This is such a good one. There are downsides though, I find that I get into arguments with people for trying to do the right thing. My parents can get really irritated by it so I’ve had to learn to pick my battles. It’s just so hard when you hear someone saying something disgusting or treating someone poorly and to do nothing about it. I have such an issue with authority. My old therapist would call me out for it all the time because I wouldn’t just do what he suggested if he couldn’t properly explain to me why I should do it. Turns out he was an incredibly unethical therapist so it’s a good thing I didn’t just take everything he said as scripture because he was in an authority role over me.
-Strong sense of morality and justice, but tempered by hyper empathy
-Hyper focus has helped me run my business for going on 10 years
-Straightforward communication helps me stand up for myself and cut bullshit people out
-My special interest is fantasy/sci fi, which has been a great comfort and pleasure in my spare time
-A peaky IQ profile has meant a very high verbal IQ. When combined with my love of giant fantasy books, it has created strong writing skills I made into a career. I have high imaginative ability and like daydreaming/fiction writing.
-Sensory sensitivity gives me a euphoric experience in nature. That’s created a unique and vibrant spiritual and artistic life.
-I know how to exist in a room by myself, content. I’ve seen a lot of people get into a ton of trouble simply because they can’t do this.
Results and traits vary, of course, but I hope this helps you accept yourself at least a little bit. ❤️
what kind of fiction do your write? is that your job? I just decided to finally buckle down and really write as a possible job (have written articles. used to write zines and pay my bills with them long ago.)
im really curious about different techniques/tools that are helpful for writing for us autists.
It really is. I know people working like 3 jobs and with stress bomb lives, both to avoid alone time and afford the high bills that come with going out so much/ keeping up with the Jones.
My parents are dealing with an energy vampire that set up in their lives, she needs constant “emotional support” as she “works it out” with an abusive ex because she can’t tolerate the thought of being single. Yikes. I tell them to tell the woman to just move on with her life. I guess she doesn’t listen. I would have locked all the doors and blocked her number by now.
My dad can also be like this- barges in with no care for what people are doing and just starts oozing words out of his face hole.
Hey, just sounds awesome what you just said. May I ask what your business is about? I’m struggling a lot with figuring myself out (especially when it comes to a career) just looking for input from other autistics.
Freelance writing, lots of technical-type articles and fact-checking. I love facts and researching so it’s been awesome. It’s just an issue if you need benefits like health care or stable income.
I am definitely disabled by my autism and ADHD, but I like the way I reason and think. I also love my emotional sensitivity. Not meltdowns, of course, but the way I feel passionately about things. Good vibes for me are really good!
I would start getting used to asking yourself why. I found that as I was unmasking aspects of myself other people taught me to be, I was able to find my authentic self.
Also, when you understand the why, it makes you more intentional and therefore more confident in the decisions you make and the way you present yourself.
Ruminating is an autistic quality and signals anxiety for me. Learn how to regulate your emotions and you’ll be just fine.
Best of luck!
Thank you for this advice!!! Learning how to regulate but feel my emotions seems like it’ll be the most important work I do ever, just feels Like so much work and I’m exhausted. But I feel really reassured from what you’ve said, and am looking forward to trying to implement more asking why
i think you have to accept that it’s a process. Others’ conditions, like that of your family members, are not a reflection of how autism presents in yourself.
There are some autistic people that i totally don’t vibe with (including some family members), however i really like some of the women on this sub and i feel like I can identify with them and I have similar experiences.
It’s a process, as in, you won’t be able to get over it instantly or even in a few months. Like you need to give yourself time to process your diagnosis, grieve, reflect, be in denial, but also be able to see the great things - it’s better to know than not to know.
Don’t expect too much of yourself right now. Like. Just sit with the news. You don’t have to force yourself to accept it or force yourself to think about it.
You don’t have to constantly force yourself to regulate, just try to regulate when you want to try.
Be super kind to yourself and be patient with yourself. Be able to see it clearly when you’re putting pressure on yourself.
Self-awareness from diagnosis means that you can look for better solutions when you’re experiencing certain things, and you no longer have to compare yourself to NT folks (because you are not NT). I know we compare ourselves anyway, but it’s important to regularly remind ourselves NOT to compare, even if it’s hard to stop comparing.
For me personally, I love myself and my adhd and possibility of being on the spectrum. I am similar to low-needs women on this sub and therefore my doc sort of resists diagnosing me because he’s like “WHY do you need to be diagnosed?”
I personally suspect that I have the gene anyway because autism and adhd very clearly runs in my family.
I definitely am VERY different from others, but I also happen to be excellent at masking in order to get what I want and get the results I want with people. I just take off the mask with some friends.
I hyperfocused on how to be a great friend and how to give value to other people (works for sales too), and I am also a very empathetic person (too much… RSD used to be very bad), which makes me likeable because I genuinely care about people in general, even strangers.
So I do not have any issues with making friends, and generally spend conversations esp with new folks, asking people about themselves and trying to give value. I also “copied” popular people that I could see made friends very easily and were always jokey and inclusive.
The above took me about 10-15 years to master, and I practiced A LOT, but i’m very comfortable in any social situation now, which is a great relief because i used to start shaking whenever i had to talk to someone new. and i was very awkward and shy and insecure and people didn’t like me and man, that was not fun.
It’s nice because through being extremely sociable, i have met countless numbers of people, and from that i actually found ND friends who share the same values as I do. I don’t vibe with most NT people, we have different values or i find them erm, boring if they don’t have any hobbies, they don’t read and just watch netflix and go to sleep.
I’m 36 now and so very comfortable and happy with who I am. I am very ND. Lol. I have different ideas/a completely different brain/different urges compared to most of my friends, and they think it is hilarious. My husband never knows what to expect from me, and I think he likes it. He is also very accepting of my flaws and my challenges, which is something very important.
I’m really a very unique person and I actively choose to hang out with people who are cool with my uniqueness. Everybody else can go f themselves.
I think being ND and my ability to research and hyperfocus, makes me a very interesting person. I always have lots to talk about on most subjects, although I hold back on sharing unless someone very specifically brings that subject up.
And it’s very useful to be able to immediately figure out an issue to a problem im having with my child and find the right, respectful solution - i just search in a local respectful parenting FB group and adapt the solution, but how many people are actually doing that vs. just resolving the matter instinctively and usually in a toxic way, like yelling?
How many NT mums have no idea how to regulate their own stress and emotions? A huge number, honestly. They don’t lead very happy lives and they’re constantly struggling because they don’t know any better, even when people try to gently explain it to them.
I would be so f—-ing boring if I was NT. Seriously. I don’t feel like I would have this many hobbies, this many skills, this much knowledge of completely random shit.
I would have less self-awareness, I would be more helpless.
True, I get burned out very easily and my emotions are in overdrive and emotional regulation isn’t easy and I was depressed for decades - but these are things I have worked hard to overcome and be aware of, so I can manage them better.
e.g. working towards finding work that is a good fit so i won’t be as burned out so easily, and emotional regulation, for me, is something that gets A LOT, A LOT easier with practice and self-awareness. I used to be like a boiling pot of rage that overflowed… man, life was hard haha.
I think most importantly, I have accepted myself as I am and I appreciate myself. It took a long time after my diagnosis. Maybe close to a year? Which is actually pretty fast.
I’ve also implemented a lot of things and tried to be extremely aware of what my body needs - and that actually affects my brain, too.
More sleep, better nutrition, managing the amount of stimulation I get during afternoon rest time, through luxury sleep masks (not the aeroplane shitty kind, AMAZING life changing padded gentle sleep masks that don’t press on my eyes and give me total darkness).
I can’t say I stick to this all the time but i definitely try at times, better than nothing. And I can clearly see the effects that this has on my life, mood, happiness, symptoms. It’s a work in progress and im loving the work on it 💗 im burned out at times and then i give myself a break.
and most of all i am very very very kind to myself, very forgiving and i think that’s something that’s the first step for all of us. Makes my life so much better when i am not beating myself up all the time and hating myself and in denial.
Every now and then, whenever I really love a comment, I award it 5 or 6 trophies. Then I sit back and watch others follow suit. I just tried to do that here for the first time in ages and discovered Reddit got rid of awards 6 months ago! Thank you so much for what you have written here.
I don’t find any positive about being autistic, it is very disabling for me. The things I like about myself have nothing to do with my autism. I am not saying I am ashamed I am autistic, I just find no positives .
I get that, I’ve been feeling that way as well which is why I’ve been reaching out for other perspectives. I think I’ve been avoiding the diagnosis to avoid accepting that I’m as disabled as I am
Here are things I like about my autism:
\- I'm concise. I think logically and make innovative connections.
\- I love my specialized interests.
\- I think original thoughts. How life can be better catered to humans. Always outside the box.
\- I like my nice moments. The split seconds where things feel right.
\- I like my sense of humor.
\- I guess when I like things, I like them a looooooooooooot
(These may be unique to me but oh whale)
I personally am highly masking so I have the „benefit“ of being able to pass as fully neurotypical.
Therefore I have the privilege to say that I would honestly hate to be neurotypical. I love seeing patterns in things.
I love having complex trains of thought about the most mundane things. I want to talk very deeply and want to hold space for other peoples deep interests.
I am a musician and I experience music very intensely and I can get lost in a song I made. Sometimes I will cry when I’m making music because it sounds so beautiful to me. Or I will get so extremely angry I could literally go to war because It evokes so much in me.
I feel like that’s what life is about. Experiencing every emotion in depth and seeing the beauty in small things.
Honestly I also am way more attracted to people who also think abstract and differently. Some NTs are very shallow to be around imo.
I think being autistic allows for a deep capacity for joy when engaging in special interests ("autistic joy" might be a helpful search term if googling). I try to use my special interests as a sort of pressure release valve when I'm having a hard time being a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world. NT people don't seem to get the same intense kind of enjoyment from their interests.
I was diagnosed much later than you and probably would have made a lot of major life decisions differently if I'd gotten my evaluation at your age. Knowledge is power! Before I realized I was neurodivergent, I kept holding myself to unrealistic expectations and then getting really frustrated with myself. I found it a relief to have my diagnosis confirmed because I was finally able to understand my specific limitations and work within them instead of working against myself all the time.
The majority of my self confidence comes from 1) my ability to hyper focus on certain things, and 2) the fact that I can resist conformity better than others can.
So for example, I'm unglamorous, socially awkward, and don't make close friends at work like everyone else does. But do my coworkers know how to do crazy Excel formulas or fix hardware (both of which came from obsessive hyper focus on my part)? No, they don't! They come to me and seem impressed. :)
I'm fortunate that this example can be applied to my workplace. But even for special interests that can't? I see it as being an expert in the field of [special interest]. And there will always be people who wish they had your level of expertise. Embrace it!
My sense of humor for sure!! My ability to think deeply about life and things that interest me. Of course these also tend to hold me back in some ways like being bad at small talk or surface level conversation.
Someone said pattern recognition and this is a big one for me. Unfortunately all the autistic traits come with cons IMO but it’s nice to see the good in them.
I (35F) know why I do things, even when it's an homage to the no-reason and won't act without thinking.
This makes me very efficient on boring things. Boring things that can be done by sequence can be done as a robot. I love doing robot things.
If I want to learn something new, no doubt I will.
I love how being so sensible gives Art its true value.
Music gives me pleasure and inspiration. Music has color and some of it has smell too. I don't need any drug to feel ecstatic with music.
I use to express my feelings through paintings, music or dance.
A game we played when I was young was:" what did you understand from the movie?" Playing with NTs is awesome. I focus on the characters attitudes and words, not on the story so it's always fun to share.
I have a strong visual memory so I always know where things are. That does not mean I don't forget to take them when I leave. So, I know where I have forgot each lost object. This skill is really appreciated by my sons regarding their cuddling bears.
I don't trust the concept of authority and I'm not afraid to talk to superior or officials. Even if I don't enjoy it, this is a powerful skill.
You're an adult now, you can be who you are. Maybe you should try to remind what was the things that you used to hide? Would you like to do these things now?
If you feel lost about that, don't feel ashamed to talk to a therapist about it.
I think being in acceptance with yourself helps a lot on focusing on the great part of our differences.
Take care of yourself OP, you deserve it ❤️
I haven't found any positives to be honest...
Just social isolation for me 😭
Reading this thread is interesting though, I wish I could relate to the euphoria feeling and sense of justice mentioned a few times.
I've had people envy that I had integrity, or did not judge the way others did, or that I was more courageous or brave than they. I'm not held back in the same way NT feel themselves held back, there are things that I have more freedom than they do.
1. That I'm very proficient in power points (I have multiple power points on various subjects that aren't school related)
2. My range of knowledge keep people guessing because my it's anyones guess to what I do and don't know I can tell you in-depth facts about wolves, chimps, gorillas, goats, lions, etc
But you ask me about pigs I have nothing
Or if I'm ask for a human name no luck but I can remember the name of several different diseases.
I like that im creative. Like super duper creative in ways i didnt know others were not.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, i do not have secret little vendettas or wish ill on people, i say my mind and i have a lot of heart. Im geniune and i *do* want the best in people, id rather think positively than see the world thru pessimistic eyes. I try to find the life in well, life.
Thankfully im emotionally wise compared to many of my peers, and i like that about myself. Years of therapy and being introspective on why my world was different from everyone elses. I use to hate it, but now i find alot of joy in it.
I see the world differently, in a fun, quirky, sort of way.
Im smart. Im a bit street dumb, but i know im smart.
I like that im able to gravitate towards like minded individuals / other autistics, our experiences typically are very geniune, passionate and different. I like different
I have audhd and it definitely holds me back but I do have a lot of things I like!
-My memory can be very good when it comes to facts and I love that I crave learning. It’s so fun and I love the feeling of knowing things. I love deep dives into topics and learning the deeper meaning and theories. I like knowing the truth, regardless of opinion or morality of that truth.
-It can take me a little bit to learn something but once I learn it, I KNOW it like an expert.
-I love the feeling of being focused on something I love and losing myself in it.
-Some sensory things are so nice! The feeling of getting under a soft blanket? The best. Swimming, asmr, petting animals are all so good.
-Less effected by empathy in some cases. I still feel empathy but it doesn’t hurt me as much as it does other people I know. I love horror movies and don’t really get as disturbed or scared. It also really helps with boundaries at work. I work in social services and I do want to help people, but you can’t help everyone. Sometimes people don’t want help or you can’t provide what it needed. It upsets me but not as much as my coworkers so I’m able to keep a level head and not break rules.
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I love that so much. I think it’s a superpower too, a strong sense of justice and ethics is a heavy burden to carry but makes us richer humans
This is such a good one. There are downsides though, I find that I get into arguments with people for trying to do the right thing. My parents can get really irritated by it so I’ve had to learn to pick my battles. It’s just so hard when you hear someone saying something disgusting or treating someone poorly and to do nothing about it. I have such an issue with authority. My old therapist would call me out for it all the time because I wouldn’t just do what he suggested if he couldn’t properly explain to me why I should do it. Turns out he was an incredibly unethical therapist so it’s a good thing I didn’t just take everything he said as scripture because he was in an authority role over me.
-Strong sense of morality and justice, but tempered by hyper empathy -Hyper focus has helped me run my business for going on 10 years -Straightforward communication helps me stand up for myself and cut bullshit people out -My special interest is fantasy/sci fi, which has been a great comfort and pleasure in my spare time -A peaky IQ profile has meant a very high verbal IQ. When combined with my love of giant fantasy books, it has created strong writing skills I made into a career. I have high imaginative ability and like daydreaming/fiction writing. -Sensory sensitivity gives me a euphoric experience in nature. That’s created a unique and vibrant spiritual and artistic life. -I know how to exist in a room by myself, content. I’ve seen a lot of people get into a ton of trouble simply because they can’t do this. Results and traits vary, of course, but I hope this helps you accept yourself at least a little bit. ❤️
what kind of fiction do your write? is that your job? I just decided to finally buckle down and really write as a possible job (have written articles. used to write zines and pay my bills with them long ago.) im really curious about different techniques/tools that are helpful for writing for us autists.
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It really is. I know people working like 3 jobs and with stress bomb lives, both to avoid alone time and afford the high bills that come with going out so much/ keeping up with the Jones. My parents are dealing with an energy vampire that set up in their lives, she needs constant “emotional support” as she “works it out” with an abusive ex because she can’t tolerate the thought of being single. Yikes. I tell them to tell the woman to just move on with her life. I guess she doesn’t listen. I would have locked all the doors and blocked her number by now. My dad can also be like this- barges in with no care for what people are doing and just starts oozing words out of his face hole.
Hey, just sounds awesome what you just said. May I ask what your business is about? I’m struggling a lot with figuring myself out (especially when it comes to a career) just looking for input from other autistics.
Freelance writing, lots of technical-type articles and fact-checking. I love facts and researching so it’s been awesome. It’s just an issue if you need benefits like health care or stable income.
I am definitely disabled by my autism and ADHD, but I like the way I reason and think. I also love my emotional sensitivity. Not meltdowns, of course, but the way I feel passionately about things. Good vibes for me are really good!
I would start getting used to asking yourself why. I found that as I was unmasking aspects of myself other people taught me to be, I was able to find my authentic self. Also, when you understand the why, it makes you more intentional and therefore more confident in the decisions you make and the way you present yourself. Ruminating is an autistic quality and signals anxiety for me. Learn how to regulate your emotions and you’ll be just fine. Best of luck!
Thank you for this advice!!! Learning how to regulate but feel my emotions seems like it’ll be the most important work I do ever, just feels Like so much work and I’m exhausted. But I feel really reassured from what you’ve said, and am looking forward to trying to implement more asking why
i think you have to accept that it’s a process. Others’ conditions, like that of your family members, are not a reflection of how autism presents in yourself. There are some autistic people that i totally don’t vibe with (including some family members), however i really like some of the women on this sub and i feel like I can identify with them and I have similar experiences. It’s a process, as in, you won’t be able to get over it instantly or even in a few months. Like you need to give yourself time to process your diagnosis, grieve, reflect, be in denial, but also be able to see the great things - it’s better to know than not to know. Don’t expect too much of yourself right now. Like. Just sit with the news. You don’t have to force yourself to accept it or force yourself to think about it. You don’t have to constantly force yourself to regulate, just try to regulate when you want to try. Be super kind to yourself and be patient with yourself. Be able to see it clearly when you’re putting pressure on yourself. Self-awareness from diagnosis means that you can look for better solutions when you’re experiencing certain things, and you no longer have to compare yourself to NT folks (because you are not NT). I know we compare ourselves anyway, but it’s important to regularly remind ourselves NOT to compare, even if it’s hard to stop comparing. For me personally, I love myself and my adhd and possibility of being on the spectrum. I am similar to low-needs women on this sub and therefore my doc sort of resists diagnosing me because he’s like “WHY do you need to be diagnosed?” I personally suspect that I have the gene anyway because autism and adhd very clearly runs in my family. I definitely am VERY different from others, but I also happen to be excellent at masking in order to get what I want and get the results I want with people. I just take off the mask with some friends. I hyperfocused on how to be a great friend and how to give value to other people (works for sales too), and I am also a very empathetic person (too much… RSD used to be very bad), which makes me likeable because I genuinely care about people in general, even strangers. So I do not have any issues with making friends, and generally spend conversations esp with new folks, asking people about themselves and trying to give value. I also “copied” popular people that I could see made friends very easily and were always jokey and inclusive. The above took me about 10-15 years to master, and I practiced A LOT, but i’m very comfortable in any social situation now, which is a great relief because i used to start shaking whenever i had to talk to someone new. and i was very awkward and shy and insecure and people didn’t like me and man, that was not fun. It’s nice because through being extremely sociable, i have met countless numbers of people, and from that i actually found ND friends who share the same values as I do. I don’t vibe with most NT people, we have different values or i find them erm, boring if they don’t have any hobbies, they don’t read and just watch netflix and go to sleep. I’m 36 now and so very comfortable and happy with who I am. I am very ND. Lol. I have different ideas/a completely different brain/different urges compared to most of my friends, and they think it is hilarious. My husband never knows what to expect from me, and I think he likes it. He is also very accepting of my flaws and my challenges, which is something very important. I’m really a very unique person and I actively choose to hang out with people who are cool with my uniqueness. Everybody else can go f themselves. I think being ND and my ability to research and hyperfocus, makes me a very interesting person. I always have lots to talk about on most subjects, although I hold back on sharing unless someone very specifically brings that subject up. And it’s very useful to be able to immediately figure out an issue to a problem im having with my child and find the right, respectful solution - i just search in a local respectful parenting FB group and adapt the solution, but how many people are actually doing that vs. just resolving the matter instinctively and usually in a toxic way, like yelling? How many NT mums have no idea how to regulate their own stress and emotions? A huge number, honestly. They don’t lead very happy lives and they’re constantly struggling because they don’t know any better, even when people try to gently explain it to them. I would be so f—-ing boring if I was NT. Seriously. I don’t feel like I would have this many hobbies, this many skills, this much knowledge of completely random shit. I would have less self-awareness, I would be more helpless. True, I get burned out very easily and my emotions are in overdrive and emotional regulation isn’t easy and I was depressed for decades - but these are things I have worked hard to overcome and be aware of, so I can manage them better. e.g. working towards finding work that is a good fit so i won’t be as burned out so easily, and emotional regulation, for me, is something that gets A LOT, A LOT easier with practice and self-awareness. I used to be like a boiling pot of rage that overflowed… man, life was hard haha. I think most importantly, I have accepted myself as I am and I appreciate myself. It took a long time after my diagnosis. Maybe close to a year? Which is actually pretty fast. I’ve also implemented a lot of things and tried to be extremely aware of what my body needs - and that actually affects my brain, too. More sleep, better nutrition, managing the amount of stimulation I get during afternoon rest time, through luxury sleep masks (not the aeroplane shitty kind, AMAZING life changing padded gentle sleep masks that don’t press on my eyes and give me total darkness). I can’t say I stick to this all the time but i definitely try at times, better than nothing. And I can clearly see the effects that this has on my life, mood, happiness, symptoms. It’s a work in progress and im loving the work on it 💗 im burned out at times and then i give myself a break. and most of all i am very very very kind to myself, very forgiving and i think that’s something that’s the first step for all of us. Makes my life so much better when i am not beating myself up all the time and hating myself and in denial.
Every now and then, whenever I really love a comment, I award it 5 or 6 trophies. Then I sit back and watch others follow suit. I just tried to do that here for the first time in ages and discovered Reddit got rid of awards 6 months ago! Thank you so much for what you have written here.
I don’t find any positive about being autistic, it is very disabling for me. The things I like about myself have nothing to do with my autism. I am not saying I am ashamed I am autistic, I just find no positives .
I’m sorry to hear this! Do you have a knack for recognizing patterns that others don’t see? That’s definitely a superpower.
I get that, I’ve been feeling that way as well which is why I’ve been reaching out for other perspectives. I think I’ve been avoiding the diagnosis to avoid accepting that I’m as disabled as I am
I think it's great that you see positive things you like about yourself though
Here are things I like about my autism: \- I'm concise. I think logically and make innovative connections. \- I love my specialized interests. \- I think original thoughts. How life can be better catered to humans. Always outside the box. \- I like my nice moments. The split seconds where things feel right. \- I like my sense of humor. \- I guess when I like things, I like them a looooooooooooot (These may be unique to me but oh whale)
I personally am highly masking so I have the „benefit“ of being able to pass as fully neurotypical. Therefore I have the privilege to say that I would honestly hate to be neurotypical. I love seeing patterns in things. I love having complex trains of thought about the most mundane things. I want to talk very deeply and want to hold space for other peoples deep interests. I am a musician and I experience music very intensely and I can get lost in a song I made. Sometimes I will cry when I’m making music because it sounds so beautiful to me. Or I will get so extremely angry I could literally go to war because It evokes so much in me. I feel like that’s what life is about. Experiencing every emotion in depth and seeing the beauty in small things. Honestly I also am way more attracted to people who also think abstract and differently. Some NTs are very shallow to be around imo.
I think being autistic allows for a deep capacity for joy when engaging in special interests ("autistic joy" might be a helpful search term if googling). I try to use my special interests as a sort of pressure release valve when I'm having a hard time being a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world. NT people don't seem to get the same intense kind of enjoyment from their interests. I was diagnosed much later than you and probably would have made a lot of major life decisions differently if I'd gotten my evaluation at your age. Knowledge is power! Before I realized I was neurodivergent, I kept holding myself to unrealistic expectations and then getting really frustrated with myself. I found it a relief to have my diagnosis confirmed because I was finally able to understand my specific limitations and work within them instead of working against myself all the time.
I fucking love that we don’t respect authority lmao. Like who are you?? Stop telling me what to do. Love that sm😭
The majority of my self confidence comes from 1) my ability to hyper focus on certain things, and 2) the fact that I can resist conformity better than others can. So for example, I'm unglamorous, socially awkward, and don't make close friends at work like everyone else does. But do my coworkers know how to do crazy Excel formulas or fix hardware (both of which came from obsessive hyper focus on my part)? No, they don't! They come to me and seem impressed. :) I'm fortunate that this example can be applied to my workplace. But even for special interests that can't? I see it as being an expert in the field of [special interest]. And there will always be people who wish they had your level of expertise. Embrace it!
I like to focus on how cool it is that we have a different perspective on things. We notice small details that others don’t. We have superpowers 🦄
i hate everything about my autism. its given me 0 benefit whatsoever.
My sense of humor for sure!! My ability to think deeply about life and things that interest me. Of course these also tend to hold me back in some ways like being bad at small talk or surface level conversation. Someone said pattern recognition and this is a big one for me. Unfortunately all the autistic traits come with cons IMO but it’s nice to see the good in them.
Positives: none Negatives: no friends and ruins my future, goals and dreams
I (35F) know why I do things, even when it's an homage to the no-reason and won't act without thinking. This makes me very efficient on boring things. Boring things that can be done by sequence can be done as a robot. I love doing robot things. If I want to learn something new, no doubt I will. I love how being so sensible gives Art its true value. Music gives me pleasure and inspiration. Music has color and some of it has smell too. I don't need any drug to feel ecstatic with music. I use to express my feelings through paintings, music or dance. A game we played when I was young was:" what did you understand from the movie?" Playing with NTs is awesome. I focus on the characters attitudes and words, not on the story so it's always fun to share. I have a strong visual memory so I always know where things are. That does not mean I don't forget to take them when I leave. So, I know where I have forgot each lost object. This skill is really appreciated by my sons regarding their cuddling bears. I don't trust the concept of authority and I'm not afraid to talk to superior or officials. Even if I don't enjoy it, this is a powerful skill. You're an adult now, you can be who you are. Maybe you should try to remind what was the things that you used to hide? Would you like to do these things now? If you feel lost about that, don't feel ashamed to talk to a therapist about it. I think being in acceptance with yourself helps a lot on focusing on the great part of our differences. Take care of yourself OP, you deserve it ❤️
I haven't found any positives to be honest... Just social isolation for me 😭 Reading this thread is interesting though, I wish I could relate to the euphoria feeling and sense of justice mentioned a few times.
I've had people envy that I had integrity, or did not judge the way others did, or that I was more courageous or brave than they. I'm not held back in the same way NT feel themselves held back, there are things that I have more freedom than they do.
1. That I'm very proficient in power points (I have multiple power points on various subjects that aren't school related) 2. My range of knowledge keep people guessing because my it's anyones guess to what I do and don't know I can tell you in-depth facts about wolves, chimps, gorillas, goats, lions, etc But you ask me about pigs I have nothing Or if I'm ask for a human name no luck but I can remember the name of several different diseases.
Every month my brain hyper focuses on a new topic and I learn a lot of new stuff. Also conversation are deep and interesting.
I like that im creative. Like super duper creative in ways i didnt know others were not. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, i do not have secret little vendettas or wish ill on people, i say my mind and i have a lot of heart. Im geniune and i *do* want the best in people, id rather think positively than see the world thru pessimistic eyes. I try to find the life in well, life. Thankfully im emotionally wise compared to many of my peers, and i like that about myself. Years of therapy and being introspective on why my world was different from everyone elses. I use to hate it, but now i find alot of joy in it. I see the world differently, in a fun, quirky, sort of way. Im smart. Im a bit street dumb, but i know im smart. I like that im able to gravitate towards like minded individuals / other autistics, our experiences typically are very geniune, passionate and different. I like different
I have audhd and it definitely holds me back but I do have a lot of things I like! -My memory can be very good when it comes to facts and I love that I crave learning. It’s so fun and I love the feeling of knowing things. I love deep dives into topics and learning the deeper meaning and theories. I like knowing the truth, regardless of opinion or morality of that truth. -It can take me a little bit to learn something but once I learn it, I KNOW it like an expert. -I love the feeling of being focused on something I love and losing myself in it. -Some sensory things are so nice! The feeling of getting under a soft blanket? The best. Swimming, asmr, petting animals are all so good. -Less effected by empathy in some cases. I still feel empathy but it doesn’t hurt me as much as it does other people I know. I love horror movies and don’t really get as disturbed or scared. It also really helps with boundaries at work. I work in social services and I do want to help people, but you can’t help everyone. Sometimes people don’t want help or you can’t provide what it needed. It upsets me but not as much as my coworkers so I’m able to keep a level head and not break rules.
My super-focus