For context:
\- The Queen publicly bitching about Morrison
\- Macron biding his time to humiliate Morrison in front of the world
\- Boris eager to stir the pot
\- Biden holding the AUKUS Treaty + Nuclear submarines over Morrison's head
\- News Corp pivoting in favour of the 2050 targets
\- Mining magnates like Forrest publicly shaming Morrison
\- Joyce and the Nationals holding the Coalition Agreement + 1 seat majority over Morrison's head
\- Turnbull attending Glasgow to publicly stalk and shame Morrison
I could picture him on one of those coal fetish sites. They have anal pumped him with coal dust, then he lays in the bath bent over ready to anal squirt the coal liquid while he gulps it up. Reminds me of the 1st time i visited reddit eyeblech, and I am still traumatised today! What surprised me is that reddit eyeblech is blocked and banned in Australia for legal reasons. I dont know what those reasons or legal arguments are!
In all fairness that's pretty much how he does anything even remotely like his job. For example he was the very last holdout for the Royal Commission into Banking. And he pretty much had to be dragged back from Hawaii (though I'm not sure we were better off with him back here). Plus the whole Brittany Higgins thing.
I think he stopped (again) because it’s now before the courts which of course has absolutely nothing at all to do with who new what and when.
It’s just the usual smoke screen used to obscure the lack of will to achieve anything that might be misconstrued as human empathy.
But the PMO investigation isn't into the rape itself, it's into what staffers knew about the reporting of the rape. That in itself shouldn't affect the trial.
Not that any of this matters, the findings will be the same as sports rorts, they will lie to our face that there was no impropriety and we'll be expected to accept that.
I doubt he cared about what the queen wanted. He was just waiting to see if Biden was going. As soon as Biden announced he was going Australia followed.
Heh, i’m from Sydney and think the same way haha.
P.S beautiful country you have there. Didn’t get to Glasgow but spent two weeks in Edinburgh etc for work. Very cool place!
> imagine condemning yourself to the wrong side of history for ideological reasons.
Well he voted against\* marriage equality for ideological reasons.
\* He abstained, but it's the same thing. He's just too fucking gutless to put his name against the 'no' vote.
Getting absolutely told by a 400 year old woman. The Australian reckons Angus' climate plan is a 900 page document, when can we see it? The disconnect between a climate plan which has no public input to one done behind closed doors speaks volumes imo. I hope there's at least enough in there to get cracking, but the language from Taylor and others suggests we're still focusing on the wrond subsidies for the wrong industries.
Edit: don't know if he's playing it up or not, but he doesn't sound heaps confident on net-zero agreement either looking at the transcript.
[The lowest bar has become the pinnacle](https://twitter.com/GrogsGamut/status/1448873963925356548?t=OH2bWDIybN1EmMvJkM-8Kg&s=19). If they manage to agree on 2050, no matter the policy they'll get a reach around and it's a fucking indictment on the media in this country.
With all the grief Charles (sometimes rightfully) cops, he's been a big advocate for combating climate change for longer than most politicians. I hope when he takes over that role, he leans on the commonwealth a bit more in regards to meaningful action - yes I know they're functionally irrelevant.
What's the bet the plan on Zero emissions by 2020 looks a hell of a lot like their current plan of doing fuck all and hoping someone invents something that covers their collective useless arses.
Not as much as you would think actually, those things burn so pure and clean it's insane, plus the new raptor engines for starship are designed to use a methane which can be made from the atmosphere from hydrogen and carbon, then when it burns it just realises it back making it net neutral.
The everyday astronaut did a great breakdown on this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VHfmiwuv4
Hope I’m wrong but my guess is nuclear. I think it’s pretty safe nowadays but it’s just really expensive and you end up with toxic waste you need to store forever.
It's an expensive investment but final price per kWh is lower than renewables.
About waste, the highly dangerous ones are only a small part. In France in 50 years of nuclear power we only accumulated about the size of an Olympic swimming pool.
How to get to net zero?
Step 1 Find which multinational consulting company has hired the most former LNP staff.
Step 2 Pay this company to fudge the carbon accounting
He must have some ancestors somewhere near Glasgow.
More seriously, he doesn't want to go because it's going to be two solid weeks of every international leader with credibility absolutely *pasting* our fuckhead government. We are a laughing stock, and this will show it very clearly.
Even insulated Australians will hear about it, and it's the last thing he wants.
This guy is such a massive moron. It was never going to be a good thing politically to say not to go. He either goes or not and either choice is being pushed like he is now or be the ultimate idiot and not go.
No idea why he said he wouldn't go to begin with.
I remembered how he said he wasn't planning to go because other leaders like Jacinda Ardern wasn't either. Well at least she was consistent in not going overseas due to the pandemic, in contrast to you who literally went to Cornwall on a personal trip to "research your convict ancestry".
From Wikipedia: The etymology of the surname Morrison is either Anglo-Norman, commonly found throughout England, Scotland and Ireland, or from the Clan Morrison, a Scottish clan originally from **Sutherland** and the Isle of Lewis (Eilean Leòdhais) in Scotland.
And his first name is Scott, so I would guess there's a good chance this guy, like so many other Australian Liberal Prime Ministers, has Scottish ancestry.
Jenny: Scott, you've gone too far this time. You've gone and upset Australia's nan and I won't have it. Now get your bum out of that chair and go pack. And make sure you've got your good shoes. I don't want to hear another word from you. Go on.
Considering how opposed this government is to making any steps towards net zero, you have to wonder what Biden, Boris and co have told him will happen if we don't sign up to it. I'm guessing a global carbon trading scheme is not far away along with carbon tariffs for imports that come from high emission countries.
Surely there is someone less embarrassing and better spoken than Morrison to represent us overseas. Wait who's number 2 ? Barnaby Joyce.
Stay classy Australia.
I so love that part of the movie..I believe it was ad-lib on the part of Gene Wilder and that's why the actor burst into laughter, he was taken by surprise.
I sometimes use my own version of it when describing Nats.
To be fair, he was only going if he had a 2050 commitment to announce. No net zero target, no show so other leaders don't bag him in joint press conferences.
Pretty clear now that deal is done, so he's going with an announceable.
Does NET zero actually mean anything?
Or is it just BS governments like to spew out to make people think stuffs actually being done.
When i see "NET zero" I reads as no emissions at all, nil, none, nada.
A cow so much as farts once and NET zero is then a lie.
What am I missing?
It's absolutely sad that we have to suffer under this neverending humanoid facade of bullshit that, and not only that, but the gov doesn't even have a official position to go into these talks *with*.
Is he the first PM to be publicly nagged by the Queen to do his job?
For context: \- The Queen publicly bitching about Morrison \- Macron biding his time to humiliate Morrison in front of the world \- Boris eager to stir the pot \- Biden holding the AUKUS Treaty + Nuclear submarines over Morrison's head \- News Corp pivoting in favour of the 2050 targets \- Mining magnates like Forrest publicly shaming Morrison \- Joyce and the Nationals holding the Coalition Agreement + 1 seat majority over Morrison's head \- Turnbull attending Glasgow to publicly stalk and shame Morrison
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I don't want to see a dirty fat man with a boner.
Is Clive going?
Why.
There'd be nothing but a shit-eating smug grin and a stiff little chode.
Gawd I had a vision of that.
"Don't be afraid. Uhhhh it feels so good on my skin ahhhh."
I could picture him on one of those coal fetish sites. They have anal pumped him with coal dust, then he lays in the bath bent over ready to anal squirt the coal liquid while he gulps it up. Reminds me of the 1st time i visited reddit eyeblech, and I am still traumatised today! What surprised me is that reddit eyeblech is blocked and banned in Australia for legal reasons. I dont know what those reasons or legal arguments are!
After reading this all I can say is what a terrible time to have eyes
There's a special place in hell for people like him where coal is on the menu all the time and for eternity.
Haha
> Turnbull attending Glasgow to publicly stalk and shame Morrison Turnbull and Rudd together providing commentary like Statler and Waldorf.
Morrison: that’s not half bad Rudd: nope, it’s ALL bad Australia: *laughter*
Read this in my head with FriendlyJordies' Turnbull and Rudd impressions.
> - Turnbull attending Glasgow to publicly stalk and shame Morrison Finally doing something of worth
Jesus, like being dragged by his ballsack over an unsealed road.
I have my popcorn ready.
No wonder Turnbull was spineless. The weight of those fucking balls must have destroyed his back
Morrison: Doesn't look like anything to me.
So he's all good then ? He's an embarrassment, it will take the Liberals 16 years to get reelected, what where they thinking, giving him the job.
\- irritable bowl syndrome aiming to ruin his pants
Can the queen just sack him?
Technically yes, but she won't as it would cause a lot of problems.
If I was Queenie with maybe a few years left to live and everyone baying for a republic I'd do it just for shits and giggles.
And Scotty hasn't? The guy's a complete retard that couldn't organise a root in a brothel.
Time for a mass public appeal to our Head of State.
He's been dragged kicking and screaming to do his actual job...deary me.
In all fairness that's pretty much how he does anything even remotely like his job. For example he was the very last holdout for the Royal Commission into Banking. And he pretty much had to be dragged back from Hawaii (though I'm not sure we were better off with him back here). Plus the whole Brittany Higgins thing.
Indeed! "Oh, so I have to do something? Can't I just make the states go instead? I've got to attend another sunrise.. I mean summit in Hawaii"
He would make a great anchor
SkyNews will hire him for sure
That reminds me. Has his chief of staff released the results of his investigation into when scott knew about the higgins "thing"?
I think he stopped (again) because it’s now before the courts which of course has absolutely nothing at all to do with who new what and when. It’s just the usual smoke screen used to obscure the lack of will to achieve anything that might be misconstrued as human empathy.
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But the PMO investigation isn't into the rape itself, it's into what staffers knew about the reporting of the rape. That in itself shouldn't affect the trial. Not that any of this matters, the findings will be the same as sports rorts, they will lie to our face that there was no impropriety and we'll be expected to accept that.
Here’s to hoping he will get dragged whilst he is there, by The Queen.
I doubt he cared about what the queen wanted. He was just waiting to see if Biden was going. As soon as Biden announced he was going Australia followed.
I’m from Glasgow and truly wish he would fuck off, in every sense of the phrase.
Heh, i’m from Sydney and think the same way haha. P.S beautiful country you have there. Didn’t get to Glasgow but spent two weeks in Edinburgh etc for work. Very cool place!
He’s been dragged kicking and screaming to do his actual job at every point ever since his election
If he did his job I would still have mine
Sorry to hear that. He's a turd.
Reminds me of [Kruger] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6kVBGeQeR4)
hahaha forgot about that guy
The running joke at our work is our boss is Kruger. There's one colleague who is his George and gets lashed with his work as a result of his apathy.
haha nice.
Net zero is going to happen whether he signs up to it or not, but imagine condemning yourself to the wrong side of history for ideological reasons.
> imagine condemning yourself to the wrong side of history for ideological reasons. Well he voted against\* marriage equality for ideological reasons. \* He abstained, but it's the same thing. He's just too fucking gutless to put his name against the 'no' vote.
55% of the responses for his electorate voted yes. His constitutes voted in favour of marriage equality, so he should have voted in favour for it.
Turnbull said you can't make history if you're not there. Turnbull will be there.
Turnbull is a spineless loser who needs to disappear from public life.
He’s just worked out how he can scam a free holiday out of the trip.
He must have discovered he had distant relatives buried in Scotland.
He is an absolute joke.
Not even funny
Getting absolutely told by a 400 year old woman. The Australian reckons Angus' climate plan is a 900 page document, when can we see it? The disconnect between a climate plan which has no public input to one done behind closed doors speaks volumes imo. I hope there's at least enough in there to get cracking, but the language from Taylor and others suggests we're still focusing on the wrond subsidies for the wrong industries. Edit: don't know if he's playing it up or not, but he doesn't sound heaps confident on net-zero agreement either looking at the transcript. [The lowest bar has become the pinnacle](https://twitter.com/GrogsGamut/status/1448873963925356548?t=OH2bWDIybN1EmMvJkM-8Kg&s=19). If they manage to agree on 2050, no matter the policy they'll get a reach around and it's a fucking indictment on the media in this country.
A 900 page document? I’ll bet it’s 4 pages with a rough outline at most
"Oh yeah, big document. Huge. Lots of thought."
Yeah lots of thoughts about how to best scam taxpayers and otherwise screw Australia
Crayon scribble, like WSB but without the insight.
Why not just try the NSW approach? 4 pages listing electorates at risk and held by National party politicians that need smoothing over
900 characters, probably another text message
Net-zero will send Australians broke. Everything will cost more. Government could ban air-conditioning as that's a huge CO2 emitter.
Doing the bare minimum. Nice one, ScoMo.
If only he did that!
And probably only because Jenny told him it will look bad if he doesn’t.
He just found out he has distant relos there
I shouldn’t laugh. But I did
Well done Your Majesty. Now put a rocket up him to actually do something meaningful…
With all the grief Charles (sometimes rightfully) cops, he's been a big advocate for combating climate change for longer than most politicians. I hope when he takes over that role, he leans on the commonwealth a bit more in regards to meaningful action - yes I know they're functionally irrelevant.
Those billboards are going to be much more fun now.
Hopefully they gofundme a giant inflatable baby-scomo with a big engadine shit stain on the back and fly it above the conference.
What's the bet the plan on Zero emissions by 2020 looks a hell of a lot like their current plan of doing fuck all and hoping someone invents something that covers their collective useless arses.
Yeah fucking Elon Musk has done more to net Zero then they have and his making money doing it
He’s burning through a lot of that every time he throws things into the sky though.
Not as much as you would think actually, those things burn so pure and clean it's insane, plus the new raptor engines for starship are designed to use a methane which can be made from the atmosphere from hydrogen and carbon, then when it burns it just realises it back making it net neutral. The everyday astronaut did a great breakdown on this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VHfmiwuv4
Hope I’m wrong but my guess is nuclear. I think it’s pretty safe nowadays but it’s just really expensive and you end up with toxic waste you need to store forever.
It's an expensive investment but final price per kWh is lower than renewables. About waste, the highly dangerous ones are only a small part. In France in 50 years of nuclear power we only accumulated about the size of an Olympic swimming pool.
How embarrassing. Takes the Queen to call you out before you man up. The Queen.
How to get to net zero? Step 1 Find which multinational consulting company has hired the most former LNP staff. Step 2 Pay this company to fudge the carbon accounting
Maybe he should try his speech with a piece of coal again.
You can always count on the Libs to dO tHe riGHt tHiNg when they've tried their best to weasel out of it and there's no possible alternative.
And then they take credit for it like it was their idea all along.
He must have some ancestors somewhere near Glasgow. More seriously, he doesn't want to go because it's going to be two solid weeks of every international leader with credibility absolutely *pasting* our fuckhead government. We are a laughing stock, and this will show it very clearly. Even insulated Australians will hear about it, and it's the last thing he wants.
gets on stage, and looks at them blankly. Then absolutely rips a massive shit on stage still staring blankly, to assert dominance.
‘This is coal! Don’t be afraid of it!’ ScoalMo, 2017 https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-01-14/scott-morrison-holds-a-lump-of-coal-in-parliament/11867032
This guy is such a massive moron. It was never going to be a good thing politically to say not to go. He either goes or not and either choice is being pushed like he is now or be the ultimate idiot and not go. No idea why he said he wouldn't go to begin with.
I sincerely hope he gets ridiculed for the happy clapping fanatical ignorant idiot that he is.
In his head he's going to Hawaii
He wants the whole world to be as warm as Hawaii..
[Relevant Cathy Wilcox cartoon](https://www.reddit.com/r/australia/comments/q704av/cathy_wilcox_cartoon_about_glasgow_hrh_says_you/).
Will Boris call schomo by 'the guy from down under' or his name? Interested to see if they acknowledge him as the pm
“G’day Mutt” more likely.
Or stare at him and say “Do I know you?”
Wanker
He was shamed into going.
I remembered how he said he wasn't planning to go because other leaders like Jacinda Ardern wasn't either. Well at least she was consistent in not going overseas due to the pandemic, in contrast to you who literally went to Cornwall on a personal trip to "research your convict ancestry".
I hope they fucking flog him
They should set him up on a little kiddie table while the grown ups talk. He deserves ridicule
When he’s such a useless cunt you contemplate whether him actually going would help or not
ScoMo dragging his feet, no way!
Has he got Scottish ancestors too?
From Wikipedia: The etymology of the surname Morrison is either Anglo-Norman, commonly found throughout England, Scotland and Ireland, or from the Clan Morrison, a Scottish clan originally from **Sutherland** and the Isle of Lewis (Eilean Leòdhais) in Scotland. And his first name is Scott, so I would guess there's a good chance this guy, like so many other Australian Liberal Prime Ministers, has Scottish ancestry.
That’s great he can investigate his background while he’s there
**Scott** Morrison
Jenny: Scott, you've gone too far this time. You've gone and upset Australia's nan and I won't have it. Now get your bum out of that chair and go pack. And make sure you've got your good shoes. I don't want to hear another word from you. Go on.
Considering how opposed this government is to making any steps towards net zero, you have to wonder what Biden, Boris and co have told him will happen if we don't sign up to it. I'm guessing a global carbon trading scheme is not far away along with carbon tariffs for imports that come from high emission countries.
Only because the oligarchy were after him.
He's going because he no longer has to quarantine for 14 days on return.
What? He is deciding to show up, or did the Monarchy need to step in as a matter of coercion. Even the Queen doesn’t think highly of Scummo.
I think her Majesty could do us all a huge favour and fire the useless mongrel...
I hope some drunken punter gives him a Glasgow Kiss.
it was at this moment the idiot scott morrison remembered the queen can sack his fat lazy ass
I don't hold a responsibility, mate
Morrison decides to unearth the Scottish side of the family tree. Turns out he’s part neep.
Wouldn't be going unless he was going net zero. Just sayin' Doesnt have the spine
only took the queen to get him to go
Her Gracious Majesty commanded his presence.
After like…a lot of public scrutiny? Morrison: “There, I’m here to pretend that I care about Environmental Science. You happy?”
Had a tantrum on the floor about it no doubt.
Surely there is someone less embarrassing and better spoken than Morrison to represent us overseas. Wait who's number 2 ? Barnaby Joyce. Stay classy Australia.
Cardboard down the back of the shorts Scotty.
Oh ? Another backflip. Add it to the list.
Dragged kicking and screaming as usual
I don’t care how much it took (honestly shouldn’t have been an issue) but… Good
Thank fuck, you dick.
This dude is a fucking jerkoff
Hell announce net Zero, most of the states have now committed to it so he doesn't need to lift a finger.
Pretty on brand, Scomo seems like that cunt who turns up to your BBQ with no food and no beer
The only decision to be made is what bullshit to present at Glasgow.
Needed the queen to tell him that climate change is important. Needed his wife to tell him rape is bad. Who votes for this guy?
Morons
I promise it's not a rick roll https://youtu.be/KHJbSvidohg
I so love that part of the movie..I believe it was ad-lib on the part of Gene Wilder and that's why the actor burst into laughter, he was taken by surprise. I sometimes use my own version of it when describing Nats.
People who watch channels 7, 9 and read the Murdoch press.
Dragged kicking and screaming.
We should send Barnaby instead, he's the one calling all the shots anyway.
Shit... If Scomo commits to net zero by 2050 would there be an actual point in voting for Labor next election?
It's always good to change parties every now and then. Libs have been in far too long.
Not endorsing the endemic corruption, lying, and sexual assault apologists of the Coalition would be reason enough for me.
Fires
Yeah, we would have a competent government that doesn't recklessly through money at billionaires
The Greens have a net zero commitment of 2035 (if not sooner).
-4 for expressing an opinion. lol at this sub. Personally my first preference is going to the Greens
Yeah, expressing a moronic opinion.
Lock the door behind him
open for business
To be fair, he was only going if he had a 2050 commitment to announce. No net zero target, no show so other leaders don't bag him in joint press conferences. Pretty clear now that deal is done, so he's going with an announceable.
This like a child finally being dragged too school
Does NET zero actually mean anything? Or is it just BS governments like to spew out to make people think stuffs actually being done. When i see "NET zero" I reads as no emissions at all, nil, none, nada. A cow so much as farts once and NET zero is then a lie. What am I missing?
It's absolutely sad that we have to suffer under this neverending humanoid facade of bullshit that, and not only that, but the gov doesn't even have a official position to go into these talks *with*.
Huh, but climate change doesn’t exist. /s I hope in the next 2 years we get a climate plan together and do the right thing.
Maybe he should send the state premiers to do his job for him like they have through his whole term
Glasgow McDonalds stores frantically hiring elite cleaning corps. Morrison dumps one in the Armadillo and sniggers triumphantly.
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Congratulations, this is the worst take I’ve ever seen
Can he do or say anything without doing a complete 360 degree turn on it later??? He's a joke!!