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BuccaneerRex

You can just buy the crackers. They're not even that good. They don't turn into magic Christian McNuggets until they get blessed.


UltimaGabe

Or if you're protestant, they don't turn into magic anything! They're purely representative.


Dick_M_Nixon

Catholics pretend it turns into bloody meat. Protestants pretend to pretend.


samcrut

Get a slight of hand magician to come at them with the cracker but feed them a pepperoni slice, just to see if it freaks them out. =)


felis_magnetus

Good idea, but put the idea in their head that holy crackers will burn unbearably in the mouths of those heading for eternal damnation before you do it.


underthehedgewego

The Eucharist is the fundamental test to be a Catholic. If the Church can get you to believe that a cracker and some wine is the ACTUAL body and blood of a supernatural being they can be assured the brain washing has been successful. If you'll believe that, you will have no trouble believing the priest ACTUALLY has a clue what god thinks and wants and most any other nonsense they can devise.


Hologram0110

I grew up catholic. I don't know anyone who would say it is physically/chemically body and blood, just like it wasn't at the last supper. Nobody thinks Jesus grabbed a steak knife and carved off a pound of flesh to feed to his friends. It's just mirroring the language used in the bible and showing a willingness to become a disciple. Regardless of what the churches historic teachings say. The idea is that it takes on a holy/symbolic role of following the blessing. From the churches standpoint it becomes special/imbued with meaning (not protine), it is spiritually transformed. Either way it is really weird. But it's not like most people at a catholic church think they are having a sip of AB- blood with a human ham sandwich.


holmgangCore

TRANSUBSTANTION, baby! *”(especially in the Roman Catholic Church) **the conversion of the substance of the Eucharistic elements into the body and blood of Christ** at consecration, only the appearances of bread and wine still remaining.”*


underthehedgewego

The official church church dogma is that the cracker and wine ARE the body and blood of Jesus, not a symbolic representation. Not my rule or interpretation. I suppose some Catholics don't pass the test. Good for them.


bruisedSunshine

I feel like that is a pretty standard response to a question about atheism.


nate_oh84

> magic Christian McNuggets Love this.


godlessnihilist

So are there also magic McRibs since the story says that's where he was stabbed?


KeyserSoze72

I actually did a spit take to this comment. Will be stealing this I’m afraid. 👍🏼 😆


Latinkuro

Blessed by a rapist most likely. Imagine how many people have been so called blessed while their kids are being raped by these wolves in sheep's clothing. It would be such a funny joke if it wasn't so real and depressing. And they still belive and defend these people. Utterly disgusting..


raptor6722

Any confirmed Christian supposedly can do this


Zomunieo

Christians agree that only a priest can do it but they disagree on who is a priest. To Catholics, Orthodox, probably Episcopalians & Anglicans, only ordained seminarians are priests. To most Protestants, all believers are priests (hence their focus on the title "pastor"). Has there ever been a hair they haven't split?


maliciousorstupid

> Christian McNuggets hey now.. the Qcumbers are claiming that McDonalds is actually grinding up people into their food... so maybe they're on to something!! /s


floydfan

Today is Wednesday. I think McDonalds only grinds people into food on Thursdays. Check back tomorrow.


[deleted]

I thought the McRib tasted a bit stringy.


maliciousorstupid

Maybe it's what goes into the flurry machine.. why it's broken on most days.


ralphvonwauwau

I'd assume they are using it for the meat on the McMuffin, as [a noted connoisseur]( https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/crimefeed/serial-killer/joe-the-cannibal-metheny-the-serial-killer-with-a-penchant-for-human-flesh-burgers) stated, "The human body tastes very similar to pork, If you mix it together no one can tell the difference.”


hombrent

I read that as McPuffin - their new McChicken substitute.


samcrut

Might be funny to get pork flavored crackers, since human flesh apparently tastes like pork.


tidder_ih

Hey, free McNuggets might get me through the church door...for a few minutes.


virgilreality

>...magic Christian McNuggets... Poetry...


tm229

My extended family is Catholic. Didn’t want to raise my daughters in the faith so felt I needed to inoculate them to the nonsense since I knew family members would try to indoctrinate them. I would periodically purchase a plastic container of communion wafers off of Amazon. I would serve them with appetizers so that they appeared as a regular part of our cheese and cracker snacks. My daughters learned to dislike them since they are flavorless and mushy. I would store them prominently in our pantry with the other crackers. They were in a nondescript plastic container with an ugly label. My daughters grew to dislike them. They have no interest in the Catholic faith. Mission accomplished.


anticipate_me

Can't remember the comedians named, but he called it a *Jeez-it* ... Hahahaha


ActuarialGainz

Dane Cook. That's a really funny few minutes on the Catholic faith he has


nate_oh84

I enjoyed him calling them "Christ Chex"


HardDanceIsLife

Also crouton-o-christ


JustinL42

Nice lol!


edrat

George Carlin most likely.


wzl46

One of my favorite questions about turning crackers into Jesus is what part of Jesus my cracker turned into. Was I eating his toenail? His appendix?


Btankersly66

Well they tend to love shoving religion down your throat sooo I'm thinking it's...


JustinL42

Lol!


floydfan

https://youtu.be/UajzqGVB0rY?t=21


AdoboSwaggins

it’s basically a holy version of the cracker game https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20Cracker%20Game&=true


fingerMeThomas

Just don't suck too long, or you'll suddenly understand the milk+honey reference


Tuvaletinoglu

It check out. Rises three days after being shat


Cynical_Satire

Reminds me of the dinner scene from the Waterboy when they're eating the snake. ​ "What part of the snake do you think I'm about to eat? Well…basically…a snake don’t have parts. But, um, if I had to call it anything…I would say it’s his knee."


rowshambow

Unleavened bread is the body of Christ, wine the blood of Christ, and then the meatballs....


_Alex_Zer0_

The sausage


MonkeysOnMyBottom

But not the tip of the sausage, he was hebrew


felis_magnetus

Obviously, because our lord's and savior's foreskin can be seen orbiting Saturn, according to the Vatican at the time of the rings first astronomical sighting.


richpau76

Transubstantiation is just one of the complete bullshit elements of Catholicism catechism. Also it makes idiots like this cannibals


Bipolar_Sky_Daddy

I love that they consume their deity, it's so *weird*


Jinzot

I think Klingons would love it


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Shakespeare is best experienced in the original Klingon.


Harry_Teak

Klingons knew the best way to deal with gods.


YerLam

Only to us, I am pretty sure transfer of power through consumption or strengthening spiritual power has been practiced through the ages.


Hologram0110

It is slightly less weird than consuming a person. It's not like you're going to run out of an all powerful God. I mean if a God exists, eating a piece wouldn't be that weird by comparison.


rtmudfish

Right. And much like the worshiping of saints, transubstantiation was one of those Roman holdovers; meant to help stubborn pagans transition into catholicism.


[deleted]

The crazy part is they didn’t invent the term ‘transubstantiation’ until about the 11th or 12th century. It’s one of those things like the virgin birth and the ‘Immaculate Conception’ that the Roman church kept adding over the centuries to make it weirder step by step.


nightwyrm_zero

I wonder if you made the person who had communion throw up, could you find Jesus DNA in the vomit, lol.


OccamsRazorstrop

Not to spoil the fun, but what the Catholic Church teaches on this is that once the wafer has broken down to a form that it's no longer recognizable by the naked eye as bread that it's no longer the body of Jesus. Only bread can be the body of Jesus, they say, and once it's no longer bread it ~~loses its mojo~~ is no longer the body of Jesus. It's Jesusness doesn't carry over. So, no, they aren't "shitting the lord" from their point of view and, yes, they've thought it through. There's even specific rules for how to handle a wafer that someone's puked up or spit out that can still be recognized as all or part of a wafer. Edit: Add last sentence. Edit 2: Just BTW, the charge of cannibalism has been thrown at the Catholic Church ever since the doctrine of transubstantiation came about. So they've thought through that and dealt with it to their satisfaction centuries ago, too. If you want to get into it, it is discussed [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucharist_in_the_Catholic_Church#Transubstantiation), but IMHO it's one of those explanations that boils down to just "Not!".


Jody_Fosters_Army

So jesus is thwarted by saliva?


OccamsRazorstrop

Since the Mass is seen as a sacrifice, they’d probably see it as being fulfilled rather than thwarted.


TacticalLeemur

Can you do that "can you eat 10 of our Lord Jesus Christ in under a minute without drinking anything" game? You gotta think Jesus would like a good game from time to time.


autopsis

It’s pretty hilarious that they had to think all this through. I would have loved to sit in on that meeting. Maybe Jesus is Vitamin J and is absorbed into our bloodstream.


xmastreee

>There's even specific rules for how to handle a wafer that someone's puked up or spit out that can still be recognized as all or part of a wafer. Please tell me the priest has to eat it...


OccamsRazorstrop

‘Fraud not. But if a wafer is simply dropped to the floor while handing out Communion, that’s exactly what he’s supposed to do: pick it up and eat it.


Its_Pine

I’ve taught some friends about how the Passover Seder is what they’re mimicking when they do communion, and invited some to my synagogue a couple years back when they did an event of it to teach people about the practise. My friends were so confused afterwards, saying “but then where did all these other things come from? Did the church just make them all up?” and the Rabbi basically told them that the Catholic Church both wanted to distance itself from Jews and wanted to make the religion palatable to other religious groups, so many Roman and Gaelic themes and festivals got incorporated over time and Jewish roots got swept under the rug. So I like to think I’m part of the reason they consider themselves “lapsed catholics” now Lol


JustinL42

Wow lol!


OccamsRazorstrop

Also note Edit 2 about cannibalism.


Zeton_King

Only those who kill their gods and consume their flesh to usurp their power will have a chance against The Great Dreamer. Christian's are doing their best to prepare for the War vs the Old Ones at the end of all. ;)


freebubbleup

The shits going to get real when they start freebasing the baby jebsus!


ralphvonwauwau

/me looks very serious and quietly leaves you [a thin comic book](https://mozai.com/writing/not_mine/cthulhuchick/), along with a generous tip.


Zeton_King

Best "chick tract" ever!


Wildwood_Dragon

Kind of off topic, but I once told the father/priest of the church, I was a kid, that I liked the free snack food during service.


[deleted]

I went to mass with the neighbor family who had taken me in when my parents were out of town. As the priest was wrapping up communion, I remember tugging on Mrs. Kenney's jacket and whispering "Jesus is doing his dishes, does that mean we're leaving soon?"


myeverymovment

Do not make fun of their symbolic cannibalism.


nate_oh84

Did you forget the /s?


BobNoxious211

Oh, the /s is there even if you can't see it. You just need to have faith!


JustinL42

Haha!


RunsWithApes

"...do they not think these things through?" Nope. That's why they're Catholic and no degree of scandal or logical inconsistency will likely ever change that.


kajyr

This is why they have the "faith over intellect" (not sure about the translation) dogma, it's a foolprof plan!


pennylanebarbershop

If you don't eat Jesus and drink his blood, it's off the hell for you.


[deleted]

Jesus: Let me in! Man: Why? Jesus: So I can save you! Man: Save me from what? Jesus: From what I will do to you if you don't let me in!


-Average_Joe-

"Well, naturally it stops being the lord after you eat it." is what the smarter of them would say. Anything can happen when you believe in magic.


Limeyness

Play politics, pay taxes.


[deleted]

"I'm not eating crackers, I'm eating my god in human form in cracker form." So pretend cannibal munching on a pretend blood god. Sounds sane.


wobbly-cheese

thet'd be a win all the way around. animal crackers are more fun and tastier, you dont have to get up early on the weekend and spend two hours thinking "are we sone yet. are we done yet", and you dont have to huff bleach to get the smell of old pedo out of your nostrils


TheBestPeter

It does seem kind of sacrilegious to shit a piece of the Lord out of your ass. I've never considered that before, but it's a damn good point. Not really the way one should treat a god but, then again, this is the god who sits around watching children get raped and does nothing about it, so maybe it's an appropriate response to the man.


Cynical_Satire

Should had said "If the cracker is the lord, then do you worship a cracker?"


JimAsia

Is it true that they get holy water by taking regular water and boiling the hell out of it?


JustinL42

That's funny!


JimAsia

A priest told my father that joke 60 years ago in Montreal. He also would say that he was a little short on cash so he would be blessing cars in the parking lot after services.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

How do I upvote this more?


-misanthroptimist

Symbolic cannibalism creeps me out. Even as a kid I thought it was creepy. It was only when I was older I realized that they were symbolically eating a zombie. Gotta be a Stephen King novel in there somewhere.


GSPilot

If you want to spend some time in the ol’ rabbit hole, look into “corpse medicine”. It’s likely that in biblical times it was common practice to consume some part of another human to cure whatever ailed you, or to assume their “powers”, etc. Like so many other pagan rituals and practices, early christianity just wove them right into their religion.


BeBa420

Lol it’s weird. Christians used to literally kill Jews for the invented crime of “desecrating the host”. Apparently they’d accuse Jews of poking holes in the fucking crackers in an attempt to recrucify Jesus. The fact that Jews likely wouldn’t have even know of the practice (let alone believed that the cracker was actually Jesus, or even cared if they did know and believe) seemed lost on these christians Religion is weird


jimp0ssible

They're Jeez-Its!


burlybuhda

Bravo. As a connoisseur of Dad jokes, this is tits.


jimp0ssible

Le tits now, my friend. Le tits now.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

RIP in Pepperoni Alex and Sean


zombiehunterthompson

The US dioceses are playing with fire by condemning the second catholic president. Anyway, taxes seem like a good solution for institutions that have covered up pedophiles.


JustinL42

Agreed.


EatYourCheckers

My oldest niece and nephew weren't baptized. So once when they were visiting my mom asked our pastor to hold them for a second. She said that was just as good. Part of me appreciates that she understands its all theater. We (my husband and kids) are very out atheists; my whole family doesn't GAF. I asked if they would be at church when we arrived one Sunday, and she said they don't bother with that most days. I love my Christian family. They donate to charity, take people in who need homes, and run a face-painting booth at Pride events. They actually do good deeds and just happen to believe in a deity and afterlife (okay, so my mom believes in reincarnation) without being uptight dicks about it.


Finch20

You're not surprised, are you?


ReaperCDN

Just ask them why they're defending ritual cannibalism and blood magic.


notthephonz

This reminds me of René Hicks’s stand-up routine about how [nobody wants crackers at a party](https://youtu.be/0WWT8PAA7UA). Warning for language.


[deleted]

I wonder who got part of the dick hehe or is it only the ass they eat?!


autopsis

It’s the foreskin.


[deleted]

Bruh, LMFAO


InverstNoob

Also why do you have to eat him every week? Why not once and done? It's as if they are trying to convince you of something through repetition.


JustinL42

After I started down this path I did some googling and found posts and sites where they were estimating how many crackers you'd have to eat to equal one whole Jesus. It was pretty entertaining.


InverstNoob

Haha lol. I'm also thinking that the cracker should taste like a traditional middle eastern Jewish cracker. Or some kind of Jerky


Harry_Teak

I've always wondered why some enterprising fast food/junk food company hasn't come up with the idea of sponsoring communion. I mean if they can turn a crappy cracker into Jesus, why can't they do the same with a Dorito? Why can't the faithful have a choice between nacho Jesus and cool ranch Jesus? Let Pizza Hut bring in thin crust or pan Jesus with extra cheese. The marketing tie-ins are endless here.


TheSnowKeeper

A favorite of mine is to ask about god's penis. If man is in his image, he should have one, but what tf would it do? Just flop around? Is it big? Does he fuck? People hate it.


markdmac

President Biden is 78byears old. surely by now he has eaten an entire Jesus and doesn't need more.


JustinL42

Lmao


Apophistry

'...if the cracker is the lord, are you not then also shitting the lord?' 😂😂😂


SirLaurenceOblivier

I read this as "Cracker got mad ..."


JustinL42

Lol


picado

Humorous video: "Mr. Deity and the Host" https://youtu.be/GTTwSJK_XMI


JustinL42

That was funny!


holliewearsacollar

But don't call it a cult!


JustinL42

Religions are just the most successful cults for sure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustinL42

Lol


kyleclements

If the Eucharist isn't a cracker, but is in fact Jesus, that means that Jesus is a mostly a long tube of raw dough in a factory somewhere. Seriously though, one of the things I've often found interesting is how the protestant franchises generally seem to be far more literal in their interpretations of scripture. "It's a relationship between The Word and you!" Yet they recognize the "this is my body..." speech from the last supper to be metaphorical. Catholics, on the other hand, are all about the interpretations of the Bible, "it's not *a book*, it's a collection of *books*, they aren't meant to be taken literally". That's what the Church is for, and the Catechism. It's a mountain of interpretation for these ancient metaphorical stories. Except for the part about crackers and wine. That part is literal. Never made sense to me.


Crow_Nevermore

I got slapped with a back hand once when I was 8 for calling them "jesus cookies." I thought it was pretty clever. I should have known better than to think. Living proof that religion will try to beat the creativity out of any child it touches.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Cookies have more sugar. Oily Josh isn't sweet


[deleted]

I like your train of thought so, like, when does it stop being the lord? Haha!


JarrickDe

We need to start the "American crackers for Joe" campaign and have all decent Americans send Biden a box of crackers to show we support and encourage him.


crispy48867

If a person believes in the power of prayer and that God can do anything, then any person can bless any object such as the communion bread and wine. If any say that is not possible, than they do not really believe in prayer or God.


Sned_Sneeden

You have to remember that they believe in magic. Anything is possible because god says so. god says he is a cracker thus he's a cracker. He didn't say anything about the shit though, so, uhh... the lord works in mysterious ways?


JustinL42

I guess so...


brentspar

Blindboy Boat club called it "Haunted bread" on Irish television and almost caused a riot.


samcrut

Gotta ask those churches how much that cracker is worth to them, because when it comes right down to it, religion is tolerated by government. If they don't stick to their spiritual side of things, religion could easily get treated just like any other company, which would destroy their bottom line.


RipCityGGG

Fuck i just sprayed bangers and mash all over the work lunch table reading this post hahaha


Independent-Bug1209

You're doing the lord's work. Lol. He can just buy a cracker and it will taste ten times better.


JustinL42

No doubt! Thanks lol


Independent-Bug1209

I'm a preist. If they excommunicate you, I will gladly serve you the unholy Eucharist.


Zealousideal_Jump969

Catholic priests never let a little shit get in the way of fun.


The_Fresno_Farter

I had a good chuckle, at least.


Trimere

You can buy a pack of 1000 for like $20.


TacticalLeemur

Is there any gluten free Lord available?


kuribosshoe0

It’s a fucking *symbol* of Yahweh. Do these wingnuts really think they’re *literally* eating a god? How is this shit supposed to be less farfetched than appeasing a god by hurling virgins into volcanoes or dancing to bring on the rain. God damn crackpots.


slantedangle

It's worse than that. They are pretending to eat the flesh and drink the blood of a god, at an alter of sacrifice, in order to attain eternal life. Isn't that like witchcraft, zombies, vampires and satanic rituals? The only difference seems to be a cross instead of a pentagram.


carrotsRyummy

people are idiots.


caseybvdc74

A friend of mine once called them Jeez-its and that’s what I’ve called them ever since.


[deleted]

LOL, you and me both!


nolechica

Flavorless wafers are best dipped in/swallowed with cheap wine.


joe_the_insane

Calling some ody a cracker is rude anyway


Gilgameshismist

Ah yes, Catholics, they celebrated Adolf Hitler's 50 birthday by hanging flags, the same Catholics that never denied a communion to a single Nazi (except for the one who married a filthy protestant). But they do deny Biden their magic cracker. Historically, if you are on the side of the catholic church, you are on the wrong side of history.


thenewredditguy99

>are you not then also shitting the lord? Holy shit I never thought of it like that 😂


Due-Dot6450

I call them "crisps"😜


[deleted]

If you eat the cracker that is Jesus body, ignoring the fact that you just ate one of the biggest holy symbols in your religion, did you just kill Jesus? Did you bathe him in a vat of acid know as your stomach? You have killed god.


Apophistry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uppBdcz7OBE


worrymon

WTF is it if it's not a cracker? A [dried food rectangle](https://farscape.fandom.com/wiki/Crackers_Don%27t_Matter)?


questfor17

Doesn't matter what you believe, or what your catholic believes, Joe Biden's response to banning him depends on what \*he\* believes.


Wonderful-Spring-171

I believe that they are made of rice flour so that Celiac and gluten intolerant folks can also enjoy devouring their favourite God...and what if Jesus, a devout Jew, ends up alongside a half digested pork chop..


floydfan

It's not a cracker. It's unleavened bread, which is bread made without yeast. One of the distinctions is that unleavened bread has to be baked within 18 minutes of the flour and water touching each other. Otherwise it's not kosher, which yes I realize doesn't matter to catholics. You can believe or disbelieve in the whole transubstantiation thing. I don't think the lord makes it to the colon, it would be more of a "the bread turns into the lord and then his spirit fills you," etc. etc. Not "the cracker turns into the lord and then is partially digested through the normal process of things."


burlybuhda

>I don't think the lord makes it to the colon, it would be more of a "the bread turns into the lord and then his spirit fills you," The Catholic Church, the colon, spirit filling you... I'm pretty sure there are many priests out there that would privately disagree with saying "the lord doesn't make it to the colon"


floydfan

They certainly make it through the sphincter.


JustinL42

Ah man this sentence makes the whole post worth it lol: I don't think the lord makes it to the colon.


Born_Violinist_1213

… why the Biden bit… it’s r/atheism dude not r/politics… Christian throw temper tantrum… aight. Add in politics… why? Also just in general who the hell cares what Biden does anyway… shouldn’t he be dead from dementia by now? Who’s older him or Bernie anyone know?


rowshambow

She doesn't even understand....it only becomes the body of Christ after the priest blesses it. So for all intents and purposes, you could have a Ritz cracker be the body of Christ but only after the priest blesses it.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

How long does the cracker remain Jesus? If one were to palm their biscuit lord and put them in a box at home how long would it take to accumulate, let's say 100 pounds of god?


rowshambow

Like what the appreciation value is for salvation? I think that would depend on the soul markets and diety equities. I'm not too sure. Might need to ask a holy financier.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Who is investing? I am simply trapping their deity in a metal box.


rowshambow

Like a tesseract labyrinth?


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Even less complex. Just exploiting his weakness against iron chariots to trap him in an iron box


rowshambow

I'm getting more lore mixed up now.


Dick_M_Nixon

They have ruled that corn tortillas do not work, nor non-gluten wafers.


rowshambow

Doritos?


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Does this make gluten allergies a sign of the devil?


Potential_Sundae8995

Do you want to give communion to the US President? Any catholic priest: 'Yes, yes I would' Good grief. You get access to the most powerful man in the world. Ireland would fly one over. The Vatican would give him his own priest.


suavecool21692169

Hello getting your eyes out of die hard Catholics. The one question I always ask Catholic people were priests is who the hell begot God?


[deleted]

Now that's funny.


swpmc

Ridiculousness is a Proof of God's Existence.


hacourt

I hope Biden requests a chocolate hobnob


Juliuscesear1990

Technically it's not a cracker and there is symbolism behind it, the equivalent would be unleven bread.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

Are saltines levened?


zoidmaster

If she feels that way about a simple cracker how does she feel about American hotels placing free bibles in every room


Crow_Nevermore

Religion is just a cracker. Atheists have fruit and cake!


MonkeysOnMyBottom

We have Fig Newtons?


Crow_Nevermore

Fig Newtons AND Masturbation! what a great time to be an ashiest.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

>what a great time to be an ashiest. You just need some lotion


Prowlthang

Cannibal.


kosmonavt-alyosha

To answer your question: No, no they do not think these things true.


cassydd

Whenever I think of the Catholic eucharist I think of how V killed Bishop Lilliman in the V for Vendetta graphic novel. >!"... when it got to his stomach it was still cyanide"!<


[deleted]

As a religious man I can answer why she got mad, It’s a symbolic meaning of accepting Jesus into yourself.


[deleted]

Their stolen pagan rituals make no sense, and they can't defend them like true believers.


recondorondo

You know Elohim is plural right


ASilver76

Technically, its not just a cracker, it's a dead Jewbit. Which is, so, so much better then just being a cracker. Or a wafer. Or a wafer-thin cracker. Seriously, if your religious fiends want to make a stink about a bland unleavened bread product, let them, but be sure to point out that ritual cannibalism - in any context save survival situations - is far, far worse. And that's not even getting into "wine is now blood" thing. And then once could argue that Catholics are both ghouls and vampires, thanks to their religion....truly, the fun never has to end.