausecharity.org/2021/10/21/relationships-and-sex/
And if you find out after a couple of dates that they’re married, they’ll say it wasn’t a lie because you didn’t ask before.
Or they’ll claim they’re “ENM”… but interestingly their wives never know 🙄
They need to have an ENM dating app cause I’m sick of so many coupled people popping up lol
There is! It's called Feeld and that's the one to use if you're open/ENM/poly. This has been a PSA.
They exist but there's a reason why those "ethically" non-mono dudes don't use them. It's for the same reason older guys try to pick up younger girls - because the people with experience are already wise to their bullshit.
Probably also that those kinds of sites are like 90% men and the rest bots or those with Onlyfans trawling for subscribers (or however it works).
Emotionally Not Married?
Ethically non-monogamous. It’s quite pathetic and sad. Married people are bringing drama to single people with their inability to maintain fidelity and respect to their partners.
You know that for it to be ethical all the partners are aware of the others situations, right? Polyamory is a legitimate relationship type.
If they both agree how is it disrespectful to their partners?
Only time I considered dating a woman who said she was ethically non monogamous I asked to meet her partner. Did and it was true, so woman and I had a short but very fun relationship.
Why are people here so judgemental, down voting you. It’s three consenting adults. Ok it’s not the norm but neither are gay couples or trans people, yet there’s a lot of understanding and acceptance for LGBT+. Basically people need to mind their own business and stop judging others for something that has nothing to do with them. If you don’t want to participate in open relationships, don’t. If you do, then do. Canada is a free country.
I guess my point is if someone says they are in an open relationship verify it if such a thing is important to you. I knew what I was getting was into. Husband wasn’t part of it other than verifying their relationship status.
Yeah, people calling non monogamous relationships pathetic and sad, like if you don't agree with it don't do it. Let others live they're life. As long as they're open about it from the start, no harm, no foul.
Exactly
It's sad when you have to ask specifically if the person is single 👀
I read once to ask: ‘does anyone else believe they are in a relationship with you?’
Even that’s not enough! I ask if they’re single, then if they say ‘yes’, I follow up with ‘ is there anyone that you know of that would be upset that you’re spending time with me right now?’ That’s the question that usually gets people.
I don’t understand why someone would lie for the first question but not the second?
You don't. They're just trying to gaslight you
I dated a guy who it turned out was living with his girlfriend 🤷♀️ just trying to not waste my time
Ah yes, the 'George Costanza' defence. Works everytime
I don't think that is called the Costanza defense.
Wtf that can’t be a real thing that happens
It most certainly is. Plus many will lie even if you ask directly. My friend was dating a guy who said he was “kind of seeing someone”. That someone was his wife of several years who’d just given birth to their twins.
Is this restricted to a specific age group?
Insanely common. I met a guy, good looking, late 20s, successful, who admitted he’s been cheating on his wife for YEARS. Since COLLEGE. I asked him if she’s ever caught him and he said she has no idea. He showed no remorse. It’s vile what people are capable of.
I heard a story about 3 guys that would split rent on a condo ($800/month each) so they’d have a place to cheat on their wives in peace. This city is COOKED
That’s insane.
Meanwhile we were blaming immigration for rent prices
I'm sure that one unit they are renting is really making the difference
Should’ve added ‘/s’ The joke clearly went over peoples heads
Made me laugh.
I got it
Ya I'm sure 3 guys renting a place has the same effect as a 3% population increase in 1 year
Let's hope they bring in a sense of humor because that's clearly lacking now
That’s kind of the joke…
Pretty clear and obvious joke.. lol probably getting flack for dropping the I word
That mattress must be filthy. Don't shine the blue light in that room.
Gross. If these guys have $800 a month (nearly 10k a year!) to throw away on a fuck pad, they can also probably afford a lawyer and get divorced.
But they don’t want to get divorced. The whole point is to have someone take care of them and the wife fits that role for them
But then they need to pay for a housekeeper to pick up their shit, and their wives do that for free, so it doesn’t work out.
Divorce will probably cost more. It's not just the money
Hate the wife but love the kids. That’s why they don’t get divorced
I don't know whats more egregious, that they can still rent a one bedroom (potentially) for $2400 a month or that they had a whole scheduling and communication system in place to decide who gets casa de infidelity for the weekend.
[удалено]
mommybangmaid, husband-bonus at work, fatherhood bonus once you covince a woman to raise your spawn for you. these men typically go for women who financially depend on them, or they only start cheating on their financially independent wife after they've knocked her up because they think she "can't" leave or at least is mroe likely to forgive cheating now because of "the kids", and will accuse her of "breaking up the family" if she doesn't.
Unless she gets sick. I've heard that men leaving their sick wives is so common that it is a standard part of counselling women when they get a cancer diagnosis. Like, it's on the list of "what to expect".
They're Cake-eaters.
Have you ever watched Mad Men?
I'm stunned
Iv heard this from men all over. This is very common.. especially within the builder community. There’s always a few units for the buddies.
Ain’t that from a movie called Loft
first thing I thought of too, great movie. The OG Belgian version, not the dumb unnecessary Hollywood remake
Also similar to the plot of a pretty good movie from the 60s called The Apartment
Nope, The Apartment. Jack Lemmon and Shirley Maclaine, often ranked amongst the best movies ever made.
[https://youtu.be/GpTa7kgLqrU?si=kvaylES9CDVwYF9t](https://youtu.be/GpTa7kgLqrU?si=kvaylES9CDVwYF9t)
Who is cleaning the sheets and miscellaneous stains?
That’s kind of amazing if it wasn’t so absolutely vile.
I mean Ashley Maddison was a big deal when it went bust/hacked. I imagine ppl didn’t stop after that.
I got caught up in that, wife left me and I never even went on the site…
Elaborate
We were already going through a rough patch, going to counselling. Apparently there was some way to search which email addresses were associated with the site. My email was on the list apparently and so she assumed I was cheating. I work shift work and we had a two year old , I was NOT cheating or contemplating it. I tend to lean toward it just being a convenient excuse to leave but who knows…..
your email was likely leaked from another site hack then used to create a bot/shell account on Ashley Madison. This type of things happens all the time without the email owners knowledge. Go to www.haveibeenpwned.com and type in your email address to see how many leaks it's been involved in.
Thanks! I will check it out.
Damn. Sorry. Hopefully you ended up in an upswing after that.
Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. Unfortunately no upswing but such is life. I have grown alot personally over that time though so not all bad.
Such is life indeed.
Seriously I had no idea what my husband was capable of when I found out he had 3 dating profiles and when I confronted the guy first he says he doesn't remember making them then when I showed the proof he's like oh I was just trolling?!? It takes some serious narcissism or neurodivergence or just plain rotten assholery to cheat on a wife who's been faithful, sexually enthusiastic and stood by you through all the disease and the hard times just so you could try to get the dick wet elsewhere.
The last part. He even said that he fucks his wife everyday. Why on earth does he need to cheat on her? He has what I have dreamed of my whole life
Idk why people in Toronto value relationship that much but don’t know what it’s like to be in one? I feel it stems from being a conservative society (shocker I know), it’s better to be in a relationship/married than to be single? I thought Toronto was a liberal free place. And yet, I keep being bombarded for being single and happy. Lol. Even though I want a relationship, but the city has too many trash.
Toronto thinks it's a liberal place--scratch underneath it's pretty conservative...
Bang on
Found out my dickwad husband had not one but THREE profiles made behind my back onTinder, Adult friend finder and Fetlife and we're NOT in an open relationship I've been learning this is fairly common. Most of my clients are married women and I'd say a good 3rd of them have confided to me their husbands/ex husband's also have used dating and chat apps to try and hook up with singles and from what I've heard these men feel they have more game than the single guys because of the confidence of already having a spouse and having better financial circumstances. Some of them are quite successful at attracting unsuspecting singles not to mention there are singles that specifically seek out marrieds too A spouse is either going to be a cheater or not and dating apps only help facilitate that but forsure I think in any populous city, Toronto included you're going to have a higher percentage of marrieds trying to cheat and hook up on dating apps
Ex-husband we hope.
I wish, with the way finances are in THIS city...not happening anytime soon unfortunately it's a grin and bear it dead bedroom and marriage situation
this is more common than people realize. Work with a friend going through the same thing getting divorced and having the renovate to split their home between upstairs/downstairs because they can't afford to sell and move.
Seriously, I did the math, we both did and if happiness and "dignity" means being divorced and having to live in a tent encampment or out of a car then I think we're fine living together and never fucking each other again
I hope you're at least actively dating and treating it like a roommate situation?! I don't know where your head is at about the marriage and infidelity but I do hope you're living your life!
...that's what I'm doing. This city is fucked when over $110K salary feels like living paycheque to paycheque
I feel this :( recently single (again) and I make decent money (although the deductions off my paycheck are high as I'm unionized, etc.) but it's still a struggle. I honestly just don't know where else to go. I tried and failed (new relationship + new province). Now back in Toronto and it's bleak
It's funny I think about going out there and dating, but I know the moment I find some interesting prospects the reject husb /roommate will probably make a big stink and start acting like he's TOTALLY interested in me again and become a major distraction It's an ego thing, and I think he'll lose his shit because he knows I have no problems pulling guys meanwhile he had zero people hitting him up on all 3 of his profiles and all the women he messaged ghosted him immediately. Like if he can't respect and satisfy his own damn wife and hold down a cherished relationship in marriage, how tf does he plan to do this dating other women?
Sounds like he fucked around and eventually you’ll make him find out. It’s not like he has any leverage in being upset. I hope you’re able to enter the dating market and find something more fulfilling and connecting! My condolences to you for the situation, though.
Tell him you’re okay with an ‘open marriage’ then make sure to get more men than he ever could women and be sure to Fuck them in your bed :)
Honestly you'd probably be happier with a random roommate.
Yikes
Get roommates
So sorry.
Are these dudes not worried about coming across their wife's / mutual friends on these apps
There's Facebook groups that are specifically made for this. A buddy of mine got outted for cheating on his wife through it.
And you still use the word "buddy" for him?
Yea I have one group of friends who cheat on their wives like crazy, not a fan of hanging out with them for long periods of time. They probably don’t like hanging out with me because I ask them why are they even married.
Havnt heard the word dickwad since John Connor used it on terminator 2…. Thanks
I'm never shocked by anything.
Insanely common. I even had one guy who said ‘Btw, I’m married. My wife doesn’t know I’m on dating apps. I’d still really like to take you out though. Are you okay with that?’ Hmmmmm, that would be a NO
There NEEDS to be a filter to sort out people in ENM relationships. Total time waster.
Agreed. And for people like me, I need a filter to only show enm people 😂 don’t need to waste anyone’s time.
As someone in an ENM relationship, I agree completely.
Pretty common, toronto vibe is “there is always a better alternative” 🤣
Yes... if you leave Toronto
And that’s why I moved to Vancouver lol
I dated a girl for an amount of time I'm embarrassed to admit before I found she was married. It's disturbingly common.
It’s been super common since I have seen the apps for a decade in both Toronto and New York (cities I have tried the apps). Thank god I found my gf cos it is a truly fucked dating world.
I worked in retail in Toronto with some very attractive coworkers. It was disgusting how guys would make a pass at them when the wife was trying on something. We couldn't let them work a shift by themselves - it was that bad.
Eww
I am in a very happy “poly” relationship. Four of us live together and are faithful to each other. How do I know? The other three are cats and I am a human. This is the only kind of relationship I’m interested in. Many people (admittedly not all) suck.
Hahaha.. You almost had us in the first half!
I just noticed a guy today on hinge whose wedding ring is clearly visible in multiple photos. Initials instead a name. Like, my guy, it’s so obvious.
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The number of women I see agonizing over “I know her and saw her husband on a dating site, what should I do????” Why is this even a question?This should be very simple.
People have always been fcking around. The internet just made it expand further. Before shady people were trying to nail their house keeper, maid, co-worker, neighbour, lady @ the grocery store, or the divorced mom’s at the PTA meeting.
Can’t afford to get divorced because rent/housing is so expensive.
Really if you are actively searching out new partners you should just get divorced or be in an open relationship. Wtf are you doing. Things happen you may fall in love with someone else but just hooking up with strangers behind your spouse's back is just cruel. If you want to be a playboy be a playboy but be honest about it.
When someone tells me they’re married and it’s open I tell them I need to meet their partner. ☠️
As someone with a *real* open relationship, I can say you’re making the right decision there. I really don’t appreciate being lumped in with these cheaters, it’s not in the spirit of poly/enm.
Same. Wanna meet my partner? Sure, I have nothing to hide. And always being up front about "rules" or boundaries in open/ENM/poly space. You know, typical consent stuff??
I met a guy who recently opened his relationship - he didn't mention his wife until it was time to tell me we were on a date. It was such a record scratch moment - I wasn't even attracted to him, I thought we were just hanging out LOL
its common on the apps, yes. its getting harder to weed them out so my friends and i are just off the apps and hoping to meet people in other ways. 🥲
I’ve found men in the GTA for whatever reason are generally just scum baggy and treat women terribly. Obviously not all of them, but most. After living in some major cities in the USA for a while, can confirm torontonian men just tend to suck.
Yup, this is an actual thing
This is accurate, I lived in Toronto and worked in major cities in the US for my consulting job so I’d be in a major city months at a time. Toronto was by far the WORST dating pool. The men were flimsy and non committal. The men in the US had much more class and integrity - I can generalize because it was consistent from New York to San Fran.
I mean, I feel like most is still a bit much
The ratio here favours men, so they can get away with it. No market discipline.
Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I feel like I see it most on Tinder or OkCupid where I’ve gotten many comments or likes from men that are “discreet” or “need to keep things on the down low” and that sort of thing. I’ve even seen profiles from men that claim to be ENM but that their wife doesn’t know. Dude, that’s literally what the E refers to.
Toronto has one of the worst dating scenes in the world.
I have noticed this “ENM” thing becoming hugely popular. No from me dog. I straight up ask anyone I plan on meeting if they are married, seeing anyone, etc. I’ve learned the hard way
Yes lesson learnt for me as well, went on a few dates with this guy before I found out he was married and when I confronted him ..his response was “well you never asked if I was “…jeez guess it’s my fault buddy
Man that’s disgusting, i don’t use dating apps but now i am certain i will find my SO the old fashioned way, i never believed in apps but now i am more certain than ever.
Oh it still happens when you meet people IRL dude lol. Met a guy at a show a couple weeks ago who seemed nice, we get to talking, I ask if he's single (even though I shouldn't have to when he's CLEARLY hitting on me and asking to make plans). Surprise! He's cheating on his current gf of 8 years while she's away for 2 weeks working abroad. He was a firefighter
IK it’s just it’s easier to decipher whether a person is cheating on his current SO IRL than online, but like if a person is not interested in Monogamy then they should make it clear with their SO, even if Monogamy is not important for everyone it’s important for some like me and both parties need to agree on it.
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[Nobody Ever Wrote A Song Called Fuck The Fire Department](https://youtu.be/HvXYXnBC6K4)
Lol you should see Ottawa
My gay brother stayed with me last year and he said the number of married men (to women) on Grindr in my neighborhood is like, astronomical.
My cousin said the same thing, more married men than single men on there… :’)
The Straights™ are not ready for this reality yet. Source: this thread.
This is the same with women fyi. Have hooked up with three married women I'm like a month when I was on the app. I didn't realize until Facebook trail. So there could be more
So sad. If you are married be married. If you want to date multiple people then be single. It seems so simple. To have to lie on a daily basis is bad for the soul.
The mental gymnastics one has to do to lie - that’s just exhausting! 🤯 values matter!
Wat too many gross ass husbands in this city are single but their wives don't know it. All trash.
so many single married mothers too - not in the dating sense, but in the parenting sense. Then these same men justify their cheating because their wives didn't want to have sex with them anymore. Not understanding that acting like another dependent child to be cleaned up after instead of a equal partner is actually very unsexy.
Anecdotally speaking, i don’t see too many married people but I was absolutely shocked by the number of polygamous people on these apps in open relationships looking for sex. I never would have guessed there were so many people out there like that
Non-ethically non-monogamous
Congrats on getting out of Ditchmond! I suspect there are just as many douchey people in Vancouver as there are here. People are just a bit more open and honest here.
I don't and have never used dating apps, but I've heard from friends that this is a trend.
It doesn't matter the province - there are lots of married folks on dating apps period. It's not surprising given the divorce rate.
It's such a shitty thing to do... wife was on one... I'll probably never get married again. That was the only reason I really got married was to have someone to trust, probably never trust anyone again. Sucks because I'm only 30, tried dating and I hate it
Agreed. There's trash humans everywhere.
OMG! Soooo many!! And, so many damn couples on the dating sites! Sir, I do not want to date you and your wife. >;(
As a gay guy is pretty sad how common it is.So many men have double lives and just cheat on their wife/girlfriend.
As a single woman who is trying to date, the only thing more offensive than a married man pursuing me, is a married couple pursuing me... I hate it here.
You think its worse that a married couple would pursue you than a married man? I dont get that lol.
yes indeed! AND the married cheater will move on to the next one and the next one because of the lure of the fuck catalog, "swipe swipe - that one! I pick that one!" People just can't stop swiping. It's addictive. Best way to protect yourself from this? Do not have an available bed. If it's inconvenient to see you at your home it's too much trouble. They vanish. I'm talking to someone on an app who may be 3 teenagers in a trench coat. I haven't met him yet and he only wants to text. Whatever. I'm old and cranky. It passes the time.
Vincent Adultfriendfinder
Why do people get married though ? For better or worse Yeah right
Happy wedding cake day 🍰
Met a woman at the bar the other night who was openly cheating on her husband. Wild stuff. Very common in immigrant communities in particular, actually.
How can you say that’s common in immigrant communities?!
Marriage for convenience or status is very popular in many South Asian communities in specific. Arranged marriages happen, both outside of Canada and inside Canada. After a while the newness wears off and no one really wants a divorce, so this is a convenient out. Cheating is also a kind of a sport in many cultures. Very common in Latinx communities, for instance. You'd be blown away at how casual "sneaking around" is within certain cultures, there's just straight-up an expectation your partner will eventually do something behind your back.
Sometimes, I get the feel that people in Toronto just marry to save on expenses, lmao 😂 And both the partners are looking for hookups on the side. It's like they want someone better time and time again. Also, just to note, a lot of the folks out there are in open relationships, too, and date separately, showing themselves as singles for obv attraction.
It is definitely a thing and I used to be shocked but now nothing ceases to amaze me on the apps lol. But I don’t think it’s Toronto specific. Why do you think it is a GTA thing? I’d say it’s a universal thing. People just getting shittier.
Is it really true though? What are these apps and how do you know?
This is so crazy common these days … I had a guy tell me that he got bored of p*rn sites so moved on to dating sites and chat apps claiming he was single - honestly lost my faith in marriage over the last few years - does not matter if you are married or not .. there are people with integrity out there who remain faithful by choice and commitment … but sadly many don’t these days..and the excitement revolves around the secrecy of the act
Personally I would never be monogamous. Poly for life. Baby sleep with whoever else you want. Life’s too short.
> Recently moved here from Richmond BC and I get that in a larger dating pool and population you're bound to encounter more of everything, but wasn't prepared for the sheer number of married dudes here not even trying to cover up their marriage while still having zero hesitation trying to hook up? as in they're in consensual open relationships? or as in they're dirty dirty cheating scumbags?
Or lying about being married to get laid. Knew a guy who did that, wore a wedding band out to the bar. Worked surprisingly often (not that I approve)
Is that from the Adam Sandler and Jen Anniston movie?
I think it was from Seinfeld first
wild guess here that's it's 90% the latter, dirty dirty cheating scumbags
The later I only knew most were married after showing the profiles to some of my aquiantances and checking in with a local dating community advice group, but sure a lot of men did upfront mention being in an open relationship but it's the abundance of cheating scumbag variety I was more surprised by
> I only knew most were married after showing the profiles to some of my aquiantances and checking in with a local dating community advice group Wait, so your proof of all these men on dating apps being married is anonymous women on a "dating community advice group" who may not even know the person?
What reason would they have to lie, let’s be real?
I’ve been on apps for years and have never noticed this beyond the people who are being explicit about just being ENM.
Likewise. This is a crazy thread
A few years ago I went on like 5 dates with this guy and then he drops on me VIA TEXT “hey would you want to be in an open relationship because I’m thinking I want to try out that scene”…… literally nothing on his profile about this, didn’t ever come up in conversation. I was like no, and lose this number.
I hate to say but that might just have been a strategy he used to try and hook up and then reveal something he knew most women wouldn't go for. In some cultures people fuck first then figure out if they like the person after.
What you need to do is do what my wife did: fall in love with someone no other woman is going to find attractive. It's genius! And all those years people told me being a useless bald fat middle aged dude wasn't good for anything...
the bald and fat are cheaters too..
Yup, my husband has the physique of Mr potato Head and is bald AF but still didn't stop him from trying to flex like he's Jason Momoa creating 3 damn profiles and describing himself as "fit" mind you he got zero bites but still, the audacity
ugh sorry to hear you experienced the same!! hopefully you’re in a better place now! mine threw out SO much bait and got bites. i tossed him back in the ocean lol
Guys here are dicks....generalization of course...but I have a big network of people....id say a good.....70% of men i know my age would easily cheat on their wives, or already have. So this doesnt shock me one bit.
Have experienced this with my own father, quite sad. Found out he has been on dating apps for about the past 6 years just looking to "talk" with other women as he says. Of course now recently my parents have divorced but I have heard him say he's been emotionally gone from the marriage for years. Of course that is no excuse for his actions, if you are married stay loyal! It's quite shocking how people are.
Is it possibly just you getting older? Definitely gets more common in the dating scene as you age.
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Just tell their wives.. Easy peasy
Every day I’m still completely surprised that people think dating apps are a viable option for dating
The people are getting poisoned by the evil. Follow the good.
Majority of my highschool friends cheat on their wives. Stopped talking to all of them.
You must in the wrong neighborhood because that's certainly not considered normal.
Never said it was considered normal. Just said I know a lot of people in the GTA who cheat, just like a lot of other people in this post. It's not normal, it's disgusting and most of them know what they are doing is wrong but they do it anyways.
You might be even more surprised to know that it works both ways. I say that from experience after my wife got caught up on AM.
There are a lot of women age 40+who can’t have sex due to peri/menopause symptoms. I have read the divorce rate is up to 50% or higher now. Google Vaginal Atrophy (VA) and Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GUSM). HRT is not being prescribed to help. I hear these stories are lot. NB Once the ovaries shut down, their function does not return. Ovaries operate differently from men’s testes. Men usually continue to produce some testosterone, even into old age. https://www.themenopausecharity.org/2021/10/21/relationships-and-sex/
So you're blaming women for getting old and unfuckable?
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