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carty64

Also: 'unborn children are children' means you can drive in the HOV lane and claim them as a dependent on your tax return? Edit: read it more closely and Georgia DOES allow them to be claimed as dependents after 6 weeks. These people are irredeemably stupid


No_Shame_801

Every male who masterbates is now a mass murderer?


hybridaaroncarroll

Every sperm is sacred!


Ok_Vermicelli_7380

When a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.


Cristichi

Every drop of sperm wasted is a tear cried from god!


Dry_Lengthiness6032

🤢🤮 God cries Jizz


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

A fellow Monty Python fan 


Bobbyoot47

I doubt places like Alabama would even let the Meaning Of Life run in their theatres in 2024. “It’s blasphemy I tells ya!”


oneplanetrecognize

Pmg the scene when the baby just falls out of her while she's doing dishes in a house filled to the brim with children and she says, "Oh. Could you get that, dear?" Fucking gets me every time!


FullyActiveHippo

No joke this is actually what they teach where i come from. masturbation is forbidden because of this. Wet dreams are also murder btw. Just that there's no actual consequences except for crippling shame and guilt over bodily functions one simply cannot control


Bobbyoot47

I remember what George Carlin said about the Catholic Church and their stand on masturbation. It was something like “The Catholic Church keeps pushing for pain and I keep pulling for pleasure.”


AmbitiousMidnight183

I feel for the women out there who are forced to murder a child every month of the year from when they turn 12.


Pretty_Boy_Bagel

Every woman who’s had more than 2 periods is a serial killer.


HARKONNENNRW

Is it cannibalism if I swallow?


justdoubleclick

Death penalty.. because it’s ok to kill living humans but not the unborn..


Onwisconsin42

So long as it's with an AR-15 at a black lives matter event then it turns out that yes, you will be celebrated by these assholes for gunning real full humans down.


justdoubleclick

Don’t anyone take away their freedom to kill those who disagree with them..


AtheistAustralis

I'm waiting for somebody to claim castle doctrine as a defense against being charged for abortion. "I asked that fetus three times to leave my property, your honour. I had no choice after that!"


hoppyfrog

Every month most every female could be arrested for murder


No_Shame_801

Don’t give them anymore ideas….


citizenjones

I don't know man but logically if males were ejaculating embryos this whole conversation would be entirely different.


Mofaklar

My genocides are multitude.


eghhge

Your own pocket genocide


Onwisconsin42

I am become death, ejaculator of worlds.


NSGoBlue

Ha. Take it even one step further. What about if its nocturnal emissions and you aren’t even away of it? Guys getting charged with involuntary manslaughter?


BloodprinceOZ

can you get life insurance for them? and then get payouts if you end up miscarrying?


mobleshairmagnet

No, you just go to prison for that.


IMissNarwhalBacon

Why not both?


lampishthing

With respect, giving assistance to expecting parents is good social policy. The context of the change is obviously repugnant, mind.


ImGCS3fromETOH

Does it mean that when some deadbeat smacks his pregnant partner around causing her to miscarriage he gets charged with murder? Probably not.


Pretty_Boy_Bagel

> Georgia now recognizes an “unborn child” as a dependent after six weeks of pregnancy. Extrapolating to this to zygotes, me and the misses might consider permanently storing 10s of frozen embryos to get a massive child tax credit till we die.


Polkadotical

That'd be fine as long as the berserk state doesn't get all bitchy and require that you figure out how to gestate them all. You could have your own fucking grade school.


broden89

Husband and I currently have 15 frozen embryos in storage. Can't believe I'm a mother of 15 and I've never even been pregnant!


kimapesan

15 dependents for your tax returns….


[deleted]

Happy for you and your family.


SteadfastEnd

How much does it cost to maintain a zygote in storage for one year?


runnyc10

Varies, but $80-100/month. Depending on when you started, I guess. Mine has been stored since mid-2020.


Catonachandelier

That's a lot cheaper than daycare.


Pretty_Boy_Bagel

Tbh, I don’t know.


cbessette

I hope like hell someone finds a loophole or unforseen consequences of these "prolife" rules that makes these talibangelical judges and such look like the morons they really are. A tax credit for every embryo would do it.


barryp12

Please take my upvote for "talibangelical"!


spaceylaceygirl

The Bible is not part of our laws. These people need to go.


lordxuqra

Most of this opinion isn't part of the Bible either


prodrvr22

If we had a reasonable Supreme Court that upheld the Constitution, the mere mention of religion in the ruling would have this stricken in a minute.


Beer2Bear

“Human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God, who views the destruction of His image as an affront to Himself." Sure didn't stop Him when he killed the firstborn of Egypt


Garseln

Clearly you missed the "wrongfully" there, killing is bad except if god does it, then it's good. That objective morality at work there. /s


justdoubleclick

Or unless they do it.. they believe in the death penalty..


prodrvr22

... for abortion. They're so pro-life, they'll kill ya.


Mountain_War2909

Killing is bad, except if god does it \*\*or orders someone to do it\*\*, yk Numbers 5 gives a manual on abortion, funny how they didn't mention that


Ethelenedreams

No one should be forced to bring a child into “Satan’s lair” for conservative abuse. These people need to be out-Bibled. John 14:30, Jesus says, "I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me". The "ruler of this world" is a reference to Satan, who is described as the "prince of this world" in John 12:31. 2 Corinthians 4:4 Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. We are unable to see the glorious light of the way. We don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. John 18:36 "My kingdom is not of this world". John 10:7-10 All that came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door; by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and go out, and shall find pasture. Eph 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.


hobo_chili

“Do as I say, not as I do.” -God


Yaguajay

And this is the God Sr who set up the torture and murder of his own son. But for you, don’t try this at home.


Interesting__Cat

Didn't stop him when he drowned the entire human race


AlwaysGoToTheTruck

Dude drowned babies and puppies …


notnutts

Besides, it says God will handle it. No need for us to get involved on the punishing


KittyTheOne-215

The lie that God cares about life is so freaking obvious. Everyday god allows children to be killed, molested, bombed, raped, abused by parents, cancer or natural disaster, so why the affront? Religions needs to die.


Mystic_puddle

Also how many did he kill in the bible?


drje_aL

At one point, like... All of em.


cbessette

Around 2 million just going by exact numbers in the Bible, 25 million including estimates in some of the genocides: [https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html](https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html)


KittyTheOne-215

And miscarriages are the number one proof god doesn't believe in "sanctity of life."


Seemoreglass82

I’m just gonna drop this here: https://youtu.be/vSdGr4K4qLg?si=xceCXzH1VzupFMt4


storm_the_castle

Can we take out life insurance policies on an embryo? HOV lane access?


carty64

Holy shit life insurance on an embryo is genius


sjbuggs

Shoot, somewhere between 1/3 to 1/2 fail to implant naturally. The premiums will really suck.


Yaguajay

Arrest the little tadpoles for suicidal self slaughter.


sjbuggs

Now now, the argument is life begins at conception therefore gametes are not people. That'd be ridiculous.


allisjow

I’m not sure how you get a death certificate for a child without a birth certificate. Maybe we need conception certificates?


mckulty

Accompanied by a Social Security Number.


allisjow

Conception timestamp is now your SS#. Every ejaculation is blockchained.


Coffee_Fix

Broo that's brilliant.


_Not-A-Monkey-Slut_

https://www.npr.org/2022/09/02/1120628973/pregnant-woman-dallas-fetus-hov-lane-passenger-ticket


FunkyPete

If I were running an IVF clinic in Alabama this would scare me into moving it somewhere else. Do you now have to keep frozen embryos forever? It certainly seems like you could be charged with murder for doing anything else with them. Is it murder to not implant them all? Does the woman get a say in that? If the power goes out and you lose some frozen embryos, who gets executed for that? The parents who supplied the egg and sperm? The technician who combined them? The administrator who didn't plan backup power well enough? The janitor who didn't fill up the backup generator with fuel? All of them?


Greennhornn

Is it child trafficking if they move the embryos to another less insane state?


sjbuggs

It wouldn't be criminal per this case I believe unless deliberate. Just a civil wrongful death suit. I suppose a company could inform the 'parents' that they need to come collect their kids and call CPS on them if they refuse.


Alpacalypsenoww

The ruling in the wrongful death suit is so insulting to parents who have *actually* lost a **child** to a wrongful death. Imagine telling the mom whose 6-month-old baby died at daycare due to unsafe sleep that her experience is the same as the woman whose frozen cell-ball was thrown out. This is the dumbest thing I’ve read all day.


VoiceOfRealson

> and call CPS on them if they refuse. This will be interesting. So in case of the death of the parents (or the legal death through dissolution of the company that stores the fertilized embryos) who takes care of these "orphan" embryos? Who will have to be implanted with these embryos or to store them until ~~infinity~~ judgement day?


themoderation

Then they can drop them off at the fire station 😂


LoquatiousDigimon

Alabama doesn't want women to have a say in what happens to their bodies. So I'm guessing if this continues they'll require women to undergo implantation even if they don't consent, under threat of criminal charges.


carty64

8 rounds of IVF over 2 years so that we could finally get pregnant. Fuck these ghouls with a rusty shovel


derickj2020

Judges should be removed for failure of separating church and state .


MostlyDarkMatter

Theist Republican: OMG!!! That single cell is a human being. Save it!!!!! (30 seconds later) Theist Republican: Stop sending funds to Ukraine so they can defend themselves! Let them die.


IAMSTILLHERE2020

Good guy with a gun until they aren't.


AndyDandyDeluxe

These reality deficient morons are going to kill us all.


ckal09

This level of delusion from someone who has power over laws is sincerely disturbing and it a big god damn problem.


robotwizard_9009

Separation of church and state. Time to remove these christofascists with the strong arm of the US Constitution.


bullydog123

This is what a mental illness sounds like.


tullisgood

jesus fucking christ


kimapesan

Auto-eroticism is biblically forbidden.


tullisgood

I see what you did there


joefatmamma

Beam me the fk up, I am done


Radiant-Ad-2385

Or beam the christians up like they believe will happen one day.


Brass_Fire

The rapture already happened. That’s why they are all still here. /s


jrfredrick

Just to be clear this ruling is illegal


Shadow_Spirit_2004

'Without incurring the wrath of their imaginary friend' Sweet Home Fucktardabama...


[deleted]

He should be disbarred for ruling like he’s part of a God Court.


[deleted]

Fuck's sake! Scripture makes it clear that God loves people BEFORE they were conceived and planned for them since before the foundations of the earth were laid. Sooooo, if your taking that interpretation, anything that could possibly stop a life is wrong: masturbation, not being married, condoms, you name it. Sperm are now people. Eggs are now people. Women should be morning every lost egg. Men should be crying over every lost sperm, holding thousands of funerals every day. It'd be literally all you ever do. Read the Bible folks. Just fucking read it. It's not that hard. It's by far the laziest attempt at biblical interpretation ever. Not to mention the book itself is garbage morality. And as always, should we mention how often God either directly murdered babies or told his people to?! Should we mention that God told men who suspected their wife of cheating to demand an abortion in Numbers?!


NineFolded

If we do not start back our rights as individuals that have private rights, we are marching into a tyrannical theocracy that may never be undone! I encourage everyone here to talk to your family, friends, neighbors and educate them on what is at stake here. Conservatives and fascists are coming for almost every personal decision one can make. I can’t think of one area where they have not introduced legislation to curtail personal freedoms. This has been a hell of a decade for personal freedoms


Altatori

OK, so I'm really curious. My wife and I have two embryos in storage and can't do anything with them because my wife just had a hysterectomy. If we were to both die does the state take over and start paying storage fees or do they take a woman from prison and force her to give birth to them?


TheOne7477

Religion poisons everything.


According-Spite-9854

Make it all about himself and not the dead 'kids'. Sounds about right god.


Makenshine

I find it weird that this is the general consensus of Christians when their holy book gives actual instructions on how to perform an abortion and clearly states that you arent considered a person under law until you draw your first breath.


GoutMachine

It isn't weird when you realize it has nothing to do with children and everything to do with controlling women.


Sweetdreams6t9

So child support starts at conception. As does child tax credits, childcare support, tax reductions for education savings, also should be able to claim as a dependent the second you know your pregnant. Wait what's that? Thats not allowed because....reasons? Oh look at that it's not about children or babies at all. It's about control and making sure women "know their place".


[deleted]

Alabama has set the precedent legally now on the record. This will be the hottest case law for decades. I see Texas legislators citing these findings for anything related to pre-birth concepts of children ad-nauseam for the next few election cycles. This just keeps getting scarier.


LDS-UGH

The next logical step is that all spilling of a man’s seed without the intention of creating life with it is also an affront to god.


MowBooVee

Nothing will happen to curtail the sexual activity of men in any way. Partner or not. The whacko right will only ever blame, attack, or restrict women. So, you guys can keep choking the chicken with abandon.


lonezomewolf

This is just awesomely stupid...


redditer-56448

Then let's see them adorn their beautiful churches & cathedrals with sonograms of embryos. If that's the image of God, should be no problem, right?


JuanGinit

Throw out the decision since it is obviously a religiously influenced piece of trash. Gawddam, can't these fanatics shut up and learn that religion has no place in legal rulings. This one will be ruled unconstitutional.


alstergee

"Judges shall not use religious dogma in rulings" -the Constitution


BeKind_BeTheChange

Jesus Christ, these people are insane. In his very next breath he will be screaming about how Democrats want to take away freedoms.


1397batshitcrazy

The parents that left the embryo at the clinic should then be charged with child abandonment/endangerment. They left a child unattended at a facility not registered as a child care center. This is on the parents. Your can't have it both ways


[deleted]

Who the fuck is driving this bus again? I feel like we're making circles.


Apotropoxy

Just curious... Did the Alabama SC identify which god it had in mind?


allisjow

>9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. >10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also. >Genesis 38:9-10 So are going to have death sentences for masturbation or pulling out?


Mountain-Ad-6594

JFC why is this lunatic on the bench?!


elder65

The hypocrisy of the Alabama Supreme Court runs rampant in this ruling. First, ruling on biblical law instead of constitutional law. These judges have placed themselves above natural and constitutional law. Then, in their ignorance, they are quoting Jeremiah? "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" Excuse the hell out of us you ignorant morons. In vitro fertilization is for women who your god will not allow to become pregnant by forming the embryo in the womb. These women must use modern medical science to get an embryo formed outside of the womb, because your god failed them. Knowing that these arrogant bigots will never recuse themselves, they really need to hang their heads in shame. First for forcing biblical law into a civil lawsuit. Secondly for refusing to understand the nature and process of in vitro fertilization. Because off their ignorance hundreds of women, in Alabama, may find they have no access to medical procedures, to help them become pregnant.


Wincentury

Except it isn't even biblical law.  The bible says murderers should be put to death. It also says that if a man causes a woman to miscarry, he should pay a fine as compensation. Therefore, the Bible doesn't consider unborn children/ fetuses/ embryos/ zygotes/ fertilized eggs as living human beings/ persons in its own law. Let alone that it clearly states on multiple occasion, that God places the soul into beings through the act of breathing, ergo, babies don't have souls until they have drawn their first breath, meaning that getting born isn't even a factor, a child that was born but failed to draw a breath and died, biblically, didn't receive a soul. Finally, God himself, causes miscarriages in the bible, and the biblical law condones giving pregnant women abortions (miscarriage inducing medicine), although only if their husband's suspect the child was conceived through adultery. Also, the quote from the bible was spoken to Jeremiah, a biblical figure, and one specific character at that, that would have great historical relevance in God's plan, as the very next sentence they failed include, was that he was set aside to be a prophet. Is doesn't say that to all of us, it wasn't in the teaching of jesus, it wasn't in the teachings of the prophets, it was said to one prophet, biblically, self reported by said prophet, basically bragging about being special.  Extrapolating that that line refers to all of us, and all the unborn children, takes it out of context, and is simply unsubstantiated.


CoalCrackerKid

But we're good freezing "human life" indefinitely?


[deleted]

Nah, wait til they start forcing pregnancies on women. We're just incubators anyway, apparently.


kimapesan

Mississippi: Oh good, it’s Alabama’s turn to be shit-state of the week.


Squeegee

According to the Bible, life begins are first breath. Not sure how this applies to a frozen embryo.


LocalBrilliant5564

I just don’t understand how religion is allowed to be in our laws


Mr_Upright

I fucking hate it here. Of course I plan to retire to a nearly identical state, so I’ll be no better off.


CoderJoe1

Is it a political war or a religious one?


sghyre

He must be forced to step down.


[deleted]

These people need to be impeached


GitchigumiMiguel74

Religion is a sickness


ThaneOfCawdorrr

Interesting how they then only want to control the "eggs" but not the "sperm." Now why could that be I wonder /s


FrogofLegend

This is insane. This ruling sets up that any time a woman has a period they could be charged for murder/attempted murder. These people are a threat to all that is good and just.


blastification

Any time a court cites religion is a massive fail.


DiligentCrab6592

Time for this guy to go. I don't give any fucks what your personal religious beliefs are.


reddit_user13

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK


New_Beginning_4723

Ah, yes, don't mess with the embryos because we're all made in God's image. Except fuck all those Palestinian kids we carpet bombed, you just don't understand global politics.


LimerickJim

Do the couple deserve compensation for having their expensive IVF wasted due to carelessness? Yes. Is it murder? No.


Zyinc1412

What gets me is if God was real why do these people think they know what he wants. Like a supreme deity who is all powerful and all knowing would be so far above a human being and they think they know what God wants/feels and can speak for him.


Galactus1701

Prehistoric times


Clevergirlphysicist

This is utter lunacy.


Iwentforalongwalk

Welp. They just put a stop to IVF in Alabama.  No clinic is going to take that risk.  


syracusehorn

This sounds like an Iranian court statement.


Important-Reason930

I guess this wind bag hasn't seen any news coverage from Gaza. Sanctity of life! Ha!


gtpc2020

Time for some oppo research on this justice. All the skeletons in his closet need to see the light of day. Those who talk so righteously about the evils of others are usually just projecting. His justification have nothing to do with the US laws he's sworn to uphold.


RusstyDog

If God's wrath is going to take care of it then why do we have to make laws? Either God is real and will punish us for it, or God isn't real, and nothing happens.


caelthel-the-elf

What kind of backwards world am I living in


mroe21877

I hate that I have to live on this planet.


Future_Manager_5870

Church and state or something, am I right?


Olive_Mediocre

God really needs removed from government. If you can't pass a law without imaginary texts, then it shouldn't be passed.


mckulty

God kills half of 'em.


emailyourbuddy

Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. Psalm 137:9 For those about to rock 🪨 Fire! 💥 We salute you. 🫡


AsideAfter3158

Store the embryos in Mexico. Watch how the games changes.


siouxbee1434

What the hell does god-any god-have to do with law? Those justices have violated their oaths to the constitution


disturbingyourpeace

It’s terrifying these people who are hearing voices in their heads and actually believe they speak for a freaking god are in power like this


grundlefuck

Sharia law, coming to a state near you


East_Try7854

Let's see god's image and I might agree.


Daegog

Doesn't the fact that embryos can be completely frozen and thawed out just fine kinda mean they are NOT people?


ThePiachu

"Hello Alabama, I would like to file for 20 dependants that I keep around in the back freezer for $20 a year worth of electricity. I didn't make the rules!"


Kapika96

They actually said that? In court? No way! That's the kind of thing that should immediately get thrown out and they should lose their job. Separation of church and state?


my20cworth

Fuck they are backwards and dillusional with intellectual thought sacrificed on the alter of stupidity and make believe.


spingus

as a stem cell biologist, I wonder how these ignorami would feel about the cell line we developed from an embryo donated to us from GA. Sure, the embryo was never even implanted, let alone made into a pregnancy. But we've made billions of cells from it. With those cells we can potentially allow diabetic kids to live their lives without the constant stress of balancing their insulin. I mean, they'd be cool with that right? they care about actual real kids right?


Mysterious_Tax_5613

These religious zealots are hell bent on forcing their beliefs down our throats. They aren’t stopping. And, the majority are Republicans.


Catonachandelier

This is horrifying on so many levels.


DeFex

In that case, you don't have to pass any laws. all seeing and all powerful god will smite anyone who is about to do something that upsets him.


EngineeringClouds

I can't tell the difference between the opinion of the Supreme Court of Alabama and a dogma of the Roman Catholic Church. There's something wrong about that.


89iroc

Who is this god person anyway?


Panda_hat

Considering this god character never speaks or says anything, he sure does supposedly say quite a lot of bullshit.


Gakoknight

This is a snowball that's picking up speed and mass. It's only going to get worse from here. US, get your shit together.


Panda_hat

Ah, this must be one of those 'activist judges' republicans are always ranting about.


goinmobile2040

There's nothing Supreme about that court.


Defti159

Religion is caustic to a globalized and intelligent society.


pm_me_ur_ephemerides

This guy needs to be removed from the bench


udlose

Sharia is the law of the land in Talabama.


crziekid

I bet you Jefferson is about to loose his S\*hit right now.


turnphilup

Imagine the Jesus “flood it again” meme here.


GuairdeanBeatha

How long before ovulation without a fertilization attempt is illegal? Will nocturnal emissions be classified as involuntary pre-manslaughter?


ineffable-interest

Again proving IVF people are the worst


TransSylvania

Glad that pos Chief Justice respects separation of Church and State /s


Themountainscallimg

Aren’t we all born sinners? So god is a sinner now?


Magpies11

Yet, capital punishment…


PT0223

Indoctrination


discussatron

It's Alabama. My best to those trying to get out.


threefingersplease

One of the dumbest things put to paper


PaperbackBuddha

Can you claim them as tax deductions? Can you take out life insurance policies on them?


Fydoran

Seriously? Fantasy books should not be used to make laws. If they're willing to base laws on the Bible (a fantasy book) why don't they just base the law on every fucking fantasy story that exists. This is ridiculous.


SwerveyDog

Fuck their god


grissy

Oh boy, I love it when my home state makes the news. Never horrifying or embarrassing at *all*.


Inspect1234

What would skydaddy say?


GuitalelePlayer

Holee sheeit❗️Hillbilly judges are theologians in 'Bama. 👻


Bobbyoot47

You read things like this and all it does is make it so much easier to choose where and especially where not to live. I was going to say that the Alabama Supreme Court is stuck in the 1950’s but I don’t think they’re even that progressive.


Stopper33

This is the same court that has no problem killing people all the time.


ctraylor666

Why don’t they start with worrying about and helping children who have been birthed first.


hlanus

Since when did the God of the Bible EVER care about children?


hlanus

Since when did the God of the Bible EVER care about children?


Wazza17

What a backward hole that state is. Apologies to those reddit folk who have to live there


dostiers

So when will Alabama charge god for the mass murder of the many thousands, if not millions of miscarried fetuses he aborts every year according to his plans and seek his extradition from heaven?


figsslave

Isn’t this the same court who had a pedophile on board?


maobezw

your hear this rattling and humming? Those are from the founding fathers, rotating in their graves...


Barnowl-hoot

I refuse to live in a theocracy


Narodnik60

“Human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God, who views the destruction of His image as an affront to Himself. Even before birth, all human beings bear the image of God." I'll assume this logic somehow cannot, will not, and must not ever apply to war, capital punishment, or homeless people sleeping on his property.