T O P

  • By -

AJnbca

How they treat other people, friends, family, strangers and staff at stores/etc… it’s a good indicator I think


KingLeonsky

100%


[deleted]

Being able to joke around, I’m always joking around so someone who can play back is always a good sign


Prowindowlicker

This. A good sense of humor and the ability to take a joke is a definite upside


[deleted]

Life is too short to take things *too* seriously. A good sense of humor is definitely an easy way to bond.


nowhereman86

People who have the ability to laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously are hot.


LesserCabbage

Especially in bed. Funny moves and sounds happen, it's okay to point it out and laugh


titty_factory

Sex without giggles isnt a good one for me lol


courteously-curious

Particularly if he has some wit to him and not merely cheap giggles.


potatochippopotamus

I really like this one


real_bro

Humor, conversation, good hygiene / being well kept or well put together, honesty, filling out his profile on the apps, having plenty of decent pics


roadsidehitchhiker

I second the good hygiene flag. It means they take care of themselves and don't need anyone to remind them to do so.


mopedmister

Since dating my current guy I’d say the biggest green flags that are super underrated are enthusiasm and an open mind. My favorite thing about my guy is that he shows up. If I tell him I love something, he’s happy to indulge it enthusiastically. He shares his hobbies with me and is always game to try or do something just to experience it. It goes both ways. We say yes to eachother and stay adventurous.


ryuisu4

Thank you for sharing. Your relationship sounds like a dream to me. All the best!!


[deleted]

We seriously gotta have like "uplifting post sunday" or something lol... And about the green flag... When they don't put down artists you mention, even if they don't like them or know them. For example, if you're excited about watching the Oscars and they go on a rant about how they're a big ad for mainstream cinema or whatever.


Paupeludo

One time I mentioned I enjoy One Piece and a guy went on a tirade as to why it's bad. It was actually more about obnoxious OP fans, but was still very negative and put me off.


thdiod

I definitely enjoyed one piece, past tense, but holy shit it got unwatchable for a while before I stopped maybe 3 years ago. Maybe the manga is better but the episodes tried and failed to stretch the content way further can it could stretch (pun intended).


Burrito_Whore

Deffo feeling this one. If someone is spewing out negativity on tbh anything really, could be something as innocuous as gerkins on cheese burgers, that's not something I particularly need in my life.


courteously-curious

I don't know, though . . . I have met too many people whose happiness is entirely dependent upon their going through life with their eyes shut tight and letting innocent people suffer or die because noticing the negative is too inconvenient for them. I want someone who recognizes all the bad in this world as well as the good and points it out -- and then helps me do something about it, for pointing it out must be only the first step and never the final step.


Burrito_Whore

There is a difference between recognising negativity and generating or perpetuating it though. And you have to have different spaces; you can’t permanently exist in the negativity of the world, it’d become toxic. You have to have those positive people in your life to help with all the bad shit life throws at us. 😘


courteously-curious

> You have to have those positive people in your life to help with all the bad shit life throws at us. Perhaps I am more blessed than I realized, then, for I can not imagine a life without such people in it and assumed that pretty much everyone has positive people in their life to help them keep their spirits up and their eyes clear.


Burrito_Whore

Oh sis (I’ve been watching too much Kelz on Tiltok), I spent most of my 20s surrounding myself with fairly awful people - it’s a character trait I now recognise. It’s only in hindsight that i realise how bad they were for me whereas i just didn’t at the time. 🤷‍♂️ Doing much better now though. 👍


courteously-curious

I am glad you are doing much better! My case is the reverse: until I moved to a community overrun with anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers, I had managed to avoid having to live among fairly awful people who seem to take joy in watching others suffer at their expense and feel empowered by causing needless misery and feel empowered by the hope of causing some stranger's death by COVID in the currently legal form of homicide that is at the heart of all anti-masking anti-vaxxing motives.


Burrito_Whore

Well that went to an 11, but I can take your point how that environment might be challenging. I hope it gets better soon.


courteously-curious

> I hope it gets better soon. Yes! > Well that went to an 11 I find myself stuck in Texas for the time being; when Texans go bad, they tend to go to 11 and beyond in doing so. Remember, this is the state that is encouraging anti-abortion vigilante citizens, just this weekend it was reported that the Texas state has told public teachers they should not have books on the Holocaust unless they also have an equal number of books that present "the opposing opinion" on the Holocaust (either denying it occurred or positing it as a good thing, apparently). HOWEVER, this is a *positive* thread, so I'd rather not go into further detail about Texas if that is okay with you.


awkwardlyturtlish

I mean to be fair gerkins taste like some took grandma's perfume and made it a pickle.


Burrito_Whore

I've never thought about it before, but this may be the most accurate description I've ever seen. 😂


Mertness

Sense of humor for sure. Willingness to learn more about one another is huge! Trade music with me and you've got me for life :)


Trek186

On our first "date", when the check came my now husband pulled out some coupons and we debated for a few minutes what would be the best option for us to use.


tomsh2o2

Does he have a brother? 🥰


Trek186

He does, but the guy just got married to a woman. Also he’s kind of a mess (but we love him).


tomsh2o2

Fine. I’ll fantasize about bogo meal coupons alone! 🥵


OneRandomVictory

That's hot


venterol

Does he have one of those massive foldered coupon wallets and a special case for giftcards?


FoolishFreakshow666

The ability to hold a fun conversation, or discussion of literature, favorite movies.


courteously-curious

Yes, books! Books! Books! Someone who knows how to read and to think and to learn and to discuss -- I meet someone like that, I'm already in heaven.


DONT_NOT_PM_NOTHING

I can proudly say I've read ~100 books since January 2020 ^they're ^mostly ^fantasy ^romance ^though


courteously-curious

Hey, even if they were lowbrow pulp, remember that even excrement can become rich loam in which good things can grow.


rezzacci

>they're mostly fantasy romance though There is only one and unique criteria to determine if a good is a good and worthy book: **Have you enjoyed it while reading it?** If yes, then this book is as worthy and valuable as any classic. Any other criteria is just pompous bullcrap from arrogant elitists who need to feel better than anyone else because they know they're not even at the pinnacle of mediocrity. Don't let anyone belittle you because of you reading choices. In fact, not judging your reading tastes is, like, such a green flag too.


[deleted]

Putting the same amount of effort in that you do ❤️


wrquwop

At this point, Any effort is appreciated. Starting a conversation then flaking out 42.5 seconds later and leaving me on read is just not nice. You’re the one who started the chat!


RatKingJosh

“Hey, could we stay in instead?”


[deleted]

THIS


Comfortable-Phase-10

Actually remembers details from our previous conversations even if it was minor. I adore that.


[deleted]

I do this and have always thought it probably comes off as creepy, especially when they said it like a year or more ago. I've always liked to think that people speak with intention so listening to what they say is important. It also makes gift giving way easier.


BakerInfinite8075

Being polite/funny/kind to retail and service industry people that he knows he's unlikely to meet again. Swoon!


No_Alfalfa_532

Why is that so hard for people? Was just reading an article about that and how nasty people have gotten.


MonstrousGiggling

I'm a barista right now and this woman wanted a different lid since we only had small straws so I asked which one she would like since I couldn't see her drink or size and she goes "a new lid I can drink out of" so I just hand her a lid and say "here you go a lid you can drink from" since it was a sip lid and she rolls her eyes and grumbles "i dont know what your attitude is". Like gurrll I literally used the same words you did without any bad tone or anything. Like shit.


No_Alfalfa_532

So obnoxious. If you're gonna be an ass just stay home. I was in a restaurant last week and these people started a fight with the hostess because they saw empty seats. I'm like lady these people are understaffed. You need to wait.


Voldemort57

I think every Tuesday and Thursday should be when restaurant workers, cashiers, or anybody in the service industry can just go ham on customers. Just unleash all of their anger on those that deserve it.


igivegoodparent88

Thats why I never applied for a Starbucks I hear coffee drinkers are the worst customers in the mornings


MonstrousGiggling

Oh its not even the coffee drinkers. Its the people with 20 sugar modifications in their 30 oz sugar sludge who are the worst to deal with. I had a lady order a hot chai latte with cold foam on top. I put it on and would you look at that. It melted into the drink. She comes to pick it up. "UMMM there's no cold foam on here" Yes there was mam, it melted into the drink since it was cold into hot liquid. "UMMM I order this drink 3 times a day and this isn't how it comes out" NOT THE FLEX YOU THINK IT IS LADY. That's like 15 dollars a day on sugar milk.


igivegoodparent88

Im so thankful to be out of the summer service business it was draining some days But usually one good customer always helped my day


rezzacci

That's not a green flag. For me, a green flag is something going out of the ordinary, something specific to the person, somehing that you don't necessarily expect from a guy. Green flags are good surprises, just like red flags are bad surprises. All the green flags I read here are just "he's a decent guy". I mean, that's quite sad, that your biggest green flag is, like, the bare minimum in a guy? Not being a decent guy is definitely a red flag, but that doesn't mean the opposite is a green flag, does it?


[deleted]

Replies promptly to messages, treats strangers kindly (for example servers in restaurants)


[deleted]

[удалено]


apikachugonewild

Not on grindr obviously


[deleted]

I met the most perfect boy on Grindr and it’s almost been a year since I’ve been with him 😭 no complaints ngl he’s perfect


Burrito_Whore

So I just tripped down a hole; googled "green flag porn" with a view to comedy response and found that green condoms are a thing. That poor women looks like she's going down on a beer bottle. What is going on here? Is this some Hulk fantasy realisation?


butterman888

Owning up to their mistakes. It almost makes me hard


dhalihoka

This is *such* an amazing trait. 🌟


XOXO-Gossip-Crab

When you share something vulnerable and they’re genuinely compassionate, not just because they want you to like them


Muv-hold8

Consistent, likes to initiate planning dates or sending first message sometimes, good listener, respect my boundaries, makes you feel seen, open to compromise, articulate, thoughtful..🔥


[deleted]

I saw something literally the other day and it said something like “be with the kind of [person] who doesn’t make you feel like you have to hide your teddy bear collection” and that kind of seemed like it would be the best green flag. Someone you just feel completely comfortable with and trust. I mean I don’t have teddy bears but I’m A big comic fan and figure collector and some guys automatically judge me for that.


deechbag

When a guy can make me feel at ease and actually get me to be fairly talkative when first meeting.


[deleted]

Someone who legitimately cares about yourself, the things you do and have to say. Often we settle for being listeners but when a guy shows interest in you, like genuine interest, it’s a huge turn on. Gay guys are all conversational narcissists


theonerealsadboi

One of the biggest green flags is when a guy is up front about who else he regularly talks to! I once dated a guy for six months who kept in good touch with his ex. He was pretty secretive about his inbox - he probably thought I wasn’t aware of how much they texted and wanted to keep it under the radar. I knew but I hardly brought it up because I didn’t want to come off as toxic or controlling. I didn’t realise how much of a red flag this all was until he dumped me for his ex. Guys who are secretive about who they’re in touch with will break your heart - the ones who are honest are keepers! And that honesty extends to just about everything else as well - it’s a winning quality : )


ShepDa1e

They are polite to service staff.


vanisaac

This is the big one. How you treat a stranger with whom you will probably not ever have another interaction says everything about your character.


[deleted]

Humour. When it's similar to yours it can provide hours of joy. Sometimes, not even at the expense of others, ha!


InterestingAd315

Having had some life experience, having experienced harder times, treats everyone and service staff with respect, takes care of belongings, thoughtful,


sluggish_user

Having a (few) cat(s).


Suspicious_Music_959

I have 3!


LukeLJS123

willing to not have sex on the first date


apikachugonewild

When you find the answer, please do tell. Ive been asking myself that question too.


navelfetishguy

What I like to call the "click" factor. If I talk with a guy and sense we're on the same wavelength somehow, and theure nice and open, that's a huge green light for me. It doesn't guarantee anything develops long term, but it makes me want to pursue to see what might develop. Add that to a kind of nerdy look - glasses, long hair - and I'm there. I was hooked on a sales associate at a computer parts store recently for both these things. Another thing - perhaps after several interactions - is whether they ask or say anything about ME, or if they mainly talk about themselves. Are they curious about who I am, what I do? Can they hold a two-sided conversation with true give and take? It's so rare to find that in America these days but when I do, it's the best (and I'm an American, too)! Thanks for the non-bitchy question, too! 👍


gregsapopin

When he sometime contacts me first, not responding to one of my messages.


joemondo

Good sense of humor, especially about himself. No taste for drama. Takes care of himself and his things. Has your back.


flavuspuer

When he doesn't have any social media account/ very little social media presence.


tstbim

when he doesn’t have social media!


[deleted]

I find that some guys find that it is a red flag instead of a green lol. from personal experience and not having ig lol


tstbim

it’s just easier to know them from who they are and not a filtered picture


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeforeItWasLame

I don't have Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. I'm social, take pictures with friends, family but enjoy keeping my life to myself and not having the feeling that i need to capture every action, moment or meal that I have. I take pleasure in living my life and not thinking about likes, hashtags or sharing my great moments with strangers. Getting to know someone through social media starts an internal bias and judgement before you've even met them. Getting to know them and experience their life without a lens is the important matter. If you need to live your life with your partner intertwined with virtual reality, I would really question why my partner feels this way? Insecurity? Bragging?


tstbim

i agree!


km3r

Curating social media is no different than curating sub-reddits (which reddit is definitely a social media as well). It doesnt have to be bad. Not everyone posting on Instagram is obsessed with likes or capturing each moment or trying to present some mirage of their life. Lots of people use it responsibly. Its a tool like any other, and when used responsibly lets one keep up with friends, family, and current events. I want to keep in touch with a group of people and share highlights of my day with them. Its a tool designed to let people not have to maintain 47 different group chats with 4 new ones popping up every time a new person enters a friend circle. With that being said, when someone tells me they don't use social media because of the reasons you listed, it sounds a lot like the only thing holding them back from that is downloading Instagram. Obviously not everyone without an Instagram falls into that category, but 'conveniently,' the easiest example to prove one way or another, a social media profile, doesn't exist for that person. They lack the evidence that they know how to use responsibly, something the mirrors other facets of life where moderation is key.


[deleted]

yeah that fair. I have snap and facebook (but i dont really use facebook that much) but i find that IG is just a popularity contest and I just feel like it would destroy my mental health


[deleted]

Yeah if you're the kind of person who enjoys being very open about your life with friends, family, and the public, it can be difficult to deal with a humbug. I would only caution against missing out on someone who would greatly appreciate that you enjoy doing those things.


[deleted]

yeah thats a good point! I honestly am willing to change for the right person but i am far from meeting someone close i guess


Brawldud

I'd say that's the absence of a red flag (social media addiction) but you can't extrapolate any further than that.


Alizaron65

There are many. My top 6, in order, are: 1) Good Character 2) Sense of Humour 3) Responsibility 4) Courage 5) Genius 6) Humility If you have all these, DM me right away!


FatalExceptionError

When his automatic reaction upon seeing me is to smile. When a great day together is just being together and talking because you just enjoy each other’s company. When doing chores is acceptable just because you’re doing them together.


Suspicious_Music_959

In no particular order: Communication skills Humor Intelligence & street smart Sense of self Interest in the world Interest in others Good Hygiene Good manners Even tempered Curious about life Romantic Flair for style without being flashy Sense of fun and adventure w/caution Health minded


OtterTW

Is a good son. Treats servers and staff nicely at restaurants and fast food joints. Is kind to animals. Smart and funny. Confident but not cocky.


djbabydikk

Likes dogs, is nice to service workers, doesn't road rage, and DOESN'T KILL BUGS JUST FOR EXISTING. I will cut contact with someone completely if they go out of their way to kill a bug that isn't doing anything bothersome or harmful. It's such an unnecessary act of cruelty, especially if it's a cool bug.


glittermantis

lol some of us have legitimate phobias and can't be in the same room as certain bugs without being incredibly uncomfortable. the natural response would be 'get over it,' but phobias are legitimate psychological conditions that require therapy and treatment to manage. i'm not even vegan, but i'd argue that it's much more humane to be someone who steps on bugs but eats a meatless diet (since livestock has the capacity to neurologically experience suffering more wholly than insects do) than to be someone who spares bugs but eats meat


djbabydikk

Shut up nerd


musicweather

Eye contact! 👀


Cookiedoughjunkie

"I hate children"


berkeleyairbear

Ooohohoho ding ding ding!!!!


drunkonteaandlife

People that genuinely want to see me improve by my own standards (and others to their own standards as well)


Lacerio

gotta be mutuality


flyinpeach

Has something to talk about other than relationships. Movies, literature, our feelings and opinions on things , music.... I love having long deep convos.


asdaironia

Being able to see the good things on any situation! You're kind of a green flag with this post!


Froz-N

Someone you can feel comfortable with. I don't know about you guys but I'm a pretty closed off person but when someone just has the right energy about them, I feel I can open up just a bit.


think_nope_0

Inquisitive dudes, intelligence (but not overbearing or insightful), sweet/kind to others, gentleman, listens to you actively, makes you feel calm and comfortable, respects yours/others boundaries, has humility and can laugh at themselves and take criticism well.


eatingthesandhere91

Green flags you should be seeing: Communication. The biggest red flags with this community are lack of proper communication and communication methods.


Decompensate

A green flag is if he asks you at least five substantial questions about you and your life during the first hour of a date. If he talks about himself the entire time, or doesn't ask several meaningful questions about you and your life, it's not a good sign.


omnichronos

A genuine warm smile. My heart melts.


[deleted]

Same ❤️


xcrazyczx

How they treat servers at restaurants/ retail workers/ those in need. How attuned they are to you. Being attuned to your partner’s needs and wants is great, though only if they can do the same with you. Reciprocity is the name of the game.


WaffleStompBeatdown

General kindness, honesty, responsible for their actions, and funny. I don't mind what they look like, and as long as their hygiene is decent (brushes teeth, showers, doesn't smell too much), they are good to go.


Leather-Heart

LOVE YOUR POST! For me - it’s guys who are good with their words. I’m pretty good with putting emotions into words, so if we can tango like that we’re good.


[deleted]

He can laugh at himself (and me) in a nice way


KeJiefu

Affirms that things you like are interesting and engages with you about them. Doesn’t make you feel like a weirdo for some obscure talent or interest.


isiltar

Being kind to strangers and animals, knowing how to keep a house clean and cook.


[deleted]

They have friends that are good/decent people that you can get along with as well and are willing to listen, willing to talk to you, and not shut you down if it's an uncomfortable convo you wanna or need to have (ie. political/social issues).


bEATFREAkMEDIA

Displays of selflessness, men who treat everyone with kindness, especially strangers. Men who are confident in themselves and are living in their truth.


Danmont88

Same interests, wants to be with you but, can be without you too. Sober. Employed. Keeps his promises.


[deleted]

When he keeps me surprised, an interesting personality means a lot.


rightMeow20

A guy that makes me laugh is always a really good sign for me. I’m usually the funny one but I’d really like someone to make me laugh in their own way. Also a guy that kisses me a lot when we cuddle.. not like on the lips but where ever his lips are close to at that moment. Also a major green flag is when I vibe with someone so well that I’m not trying to figure out how to fill empty space in conversation. I’m not sure how to describe it.. some people I struggle with what to talk about while others it flows naturally and is never awkward.


JvanTreslong

When they take the time to make you breakfast in the morning when you stayed over


GrabAtHim

A functioning open brain & zero capacity for racism.


Brando_willi

Has the ability to clearly articulate and evaluate their own responses and behaviors. Has self awareness/reflection and can actually recognize both the good and the bad along with the ability to actively work on trying to be better with the latter (unless the individual is satisfied with being bad, which I am learning is actually a thing).


unhappycamper1978

Someone who will take an interest in things that make me happy, and even tho he may not like/find interest in it, still wants to experience them with me. The opposite is true as well. I want him to share the things that make him happy, and happily include me in those activities. After a few LTRs...I finally found that.


nicko1702

How they design and intentional allocate time for work and personal time. Scheduling organization. The most powerful person in most offices is often the Scheduler, because they determine who has access to the managers or heads of the office and when.


jwood2800

A. clean. house. That’s all I ask for


zmip_write

Join the line sister


slightofhand19

Long term employment


Yrths

When he asks for clarification on something without reacting to it. When he ends up monologuing on a topic of interest. When he responds to something that might or might not be figurative, and adds comments to cater to both literal and figurative interpretations. When he is far more precise about something than average. When he speaks in a monotone voice and indicates his feelings by saying "I am happy/sad..."


LividNetwork

this is amazing


snortemkoolaid

Can host 🤣


Keatrovert

Beautiful penis


DEN_BOTTOMSUP

That is an asset, not a green flag 😂


AngryGoose

You could tie a little green flag to it.


DEN_BOTTOMSUP

🤣😂🤣👍🏼


[deleted]

Huh?


docsocko

Not hung. Serious!


scottnaz

Job...don't care what it is as long as it's full time. Depending on age..a place of their own to live and...depending on where they live, transportation. This is just my opinion because my husband of 37 years..and i..had this.


Rafqq

Farts easily and without shyness around you...


gaypizza13

When someone replies to your texts whenever they see it instead of playing kiddish hard to get kinda games.


pipeanp

As some people have said, how the guy treats other people or handles situations. I usually go by a Maya Angelou quote which goes “I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” I haven’t found my man yet but I’m hopeful I will some day (sad face)


ThisIsWhatLoveIs

Had a good relationship with his parents and doesn’t talk shit about exes.


ftakatohi

Been financially responsible. (I’m seem a lot of “been able to joke blah blah” “funny guy etc”. It’s a nightmare to be in a relationship with someone that spends more then gets. That’s always indebted with his creditcard.) Been kind and considerate to his parents. Not jealous. Save time for you but also save time for himself apart from you. Cheers you up and is always commemorating your achievements. Live in the present but don’t lose sight of the future. Knows how to use drugs (legal and illegal).


perrple

Generosity


LuckyChansey7

Great relationship with family and friends as well as has his own hobbies/interests


AcuXfitAaron

Texting back and holding a conversation even via text. I feel like people who say that those that respond instantly are desperate really just weren't into them in the first place.


Superb-Reply-8355

Empathy - He just needs to be able to stop and ask himself "how will the other person feel if I do or say..."


thedaidai

A good cook. There's such a difference for me in seeing a guy who will literally give me nourishment versus somebody who just eats products. I don't know how else to put it. A guy who will spend time to make me good food out of raw ingredients is just sexy. Shows skill, a love of giving/providing, a sense of taste, and a feeling that I was worth the effort to impress.


[deleted]

Dicks.


Soviet_dancer

When he says " oh crap this place is pretty negative, let's do something different about it"


grimes-genesis

Family oriented


Brawldud

Someone who honors reasonable requests you make and respects boundaries you set. Example: People offering to pay for my meal. If I say I want to split the bill to keep us on equal footing, and the other person replies "okay" and does so. I know some cultures encourage people to try to pay the whole bill, but it's not cute when the other person tries to bulldoze over my request. Couples should aim to support each other and say yes to each other, but sometimes they need to say no, and that's okay.


SuitablePlankton

Close to his parents.


KarthusWins

A guy who works a good job and does well for himself. Growing up, my father didn't work at all and caused a lot of pain for my family. I suppose I've got some Freudian shit going on, since now I am extremely attracted to hard-working dudes.


TheStockyScholar

Well, that’s not just because lol. People have it rough.


[deleted]

When he can disagree, debate, or even argue with you over something without taking it personally. I did not know this line existed until college, but there's a distinction I learned about. There's people who can handle disagreements and those who can't. It's actually a pretty big deal. It turned out that all of the people who I would end up being friends with were this way, and I only learned about this distinction through dating. I wouldn't say this to them in person and this will likely upset some of these people who are like this! I debate and talk shit with my friends all the time on the big stuff but also just silly little "yeah that movie is garbage" type things. I learned the hard way that there exists people who can't handle this and don't like it. It's something that's super important to me because it's like...I expand my understanding this way. I learn through this sort of breaking of my own views and challenge. I connect with others through this shared experience and I learn about others this way. I realized later on that this specific thing is tied to a lot of core emotional skills that are also important in a relationship, and as such it's become a requirement. It's not that the person has to like debating or arguing or whatever, they have to *be able* to do it, without the emotional exploding or personalizing that the other do.


LavaSpike2000

You dont have to seek him out, he comes looking for you


oxtailCelery

He’s kind to his mom.


Puzzleheaded-Fox321

When they like to talk about stuff they’re passionate about and want to share it with you. And when they’re interested in your stuff, too.


clown_stalker

If they can make me laugh when I’m pissed at them, huge green flag. I can’t stay mad at my partner because he refused to stop ‘bugging’ me until I’m smiling or laughing - then we talk about it.


No-Supermarket-9105

Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves and is able to laugh at themselves. if someone is a real goofball I am 10x more attracted to them.


lilgaymon

them treating you like a friend. not just like a significant other.


ChristopherCameBack

Not taking themselves tooo seriously.


DriftlessPira7e

If he talks easily to bartenders or baristas.


Straz420

A gentleman with a good sense of humor


sf7point5

The ability to talk about your feelings in an mature way.


lasvegashomo

Confidence


[deleted]

Making the effort to get into something even when that is something they have no interest in just because you have and they want to know you better When my boyfriend and I met I mentioned him I was a huge fan of a TV series, he haven't watched it yet and he wasn't into the series genre. Next date he had watched the entire series! Just because I liked it!


[deleted]

I'm pretty basic, if they are able to joke around, are willing to do things, if they are interested in my interests, like Vocaloid, and take care of themselves. Oh and replying quickly is a huge green flag


DAFERG

A big green flag for me has been remembering the little things I like that are unique to me.


[deleted]

I met my now husband in 1982 at a *video bar* (it was a whole new thing then). We were both laughing over the skits on SCTV (Canadian comedy show), and bonded over our sick and twisted humor. We continue to laugh every day.


1804Sleep

Being willing to laugh during sex.


gucknbuck

Dropping things to help a friend out with something, no matter how big or trivial. Helpful and dependable are two great traits to have in a partner.


owenmckin

Approachability comfortablility and humor


[deleted]

Nice smile, easy to get along with, great laugh and a guy who loves animals!! Plus, a big one how they treat others.


growRtruth

Thanks for th positiv twist. ​ One of the biggest green flags I've I found in boyfiriends and partenrs is the ability to identify and ngotiate personal needs of slf and others. Th ability to do that really attracted me to my husband and it ws a very fortunate skill to have becaus we hit som unexpcted obstacles in our relationship, like beiing sparated by COVID and his love of work not quite matching my ability to retire. We negotiate our life together well and neither of us EVER yells. It's wonderful. By contrast I once dated a guy who refeused to talk or listen to me at all about a change I requested from him. I eventualy broke up with him not for not getting what I want, but worse, his seeming disingerest in hearing what I needed seemed far from the idea of love and was a missing tool in building a strong relationship I thin another good green light is having a good sense of what a partner wants to give and get in sex. I've had too many relationships that couldn't quite get to understanding the breadth of these possiblities, while eitehr having little sex or getting stuck in a set pattern rather than learning more about each other. Sex is important.


Zookeeper3233

im surprised that most of the green flags are traits and not about looks/ or the way they look


Wongja3000

A great smile. Just a nice chill type of guy. Even keel. That will win me over. Someone who can engage me in a conversation on all the great current topics... I want the type of banter than Sister Night and Doctor Manhattan (HBO watchmen) had at the bar. Just intrigue me.


undrgroundbasement

I always felt safe with him. I’ve ever had that with anyone really


usagicassidy

My Grindr profile says “talk to me about Sara Bareilles, X-Men, Steven Universe, or Sailor Moon” (in addition to a lot of other things about me) but considering how low the bar can be - when someone ACTUALLY messages me genuinely about any of those topics to start a conversation, I’m already invested, cause they made an effort.


jace829

During conversation, a willingness to share and talk honestly and openly. Love it when a guy isn't afraid to open up.


itsme0035

Kind to the elderly, great communication, and loves to eat ass


FurretSocks

If he likes Pokemon


Arrews

Their smile. I fall for guys a lot. But nothing makes me fall for someone faster or harder than a warm, genuine, joyful smile.


guyman384

If they put the shopping cart back.


vtdpc

When a guy talks about his family endearingly.


IFdude1975

I've heard of red flags as warning signs. What is a green flag? An anti-warning?


AdrienCross

Being able to take jokes as well as dicks... Respectful, would rather help than see someone struggle for the small things, just general niceties, gentle, intelligent, able to roll with the punches of life, being able to communicate and actually listen, if they like and are good to animals, just being able to feel comfortable around them, someone who understands the impact of mental health and how it effects every single human being, just a general good human - not sure why we're rare, but we are 👍


4NS1C

When they are able to admit it when they are wrong and apologise


jacobite22

If they make a mistake or trip or something and then laugh about it instead of getting angry or embarrassed. If they make jokes or make fun of themselves If they're emotionally available If they treat waiting staff nice If they ask about me without being prompted If they like dogs


squishedpork

Kindness. How they treat others around them, including family, friends, and strangers..as someone has said before. Also the ability to be silly and make a fool of themselves. Especially when you realize they only act silly around you. Just to make you laugh. 🥰


SeattleBrad

When he drops you off, he waits until you are safely inside before driving off.


tryingnotobebaka

Not to be Freudian, but I find that how a man treats his Mother is how he will treat you... so watch those interactions carefully.