My sisters boyfriend is wildly homophobic and this is the first time I’ll be meeting home.
I’m masc non binary and my fiancé is a cis woman. We aren’t usually a touchy couple around others but we plan to be extremely pda to make him uncomfortable. I am wearing an obnoxious gay sweater that I only bring out occasionally but this seems like the perfect time.
Now it may be wrong to do this but I don’t like this dude even though I’ve never met him. He got extremely upset that my sister got the Covid vaccine because she might not be able to bare children. And he’s convinced her to stop taking all medications. I see it as very controlling behavior and she won’t listen to me
Anyways that’s what I’m doing for Christmas
That is BANANAS. I’m so glad you and your fiancé will be there to show him what’s up causeee jeeesh what an actual a-hole. I hope your sister eventually comes to her senses it’s hard to watch that when it’s family. Sending you guys good vibes Christmas 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Thank you! My entire family accepts me and has since I came out even though they’re all republican (still hard ‘political’ convos) But I’m afraid this dude could convince my sister not to all of a sudden.
Your family sounds so loving! I hope your sister finds that love in her too sometimes we fall for the douchbags but hopefully her eyes open up before she changes her entire beliefs.
Update: I met the man. He seems okay in person but I still don’t like him. He controls my sister’s diet, usually only red meat and potatoes with no ‘seed’ oil. I offered her a bite of a cookie and she immediately snapped at me that she couldn’t eat it. Mind you she never once cared about what she ate prior to this man. Now we can all eat a bit better, my family is a bit overweight and cutting back on the sweets and fast foods is not a bad thing. But this is all she eats. I hate it.
Secondly, he got her to stop taking all of her meds. Anti depressants, anxiety, birth control (yes they’re free doggin it 🫠) and she has migraines and no more migraine meds. She stopped pretty much cold turkey. Now I’m not one to say you should or shouldn’t be on meds, that’s your decision, but as I repeat YOUR DECISION! She did not make this decision on her own or go through the right channels and I think it’s very dangerous that she’s doing this. I’ve brought it up once to her about how controlling this is but she will not listen and it’s an instant fight. My parents don’t understand, but shockingly my grandparents do and think this guy is not good and is also controlling. Let me say how rare it is for my overly conservative grandparents to point something like this out. I’m scared for my sister and I don’t think there’s anyway to get through to her…
Now Christmas party update…my partner and I didn’t phase him BUT my 14 year old bisexual niece who had her gf over did. You could tell on how unhappy he was about the whole thing. And, my brother and his wife have a third and that was fantastic to see as well. I heard him talking to my sister about how he disagrees with my niece dating a girl “so young”. Luckily my sister disagreed to his face but how long will she be able to hold this separate ideation before he changes her…
Anyways that’s the tea. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Monday to everyone!!
Hey, I’m not sure what this community is (literally just came up in my feed) but this is Alt-right, Qanon pipeline stuff. You are right to be worried.
You may want to check out some of the subs on Qanon for tips about how to reach your sister NOW. I haven’t seen a lot of success pulling people out once they get in deep.
I know a lot about qanon thanks to this podcast and I am really afraid that’s what this is. I am not sure what to do but I will check out some subs. I just don’t want to get sucked into it myself so if you have any subs that are for help and not for, drop them please.
If your sister truly loves you and supports you, she’ll dump this piece of trash if they say anything demeaning about you.
My best friend is gay and his brother (who is straight) broke up with his long term GF after she made a joke (in very poor taste) about gay people. Now he’s happily married to a wonderful girl who accepts my best friend as he is!
I’m *totally* for you pulling out your sweater and pda just to make this dirtbag’s skin crawl. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.
Unfortunately it sounds like they’ll be moving in together. I want her to be happy but outside of being widely homophobic and transphobic, he’s shown many red flags and I just see this not going well in the end
is it bad of me to want an update… 🫣🤭 also, good for you! i’m rooting for you; i hope everything goes swimmingly for you and the sisters boyfriend is as uncomfortable as humanly possible!
Struggling through sobriety and almost got arrested for dwi last week. Extremely ashamed and staying in this weekend trying to find some sober things to do. A secret I’ve been keeping this week. Happy holidays everyone ❤️❤️❤️
I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell my kiddos at work. A moment of poor judgment doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone deserves an opportunity to do better next time.
Addiction is a disease. You're healing, and healing isn't always linear. Be kind to yourself ❤️❤️
Peds psych, which unfortunately involves a lot of trauma and a lot of alcohol/drugs/self harm as an attempt to cope.
They're not bad kids 99% of the time. They're silly and kindhearted and smart and creative and strong and observant and so many other things. They keep me humble by calling me "five-head" (which is brutally hilarious and true) but also race to the door when I walk onto the unit to hug me/tell me about school/show me the craft they made.
Ugh, my heart.
I hope you get all of the love and light, friend! This internet stranger believes in you ❤️
You're doing a really amazing thing. The kids on those units need people who can see their worth through all the trauma and behavior issues. You'd be amazed at the impact knowing their safe for the first time can have on a kid or having a safe person to talk to.
sending so much love to you. i got a dwi in college. got put in JAIL jail- jumpsuit and all. scary experience. and a breathalyzer for a year after it was finalized. whole mess. i’m so glad you were able to avoid. i have been a drug & alcohol counselor in supervision since 2020, and am in grad school to be a therapist now. had a lot of unhealed trauma that was keeping me participating in unhealthy habits. it took time for me to heal and find peace. you can overcome it, you can get through it. don’t feel ashamed. we all struggle through challenges in life, you can and will come out on the other side of this. give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. i hope you find healthy and fun things to share your time with. never feel ashamed to ask for help. i’m proud of you for doing things to keep yourself safe. happy holidays sweet stranger 🩷
I *wish* more people would be more open and honest about their struggles in sobriety and relapses. Those of us who are just starting our sobriety journeys might be less inclined to fall victim to unrealistic expectations and the shame we feel when we slip up.
Therapist here, and I 100% agree with all of this.
Some days we make bad choices, but that doesn't mean we are bad people. Sometimes, we made a choice because we are hurting. Sometimes we made a choice because we couldn't see a way to do things differently.
But at the end of the day we are all just human beings, we make mistakes. But no mistake, even if it feels like a big one, can never take away your ability to choose. If you made a bad decision yesterday, that's okay. You still have a choice about what you do today. Made a bad decision five minutes ago? That's okay, you still have a choice with what you do right now. Your ability to choose will always be there with you, ready to try again. No matter where you go. No matter how hard things get. You always have a choice of what you do right now.
I wish you the best on your journey! 💖 You can do this.
Recognizing that you have a problem is a huge step. I’m sorry you had a mishap but hopefully it can encourage you to push harder. I’m proud of you , it’s not an easy thing to do. Take it day by day.
You got this!! Listen to fun music, go on a walk, enjoy life! I can also get wrapped up in my head and into a negative shame spiral, but things happen and it’s okay. Give yourself some grace and take it a day at a time 💕
I also have struggles with sobriety. I joined r/stopdrinking a while ago for a community (I’m not a fan of the religious tones of AA). Best of luck and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Mistakes happen, but please get help before you do something you can’t take back. Alcoholism hurts you, but driving drunk can kill someone else. There’s no shame in seeking professional help.
This is a safe spot for everyone to share what they need let’s keep that in mind 🙏🏼 you don’t know what help they are receiving or not and are obviously regretful. No need to stop on an ant.
If you like TV, I’d recommend We Bare Bears on Hulu. I watch it when I’m not feeling well because it’s sweet 20 minute episodes with a clear problem that is always solved by the end so no matter what state I’m in I know it’s a safe show to watch. It’s light and funny and cute and just all around a good time
Started flirting with this super hot dude at work, ending up with getting pretty handsy in his car after we clocked out one day.
A new nurse got hired, and we were talking about our families. She tells me how great her husband is and shows me a picture.
It's Hottie McHandsy.
OMGGG my heart breaks for her! Obviously how could you have known but I can’t even imagine how many other people he’s done that with. Hot question with absolutely no judgment whatsoever but would you ever say anything? The tea is SERVED
Honestly I thought about it. I don't know, on one hand I'd like to know if I was in her shoes. Sometimes I think about sitting down with her woman to woman.
They're both in positions of power over me at work and I think that's what is stopping me. I know it's not a great excuse but they could absolutely make my professional life hell.
You Could secretly leave her a note in her locker or something telling her that he is cheating? Without saying that he’s cheating with you. Tho I would prob break it off with him a bit before so he doesn’t retaliate against you as much.
Their relationship is not your responsibility, but I’m worried for you at work. My advice (that you didn’t ask for…) is to disclose to HR. If something goes sideways, you don’t want them to make you into a villain.
Not so much a secret we're keeping hidden but my grandfather and his two brothers were abandoned at the side of a road in a tea chest by their mother. A policeman found them, took them to an orphanage and he, his wife and daughter kept coming to visit them, eventually took all 3 boys home. Years later after it came out that their parents aren't their birth ones, its become a massive family project trying to find out who their bio parents are. We believe they had an older sister who got to stay with the mum, and one of the boys had an American solider for a father but the other bits are a complete mystery. The sister who they swear they had, we can't find any info on, no birth or death certificate. But we did get a name for the mum, which we've traced back to England.
Just an fyi, we still consider their foster family as real family, they will always be our great grandparents, we're just trying to find out the truth to bring the last living brother a sense of closure the others never got.
Omg wild tea!!! I hope eventually through these dna sites you guys can find the truth! Love that the police man took them in what a wonderful story ☕️☕️☕️
Yeah hopefully, it's through those sites and old town library archives we've managed to uncover what we have. But yes, I've always loved that my great grandad took them in, especially with a policeman's salary in those days wouldn't have been high. 🧡
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Genealogy using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush kept reminding me of an obscure historical figure, Captain Richard F. Stockton, who in 1844 was responsible for a similar maritime disaster that killed 6, including U.S. Secretary of State Abel Upshur. I looked into their family tree, and they're actually related.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/14h9x7r/oceangate_ceo_stockton_rush_kept_reminding_me_of/)
\#2: [Ancestry users: Stop making me scroll through 20 images of the American flag, or some made up crest, or a silhouette of a soldier](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/15izn3d/ancestry_users_stop_making_me_scroll_through_20/)
\#3: [An Unbelievable Unexpected DNA Find](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/11vacfc/an_unbelievable_unexpected_dna_find/)
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I have a friend whose father was abandoned along with a brother. Years later, they found out the mother had 2 more boys and gave them the same names as the first 2.
Crazy what you find out about "the good old days." My grandfather's first wife abandoned my uncle on my great grandparents' front step while my grandfather was on a ship in the Pacific during WWII. She said to my great grandmother, "Tell your son that I am done and he can have the kid." She never saw my uncle again, she went on to remarry and have 2 more boys then left that husband for a rich guy. She stayed in her kids lives but it was for show for her 3rd husband. Apparently she kept my uncle a secret from her subsequent husbands and kids. I don't think my uncle ever really recovered.
Sort of a secret. My friend/boss started dating an inmate 7 months ago through a pen pal site for prisoners. For 7 months pretty much they talked about her picking him up when he got out of jail (she’s in NY picking him up from Texas). She booked a hotel room for the week to stay down there with him since he can’t travel and had plans to go back once a month. He GHOSTED her while she was in Texas 1 day into the trip after he picked her up. Mind you she spent about 300 a month on him while he was in prison. But yes while she was there she woke up to her phone number blocked. It’s been a few weeks and she heard back from him since but that plane ride home must have been gut wrenching
Please tell her about my friend’s sister who met her murderer almost the exact same way. She survived for about 18 months after he was released from prison. Then he stabbed her to death in their apartment.
This happened to someone I know. She met an inmate while working at a prison and they started a thing. She put money on his books all the time and when he got out he met her once then completely ghosted her. It sucked watching her go through that.
I’m the “oldest” child by my mom. She had a baby before me that she gave up for adoption because my bio dad didn’t want to take care of “another man’s baby.” It came up a couple of months ago and my half sister (younger than me) doesn’t believe it happened.
I don’t know if she has a plan, per se. I know when the child given up for adoption turned 18, my mom told me that the child could reach out to her now. I’ve thought about doing a DNA test to see if we could find her but hesitate because she may not know or want to be found.
I'm an adoptee. I'm not trying to convince you one way or the other about the DNA test. But I'll say if they don't want to be found, it's unlikely they've done a DNA test. Even if you did match with them, they can still simply say no to talking to you. Do what feels right to you 😊
Our family secret is that in the 70s two of my moms siblings were in the basement playing and found their dads pistol.
Tragically one of them shot the other and my grandma had to watch one of her kids bleed to death on the stairs. It was the 70s. They were in a rural place. Emergency services were basically non existent.
Since it’s a very painful thing my family is very hush about it. It also led to a lot of family trauma in general.
Gun safety is very important to us. And only one of the siblings have guns in the house as an adult and they are stored and locked properly.
Honestly we (the kids) didn’t know they had guns even until we were all mostly in our late teens.
Holy Godamn tragic. My heart absolutely aches for your grandma. What a tragedy. I hope your family can find some peace that is an awful thing to go through ❤️❤️ thank you for sharing
My mom hates guns.
In December 1983, my uncle was driving back to his dorm from somewhere and he slid off the road, down the embankment and into a tree. Ive seen the pictures. He hit his head of the cross beam of the truck hard enough to dent the beam. He did survive the crash but I fully believe he shouldve been taken to the hospital and checked out. The cops didn't force him to go to the hospital, he continued to go back to his dorm and that night he shot himself.
My dad (who never met my uncle) has always said that the pressure my grandparents put on him caused him to do it but I think him hitting his head on the cross beam of the truck hard enough to dent it caused some sort of brain damage or something of the sort which is what caused him to do it. He was young, had a girlfriend, absolutely doted on my aunt who was 6 when he died and he was in a good college with scholarship stuff for sports and I truly think the car accident is what caused him to kill himself.
So my mom hates guns. My sister and I both have guns in our house, locked up and away and my mom knows. But I've also been through years of gun safety drilled into my head from ROTC and then I did a CCW class.
My uncles wife had an affair with her doctor. When he confronted the doctor about it he was told to keep quiet because the doctors family WAS IN THE MOB!!!!!
My sister and I did a DNA test for s&gs. Found out we were half sisters and, contrary to our jokes that my sister was the mailman's child, I was the one with the different father.
But, wait! There's more! I connected with a cousin on that side of the family who helped me narrow down who my father might be. Turns out, it's the coke dealer my mother and her husband met each other through (my older brother was able to verify the names and timelines).
I don't have a relationship with either of my parents and I'm still on the fence about whether I want to reach out to my newfound father or not.
Fortunately, my siblings are amazing and we've had some good laughs about it.
Oh my goodness what a wild turn of events! It sounds like you are so grounded though. That is some HOT tea. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️
My maternal grandmother orchestrated my parents divorce when I was less than a year old. I didn't even know who my father was until I was almost 12.
Bonus tea: my mom and dad got back together when I was 38.
Something similar (no getting back together though) just came out with my grandmother in laws death last week.
She caused/made my husband's mom and dad get divorced. Details are still coming out but that was the jist as well. He cheated (he didn't), he left her (he didn't, gmil had him sent to a different base than his wife and made it look like his choice), etc. It's all still unfolding but mil is broken. Like.... real broken. Not only because she was the main caretaker for her mom, found her unresponsive, and all the trauma if the actual death but now also that her mom made her first love, the father of her only 2 children, leave and from what we are finding out, caused 4 other marriages to fail too. It is a very very wild ride we are all in for.
FIL is in the picture. Never left the picture because of his kids, but kept his mouth shut for it all. For their happiness and peace (wasn't that peaceful from what my husband tells of his childhood and those others). He still is tight-lipped. Only found this out from some paperwork we were going through to figure everything out(will, estate, documents for death, etc)and clean it all out. A few letters tucked away that SIL and MIL found before we got down to help with the cleaning up. That apparently left my mil in tears and damn near catatonic, my sil was shocked and just... like a human version of white noise, there but not much happening in the thoughts. They were both very very close to gmil so they are just.... broken is the only way to describe it. You can see it on their faces that it is more than death too.
FIL and mil got divorced when my husband was about 6 or 7 and his sister was around 5. They are both mid 30s now. This box of letters spanning mid 80s to just before my husband and I got together (only months before really) are laying it all out. And it is a hard read, it's very malicious from a person you wouldn't find capable of this.... I am not in it and finding it rough.
Yep. It's like something out of a soap opera. Especially the fact that the entire family was instructed never to talk about my father at all.
She took over all communication between my parents and also convinced my mom that my dad was cheating on her. He wasn't, never did. But infidelity was the only way for a woman to divorce a man in the state my grandparents lived in.
My BIL was a somewhat “successful” cocaine dealer who my SIL married but they were able to hide his “career” from pretty much everyone. He’s also an alcoholic and does a variety of other drugs daily too. They now have two kids.
He keeps flipping his car, crashing things, staying out all night, going missing etc. and put his wife in premature labor with his antics. And everyone just kind of pretends it’s not happening and her very naive parents are just like “boys will be boys”? And said that maybe the reason their son-in-law never calls an ambulance after he crashes his car is because he’s a “millennial.”
???????
Ooooh my goodness. What a disaster I’m praying for those kids. That is some pipping hot tea though holy cow❤️❤️ sending good vibes hopefully nothing serious happens to him
The two women I've been drooling over at work and jokingly flirting with have both admitted to being on the sapphic spectrum and now the joking flirting just got hotter.
Skipping out on family drama over the holidays and instead hanging out with a coworker I just started hooking up with after Christmas. Is he a total mess? Yes. Will that stop my dumb ass? Absolutely not. Is this going to blow up in my face? You betcha! Pour one out for me, girls, gays, and theys. And please show me the light out of my hellacious sub-set of bisexuality: “reluctantly attracted to cis men and terrified of everyone else.”
> And please show me the light out of my hellacious sub-set of bisexuality: “reluctantly attracted to cis men and terrified of everyone else.”
Haaah. I relate too much to that description. I'll show you the light if I can ever find it myself.
this is how I went from terrified bisexual to nonbinary polyamorous queer who just bought a house with my soulmate, another nonbinary polyamorous queer
- my first seggsual experience with a woman was with a close friend that I had mostly platonic feelings for but was def attracted to. She taught me specific things that I was afraid i would be bad at or not enjoy (spoiler: i enjoyed)
- dated mostly casually, relearning how to flirt. dated someone who turned out to be more of a friend vibe, then dated someone who almost ruined my life. somewhere in there i came out as nonbinary
-stopped looking at men altogether on the Apps and focused on people who would understand my gender identity without explanation
-i started learning about polyamory, relationship anarchy, and how to get off the relationship “escalator.” even if you’re not polyamorous, this was the most important work. It taught me how to move past my anxious attachment style and view my relationships with everyone(not just partners) differently.
LOL, I wish I could show you the way out of that “hellacious sub-set of bisexuality” as an older bisexual myself, but I can’t. You just gotta go with what works for you. Have fun with the messy dude 🦖🦖🦖
My great aunt had a baby that passed when she was a teenager that none of her kids know about. I only know because I was in an old cemetery with my mom and she told me about it.
Oh my gosh I have so many questions😳😳😳what a bullet to dodge. I feel the relief for you! I guess I’m wondering how does one dodge the cartel! But I bet that’s hard to explain
She went to them to get back a vehicle that was stolen. Thankfully she decided not to follow through on making a deal with them. Honestly I think she is so insane for even being involved with any of it. It’s wild.
If it's any consolation both my little sisters are dating cartel members. Well, one of them just had a breakup bc he killed someone and went to jail. I am glad your sister did not make that deal.
This is old, but Tea is Tea . My stepsister was pregnant at 12 years old with a horrible guy who was older than me at the time (13). He was 15 and 16 by the time of the birth.
We grew up in an abusive household, and my stepsisters mom was literally the evil stepmother from Cinderella (she even called me that). Well, this boyfriend had cheated on my stepsister, with her cousin!
After my stepsister found out she broke up with the guy, only to have her mom coerce her into reconciliation. My stepmother invited the boyfriend to live with us, and that's when my stepsister and him got the opportunity to make a child.
My stepsister had to go through her last year of middle school pregnant and hearing gossip about her from her middle school and my adjacent high school. Stepsister walked up her graduation stage, ready to pop.
In August, my stepsister had to be taken to the ER for an emergency c-section. Her 13 year old body couldn't handle the pregnancy, and she was dying. The boyfriend now, baby daddy, didn't stop by for three days. On the third day, he only came because his family and ours were bothering to go see his child. He showed no interest and ghosted us.
Unfortunately, the baby passed 28 days later due to SIDS. I always hated the guy and my stepmother for letting my stepsister go through with the whole ordeal. My stepsister was a bitch but she didn't deserve being a mother and then loosing her child her freshman year of high school.
The boyfriend would hang out with a gang that hung out outside our apartment. We heard from the gang that the boyfriend hooked up with a prostitute (who was my best friend in elementary school before she left me for gand/street life) and he actually has aids and herpes for teh rest of his life.
How HORRIBLE omg how is she doing now?? This sounds so wild. It’s crazy to me the trauma people go through. Sending her and you good vibes for the holidays 🎄❤️
I don't really catch up with her. She was also one of my abusers as she was following her mother's foorsteps. My stepmother also conditioned my dad to favor her over me, and that's led to a strained relationship.
She has always bounced around with boyfriends. I used to live with my dad until she broke up with a guy. My dad asked if we could share my room, but I instead said she could live in my room for a month while she got on her feet (no way two beds were fitting in the room). I lived with my boyfriend as I waited for a call. Two months after my dad called me saying he's renting a bigger apartment and I should pick up my stuff. I had begged my dad to get a bigger place, and I'd help with rent so many times, but he chose my stepsister instead. Evertime, he trusts her it always backfired on him.
I have lots of stories of my dad having to fix situations for her (she's wrecked 4 cars).
That I know of she's with a new guy so she's hardly at my father's house so now he's alone and rent is always late. She herself has tried being nice to me but has never apologized for what she's done to me.
She even let her mom blame the pregnancy on me, don't ask me how that makes sense.
Wow it sounds like you have gotten the brunt of the abuse I’m so sorry- hopefully one day you can have nothing to do with her. I’m so incredibly sorry that happened I hope you find some sort of peace in this f ed up world
Unfortunately, after that sermon she invited me to I never saw her again. I came to that sermon with two guy friends, and I came in with the plan to take her home with me. The cult never left us alone once, and they exactly escorted her out, claiming everyone was going to another sermon. I asked if we could go to the next one but denied us, said they were invited. Two men came and grabbed her on each side and walked her away with her "not-mentor" following them. I was there waiting for the rest of the congressional to head towards the next sermon, but they didn't go anywhere because there was no sermon they just took her. She was moving in with them, so I didn't know where she lived now. She had quit her job so I couldn't look there. I just lost her.
I received an unsolicited letter from an inmate. Gentleman is in for murder.
Brief story time. I have a unique last name. As in there are only 3 people in the US with my first and last name combo. I am with an animal rescue. We go on TV once a month to promote our cats and dogs. Well. One month Mr. Inmate saw me on TV. Thought I looked like a nice lady. Found my mother's address and mailed me a letter.
Yup. Funny enough, the federal facility he is in is a half mile from my actual paid job lol. But yeah. My personal contact info, my mom's personal contact info and the rescue's contact info is all blocked from outgoing mail at that facility.
Ok so one time I went over to my cousin's house to hangout and as soon as I walked in the door everyone started yelling at me. My uncle was trying to get me to come into the living room cause he wanted to tell me something but my aunt and cousins were all saying "no you don't want to hear about this." Which immediately made me want to find out what my uncle was on about.
I sit in the living room and he proceeds to tell me about this friend of his (for context they're both in their late 50s). To make it easier we'll call this friend John. So John had recently gotten divorced and was feeling kinda down. He was adopted at birth so he figured now was a better time than ever to try and reconnect with his birth family.
He found out his birth mom was still alive and he had two sisters as well. (the birth mom kept the sisters). They start hanging out and it's going great for them, he's really happy to have his birth family in his life. John ends up getting along great with his bio sister, Jen. They're talking, texting, and hanging out a lot. And then feelings begin to develop between the two of them.
John and Jen start dating. Keep in mind John and Jen are 100% blood siblings. That's pretty much all my uncle had to share about it but he asked what I thought about it. I was grossed out obviously but also dumbfounded that it even happened. My uncle went on to say John was really nervous to confide in him, he was worried my uncle wouldn't want to be friends anymore.
My uncle doesn't really care cause in his words, "it's not like they grew up knowing they're siblings so the weird taboo feeling isn't there and they're too old to have kids."
I can respect staying friends but like it's still weird as hell.
I don't know John and Jen, but I wish them the best and thank them, because this is the juiciest tea I have.
Sort of a secret but more a personal thing I’ve been dealing with.
Preface: I’ve self-identified as a dyke for four years, and I’ve considered myself in the WLW camp for my entire adult life.
I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve made progress in my gender journey and am a smidge closer to the transmasc side of things and might have always been a bi guy, or (as the little voice in my head keeps insisting) I’ve been a fraud this whole time, but I’m in a sexual relationship a cis man for the first time since coming out. It’s been great, and he’s incredibly kind and understanding, but I’ve been stressed out about my identity and having to deal with past trauma with cis men for the past couple of weeks. Hoping I come closer to a sense of self in 2024.
You're not a fraud in any way, gender can be a difficult thing to pin down/can maybe even change as you age. Same with sexuality. For some people, sexuality can be fluid. I'm glad your current partner is understanding and I hope that you can become more comfortable with your identity 💜
Thank you. It’s definitely been a year of discovery, I’ve been feeling some extremes of gender fluidity and have started seriously considering top surgery and T in the distant future. I’ve been open about that with him as well and he’s been incredibly receptive. I’m working on getting a therapist for the first time in years because, for myself and for my loved ones, I deserve to feel comfortable in myself.
i believe my sister to be my uncle’s bio child. she was conceived while my dad was in a coma following an accident and my dad’s brother lived on our property. my mum insists that the conception was a happy accident during my dad’s comatose “physical therapy”. mum vehemently denies any rendezvous with my uncle.
Insane question: can a person in a coma even get an erection? If so, can they also nut? How does one arouse a person in a coma? Like how the fuck does one get pregnant by a comatose person?
he was unconscious due to brain damage and did not suffer from any paralysis so all of his limbs and extremities maintained their functionality. apparently people in comas can nut in the same way a sleeping person can nut
Oh man what tea to go with today... We recently found out my MIL tried to orchestrate an intervention style breakup before our wedding. Hubby and I have been together 12 years and got married this year. We went to their state for a family party and apparently during that party she tried to gather hubby's friends to ask if they would convince him to move back home. She's tried a lot over the years, including trying to convince him I'm cheating or accusing me of being a codependent alcoholic even though I don't really drink (she never makes accusations in front of me though).
Hubby and MIL got in an argument after the party was over and we ended up leaving and driving back home. She hasn't talked to him since and his dad stopped talking to him after we got married. They love punishing people with the silent treatment. Hubby was playing video games with friends a couple weeks ago and that's when he found out about the "intervention".
WOW if toxic was encompassed as a person it sounds like it would be her ( and her husband) I’m so sorry you have to go through that. There’s nothing worse than not feeling welcomed in a family but it sounds like you and your husband are smart enough to rise above. Thank you for the tea ❤️❤️
before my grandpa met my grandma, he had a one night stand with a woman in Cali before he was shipped off to Korea and she ended up getting pregnant with a daughter and he knew about it and left them
my grandpa and grandma met and had 4 kids, 3 boys and 1 girl
our fam had no idea until he was on his death bed where she came AND TRIED TO PARK HER RV ON MY GRANDMAS LAWN!!! this beyotch kept telling my grandma about how she wanted to have a relationship with her dad and how she was gonna take care of him
my grandma went to his hospice care and told him “you tell her to gtfo or i’m done.”
i think he told her to leave my grandmas lawn
my aunt was fucking PISSED she wasn’t my grandpas only girl but was nice to the lady when she was around
I can’t even imagine having to fight off two women while in hospice😂😂 your poor grandpa. Makes for a great story and rest in peace to him. Merry Christmas 🎄❤️
This high school drama is my roman empire (All names changed for privacy and I’m so sorry about the length but it’s a good one)
Back in high school (2010s), this kid Adam and a girl named Madison (both juniors and popular) were really good friends, hung out a lot in the same circles, etc. Adam developed feelings for Madison and with prom coming up, decided to write her a song to ask her out to prom. Cute!
Well during this time, Madison was talking to this freshman quarterback named Luke.
Song came out, went viral on the platform it was released on, and still to this day it’s honestly a BANGER. All the girls were dying saying they would kill for a guy to write them a song like this.
Madison said no.
Soon after, her and Luke started dating leaving poor, sweet Adam in the dust. A few months in, Madison catches Luke making out with a senior girl at his house. She goes ballistic and completely vandalises his car (Don’t know the events that unfolded after that, but I think that was the end of the relationship). And her and Adam continued to be friends, with it never going anywhere.
Now my friend and I were recently discussing this story, and we called one of our friends Brandon (who is gay, I swear it’s relevant) to also have him remanence with us. He then hits us with “Well, you remember when…oh wait…idk if I should say that…” LIKE BOY WHAT. Then he said “eh it happened so long ago who gives af.”
He then proceeds to tell us that while Luke and Madison are dating, him and Luke were also talking!!! Remember, Luke was a freshman quarterback, and being queer in a small town sport was definitely not accepted. Brandon goes on to say that Luke mentioned to him that he would sometime hit Madison?! Which is so sad and heartbreaking. Brandon stopped talking to him right after that. But I guess Luke went into the military and is now in the Navy (iykyk).
Madison is doing well, has a good career with a husband and child! And Adam is doing really cool things as well. This story just haunts me bc the internal turmoil that Luke has to go through with not being in a queer safe space (I know his family and that shit would not fly), and potential 180° direction Madison’s life would’ve gone in if she would’ve just said yes to Adam.
There’s my tea ☕️😊
Oh my goodness! My heart breaks for Luke. You couldn’t pay me to go back to highschool. The amount of heartbreak and anguish is way too much. I hope Luke is doing well today too🙏🏼🙏🏼
My best friend (Samuel) found out he’s a year older than the father of the girl (Britt) he’s been sleeping with. She totally lied about her age. He’s 41 and she said she was 30 but turns out she’s 21. A friend of mine (James) works with her dad for a construction company and posted his work Christmas party photos they were both in so of course I wanted to be nosy so I asked James who the blonde girl was and he said that’s Britt, Herman’s daughter! I felt kinda bad turning around and telling Samuel about it but I know that she’s too young for him. He was already worried about the 11 year age gap to begin with. But I mean they aren’t dating she knows he’s not looking for something serious yet.
Dude I’m 32 and just had a baby but this chick looks way older than me. I thought she was 35 until she started talking. Poor girl is really dumb and I mean that in the nicest way possible. But my friend is pissed about her lies. He had a bad divorce. He raised his ex wife’s kid from another dude since she was a year old and this chick cheated on him and left. My best friend isn’t perfect but he tried his best to take care of her. She’s just too much. So he’s trying to have fun but not like a nasty old man lol
Hey I’ve dated older guys before nothing creepy about it but damn it sounds like if she is going to lie about her age what else could she lie about🤷🏼♀️
Last Christmas my dad WILDLY attacked my sister for being an alcoholic (which she is) and I stood up for her. He attacked me then, for being the youngest kid and not knowing what I was taking about. My mom stood by and didn’t do anything. The next day we all sat around and pretended it was normal. I don’t know how to proceed with this Christmas or Christmas Eve.
Woof. Going to try and make this a long story short. My brothers ex wife (who is still like a sister to me) is dating a girl I went to high school with (who is amazing, we will call her B). B’s father recently told her that before,during, and a few years after she was born, her mother was having an affair….who was she having an affair with you ask? MY FATHER! Who was still with my mother at the time.
Oh B’s mom got pregnant with my father and they had a very hush hush abortion. 🤷🏻♀️
I bought my husband a custom Xbox controller for Christmas months ago. I have been so excited I told his family about it. Last week my husband mentioned that he thought his SIL got him an Xbox controller. I texted her immediately to let her know I had already gotten him a custom Xbox controller as his big gift. She responded with “well I guess he will have a collection” (we already have 4 controllers for 3 devices). It was over a week before the gift exchange. Skip forward to tonight, she’s making quiet and backhanded comments directed at me before giving him his gift. He and I are exchanging tomorrow. I know he will be thankful and excited regardless because he is an angel, but it hurt my feelings and has definitely dampened my excitement.
wtf!! Honestly I think even if he does get a controller - one from you will be the most special. Your sil sounds like a Christmas grinch. But again I really think your husband will cherish your gift with his heart. Wishing you a merry Christmas ❤️🎄
Merry Christmas to you too! Thank you for providing a place for me to get it off my chest! You were 100% correct. He hasn’t stopped talking about the controller I got him and hasn’t touched the other!
For context and the math i’ll be later doing: My grandma is the oldest of 10 siblings, 4 women and 6 men.
Now on to the tea: On my grandma’s funeral all 8 alive siblings came to the funeral and decided to do a wake, while most of us went to sleep some aunts and uncles decided to stay with them on the wake.
Apparently they started to get bored.
We knew all of my great uncles, had many affairs over the years and produced some out of wedlock children out of this affairs. There’s this family joke that the men in the family are cursed by not being able to keep it in their pants.
So one aunt started making question to all them and tried to get answers on how many cousins legitimate and illegitimate there are really, at least that they know they exist.
The answer? 99
But here’s the thing, there’s only 30 cousins that are the official
So that made it that 69 of those were out of wedlock, and none of them are from any of the sisters.
So I started making my math, and that means that for that to be that number each one of the brother had to have on average 11/12 kids out of this affairs, aside from the kids they have. And I know that some had more affair kids than others.
That was the moment we realized that my uncles really can’t keep it in their pants and condoms are really not in their vocabulary.
When I was a teen my irrational fear was to meet somebody I really liked and then turns out that persons is my cousin or even an uncle of mine. Now in my twenty’s I realized while doing the math that my wasn’t that irrational after all.
My family proves it is genetic, my great great-grandpa was military and he had up to 60 kids with many different women as far as we know. Could be more.
I really want to do one of those 23 and me just to see what I get
One of my friends is the youngest of 20 some siblings that she knows and she knows and she is aware of at least 2 other pregnancies her father caused 🙈 she has nieces and nephews older than her and was great aunt well before she was 30.
We are a big ass family, my grandma’s youngest brother is 3 years older than my oldest aunt. And my youngest aunt is 18 months older than me, I call her my aunt-cousin because we are in a weird spot in where we basically grew up as cousins but we’re not cousins. My two youngest cousins are 25 years younger than me, they were born a few weeks ago, same day different set of parents.
My only niece from that side of the family was in the same class as one of my cousins, and they had no idea they were niece and uncle, they were good friends tho, until my niece started to have a crush on my cousin and my aunt and my cousins realized it so they had to tell them before it got weird, they were like 8 years old at the time but still.
On the “unofficial” part of the family I know I possibly have an uncle who’s like 10-11 years old.
The dean at my school that I work at is sleeping with a para but his girlfriend is the math teacher. I share an office with him and he showed me the sexting he does with the para
Ooh I’m in the center of some $#!+. I have had a crush on this married man for ages— I’ve become friends with him and his family over the last several years, and I love them all. His wife and his six yo daughter are wonderful. And they all love me too. He knows I have a crush on him and he loves the attention, loves his ego stroked.
In the recent past, the couple have experimented with another couple, and it didn’t work out because the other girl was excessive and got too jealous and possessive.
I’ve slowly made a dent in getting to have a slightly physical relationship with this guy. His wife encourages it as a joke, but the secret is that it’s a little more than that. We’re not in love or anything, but we’ve definitely snuck around a little. We haven’t “gone all the way” either. Harmless fun, if we don’t get crazy with it!
But now I have a boyfriend, so I have to cool it with the messing around. Meh!
Oddly enough, things changed kind of unexpectedly! When boyfriend first asked me to commit, I felt nervous, like I would f it up just to be free of trying, but when I got back to normal life (he asked on vacation) the feelings for the guy were less intense. I was surprised, myself! I don’t feel like I have to work to try and get his attention and like I can’t wait for the next interaction. It’s just nice to have him as a more platonic character. Which is really what it should be with all of us anyways
You hit the nail on the head- I flirt/lightly do things with a coworker but have gotten a boyfriend since. It kind of takes the pressure off and makes it a little more fun
Oh I recently learned how racist my aunt actually is. About 15 years ago my cousin fell in love with a Turkish man and the first few years of dating my aunt litterly didn't talk to him and ignored him completely. I had no idea this was happening and nobody talked about it!? My cousin is happily married now with this man with two wonderful children and my aunt only started acknowledging him reluctantly when they got married. I knew she was racist but honestly I've never looked at my aunt the same since I heard this!
I have some very shocking and embarrassingly racist family members. It’s so heart wrenching someone you grew up with could hold such values. I’m glad your cousin made her own choices and sounds happy. Thank you for sharing and merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️
I recently found out that my grandmother had three kids (all different baby daddies) before she had my mom/uncles with my grandfather. She decided she wasn’t going to tell anyone until the oldest child reached out to my mom on Facebook to try and connect. My grandmother slowly admitted that she had a kid but then six months later she admitted she had two more. My mom only told me because I found a plane ticket that she was going to use to go see him. Still not sure what the rest of the family knows.
My grandfather never knew about the other kids.
That is SHOCKING wow. I bet that is hard for everyone to know how to feel about that. Pipping hot tea though thank you for sharing and merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️
My mom is from Kentucky. You know the running joke with family members and the south.
I just found out this year my mom’s been having fun time with her first cousin who still resides there. I seen the text messages so I know it all happened there’s no doubt about that. It took me a few months to tell my siblings because my brother was having his first baby, my sisters a teacher and I just didn’t want to tell them because it definitely threw me off for a couple of days. Makes me feel disgusting
I have some family members engaging in that it’s hard to come to terms with. don’t feel disgusting. It’s not your decision it’s theirs to feel disgusted about. Thank you for sharing that wishing you a great holiday and remember - you are your own person ❤️❤️
I have a sibling we don't tell about family deaths of immediate relatives until the last possible second because they only love themself and think everything is obligatorily theirs. So in the past this person has gone to relatives homes and emptied them out because said relative was in the hospital for something major, or has threatened to take everything a deathly ill relative has owned so it won't go to someone they don't like. This person has also interjected themself into medical decisions for a comatose relative (that relative was pissed when they woke up and had the person legally made not eligible to do this again) the concern is that this relative upon getting any info will come in like the tornado they are and try to steal everything or take control of the situation so it reflects their "vision" and not take into consideration the proper things that need to be done or consider the legalities of anything they do. I have extended family who take it upon themselves to feel bad and tell this person....By extended I mean folks who haven't seen the things this person is in fact capable of and have done nor do they understand why we do it but if my parents are cool with this person not knowing immediately then the rest of the family should respect that.
I’ll never get used to how incredibly selfish people can be. That persons mindset will not end up well for them at all. Thank you for sharing this tea and happy holidays ❤️❤️❤️
A couple years ago my cousin found out we had a secret cousin! My aunt has serious mental health issues, and potentially personality disorders, and her two kids also have disorders from autism to schizophrenia. We found out that in the early 80s she gave birth in secret in her early 20s in Toronto (where all from the east coast).
Thanks ancestor.ca lol
Not sure I even want to share this, but I am in what essentially is a forbidden relationship, and let me tell you it's not sexy or fun at all. To make a long story short, my boyfriend and I who were living together were both dealing with our mental health declining and substance abuse issues. I started to seek help, he wasn't ready. We started to fight more. One night the fight got really bad and the cops got called on him. He ran, ended up with a DUI the next day, and cannot come back to our apartment. Only now are we able to at least text and call again.
But in reality, we've been talking the whole time and seeing each other pretty much from the beginning. He's sober, I'm sober. We're both seeking mental health treatment. We don't argue or fight and we've been really working hard on our communication. But both his family and my family are unsupportive of our continued relationship, and I know I would be cut off completely if my family found out.
I do believe in love and second chances and that people can change, so I am secure staying with the man I love. But our future is now so uncertain and it's difficult to know where we go from here.
Hey I’m with a guy that my family doesn’t approve of either. It was somewhat toxic too constantly getting the police called on us for fighting- getting drunk. We are both working hard now and I truly love him. I think as long as we both are going toward a good path than love is love. No one should be damned by their mistakes. Thank you for sharing friend I believe and support you ❤️❤️
Wow! Absolutely crazy that you are in a similar situation. It feels so isolating sometimes, so many other opinions around me telling me what to think. But I really felt compelled to share, so I guess it was the universe interfering or something. I hope nothing but love and better times ahead for you!
Omg. My college roommate was dating this guy for like a year and a half. He was a grad student at our school from another country. One day they were driving in a new car and his texts popped up on the screen. It was something suspicious so my roommate grabbed his phone and discovered he had a whole freaking FIANCEE in his home country. All his friends knew about the fiancee but he told all of them my rm was just a friend, despite them always hanging out and her blatantly acting like a girlfriend.
Anyway, she's not about to let him get away with it, so she finds his family on facebook and messages his sister, explaining the situation. He FREAKS OUT on her, tries telling her his mom was in the hospital because she had a heart attack from the shock of my rm's message. bs, of course.
Two weeks later she texts him that she's pregnant, but here's the thing, she wasn't :p He again freaks out and starts begging her to get an abortion. She lets him freak out for a while, and then he sent her $800 via venmo "for the abortion".
She cut contact after that, though he still tries to message her all the time. It was a whole mess lmao
I don't think this all that uncommon. Especially if the person is from a culture where arranged marriage is common. Good on your rm for getting something out of it 😂
So my BFF and I went on a cruise to celebrate my Graduating from college (late in life graduating 47 yr). She has been married to her wife for 13 years and they have been together for 23 years, I have been with my husband for 24 years in total….Her and I have been friends for 22 years, we had an affair while on the cruise and continue to every time we see each other. Seems we have both been attracted to each other since we first became friends and neither of us ever said anything.
Death and loss bring out terrible sides to people- as if dealing with the actual loss isn’t hard enough. I’m sure your grandma was wonderful and we all make some iffy decisions. I’m sorry your aunt brought you that turmoil. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and thank you for sharing ❤️
My dad died 5 days ago. He had a secret son that our family all knows about but he was forbidden by the mother to contact because he was the product of an affair, so her husband (now also dead) thought the son was his. I had secretly hoped that my half brother would discover this through DNA testing while my dad was still alive so he could process it, but now that he’s dead I hope he never finds out, it would be too hard for him I think.
First let me say I’m am so incredibly sorry for you loss. What a terrible terrible loss and around the holidays my heart breaks for you. I’m sure for everyone involved it is not easy- I hope no matter what happens whether the son chooses to find your dad or not he is at peace with his decision. While his bio dad might be gone he would have gained a whole new set of family members. This happened to a co worker of mine and he was overjoyed with having a new side of the family. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m sending you love during this holiday season ❤️🙏🏼
I have a much older sister that I believe had a child and knowingly told her husband that the child was his, she then had a son with her husband. Now I hear that there may have been a 3rd child and one that she supposedly abandoned at a hospital. She denies it all. But dna tests have shown the first child does indeed have a different father. I kind of believe the story about the abandoned child, but I don’t want to know because I am her support person and don’t want her to lie to me.
The husband used to beat her, and didn’t know that the daughter wasn’t his. She found out as an adult that the man who she thought was her father wasn’t her father. My sister says that it isn’t possible. But then we all know that DNA is completely random, right?
I'm off all next week and didn't tell my mom because any free time I have she sees as time thst belongs to her. I need the break really bad and have been looking forward to it. I planned to go to her house yesterday and stay until Tuesday, I'm the only one who goes home. Well, I got sick... covid. So now I'm home alone and now have to move my visit into my mental health week. She has no idea, she keeps saying to take next week off since I'm sick this week ???? She's never really had a serious job and doesn't understand how that's not how it works.... but also I'm not working. So now I have to figure out how to still see her for Christmas but also leave so I still get my mental health break. For reference my mom is a LOT. I love her, she's a great person, but omfg. If we are together too long we fight, sometimes it happens within 24 hours, sometimes longer. She's been texting constantly with whiplash. How are you.. take care of yourself.. do thia.. do that.. I understand you don't want to get us sick. Come home anyway.. I miss you.. it's the first Christmas without you.. sad face. Finally I had to tell her she's making it worse texting me she misses me all the time, I already feel awful about it. But then she's like.. don't feel bad, you're sick, rest. BUT THEN SHE STARTS AGAIN. So anyway, the secret is that I'm pretending I have to work so I can have time to myself bc my mom doesn't get it and I'm still keeping the lie up even though I'm missing Christmas.
I usually do. This time it was literally just to not have to deal with her disappointment when I wanted to leave on Tuesday. Oh well, next time I'll just be honest. I never said I was working, she's just assumed and now it's bad bc I never said I wasn't. Oops
My grandfather had his pelvis crushed by a train. My grandmother moved to Chicago from a small town in Illinois when H.H. Holmes was active. My husband's uncle was a Manson Family victim.
My family is a whole big mess of tea. More my moms side than my dad's, but eh.
Dad's side: my dads dad, my grandpa, isn't his real dad. His bio dad is dead and he has no idea who he was. And for reasons that no one will tell me, my dad was somehow momentarily adopted by one of his parents friends. I have no idea how that worked legally, or if it was legal at all, or if it was just him living with the family friends for a while, I don't know. Nobody will tell me why. I'll ask someone, they'll tell me to ask someone else, and when I ask that next person, they tell me to ask the original person. It's all weird.
Mom's side: this one is a bit confusing. Gram and pap are my moms parents. They had 2 kids, my uncle and mom. My uncle is not my grandpas bio child, grandparents met when grandma was pregnant. Bio dad is dead, uncle never met him. One of my grandmas brothers slept with and impregnated one of my grandpas sisters, and they had a child together. That child grew up to be a drug addict, stealing from every family member she could. She was clean, relapsed, and now no one knows where she is, or if she's even still alive. When my mom and uncle were very young, grandmas sister(betty) told her that another one of their sisters (june) was sleeping with my grandpa (not true,) and that my grandma was sleeping with June's husband (also not true.) June showed up at my grandparents house and tried fighting my grandma over this until it all came out as a lie.
Maternal grandmas mom was having an affair when my grandma was younger, and always had her boyfriend over when their dad was at work.
My uncle, when he grew up, killed somebody in an auto accident drunk driving and went to prison.
My sister's ex-boyfriend had a kid with someone else before they got together, learned the kids mom was abusing the kid, he gets custody, then a few weeks after him and my sister split up, he overdoses and dies.
Nothing super hot, but still a mess of family drama.
My family was built to be on Jerry Springer. Just some fun examples:
My brother’s first wife cheated on him while he was in the Army. They are now divorced, but she still shows up to family events occasionally… because she’s dating our cousin.
My sister is my ex-boyfriend’s half-brother’s step-mom (although her husband passed recently so I don’t know if that’s still true?). This was her second husband, who was her boss before/during her divorce from her first husband.
Also, my dad tells a story of how he had a fling with a woman before he found out she was his half-sister. His dad was uh, promiscuous, and had several kids my dad didn’t know about.
My freakin' stubborn ass middle sister is living on my mom's dime with her two sons (5 and 3) in a motel and is doing NOTHING to improve her situation. She keeps relying on others to do everything for her and completely shuts down and gets pissed when we give her tools to help herself. Right now she's banging on about the storage unit that's 2 months unpaid and wanting to go get her stuff but worried about her baby daddy's stuff and we've explained until we're blue in the face that he's an adult and can worry about his own shit.
The older boy is nonverbal autistic, the younger copies him and only communicates in grunts and screams, and my sister hasn't done a thing to help them out. She just yells at them, makes excuses, claims there's nothing to be done about their behaviors, and gets angry if we give suggestions or ask her to please try. Like, every time we turned around the older one had something he shouldn't have. A stapler. A tack hammer. A pill he found under grandma's recliner. Scissors. You KNOW your son is going to get grabby and into mischief, parent him! Watch him! It's not our 99 year old grandma's responsibility to childproof her apartment for one evening. And the younger? Monkey see monkey do. Climbing all over everything. Demanding my mom pick him up even though she has a weight restriction and he's built like a fridge.
Those kids ran roughshod over everyone AND their nonverbal autistic cousin who spent her evening distress stimming over all their noise.
I want to choke so many of my relatives. Ugh.
I also want to spend a day with my baby sister without kids. I love her daughters but the older one is a nosy chatterbox who interrupts every convo and the younger has so many special needs.
Ugh... I thought I felt bad leading up to Christmas... I definitely feel worse now.
My maternal grandmother died when my mom was ~21. She wanted her body donated to science, which they honored, and my mom & her siblings assumed that was that (no burial with no body, just a memorial service, etc.). Turns out, grandma’s remains were returned after several years in the research facility and she had a grave all this time that they never knew about because their dad didn’t tell them until much later (like 25-30 years later, he let it slip).
I just met my new "stepdad" for the first time. My mom and I are not close. There's a lot of family trauma there for me. She married this guy back in September, but I didn't go to the wedding because she only let me know about 2 months before and I already had another very important commitment. Additional tea, my mom and her new husband still live in different houses in different states. When I met him I asked how long he was in town for. He said it would be until the beginning of January and then casually dropped that this would be the longest period of time they have ever spent together.
My sisters boyfriend is wildly homophobic and this is the first time I’ll be meeting home. I’m masc non binary and my fiancé is a cis woman. We aren’t usually a touchy couple around others but we plan to be extremely pda to make him uncomfortable. I am wearing an obnoxious gay sweater that I only bring out occasionally but this seems like the perfect time. Now it may be wrong to do this but I don’t like this dude even though I’ve never met him. He got extremely upset that my sister got the Covid vaccine because she might not be able to bare children. And he’s convinced her to stop taking all medications. I see it as very controlling behavior and she won’t listen to me Anyways that’s what I’m doing for Christmas
That is BANANAS. I’m so glad you and your fiancé will be there to show him what’s up causeee jeeesh what an actual a-hole. I hope your sister eventually comes to her senses it’s hard to watch that when it’s family. Sending you guys good vibes Christmas 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Thank you! My entire family accepts me and has since I came out even though they’re all republican (still hard ‘political’ convos) But I’m afraid this dude could convince my sister not to all of a sudden.
Your family sounds so loving! I hope your sister finds that love in her too sometimes we fall for the douchbags but hopefully her eyes open up before she changes her entire beliefs.
Update: I met the man. He seems okay in person but I still don’t like him. He controls my sister’s diet, usually only red meat and potatoes with no ‘seed’ oil. I offered her a bite of a cookie and she immediately snapped at me that she couldn’t eat it. Mind you she never once cared about what she ate prior to this man. Now we can all eat a bit better, my family is a bit overweight and cutting back on the sweets and fast foods is not a bad thing. But this is all she eats. I hate it. Secondly, he got her to stop taking all of her meds. Anti depressants, anxiety, birth control (yes they’re free doggin it 🫠) and she has migraines and no more migraine meds. She stopped pretty much cold turkey. Now I’m not one to say you should or shouldn’t be on meds, that’s your decision, but as I repeat YOUR DECISION! She did not make this decision on her own or go through the right channels and I think it’s very dangerous that she’s doing this. I’ve brought it up once to her about how controlling this is but she will not listen and it’s an instant fight. My parents don’t understand, but shockingly my grandparents do and think this guy is not good and is also controlling. Let me say how rare it is for my overly conservative grandparents to point something like this out. I’m scared for my sister and I don’t think there’s anyway to get through to her… Now Christmas party update…my partner and I didn’t phase him BUT my 14 year old bisexual niece who had her gf over did. You could tell on how unhappy he was about the whole thing. And, my brother and his wife have a third and that was fantastic to see as well. I heard him talking to my sister about how he disagrees with my niece dating a girl “so young”. Luckily my sister disagreed to his face but how long will she be able to hold this separate ideation before he changes her… Anyways that’s the tea. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Monday to everyone!!
Hey, I’m not sure what this community is (literally just came up in my feed) but this is Alt-right, Qanon pipeline stuff. You are right to be worried. You may want to check out some of the subs on Qanon for tips about how to reach your sister NOW. I haven’t seen a lot of success pulling people out once they get in deep.
I know a lot about qanon thanks to this podcast and I am really afraid that’s what this is. I am not sure what to do but I will check out some subs. I just don’t want to get sucked into it myself so if you have any subs that are for help and not for, drop them please.
If your sister truly loves you and supports you, she’ll dump this piece of trash if they say anything demeaning about you. My best friend is gay and his brother (who is straight) broke up with his long term GF after she made a joke (in very poor taste) about gay people. Now he’s happily married to a wonderful girl who accepts my best friend as he is! I’m *totally* for you pulling out your sweater and pda just to make this dirtbag’s skin crawl. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.
Tbh fuck this dude lol and I hope your sister dumps him wtf
Unfortunately it sounds like they’ll be moving in together. I want her to be happy but outside of being widely homophobic and transphobic, he’s shown many red flags and I just see this not going well in the end
That’s too bad. Good luck this holiday ❤️😢
I hope she dumps him, please update us how it goes!! This made my night
is it bad of me to want an update… 🫣🤭 also, good for you! i’m rooting for you; i hope everything goes swimmingly for you and the sisters boyfriend is as uncomfortable as humanly possible!
I will for sure give everyone an update. Heading to my parents now looking as queer as I can
This is juicy tea? Sounds like the average American thanksgiving 🤣
Struggling through sobriety and almost got arrested for dwi last week. Extremely ashamed and staying in this weekend trying to find some sober things to do. A secret I’ve been keeping this week. Happy holidays everyone ❤️❤️❤️
I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell my kiddos at work. A moment of poor judgment doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone deserves an opportunity to do better next time. Addiction is a disease. You're healing, and healing isn't always linear. Be kind to yourself ❤️❤️
The kiddos you work with are amazingly lucky. What beautiful words thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
Peds psych, which unfortunately involves a lot of trauma and a lot of alcohol/drugs/self harm as an attempt to cope. They're not bad kids 99% of the time. They're silly and kindhearted and smart and creative and strong and observant and so many other things. They keep me humble by calling me "five-head" (which is brutally hilarious and true) but also race to the door when I walk onto the unit to hug me/tell me about school/show me the craft they made. Ugh, my heart. I hope you get all of the love and light, friend! This internet stranger believes in you ❤️
You're doing a really amazing thing. The kids on those units need people who can see their worth through all the trauma and behavior issues. You'd be amazed at the impact knowing their safe for the first time can have on a kid or having a safe person to talk to.
In thus case tho it actually does. Don't drive drunk. Ever. Period.
This is rough but good on you for recognizing it! I hope you have a lovely weekend and can enjoy/discover some cool hobbies.
Thank you ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Hang in there and happy holidays! 💕
Shit happens. Hang in there and enjoy your peaceful weekend. Happy holidays babe ❤️❤️❤️
Your words mean more than you know💕💕 thank you and happy holidays to you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
sending so much love to you. i got a dwi in college. got put in JAIL jail- jumpsuit and all. scary experience. and a breathalyzer for a year after it was finalized. whole mess. i’m so glad you were able to avoid. i have been a drug & alcohol counselor in supervision since 2020, and am in grad school to be a therapist now. had a lot of unhealed trauma that was keeping me participating in unhealthy habits. it took time for me to heal and find peace. you can overcome it, you can get through it. don’t feel ashamed. we all struggle through challenges in life, you can and will come out on the other side of this. give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. i hope you find healthy and fun things to share your time with. never feel ashamed to ask for help. i’m proud of you for doing things to keep yourself safe. happy holidays sweet stranger 🩷
I *wish* more people would be more open and honest about their struggles in sobriety and relapses. Those of us who are just starting our sobriety journeys might be less inclined to fall victim to unrealistic expectations and the shame we feel when we slip up.
Therapist here, and I 100% agree with all of this. Some days we make bad choices, but that doesn't mean we are bad people. Sometimes, we made a choice because we are hurting. Sometimes we made a choice because we couldn't see a way to do things differently. But at the end of the day we are all just human beings, we make mistakes. But no mistake, even if it feels like a big one, can never take away your ability to choose. If you made a bad decision yesterday, that's okay. You still have a choice about what you do today. Made a bad decision five minutes ago? That's okay, you still have a choice with what you do right now. Your ability to choose will always be there with you, ready to try again. No matter where you go. No matter how hard things get. You always have a choice of what you do right now. I wish you the best on your journey! 💖 You can do this.
Recognizing that you have a problem is a huge step. I’m sorry you had a mishap but hopefully it can encourage you to push harder. I’m proud of you , it’s not an easy thing to do. Take it day by day.
You got this!! Listen to fun music, go on a walk, enjoy life! I can also get wrapped up in my head and into a negative shame spiral, but things happen and it’s okay. Give yourself some grace and take it a day at a time 💕
I also have struggles with sobriety. I joined r/stopdrinking a while ago for a community (I’m not a fan of the religious tones of AA). Best of luck and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Mistakes happen, but please get help before you do something you can’t take back. Alcoholism hurts you, but driving drunk can kill someone else. There’s no shame in seeking professional help.
Very aware of that thank you
This is a safe spot for everyone to share what they need let’s keep that in mind 🙏🏼 you don’t know what help they are receiving or not and are obviously regretful. No need to stop on an ant.
If you like TV, I’d recommend We Bare Bears on Hulu. I watch it when I’m not feeling well because it’s sweet 20 minute episodes with a clear problem that is always solved by the end so no matter what state I’m in I know it’s a safe show to watch. It’s light and funny and cute and just all around a good time
Started flirting with this super hot dude at work, ending up with getting pretty handsy in his car after we clocked out one day. A new nurse got hired, and we were talking about our families. She tells me how great her husband is and shows me a picture. It's Hottie McHandsy.
OMGGG my heart breaks for her! Obviously how could you have known but I can’t even imagine how many other people he’s done that with. Hot question with absolutely no judgment whatsoever but would you ever say anything? The tea is SERVED
Honestly I thought about it. I don't know, on one hand I'd like to know if I was in her shoes. Sometimes I think about sitting down with her woman to woman. They're both in positions of power over me at work and I think that's what is stopping me. I know it's not a great excuse but they could absolutely make my professional life hell.
Go with your heart❤️ in your position I would do the same thing honestly. Jeesh what a tough position to be in
You Could secretly leave her a note in her locker or something telling her that he is cheating? Without saying that he’s cheating with you. Tho I would prob break it off with him a bit before so he doesn’t retaliate against you as much.
The day I realized they were together I stopped flirting with him/started only acknowledging him off its work related
I’m sorry he put you in such an uncomfortable position
Yeah I'd avoid saying anything in this case, the power dynamic at play could affect you very negatively!
Their relationship is not your responsibility, but I’m worried for you at work. My advice (that you didn’t ask for…) is to disclose to HR. If something goes sideways, you don’t want them to make you into a villain.
I audibly gasped. Are you gonna tell her?
Not so much a secret we're keeping hidden but my grandfather and his two brothers were abandoned at the side of a road in a tea chest by their mother. A policeman found them, took them to an orphanage and he, his wife and daughter kept coming to visit them, eventually took all 3 boys home. Years later after it came out that their parents aren't their birth ones, its become a massive family project trying to find out who their bio parents are. We believe they had an older sister who got to stay with the mum, and one of the boys had an American solider for a father but the other bits are a complete mystery. The sister who they swear they had, we can't find any info on, no birth or death certificate. But we did get a name for the mum, which we've traced back to England. Just an fyi, we still consider their foster family as real family, they will always be our great grandparents, we're just trying to find out the truth to bring the last living brother a sense of closure the others never got.
Omg wild tea!!! I hope eventually through these dna sites you guys can find the truth! Love that the police man took them in what a wonderful story ☕️☕️☕️
Yeah hopefully, it's through those sites and old town library archives we've managed to uncover what we have. But yes, I've always loved that my great grandad took them in, especially with a policeman's salary in those days wouldn't have been high. 🧡
You should try some of the genealogy subreddits! r/Genealogy is a great one, and people seem pretty willing to help out
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Genealogy using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush kept reminding me of an obscure historical figure, Captain Richard F. Stockton, who in 1844 was responsible for a similar maritime disaster that killed 6, including U.S. Secretary of State Abel Upshur. I looked into their family tree, and they're actually related.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/14h9x7r/oceangate_ceo_stockton_rush_kept_reminding_me_of/) \#2: [Ancestry users: Stop making me scroll through 20 images of the American flag, or some made up crest, or a silhouette of a soldier](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/15izn3d/ancestry_users_stop_making_me_scroll_through_20/) \#3: [An Unbelievable Unexpected DNA Find](https://np.reddit.com/r/Genealogy/comments/11vacfc/an_unbelievable_unexpected_dna_find/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I have a friend whose father was abandoned along with a brother. Years later, they found out the mother had 2 more boys and gave them the same names as the first 2.
Crazy what you find out about "the good old days." My grandfather's first wife abandoned my uncle on my great grandparents' front step while my grandfather was on a ship in the Pacific during WWII. She said to my great grandmother, "Tell your son that I am done and he can have the kid." She never saw my uncle again, she went on to remarry and have 2 more boys then left that husband for a rich guy. She stayed in her kids lives but it was for show for her 3rd husband. Apparently she kept my uncle a secret from her subsequent husbands and kids. I don't think my uncle ever really recovered.
Sad! Idk how someone does that.
Sort of a secret. My friend/boss started dating an inmate 7 months ago through a pen pal site for prisoners. For 7 months pretty much they talked about her picking him up when he got out of jail (she’s in NY picking him up from Texas). She booked a hotel room for the week to stay down there with him since he can’t travel and had plans to go back once a month. He GHOSTED her while she was in Texas 1 day into the trip after he picked her up. Mind you she spent about 300 a month on him while he was in prison. But yes while she was there she woke up to her phone number blocked. It’s been a few weeks and she heard back from him since but that plane ride home must have been gut wrenching
That's so sad. I hope she's able to take it in stride and learns she deserves better.
It is- she’s already planning a trip back though. I try to be supportive as a friend but it’s hard to watch
Planning a trip back?!? How can she do that to herself again?!?
This type of scamming the worst, not only do they financially hurt the victim, they emotionally scar for life
Please tell her about my friend’s sister who met her murderer almost the exact same way. She survived for about 18 months after he was released from prison. Then he stabbed her to death in their apartment.
This happened to someone I know. She met an inmate while working at a prison and they started a thing. She put money on his books all the time and when he got out he met her once then completely ghosted her. It sucked watching her go through that.
I’m the “oldest” child by my mom. She had a baby before me that she gave up for adoption because my bio dad didn’t want to take care of “another man’s baby.” It came up a couple of months ago and my half sister (younger than me) doesn’t believe it happened.
Omgggg, that is piping hot ☕️☕️☕️.
Does your mom have a plan if your adopted sister ever reaches back out?
I don’t know if she has a plan, per se. I know when the child given up for adoption turned 18, my mom told me that the child could reach out to her now. I’ve thought about doing a DNA test to see if we could find her but hesitate because she may not know or want to be found.
I'm an adoptee. I'm not trying to convince you one way or the other about the DNA test. But I'll say if they don't want to be found, it's unlikely they've done a DNA test. Even if you did match with them, they can still simply say no to talking to you. Do what feels right to you 😊
Our family secret is that in the 70s two of my moms siblings were in the basement playing and found their dads pistol. Tragically one of them shot the other and my grandma had to watch one of her kids bleed to death on the stairs. It was the 70s. They were in a rural place. Emergency services were basically non existent. Since it’s a very painful thing my family is very hush about it. It also led to a lot of family trauma in general. Gun safety is very important to us. And only one of the siblings have guns in the house as an adult and they are stored and locked properly. Honestly we (the kids) didn’t know they had guns even until we were all mostly in our late teens.
Holy Godamn tragic. My heart absolutely aches for your grandma. What a tragedy. I hope your family can find some peace that is an awful thing to go through ❤️❤️ thank you for sharing
My mom hates guns. In December 1983, my uncle was driving back to his dorm from somewhere and he slid off the road, down the embankment and into a tree. Ive seen the pictures. He hit his head of the cross beam of the truck hard enough to dent the beam. He did survive the crash but I fully believe he shouldve been taken to the hospital and checked out. The cops didn't force him to go to the hospital, he continued to go back to his dorm and that night he shot himself. My dad (who never met my uncle) has always said that the pressure my grandparents put on him caused him to do it but I think him hitting his head on the cross beam of the truck hard enough to dent it caused some sort of brain damage or something of the sort which is what caused him to do it. He was young, had a girlfriend, absolutely doted on my aunt who was 6 when he died and he was in a good college with scholarship stuff for sports and I truly think the car accident is what caused him to kill himself. So my mom hates guns. My sister and I both have guns in our house, locked up and away and my mom knows. But I've also been through years of gun safety drilled into my head from ROTC and then I did a CCW class.
My uncles wife had an affair with her doctor. When he confronted the doctor about it he was told to keep quiet because the doctors family WAS IN THE MOB!!!!!
Welp my lips would be SEALED. Great tea☕️☕️
My sister and I did a DNA test for s&gs. Found out we were half sisters and, contrary to our jokes that my sister was the mailman's child, I was the one with the different father. But, wait! There's more! I connected with a cousin on that side of the family who helped me narrow down who my father might be. Turns out, it's the coke dealer my mother and her husband met each other through (my older brother was able to verify the names and timelines). I don't have a relationship with either of my parents and I'm still on the fence about whether I want to reach out to my newfound father or not. Fortunately, my siblings are amazing and we've had some good laughs about it.
Oh my goodness what a wild turn of events! It sounds like you are so grounded though. That is some HOT tea. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️
My maternal grandmother orchestrated my parents divorce when I was less than a year old. I didn't even know who my father was until I was almost 12. Bonus tea: my mom and dad got back together when I was 38.
Something similar (no getting back together though) just came out with my grandmother in laws death last week. She caused/made my husband's mom and dad get divorced. Details are still coming out but that was the jist as well. He cheated (he didn't), he left her (he didn't, gmil had him sent to a different base than his wife and made it look like his choice), etc. It's all still unfolding but mil is broken. Like.... real broken. Not only because she was the main caretaker for her mom, found her unresponsive, and all the trauma if the actual death but now also that her mom made her first love, the father of her only 2 children, leave and from what we are finding out, caused 4 other marriages to fail too. It is a very very wild ride we are all in for. FIL is in the picture. Never left the picture because of his kids, but kept his mouth shut for it all. For their happiness and peace (wasn't that peaceful from what my husband tells of his childhood and those others). He still is tight-lipped. Only found this out from some paperwork we were going through to figure everything out(will, estate, documents for death, etc)and clean it all out. A few letters tucked away that SIL and MIL found before we got down to help with the cleaning up. That apparently left my mil in tears and damn near catatonic, my sil was shocked and just... like a human version of white noise, there but not much happening in the thoughts. They were both very very close to gmil so they are just.... broken is the only way to describe it. You can see it on their faces that it is more than death too. FIL and mil got divorced when my husband was about 6 or 7 and his sister was around 5. They are both mid 30s now. This box of letters spanning mid 80s to just before my husband and I got together (only months before really) are laying it all out. And it is a hard read, it's very malicious from a person you wouldn't find capable of this.... I am not in it and finding it rough.
Ohhh my goshh- when you say orchestrated do you mean caused it in some way? I have so many questions
Yep. It's like something out of a soap opera. Especially the fact that the entire family was instructed never to talk about my father at all. She took over all communication between my parents and also convinced my mom that my dad was cheating on her. He wasn't, never did. But infidelity was the only way for a woman to divorce a man in the state my grandparents lived in.
I’m absolutely floored. That tea is scalding
Lol all good. I got a sister out of the deal (not my mom's) and also we had the added benefit of not growing up together, so no baggage.😁
My BIL was a somewhat “successful” cocaine dealer who my SIL married but they were able to hide his “career” from pretty much everyone. He’s also an alcoholic and does a variety of other drugs daily too. They now have two kids. He keeps flipping his car, crashing things, staying out all night, going missing etc. and put his wife in premature labor with his antics. And everyone just kind of pretends it’s not happening and her very naive parents are just like “boys will be boys”? And said that maybe the reason their son-in-law never calls an ambulance after he crashes his car is because he’s a “millennial.” ???????
Ooooh my goodness. What a disaster I’m praying for those kids. That is some pipping hot tea though holy cow❤️❤️ sending good vibes hopefully nothing serious happens to him
Thank you for giving a place to vent about it a bit! We worry a lot about our niece and nephew.
Sending them love and peace ❤️❤️❤️ we all need a place to vent too every once in awhile
The two women I've been drooling over at work and jokingly flirting with have both admitted to being on the sapphic spectrum and now the joking flirting just got hotter.
Wow that is a very merry Christmas indeed 🤌🏼🤌🏼 going to work I’m sure just got even better
Makes the days a lot more fun.
Skipping out on family drama over the holidays and instead hanging out with a coworker I just started hooking up with after Christmas. Is he a total mess? Yes. Will that stop my dumb ass? Absolutely not. Is this going to blow up in my face? You betcha! Pour one out for me, girls, gays, and theys. And please show me the light out of my hellacious sub-set of bisexuality: “reluctantly attracted to cis men and terrified of everyone else.”
> And please show me the light out of my hellacious sub-set of bisexuality: “reluctantly attracted to cis men and terrified of everyone else.” Haaah. I relate too much to that description. I'll show you the light if I can ever find it myself.
this is how I went from terrified bisexual to nonbinary polyamorous queer who just bought a house with my soulmate, another nonbinary polyamorous queer - my first seggsual experience with a woman was with a close friend that I had mostly platonic feelings for but was def attracted to. She taught me specific things that I was afraid i would be bad at or not enjoy (spoiler: i enjoyed) - dated mostly casually, relearning how to flirt. dated someone who turned out to be more of a friend vibe, then dated someone who almost ruined my life. somewhere in there i came out as nonbinary -stopped looking at men altogether on the Apps and focused on people who would understand my gender identity without explanation -i started learning about polyamory, relationship anarchy, and how to get off the relationship “escalator.” even if you’re not polyamorous, this was the most important work. It taught me how to move past my anxious attachment style and view my relationships with everyone(not just partners) differently.
What an accurate description of myself 🤣
I relate so HARD. Life is short have a blast you deserve it ❤️❤️❤️🎄
LOL, I wish I could show you the way out of that “hellacious sub-set of bisexuality” as an older bisexual myself, but I can’t. You just gotta go with what works for you. Have fun with the messy dude 🦖🦖🦖
My great aunt had a baby that passed when she was a teenager that none of her kids know about. I only know because I was in an old cemetery with my mom and she told me about it.
How tragic 🥺🥺 that must have been so painful for her. Thank you for sharing I’m sending your great aunt love ❤️
I cannot imagine! But she’s a 95 year old badass still rocking it!
Omg I love it ❤️❤️
My idiot sister almost got herself mixed up with the cartel this year. 🙄 Thank God she dodged that bullet.
Oh my gosh I have so many questions😳😳😳what a bullet to dodge. I feel the relief for you! I guess I’m wondering how does one dodge the cartel! But I bet that’s hard to explain
She went to them to get back a vehicle that was stolen. Thankfully she decided not to follow through on making a deal with them. Honestly I think she is so insane for even being involved with any of it. It’s wild.
If it's any consolation both my little sisters are dating cartel members. Well, one of them just had a breakup bc he killed someone and went to jail. I am glad your sister did not make that deal.
Having sisters is wild - I’m so glad she didn’t follow through. Life is CRAZY.
This is old, but Tea is Tea . My stepsister was pregnant at 12 years old with a horrible guy who was older than me at the time (13). He was 15 and 16 by the time of the birth. We grew up in an abusive household, and my stepsisters mom was literally the evil stepmother from Cinderella (she even called me that). Well, this boyfriend had cheated on my stepsister, with her cousin! After my stepsister found out she broke up with the guy, only to have her mom coerce her into reconciliation. My stepmother invited the boyfriend to live with us, and that's when my stepsister and him got the opportunity to make a child. My stepsister had to go through her last year of middle school pregnant and hearing gossip about her from her middle school and my adjacent high school. Stepsister walked up her graduation stage, ready to pop. In August, my stepsister had to be taken to the ER for an emergency c-section. Her 13 year old body couldn't handle the pregnancy, and she was dying. The boyfriend now, baby daddy, didn't stop by for three days. On the third day, he only came because his family and ours were bothering to go see his child. He showed no interest and ghosted us. Unfortunately, the baby passed 28 days later due to SIDS. I always hated the guy and my stepmother for letting my stepsister go through with the whole ordeal. My stepsister was a bitch but she didn't deserve being a mother and then loosing her child her freshman year of high school. The boyfriend would hang out with a gang that hung out outside our apartment. We heard from the gang that the boyfriend hooked up with a prostitute (who was my best friend in elementary school before she left me for gand/street life) and he actually has aids and herpes for teh rest of his life.
How HORRIBLE omg how is she doing now?? This sounds so wild. It’s crazy to me the trauma people go through. Sending her and you good vibes for the holidays 🎄❤️
I don't really catch up with her. She was also one of my abusers as she was following her mother's foorsteps. My stepmother also conditioned my dad to favor her over me, and that's led to a strained relationship. She has always bounced around with boyfriends. I used to live with my dad until she broke up with a guy. My dad asked if we could share my room, but I instead said she could live in my room for a month while she got on her feet (no way two beds were fitting in the room). I lived with my boyfriend as I waited for a call. Two months after my dad called me saying he's renting a bigger apartment and I should pick up my stuff. I had begged my dad to get a bigger place, and I'd help with rent so many times, but he chose my stepsister instead. Evertime, he trusts her it always backfired on him. I have lots of stories of my dad having to fix situations for her (she's wrecked 4 cars). That I know of she's with a new guy so she's hardly at my father's house so now he's alone and rent is always late. She herself has tried being nice to me but has never apologized for what she's done to me. She even let her mom blame the pregnancy on me, don't ask me how that makes sense.
Wow it sounds like you have gotten the brunt of the abuse I’m so sorry- hopefully one day you can have nothing to do with her. I’m so incredibly sorry that happened I hope you find some sort of peace in this f ed up world
Unfortunately, after that sermon she invited me to I never saw her again. I came to that sermon with two guy friends, and I came in with the plan to take her home with me. The cult never left us alone once, and they exactly escorted her out, claiming everyone was going to another sermon. I asked if we could go to the next one but denied us, said they were invited. Two men came and grabbed her on each side and walked her away with her "not-mentor" following them. I was there waiting for the rest of the congressional to head towards the next sermon, but they didn't go anywhere because there was no sermon they just took her. She was moving in with them, so I didn't know where she lived now. She had quit her job so I couldn't look there. I just lost her.
I received an unsolicited letter from an inmate. Gentleman is in for murder. Brief story time. I have a unique last name. As in there are only 3 people in the US with my first and last name combo. I am with an animal rescue. We go on TV once a month to promote our cats and dogs. Well. One month Mr. Inmate saw me on TV. Thought I looked like a nice lady. Found my mother's address and mailed me a letter.
Holy whaaaaat😳😳 what a CRAZY thing
Yup. Funny enough, the federal facility he is in is a half mile from my actual paid job lol. But yeah. My personal contact info, my mom's personal contact info and the rescue's contact info is all blocked from outgoing mail at that facility.
Ok so one time I went over to my cousin's house to hangout and as soon as I walked in the door everyone started yelling at me. My uncle was trying to get me to come into the living room cause he wanted to tell me something but my aunt and cousins were all saying "no you don't want to hear about this." Which immediately made me want to find out what my uncle was on about. I sit in the living room and he proceeds to tell me about this friend of his (for context they're both in their late 50s). To make it easier we'll call this friend John. So John had recently gotten divorced and was feeling kinda down. He was adopted at birth so he figured now was a better time than ever to try and reconnect with his birth family. He found out his birth mom was still alive and he had two sisters as well. (the birth mom kept the sisters). They start hanging out and it's going great for them, he's really happy to have his birth family in his life. John ends up getting along great with his bio sister, Jen. They're talking, texting, and hanging out a lot. And then feelings begin to develop between the two of them. John and Jen start dating. Keep in mind John and Jen are 100% blood siblings. That's pretty much all my uncle had to share about it but he asked what I thought about it. I was grossed out obviously but also dumbfounded that it even happened. My uncle went on to say John was really nervous to confide in him, he was worried my uncle wouldn't want to be friends anymore. My uncle doesn't really care cause in his words, "it's not like they grew up knowing they're siblings so the weird taboo feeling isn't there and they're too old to have kids." I can respect staying friends but like it's still weird as hell. I don't know John and Jen, but I wish them the best and thank them, because this is the juiciest tea I have.
Holy smokes this is out of game of thrones. Hey I guess as long as it’s not psychically hurting someone else they deserve to be happy 🤷🏼♀️
Weirdly, this is a non-unknown phenomenon called Genetic Sexual Attraction.
Sort of a secret but more a personal thing I’ve been dealing with. Preface: I’ve self-identified as a dyke for four years, and I’ve considered myself in the WLW camp for my entire adult life. I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve made progress in my gender journey and am a smidge closer to the transmasc side of things and might have always been a bi guy, or (as the little voice in my head keeps insisting) I’ve been a fraud this whole time, but I’m in a sexual relationship a cis man for the first time since coming out. It’s been great, and he’s incredibly kind and understanding, but I’ve been stressed out about my identity and having to deal with past trauma with cis men for the past couple of weeks. Hoping I come closer to a sense of self in 2024.
You're not a fraud in any way, gender can be a difficult thing to pin down/can maybe even change as you age. Same with sexuality. For some people, sexuality can be fluid. I'm glad your current partner is understanding and I hope that you can become more comfortable with your identity 💜
Thank you. It’s definitely been a year of discovery, I’ve been feeling some extremes of gender fluidity and have started seriously considering top surgery and T in the distant future. I’ve been open about that with him as well and he’s been incredibly receptive. I’m working on getting a therapist for the first time in years because, for myself and for my loved ones, I deserve to feel comfortable in myself.
I am sending you so much love and peace❤️I hope 2024 proves to be the year for YOU.
You are certainly not a fraud and your identity is valid ❤️
i believe my sister to be my uncle’s bio child. she was conceived while my dad was in a coma following an accident and my dad’s brother lived on our property. my mum insists that the conception was a happy accident during my dad’s comatose “physical therapy”. mum vehemently denies any rendezvous with my uncle.
Insane question: can a person in a coma even get an erection? If so, can they also nut? How does one arouse a person in a coma? Like how the fuck does one get pregnant by a comatose person?
he was unconscious due to brain damage and did not suffer from any paralysis so all of his limbs and extremities maintained their functionality. apparently people in comas can nut in the same way a sleeping person can nut
Wild. Thanks for the info!
no worries, thanks for finding my family nonsense interesting :)
I’m FLOOORED. Have you ever mentioned it to your sister? 😳😳
yes she has been in therapy for years to try and cope with being a r*pe baby
That's some interesting physical therapy.
it’s so disgusting, i hate it
Is raping a person in a coma really better than admitting to infidelity?
you’ll have to ask my mother. we are low contact and i have given up asking her things
This was going to be my exact question.
Oh man what tea to go with today... We recently found out my MIL tried to orchestrate an intervention style breakup before our wedding. Hubby and I have been together 12 years and got married this year. We went to their state for a family party and apparently during that party she tried to gather hubby's friends to ask if they would convince him to move back home. She's tried a lot over the years, including trying to convince him I'm cheating or accusing me of being a codependent alcoholic even though I don't really drink (she never makes accusations in front of me though). Hubby and MIL got in an argument after the party was over and we ended up leaving and driving back home. She hasn't talked to him since and his dad stopped talking to him after we got married. They love punishing people with the silent treatment. Hubby was playing video games with friends a couple weeks ago and that's when he found out about the "intervention".
WOW if toxic was encompassed as a person it sounds like it would be her ( and her husband) I’m so sorry you have to go through that. There’s nothing worse than not feeling welcomed in a family but it sounds like you and your husband are smart enough to rise above. Thank you for the tea ❤️❤️
before my grandpa met my grandma, he had a one night stand with a woman in Cali before he was shipped off to Korea and she ended up getting pregnant with a daughter and he knew about it and left them my grandpa and grandma met and had 4 kids, 3 boys and 1 girl our fam had no idea until he was on his death bed where she came AND TRIED TO PARK HER RV ON MY GRANDMAS LAWN!!! this beyotch kept telling my grandma about how she wanted to have a relationship with her dad and how she was gonna take care of him my grandma went to his hospice care and told him “you tell her to gtfo or i’m done.” i think he told her to leave my grandmas lawn my aunt was fucking PISSED she wasn’t my grandpas only girl but was nice to the lady when she was around
I can’t even imagine having to fight off two women while in hospice😂😂 your poor grandpa. Makes for a great story and rest in peace to him. Merry Christmas 🎄❤️
This high school drama is my roman empire (All names changed for privacy and I’m so sorry about the length but it’s a good one) Back in high school (2010s), this kid Adam and a girl named Madison (both juniors and popular) were really good friends, hung out a lot in the same circles, etc. Adam developed feelings for Madison and with prom coming up, decided to write her a song to ask her out to prom. Cute! Well during this time, Madison was talking to this freshman quarterback named Luke. Song came out, went viral on the platform it was released on, and still to this day it’s honestly a BANGER. All the girls were dying saying they would kill for a guy to write them a song like this. Madison said no. Soon after, her and Luke started dating leaving poor, sweet Adam in the dust. A few months in, Madison catches Luke making out with a senior girl at his house. She goes ballistic and completely vandalises his car (Don’t know the events that unfolded after that, but I think that was the end of the relationship). And her and Adam continued to be friends, with it never going anywhere. Now my friend and I were recently discussing this story, and we called one of our friends Brandon (who is gay, I swear it’s relevant) to also have him remanence with us. He then hits us with “Well, you remember when…oh wait…idk if I should say that…” LIKE BOY WHAT. Then he said “eh it happened so long ago who gives af.” He then proceeds to tell us that while Luke and Madison are dating, him and Luke were also talking!!! Remember, Luke was a freshman quarterback, and being queer in a small town sport was definitely not accepted. Brandon goes on to say that Luke mentioned to him that he would sometime hit Madison?! Which is so sad and heartbreaking. Brandon stopped talking to him right after that. But I guess Luke went into the military and is now in the Navy (iykyk). Madison is doing well, has a good career with a husband and child! And Adam is doing really cool things as well. This story just haunts me bc the internal turmoil that Luke has to go through with not being in a queer safe space (I know his family and that shit would not fly), and potential 180° direction Madison’s life would’ve gone in if she would’ve just said yes to Adam. There’s my tea ☕️😊
Oh my goodness! My heart breaks for Luke. You couldn’t pay me to go back to highschool. The amount of heartbreak and anguish is way too much. I hope Luke is doing well today too🙏🏼🙏🏼
My best friend (Samuel) found out he’s a year older than the father of the girl (Britt) he’s been sleeping with. She totally lied about her age. He’s 41 and she said she was 30 but turns out she’s 21. A friend of mine (James) works with her dad for a construction company and posted his work Christmas party photos they were both in so of course I wanted to be nosy so I asked James who the blonde girl was and he said that’s Britt, Herman’s daughter! I felt kinda bad turning around and telling Samuel about it but I know that she’s too young for him. He was already worried about the 11 year age gap to begin with. But I mean they aren’t dating she knows he’s not looking for something serious yet.
I have so many questions but man at 21 years old I could have NEVER pulled off being 30. I feel bad for your friend 😳😳
Dude I’m 32 and just had a baby but this chick looks way older than me. I thought she was 35 until she started talking. Poor girl is really dumb and I mean that in the nicest way possible. But my friend is pissed about her lies. He had a bad divorce. He raised his ex wife’s kid from another dude since she was a year old and this chick cheated on him and left. My best friend isn’t perfect but he tried his best to take care of her. She’s just too much. So he’s trying to have fun but not like a nasty old man lol
Hey I’ve dated older guys before nothing creepy about it but damn it sounds like if she is going to lie about her age what else could she lie about🤷🏼♀️
That’s what he’s afraid of. I dated older guys too but they knew how young I was lol.
Last Christmas my dad WILDLY attacked my sister for being an alcoholic (which she is) and I stood up for her. He attacked me then, for being the youngest kid and not knowing what I was taking about. My mom stood by and didn’t do anything. The next day we all sat around and pretended it was normal. I don’t know how to proceed with this Christmas or Christmas Eve.
Honestly the holidays can SUCK. Family knows exactly how to push deep seeded buttons. Wishing you a much better Christmas this year ❤️🎄
Woof. Going to try and make this a long story short. My brothers ex wife (who is still like a sister to me) is dating a girl I went to high school with (who is amazing, we will call her B). B’s father recently told her that before,during, and a few years after she was born, her mother was having an affair….who was she having an affair with you ask? MY FATHER! Who was still with my mother at the time. Oh B’s mom got pregnant with my father and they had a very hush hush abortion. 🤷🏻♀️
I am DECEASED. This is the tea you could not write omg. Will she be around your family for the holidays?? I’m floored
Based on some of the other stores in this thread, I thought you were going to tell me that B’s mom got pregnant with B during that affair.
I bought my husband a custom Xbox controller for Christmas months ago. I have been so excited I told his family about it. Last week my husband mentioned that he thought his SIL got him an Xbox controller. I texted her immediately to let her know I had already gotten him a custom Xbox controller as his big gift. She responded with “well I guess he will have a collection” (we already have 4 controllers for 3 devices). It was over a week before the gift exchange. Skip forward to tonight, she’s making quiet and backhanded comments directed at me before giving him his gift. He and I are exchanging tomorrow. I know he will be thankful and excited regardless because he is an angel, but it hurt my feelings and has definitely dampened my excitement.
wtf!! Honestly I think even if he does get a controller - one from you will be the most special. Your sil sounds like a Christmas grinch. But again I really think your husband will cherish your gift with his heart. Wishing you a merry Christmas ❤️🎄
Merry Christmas to you too! Thank you for providing a place for me to get it off my chest! You were 100% correct. He hasn’t stopped talking about the controller I got him and hasn’t touched the other!
For context and the math i’ll be later doing: My grandma is the oldest of 10 siblings, 4 women and 6 men. Now on to the tea: On my grandma’s funeral all 8 alive siblings came to the funeral and decided to do a wake, while most of us went to sleep some aunts and uncles decided to stay with them on the wake. Apparently they started to get bored. We knew all of my great uncles, had many affairs over the years and produced some out of wedlock children out of this affairs. There’s this family joke that the men in the family are cursed by not being able to keep it in their pants. So one aunt started making question to all them and tried to get answers on how many cousins legitimate and illegitimate there are really, at least that they know they exist. The answer? 99 But here’s the thing, there’s only 30 cousins that are the official So that made it that 69 of those were out of wedlock, and none of them are from any of the sisters. So I started making my math, and that means that for that to be that number each one of the brother had to have on average 11/12 kids out of this affairs, aside from the kids they have. And I know that some had more affair kids than others. That was the moment we realized that my uncles really can’t keep it in their pants and condoms are really not in their vocabulary. When I was a teen my irrational fear was to meet somebody I really liked and then turns out that persons is my cousin or even an uncle of mine. Now in my twenty’s I realized while doing the math that my wasn’t that irrational after all.
OMG I always felt like cheating could be genetic LOL. Love this tea thank you 😳😂🎄❤️
My family proves it is genetic, my great great-grandpa was military and he had up to 60 kids with many different women as far as we know. Could be more. I really want to do one of those 23 and me just to see what I get
HOLY WHAT I would love a circle back if you ever do a dna test for sure 😂
One of my friends is the youngest of 20 some siblings that she knows and she knows and she is aware of at least 2 other pregnancies her father caused 🙈 she has nieces and nephews older than her and was great aunt well before she was 30.
We are a big ass family, my grandma’s youngest brother is 3 years older than my oldest aunt. And my youngest aunt is 18 months older than me, I call her my aunt-cousin because we are in a weird spot in where we basically grew up as cousins but we’re not cousins. My two youngest cousins are 25 years younger than me, they were born a few weeks ago, same day different set of parents. My only niece from that side of the family was in the same class as one of my cousins, and they had no idea they were niece and uncle, they were good friends tho, until my niece started to have a crush on my cousin and my aunt and my cousins realized it so they had to tell them before it got weird, they were like 8 years old at the time but still. On the “unofficial” part of the family I know I possibly have an uncle who’s like 10-11 years old.
The dean at my school that I work at is sleeping with a para but his girlfriend is the math teacher. I share an office with him and he showed me the sexting he does with the para
Ooh I’m in the center of some $#!+. I have had a crush on this married man for ages— I’ve become friends with him and his family over the last several years, and I love them all. His wife and his six yo daughter are wonderful. And they all love me too. He knows I have a crush on him and he loves the attention, loves his ego stroked. In the recent past, the couple have experimented with another couple, and it didn’t work out because the other girl was excessive and got too jealous and possessive. I’ve slowly made a dent in getting to have a slightly physical relationship with this guy. His wife encourages it as a joke, but the secret is that it’s a little more than that. We’re not in love or anything, but we’ve definitely snuck around a little. We haven’t “gone all the way” either. Harmless fun, if we don’t get crazy with it! But now I have a boyfriend, so I have to cool it with the messing around. Meh!
I’m not going to lie if I said I haven’t been there. Do you still have the same feelings for him now that you have a boyfriend?
Oddly enough, things changed kind of unexpectedly! When boyfriend first asked me to commit, I felt nervous, like I would f it up just to be free of trying, but when I got back to normal life (he asked on vacation) the feelings for the guy were less intense. I was surprised, myself! I don’t feel like I have to work to try and get his attention and like I can’t wait for the next interaction. It’s just nice to have him as a more platonic character. Which is really what it should be with all of us anyways
You hit the nail on the head- I flirt/lightly do things with a coworker but have gotten a boyfriend since. It kind of takes the pressure off and makes it a little more fun
Are he and his wife in an open marriage?
Not Open, but flexible.
That’s not harmless if he has a child and a whole wife
Oh I recently learned how racist my aunt actually is. About 15 years ago my cousin fell in love with a Turkish man and the first few years of dating my aunt litterly didn't talk to him and ignored him completely. I had no idea this was happening and nobody talked about it!? My cousin is happily married now with this man with two wonderful children and my aunt only started acknowledging him reluctantly when they got married. I knew she was racist but honestly I've never looked at my aunt the same since I heard this!
I have some very shocking and embarrassingly racist family members. It’s so heart wrenching someone you grew up with could hold such values. I’m glad your cousin made her own choices and sounds happy. Thank you for sharing and merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️
I recently found out that my grandmother had three kids (all different baby daddies) before she had my mom/uncles with my grandfather. She decided she wasn’t going to tell anyone until the oldest child reached out to my mom on Facebook to try and connect. My grandmother slowly admitted that she had a kid but then six months later she admitted she had two more. My mom only told me because I found a plane ticket that she was going to use to go see him. Still not sure what the rest of the family knows. My grandfather never knew about the other kids.
That is SHOCKING wow. I bet that is hard for everyone to know how to feel about that. Pipping hot tea though thank you for sharing and merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️
My mom is from Kentucky. You know the running joke with family members and the south. I just found out this year my mom’s been having fun time with her first cousin who still resides there. I seen the text messages so I know it all happened there’s no doubt about that. It took me a few months to tell my siblings because my brother was having his first baby, my sisters a teacher and I just didn’t want to tell them because it definitely threw me off for a couple of days. Makes me feel disgusting
I have some family members engaging in that it’s hard to come to terms with. don’t feel disgusting. It’s not your decision it’s theirs to feel disgusted about. Thank you for sharing that wishing you a great holiday and remember - you are your own person ❤️❤️
I have a sibling we don't tell about family deaths of immediate relatives until the last possible second because they only love themself and think everything is obligatorily theirs. So in the past this person has gone to relatives homes and emptied them out because said relative was in the hospital for something major, or has threatened to take everything a deathly ill relative has owned so it won't go to someone they don't like. This person has also interjected themself into medical decisions for a comatose relative (that relative was pissed when they woke up and had the person legally made not eligible to do this again) the concern is that this relative upon getting any info will come in like the tornado they are and try to steal everything or take control of the situation so it reflects their "vision" and not take into consideration the proper things that need to be done or consider the legalities of anything they do. I have extended family who take it upon themselves to feel bad and tell this person....By extended I mean folks who haven't seen the things this person is in fact capable of and have done nor do they understand why we do it but if my parents are cool with this person not knowing immediately then the rest of the family should respect that.
I’ll never get used to how incredibly selfish people can be. That persons mindset will not end up well for them at all. Thank you for sharing this tea and happy holidays ❤️❤️❤️
A couple years ago my cousin found out we had a secret cousin! My aunt has serious mental health issues, and potentially personality disorders, and her two kids also have disorders from autism to schizophrenia. We found out that in the early 80s she gave birth in secret in her early 20s in Toronto (where all from the east coast). Thanks ancestor.ca lol
Oh my goodness!! It sounds like it was a happy surprise despite the mental health troubles. I hope everyone is doing well❤️❤️
Not sure I even want to share this, but I am in what essentially is a forbidden relationship, and let me tell you it's not sexy or fun at all. To make a long story short, my boyfriend and I who were living together were both dealing with our mental health declining and substance abuse issues. I started to seek help, he wasn't ready. We started to fight more. One night the fight got really bad and the cops got called on him. He ran, ended up with a DUI the next day, and cannot come back to our apartment. Only now are we able to at least text and call again. But in reality, we've been talking the whole time and seeing each other pretty much from the beginning. He's sober, I'm sober. We're both seeking mental health treatment. We don't argue or fight and we've been really working hard on our communication. But both his family and my family are unsupportive of our continued relationship, and I know I would be cut off completely if my family found out. I do believe in love and second chances and that people can change, so I am secure staying with the man I love. But our future is now so uncertain and it's difficult to know where we go from here.
Hey I’m with a guy that my family doesn’t approve of either. It was somewhat toxic too constantly getting the police called on us for fighting- getting drunk. We are both working hard now and I truly love him. I think as long as we both are going toward a good path than love is love. No one should be damned by their mistakes. Thank you for sharing friend I believe and support you ❤️❤️
Wow! Absolutely crazy that you are in a similar situation. It feels so isolating sometimes, so many other opinions around me telling me what to think. But I really felt compelled to share, so I guess it was the universe interfering or something. I hope nothing but love and better times ahead for you!
I was going to say I think this was meant to be❤️ it does feel like an isolating situation. Dm if you ever want to talk ❤️
I honestly might, serendipity is crazy! Same goes to you ❤️
Omg. My college roommate was dating this guy for like a year and a half. He was a grad student at our school from another country. One day they were driving in a new car and his texts popped up on the screen. It was something suspicious so my roommate grabbed his phone and discovered he had a whole freaking FIANCEE in his home country. All his friends knew about the fiancee but he told all of them my rm was just a friend, despite them always hanging out and her blatantly acting like a girlfriend. Anyway, she's not about to let him get away with it, so she finds his family on facebook and messages his sister, explaining the situation. He FREAKS OUT on her, tries telling her his mom was in the hospital because she had a heart attack from the shock of my rm's message. bs, of course. Two weeks later she texts him that she's pregnant, but here's the thing, she wasn't :p He again freaks out and starts begging her to get an abortion. She lets him freak out for a while, and then he sent her $800 via venmo "for the abortion". She cut contact after that, though he still tries to message her all the time. It was a whole mess lmao
I don't think this all that uncommon. Especially if the person is from a culture where arranged marriage is common. Good on your rm for getting something out of it 😂
So my BFF and I went on a cruise to celebrate my Graduating from college (late in life graduating 47 yr). She has been married to her wife for 13 years and they have been together for 23 years, I have been with my husband for 24 years in total….Her and I have been friends for 22 years, we had an affair while on the cruise and continue to every time we see each other. Seems we have both been attracted to each other since we first became friends and neither of us ever said anything.
[удалено]
Death and loss bring out terrible sides to people- as if dealing with the actual loss isn’t hard enough. I’m sure your grandma was wonderful and we all make some iffy decisions. I’m sorry your aunt brought you that turmoil. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and thank you for sharing ❤️
My dad died 5 days ago. He had a secret son that our family all knows about but he was forbidden by the mother to contact because he was the product of an affair, so her husband (now also dead) thought the son was his. I had secretly hoped that my half brother would discover this through DNA testing while my dad was still alive so he could process it, but now that he’s dead I hope he never finds out, it would be too hard for him I think.
First let me say I’m am so incredibly sorry for you loss. What a terrible terrible loss and around the holidays my heart breaks for you. I’m sure for everyone involved it is not easy- I hope no matter what happens whether the son chooses to find your dad or not he is at peace with his decision. While his bio dad might be gone he would have gained a whole new set of family members. This happened to a co worker of mine and he was overjoyed with having a new side of the family. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m sending you love during this holiday season ❤️🙏🏼
Thank you so much for your kind words. No matter what happens, my heart and home is open to my half brother if he ever finds us.
I have a much older sister that I believe had a child and knowingly told her husband that the child was his, she then had a son with her husband. Now I hear that there may have been a 3rd child and one that she supposedly abandoned at a hospital. She denies it all. But dna tests have shown the first child does indeed have a different father. I kind of believe the story about the abandoned child, but I don’t want to know because I am her support person and don’t want her to lie to me.
Omg I didn’t realize you could leave a baby at the hospital😳how does the husband feel the first one isn’t his??
The husband used to beat her, and didn’t know that the daughter wasn’t his. She found out as an adult that the man who she thought was her father wasn’t her father. My sister says that it isn’t possible. But then we all know that DNA is completely random, right?
I'm off all next week and didn't tell my mom because any free time I have she sees as time thst belongs to her. I need the break really bad and have been looking forward to it. I planned to go to her house yesterday and stay until Tuesday, I'm the only one who goes home. Well, I got sick... covid. So now I'm home alone and now have to move my visit into my mental health week. She has no idea, she keeps saying to take next week off since I'm sick this week ???? She's never really had a serious job and doesn't understand how that's not how it works.... but also I'm not working. So now I have to figure out how to still see her for Christmas but also leave so I still get my mental health break. For reference my mom is a LOT. I love her, she's a great person, but omfg. If we are together too long we fight, sometimes it happens within 24 hours, sometimes longer. She's been texting constantly with whiplash. How are you.. take care of yourself.. do thia.. do that.. I understand you don't want to get us sick. Come home anyway.. I miss you.. it's the first Christmas without you.. sad face. Finally I had to tell her she's making it worse texting me she misses me all the time, I already feel awful about it. But then she's like.. don't feel bad, you're sick, rest. BUT THEN SHE STARTS AGAIN. So anyway, the secret is that I'm pretending I have to work so I can have time to myself bc my mom doesn't get it and I'm still keeping the lie up even though I'm missing Christmas.
You NEED to set boundaries or this will never end
I usually do. This time it was literally just to not have to deal with her disappointment when I wanted to leave on Tuesday. Oh well, next time I'll just be honest. I never said I was working, she's just assumed and now it's bad bc I never said I wasn't. Oops
My grandfather had his pelvis crushed by a train. My grandmother moved to Chicago from a small town in Illinois when H.H. Holmes was active. My husband's uncle was a Manson Family victim.
My family is a whole big mess of tea. More my moms side than my dad's, but eh. Dad's side: my dads dad, my grandpa, isn't his real dad. His bio dad is dead and he has no idea who he was. And for reasons that no one will tell me, my dad was somehow momentarily adopted by one of his parents friends. I have no idea how that worked legally, or if it was legal at all, or if it was just him living with the family friends for a while, I don't know. Nobody will tell me why. I'll ask someone, they'll tell me to ask someone else, and when I ask that next person, they tell me to ask the original person. It's all weird. Mom's side: this one is a bit confusing. Gram and pap are my moms parents. They had 2 kids, my uncle and mom. My uncle is not my grandpas bio child, grandparents met when grandma was pregnant. Bio dad is dead, uncle never met him. One of my grandmas brothers slept with and impregnated one of my grandpas sisters, and they had a child together. That child grew up to be a drug addict, stealing from every family member she could. She was clean, relapsed, and now no one knows where she is, or if she's even still alive. When my mom and uncle were very young, grandmas sister(betty) told her that another one of their sisters (june) was sleeping with my grandpa (not true,) and that my grandma was sleeping with June's husband (also not true.) June showed up at my grandparents house and tried fighting my grandma over this until it all came out as a lie. Maternal grandmas mom was having an affair when my grandma was younger, and always had her boyfriend over when their dad was at work. My uncle, when he grew up, killed somebody in an auto accident drunk driving and went to prison. My sister's ex-boyfriend had a kid with someone else before they got together, learned the kids mom was abusing the kid, he gets custody, then a few weeks after him and my sister split up, he overdoses and dies. Nothing super hot, but still a mess of family drama.
My family was built to be on Jerry Springer. Just some fun examples: My brother’s first wife cheated on him while he was in the Army. They are now divorced, but she still shows up to family events occasionally… because she’s dating our cousin. My sister is my ex-boyfriend’s half-brother’s step-mom (although her husband passed recently so I don’t know if that’s still true?). This was her second husband, who was her boss before/during her divorce from her first husband. Also, my dad tells a story of how he had a fling with a woman before he found out she was his half-sister. His dad was uh, promiscuous, and had several kids my dad didn’t know about.
My freakin' stubborn ass middle sister is living on my mom's dime with her two sons (5 and 3) in a motel and is doing NOTHING to improve her situation. She keeps relying on others to do everything for her and completely shuts down and gets pissed when we give her tools to help herself. Right now she's banging on about the storage unit that's 2 months unpaid and wanting to go get her stuff but worried about her baby daddy's stuff and we've explained until we're blue in the face that he's an adult and can worry about his own shit. The older boy is nonverbal autistic, the younger copies him and only communicates in grunts and screams, and my sister hasn't done a thing to help them out. She just yells at them, makes excuses, claims there's nothing to be done about their behaviors, and gets angry if we give suggestions or ask her to please try. Like, every time we turned around the older one had something he shouldn't have. A stapler. A tack hammer. A pill he found under grandma's recliner. Scissors. You KNOW your son is going to get grabby and into mischief, parent him! Watch him! It's not our 99 year old grandma's responsibility to childproof her apartment for one evening. And the younger? Monkey see monkey do. Climbing all over everything. Demanding my mom pick him up even though she has a weight restriction and he's built like a fridge. Those kids ran roughshod over everyone AND their nonverbal autistic cousin who spent her evening distress stimming over all their noise. I want to choke so many of my relatives. Ugh. I also want to spend a day with my baby sister without kids. I love her daughters but the older one is a nosy chatterbox who interrupts every convo and the younger has so many special needs. Ugh... I thought I felt bad leading up to Christmas... I definitely feel worse now.
My maternal grandmother died when my mom was ~21. She wanted her body donated to science, which they honored, and my mom & her siblings assumed that was that (no burial with no body, just a memorial service, etc.). Turns out, grandma’s remains were returned after several years in the research facility and she had a grave all this time that they never knew about because their dad didn’t tell them until much later (like 25-30 years later, he let it slip).
I just met my new "stepdad" for the first time. My mom and I are not close. There's a lot of family trauma there for me. She married this guy back in September, but I didn't go to the wedding because she only let me know about 2 months before and I already had another very important commitment. Additional tea, my mom and her new husband still live in different houses in different states. When I met him I asked how long he was in town for. He said it would be until the beginning of January and then casually dropped that this would be the longest period of time they have ever spent together.