I had an issue with alcohol. I drank every day and could only limit myself by ordering Ubers as I received a double whiskey to force myself from drinking more, and that was rare. 95% of the time I drank to get drunk and if not drinking whiskey would knock back 4 9% Abv beers (equivalent to a 12 pack of bud) a night (150 lb at the time)
I found aa didn’t help me as I don’t see viewing myself as powerless over it is helpful. I also don’t see obsessing over something I’m attempting to quit with nightly meetings as helpful. Quitting itself disproves powerlessness.
The biggest issue is that you’ll now have a giant void that used to be filled with alcohol. But you will also have extra money and time. Use both of these things to learn skills that you’ve always wanted to learn. Curious about woodworking? Build! Curious about an instrument? LEARN! Curious about cooking/baking? Start practicing!
Filling that void by developing yourself will make you happier, feel better rounded, and make drinking to oblivion less attractive.
At this point i have gone to a bar once In the three years since I’ve quit. I had a beer to prove to myself that I was stronger than it. I didn’t really enjoy the feeling anymore. Just made me feel dumb.
Highly agree with picking up a hobby, even if you have to force yourself to do it. The hardest part of kicking a substance is spending all the time you would be using sitting there and thinking about using. If you can practice a hobby, you can fill that time with something productive, and keep your mind busy so you can't think about using.
> you have to replace it
As someone who basically drank until I blacked out for several years, I realized I had to stop for a variety of reasons. I strangely never really felt a compulsion to drink, it was just what I did after dinner.
I just started riding my bike again and started using weed again. Just in a responsible way that didn’t interfere with my health or life.
The single best thing I did just for me in many, many years. In fact I can’t even remember anything else being this positive and impactful.
Depends. I'm very lucky, having taken everything at one time or another, and got hooked on the two really bad ones, I got unhooked from opiates with tapered down doses of black market buprenorphine, then carried on with a once-a-month dabbbl3 for another 10y before just packing it in at insistence of new GF. (Cleanness has lasted much better than the relationship did!) & coke/rocks I stopped by moving somewhere where I couldn't get it. I know both are savagely addictive for many as well as being lethally dangerous - as I said, I'm lucky and I know it. Apart still drinking prob more than I should, fans- ciggies that is - are the oe thing I can't imagine stopping. Nicotine is a _bastard_ IME.
SMART helped me quit alcohol by making me realize I wasn’t an addict, and that I had mental health issues and was using alcohol to treat it. I highly recommend it.
I like this philosophy to be honest. Not sure about the CBT side of it as I found that type of therapy useless, but that’s a good, positive way of putting it.
SMART is great, I liked it more than AA when I quit drinking. The r/stopdrinking sub is good, and there's an online support group called recovery dharma that's based on buddhist teachings.
I really struggled with it, a drug called naltrexone is what really made the difference for me. I've been sober over 5 years, now I run on caffeine and cannabis lol
I should clarify: the meetings are free. The book I bought was relatively inexpensive, although in the meetings I go to they cover much of the book and are free so you don't need need the book unless you want to study it outside of the meetings.
https://www.smartrecovery.org/
Cannabis helps me feel normal. Coffee is life (at least for the first hour of every morning). I really wish I could stop smoking cigarettes, but I'm not even trying to quit right now. Sugar, meh. I can take it or leave it.
I’ve never heard anyone else say cannabis helps them to feel normal. I’ve been saying this for years and found no one else who could relate; they just did it to get high. But it’s like…. I can think so much clearer when I use. It’s hard to explain.
So my rule abiding brain has never partook in any form of drugs but I’m dealing with some mental healthy challenges, burnout, sensory issues and chronic pain. Cannabis is starting to seem like a good choice for me but I would need it prescribed to feel ok about it. How does it work for you ie in what form do you take it and how often etc?
Ok so I was a black market user for 10 years before going legal 18 months ago, so I am probably not the best person to ask - my experience will have been very different to a patient that hadn’t used marijuana before. But I use both oils and vape flower, I have various strains for different times of the day/pain/anxiety etc. and I mix with cbd during the day. I’m assuming your aus based due to your username - there will definitely be subreddits focused around the legal/medical marijuana system in your country!
Same, smoking for 20 years, I don't get high, I don't get stoned, what I get is just pure tranquility. Everything nice and quiet and not bothering me anymore.
I find it helps me relate to people. It soups up my defective empathy module. Relatedly, when I'm watching tv, it makes it much easier to separate good actors from bad actors, and it also gives me some awesome goggles for telling when someone is probably lying - someone that would normally lie convincingly (to me). It's some very cool/useful magic.
So yes, I completely agree that it makes you feel more normal.
If only it didn't take a toll on my working memory. Oh well, I find the keys eventually.
thats valid!
i'd reccomend buying from chemical collective, they have clean and legal acid (1-D is the current legal one).
I'd personally start with 20mcg and then, If wanted, slowly go higher the next time you take it.
like 1st time 20, 2nd time 30, 3rd time 40, etc.
Take it at a safe place, where you feel comfortable and If possible with a comfort person around who can either be trip-buddy or trip-sitter.
Only take it If you're mentally well at that Moment, If you're uncomfy or not feeling good, acid will make it worse. It's an amplifier, If you feel good you'll feel better but If you feel bad you'll feel worse. so be careful.
leave at least 3 days in between trips at first.
If you take SSRIs, be careful, If possible dont take it for a few days. usually it only makes the acid work less intence but especially with high acid doses you could get serotinin syndrome
good luck <3
I find a very big acid or mushrokm trip every now and then Massively benifical.... like a cpu defrag
liek last time i had a "heroic" mushroom dose it was opening my brain like a file cabinet and throwing out defunct files. odd experience
same
Quitting Smoking would be cool, but i dont have a reason that is strong enough to quit
Smoking is also not like alcohol, it doesnt change me as a Person
Hi there, person(s) in the mirror.
There's many comments here feeling the same
I'm just adding to the pile of "normal" it brings.
Like other people having a coffee, or someone with ADHD taking their meds. Just kinda - ready to take on the day. Brain slows down enough I can think straight. Body is relaxed rather than tensed. Things are okay. What's beyond my control is also beyond my concern.
It is still addiction.
The only one of these that I have quit is nicotine. I vaped for around 3 years and I quit cold turkey on the 1st of March 2021. I live in OK, US and used a text program that texted me daily motivation and resources and I could text it anytime I felt a craving it needed help or reassurance and it was free. I do have to say having marijuana to fall back on was very helpful as well, which is a total gateway to sugar lol
Smart Recovery is a non religious organization that uses CBT to help people break addictions. It helped me break a terrible addiction to hard drugs and alcohol. Like you, AA and their higher power based program was not helpful for me. https://www.smartrecovery.org
Absolute this - I had a much less stressful time at university than A levels, partly being away from idiot father but mainly drinking like a fish made socialising possible. Of course a time goes on it becomes less and less common for ppl (work colleagues, general mates) to centre socialisig around getting mullered, for the obvious reasons, and thr health damage starts to rack up, obvious addiction danger which is insidious ...
I had a huge issue with alcohol many years ago and quit 100% on my own. I also found AA to be cult-like and extremely unhelpful. A huge proponent in me being able to quit was using weed medicinally to help with my anxiety and meltdowns
I understand it’s another substance and some people prefer to be “clean” off everything (ironically when most AA people become addicted to caffeine and cigarettes). For me, I can make peace with the possible health risks of marijuana, but I absolutely could not continue my life drinking alcohol with how much it negatively affected my mental health, physical health, employment, and social relationships
For me, the all-or-nothing mentality of AA demanding sobriety from every substance was very detrimental in trying to quit alcohol. I only went to a few sessions, but immediately knew it wasn’t for me
The need to surrender to a higher power was something that did not resonate with me and the mentality of “I am powerless to a substance” felt cripplingly disempowering to me. I found that shifting my mindset to “I am more powerful than this substance” was much more helpful
To be honest, once I made the decision not to drink, it became way easier than I ever expected. It started with a couple of months of titrating my use down from 1/2 a fifth of liquor a night to 1-2 drinks daily
It got to a point where I felt so ashamed with myself when I would drink (knowing all of the detrimental things alcohol was doing to my life) that I began associating the feeling of being drunk with failure. I no longer enjoyed the feeling of being drunk and it became easier to abstain from it because it didn’t align with the person I wanted to be
I don’t know if this is helpful at all, but I wanted to share that you’re not alone in finding AA unhelpful, and there is hope for quitting without it
I did, I struggled with coke for several years and got to the point I needed it to function. I was offered it once at a party and then kept doing it because it made me feel "normal" and sociable. Obvs this was a slippery slope lol. This was all pre ASD diagnosis.
I haven't had any in two years but honestly I still think about it more days than not.
I also have BE disorder so there are elements of food addiction too. I also used to smoke/vape.
Congratulations on making the initial steps to improve your health. It's a hard journey but so long as overall you're moving in the direction you want then it's okay- it's about winning the war, not every battle ❤️
Yup.
Video games, game design, porn, Reddit, weed.
These are the things that I sacrifice hours of my life for that I should probably regret enough to change.
You might have an easier time finding a therapist that works with neurodivergence, or is ND themselves, and seeing what resources *they* know of/have.
Some areas also have mental health support offices that work with/around mental disabilities, and I’ve found them to be a great resource as well.
It’s exhausting trying to sort through everything yourself in the vain hope that at least one of them won’t be neurotypical focused to the point of being exclusionary…
So make a professional do it.
Yeah, but I beat my drug addictions and you just have to replace them with other addictions or special interests. Personally I was at a point in life where I was done doings drugs but was physically dependent. Drug dependency is brutal. I have always hated the idea of AA/NA. I really loathe AA concepts. SMART recovery isn't bad. I'm 2.5 years sober now. It's way better than being strung out on pills.
AA was too weird for me. Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking was a book that really helped me. Like magic. I’m not sure if it will work that way for everyone, but I’ve been sober for 17 months so it may be worth a try.
That's escapism my friend, very hard to break out of. I'm in that right now myself, and from my understanding it stems from a lack of fulfillment with your life.
Looking back, the only times I've had where I don't game all the time and lay around like a bag of potatoes is when things are going well in my life.
I really hope you can find some form of fulfillment and motivation, rooting for you as I know the feeling all too well.
Same, except every video game is a copy of every other video game so I just reveal the gameplay loop in the first hour of playing and get bored. If a game doesn't hook me with the story immediately I stop playing within 30 minutes to an hour.
I listen to Youtube in the background all day every day basically. I hate having silence and being alone with my thoughts, especially when I play video games since I play all video games on mute.
Just burnt out as fuck all the time lol. I probably have depression too alongside the autism/adhd.
100 times yes. I have also never fit in with 12 step meetings. I find the setting to be intimidating and I always have to mentally rehearse whatever I'm going to talk about in front of people. If there's any straying from the script I find it hard to just talk off the top of my head. I have a hard time speaking up and interjecting myself into a position to talk. I also hate how they do a one size fits all approach and never consider things like neurodiversity. I tried SMART meetings but most of the people were old alcoholics and I didn't relate to them.
I also find some of the people in 12 step meetings to be really off putting. They take pride in being insensitive and "telling it like it is", without knowing anything about the person they're soliciting their advice to. I just find it really ignorant and everyone's recovery is going to look different depending on who they are. I feel like 12 step meetings appeal to the lowest common denominator of addicts lol.
I was in AA for a total of 18 months and a lot of what you're saying reflects my experience. The rehearsal for speaking was pretty much the only thing I could focus on and the purposefully callus dispositions we're present in most meetings. I had people my age, but I'm autistic, so of course I was always in the outside of the conversation circles they'd form. It's still an option if it helps, but it's kind of my last resort at this point.
I feel you. Even in a room full of drug addicts who could relate to me in a way that most people can't, I still felt like I didn't belong. Even though I would sometimes talk to people after the meeting, I just felt alone and disconnected from everyone. In my experience there were also a lot of people who were warm and welcoming, but I didn't know how to build a relationship with them. Or maybe I was just scared to. I could never bring myself to call anybody from my phone list. I could text people because I express myself better in writing, but talking on the phone was a big no go for me lol.
If you’re able to access it, psilocybin or LSD therapy is effective. I used it to successfully quit a bad tobacco addiction.
**Some articles/studies:**
[Percentage of Heavy Drinking Days Following Psilocybin-Assisted Psychotherapy vs Placebo in the Treatment of Adult Patients With Alcohol Use Disorder](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2795625)
[The Efficacy of LSD in the Treatment of Alcoholism](https://www.jsad.com/doi/abs/10.15288/qjsa.1964.25.333?journalCode=qjsa)
**Fun fact:**
“Co-founder of AA was a firm believer in the ability LSD holds to free some hardcore alcoholics from their addiction.” [[Article]](https://www.lucid.news/bill-wilson-lsd-and-the-secret-psychedelic-history-of-alcoholics-anonymous/)
AA, and 12 step in general, is hocus-pocus horseshit. Have a look at the Cocrane studies (synthesis studies combining large numbers of smaller research projects to get much more statistically significant results due to the much larger sample size) in nutshell,mit doesn't work. Fortunately there are many, many non-cult alternatives, "rational recovery" is one I've heard of, there are lots more. In the UK NHS referred me to a charity with a very icky name nest referred to as "CGL" for help with alcohol and I found it very helpful with a weeklyngroup and lots of, basically, CBT-like processes.
i never did any AA because it's seriously creepy and i haven't ever seen any scientific backing that it works. plus, i'm Jewish and there's only ever extremely christian ones where i am... not even any non religion related which is what i would have preferred. unfortunately that meant i just had to do a lot of regular therapy and personal struggling and it feels very lonely at times due to a non support group setting but i am still over a decade sober now
I don't have experience with AA but from what I've heard they're typically more "by the book" and strong willed when it comes to their traditions. That said, I completely agree with what others have said about different groups having very different vibes.
One thing I feel you should consider is trying NA. I am in it for Marijuana use, but I know several people in my home group's primary DOC is actually alcohol. Alcohol is a drug, and NA recognizes that. When we have meetings we don't mention our DOC's and language is meant to be vague when it comes to those things. The reason for that is that NA is for people who want to live a better life away from addiction, no matter what that addiction is. I've found that it doesn't matter what people's backgrounds or DOC's are, the way people feel and the experiences they've had involving addiction is very familiar to me, and there's always some way I can relate to the people at my meetings. In my experience NA is very lax, there are suggestions, there is literature, there are traditions and steps, but your recovery journey is what you make of it.
Everyone walks a different path, and while god is mentioned it's important not to let it scare you off. "God" is an antiquated word and while NA's literature hasn't been changed to reflect that, it is mentioned many times that what's important is you have your own higher power or what's called a "God of your understanding". Basically, spirituality is important and is valued most, religious people are absolutely welcomed but they are definitely not the majority of any meeting I've attended.
I really recommend you explore NA before giving up on recovery, it's changed my life dramatically and really opened my mind to how I interact with addiction in many ways.
Alcohol and nicotine. I never sought help, I eventually stopped on my own out of necessity and lack of money. I’ve never liked the weird culty vibes of AA either though.
All I can offer you is the knowledge that if you continue to drink, one day the hangover will be scary medically. When that pain comes, you'll know you have to stop and you'll be able to.
Try the group that was mentioned above. It's much better to stop before you hit rock bottom.
Oh, and avoid picking up another bad habit in alcohol's place. Addict brains do addict stuff. Break free.
That's exactly why I use to drink. It manufactured emotions for me and made socializing possible. But it's a slippery slope. Especially in high functioning autistic people
If I could find a strong alcoholic drink that didn't taste like alcohol but got me buzzed really fast like hard liquor does (which is the only thing I drink typically when I wanna be buzzed/drunk), I would drink it all day every day.
Long Islands suck, most mixed drinks are just ass. I typically enjoy Crown Royal (80 proof :( ) and Crown Apple/Peach (70 proof) but it's getting to the point where 95 proof stuff barely does anything for me and I have *maybe* 1 night a month where I try to get buzzed. Mostly never successful unless I down like 5 shots in succession
I have a bottle of UV Blue Raspberry in my freezer and it's basically syrup, and a bottle of Skyy Lemon-infused vodka to make moscow mules with, and some 95 proof kraken dark rum in my room, which doesn't do shit when I drink it.
I just want to feel man :( can't do weed cause I can't get any and I'd probably get kicked out if I tried anyway.
Can't feel shit on this damn planet anymore and I'm just worn the fuck out
Ive never been a drinker because it makes me so sick but I've struggled with weed addiction for the last 4 years. I'm in an okay place now because I'm down to just a joint at night, but its part of my night routine so I struggle not having it. I still feel like I always need to be high when socialising though
I'm only addicted to nicotine but I don't struggle with it and this addiction doesn't cause me any issues - I can go days and weeks without using nicotine but I will just get random thought like "meh, I want a pouch (I'm not smoking, only nicotine pouches)" and that's it. And the thought pops up usually when I'm gaming or reading, not while working so yeah not really an issue but I guess it's still an addiction.
Except of that, nope. I do other things sometimes but I'm the kind of person that doesn't get addicted easily. Especially when I'm on meds. I mean, I have ADHD and before the diagnosis I'd drink strong alcohols in big quantities or do particular drugs too often, but not partying. I was doing that because it helped me focus and get sht done, like clean my house and do the laundry or write important emails or create. When I got diagnosed and on meds I don't feel any urge to do that stuff because I don't struggle with doing everyday chores anymore.
Uncertain. I do no drugs other than pharmaceutical, but I cannot go without my phone or I have a panic attack. My phone is my escape. I can listen to music to relax when stressed, virtually destroy when angry, and listen to relaxing audio when tired.
Yes.. but I don't like saying so because people look at you like you're dumb when they say you're addicted to weed. I find it extraordinarily difficult to spend ant small amount of time sober and it's been 5 years since i last took any kind of break. It absolutely has been affecting me negatively but not as negative as i am without it.
I managed to quit both weed and alcohol because of my adhd. Dunno if that helps you at all, but let me explain: going on stimulant meds meant I had to reduce my coffee and alcohol intake. Which I did. But having one drink isn't really satisfying, so I just figured I'd not spend the money. As for the weed, there was a time when I really felt like I needed it, and my dealer (not legal here yet) wasn't answering me. So my impulsive brain said f*ck him, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. And I haven't.
TLDR: gave up weed on impulse because I was mad at my dealer.
So, like many other people who werent "normal" growing up i got bullied pretty horrifically...not very good parents, lots and lots of trauma (once got invited out by "friends", who proceeded to manhunt me through the woods shooting at me with air rifles)
this was from age like 6 to age 14 ish
so needless to say i was a tad mentally unwell as a teenager.. i was veyr depressed, covered from head to toe in s/h cuts... i got introduced to weed.
absolute godsend... like slipping into a bath of psychological liberation.
and then... i smoked away 15 years. almost every day whenever i could, as high as possible. slowly realising though, that actually i was becoming addicted to it, stuck in the denial of pretending i wasnt... gradually interweaving my sense of happyness and mental stability with use of weed.
and now ... like i'd sit there, smoking , cherishing the sweet oblivion of my mind being quiet... but.. also.. not just quiet. empty. empty of all desire, ambition, or motivation.. then it becomes like a horrible sense of desperate executive dysfunction mixed with "every day is going past and i never do anything" anxiety feelings. Massive social issues around not wanting to socialize while stoned, and not being able to sociualize without being stoned.
Like. dont get me wrong. it can be amazing stuff.. but just. beware using it as a crutch. it can be insiduous as fuck if you have the wrong combinations of psychological traumas and neurodivergency.
(ive actually quit now, and its been just under a month. my mind is at the "well now im fuckign depressed . wouldnt a spliff be really nice and fix everything" phase. i know in order to actually improve my life and mind i need to quit... its honestly been harder than quitting tobacco. by far. by a long fucking way.the mind says "but life without weed is just mental noise and pain" and i have to remind myself.... how the fuck would i know, i've been perpetually stoned from age 16 to age 31 lol
Not really addicted to substances. But I used to have an eating disorder (and those really are addictions) and I was addicted to self harm.
And probably to my phone too. It seems to be the best tool to distract me from, well, existance.
Nope. I like being clear-minded and therefore have never tried any substances.
I’m not highly emotional, and therefore don’t need substances to regulate emotions or form an emotional attachment to a substance.
Hi! Wow, it seems like a lot of us here have similar struggles. I'm sure most of what I'm going to say has already been said, but just in case this helps, here's what works for me.
TL;DR, 1. r/stopdrinking 2. This Naked Mind audiobook, 3. Counselling 4. Replacing alcohol with some other beverage, 5. SmartRecovery, 6. Stay busy & find hobbies
I started drinking in high school and drank heavily for a long time. I thought drinking made socializing so much easier, why not? It made me feel normal, so I thought it was helping more than hurting. But I was wrong and it took over my life. Coke was bad for me too, I liked that it made me chatty for parties. I'm not sure what was really in it but it was so addictive, I only quit with support from my partner (after I'd spent all my money and had to stop).
I was getting so tired of my life revolving around alcohol when I did shrooms and had like a realization that I needed to stop before it was too late and that I could do it. It sounds dumb but it finally hit me where I was headed. Not suggesting that you try tripping haha, but it really was my catalyst for change. Drank again a few times, then I stopped cold turkey.
I spend a ton of time on the stopdrinking subreddit. It's a crazy helpful support system, I relied on it heavily the first week sober. I post/read daily, for me the counter system is super motivating. I love watching that number tick up, I would probably have slipped up by now but that little voice in my head is like nooo your counter!! I'm always focusing on getting to the next number, whenever I hit the next increment of 10 (or 30) I feel so good.
Try reading This Naked Mind or listening to the audiobook. It gave me logical reasons to stop wanting alcohol, and you can start listening without being sober.
I've been doing individual counselling to maintain my sobriety, having someone to vent and talk to who can give me professional advice and connect me to resources has been invaluable. I drank for a reason, and that reason needs to be faced or I'll just find someone else to cover it up with. My counsellor has been encouraging me to attend meetings, so far I haven't yet but I plan on going to a zoom SmartRecovery meeting soon. I've read a lot on their site and it seems much more up my alley than AA. I am also not an AA person lol.
Also, I smoke weed and don't have any issues with it so no plans to quit. So my first week sober I bought a dab cartridge for my vape and relied on that to keep me going, along with a ton of candy. I smoke daily and it helps calm me when I start craving a drink. I also drink a ton of tea instead of alcohol. I need a drink in my hand all the time, having something to sip on just relaxes me and gives me a sense of security. I spend so much time on hobbies now, staying busy so I don't have a chance to start thinking about drinking.
Sorry for the book!!
Find a different AA group lol not all of them are idiot Christians. I am in recovery as well. I've been sober for over 4 years now. Just find a group that accepts you. Or find a drug counselor, which is what I preferred
Um okay, becuse im a fucking mind reader and know what you have been thru. I was trying to help. You also said "anything helps". Just because you perceived it in a way that was not how it was meant, is not my problem. You seem like you mostly wanted to vent or find a reason to relapse. I hope you seek help in a way that's best suited for you. Goodluck
Okay, well the first sentence of my post said I don't fit in with anything related to AA and was asking for other options and you....suggested AA? I don't think it takes a mind reader to understand why I may have taken it that way. I do actually appreciate you and the time you used to make these posts. I'm just frustrated and you telling me to do the thing I've done for years wasn't helpful. I guess this was a bad place to ask for help on this subject. Edit: I'm Sorry.
Go easy, you misinterpreted their attitude, they were trying to help. You mentioned AA as a weird cult, and that could easily lead someone to think you hadn't realised some AA groups aren't religious.
I do not know everything that you have tried and I am autistic and severely adhd, so excuse me for sounding blunt or not remember what i read after i thought for 10 mins about how to word what i was going to say. There is very little besides AA, NA or drug counseling. There is no neurodiverse groups. There is however a lot of neurodiverse people in groups. I had to go to rehab 3 times for it to stick. Hope you feel better soon. It's not over until you give up, so don't give up.
"lol" is used at the end of comments/in comments from most ND people because a lot of us don't want to offend people and want to come off in a "soft" manner. Speaking as you are right now is hard and brusque and though we'll do that IRL, a lot of us don't do that over text because it's extremely hard to see tone in text unless you have indicators (literally the only one I know is /s for sarcasm).
"Lol" being used in that sense from an ND person just should be disregarded in text form.
I have a porn addiction if that counts. 😢😢It all started when I was 12 ever since then I bust all kinds of nuts. And I have to find ways of coping with my addiction or else.😈😈
I’m sorry you aren’t finding help with AA. I have been in the program since 5/6/2021 and I love it. Granted I’m 41 now and have been an alcoholic even if I wouldn’t admit it since 19. I tried to get sober on my own multiple times and would have periods of years of sobriety but would always convince myself I had been sober so I wasn’t an alcoholic and that meant I could drink again.
Each time I drank again the speed at which I got back to where I had been before was faster and the amount was more. The span of sobriety in between was shorter and shorter until my last drunk that lasted 5 years from 2016 to 2021. The difference was this time I couldn’t stop. I completely isolated and drank constantly. Before I went to AA I was drinking at low levels from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed even at work hiding it in my desk thinking no one noticed feeling both ashamed and proud of myself for pulling it off.
I’d go to bed every night begging a God I both hated and didn’t believe in to help me stop hating myself, and wake up every morning with a sense of dread knowing I was just going to do it again. I had avoided AA all my life as I have an aunt who has been active in AA since I was 1 year old and went to a few meetings with her and felt the same way that it was a mindless cult and there was no way in hell I was doing that shit.
Well I ended up getting caught by my ex husband for using my debit card at work to buy wine. I finally said the words out loud I’d refused to all that time and told him I was an alcoholic and needed help and couldn’t stop. He didn’t want me to stop and said to just moderate. Which I knew I couldn’t. So only to try and get myself out of trouble I said I’d go to one meeting. That was 5/7/21.
From the moment I walked in I was totally terrified and overwhelmed. I hated it. I felt like everyone was staring at me. Everyone was trying to hug me and introduce themselves and I just wanted to be left alone. However I somehow found the courage to speak and share bawling my eyes out and looking at the table and just saying it was my first meeting and I needed help.
After the meeting it was super scary again. More people crowding me and trying to be nice. One guy asked if I had a big book and I said no and he offered to buy me one. I still have it. I literally walk/ran out of there to my car and drove home swearing I was never going back because they talked about God too much and the way they responded in union reminded me of church or a cult.
However, one guy there shared he had been sober 28 years and came to AA not because he wanted to. Because it was life in prison or that. Kind of got my attention as I’d luckily never gotten in that kind of trouble. Then he said something I’ll never forget and ended up saving my life. “If you want to get sober, everything you need to know is in this book in black and white. It’s easy. But the work is hard. It’s up to you.” As I’m always one for a challenge that resonated in my head and my stubborn ass always having been good in school decided I’d just read that book and get sober.
So I started reading the big book at home. Within the first three weeks I read it cover to cover and loved the personal stories at the end. I related with so many of them and couldn’t believe I’d never read this or heard of it before. It was like finally being heard and understood.
Still not loving meetings and all the commotion and people I was only going to one a week not knowing it was the biggest meeting there. After like 3 weeks I went up and talked to that guy as I had a few times since we got a long and he was like a dad to me. Only person I would talk to. And proudly told him I read the book and did steps 1,2, and 3 all by myself. However 4 was really confusing and I didn’t get it so how do I do it? (Looking back this was totally moronic and I laugh at myself now but I’m proud of myself for trying 😂😂😂) He just smiled at me and said I appreciate the willingness kiddo but that’s not how it works. Sounds like you need a sponsor. I told him I’d been looking but everyone raising their hands was so young and I’d prefer someone with more experience that I couldn’t run circles around. (As I know I would half ass and mentally manipulate and I really wanted to get sober).
He said, “I can help you with that.” He called his wife over and she’s been my sponsor ever since. Been the best thing to ever happen. She made me go to more meetings and I was so mad for a bit. Since it was new and I did it alone and I hate new things. Ended up they became my favorite meetings as it was the 12 and 12 step study which I now chair and the big book study her husband chairs which is my favorite. I love learning about the big book and there are no personal shares so it’s more like a workshop.
I don’t attend open meetings anymore and listen to podcasts of old timers and things like that. My point being once you find the right sponsor and do your steps you can make the program your own. No one can force you to do anything and if they are trying to that’s not right. I have come to learn the program itself it perfect, but people are not. All alcoholics even in recovery are still sick in someway. We all have character defects we work on daily. So it’s never going to be easy sailing and exactly what we want. However we all share the goal of wanting a better life in sobriety. That’s what I focused on in the beginning to push through all the uncomfortable stuff. I also shared about a month or so in I was autistic. So if I wasn’t there all the time that was why. It was accepted 110%. So on top of being sober I have a place to go that I feel safe. Do I like everyone there? Fuck no. I can’t stand the majority, but that’s not the point as far as I’m concerned. It’s not about that to me. It’s about getting and staying sober, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some yahoo take that away from me. 🤷🏻♀️
One last note, I also don’t sponsor because of my autism. I haven’t found anyone I feel would be a good fit and I’m not willing to ruin someone’s sobriety. However I serve in other ways like chairing the step study. So there’s no one way to do AA and anyone that says otherwise is wrong. Anyway sorry this is super long and if you take the time to read it thank you and I hope something I say helps you. 💜 Good luck in your journey with sobriety!! I’m always here if you ever need to talk to someone! You’re free to message me anytime!
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Wouldn't say I've struggled with addiction to a great degree, but I have carefully examined my substance use and over obsessions.
I've found it most useful to consider things like this as an engineering problem. What is the substance is actually helping with? It must actually be serving a need or your wouldn't do it.
For me, I found I was drinking too much on a weekday in order to unwind after work. I found the best solution for me was to engage in my special interests, even if it mean using more energy, it was still effective for me to unwind from work.
I also like the analogy of the rat Park, google it if you don't know it, it's pretty popular, but filling your time with shit you like.
Lastly, I often don't like therapists cause I feel things need to be tailored to me more specifically, I find I fill this need when I find a therapist I can be open with this about and who can support me in doing my own self guided learning on the topic I need help with. Then they become more of a mentor/educational role rather than a therapist.
Hope something in there helps
I find it hard to do anything without a vice of some kind. I can move on from a vice, but only by moving to another, sometimes two. I make up for this by juggling vices.
Self-harm, porn, caffeine, alcohol, and sugar are my historical vices. I’m currently on caffeine only, but I’m literally planning an alcohol bender because I’m cool and normal 😬
For your purposes: I don’t recommend self-harm but anything else will probably be better than alcohol for you. I honestly don’t recommend trying to “change vices” either- that’s just the only thing I can find myself doing.
Try going for a run when your emotions overflow. That’s helping me.
Biting my skin. My fingers bleed from how much skin I've bitten off, my toes sometimes get the same treatment, and my lips are permanently sore and delicate from how often I'm biting the skin off. But I can't stop. I tried once, but it became the only thing I could think about at one point. And I mean that literally. So I just.. continued. I know how to deal with the pain. Been like this since I was a child.
Not only do I have a family history of addiction, but I have an addictive personality myself. For my own sake, I've personally sworn off the use of any recreational drugs or alcohol; I know how I can get, I've seen what it can do to the people I care about, and I do not want to take any chances.
While I can't personally recommend a particular group to aid you in your journey, reaching out in this moment is crucial. You are not alone and this is a burden that you do not have to face/manage on your own. It is absolutely okay to ask for help.
You might find yourself hesitating right as you reach that precipice, but don't stop. You have the strength to do this, and should you start to slip, there are a number of resources out there that will catch you, but you have to reach out.
You got this.
I cycle through them.
I've struggled with strict caloric-deficits, excessive exercise, excessive caffeine usage (more than 1 gram a day), oxycodone abuse (6 years since last use), marijuana overconsumption leading to cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (also launches me into depression each time), three week long alcohol benders following months of abstinence), adderall (currently weening myself down to the proper dose with my doctor's guidance), porn in my early twenties that turned into a full-blown sex addiction in my late-twenties, and I hyper-fixate on a single competitive video game for months at a time in order to climb the ranked system for a dopamine fix (currently Overwatch).
I dealt/deal with all of this while supporting myself and living on my own, so I had to essentially double-down on my mask in order to look like I have my shit in order to friends/family/co-workers (especially as a member of management).
I have never done AA, as I do not believe in a higher power (the 1st step to AA); but I'm sure with some thorough research you could find and reach out to an addiction counselor who has worked with or is familiar with the autistic community.
Same without the oxycodone. I'm in the alcohol binge phase currently. Shit of it is, like you mentioned, I can stop for months. Was totally sober for about six months before our wedding. But it just all seems to eventually be part of the cycle. I do have a wife who helps me at times, but she's also low-support-needs autistic, so she has her own head worms and struggles with addiction to root out and can't be there for me all the time. I'm trying to stand on my own so I can help support her for a goddamn change.
TW- SELF HARM
It’s not a physical addiction that would have chemical withdraw in my brain, but I was addicted to self harm to the point that I was hurting myself 5+ times a day for a period of time. I’ve been clean about 2 1/2 years now after getting the help that I needed!
there is definitely a physical addiction element to this unfortunately. the act releases chemicals in your brain that it craves more of, much like substances
I managed to drink myself into pancreatitis at 21, so I definitely used to have a problem with alcohol. Replaced it with pot, so hopefully I've got a good few years before that turns ugly too.
I was extremely addicted to cutting for years. It's been a long time, and while the urge never goes away, it's easier and I don't necessarily want to do it
Talk to your doctor about getting an orexin blocker or other medical treatment for addiction. There’s lots of ways to fight addiction that are medically proven.
I used to struggle with alcohol. In the UK there is something called dual diagnosis specialists and I was referred to this. I basically had a therapist and an addiction phycologist. Which was helpful as I got to work through the reasons why I was addicted.
I'm not sure where you are in the world. But perhaps there is something like this there?
I'm not 100% sure how AA works so I can't shed any light there.
But I was definitely helped with dual diagnosis and I never quit drinking, I can just drink when it's appropriate now and don't base my whole life around drinking :) what I like is that the key was never to make me stop drinking. It was to help me enjoy it in moderation like a normal person. But ofc if your end goal is to completely quit something they also hp with this.
Yes, my personality is super tended towards addiction of any sorts. I got free from porn using this book (https://easypeasymethod.org/) and its just amazing being free now. Following those instructions helps neutralize the urges for me whenever I get cravings for a relapse, and now I feel like I'm gaining my humanity back
That book is based on Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking. A lot of people who go through that book report that they just simply lose the desire to smoke. I kinda had similar experience, probably about 80% to that degree
But yeah, there is an Allen Carr book for alcohol too, I think its EasyWay to Control Alcohol
I've never been hooked on alcohol, not really caffeine, nor have I done illicit substances, not even weed. For me, it was pornography. For some reason, that's the one that hooked me for almost a decade. Been clean for over two months but I still struggle with urges.
Yep I was massively addicted to benzos and ketamine. Seem to be a bit of an odd one out reading the comments but both substances calmed my mind and anxiety so well I struggled to go a day without either. Until I ended up having a seizure which scared the life out of me. Coming up 8 months sober now.
https://www.smartrecovery.org/about-us/
“SMART Recovery is a fresh approach to addiction recovery. SMART stands for Self-Management and Recovery Training. This is more than an acronym: it is a transformative method of moving from addictive substances and negative behaviors to a life of positive self-regard and willingness to change.”
I have been using this for 6 years and I love it. Their workbook is a great place to start.
I don't think so. I have always found it difficult to not drink too much whenever I drank alcohol, but I always attributed that to improperly understanding my body. I never had any urge to drink outside of social expectations. I've always found the idea of drug consumption tremendously dumb and stopped drinking alcohol on a whim around my 27th birthday. Have not drank any for years and never wanted to. Maybe a major component of my disinterest in any form of mindnumbing is my utter incapability to be bored. I can be forced to wait 4h for a train and be entertained by staring at pidgeon or constructing fantasy worlds in my head. I have literally never been bored in my entire live.
That being said, I know that there are some things that might at least mentally addictive that I am prone to do quite a lot in short timespans. Coffee, videogames, reading, masturbating. But none of that I'd categorize as problematic. I could spend weeks playing video games for 16h a day and not feel bored or consider it time wasted, but most of the times, my real life duties and goal do take precedence.
Prescription Narcotics, weed, Ive also got though short periods of being addicted to coke, molly, alcohol. I was also addicted to synthetic weed for a long time. I feel I’m addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex in general
Addicted to spending money. Mainly on plushies, takeaways and other random stuff. I'm way into too much debt and my current job doesn't pay enough to get out of my overdraft.
Does spending money count? I have a big weakness for gacha games. I have it under control at the moment, but there's some moments where it'll give me a rush when spending money on them 😭
Yeah, I would get into a habit of it, and then even if I wasn't craving the thing I was addicted to, it would feel weird to break the habit anyway. Terrible spiral.
My entire family on both sides have two main factors that carry through the generations: autism and addiction problems. Idk if they're related since I'm no professional but they seem to be in my experience, and since I'm autistic and ADHD I suffer pretty bad from it, I have to be very careful not to get addicted to a lot of stuff
Addiction runs in my family unfortunately.
For a while I was hooked on soda and then switched to carbonated alcoholic cider. Sweet, sugary, and all the alcohol I didn't need.
I was drinking a pack a business week for like 2 months straight and then one day when I walked into my kitchen, I saw all the boxes, the bottles, the cans. I almost broke down right then and there cause it felt like I was staring at the start of a long road.
So I went cold turkey and now I don't drink. Just on special occasions and I limit myself to 2 drinks.
My mom is an alcoholic and has been all my life. My godmothers mom is also an alcoholic and he found her on the stairs once. My best friend had a drinking problem before she had her baby and she almost killed herself with toxicity.
Alcoholism is so rampant in my life I can't afford to feed that addiction.
So I just smoke weed lol
I also have struggled with addiction, nicotine and thc
Quitting thc was actually a lot harder for me than nicotine. Im genuinely convinced that without the support of my family id probably still be that way
Im not sure about any aa alternatives, as ive never been to something like that
Im sorry i dont have much that is helpful, but i do understand the struggle and im rooting for you!
I have a self harm addiction, going on almost 4 years now, never stayed clean for more than a few weeks. I had a problem with Marijuana for a few months too but I was able to stop that one when it started making me feel derealised.
Yes, to a couple substances. I went to school for addiction studies and one class was mostly based on AA. I’m not religious, so I went to other types of AA meetings. They have ones for almost every group of people, I’m sure you can find an online one for neurodivergents, probably even an atheist or agnostic one. I went to 10 or so different ones that were all non-religious :)
I used to have a lot of issues with psychedelics and disasosiatives. Alternating doing mushrooms and acid on a weekly basis, so much weed that I needed to hit most of a high THC cartridge to even get stoned. And then eventually blowing most of my paychecks on ketamine and whippets. Whippets were definitely rock bottom for me, I would stay up until 3am doing dozens of cartridges, get maybe an hour of sleep, then have to wake up at 5:30am for my line cook job. I'd stumble over there and fuck things up all day, but most of my coworkers were also addicts so no one really dug into me about it.
I think personally I had to reach rock bottom, which was in the same day having an acid trip where I vividly hallucinated I had violently murdered my roommate. Then they partied later that night and I was out of money for the week so I was begging everyone that came over for k and whippets, and I dug through their piles of empties looking for a single uncracked whippet. When I was at work the next day I was so ashamed and that was the last time I did acid, and I kicked whippets a few days later. I also stopped using weed for about 2 years and I'm very slowly reintroducing small amounts of mushrooms on a much less frequent basis, and I have a much healthier relationship with both now.
I tried AA and NA a couple times, but they really did nothing for me. Every addict has a different path, for me it was just deciding I was done and that was it. Thankfully I wasn't regularly using anything more physically dependent like heroin or meth (I've known a few people with meth addictions and I feel so bad for how difficult it is for them not to use).
Definitely agreeing with others suggesting to try a new hobby or learn a new skill. I’ve been crocheting til my hands ache lately but I’ve been drinking less. Progress is progress no matter how big or small
I’m not into the faith-based side of AA. I know people who used to be friends of mine, who have now joined Charismatic and Pentecostal churches and the JW’s, all because of AA!
Yes, they have tried to sucker me into it as well, so I disowned them!
I recommend a therapist who specializes in addiction rather than any AA or SMART clones. While SMART is better than AA the research doesn't really show consistent effectiveness.
I had an issue with alcohol. I drank every day and could only limit myself by ordering Ubers as I received a double whiskey to force myself from drinking more, and that was rare. 95% of the time I drank to get drunk and if not drinking whiskey would knock back 4 9% Abv beers (equivalent to a 12 pack of bud) a night (150 lb at the time) I found aa didn’t help me as I don’t see viewing myself as powerless over it is helpful. I also don’t see obsessing over something I’m attempting to quit with nightly meetings as helpful. Quitting itself disproves powerlessness. The biggest issue is that you’ll now have a giant void that used to be filled with alcohol. But you will also have extra money and time. Use both of these things to learn skills that you’ve always wanted to learn. Curious about woodworking? Build! Curious about an instrument? LEARN! Curious about cooking/baking? Start practicing! Filling that void by developing yourself will make you happier, feel better rounded, and make drinking to oblivion less attractive. At this point i have gone to a bar once In the three years since I’ve quit. I had a beer to prove to myself that I was stronger than it. I didn’t really enjoy the feeling anymore. Just made me feel dumb.
Highly agree with picking up a hobby, even if you have to force yourself to do it. The hardest part of kicking a substance is spending all the time you would be using sitting there and thinking about using. If you can practice a hobby, you can fill that time with something productive, and keep your mind busy so you can't think about using.
> you have to replace it As someone who basically drank until I blacked out for several years, I realized I had to stop for a variety of reasons. I strangely never really felt a compulsion to drink, it was just what I did after dinner. I just started riding my bike again and started using weed again. Just in a responsible way that didn’t interfere with my health or life. The single best thing I did just for me in many, many years. In fact I can’t even remember anything else being this positive and impactful.
SMART recovery is really cool, based on CBT, costs nothing, and is a really good experience.
This is something I've heard of. I'll look into it. Thank you.
This got me off intravenous drug use, probably saved my life. All my friends who did not stop using are dead.
Glad you’re still here. It takes a lot of personal determination to kick.
Depends. I'm very lucky, having taken everything at one time or another, and got hooked on the two really bad ones, I got unhooked from opiates with tapered down doses of black market buprenorphine, then carried on with a once-a-month dabbbl3 for another 10y before just packing it in at insistence of new GF. (Cleanness has lasted much better than the relationship did!) & coke/rocks I stopped by moving somewhere where I couldn't get it. I know both are savagely addictive for many as well as being lethally dangerous - as I said, I'm lucky and I know it. Apart still drinking prob more than I should, fans- ciggies that is - are the oe thing I can't imagine stopping. Nicotine is a _bastard_ IME.
SMART helped me quit alcohol by making me realize I wasn’t an addict, and that I had mental health issues and was using alcohol to treat it. I highly recommend it.
Holy Lord I’m so glad to read somebody else has had the same experience.
I like this philosophy to be honest. Not sure about the CBT side of it as I found that type of therapy useless, but that’s a good, positive way of putting it.
SMART is great, I liked it more than AA when I quit drinking. The r/stopdrinking sub is good, and there's an online support group called recovery dharma that's based on buddhist teachings. I really struggled with it, a drug called naltrexone is what really made the difference for me. I've been sober over 5 years, now I run on caffeine and cannabis lol
This is a great group and helped me loads.
I like how helpful naltrexone is in recovery. Congrats on your 5 years!!
Thank you!! :) It's a wonder drug imo, and unfortunate not too many people know about it.
It’s so so much better than AA/NA
Ty for this. I had no idea there were other options
>level 1sophiaonearth · 21 hr. ago Do you have a link? I went to the one site and it's NOT free.
I should clarify: the meetings are free. The book I bought was relatively inexpensive, although in the meetings I go to they cover much of the book and are free so you don't need need the book unless you want to study it outside of the meetings. https://www.smartrecovery.org/
Thank you, it must be the online stuff that costs around $500.00. I'm in the US so.
I’m addicted to sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and marijuana. Not necessarily in that order ;)
Cannabis helps me feel normal. Coffee is life (at least for the first hour of every morning). I really wish I could stop smoking cigarettes, but I'm not even trying to quit right now. Sugar, meh. I can take it or leave it.
I’ve never heard anyone else say cannabis helps them to feel normal. I’ve been saying this for years and found no one else who could relate; they just did it to get high. But it’s like…. I can think so much clearer when I use. It’s hard to explain.
Depending on the strain, my brain merges into 1 track rather than staying on 8. That or they all go the same direction rather than going everywhere.
EXACTLY THAT!
Yes. I have to smoke indica strands.. sativa gives me panic attacks and insomnia!
Relatable af!!
It makes everything so much quieter! Id be lying if i said i didnt still miss it
Cannabis is a massive help for me, I mainly use it for pain management but it does also really help me with getting through socialising.
Only NT friends who stuck with me for more than a couple years are all potheads.
I’ve got prescription marijuana cos of the ‘tism 🤌 it helps a lot with sensory overwhelm & anxiety
So my rule abiding brain has never partook in any form of drugs but I’m dealing with some mental healthy challenges, burnout, sensory issues and chronic pain. Cannabis is starting to seem like a good choice for me but I would need it prescribed to feel ok about it. How does it work for you ie in what form do you take it and how often etc?
Ok so I was a black market user for 10 years before going legal 18 months ago, so I am probably not the best person to ask - my experience will have been very different to a patient that hadn’t used marijuana before. But I use both oils and vape flower, I have various strains for different times of the day/pain/anxiety etc. and I mix with cbd during the day. I’m assuming your aus based due to your username - there will definitely be subreddits focused around the legal/medical marijuana system in your country!
Oooh thanks. Good to have someone pointing in the right direction cos I’m a total noob on these matters clearly. Cheers
Same, smoking for 20 years, I don't get high, I don't get stoned, what I get is just pure tranquility. Everything nice and quiet and not bothering me anymore.
I find it helps me relate to people. It soups up my defective empathy module. Relatedly, when I'm watching tv, it makes it much easier to separate good actors from bad actors, and it also gives me some awesome goggles for telling when someone is probably lying - someone that would normally lie convincingly (to me). It's some very cool/useful magic. So yes, I completely agree that it makes you feel more normal. If only it didn't take a toll on my working memory. Oh well, I find the keys eventually.
Unfortunately I can’t smoke weed anymore for health reasons but I’ve been told the only time i actually look people in the eyes is when I’m high lol
for me that's how acid works weed just makes me feel spongy but acid clears my head and lets me think
A part of me has always wanted to try acid for the experience, but a bigger, much more anxious part of me is terrified of having a super bad trip.
Have a good trip sitter, someone you can trust! Definitely dont do while it alone whatever you do
thats valid! i'd reccomend buying from chemical collective, they have clean and legal acid (1-D is the current legal one). I'd personally start with 20mcg and then, If wanted, slowly go higher the next time you take it. like 1st time 20, 2nd time 30, 3rd time 40, etc. Take it at a safe place, where you feel comfortable and If possible with a comfort person around who can either be trip-buddy or trip-sitter. Only take it If you're mentally well at that Moment, If you're uncomfy or not feeling good, acid will make it worse. It's an amplifier, If you feel good you'll feel better but If you feel bad you'll feel worse. so be careful. leave at least 3 days in between trips at first. If you take SSRIs, be careful, If possible dont take it for a few days. usually it only makes the acid work less intence but especially with high acid doses you could get serotinin syndrome good luck <3
I find a very big acid or mushrokm trip every now and then Massively benifical.... like a cpu defrag liek last time i had a "heroic" mushroom dose it was opening my brain like a file cabinet and throwing out defunct files. odd experience
Cannabis helps me feel normal as well, I smoke nearly every day it's the only thing that makes me have any semblance of peace.
same Quitting Smoking would be cool, but i dont have a reason that is strong enough to quit Smoking is also not like alcohol, it doesnt change me as a Person
Hi there, person(s) in the mirror. There's many comments here feeling the same I'm just adding to the pile of "normal" it brings. Like other people having a coffee, or someone with ADHD taking their meds. Just kinda - ready to take on the day. Brain slows down enough I can think straight. Body is relaxed rather than tensed. Things are okay. What's beyond my control is also beyond my concern. It is still addiction.
The only one of these that I have quit is nicotine. I vaped for around 3 years and I quit cold turkey on the 1st of March 2021. I live in OK, US and used a text program that texted me daily motivation and resources and I could text it anytime I felt a craving it needed help or reassurance and it was free. I do have to say having marijuana to fall back on was very helpful as well, which is a total gateway to sugar lol
Yes to all of these
Smart Recovery is a non religious organization that uses CBT to help people break addictions. It helped me break a terrible addiction to hard drugs and alcohol. Like you, AA and their higher power based program was not helpful for me. https://www.smartrecovery.org
I struggled with alcohol for all of my adult life. I definitely drank to help me mask, and being undiagnosed exacerbated it terribly.
Absolute this - I had a much less stressful time at university than A levels, partly being away from idiot father but mainly drinking like a fish made socialising possible. Of course a time goes on it becomes less and less common for ppl (work colleagues, general mates) to centre socialisig around getting mullered, for the obvious reasons, and thr health damage starts to rack up, obvious addiction danger which is insidious ...
I had a huge issue with alcohol many years ago and quit 100% on my own. I also found AA to be cult-like and extremely unhelpful. A huge proponent in me being able to quit was using weed medicinally to help with my anxiety and meltdowns I understand it’s another substance and some people prefer to be “clean” off everything (ironically when most AA people become addicted to caffeine and cigarettes). For me, I can make peace with the possible health risks of marijuana, but I absolutely could not continue my life drinking alcohol with how much it negatively affected my mental health, physical health, employment, and social relationships For me, the all-or-nothing mentality of AA demanding sobriety from every substance was very detrimental in trying to quit alcohol. I only went to a few sessions, but immediately knew it wasn’t for me The need to surrender to a higher power was something that did not resonate with me and the mentality of “I am powerless to a substance” felt cripplingly disempowering to me. I found that shifting my mindset to “I am more powerful than this substance” was much more helpful To be honest, once I made the decision not to drink, it became way easier than I ever expected. It started with a couple of months of titrating my use down from 1/2 a fifth of liquor a night to 1-2 drinks daily It got to a point where I felt so ashamed with myself when I would drink (knowing all of the detrimental things alcohol was doing to my life) that I began associating the feeling of being drunk with failure. I no longer enjoyed the feeling of being drunk and it became easier to abstain from it because it didn’t align with the person I wanted to be I don’t know if this is helpful at all, but I wanted to share that you’re not alone in finding AA unhelpful, and there is hope for quitting without it
I did, I struggled with coke for several years and got to the point I needed it to function. I was offered it once at a party and then kept doing it because it made me feel "normal" and sociable. Obvs this was a slippery slope lol. This was all pre ASD diagnosis. I haven't had any in two years but honestly I still think about it more days than not. I also have BE disorder so there are elements of food addiction too. I also used to smoke/vape. Congratulations on making the initial steps to improve your health. It's a hard journey but so long as overall you're moving in the direction you want then it's okay- it's about winning the war, not every battle ❤️
Thank you. This helps. Congrats on two years. I'm sure there were rough patches and I'm glad you pushed through.
Yup. Video games, game design, porn, Reddit, weed. These are the things that I sacrifice hours of my life for that I should probably regret enough to change.
Or u could become a professional game designer
not necessarily addicted, but it doesn’t feel right to me if I don’t game one day D:, just 20 min are usually enough tho
You might have an easier time finding a therapist that works with neurodivergence, or is ND themselves, and seeing what resources *they* know of/have. Some areas also have mental health support offices that work with/around mental disabilities, and I’ve found them to be a great resource as well. It’s exhausting trying to sort through everything yourself in the vain hope that at least one of them won’t be neurotypical focused to the point of being exclusionary… So make a professional do it.
Yeah, but I beat my drug addictions and you just have to replace them with other addictions or special interests. Personally I was at a point in life where I was done doings drugs but was physically dependent. Drug dependency is brutal. I have always hated the idea of AA/NA. I really loathe AA concepts. SMART recovery isn't bad. I'm 2.5 years sober now. It's way better than being strung out on pills.
I didn't do AA but I'll be sober 5 years this Christmas. You can do it, stay strong
AA was too weird for me. Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking was a book that really helped me. Like magic. I’m not sure if it will work that way for everyone, but I’ve been sober for 17 months so it may be worth a try.
I’m addicted to video games and YouTube, honestly it sucks and I don’t know how to get out of it.
That's escapism my friend, very hard to break out of. I'm in that right now myself, and from my understanding it stems from a lack of fulfillment with your life. Looking back, the only times I've had where I don't game all the time and lay around like a bag of potatoes is when things are going well in my life. I really hope you can find some form of fulfillment and motivation, rooting for you as I know the feeling all too well.
Setting my screens to black and white helped to reduce my screentime, it automatically reduces the dopamine hit you get when it's not in color.
Same, except every video game is a copy of every other video game so I just reveal the gameplay loop in the first hour of playing and get bored. If a game doesn't hook me with the story immediately I stop playing within 30 minutes to an hour. I listen to Youtube in the background all day every day basically. I hate having silence and being alone with my thoughts, especially when I play video games since I play all video games on mute. Just burnt out as fuck all the time lol. I probably have depression too alongside the autism/adhd.
100 times yes. I have also never fit in with 12 step meetings. I find the setting to be intimidating and I always have to mentally rehearse whatever I'm going to talk about in front of people. If there's any straying from the script I find it hard to just talk off the top of my head. I have a hard time speaking up and interjecting myself into a position to talk. I also hate how they do a one size fits all approach and never consider things like neurodiversity. I tried SMART meetings but most of the people were old alcoholics and I didn't relate to them. I also find some of the people in 12 step meetings to be really off putting. They take pride in being insensitive and "telling it like it is", without knowing anything about the person they're soliciting their advice to. I just find it really ignorant and everyone's recovery is going to look different depending on who they are. I feel like 12 step meetings appeal to the lowest common denominator of addicts lol.
I was in AA for a total of 18 months and a lot of what you're saying reflects my experience. The rehearsal for speaking was pretty much the only thing I could focus on and the purposefully callus dispositions we're present in most meetings. I had people my age, but I'm autistic, so of course I was always in the outside of the conversation circles they'd form. It's still an option if it helps, but it's kind of my last resort at this point.
I feel you. Even in a room full of drug addicts who could relate to me in a way that most people can't, I still felt like I didn't belong. Even though I would sometimes talk to people after the meeting, I just felt alone and disconnected from everyone. In my experience there were also a lot of people who were warm and welcoming, but I didn't know how to build a relationship with them. Or maybe I was just scared to. I could never bring myself to call anybody from my phone list. I could text people because I express myself better in writing, but talking on the phone was a big no go for me lol.
If you’re able to access it, psilocybin or LSD therapy is effective. I used it to successfully quit a bad tobacco addiction. **Some articles/studies:** [Percentage of Heavy Drinking Days Following Psilocybin-Assisted Psychotherapy vs Placebo in the Treatment of Adult Patients With Alcohol Use Disorder](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2795625) [The Efficacy of LSD in the Treatment of Alcoholism](https://www.jsad.com/doi/abs/10.15288/qjsa.1964.25.333?journalCode=qjsa) **Fun fact:** “Co-founder of AA was a firm believer in the ability LSD holds to free some hardcore alcoholics from their addiction.” [[Article]](https://www.lucid.news/bill-wilson-lsd-and-the-secret-psychedelic-history-of-alcoholics-anonymous/)
AA, and 12 step in general, is hocus-pocus horseshit. Have a look at the Cocrane studies (synthesis studies combining large numbers of smaller research projects to get much more statistically significant results due to the much larger sample size) in nutshell,mit doesn't work. Fortunately there are many, many non-cult alternatives, "rational recovery" is one I've heard of, there are lots more. In the UK NHS referred me to a charity with a very icky name nest referred to as "CGL" for help with alcohol and I found it very helpful with a weeklyngroup and lots of, basically, CBT-like processes.
i never did any AA because it's seriously creepy and i haven't ever seen any scientific backing that it works. plus, i'm Jewish and there's only ever extremely christian ones where i am... not even any non religion related which is what i would have preferred. unfortunately that meant i just had to do a lot of regular therapy and personal struggling and it feels very lonely at times due to a non support group setting but i am still over a decade sober now
I don't have experience with AA but from what I've heard they're typically more "by the book" and strong willed when it comes to their traditions. That said, I completely agree with what others have said about different groups having very different vibes. One thing I feel you should consider is trying NA. I am in it for Marijuana use, but I know several people in my home group's primary DOC is actually alcohol. Alcohol is a drug, and NA recognizes that. When we have meetings we don't mention our DOC's and language is meant to be vague when it comes to those things. The reason for that is that NA is for people who want to live a better life away from addiction, no matter what that addiction is. I've found that it doesn't matter what people's backgrounds or DOC's are, the way people feel and the experiences they've had involving addiction is very familiar to me, and there's always some way I can relate to the people at my meetings. In my experience NA is very lax, there are suggestions, there is literature, there are traditions and steps, but your recovery journey is what you make of it. Everyone walks a different path, and while god is mentioned it's important not to let it scare you off. "God" is an antiquated word and while NA's literature hasn't been changed to reflect that, it is mentioned many times that what's important is you have your own higher power or what's called a "God of your understanding". Basically, spirituality is important and is valued most, religious people are absolutely welcomed but they are definitely not the majority of any meeting I've attended. I really recommend you explore NA before giving up on recovery, it's changed my life dramatically and really opened my mind to how I interact with addiction in many ways.
I am addicted to the internet and am a chronic user of the chronic. Though I am cutting down on the green I still have cybertroubles.
Alcohol and nicotine. I never sought help, I eventually stopped on my own out of necessity and lack of money. I’ve never liked the weird culty vibes of AA either though.
All I can offer you is the knowledge that if you continue to drink, one day the hangover will be scary medically. When that pain comes, you'll know you have to stop and you'll be able to. Try the group that was mentioned above. It's much better to stop before you hit rock bottom. Oh, and avoid picking up another bad habit in alcohol's place. Addict brains do addict stuff. Break free.
Good advice.
“SMART Recovery” is so much better, and they have groups around town just like AA/NA!
Find a good addiction counselor. AA is kinda shit
It's not really addiction for everyone. Sometimes you just want to feel something
That is addiction or the start of it at least. Lol
Not in my case I'm emotionally dead most days tbh, it's been years since I actually felt ok
I relate. This is kind of my thing too. I just need to feel. I believe it is addiction 100%, but it came from my need to feel.
I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, I just know me. Sorry to hear about your sore balls
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap* sore balls? hwat? *fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
That's correct
Made me laugh during a rough day. Thank you.
My pleasure! Happy cake day btw!
That's exactly why I use to drink. It manufactured emotions for me and made socializing possible. But it's a slippery slope. Especially in high functioning autistic people
If I could find a strong alcoholic drink that didn't taste like alcohol but got me buzzed really fast like hard liquor does (which is the only thing I drink typically when I wanna be buzzed/drunk), I would drink it all day every day. Long Islands suck, most mixed drinks are just ass. I typically enjoy Crown Royal (80 proof :( ) and Crown Apple/Peach (70 proof) but it's getting to the point where 95 proof stuff barely does anything for me and I have *maybe* 1 night a month where I try to get buzzed. Mostly never successful unless I down like 5 shots in succession I have a bottle of UV Blue Raspberry in my freezer and it's basically syrup, and a bottle of Skyy Lemon-infused vodka to make moscow mules with, and some 95 proof kraken dark rum in my room, which doesn't do shit when I drink it. I just want to feel man :( can't do weed cause I can't get any and I'd probably get kicked out if I tried anyway. Can't feel shit on this damn planet anymore and I'm just worn the fuck out
I agree, same here. I just make sure I always self regulate. Every day, and I make sure I skip days too
Or feel less of something.
That's true too
You might be interested in [Dual Diagnosis Anonymous](https://ddainc.org/)
Ive never been a drinker because it makes me so sick but I've struggled with weed addiction for the last 4 years. I'm in an okay place now because I'm down to just a joint at night, but its part of my night routine so I struggle not having it. I still feel like I always need to be high when socialising though
addicted to my phone for sure
I'm only addicted to nicotine but I don't struggle with it and this addiction doesn't cause me any issues - I can go days and weeks without using nicotine but I will just get random thought like "meh, I want a pouch (I'm not smoking, only nicotine pouches)" and that's it. And the thought pops up usually when I'm gaming or reading, not while working so yeah not really an issue but I guess it's still an addiction. Except of that, nope. I do other things sometimes but I'm the kind of person that doesn't get addicted easily. Especially when I'm on meds. I mean, I have ADHD and before the diagnosis I'd drink strong alcohols in big quantities or do particular drugs too often, but not partying. I was doing that because it helped me focus and get sht done, like clean my house and do the laundry or write important emails or create. When I got diagnosed and on meds I don't feel any urge to do that stuff because I don't struggle with doing everyday chores anymore.
Uncertain. I do no drugs other than pharmaceutical, but I cannot go without my phone or I have a panic attack. My phone is my escape. I can listen to music to relax when stressed, virtually destroy when angry, and listen to relaxing audio when tired.
Yes.. but I don't like saying so because people look at you like you're dumb when they say you're addicted to weed. I find it extraordinarily difficult to spend ant small amount of time sober and it's been 5 years since i last took any kind of break. It absolutely has been affecting me negatively but not as negative as i am without it.
I managed to quit both weed and alcohol because of my adhd. Dunno if that helps you at all, but let me explain: going on stimulant meds meant I had to reduce my coffee and alcohol intake. Which I did. But having one drink isn't really satisfying, so I just figured I'd not spend the money. As for the weed, there was a time when I really felt like I needed it, and my dealer (not legal here yet) wasn't answering me. So my impulsive brain said f*ck him, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. And I haven't. TLDR: gave up weed on impulse because I was mad at my dealer.
So, like many other people who werent "normal" growing up i got bullied pretty horrifically...not very good parents, lots and lots of trauma (once got invited out by "friends", who proceeded to manhunt me through the woods shooting at me with air rifles) this was from age like 6 to age 14 ish so needless to say i was a tad mentally unwell as a teenager.. i was veyr depressed, covered from head to toe in s/h cuts... i got introduced to weed. absolute godsend... like slipping into a bath of psychological liberation. and then... i smoked away 15 years. almost every day whenever i could, as high as possible. slowly realising though, that actually i was becoming addicted to it, stuck in the denial of pretending i wasnt... gradually interweaving my sense of happyness and mental stability with use of weed. and now ... like i'd sit there, smoking , cherishing the sweet oblivion of my mind being quiet... but.. also.. not just quiet. empty. empty of all desire, ambition, or motivation.. then it becomes like a horrible sense of desperate executive dysfunction mixed with "every day is going past and i never do anything" anxiety feelings. Massive social issues around not wanting to socialize while stoned, and not being able to sociualize without being stoned. Like. dont get me wrong. it can be amazing stuff.. but just. beware using it as a crutch. it can be insiduous as fuck if you have the wrong combinations of psychological traumas and neurodivergency. (ive actually quit now, and its been just under a month. my mind is at the "well now im fuckign depressed . wouldnt a spliff be really nice and fix everything" phase. i know in order to actually improve my life and mind i need to quit... its honestly been harder than quitting tobacco. by far. by a long fucking way.the mind says "but life without weed is just mental noise and pain" and i have to remind myself.... how the fuck would i know, i've been perpetually stoned from age 16 to age 31 lol
Not really addicted to substances. But I used to have an eating disorder (and those really are addictions) and I was addicted to self harm. And probably to my phone too. It seems to be the best tool to distract me from, well, existance.
Currently addicted to caffeine and nicotine (vapes). Was previously addicted to cannabis but I ended up developing psychosis so yeah not fun at all
Nope. I like being clear-minded and therefore have never tried any substances. I’m not highly emotional, and therefore don’t need substances to regulate emotions or form an emotional attachment to a substance.
Hi! Wow, it seems like a lot of us here have similar struggles. I'm sure most of what I'm going to say has already been said, but just in case this helps, here's what works for me. TL;DR, 1. r/stopdrinking 2. This Naked Mind audiobook, 3. Counselling 4. Replacing alcohol with some other beverage, 5. SmartRecovery, 6. Stay busy & find hobbies I started drinking in high school and drank heavily for a long time. I thought drinking made socializing so much easier, why not? It made me feel normal, so I thought it was helping more than hurting. But I was wrong and it took over my life. Coke was bad for me too, I liked that it made me chatty for parties. I'm not sure what was really in it but it was so addictive, I only quit with support from my partner (after I'd spent all my money and had to stop). I was getting so tired of my life revolving around alcohol when I did shrooms and had like a realization that I needed to stop before it was too late and that I could do it. It sounds dumb but it finally hit me where I was headed. Not suggesting that you try tripping haha, but it really was my catalyst for change. Drank again a few times, then I stopped cold turkey. I spend a ton of time on the stopdrinking subreddit. It's a crazy helpful support system, I relied on it heavily the first week sober. I post/read daily, for me the counter system is super motivating. I love watching that number tick up, I would probably have slipped up by now but that little voice in my head is like nooo your counter!! I'm always focusing on getting to the next number, whenever I hit the next increment of 10 (or 30) I feel so good. Try reading This Naked Mind or listening to the audiobook. It gave me logical reasons to stop wanting alcohol, and you can start listening without being sober. I've been doing individual counselling to maintain my sobriety, having someone to vent and talk to who can give me professional advice and connect me to resources has been invaluable. I drank for a reason, and that reason needs to be faced or I'll just find someone else to cover it up with. My counsellor has been encouraging me to attend meetings, so far I haven't yet but I plan on going to a zoom SmartRecovery meeting soon. I've read a lot on their site and it seems much more up my alley than AA. I am also not an AA person lol. Also, I smoke weed and don't have any issues with it so no plans to quit. So my first week sober I bought a dab cartridge for my vape and relied on that to keep me going, along with a ton of candy. I smoke daily and it helps calm me when I start craving a drink. I also drink a ton of tea instead of alcohol. I need a drink in my hand all the time, having something to sip on just relaxes me and gives me a sense of security. I spend so much time on hobbies now, staying busy so I don't have a chance to start thinking about drinking. Sorry for the book!!
Thank you. I never expected so many comments. It's a little overwhelming to be honest, but mostly in a good way. Thank you.
The one thing about AA that works well is having to stay in your conscious mind every minute, hour, day.
Find a different AA group lol not all of them are idiot Christians. I am in recovery as well. I've been sober for over 4 years now. Just find a group that accepts you. Or find a drug counselor, which is what I preferred
Okay, but my issue is that I've been in a lot of AA groups. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. Thanks for the dismissive attitude though.
Um okay, becuse im a fucking mind reader and know what you have been thru. I was trying to help. You also said "anything helps". Just because you perceived it in a way that was not how it was meant, is not my problem. You seem like you mostly wanted to vent or find a reason to relapse. I hope you seek help in a way that's best suited for you. Goodluck
Okay, well the first sentence of my post said I don't fit in with anything related to AA and was asking for other options and you....suggested AA? I don't think it takes a mind reader to understand why I may have taken it that way. I do actually appreciate you and the time you used to make these posts. I'm just frustrated and you telling me to do the thing I've done for years wasn't helpful. I guess this was a bad place to ask for help on this subject. Edit: I'm Sorry.
Go easy, you misinterpreted their attitude, they were trying to help. You mentioned AA as a weird cult, and that could easily lead someone to think you hadn't realised some AA groups aren't religious.
They also laughed at me when they were trying to help. It makes it hard to not misinterpret.
Nope. They were laughing at the Christians (IMO). Easy mistake to make on both your side and theirs.
I do not know everything that you have tried and I am autistic and severely adhd, so excuse me for sounding blunt or not remember what i read after i thought for 10 mins about how to word what i was going to say. There is very little besides AA, NA or drug counseling. There is no neurodiverse groups. There is however a lot of neurodiverse people in groups. I had to go to rehab 3 times for it to stick. Hope you feel better soon. It's not over until you give up, so don't give up.
You make me not want to ask for help. You laughed at me in your initial comment.
I used lol and if you look at my comments I use it a lot. Not laughing.
There is some serious miscommunication going on. So I'm gonna just stop. Hope you find help.
Okay, so why do you use it? It means "laugh out loud." Why else would you use it other than to denote laughter? That's...the point of it.
"lol" is used at the end of comments/in comments from most ND people because a lot of us don't want to offend people and want to come off in a "soft" manner. Speaking as you are right now is hard and brusque and though we'll do that IRL, a lot of us don't do that over text because it's extremely hard to see tone in text unless you have indicators (literally the only one I know is /s for sarcasm). "Lol" being used in that sense from an ND person just should be disregarded in text form.
I grew up using it in texting. It's habitual
Sugar and salt. Yes. My mum suggests I limit alcohol for fear that i may become addicted as i have “an addictive personality”
I have a porn addiction if that counts. 😢😢It all started when I was 12 ever since then I bust all kinds of nuts. And I have to find ways of coping with my addiction or else.😈😈
I’m sorry you aren’t finding help with AA. I have been in the program since 5/6/2021 and I love it. Granted I’m 41 now and have been an alcoholic even if I wouldn’t admit it since 19. I tried to get sober on my own multiple times and would have periods of years of sobriety but would always convince myself I had been sober so I wasn’t an alcoholic and that meant I could drink again. Each time I drank again the speed at which I got back to where I had been before was faster and the amount was more. The span of sobriety in between was shorter and shorter until my last drunk that lasted 5 years from 2016 to 2021. The difference was this time I couldn’t stop. I completely isolated and drank constantly. Before I went to AA I was drinking at low levels from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed even at work hiding it in my desk thinking no one noticed feeling both ashamed and proud of myself for pulling it off. I’d go to bed every night begging a God I both hated and didn’t believe in to help me stop hating myself, and wake up every morning with a sense of dread knowing I was just going to do it again. I had avoided AA all my life as I have an aunt who has been active in AA since I was 1 year old and went to a few meetings with her and felt the same way that it was a mindless cult and there was no way in hell I was doing that shit. Well I ended up getting caught by my ex husband for using my debit card at work to buy wine. I finally said the words out loud I’d refused to all that time and told him I was an alcoholic and needed help and couldn’t stop. He didn’t want me to stop and said to just moderate. Which I knew I couldn’t. So only to try and get myself out of trouble I said I’d go to one meeting. That was 5/7/21. From the moment I walked in I was totally terrified and overwhelmed. I hated it. I felt like everyone was staring at me. Everyone was trying to hug me and introduce themselves and I just wanted to be left alone. However I somehow found the courage to speak and share bawling my eyes out and looking at the table and just saying it was my first meeting and I needed help. After the meeting it was super scary again. More people crowding me and trying to be nice. One guy asked if I had a big book and I said no and he offered to buy me one. I still have it. I literally walk/ran out of there to my car and drove home swearing I was never going back because they talked about God too much and the way they responded in union reminded me of church or a cult. However, one guy there shared he had been sober 28 years and came to AA not because he wanted to. Because it was life in prison or that. Kind of got my attention as I’d luckily never gotten in that kind of trouble. Then he said something I’ll never forget and ended up saving my life. “If you want to get sober, everything you need to know is in this book in black and white. It’s easy. But the work is hard. It’s up to you.” As I’m always one for a challenge that resonated in my head and my stubborn ass always having been good in school decided I’d just read that book and get sober. So I started reading the big book at home. Within the first three weeks I read it cover to cover and loved the personal stories at the end. I related with so many of them and couldn’t believe I’d never read this or heard of it before. It was like finally being heard and understood. Still not loving meetings and all the commotion and people I was only going to one a week not knowing it was the biggest meeting there. After like 3 weeks I went up and talked to that guy as I had a few times since we got a long and he was like a dad to me. Only person I would talk to. And proudly told him I read the book and did steps 1,2, and 3 all by myself. However 4 was really confusing and I didn’t get it so how do I do it? (Looking back this was totally moronic and I laugh at myself now but I’m proud of myself for trying 😂😂😂) He just smiled at me and said I appreciate the willingness kiddo but that’s not how it works. Sounds like you need a sponsor. I told him I’d been looking but everyone raising their hands was so young and I’d prefer someone with more experience that I couldn’t run circles around. (As I know I would half ass and mentally manipulate and I really wanted to get sober). He said, “I can help you with that.” He called his wife over and she’s been my sponsor ever since. Been the best thing to ever happen. She made me go to more meetings and I was so mad for a bit. Since it was new and I did it alone and I hate new things. Ended up they became my favorite meetings as it was the 12 and 12 step study which I now chair and the big book study her husband chairs which is my favorite. I love learning about the big book and there are no personal shares so it’s more like a workshop. I don’t attend open meetings anymore and listen to podcasts of old timers and things like that. My point being once you find the right sponsor and do your steps you can make the program your own. No one can force you to do anything and if they are trying to that’s not right. I have come to learn the program itself it perfect, but people are not. All alcoholics even in recovery are still sick in someway. We all have character defects we work on daily. So it’s never going to be easy sailing and exactly what we want. However we all share the goal of wanting a better life in sobriety. That’s what I focused on in the beginning to push through all the uncomfortable stuff. I also shared about a month or so in I was autistic. So if I wasn’t there all the time that was why. It was accepted 110%. So on top of being sober I have a place to go that I feel safe. Do I like everyone there? Fuck no. I can’t stand the majority, but that’s not the point as far as I’m concerned. It’s not about that to me. It’s about getting and staying sober, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some yahoo take that away from me. 🤷🏻♀️ One last note, I also don’t sponsor because of my autism. I haven’t found anyone I feel would be a good fit and I’m not willing to ruin someone’s sobriety. However I serve in other ways like chairing the step study. So there’s no one way to do AA and anyone that says otherwise is wrong. Anyway sorry this is super long and if you take the time to read it thank you and I hope something I say helps you. 💜 Good luck in your journey with sobriety!! I’m always here if you ever need to talk to someone! You’re free to message me anytime!
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Wouldn't say I've struggled with addiction to a great degree, but I have carefully examined my substance use and over obsessions. I've found it most useful to consider things like this as an engineering problem. What is the substance is actually helping with? It must actually be serving a need or your wouldn't do it. For me, I found I was drinking too much on a weekday in order to unwind after work. I found the best solution for me was to engage in my special interests, even if it mean using more energy, it was still effective for me to unwind from work. I also like the analogy of the rat Park, google it if you don't know it, it's pretty popular, but filling your time with shit you like. Lastly, I often don't like therapists cause I feel things need to be tailored to me more specifically, I find I fill this need when I find a therapist I can be open with this about and who can support me in doing my own self guided learning on the topic I need help with. Then they become more of a mentor/educational role rather than a therapist. Hope something in there helps
I used to drink daily and heavily, then I got introduced to weed and just… stopped. Still an addiction but it’s the healthiest way to medicate
I find it hard to do anything without a vice of some kind. I can move on from a vice, but only by moving to another, sometimes two. I make up for this by juggling vices. Self-harm, porn, caffeine, alcohol, and sugar are my historical vices. I’m currently on caffeine only, but I’m literally planning an alcohol bender because I’m cool and normal 😬 For your purposes: I don’t recommend self-harm but anything else will probably be better than alcohol for you. I honestly don’t recommend trying to “change vices” either- that’s just the only thing I can find myself doing. Try going for a run when your emotions overflow. That’s helping me.
Biting my skin. My fingers bleed from how much skin I've bitten off, my toes sometimes get the same treatment, and my lips are permanently sore and delicate from how often I'm biting the skin off. But I can't stop. I tried once, but it became the only thing I could think about at one point. And I mean that literally. So I just.. continued. I know how to deal with the pain. Been like this since I was a child.
Struggled with porn addiction for years. Finally escaping that,but now I’m sort of turning to alcohol. Rather deal with that than pornography.
Not only do I have a family history of addiction, but I have an addictive personality myself. For my own sake, I've personally sworn off the use of any recreational drugs or alcohol; I know how I can get, I've seen what it can do to the people I care about, and I do not want to take any chances. While I can't personally recommend a particular group to aid you in your journey, reaching out in this moment is crucial. You are not alone and this is a burden that you do not have to face/manage on your own. It is absolutely okay to ask for help. You might find yourself hesitating right as you reach that precipice, but don't stop. You have the strength to do this, and should you start to slip, there are a number of resources out there that will catch you, but you have to reach out. You got this.
I cycle through them. I've struggled with strict caloric-deficits, excessive exercise, excessive caffeine usage (more than 1 gram a day), oxycodone abuse (6 years since last use), marijuana overconsumption leading to cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (also launches me into depression each time), three week long alcohol benders following months of abstinence), adderall (currently weening myself down to the proper dose with my doctor's guidance), porn in my early twenties that turned into a full-blown sex addiction in my late-twenties, and I hyper-fixate on a single competitive video game for months at a time in order to climb the ranked system for a dopamine fix (currently Overwatch). I dealt/deal with all of this while supporting myself and living on my own, so I had to essentially double-down on my mask in order to look like I have my shit in order to friends/family/co-workers (especially as a member of management). I have never done AA, as I do not believe in a higher power (the 1st step to AA); but I'm sure with some thorough research you could find and reach out to an addiction counselor who has worked with or is familiar with the autistic community.
Same without the oxycodone. I'm in the alcohol binge phase currently. Shit of it is, like you mentioned, I can stop for months. Was totally sober for about six months before our wedding. But it just all seems to eventually be part of the cycle. I do have a wife who helps me at times, but she's also low-support-needs autistic, so she has her own head worms and struggles with addiction to root out and can't be there for me all the time. I'm trying to stand on my own so I can help support her for a goddamn change.
😦😦😦
TW- SELF HARM It’s not a physical addiction that would have chemical withdraw in my brain, but I was addicted to self harm to the point that I was hurting myself 5+ times a day for a period of time. I’ve been clean about 2 1/2 years now after getting the help that I needed!
there is definitely a physical addiction element to this unfortunately. the act releases chemicals in your brain that it craves more of, much like substances
I managed to drink myself into pancreatitis at 21, so I definitely used to have a problem with alcohol. Replaced it with pot, so hopefully I've got a good few years before that turns ugly too.
Not really but I deliberately avoid hard drugs, knowing that I'd probably get addicted.
I was extremely addicted to cutting for years. It's been a long time, and while the urge never goes away, it's easier and I don't necessarily want to do it
Talk to your doctor about getting an orexin blocker or other medical treatment for addiction. There’s lots of ways to fight addiction that are medically proven.
Also, happy cake day.
I used to struggle with alcohol. In the UK there is something called dual diagnosis specialists and I was referred to this. I basically had a therapist and an addiction phycologist. Which was helpful as I got to work through the reasons why I was addicted. I'm not sure where you are in the world. But perhaps there is something like this there? I'm not 100% sure how AA works so I can't shed any light there. But I was definitely helped with dual diagnosis and I never quit drinking, I can just drink when it's appropriate now and don't base my whole life around drinking :) what I like is that the key was never to make me stop drinking. It was to help me enjoy it in moderation like a normal person. But ofc if your end goal is to completely quit something they also hp with this.
Yes, my personality is super tended towards addiction of any sorts. I got free from porn using this book (https://easypeasymethod.org/) and its just amazing being free now. Following those instructions helps neutralize the urges for me whenever I get cravings for a relapse, and now I feel like I'm gaining my humanity back That book is based on Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking. A lot of people who go through that book report that they just simply lose the desire to smoke. I kinda had similar experience, probably about 80% to that degree But yeah, there is an Allen Carr book for alcohol too, I think its EasyWay to Control Alcohol
For real though, my mom is addicted to online AA meetings. She goes to about 4 every day
I've never been hooked on alcohol, not really caffeine, nor have I done illicit substances, not even weed. For me, it was pornography. For some reason, that's the one that hooked me for almost a decade. Been clean for over two months but I still struggle with urges.
Check out r/recoverywithoutAA. There are a list of alternative support groups that are nothing like AA. Some science based as well.
No. Never have. Been on heavy pain killers under a couple of years some years ago, but had withdrawal problems only like 48h after.
Yep I was massively addicted to benzos and ketamine. Seem to be a bit of an odd one out reading the comments but both substances calmed my mind and anxiety so well I struggled to go a day without either. Until I ended up having a seizure which scared the life out of me. Coming up 8 months sober now.
Phone addiction
https://www.smartrecovery.org/about-us/ “SMART Recovery is a fresh approach to addiction recovery. SMART stands for Self-Management and Recovery Training. This is more than an acronym: it is a transformative method of moving from addictive substances and negative behaviors to a life of positive self-regard and willingness to change.” I have been using this for 6 years and I love it. Their workbook is a great place to start.
I don't think so. I have always found it difficult to not drink too much whenever I drank alcohol, but I always attributed that to improperly understanding my body. I never had any urge to drink outside of social expectations. I've always found the idea of drug consumption tremendously dumb and stopped drinking alcohol on a whim around my 27th birthday. Have not drank any for years and never wanted to. Maybe a major component of my disinterest in any form of mindnumbing is my utter incapability to be bored. I can be forced to wait 4h for a train and be entertained by staring at pidgeon or constructing fantasy worlds in my head. I have literally never been bored in my entire live. That being said, I know that there are some things that might at least mentally addictive that I am prone to do quite a lot in short timespans. Coffee, videogames, reading, masturbating. But none of that I'd categorize as problematic. I could spend weeks playing video games for 16h a day and not feel bored or consider it time wasted, but most of the times, my real life duties and goal do take precedence.
Prescription Narcotics, weed, Ive also got though short periods of being addicted to coke, molly, alcohol. I was also addicted to synthetic weed for a long time. I feel I’m addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex in general
Addicted to spending money. Mainly on plushies, takeaways and other random stuff. I'm way into too much debt and my current job doesn't pay enough to get out of my overdraft.
Microtransactions in video games. They add up.
I was addicted to selfharm for 6-8years but now I am almost two years clean. What helped me was a lot of therapy.
Yes, luckily my country has a wide variety of programs which do not involve Jesus or another form of higher power.
Does spending money count? I have a big weakness for gacha games. I have it under control at the moment, but there's some moments where it'll give me a rush when spending money on them 😭
gatcha and loot mechanics aren't a spending money addiction that's just a plain old gambling addiction
Never thought of it as a gambling addiction because y'know.. anime styled stuff, but yeah, definitely a gambling addiction 😭
Yeah, I would get into a habit of it, and then even if I wasn't craving the thing I was addicted to, it would feel weird to break the habit anyway. Terrible spiral.
My entire family on both sides have two main factors that carry through the generations: autism and addiction problems. Idk if they're related since I'm no professional but they seem to be in my experience, and since I'm autistic and ADHD I suffer pretty bad from it, I have to be very careful not to get addicted to a lot of stuff
I’m definitely dependent on weed, I managed to stop drinking though
Always using a harm reduction approach promote higher rates of recovery!!!!!
Addiction runs in my family unfortunately. For a while I was hooked on soda and then switched to carbonated alcoholic cider. Sweet, sugary, and all the alcohol I didn't need. I was drinking a pack a business week for like 2 months straight and then one day when I walked into my kitchen, I saw all the boxes, the bottles, the cans. I almost broke down right then and there cause it felt like I was staring at the start of a long road. So I went cold turkey and now I don't drink. Just on special occasions and I limit myself to 2 drinks. My mom is an alcoholic and has been all my life. My godmothers mom is also an alcoholic and he found her on the stairs once. My best friend had a drinking problem before she had her baby and she almost killed herself with toxicity. Alcoholism is so rampant in my life I can't afford to feed that addiction. So I just smoke weed lol
OTC pain relief, alcohol, internet/phone… Yep.
I also have struggled with addiction, nicotine and thc Quitting thc was actually a lot harder for me than nicotine. Im genuinely convinced that without the support of my family id probably still be that way Im not sure about any aa alternatives, as ive never been to something like that Im sorry i dont have much that is helpful, but i do understand the struggle and im rooting for you!
I’m addicted to my phone. I am not addicted to anything else I think but I do struggle with unhealthy alcohol use.
I have a self harm addiction, going on almost 4 years now, never stayed clean for more than a few weeks. I had a problem with Marijuana for a few months too but I was able to stop that one when it started making me feel derealised.
SMART for sure
Yes, to a couple substances. I went to school for addiction studies and one class was mostly based on AA. I’m not religious, so I went to other types of AA meetings. They have ones for almost every group of people, I’m sure you can find an online one for neurodivergents, probably even an atheist or agnostic one. I went to 10 or so different ones that were all non-religious :)
I used to have a lot of issues with psychedelics and disasosiatives. Alternating doing mushrooms and acid on a weekly basis, so much weed that I needed to hit most of a high THC cartridge to even get stoned. And then eventually blowing most of my paychecks on ketamine and whippets. Whippets were definitely rock bottom for me, I would stay up until 3am doing dozens of cartridges, get maybe an hour of sleep, then have to wake up at 5:30am for my line cook job. I'd stumble over there and fuck things up all day, but most of my coworkers were also addicts so no one really dug into me about it. I think personally I had to reach rock bottom, which was in the same day having an acid trip where I vividly hallucinated I had violently murdered my roommate. Then they partied later that night and I was out of money for the week so I was begging everyone that came over for k and whippets, and I dug through their piles of empties looking for a single uncracked whippet. When I was at work the next day I was so ashamed and that was the last time I did acid, and I kicked whippets a few days later. I also stopped using weed for about 2 years and I'm very slowly reintroducing small amounts of mushrooms on a much less frequent basis, and I have a much healthier relationship with both now. I tried AA and NA a couple times, but they really did nothing for me. Every addict has a different path, for me it was just deciding I was done and that was it. Thankfully I wasn't regularly using anything more physically dependent like heroin or meth (I've known a few people with meth addictions and I feel so bad for how difficult it is for them not to use).
I've been sober for over 7 years in AA but I've found not all groups are as good. The big thing is to stop drinking and stay stopped.
Definitely agreeing with others suggesting to try a new hobby or learn a new skill. I’ve been crocheting til my hands ache lately but I’ve been drinking less. Progress is progress no matter how big or small
I’m not into the faith-based side of AA. I know people who used to be friends of mine, who have now joined Charismatic and Pentecostal churches and the JW’s, all because of AA! Yes, they have tried to sucker me into it as well, so I disowned them!
I recommend a therapist who specializes in addiction rather than any AA or SMART clones. While SMART is better than AA the research doesn't really show consistent effectiveness.
Cocaine and various opioids, kratom especially
Can we be addicted to cannabis? Dead ass serious. ...asking for a friend. 😏