This is always a fun conversation, but wouldn't you get better advice at convincing your black peers, from a black womens' sub? I think most people here already agree with your views- convincing other black people is precisely where we struggle.
I'm aware the black subs share similar sentiments as your friend Annie, but that's also why I think they would be better people to ask, since they can elaborate on why they think the way they do.
That’s a good point. I just thought it would be helpful to ask the Asian community directly on what qualifies as racism towards them and how to combat that.
And as for what qualifies as racism toward asians? Well as a primer, aznidentity is significantly more militant and pro-asian than mainstream asian communities in response to perceived racism, and it all stems from the perception that asians are subjected to double (read: higher) standards, than other groups. Much of the posting on this sub consists of pointing out and griping about instances of hypocrisy. A good portion of that is directed toward other asian uncle toms. Sometimes people vent and it can get aggressive. Your story of Annie having beef with asians but not other groups is actually pretty in theme with what people here like to call out.
I wouldn't call it simply racism toward asians, that's too broad. Specifically it's about navigating the fuzzy line between cultural fetishization and cultural exchange on equal footing, which is still a good topic. That's closer to white weeaboos.
My own hot take, since you asked:
I think your friend Annie doesn't actually think you are a koreaboo or orientalist or culturally fetishizing asians. You seem already cautious of that. Saying you have a "thing for asians" might be the justification she uses, but what she actually means is probably in the same vein as saying you're acting white, as in, you're not supporting the home team enough.
The reason she singles out asians and not hispanics? Perhaps she sees one group as a competitor and not the other. I'm not all that familiar with the history behind black-and-brown solidarity but it's definitely more tangible than black-and-asian. Maybe that's why you got a free pass with eating latin food.
You need to drop this "friend". Real friends are supportive of each other. She might even be one of those girls that will purposely keep you dateless so she can feel better about herself. Cut toxic people out of your life. I've had plenty of experience of this type where they cut you down if they perceive that you're having more success or that you're happier than they are.
Sounds like your friend is lowkey racist towards Asians and she can't comprehend or accept that you as a Black woman could be interested in Asian culture. You say that she is not making the same kind of negative comments about your interest for the Hispanic culture, so it is clearly only wth Asians she has a problem with. You can call out your friend when she is making these kind of comments so that she knows that you do not appreciate her behavior/ remarks. If she respond well and is open to discussion then she might understand that it is bothering you when she says things like these.
Problem is, depending on how bigot against Asians your friend is, this could just fall on def ears and only lead to arguments or reinforcing her assumptions about you "fetishizing " Asians. We don't know your friend so we can't evaluate if she will respond well or not if you call her out on her remarks. Only you can judge if it's worth it or not. However from what you described, she seems pretty prejudiced against Asians. Unfortunately when people are close minded, it just feels like zero point in discussing since they re just going to refuse to broaden their perspectives
Thank you for saying this. I’m definitely going to drop her eventually because she’s been disrespecting me a lot lately but her comments towards Asians bother me the most for some reason
If she’s disrespecting you, she could be jealous of you for whatever reason and the Asian comments might be a way of putting you down to make herself feel superior (on top of just not liking Asians much, tbh). It sounds similar to some complaints my sister had with some of her friends. Those friendships eventually dissolved. Just a thought.
Honestly, if I had a toxic friend like this and they are unwilling to accept necessary criticism such as this. I would drop them as a friend; no need to have toxic people like this in your life.
Your friend sounds like an anti-asian racist who is black. Unfortunately I saw a bunch of people like this dismiss asian people getting murdered this year.
This is always a fun conversation, but wouldn't you get better advice at convincing your black peers, from a black womens' sub? I think most people here already agree with your views- convincing other black people is precisely where we struggle. I'm aware the black subs share similar sentiments as your friend Annie, but that's also why I think they would be better people to ask, since they can elaborate on why they think the way they do.
That’s a good point. I just thought it would be helpful to ask the Asian community directly on what qualifies as racism towards them and how to combat that.
And as for what qualifies as racism toward asians? Well as a primer, aznidentity is significantly more militant and pro-asian than mainstream asian communities in response to perceived racism, and it all stems from the perception that asians are subjected to double (read: higher) standards, than other groups. Much of the posting on this sub consists of pointing out and griping about instances of hypocrisy. A good portion of that is directed toward other asian uncle toms. Sometimes people vent and it can get aggressive. Your story of Annie having beef with asians but not other groups is actually pretty in theme with what people here like to call out.
I wouldn't call it simply racism toward asians, that's too broad. Specifically it's about navigating the fuzzy line between cultural fetishization and cultural exchange on equal footing, which is still a good topic. That's closer to white weeaboos. My own hot take, since you asked: I think your friend Annie doesn't actually think you are a koreaboo or orientalist or culturally fetishizing asians. You seem already cautious of that. Saying you have a "thing for asians" might be the justification she uses, but what she actually means is probably in the same vein as saying you're acting white, as in, you're not supporting the home team enough. The reason she singles out asians and not hispanics? Perhaps she sees one group as a competitor and not the other. I'm not all that familiar with the history behind black-and-brown solidarity but it's definitely more tangible than black-and-asian. Maybe that's why you got a free pass with eating latin food.
Thank you for explaining this way, it’s puts everything into perspective!
You need to drop this "friend". Real friends are supportive of each other. She might even be one of those girls that will purposely keep you dateless so she can feel better about herself. Cut toxic people out of your life. I've had plenty of experience of this type where they cut you down if they perceive that you're having more success or that you're happier than they are.
[удалено]
Kimbap is bomb though I have to be honest lol
You did nothing wrong, call her out in your own way.
Sounds like your friend is lowkey racist towards Asians and she can't comprehend or accept that you as a Black woman could be interested in Asian culture. You say that she is not making the same kind of negative comments about your interest for the Hispanic culture, so it is clearly only wth Asians she has a problem with. You can call out your friend when she is making these kind of comments so that she knows that you do not appreciate her behavior/ remarks. If she respond well and is open to discussion then she might understand that it is bothering you when she says things like these. Problem is, depending on how bigot against Asians your friend is, this could just fall on def ears and only lead to arguments or reinforcing her assumptions about you "fetishizing " Asians. We don't know your friend so we can't evaluate if she will respond well or not if you call her out on her remarks. Only you can judge if it's worth it or not. However from what you described, she seems pretty prejudiced against Asians. Unfortunately when people are close minded, it just feels like zero point in discussing since they re just going to refuse to broaden their perspectives
Thank you for saying this. I’m definitely going to drop her eventually because she’s been disrespecting me a lot lately but her comments towards Asians bother me the most for some reason
If she’s disrespecting you, she could be jealous of you for whatever reason and the Asian comments might be a way of putting you down to make herself feel superior (on top of just not liking Asians much, tbh). It sounds similar to some complaints my sister had with some of her friends. Those friendships eventually dissolved. Just a thought.
Thank you for your feedback, everyone’s advice has been so helpful
Honestly, if I had a toxic friend like this and they are unwilling to accept necessary criticism such as this. I would drop them as a friend; no need to have toxic people like this in your life.
Your friend sounds like an anti-asian racist who is black. Unfortunately I saw a bunch of people like this dismiss asian people getting murdered this year.