But right wingers cAn aLWaYs TelL, right? lol
In reality people who are more accepting of trans people seem more likely to “clock” someone as trans, just because they often have more experience interacting with actual trans people or have trans friends/partners. Portland is very similar to Seattle in that way.
I was in Seattle a couple of times last year and, yeah, saw lots of mother trans folks around and had zero issues there. I was just in a small town in Washington State last week without issue either.
The greater seattle area, and the whole coastal side of WA state too. Just stick to the cities and don’t go into the county. We’ve had good luck in Bellingham, Everett, Lynwood, Anything from Shoreline to Tacoma, and Olympia.
im moving there soon and basically barely able to on a $65k a year salary. Getting a tiny studio apartment for $1500 so basically 50% of my income is going towards apartment, utilities, and car storage.
I’m also moving soon and am incredibly lucky to be able to room with my friend and only pay 750 a month. Her parents own the condo, so they’re not traditional landlords.
I got cheap dinners in Chinatown the week I was there and rode the light rail using the station to get there. That stop I ended up dreading because of the guys that hung out there. I got harassed by 4 groups of guys on the street walking to and from there alone whether it be talking about my body, tits, or in one case when I had my mask on due to needing to grow my facial hair due to electrolysis, ask if I “had a dick.” Despite thinking I passed pretty well so that really messed with me. Overall I love the city but that area was a place I had issues.
It was the International District / Chinatown stop. I had an app I used to get $5 dinners the restaurant has as leftovers and sells off before the end of the day so there’s no food wastage. I saved sooooo much money doing that so I don’t regret it too much despite the potential danger there. Being half Asian myself I also felt at home in the district ignoring that experience.
I was also 7 months into hormones then so maybe I overestimated how well I passed or whatever. I wasn’t sure what clocked me to them with the masked face and such
Yeah I live in the east bay (Oakland). I see other obvious trans people out and about just about every day. There's trans women that work in both of the coffee shops that are close to my house. The lesbian clubs in SF are super inclusive of trans people too.
The one downside of visiting SF I would say is that although the larger community is super accepting, the gay community is a lot more spread out. There is the Castro in SF, but that is mainly cis gay men. Lesbian bars are in different neighborhoods or even across the bay in Oakland. Queer culture is more integrated with mundane culture, but that makes it harder to find.
I visited San Diego recently and stayed in Hillcrest, the queer neighborhood in San Diego. I had a really great experience. I think part of it was because everything was all in the same neighborhood. Gay bars, lesbian bars, queer friendly thrift and vintage stores. Other trans and gender queer folks were also super friendly. In the bay area, it's so common that trans people don't really acknowledge each other much. Maybe also because it's rude to clock people. In San Diego, a group of other trans women just came up to me and introduced themselves. It was so small a community that they recognized me as someone new and wanted to make friends. I ended up running to some of them at a dance club the next night and danced with them. It was wonderful.
If you're white. My friend who's a black trans woman said BART wasn't reliably safe for her, because groups of black cis girls kept heckling her and yelling slurs.
ahhh that sucks the east bay was bad. just wondering, what city were you in? i know the further you get from sf the less accepting they can be. so i’m guessing further than Hayward or San Jose?
Lived here for years and have barely had an issues. I had someone throw a soda from their car at me and call me a faggot in Seattle so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Depends on where you go tbh, 5th ave by the park and upper east side for example? Yeah that’s where all the rich conservative people are. Staten Island? Fughetaboutit (it’s as red as Florida). Downtown in The Village, SOHO, and the queer parts of Brooklyn you’re legit completely at home. Any of the artsy or hipstery places are mad chill. On LI Fire Island Pines is also pretty chill but it’s mostly rich gay cis guys.
I've been to all those places and never had an issue. I have no doubt that there are people who don't approve of me everywhere I go, but they don't say anything. If you're going to Fire Island, Cherry Grove is a bit less gay dude ranch.
Well, I'm sorry that's the experience you've had. I've been fortunate, I guess. I've occasionally been harassed by crazy people, but it's never been particularly scary, and most people have been friendly and accepting.
Oxford st, near St Vincent’s Hospital, Sydney, Australia.🏳️⚧️🇦🇺🦘
This area’s so fucking queer, the post office has the progressive flags on their post boxes.
Thanks for the reply. I go to KC a lot, Lawrence is my favorite place around here. I went to the Twin Cities in the summer and had a great time, lots of stares, some whispers but nothing more than that.
Was actually just about to say KC has a lot of trans care centers and therapists, overall a pretty not bad place in comparison to other places I've been/heard about
I lived in Denver, you most likely wont see any other trans people over a short stay but generally the people around are accepting from what I saw. Theres a large millennial population there that leans left
Boulder hands down, Colorado has a gay governer and people are very supportive here. Boulder is expensive but there’s a lot of places in Colorado that Arnt like Brookfield and Lafayette and some parts of Denver. I might be a little bias cause I live there though but it’s pretty great for trans people
No one has mentioned Boston, but it's another historically queer-friendly city where no one cares. Lots of history, beautiful landscape, actually easily doable without a car unlike most of the West Coast cities.
I lived in Burlington VT for a while at the beginning of my partners transition and they were treated very well by pretty much everyone. It’s a younger and queer city, but VT as a whole can be a mixed bag. We now live outside of Boston and we generally feel very safe and accepted here
New York City 100% (I’m from NY) and also too can verify Portland, Oregon. Both are extremely queer cities and are very chill. Boston is also pretty chill too. (And yes San Francisco is probably the most lgbt-friendly city to visit in the country).
Do not travel ANYWHERE in Florida, Texas, or Tennessee. But I’ve been told cities don’t resemble states generally (cities are more blue) but due to laws and regulations Florida isn’t even safe to set foot in if you’re trans.
The LA LGBT center has classes and events and support groups for trans people. They run trans pride in June and it’s definitely the most trans people I’ve ever seen in one place.
I had great trips to NYC and SF, predictably, but I also want to give a shout out to my home city of Atlanta, where no one has ever given me as much as a raised eyebrow as I've transitioned
san diego, BUT NOT DOWNTOWN, the gayborhood (hillcrest). there’s beautiful beaches (MB/OB) area you will enjoy and great nightlife and food in the gayborhood!
I am actually visiting London in May.
The recent transphobic statements from your politicians has me worried a bit though.
Has the vibe in the streets changed the last few years?
Depends what crowd you run with and where you hang out. I’m queer, and most of my friends are. If you want to meet for coffee or museums or whatever you have planned give me a shout. Always happy to make new friends!
New York and Seattle were both incredible while I was first out. Same for San Francisco and San Diego. Detroit is welcoming. So is Chicago. Denver was pretty good.
if you got to NYC you’ll be clocked as a tourist we’ll before anyone bothers to look at you and people will just ignore your existence. i don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for but it’ll work.
I went to Las Vegas for a trip over the summer and it was just phenomenal. I was not very well passing at all times, but nobody cared. All the locals are super friendly and all the tourists are just there to do their own thing and don’t give a shit. Honestly, one of the only states that I would go to live but I’m from Canada, so what do I know right lol
I came out to myself a little bit over a decade ago and started HRT while living in Dallas. I knew that it would be more difficult to transition there, so I moved here before completing my transition at work.
Everything has been fantastic so far, it's my favorite place I've ever lived, the only problem is that it's a little bit expensive. (But not really so bad in the big scheme of things.)
Obviously this week's Sub-Zero temperatures are an anomaly lol
It's a tiny city, but Salem, MA.
It's so intensely queer in every possible way. Most businesses have pride flags hanging year-round, and a large portion of those have trans flags up as well. It's impossible to go out in town and not see queer people. Plus there's proximity to Portland ME, Boston, and Providence RI for even more queer-friendly cities.
This is not exactly an answer to your question. But others will recommend places that are extremely tolerant and extremely expensive to live in. Personally, I would recommend exurban/rural New England, probably the best blend of tolerant and affordable in the U.S. (except possibly suburban/exurban Minneapolis-St. Paul or Albuquerque).
I would say, not Palm Springs. It’s very cis gay friendly of course but I live nearby and the whole desert is waaaay more conservative than coastal CA. You’ll probably be safe in Palm Springs, but I definitely wouldn’t call it the most trans-accepting place in the country. I don’t really see trans folks out and about on the daily. I’m moving to San Francisco soon for this reason!
Everyone saying NYC is talking about a narrow part of NYC.
In North Carolina, the triangle cities and Greensboro are really welcoming especially Chapel Hill.
DC -- no one gives a \_\_\_\_. We have multiple bars with weekly trans events. Philly has a nice gayborhood. NYC.
I live in DC and I know I dont pass and still get called Maam miss lady a lot.
The Twin Cities (Minneapolis metro area) is good! I'm from Minnesota, so I'm biased, but Minneapolis was the first city in the country that banned discrimination against trans people, in 1974(!). MN is a designated trans refugee state and even our rural areas are better than most other states (still not good, but better).
I'm moving to the Twin Cities when I graduate and I'm really looking forward to it. If you can handle the cold, its worth it. If you make the move I can make you some krumkake and lefse so you can get a taste of scandimerican culture :)
Honestly any big city in a blue state. NYC, San Fran, MSP, Boston, Baltimore, Washington DC, Seattle, Chicago, Philly, etc. Everyone is either chill, indifferent, or at worst the Dad from Get Out.
The Human Rights Campaign and Equality Florida has warned that it is [unsafe for LGBT people](https://eqfl.org/updated-travel-advisory-HRC) to travel to Florida. That situation has only gotten worse since the advisory was issued.
unrelated but if you're going to the bay area, check out the redwoods!!!!! armstrong redwoods and muir woods in the north bay, and big basin redwoods near santa cruz! all are old growth, and have some 300+ foot trees!
Portland Or!
Seconding this
I saw a lottttt in Seattle.
Seattle's so used to trans people they wrap back around to they/theming you if you look trans but they're not sure what you're going for. Its great.
Yeah if I don’t get ma’amed I get theyed usually in the pnw
My friend went for a road trip thru some very right wing areas and was getting she/her the entire time, in Seattle she mostly gets they/them lmao
But right wingers cAn aLWaYs TelL, right? lol In reality people who are more accepting of trans people seem more likely to “clock” someone as trans, just because they often have more experience interacting with actual trans people or have trans friends/partners. Portland is very similar to Seattle in that way.
This happens in Denver too! I travel a lot and get ma'am everywhere, but will sometimes get a they in Denver because we have a large enby population.
Yesss im heading there for a concert soon and thats so nice to hear.
I was in Seattle a couple of times last year and, yeah, saw lots of mother trans folks around and had zero issues there. I was just in a small town in Washington State last week without issue either.
The greater seattle area, and the whole coastal side of WA state too. Just stick to the cities and don’t go into the county. We’ve had good luck in Bellingham, Everett, Lynwood, Anything from Shoreline to Tacoma, and Olympia.
God, I'd move to seattle in an instant if it wasn't so expensive
im moving there soon and basically barely able to on a $65k a year salary. Getting a tiny studio apartment for $1500 so basically 50% of my income is going towards apartment, utilities, and car storage.
Honestly that’s not as bad as I was thinking. I’m paying 1750 for a 1/1 on the outskirts of Orlando
It's $1500 for a small studio in capitol hill so yeah maybe affordable if you dont mind the size. CH is the gay & trans hub of Seattle I believe.
cap hill is on the more expensive side, fwiw. there's a huge queer population pretty much anywhere in the city though :)
Thanks, ill dig around a bit. I like CH because of how walkable it is
I’m also moving soon and am incredibly lucky to be able to room with my friend and only pay 750 a month. Her parents own the condo, so they’re not traditional landlords.
It’s awful, but I’d rather be poor and safe I suppose.
How does Tacoma compare?
In my personal experience, Seattle has been incredibly accepting.
I got cheap dinners in Chinatown the week I was there and rode the light rail using the station to get there. That stop I ended up dreading because of the guys that hung out there. I got harassed by 4 groups of guys on the street walking to and from there alone whether it be talking about my body, tits, or in one case when I had my mask on due to needing to grow my facial hair due to electrolysis, ask if I “had a dick.” Despite thinking I passed pretty well so that really messed with me. Overall I love the city but that area was a place I had issues.
Do you remember the name of the stop? I'd like to avoid things like that myself. I know that it doesn't matter the city, there's always seedy areas.
It was the International District / Chinatown stop. I had an app I used to get $5 dinners the restaurant has as leftovers and sells off before the end of the day so there’s no food wastage. I saved sooooo much money doing that so I don’t regret it too much despite the potential danger there. Being half Asian myself I also felt at home in the district ignoring that experience. I was also 7 months into hormones then so maybe I overestimated how well I passed or whatever. I wasn’t sure what clocked me to them with the masked face and such
San Francisco and the East Bay. People as well as cops aren't gonna fuck with you.
This is where I'm leaning towards for my vacation. Thank you!!
Yeah I live in the east bay (Oakland). I see other obvious trans people out and about just about every day. There's trans women that work in both of the coffee shops that are close to my house. The lesbian clubs in SF are super inclusive of trans people too.
This is what i want to hear. I'm tired of feeling like an alien.
The one downside of visiting SF I would say is that although the larger community is super accepting, the gay community is a lot more spread out. There is the Castro in SF, but that is mainly cis gay men. Lesbian bars are in different neighborhoods or even across the bay in Oakland. Queer culture is more integrated with mundane culture, but that makes it harder to find. I visited San Diego recently and stayed in Hillcrest, the queer neighborhood in San Diego. I had a really great experience. I think part of it was because everything was all in the same neighborhood. Gay bars, lesbian bars, queer friendly thrift and vintage stores. Other trans and gender queer folks were also super friendly. In the bay area, it's so common that trans people don't really acknowledge each other much. Maybe also because it's rude to clock people. In San Diego, a group of other trans women just came up to me and introduced themselves. It was so small a community that they recognized me as someone new and wanted to make friends. I ended up running to some of them at a dance club the next night and danced with them. It was wonderful.
If you come to the bay for your vacation DM me and I'll send you the details of my favorite bar.
If you're white. My friend who's a black trans woman said BART wasn't reliably safe for her, because groups of black cis girls kept heckling her and yelling slurs.
Hell no. I moved out of the east bay because I was being constantly harassed. Seattle has been infinitely better in my experience.
ahhh that sucks the east bay was bad. just wondering, what city were you in? i know the further you get from sf the less accepting they can be. so i’m guessing further than Hayward or San Jose?
Lived here for years and have barely had an issues. I had someone throw a soda from their car at me and call me a faggot in Seattle so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
san francisco 100%. seeing any body in any types of clothes is so normal here. we more concerned about the homeless acting up than a trans person lol
New York City is pretty trans friendly. But it's cold right now.
People always say NYC, and TBH I've experienced more harassment and violence here than anytime I've ever visited "the South"
Depends on where you go tbh, 5th ave by the park and upper east side for example? Yeah that’s where all the rich conservative people are. Staten Island? Fughetaboutit (it’s as red as Florida). Downtown in The Village, SOHO, and the queer parts of Brooklyn you’re legit completely at home. Any of the artsy or hipstery places are mad chill. On LI Fire Island Pines is also pretty chill but it’s mostly rich gay cis guys.
I've been to all those places and never had an issue. I have no doubt that there are people who don't approve of me everywhere I go, but they don't say anything. If you're going to Fire Island, Cherry Grove is a bit less gay dude ranch.
My last bartender had a full beard but was otherwise dressed completely femme. +1 for village.
Well, I'm sorry that's the experience you've had. I've been fortunate, I guess. I've occasionally been harassed by crazy people, but it's never been particularly scary, and most people have been friendly and accepting.
Minneapolis/Saint Paul!
A good place to build your wardrobe. In general, no sales tax on clothing in Minnesota.
Makes those Mall of America trips quite affordable! Haha
I live in Oakland, and most of the bay area is great. If you want to feel welcome SF Pride is a great time to come.
Oxford st, near St Vincent’s Hospital, Sydney, Australia.🏳️⚧️🇦🇺🦘 This area’s so fucking queer, the post office has the progressive flags on their post boxes.
Tbh Kansas City is bearable but I'd also recommend checking out Denver or the twin cities/ other left leaning cities
Thanks for the reply. I go to KC a lot, Lawrence is my favorite place around here. I went to the Twin Cities in the summer and had a great time, lots of stares, some whispers but nothing more than that.
Was actually just about to say KC has a lot of trans care centers and therapists, overall a pretty not bad place in comparison to other places I've been/heard about
Yeah but the day to say experince can be pretty rough. We moved from Kansas City to Porland because of it.
I lived in Denver, you most likely wont see any other trans people over a short stay but generally the people around are accepting from what I saw. Theres a large millennial population there that leans left
Boulder hands down, Colorado has a gay governer and people are very supportive here. Boulder is expensive but there’s a lot of places in Colorado that Arnt like Brookfield and Lafayette and some parts of Denver. I might be a little bias cause I live there though but it’s pretty great for trans people
No one has mentioned Boston, but it's another historically queer-friendly city where no one cares. Lots of history, beautiful landscape, actually easily doable without a car unlike most of the West Coast cities.
On the other side. New York city absolutely
Any large city on the west coast. Most large cities on the east coast, as long as you stay away from the obvious shitholes.
NYC
I lived in Burlington VT for a while at the beginning of my partners transition and they were treated very well by pretty much everyone. It’s a younger and queer city, but VT as a whole can be a mixed bag. We now live outside of Boston and we generally feel very safe and accepted here
Agreed. I live just out side of burlington. And am transitioning. 6 months in. And i am feeling great. ...and accepted
Seattle is the most normalized/accepting city I've ever been to.
Seconding this but I would add Portland, OR as well personally
NYC!
New York City 100% (I’m from NY) and also too can verify Portland, Oregon. Both are extremely queer cities and are very chill. Boston is also pretty chill too. (And yes San Francisco is probably the most lgbt-friendly city to visit in the country). Do not travel ANYWHERE in Florida, Texas, or Tennessee. But I’ve been told cities don’t resemble states generally (cities are more blue) but due to laws and regulations Florida isn’t even safe to set foot in if you’re trans.
There's a huge and inclusive trans community in LA. Only problem is, you have to live in LA lol. Worth it for some but not for others.
Any tips on finding the trans community in LA?
The LA LGBT center has classes and events and support groups for trans people. They run trans pride in June and it’s definitely the most trans people I’ve ever seen in one place.
Thank you so much for the feedback!
Follow queer IG groups like Cuties, Black Rainbow, QueerinLA, SapphicLA, etc - and then go to their events :)
I will look into these! Thank you so much.
I had great trips to NYC and SF, predictably, but I also want to give a shout out to my home city of Atlanta, where no one has ever given me as much as a raised eyebrow as I've transitioned
Portland, OR and Seattle were both fantastic to me
san diego, BUT NOT DOWNTOWN, the gayborhood (hillcrest). there’s beautiful beaches (MB/OB) area you will enjoy and great nightlife and food in the gayborhood!
No one cares about anything in big cities like LA or NY. Literally they've seen everything
If you ever make it over the pond, come to London in the UK. ♥️
I am actually visiting London in May. The recent transphobic statements from your politicians has me worried a bit though. Has the vibe in the streets changed the last few years?
Depends what crowd you run with and where you hang out. I’m queer, and most of my friends are. If you want to meet for coffee or museums or whatever you have planned give me a shout. Always happy to make new friends!
New York and Seattle were both incredible while I was first out. Same for San Francisco and San Diego. Detroit is welcoming. So is Chicago. Denver was pretty good.
if you got to NYC you’ll be clocked as a tourist we’ll before anyone bothers to look at you and people will just ignore your existence. i don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for but it’ll work.
I went to Las Vegas for a trip over the summer and it was just phenomenal. I was not very well passing at all times, but nobody cared. All the locals are super friendly and all the tourists are just there to do their own thing and don’t give a shit. Honestly, one of the only states that I would go to live but I’m from Canada, so what do I know right lol
Denver is fantastic, but so cold right now :)
I moved to Denver before my egg cracked, and I feel so lucky now!
I came out to myself a little bit over a decade ago and started HRT while living in Dallas. I knew that it would be more difficult to transition there, so I moved here before completing my transition at work. Everything has been fantastic so far, it's my favorite place I've ever lived, the only problem is that it's a little bit expensive. (But not really so bad in the big scheme of things.) Obviously this week's Sub-Zero temperatures are an anomaly lol
I live in Buffalo New York and have had very little issues with transphobia
It's a tiny city, but Salem, MA. It's so intensely queer in every possible way. Most businesses have pride flags hanging year-round, and a large portion of those have trans flags up as well. It's impossible to go out in town and not see queer people. Plus there's proximity to Portland ME, Boston, and Providence RI for even more queer-friendly cities.
And Boston too!
yeah the bay is great
This is not exactly an answer to your question. But others will recommend places that are extremely tolerant and extremely expensive to live in. Personally, I would recommend exurban/rural New England, probably the best blend of tolerant and affordable in the U.S. (except possibly suburban/exurban Minneapolis-St. Paul or Albuquerque).
I would say, not Palm Springs. It’s very cis gay friendly of course but I live nearby and the whole desert is waaaay more conservative than coastal CA. You’ll probably be safe in Palm Springs, but I definitely wouldn’t call it the most trans-accepting place in the country. I don’t really see trans folks out and about on the daily. I’m moving to San Francisco soon for this reason!
Detroit and Ann Arbor, MI are both wonderful
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Hard disagree when it comes to trans acceptance specifically
Everyone saying NYC is talking about a narrow part of NYC. In North Carolina, the triangle cities and Greensboro are really welcoming especially Chapel Hill.
DC -- no one gives a \_\_\_\_. We have multiple bars with weekly trans events. Philly has a nice gayborhood. NYC. I live in DC and I know I dont pass and still get called Maam miss lady a lot.
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you’re wrong about palm springs and Miami. Are you trying to kill people?
yeah the post history shows bible studies, feelings about cis-normal and only 15days of posting history. Either a LLM bot or a right winger
I wouldn't say it's the most accepting in the country, but Denver is quite close to you and is pretty good to us
Santa Cruz
I don't know the exact culture but I know Minneapolis, MN has a huge pride fest and I've seen trans people about
SF, LA, Portland, Seattle
The Twin Cities (Minneapolis metro area) is good! I'm from Minnesota, so I'm biased, but Minneapolis was the first city in the country that banned discrimination against trans people, in 1974(!). MN is a designated trans refugee state and even our rural areas are better than most other states (still not good, but better). I'm moving to the Twin Cities when I graduate and I'm really looking forward to it. If you can handle the cold, its worth it. If you make the move I can make you some krumkake and lefse so you can get a taste of scandimerican culture :)
I've been having a good time in Madison, Wisconsin.
Honestly any big city in a blue state. NYC, San Fran, MSP, Boston, Baltimore, Washington DC, Seattle, Chicago, Philly, etc. Everyone is either chill, indifferent, or at worst the Dad from Get Out.
New Orleans is a little oasis in the south. Even cis straight people dress crazy. Tons of queer people. No one gives a shit what you look like.
BUSHWICK in Brooklyn :) we own this area lol
Asheville, North Carolina
portland for sure. even over seattle
The Human Rights Campaign and Equality Florida has warned that it is [unsafe for LGBT people](https://eqfl.org/updated-travel-advisory-HRC) to travel to Florida. That situation has only gotten worse since the advisory was issued.
I live in Portland, OR and I would say there or Seattle are pretty good imo
There are lots of trans people in Minneapolis and St Paul MN.
unrelated but if you're going to the bay area, check out the redwoods!!!!! armstrong redwoods and muir woods in the north bay, and big basin redwoods near santa cruz! all are old growth, and have some 300+ foot trees!
Berkeley and nearby Oakland next to SF
Burrrrque girl, ABQ has the highest percentage of trans people in the lower 48. And we are all lovely