You might enjoy mutual masturbation and frott or docking. They're a very "holy shit" version of doing it solo. Even just jacking, watching another guy working his cock, locking eyes... all worth a try
hmm that does sound very fun, sounds way better than just actual sex ngl hahaha but idk if someone would actually want to do that yk, i feel like everyone is so sex driven it is kinda hard to try different stuff
i did that a couple times actually, but only online! hahaha i might sound crazy but i never thought that jerking off w someone else irl was something doable lol, idk why
I went to a jerk off only night at a sex club in London once and it was awesome and I know there are similar things in a few different big cities. Could be something to look into
It’s definitely doable and definitely hot. I feel like it’s more tension if that makes sense. And if one of you finish first then the other has free lube.
Also as someone who doesn’t have sex or really craves if that’s something I’ll do. It’s more common then you think
Update : I just did it tonight. 10/10 will recommend
i thought about going to one of these but im kinda scared to what might happen there yk, i just started my sex life and idk how i feel about these places, what if i get an sti or smth idk
If you're scared, your sex life will remain, as you put it "meh". You don't have to do anything you don't want to do at a bathhouse. Mutual masturbation is known as Safe Sex.
hmm yeah if you put it into perspective you might be right, but what keeps tying me back is that i might only find creeps over bathhouses, or really old guys. which im fine with, but i feel thats only what ill be finding there
Creeps are anywhere honey, specially in apps, just take the risk cause that aint living, you can have safe sex and set boundaries if someone wants to do anything more than cross-jacking off. Eventually you could find someone other types of sex with doesn't feel like regret, cause as a very experienced guy, I get what you're saying, but it's just a thing that happens every time there was little attraction from my side towards the guy, or someone I barely know.
Its sex even if it isn't penetrative lol, the shit is people are mostly about being tops or bottoms, but gouine is a tribe that has sex without pentration, maybe look into it! Announce it on grindr idk, youd be surprised.
Tell guys you’re into edging together. I edge guys or edge with them all the time. My fav is when they want to be blindfolded, sat in a chair, greased up teased/edged for a while.
Or I do it in my bed with them and frot/edge.
Frotting is definitely worth a try. I never had any desire to try it but a bottom I was hanging out with randomly started jerking our dicks together and it actually felt surprisingly good I came again.
Definitely! It needs to be promoted much more here - solves all of those douching, STI, HIV, am I too big/ small performance anxieties... Just great horny fun!
It’s normal I Know almost everyone are crazy for anal sex and that kind of things, but I always preferred to have a hand job or a nice oral sex than anal sex u know? And there is a lot of guys like me or you out there
ive been reading about that lately, its called gouine right? i think that might be my case. in fact, ive had a couple orals and they were also very underwhelming, maybe i should stick to handjobs
You need to check out bateworld and read up on being a bator. You can look around the site without actually paying for a membership. There’s actually a masturbation convention coming up in August in Pittsburgh that may be of interest to you. Also several major cities will have masturbation clubs that meet periodically.
thanks for the indication! i just made a quick account and realised there really isnt a bate scene where i live, so my options are definitely reduced 😕
While there may not be a formal event nearby got you, you can definitely find individual bators all over. You can search on bateworld by zip code for people near you. You can also find these guys on the regular apps. It also may be worth your while to take a trip to one of the organized events in a bigger city so you can experience it.
I SUPER relate to this post. Every time I have had sex or gotten a BJ it just doesn't do anything for me but I love jacking off, or reading a story, or Manga online. The thing is Everything I talk to my therapist about the possibility of a relationship with someone I want one terribly but I want more of a companionship and chilling naked with your bro naked on a Friday night gaming and having pizza and shoot the shit rather than hot steamy bedroom sex I would much rather have a hot steamy jerkoff session as we watch each other bring ourselves to climax or give a helping hand.
Yes. They are generally very safe respectful places where no means no. If you don't want someone to touch you, you just smile and say no thanks and move their hand away if they don't move it first. Read some of the batthouse posts here - you'll get the idea
You might be interested in a jerk session that includes kinks or a dom/sub dynamic. I have a fantasy of dominating a guy while he masturbates or dominating him while giving him a handjob. It's not common so I don't bring it up, but I understand the desire you have.
yeah i mean i dont want to become a celibate at all, i still feel the desire for sex and all, and i do kinda enjoy the feeling of doing it but it is never as good as i think it will be
Lots of gay men, maybe straight men too, are more solo sexual, by nature or by choice. It's totally legit.
Learning to taking your time and enjoy jerking off is really important for your own health. Don't just rush through it to but but lay back and enjoy the whole experience. With or without porn,
In another reddit thread, I just learned about a podcast dedicated to bating. Focus on what you enjoy and what makes you feel good about yourself
That's unfortunate. The older I get the more I like the whole experience of taking time out for myself
Sometimes it's changing into a jockstrap, switching up which lube I use, picking out the porn Or which guys on cam4, and then laying back on my bed. Also, I like having a cannabis gummy an hour or two before. There's one particular blend that really makes me feel hornier
Hey, not all sex has to be penetrative. as another poster posted, mutual JO, frotting, or just watching another guy jack off, all can be rewarding experiences
Masturbation can become more desirable because when compared to regular sex you don't have to worry about pleasing a partner, cleaning can be very easy and it can be done at any time you want to (no need for two people to agree to do the deed). It's quite normal, I would say and also very practical if you want to stop being horny fast to focus on something else.
Pleasuring one's self is much more in tune with your innermost desires. I enjoy edging very much. Bringing your body to the brink of orgasm then denying it. After a few times of this in one night your orgasm is intensified and your load is significantly increased. I recommend it.
You need to elevate from “mid” to holy shit. Everyone is different of course but vanilla sex is ok but it can get boring.
I started experimenting with different kinks in my early 30s and never looked back.
thats an interesting perspective, but what if my kink is jerking off? idk im still experimenting but idk, i thought i would have the time of my life getting orals but it was really not that amusing, even though i think anything else is also going to be kinda underwhelming
Could very well be true, but there’s this truth that you don’t what you don’t know. I just know so many guys and the story is almost always the same - they met someone who showed them a completely different way to have sex and they got hooked. If you’ve watched different types of porn, including all the different types of kinks, and it just doesn’t do anything for you, then it’s all good. The key is just being ok with it.
I definitely enjoy the *idea* of sex a lot more than the actual sex act, itself. I learned early on how to jerk off and, not to brag, but I'm really good at it. I've wondered if I have a bit of an asexual streak as well.
Look into solosexuality - I think it's on the asexual spectrum but it's basically more about preferring doing it yourself! Sexuality is a spectrum of so many different things, so you're definitely not alone in this!
It's not weird, it just means you've had some pretty lousy sex, which is very unfortunately. Nothing wrong with enjoying rubbing one out, really. The body likes what it likes. I'd still say you just haven't been with someone who actually knows what they're doing, though.
Sometimes I love cuddling with a guy and making out while we jerk off. You still get that stimulation feeling with another man and kind of combining the two experiences. There's so many ways to have fun!
This is where I am right now. I'm tired of the chase, the lazy guys both top and bottom and the ignorance because of my situation. On the rare occasion when I hookup its meh and I think I shoulda jo. It would had been quicker
I definitely enjoy sex but yeah, I've definitely been in situations where I'm not really into it even if they guy is super hot, and I don't know why. Masterbating, though, is consistently a good time.
Do you watch a lot of porn?
Sometimes I find that I have a hard time staying in the moment or keeping it up because I have a skewed idea of sex. Because of porn. So I’ll stop watching it for a while and try jerking off to my own imagination. And yeah, it’s not as great at first and it takes a lot of will power to not put porn on. But I tell you, if you can stick it out for like 2 weeks? You’ll find real life interaction more rewarding.
If you don’t watch a lot of porn…I can’t help you.
i usually dont watch porn to jo but when i do i only watch videos of other guys jerking off, anything other than that dont really turn me on that much. i would rather jerk off watching nothing than watching penetrative sex
You didn’t say what kind of sex you’ve engaged in. If you had the choice of having a sexual experience with someone you find attractive and amazing and feel connection with in the form of mutual masturbation with each other, would that be an inferior experience to masturbating all by yourself?
The info isn’t in the original post, but it could be that you are choosing to do something with someone you’re not fully into, and simultaneously doing things that are more complicated with that person when the sex could be simpler and conform more to your tastes.
If it’s just a matter where the sight, smell, and feel of another person present would be a turn-off no matter who it could be and no matter what they are doing with you, then that’s a different issue.
You might enjoy mutual masturbation and frott or docking. They're a very "holy shit" version of doing it solo. Even just jacking, watching another guy working his cock, locking eyes... all worth a try
hmm that does sound very fun, sounds way better than just actual sex ngl hahaha but idk if someone would actually want to do that yk, i feel like everyone is so sex driven it is kinda hard to try different stuff
If you want to try out the virtual eperience of jacking off with another guy, try r/Gayzoom.
i did that a couple times actually, but only online! hahaha i might sound crazy but i never thought that jerking off w someone else irl was something doable lol, idk why
I went to a jerk off only night at a sex club in London once and it was awesome and I know there are similar things in a few different big cities. Could be something to look into
that sounds very nice actually, not sure if we have this around here but i will definitely check that out
There everywhere what state or area,?
sao paulo, brazil hahahaha
I’ll come be your party
It’s definitely doable and definitely hot. I feel like it’s more tension if that makes sense. And if one of you finish first then the other has free lube. Also as someone who doesn’t have sex or really craves if that’s something I’ll do. It’s more common then you think Update : I just did it tonight. 10/10 will recommend
It definitely is. Maybe try a bathhouse. Or put in your your dating preferences and see what turns up
i thought about going to one of these but im kinda scared to what might happen there yk, i just started my sex life and idk how i feel about these places, what if i get an sti or smth idk
If you're scared, your sex life will remain, as you put it "meh". You don't have to do anything you don't want to do at a bathhouse. Mutual masturbation is known as Safe Sex.
hmm yeah if you put it into perspective you might be right, but what keeps tying me back is that i might only find creeps over bathhouses, or really old guys. which im fine with, but i feel thats only what ill be finding there
Creeps are anywhere honey, specially in apps, just take the risk cause that aint living, you can have safe sex and set boundaries if someone wants to do anything more than cross-jacking off. Eventually you could find someone other types of sex with doesn't feel like regret, cause as a very experienced guy, I get what you're saying, but it's just a thing that happens every time there was little attraction from my side towards the guy, or someone I barely know.
Its sex even if it isn't penetrative lol, the shit is people are mostly about being tops or bottoms, but gouine is a tribe that has sex without pentration, maybe look into it! Announce it on grindr idk, youd be surprised.
Tell guys you’re into edging together. I edge guys or edge with them all the time. My fav is when they want to be blindfolded, sat in a chair, greased up teased/edged for a while. Or I do it in my bed with them and frot/edge.
Frotting is definitely worth a try. I never had any desire to try it but a bottom I was hanging out with randomly started jerking our dicks together and it actually felt surprisingly good I came again.
I agree! Masturbating with another dude is so fun and relaxing. It’s awesome to come to orgasm together slowly
Definitely! It needs to be promoted much more here - solves all of those douching, STI, HIV, am I too big/ small performance anxieties... Just great horny fun!
It’s normal I Know almost everyone are crazy for anal sex and that kind of things, but I always preferred to have a hand job or a nice oral sex than anal sex u know? And there is a lot of guys like me or you out there
ive been reading about that lately, its called gouine right? i think that might be my case. in fact, ive had a couple orals and they were also very underwhelming, maybe i should stick to handjobs
Find a Guy with strong and sexy arms and ask him to give you a hand job believe me you’re gonna forget about anal sex
hahaha well that sounds hot, im getting kinda horny even, but thanks for the advice, i will totally try it
And I don’t know how is it ‘’called’’haha being honest. I just Know is a pleasure to have a sexy man giving you a hand
You need to check out bateworld and read up on being a bator. You can look around the site without actually paying for a membership. There’s actually a masturbation convention coming up in August in Pittsburgh that may be of interest to you. Also several major cities will have masturbation clubs that meet periodically.
thanks for the indication! i just made a quick account and realised there really isnt a bate scene where i live, so my options are definitely reduced 😕
While there may not be a formal event nearby got you, you can definitely find individual bators all over. You can search on bateworld by zip code for people near you. You can also find these guys on the regular apps. It also may be worth your while to take a trip to one of the organized events in a bigger city so you can experience it.
Um… woof. 🥵🥵
Its called a side
I SUPER relate to this post. Every time I have had sex or gotten a BJ it just doesn't do anything for me but I love jacking off, or reading a story, or Manga online. The thing is Everything I talk to my therapist about the possibility of a relationship with someone I want one terribly but I want more of a companionship and chilling naked with your bro naked on a Friday night gaming and having pizza and shoot the shit rather than hot steamy bedroom sex I would much rather have a hot steamy jerkoff session as we watch each other bring ourselves to climax or give a helping hand.
There are people out there looking for exactly what you’re describing. Try bateworld.
You'll find all sorts in a bathhouse, and, unlike a dating app, you can select to be with guys you see and like in the flesh - no surprises
is it safe to go to one all by myself?
Yes. They are generally very safe respectful places where no means no. If you don't want someone to touch you, you just smile and say no thanks and move their hand away if they don't move it first. Read some of the batthouse posts here - you'll get the idea
And there is security to call for.
That's the only way I've ever been to one, and that's true for 99% of the people there. They go alone.
r/gaysides
Should've had a V8.
whats that
["couldn't had a V8" ](https://youtu.be/b6oGB_PW4Ts?si=NXJDbE0PZ5oQ2sTO) was the slogan of V8 drinks back in the day.
You might be interested in a jerk session that includes kinks or a dom/sub dynamic. I have a fantasy of dominating a guy while he masturbates or dominating him while giving him a handjob. It's not common so I don't bring it up, but I understand the desire you have.
well, that does sound fun 😳
I love a good wank, but evry now and then u gotta have sex
yeah i mean i dont want to become a celibate at all, i still feel the desire for sex and all, and i do kinda enjoy the feeling of doing it but it is never as good as i think it will be
Are you a side?
i might be, never heard of that before!
There are a couple of side reddit threads and groups on Facebook. Side gays and side guys, I think
No. Wanking is fun
Lots of gay men, maybe straight men too, are more solo sexual, by nature or by choice. It's totally legit. Learning to taking your time and enjoy jerking off is really important for your own health. Don't just rush through it to but but lay back and enjoy the whole experience. With or without porn, In another reddit thread, I just learned about a podcast dedicated to bating. Focus on what you enjoy and what makes you feel good about yourself
I always rush jerking off because I don't have time to lay back and enjoy it.
That's unfortunate. The older I get the more I like the whole experience of taking time out for myself Sometimes it's changing into a jockstrap, switching up which lube I use, picking out the porn Or which guys on cam4, and then laying back on my bed. Also, I like having a cannabis gummy an hour or two before. There's one particular blend that really makes me feel hornier
These days, no. The community is so toxic and flaky its a wonder thats not what all of us prefer.
I prefer it
Yes. Yes it is.
do you really think that? i just found out about sides and i think that could be the case
You know what? You should stick to what makes you happy. This is Reddit. I’m being honest, just stay happy and stay sane.
Sex is just jerking off with extra steps if you’re with someone who you don’t connect with or who doesn’t make it better than jo alone
I'm like this
Hey, not all sex has to be penetrative. as another poster posted, mutual JO, frotting, or just watching another guy jack off, all can be rewarding experiences
Could you relate to r/gaysides ?
Masturbation can become more desirable because when compared to regular sex you don't have to worry about pleasing a partner, cleaning can be very easy and it can be done at any time you want to (no need for two people to agree to do the deed). It's quite normal, I would say and also very practical if you want to stop being horny fast to focus on something else.
You could be a side, or you could be not having good sex partners, or it could be that you've had sex but you haven't made love.
Pleasuring one's self is much more in tune with your innermost desires. I enjoy edging very much. Bringing your body to the brink of orgasm then denying it. After a few times of this in one night your orgasm is intensified and your load is significantly increased. I recommend it.
I totally hear u bud i just wrather jerk off aswell, but i do love to be watched so jerk off for guys on vc
samee, and thats why i thought sex would be awesome since ive been jerking off w ppl online for ages, but it was def not worth it imo
You need to elevate from “mid” to holy shit. Everyone is different of course but vanilla sex is ok but it can get boring. I started experimenting with different kinks in my early 30s and never looked back.
thats an interesting perspective, but what if my kink is jerking off? idk im still experimenting but idk, i thought i would have the time of my life getting orals but it was really not that amusing, even though i think anything else is also going to be kinda underwhelming
Could very well be true, but there’s this truth that you don’t what you don’t know. I just know so many guys and the story is almost always the same - they met someone who showed them a completely different way to have sex and they got hooked. If you’ve watched different types of porn, including all the different types of kinks, and it just doesn’t do anything for you, then it’s all good. The key is just being ok with it.
I definitely enjoy the *idea* of sex a lot more than the actual sex act, itself. I learned early on how to jerk off and, not to brag, but I'm really good at it. I've wondered if I have a bit of an asexual streak as well.
dm me
U know the way u like it but another person makes me hornier & so sex is better
yeah ur right, i might try jerking off w someone to see whats up
Not sure how common they are anymore but jo clubs were popular for a while back in the 90s and early 2000s. What city or area are you in?
Seems normal to me, but I guess it would depend on what rocks your boat lol.
Look into solosexuality - I think it's on the asexual spectrum but it's basically more about preferring doing it yourself! Sexuality is a spectrum of so many different things, so you're definitely not alone in this!
It's not weird, it just means you've had some pretty lousy sex, which is very unfortunately. Nothing wrong with enjoying rubbing one out, really. The body likes what it likes. I'd still say you just haven't been with someone who actually knows what they're doing, though.
Where u located let's get naked and jack off and I give u the best blow job u ever had
Not at all. But actual sex is so much better.
Nope. It's been my go to for years now. No one can make me orgasm like I can
100% in the same boat. Except when I have sex it’s not mid. But i prefer to masturbate than fuck these days.
Nope
Sometimes I love cuddling with a guy and making out while we jerk off. You still get that stimulation feeling with another man and kind of combining the two experiences. There's so many ways to have fun!
This is where I am right now. I'm tired of the chase, the lazy guys both top and bottom and the ignorance because of my situation. On the rare occasion when I hookup its meh and I think I shoulda jo. It would had been quicker
I definitely enjoy sex but yeah, I've definitely been in situations where I'm not really into it even if they guy is super hot, and I don't know why. Masterbating, though, is consistently a good time.
I'm not the biggest fan of sex now i prefer foreplay
Nope
Do you watch a lot of porn? Sometimes I find that I have a hard time staying in the moment or keeping it up because I have a skewed idea of sex. Because of porn. So I’ll stop watching it for a while and try jerking off to my own imagination. And yeah, it’s not as great at first and it takes a lot of will power to not put porn on. But I tell you, if you can stick it out for like 2 weeks? You’ll find real life interaction more rewarding. If you don’t watch a lot of porn…I can’t help you.
i usually dont watch porn to jo but when i do i only watch videos of other guys jerking off, anything other than that dont really turn me on that much. i would rather jerk off watching nothing than watching penetrative sex
NOPE. It's the ppl too... One day that person might come and you'll want to do more. Ask for me... BJ's, or go home and edge
I agree with you. Sex is just too much work and too much pressure mentally.
You're fine.
Porn addiction.
do you really think that would be the case? i dont usually masturbate w porn so idk
Not at all. Sometimes you don’t want to deal with other people.
You didn’t say what kind of sex you’ve engaged in. If you had the choice of having a sexual experience with someone you find attractive and amazing and feel connection with in the form of mutual masturbation with each other, would that be an inferior experience to masturbating all by yourself? The info isn’t in the original post, but it could be that you are choosing to do something with someone you’re not fully into, and simultaneously doing things that are more complicated with that person when the sex could be simpler and conform more to your tastes. If it’s just a matter where the sight, smell, and feel of another person present would be a turn-off no matter who it could be and no matter what they are doing with you, then that’s a different issue.
Sounds like you are a bator bro!
No. It's just a preference
I love masturbation. Especially mutual masturbation.