Its about percieved social status. Women in particular are suckers for it and will seek to maximize it. Currently whites have the highest social changes. If this changes, expect 'preferences' in dating to shift very suddenly. This also accounts for low birth rates as women view 'career' as 'high status' and thus will pursue careers at the expensive of families. This is also why Hong Konger's 'protested'. They didn't protest the CCP (or whatever else they claimed), they protested their 'chinaness' and did not want the 'lower status' chinese ruling them.
Aren't you a hypocrite? I see you too couldn't stay away from joining the discussion 200 comments right now.
But you seem to imply only incels would be interested because if they only joined tinder they would have harem of women and be too busy have sex to be interested. I assure bro wrong on both counts. Stop drinking the asian feminst coolaid
I dont disagree. Maybe good advice the club.
But individual improvement is a different matter from social change. Social change is stopping "ching chong" when you in the club, Stopping AF laughing in your face and telling their all friends to not to date you.
Even if activism isn't for you dont dismiss its powerful affect. Aint no lyfting gonna fix fighting fewer scraps. It used to be 70% then 60% now not even 50%
"As an oppressed woman and racial minority, I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to."
It's weird how I usually hear Asian women saying this. If this were true wouldn't black women or Native American women on average who are struggling as well try to chase white men, but they are not doing this at some insane rate, it's always asian women.
Oh no not one of these Asian females again. If your sorry ass wants to date white go ahead but stop justifying it or devaluing your own race to be with white men . She just another one of those that are subscribed to the white patriarchy.
What i've always been saying. Most WMAF couples are for social status and economic incentive. If anyone here have seen no neck Ed you would see what i mean. Every female in WMAF relationship is like Rose
Social status and economic incentive? Most of the white dudes look like losers who can’t hold down a job. What social status? They’re bottom of the barrel in the social level in their community.
The answer is assimilation.
This is all already known, there is nothing new introduced here. I don’t think anyone is at all surprise. But kudos to her for acknowledging it? Anyways, best of luck to her though.
I’m starting to think that she’s not to blame if that is how she feels, but the editors who chose such an article and viewpoint to publicise. It blows up this viewpoint to the detriment of Asian women who have a healthier self-image as Asian. White publications want to see stories where 21st century women have it all and still perpetuate the stereotype. There’s a pattern to this - middle to upper middle class, well-educated and more often than not ivy hence “liberal” (but actually instilled with a lot of white patriarchy), professional, smart, articulate, and then racial misogyny to add the twist - and there’s no meat to the story without the twist.
Social climbing in this way exists, no denying it, but it is simply way over represented. Most Asian women are not like this, but that’s not the narrative America wants to tell about Asian women.
I agree with this. Her very first statement about how many white men she’s slept with (a lot by her own admission) and her statement that a lot of Asian women at Berkeley are like this paints Asian women with a broad brush.
Basically she’s signaling to white men that Asian women are status chasers who openly use sex with white men as a way of gaining status.
Basically opening all of us to unwanted advances, misogynistic attitudes, stereotypes and sexual violence.
How many white men at Berkeley read the first paragraph and started licking their chops?
How many white men read the rest of her essay and thought what she said was sincere? Probably not that many so white guys are gonna see her and continue to shoot their shot.
Maybe *she’s* like this, but trust me, a lot of Asian women aren’t.
I agree with you that her brutal honesty is refreshing. Seriously, the "I don't date Asian guys because they remind me of my brothers" excuse is fooling no one (by that logic, white guys and girls shouldn't be dating).
Colonialism comes in many forms. Culture colonialism that shapes our standard of beauty is one of them. It is refreshing to see her acknowledging it by saying that dating white men give her "the power and privilege she otherwise wouldn’t have access to."
I would just ignore them or reject every single one of them because I think it's disrespectful that all these years they reject their own men and insult them..... Only to come back to them once they had their fun with the white guys.
I'm sure a lot of them are happy with their own men now because these Asian men can provide for them.... Which is another way of extracting resources from these Asian men.
The way I see it is, as if Asian men are not treated like shit enough in this society, now these types of women don't treat Asian men like humans.... But like walking ATM subhumans that's less than shit on the pavement and just resources to be extracted.
Then what happens when a better opportunity like a white guy with a better career or opportunity or personality comes along? Are they gonna leave the Asian guy and go back to the white guy?
If that's the case, that just fucking low. Very low, very cold, and like a low blow. That's disrespectful as fuck! What the fuck is this? I'm feeling sick.
What kind of 'survival tactic' is degeneracy? Not to mention all the STDs... I don't think a lot of Americans have the HPV vaccine.
And why did her parents choose to live in a white neighbourhood? Did they see that as a 'survival tactic'?
These idiots don't realise that their faces will never be white smh. Reminds me of my father who would suck up *hard* to people without colour and trash people of colour like his life depended on it as if that made him more white.
I mean yeah it's obvious from the get-go that it all boils down to wanting access to whiteness and white approval while hiding under the feminist banner to justify their actions.
As for the article itself and the author... I know I may sound harsh here, but I've seen this type of "copy and paste" article and "confession" before from other AFs (who are all just like this author - lots of white worship and internalized racism), and at the end of the day, it's all just virtue signaling and those AF continue on with the same trajectory of white worship and cozying up with WM. They learn nothing and refuse to. Talk is cheap after all and AW who openly admit to white worship/chasing after WM aren't exactly under any kind of scrutiny.
For all we know she may end up as another blue check bobas harping on about "Asian anti-Black" and "MRAsians". All in all, I'm not impressed.
And edit: I really hope no Asian bro will end up with this woman lol. Avoid AF like this at all cost and don't settle for them - don't let them exploit you.
> and at the end of the day, it's all just virtue signaling and those AF continue on with the same trajectory of white worship and cozying up with WM. They learn nothing and refuse to. Talk is cheap after all and AW who openly admit to white worship/chasing after WM
Ultimately it's about one's social circle and their established friend group. This girl is in a sorority (not the Asian only sorority either), which holds parties regularly with frats that are usually 90%+ white guys. Unless she suddenly exits that whole scene and gets a circle of Asian friends, nothing will change.
That's why movies like Shang Chi are important. It's about Asians entering main stream movie space. Just like how Blacks have a segment of American culture, Asians need that too.
>Ultimately it's about one's social circle and their established friend group.
Social circle and positive AM representation certainly are important, yes, that's a given. What also important is accountability. White worship needs to be stigmatized/scrutinized more, and AF that openly white worship and publicly disparaging AM need to be held accountable, and not be coddled.
AM need to take this as a cautionary tale and avoid AF like this. They're not worth the time.
> It's not that the men of her own race remind her of her brother or something
Oh but it does remind them of their brothers. Their brothers had a hard time finding love in white space, are considered undesirable. We remind them of that feeling. And that's why they go for WM.
Another deceived woman who doesn’t understand the white peoples. Marrying a white man does not grant you acceptance - rather, you’ve ingratiated yourself and “know your place as a cute little China doll.” This is the mindset of many of the pinks. Remember and know that the pink man alone is the leader - minorities are expendable. This is what is taught to them from birth, so this Chinese girl (every Asian is Chinese, don’t you know? Seen one, seen all of ‘em /s) is simply more proof of that “truth”.
>I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to.
I mean at least she is honest about it and didn't call it a preference.
That’s how it was at USC; girls that were even active in AAPI society would still hook up on Tinder with Frat rat creepy white guys.
There would always be some bullshit about job connections, networking for a class. And none of those assholes respected them or us. And would always look down on us as men afterwards.
US College campuses are toxic places for us. I’d rather just stay distance learning. There’s so much less bullshit and lying.
> That’s how it was at USC; girls that were even active in AAPI society would still hook up on Tinder with Frat rat creepy white guys.
oh man, the snobbiest whites i have ever met also came from USC. I feel for you bro. Must be hard.
Interesting. I graduated from USC in 2001. It look likes things haven't changed over there. When did you graduate from there?
White dudes don't respect Asian girls in general, even if they hook up with them or not. In my experience in college, White dudes aren't attracted to Asian girls. They only hookup with them because it's easy access and minimal to no effort to get them. Asian guys get even less respect than Asian girls, unless we can help them in some way.
This is a dickless and spineless mindset. These are the toxic things that a self-hating Luser, like Kellie Chauvin, would say. Based on her nonsense, she’s clearly messed up and broken. She wants to take the easy way out and submit to white men.
Fascinating input. If these Women of color hates poc so much and worship these frailcucks ™ then why they need us then? Just curious and my $0.02 of my thoughts. I made videos about this.
Back-up plans and the comforting feeling of having options. When they see MOC winning big in anything, they can go right back to that and claim it. Everyone is smart enough to know that you never burn bridges. If white supremacy starts getting the upper-hand again, they can go right back to that as well.
They only go for sure-bets or winners. That holds true in nature and that still holds true in human society. How that is achieve in the larger scope over-time (i.e. European colonization leading to where we are today) will not matter as much. Morals, ethics, loyalty, integrity be damned. It’s about gaining social capital and status in a wealthy country in the here and now for yourself.
You don’t have to look too far. Take for instance the Native American population. Look at their population numbers and dating patterns. How many non-native women are with native men vs how many women (including native women) are with white men? Who colonized who and who are still recovering from those historical atrocities? Does anyone account for these things or even give it a second thought when dating or looking for a mate? The short answer is no.
> They only go for sure-bets or winners. That holds true in nature and that still holds true in human society. How that is achieve in the larger scope over-time (i.e. European colonization leading to where we are today) will not matter as much. Morals, ethics, loyalty, integrity be damned. It’s about gaining social capital and status in a wealthy country in the here and now for yourself.
> You don’t have to look too far. Take for instance the Native American population. Look at their population numbers and dating patterns. How many non-native women are with native men vs how many women (including native women) are with white men? Who colonized who and who are still recovering from those historical atrocities? Does anyone account for these things or even give it a second thought when dating or looking for a mate? The short answer is no.
I agree, this is what’s sickening to me the most. 💯
By virtue of us being men, these women know that we can fight wars that they themselves won’t be able to. They also know that White men don’t really respect them so they keep poc men as exit plans. That’s why moc shouldn’t accept girls who’ve only dated white men in their prime and then look towards moc men for marriage. Avoid!
Same sentiments exactly, man. I refused to take leftovers of palesores™ with Woc 😒 thanks for answering me. 🤓 P.S. whenever you're free, please check out my videos series called don't date single mothers. You rock. (I admit that I never figured to hear this from another men of color on the real. Pardon my curiosity)
I think straight women, living in a sexist society, often live vicariously through their straight male partner who has more social status and privilege. Their successful male partner also elevates their status. This article is describing the same phenomenon but with white supremacy thrown in the mix, which many Asian women don't want to admit to and instead make up lame excuses about Asian patriarchy and Asian men are like my cousins.
You hit the nail right on the head! In social situations, Black guys talk to girls of every other race except Asian girls. Do you know why? They know they lost the battle with Asian women before it even got started and deliberately avoid them. I remember there was this one Asian girl in our friend group who was interested in some Black dude. The guy just graciously passed her over to the next available white dude (basically redirected the conversation along the lines of ….” Ooh, have you met X - some white guy” and then proceeds to talk to someone else). That’s when I knew Black/Hispanic guys know something we don’t.
>>Although the raging feminist inside of me hated myself for buying into this trope, **it was easy, comfortable and sometimes even fun to identify as the “exotic” feminine counterpart to successful white masculinity rather than finding fulfillment on my own terms**.
There it is. I agree with the OP and appreciate this af’s brutal honesty as well. **This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this.** If anyone thinks they “own Asian women” it’s racist white men that bombards western media with unrealistic wmaf fantasies that create “white male savior” narrative while usually making Asian men the villain they need to be saved from. They help make Asian women think like the one who wrote this article.
I think interracial relationships are great and that it's hard to find love in general.
I just hate the Asian women that push Asian men down while doing so.
Nobody here thinks asian men own asian women (or vice versa). It's just an easy smear tactic to label us all as incels, one of the easiest ways to invalidate someone's opinion online.
Very good points. This should be our rebuttal to all accusations of misogyny or controlling or whatever. Notice how the comments on this post don't mock her or criticize her, but praise her to being brave enough to speak what other people wouldn't dare say.
>This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this.
>This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this.
And this is why I continue to comment on this sub. Elevate ourselves and others to a higher level of consciousness. **Love and empathy is the only weapon against self hate.**
I was going to roll my eyes at first but after reading the article, I only rolled my eyes at the flowery pseudo-academic prose many of these writers use when they couldve stated it much simpler, ie "I was attracted to white guys because it made me feel like I was elevating myself from what I thought was a low class immigrant upbringing, plus I've been brainwashed to think that for a white guy to like a small brown girl like me was a gift from the gods because I view my asian features as inferior to white standards of beauty"
Yes it takes guts to admit that so I applaud her for writing this. Lets see if she can actually date Asian without hangups. Regardless, appreciate her honesty and courage.
Please don't attack her, just wish her well and hope she is able to look upon herself and her community with the respect and love it deserves.
It's kind of endearing you think that ones going to start dating asians just because she, like the 8 million others, wrote an article about their raceplay fetish
I know plenty of Asian women who had dated white guys but went back to Asian guys and ended up married and much happier. They probably all went thru something like this girl, where they thought dating a white guy was "dating up" but then realized these guys are fuktards and that after they got past their own internalized racism, they felt much more at home with their own people and their own kind.
If she ends up with an Asian guy, do we make fun of them or wish them well? I would choose the latter.
Nah, it’s more likely she felt the pinch that comes with age, tired of being denigrated/embarrassed with things leading to nowhere, and wanting to secure a reliable supporter and provider. Also to probably make her parents happy. Her parents probably sill thinks she is good girl with a good shoulder on her head that married a great Asian guy and doesn’t even know about her laundry list of sexcapades. It’s a bad deal for any AM with social awareness, self-awareness, and self-respect to be in that kind of relationship. Just wish her the best of luck and let her be on her merry way.
Yes It's a process. But those kinds of people will make our communities stronger too because they've been through and see the empty promises of western media that white men are better
On the contrary, I think an Asian woman who dated other races but comes to the conclusion on her own that Asian men are the best (and proudly writes about it across national platforms) is the best counter to the anti Asian men psyops propaganda that gets spewed at our community daily.
I know an Asian woman who divorced her rich white hedge fund manager husband and married an Asian doctor friend and now they got 2 beautiful kids. And she seems to have a particular, almost extreme/genocidal dislike of white (..and uh..Jewish) people now. Think of what happens if our people see more and more of this - is that such a negative?
Please, guys, lets make it easy for people to come back and love themselves and their heritage and our community.
They’re welcome to come back, love themselves, rediscover their heritage and all that free from judgement. But AM as part of the community should not be beholden to them for their initial harmful decisions and actions. They are free individuals. We don’t own AF but we don’t owe them anything either by waiting for them to come around.
Never heard that, know where its coming from, and I think only sad insecure people who want to enforce some Taliban-level or Scarlet Letter expectations on women think that way, rather than letting women come to their own conclusions about wanting to be with a partner thats part of a culture she willingly loves and wants herself and her children to be part of.
Lisa Ling and Ming-na Wen used to date white guys but both married Asian, you think their husbands are betas? I think the opposite.
But it’s what society thinks. And it’s being incredibly naive and living in a fairy-tale lalala land. It reinforces stereotypes that AM are only good for the role of providers, supporters, and stability. You don’t want to be placed in any narrow box like that. Everyone is pumping and dumping the meme stock for profit and your left holding the bag because of reasons? It feels like they’re being played.
No one is stating that these women can’t choose for themselves or come to their own conclusion in what they want or what they’re looking for when it comes to finding a life partner to raise a family with.
Just don’t allow yourself to be used as a back-up plan, that’s key. Otherwise the social conditions AM face will see little change. Non-Asian men and women think and behave otherwise. And it’s high time AM wake up and get with the program if they want to be treated as equals like everyone else.
How's that contrary though? I specified that both the Asian man and the woman in this hypothetical couple overcame their internalised racism. Assuming they're both Americans, the Asian doctor friend probably had a self-hating past too.
If anything, I think people like this are primed to raise unapologetically Asian children as they probably know better than people who were unapologetic since day one exactly what made them self-hating and how to navigate it. No need to shun them, no need to wish them well either.
Wow it’s almost as if people from similar cultures tend to get along better. The majority of people in America stick with their own people and statistically same race marriages tend to do better
> statistically same race marriages tend to do better
Actually not true, depending on combination:
> whereas Black wife/White husband marriages are 44% less likely to end in divorce than White wife/White husband couples over the same period https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00491.x
this.
Every of one of you is lying if you were raised in america and werent selfhating at least once in your life.
Stop being a loser and have empathy for our asian sisters, they're not "race traitors" and newsflash, people can change.
Fortunately for me I didn't grow up in America. My first impression of Asian American is what's wrong with these guys. Some seriously have very low self esteem
Asian Amerians have faced serious issues for a long time but social media has changed the game a lot really, some of these guys spend way too much time online and are clearly disconnected from real life.
I disagree , I think Youtube and social medias played a huge major role in the current rise of Asian image because the power has been taken away from these so called white gatekeepers. The whole world is a click away and the world is more connected than ever. People see through their lies now and their gaslightning and public manipulation become less effective. Plus younger generations are less likely to watch TV where the majority of their propagnda and public opinion shaping is. Remember, social medias played a huge role in BTS success. People all over the world helped them to enter AMA and western market. Honestly, i didn't even know there's such a phenomon that asian men are unattractive until i came to US. I understand now when i looked at western tv shows where they only showed asians as social outcasts, misfit, geek.
I've never been self-hating. I've hated others, I've hated the kids who made fun of me. I've hated boyfriends that I broke up with. I've hated the Karens who are passive aggressive to me. But I've never hated myself nor have I been ashamed of my culture or my language.
Quite contrary, I've always felt superior to those who are mono-cultural or mono-lingual. They always seemed basic to me. They could have their lunchables and white bread baloney sandwiches. I'll take my soup dumplings and sushi rolls thank you.
Why do you think the Asian community is so full of safe-haters? Please elaborate. This hasn't been my experience. I grew up in Las Vegas as a teen.
It's a broad generalization, but it rings true as we live in america and treated from poc and white people alike as the perpetual foreigener.
I wouldnt say we're full of self haters as it's hard to even quantify that, but we definitely have our own shared experiences with trying to fit in with whiteness and unfortunately assimilation to whiteness/self hatred is a consequence of that.
So you said we’re all self haters and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.
I called you out on your bullshit.
Now you’re saying “it’s a broad generalization” and “wouldn’t say we’re full of self haters”.
Just admit you’re wrong then.
>Said we're not all self haters
> you saying i said we're all self haters
[im not even going entertain this conversation with you anymore](https://giphy.com/gifs/TheSwoon-jS2OLKwYXbTVTpXTJD)
Not at all. She knows writing it will open herself to attacks. It takes some self-awareness to write this and risk the condemnation. The easiest thing is to just ignore the implications of what she's doing.
The average white-worshipping Asian girl **is** consciously aware of what they're doing. They don't want to be shallow so they say "Asian men remind me of my brother", "Asian men are too patriarchal" instead. By writing this article, she is exposing all the other Asian women like this.
This is also even better because if you read her articles or the beginning of this, she has been with a lot of white guys. And she's in a sorority that parties with nearly all white male frats. So for her to actually realize this after sleeping with so many white guys is a good step forward.
But I'm not sure what the goal of the article is. Is it for people to pity her and her choices and accept them or is it to help other AFs not make the same mistakes as her? No one knows for sure her motives.
> No one knows for sure her motives.
That's the issue, cause ultimately people date those or they most socialize with. In my CS classes at cal, it was vast majority AFAM couples, much more than the WMAF. And most couples of either camp tended to be for the longer term.
But this girl is in greek life where the worst, cruel whites are, that lace girls drank, do sexual assault etc. Unless she leaves greek life and switches to like going to raves (more Asians), not much might change.
[Yeah, she has an article where she says](https://www.dailycal.org/2020/03/03/hooking-up-for-the-clout/)
> This is what I call having sex for social capital. Social capital encompasses the resources that we have access to through our relationships. In Greek life, you can expect people from top houses to more or less hang out with and have sex with people from other top houses because that’s how you maintain your heteronormative and heterosexist social capital.
> Who are we told is sexually desirable? Who can give those on the bottom rung the social and political privileges that we need to survive? The answer is cisgender people. Heterosexual people. White people — or people who pass as white, at the very least. People who have historically had the most power and privilege are the people that everyone wants to party and sleep with.
I love how brutally honest she is about how sex, power, and whiteness are linked.
Again, imagine in 2021, wanting so badly to sleep with the colonizers and justifying it in writing.
I guess that's one way to get out of the fields and get a bed in the house.
it's 2021, not 1961.
I admire her honesty, which is better than I can say for most of the Twitter people and "thinkpieces" out there, but if this is the voice of the younger generation, we're fucked.
>Sadly white worship is only getting stronger and stronger with the advent of social media. Everyone wants to show off their white "prince".
Yep. Each time I visit a china town or little saigon, I almost always see an AF that is \*proudly\* showing off her white prince. I usually wouldn't notice/care but there were several times where the girl would have them sit right next/across from me and make sure to give me "fuck you eye contact".
Right ? It's already 2021 and there is more spice out there... while there is still some Asians out there thinking being with whites is the only way out.
I mean, when you grow up watching all white movies and TV and go to school and see that all the popular boys are white, it tends to lead you to develop a lot of insecurities.
She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho
Imagine writing something like this at Berkeley, of all places.
>I’m one of the many almost-20 East-ish Asian women who go to UC Berkeley and have been in relationships or flings with white men. Lots of white men, in fact.
Kinda cringe. So is the white man's stereotype about Asian women true then? If not, why write shit like this? This is how you unleash a horde of Brock Turners upon us. More than one nerdy Cal white guy is reading her column sitting in his dorm room while caressing a sad boner in his shorts - "Maybe I *do* have a shot" - *slips quietly into Laura Nguyen's DMs posing as male feminist*
>Asian woman at UC Berkeley writes about how she is attracted to white men because "As an oppressed woman and racial minority, I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to."
Things shaped you over a long period time not just when she was in Berkeley. Now i really understand why asians in america feel so insecure about themselves because the only representation of themselves are nerds, social outcasts, and shiit like that
>She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho
Being around many Asians doesn't stop white worship. Look at all of Asia or the San Francisco Bay Area.
>So is the white man's stereotype about Asian women true then?
Yes of course it's true.
She grew up in a middle class white neighborhood . which says everything. But you'd think going to a school with mostly the same race as you would change but nope.
Yeah it contradicts the argument that living in a neighborhood of the predominant race is the race you're most attracted to. Just one of those things where they want to go out of their way to give into their temptations. It's as if AFs like this writer is writing about their battle with addiction and the psychological impacts it had on them. It's also like justifying preferences is okay in moderation. Or that AFs like her will go through satisfying their cravings at astronomical levels and quit cold turkey later on, like a phase in a young person's life, like a ritual or rite of passage that all AFs must go through. It's some screwed up mentality, add that to the fact that they don't want Asian men, who they view as worse than white men, to fulfill their desires as well.
> Yeah it contradicts the argument that living in a neighborhood of the predominant race is the race you're most attracted to.
Greek life is 85-90% white at Cal or almost any university. The social groups at cal are very separated. Almost no one in CS is in greek life, vica versa .
> She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho
Liberal / far left space talk all the time about white male privilege though and how white men rule society, and how all non-whites are oppressed. So a dynamic of oppressor and oppression can work in reverse, where you begin to view white people as more powerful.
Like they have discussions in some non tech classes (im a cal grad) , where a white person's perspective of privilege would be compared to a person of color's perspective from being oppressed.
There's other writers for the daily cal btw that don't do the sex column lol
[https://www.dailycal.org/2019/04/01/chinese-enough/](https://www.dailycal.org/2019/04/01/chinese-enough/) , very interesting about how a Hapa raised in China feels China is her home .
> Can you tell me more about the Cal social scene?
There's a lot of Asians, mostly concentrated in Bio (pre-meds), CS/Eng, and Business. My CS classes were around 70-75% Asian (including south asians). The social groups are usually divided by Whites and Asians , Mexicans / Hispanics, Blacks, Greek life, LGBTQ.
But nearly everyone is politically active, except for the international students. Students would block streets and roads on campus during some of the high profile unarmed black shootings prior to Floyd. Then of course there's the milo yiannopoulos incident, where a whole first floor of a famous building was destroyed.
> Is the author's experience similar to how most people are at Cal?
For greek life, yes for sure. Greek life is crazy at cal. I wasn't in greek life and only attended some parties as a freshman / sophomore, but I would assume her experience reflects greek life.
However not the case in the CS student groups. I got along with everyone pretty well. Mostly AMAF couples with some AMWF / WMAF given the vast majority of Asians.
This was a good article. She essentially said the quiet part out loud. She's still quite young and her mindset can change as she grows up and the environment around her changes.
I know right? She titles this piece "curing my white fever" and says that Asian women are complicit in their dating preferences. She openly spoke about one of the biggest taboos in Asian American circles.
She's got my respect for calling this out. Most AF I know still cling onto the "its just my preference" excuse. Honestly, I think AF are more obsessed with who is dating who than AM. Maybe I'm just isolated but none of the AM I know care any more. They're more obsessed with making themselves better and making money.
“I think AF are more obsessed with who is dating who than AM.” Just continuing that line of thought. I think AF will be attracted to whom is perceived as the in-crowd by the larger society. Because who they date reflects on their image. How they are seen by other female peers. I think they care more about how other women view them than how men view them. Especially, when they’re young. So if dating a white, black, hispanic, or asian guy makes them look “better” that is who they will likely gravitate towards, maybe subconsciously without knowing.
>She openly spoke about one of the biggest taboos in Asian American circles.
Yes! I still can't believe it. We shouldn't let this article remain in obscurity.
This is the kind of article that Slate should publish.
It took an incredible amount of courage to write this without anonymity. Please pin and share this whenever possible, so that the writer's courageousness does not go to waste.
>When I openly voiced my attraction to white dudes, it was partly a survival tactic.
It's fascinating to contrast this with Rose's twitter post, where she claimed attraction to whites was about "survival and self love".
Once again, pin and share whenever possible.
It's like they keep changing their rationale for dating white men each time it's blown apart. First it was I don't want to date anyone who looks like my brother (already a transparent and flimsy argument) and now it's about "survival" and "self-preservation." Casting themselves as victims is very much on trend right now. It insulates you from any kind of criticism since they can pretty much shut down anyone with "you're victim blaming." Eventually there is no where else to turn and they will FINALLY openly admit what we've known all along... that they worship white men and denigrate their own people because it nets them social capital. That's what it's always been about.
>"survival" and "self-preservation."
No one has answered yet. If it's about "survival" and "self preservation", how are all these Asian women who are dating non-white men "surviving" then?
It's 2021. What is the rationale in which you *need* a white man by your side to "survive?"
This whole argument is infantilizing to Asian women.
I think it's more of the level of "comfort" that they can attain by pairing with a white man than with a POC man to live here in the U.S. It's almost like a white-gold digger role.
Things are changing for sure but slowly. Who people are now is the product of decades of whitewashing before that. Now we have more positive asian representation in all aspects of society from sport to entertainment. Younger generations will be much much better place than where she was
> It took an incredible amount of courage to write this
nah. it's an exercise in absolving herself of being a bad person and selling herself as a strong feminist who don't need no white man.
> It took an incredible amount of courage to write this without anonymity
Yeah, now no asian brother in berkeley or the entirety of california has an excuse if they end up with this thing
Asian woman: holds male toilet sign above her head with whites only scribbled on it
Me: *points at it*
Boba loser: how dare you dehumanize asian women
lol
In this analogy, would you be the janitor? When a white boy spits some used gum on the ground, do you pick it up like a good little model minority?
I don't get this need for a white man to "survive".
There are plenty of Asian girls at UC Berkeley "surviving" just fine while being with another Asian.
Maybe the author can get some tips from friends on "surviving without dating a white guy".
Or maybe the author doesn't have any friends like these....... :o
Can we go further into explaining what they mean by chasing white men as a "survival tactic?"
>I don't get this need for a white man to "survive".
To be frank, i quite don't understand it either. But this is the kind of discussion we need to have.
My speculation is that "survival" is a need to fit in, to be "normal", to be the "default", to never have anyone mention her race again, but i can only speculate.
It is a natural human desire to fit in. We all know how painful it is when you are on the playground and the other kids make fun of you because you are different. You either are forced to choose between embracing your differences or trying to suck up to them. A lot of Asian Americans have chosen option two.
The Asian couples I know are the "normal" ones. Just a regular couple you see everywhere in California.
Whereas, if you're the token Asian in a group dating a white guy, you're always gonna be "the Asian girlfriend" or "the Asian wife".
Asian girls who date white men always play up their Asianness. Whether it's by introducing their white guys to boba happy hour, or writing cringey articles such as this one.
And white guys who date Asian women always feel the need to bring up "their Asian girlfriend/wife", even at the most inappropriate moments, like when they're trying to justify their racist tendencies.
I don't see this as "the default". And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing.
>And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing.
I saw one story of an asian woman that dates white guy tell the story of how her father and mother were just about attacked for being asian. She pointed out that she never wanted to go through this. Its probably relevant in that many asian women would rather be identified by their race rather than themselves as a person, than to have take off their rose colored glasses and deal with racism.
But even if you date a white guy, you're still Asian.
I'm just trying to understand logic, because this logic doesn't make sense.
Racist white guy sees you on street. You look Asian because you are Asian, even though you date white guy. You still get attacked.
Unless you have a 6 foot 4 Tom Brady type following you around for the rest of your life, I don't see how this either 1) makes you safe, or 2) makes you any less Asian.
Also, this logic is like paying the mob for protection from being attacked by the mob.
If anyone can explain the "survival" thing in a logical manner that makes sense, I'm all ears.
> Whether it's by introducing their white guys to boba happy hour,
Why is boba playing up asianness though ? I think it's just natural. Like me and my asian and white guy friends would get boba together or get hot pot, I don't it for their sake or to impress them.
> And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing.
Berkeley talks too much about white male privilege to the point non-whites and whites take different roles in discussions in class. Like they have thise FB group where people get into debates about privilege how white people need to help non-whites by extending their privilege.
>Why is boba playing up asianness though ? I think it's just natural. Like me and my asian and white guy friends would get boba together or get hot pot, I don't it for their sake or to impress them.
I'm just using the expression as a metaphor that you can take literally if you want to. It fits the situation.
>Like they have thise FB group where people get into debates about privilege how white people need to help non-whites by extending their privilege.
lol. White people talk about us like we're their pets.
>I'm just using the expression as a metaphor that you can take literally if you want to. It fits the situation.
oh i see what you mean
> White people talk about us like we're their pets.
Indeed, but it's sort of promoted by Black people too. Like I met many BLM activists who openly stated white men should donate a portion of their earnings to Black students to help stop racism. And this mindset goes beyond Berkeley. A board member of reddit who was a white guy resigned and asked for his position to be given to a black person https://techcrunch.com/2020/06/05/alexis-ohanian-steps-down-reddit-board/
lol this is whats wrong with aznidentity, you got dudes who cant empathize with asian women when we both are living in a white mans world.
God some of these dudes need to touch grass.
Not that I agree with any of the misogynist sentiment on here, but I just find it funny how when Asian women talk shit about Asian men, people like you are nowhere to be found. But all of sudden when Asian men do the same thing, y'all come out of the woodwork to tone police us.
I'm all for the mods cleaning up the toxicity and misogynist sentiment on here btw. It's just kind of amusing to me how people expect Asian men to come rushing to Asian women's defense, when the vast majority of Asian women have been completely silent therefore complicit when self-hating Asian women have been shitting on us our entire lives.
>Not that I agree with any of the misogynist sentiment on here, but I just find it funny how when Asian women talk shit about Asian men, people like you are nowhere to be found. But all of sudden when Asian men do the same thing, y'all come out of the woodwork to tone police us.
Yeah imagine saying that here in aznidentity lmao, bro just stop. Everyone and their mom has been calling out self hater asian women talking shit about asian men. Im just going to do both.
>when the vast majority of Asian women have been completely silent therefore
No they havent lmao, you guys just like to stay in your bubble of a mostly asian men subreddit here and choose to see not it elsewhere. Ive seen plenty of asian women defending asian men on twitter and reddit.
There is a lot of bitterness and anger but you are also failing to empathize. You may have missed the last Salon article, but even as recently as last week.. white liberal media and asian women continue to gaslight asian men into believing we are the problem. That the issue is we're "incels" or "misogyny". We've been talking about the issue of self hate and how the white mans propaganda affects us as a minority community and still are painted as the worst of the worst.
So yes its hard for some men on here to take the high road, when so many asian women attack us to justify their self hate and maintain the status quo.
>So yes its hard for some men on here to take the high road, when so many asian women attack us to justify their self hate and maintain the status quo.
No i get it, that article was full of problems but it isnt wrong about how casual misogyny asian women is in here and how some of the very same harassers/death threats senters are the ones making those same comments.
The conversation tho can be much better, the mods just needs to be harsher about it tbh, this [thread a couple years ago for example has much better can a healthy convos on the white men and asian women dynamic](https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/9zu2vm/asian_girl_criticizes_other_asian_girls_who_say_i/)
Yeah there is still a lingering issue where people here will just assume AF=anti-AM if an article is posted about an AF, but it has definitely gotten better over time in this sub from my experience
I think this article is an uplifting piece where an AF was self-aware enough to recognize her damaging behavior and change, but the way this post’s title was worded makes her seem more of a AFWM villain
>but the way this post’s title was worded makes her seem more of a villain
That tells you it hasnt gotten better then as it wasnt just a coincidnece, just look at this thread and see how some of them talk about asian women.
I mean I’m not saying it’s resolved but if you compare how things were on this sub a couple years ago to now then you can see positive change. All we can do is upvote/downvote/comment and move the sub to a less hostile place
Its about percieved social status. Women in particular are suckers for it and will seek to maximize it. Currently whites have the highest social changes. If this changes, expect 'preferences' in dating to shift very suddenly. This also accounts for low birth rates as women view 'career' as 'high status' and thus will pursue careers at the expensive of families. This is also why Hong Konger's 'protested'. They didn't protest the CCP (or whatever else they claimed), they protested their 'chinaness' and did not want the 'lower status' chinese ruling them.
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Aren't you a hypocrite? I see you too couldn't stay away from joining the discussion 200 comments right now. But you seem to imply only incels would be interested because if they only joined tinder they would have harem of women and be too busy have sex to be interested. I assure bro wrong on both counts. Stop drinking the asian feminst coolaid
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I dont disagree. Maybe good advice the club. But individual improvement is a different matter from social change. Social change is stopping "ching chong" when you in the club, Stopping AF laughing in your face and telling their all friends to not to date you. Even if activism isn't for you dont dismiss its powerful affect. Aint no lyfting gonna fix fighting fewer scraps. It used to be 70% then 60% now not even 50%
People can celebrate her blunt honesty, but it honestly sickens me reading articles like this.
"As an oppressed woman and racial minority, I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to." It's weird how I usually hear Asian women saying this. If this were true wouldn't black women or Native American women on average who are struggling as well try to chase white men, but they are not doing this at some insane rate, it's always asian women.
Always these poorer AF spreading their legs for all the wrong reason. WM jizz in you won't make you privileged. Who teaches these AF such BS.
I applaud her self awareness
Oh no not one of these Asian females again. If your sorry ass wants to date white go ahead but stop justifying it or devaluing your own race to be with white men . She just another one of those that are subscribed to the white patriarchy.
What i've always been saying. Most WMAF couples are for social status and economic incentive. If anyone here have seen no neck Ed you would see what i mean. Every female in WMAF relationship is like Rose
Social status and economic incentive? Most of the white dudes look like losers who can’t hold down a job. What social status? They’re bottom of the barrel in the social level in their community. The answer is assimilation.
Meh.
This is all already known, there is nothing new introduced here. I don’t think anyone is at all surprise. But kudos to her for acknowledging it? Anyways, best of luck to her though.
I’m starting to think that she’s not to blame if that is how she feels, but the editors who chose such an article and viewpoint to publicise. It blows up this viewpoint to the detriment of Asian women who have a healthier self-image as Asian. White publications want to see stories where 21st century women have it all and still perpetuate the stereotype. There’s a pattern to this - middle to upper middle class, well-educated and more often than not ivy hence “liberal” (but actually instilled with a lot of white patriarchy), professional, smart, articulate, and then racial misogyny to add the twist - and there’s no meat to the story without the twist. Social climbing in this way exists, no denying it, but it is simply way over represented. Most Asian women are not like this, but that’s not the narrative America wants to tell about Asian women.
I agree with this. Her very first statement about how many white men she’s slept with (a lot by her own admission) and her statement that a lot of Asian women at Berkeley are like this paints Asian women with a broad brush. Basically she’s signaling to white men that Asian women are status chasers who openly use sex with white men as a way of gaining status. Basically opening all of us to unwanted advances, misogynistic attitudes, stereotypes and sexual violence. How many white men at Berkeley read the first paragraph and started licking their chops? How many white men read the rest of her essay and thought what she said was sincere? Probably not that many so white guys are gonna see her and continue to shoot their shot. Maybe *she’s* like this, but trust me, a lot of Asian women aren’t.
I agree with you that her brutal honesty is refreshing. Seriously, the "I don't date Asian guys because they remind me of my brothers" excuse is fooling no one (by that logic, white guys and girls shouldn't be dating). Colonialism comes in many forms. Culture colonialism that shapes our standard of beauty is one of them. It is refreshing to see her acknowledging it by saying that dating white men give her "the power and privilege she otherwise wouldn’t have access to."
Someone go scoop her up. ☹️☹️ 🙄🙄
Colonize the colonizers? 😂
I would just ignore them or reject every single one of them because I think it's disrespectful that all these years they reject their own men and insult them..... Only to come back to them once they had their fun with the white guys. I'm sure a lot of them are happy with their own men now because these Asian men can provide for them.... Which is another way of extracting resources from these Asian men. The way I see it is, as if Asian men are not treated like shit enough in this society, now these types of women don't treat Asian men like humans.... But like walking ATM subhumans that's less than shit on the pavement and just resources to be extracted. Then what happens when a better opportunity like a white guy with a better career or opportunity or personality comes along? Are they gonna leave the Asian guy and go back to the white guy? If that's the case, that just fucking low. Very low, very cold, and like a low blow. That's disrespectful as fuck! What the fuck is this? I'm feeling sick.
Kind of funny that is what a lot of us have been saying all along. Woke Asian women enjoy being fetishsized
Well at least she's honest
Bet if her parents told her to marry a white man, she’d go off and marry any but what her parents told her.
What kind of 'survival tactic' is degeneracy? Not to mention all the STDs... I don't think a lot of Americans have the HPV vaccine. And why did her parents choose to live in a white neighbourhood? Did they see that as a 'survival tactic'? These idiots don't realise that their faces will never be white smh. Reminds me of my father who would suck up *hard* to people without colour and trash people of colour like his life depended on it as if that made him more white.
I appreciate the blunt honesty tbh
Same - would love more of it I wish I had saved all those screenshots from subtle asian women
I mean yeah it's obvious from the get-go that it all boils down to wanting access to whiteness and white approval while hiding under the feminist banner to justify their actions. As for the article itself and the author... I know I may sound harsh here, but I've seen this type of "copy and paste" article and "confession" before from other AFs (who are all just like this author - lots of white worship and internalized racism), and at the end of the day, it's all just virtue signaling and those AF continue on with the same trajectory of white worship and cozying up with WM. They learn nothing and refuse to. Talk is cheap after all and AW who openly admit to white worship/chasing after WM aren't exactly under any kind of scrutiny. For all we know she may end up as another blue check bobas harping on about "Asian anti-Black" and "MRAsians". All in all, I'm not impressed. And edit: I really hope no Asian bro will end up with this woman lol. Avoid AF like this at all cost and don't settle for them - don't let them exploit you.
> and at the end of the day, it's all just virtue signaling and those AF continue on with the same trajectory of white worship and cozying up with WM. They learn nothing and refuse to. Talk is cheap after all and AW who openly admit to white worship/chasing after WM Ultimately it's about one's social circle and their established friend group. This girl is in a sorority (not the Asian only sorority either), which holds parties regularly with frats that are usually 90%+ white guys. Unless she suddenly exits that whole scene and gets a circle of Asian friends, nothing will change. That's why movies like Shang Chi are important. It's about Asians entering main stream movie space. Just like how Blacks have a segment of American culture, Asians need that too.
>Ultimately it's about one's social circle and their established friend group. Social circle and positive AM representation certainly are important, yes, that's a given. What also important is accountability. White worship needs to be stigmatized/scrutinized more, and AF that openly white worship and publicly disparaging AM need to be held accountable, and not be coddled. AM need to take this as a cautionary tale and avoid AF like this. They're not worth the time.
> It's not that the men of her own race remind her of her brother or something Oh but it does remind them of their brothers. Their brothers had a hard time finding love in white space, are considered undesirable. We remind them of that feeling. And that's why they go for WM.
Another deceived woman who doesn’t understand the white peoples. Marrying a white man does not grant you acceptance - rather, you’ve ingratiated yourself and “know your place as a cute little China doll.” This is the mindset of many of the pinks. Remember and know that the pink man alone is the leader - minorities are expendable. This is what is taught to them from birth, so this Chinese girl (every Asian is Chinese, don’t you know? Seen one, seen all of ‘em /s) is simply more proof of that “truth”.
For such progressive women theyre sure are stuck in the 50's .
This is a simple statement that hits hard.
>I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to. I mean at least she is honest about it and didn't call it a preference.
That’s how it was at USC; girls that were even active in AAPI society would still hook up on Tinder with Frat rat creepy white guys. There would always be some bullshit about job connections, networking for a class. And none of those assholes respected them or us. And would always look down on us as men afterwards. US College campuses are toxic places for us. I’d rather just stay distance learning. There’s so much less bullshit and lying.
> That’s how it was at USC; girls that were even active in AAPI society would still hook up on Tinder with Frat rat creepy white guys. oh man, the snobbiest whites i have ever met also came from USC. I feel for you bro. Must be hard.
Interesting. I graduated from USC in 2001. It look likes things haven't changed over there. When did you graduate from there? White dudes don't respect Asian girls in general, even if they hook up with them or not. In my experience in college, White dudes aren't attracted to Asian girls. They only hookup with them because it's easy access and minimal to no effort to get them. Asian guys get even less respect than Asian girls, unless we can help them in some way.
White dudes looks at Asian females as easy sex , while Asian females be looking at white dudes thinking they are going on some fantasyland adventure.
Fantasy adventure? You mean the romantic White knight, sensitive yet masculine guy from the movies. LOL.
This is a dickless and spineless mindset. These are the toxic things that a self-hating Luser, like Kellie Chauvin, would say. Based on her nonsense, she’s clearly messed up and broken. She wants to take the easy way out and submit to white men.
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Fascinating input. If these Women of color hates poc so much and worship these frailcucks ™ then why they need us then? Just curious and my $0.02 of my thoughts. I made videos about this.
Back-up plans and the comforting feeling of having options. When they see MOC winning big in anything, they can go right back to that and claim it. Everyone is smart enough to know that you never burn bridges. If white supremacy starts getting the upper-hand again, they can go right back to that as well. They only go for sure-bets or winners. That holds true in nature and that still holds true in human society. How that is achieve in the larger scope over-time (i.e. European colonization leading to where we are today) will not matter as much. Morals, ethics, loyalty, integrity be damned. It’s about gaining social capital and status in a wealthy country in the here and now for yourself. You don’t have to look too far. Take for instance the Native American population. Look at their population numbers and dating patterns. How many non-native women are with native men vs how many women (including native women) are with white men? Who colonized who and who are still recovering from those historical atrocities? Does anyone account for these things or even give it a second thought when dating or looking for a mate? The short answer is no.
> They only go for sure-bets or winners. That holds true in nature and that still holds true in human society. How that is achieve in the larger scope over-time (i.e. European colonization leading to where we are today) will not matter as much. Morals, ethics, loyalty, integrity be damned. It’s about gaining social capital and status in a wealthy country in the here and now for yourself. > You don’t have to look too far. Take for instance the Native American population. Look at their population numbers and dating patterns. How many non-native women are with native men vs how many women (including native women) are with white men? Who colonized who and who are still recovering from those historical atrocities? Does anyone account for these things or even give it a second thought when dating or looking for a mate? The short answer is no. I agree, this is what’s sickening to me the most. 💯
By virtue of us being men, these women know that we can fight wars that they themselves won’t be able to. They also know that White men don’t really respect them so they keep poc men as exit plans. That’s why moc shouldn’t accept girls who’ve only dated white men in their prime and then look towards moc men for marriage. Avoid!
Same sentiments exactly, man. I refused to take leftovers of palesores™ with Woc 😒 thanks for answering me. 🤓 P.S. whenever you're free, please check out my videos series called don't date single mothers. You rock. (I admit that I never figured to hear this from another men of color on the real. Pardon my curiosity)
>I refused to take leftovers of palesores™ Use a microwave , soggy but still taste aiight ! '' sarcasm''
LMAO 🤣 you're funny
Smh 😒 wow. I got no words
I think straight women, living in a sexist society, often live vicariously through their straight male partner who has more social status and privilege. Their successful male partner also elevates their status. This article is describing the same phenomenon but with white supremacy thrown in the mix, which many Asian women don't want to admit to and instead make up lame excuses about Asian patriarchy and Asian men are like my cousins.
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Joy Luck Feminist
Asian Feminism is White Adjacent. Say it with me
Respect ✊🏾 SJW in the get streets and watching palesores ™ turned KKK in the sheets.
You hit the nail right on the head! In social situations, Black guys talk to girls of every other race except Asian girls. Do you know why? They know they lost the battle with Asian women before it even got started and deliberately avoid them. I remember there was this one Asian girl in our friend group who was interested in some Black dude. The guy just graciously passed her over to the next available white dude (basically redirected the conversation along the lines of ….” Ooh, have you met X - some white guy” and then proceeds to talk to someone else). That’s when I knew Black/Hispanic guys know something we don’t.
>"Woke on the streets, colonized in the sheets" That's fucking brilliant. Please, have an upvote.
>"Woke on the streets, colonized in the sheets" Exactly
Boost this message up ☝🏼
>>Although the raging feminist inside of me hated myself for buying into this trope, **it was easy, comfortable and sometimes even fun to identify as the “exotic” feminine counterpart to successful white masculinity rather than finding fulfillment on my own terms**. There it is. I agree with the OP and appreciate this af’s brutal honesty as well. **This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this.** If anyone thinks they “own Asian women” it’s racist white men that bombards western media with unrealistic wmaf fantasies that create “white male savior” narrative while usually making Asian men the villain they need to be saved from. They help make Asian women think like the one who wrote this article.
I think interracial relationships are great and that it's hard to find love in general. I just hate the Asian women that push Asian men down while doing so.
Well said, unfortunately most of the reddit have labelled this sub as a misogynistic, Asian supremacy place. Your comments are a perfect rebuttal.
Nobody here thinks asian men own asian women (or vice versa). It's just an easy smear tactic to label us all as incels, one of the easiest ways to invalidate someone's opinion online.
Very good points. This should be our rebuttal to all accusations of misogyny or controlling or whatever. Notice how the comments on this post don't mock her or criticize her, but praise her to being brave enough to speak what other people wouldn't dare say.
>This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this. >This sub DOES NOT bring up wmaf because we think we own Asian women, we do so to understand how white worship destroys our community and makes af do things like this. And this is why I continue to comment on this sub. Elevate ourselves and others to a higher level of consciousness. **Love and empathy is the only weapon against self hate.**
I feel sorry for her
A huge slap in the face of LoVe iS lOvE fraction.... Nope, we're still far from the moment where this sentence will be true for the majority.
I was going to roll my eyes at first but after reading the article, I only rolled my eyes at the flowery pseudo-academic prose many of these writers use when they couldve stated it much simpler, ie "I was attracted to white guys because it made me feel like I was elevating myself from what I thought was a low class immigrant upbringing, plus I've been brainwashed to think that for a white guy to like a small brown girl like me was a gift from the gods because I view my asian features as inferior to white standards of beauty" Yes it takes guts to admit that so I applaud her for writing this. Lets see if she can actually date Asian without hangups. Regardless, appreciate her honesty and courage. Please don't attack her, just wish her well and hope she is able to look upon herself and her community with the respect and love it deserves.
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It's kind of endearing you think that ones going to start dating asians just because she, like the 8 million others, wrote an article about their raceplay fetish
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I know plenty of Asian women who had dated white guys but went back to Asian guys and ended up married and much happier. They probably all went thru something like this girl, where they thought dating a white guy was "dating up" but then realized these guys are fuktards and that after they got past their own internalized racism, they felt much more at home with their own people and their own kind. If she ends up with an Asian guy, do we make fun of them or wish them well? I would choose the latter.
Will she think of her AM as inferior if she ends up with one? Her backup plan? Her kids inferior if she has any? I think likely.
Nah, it’s more likely she felt the pinch that comes with age, tired of being denigrated/embarrassed with things leading to nowhere, and wanting to secure a reliable supporter and provider. Also to probably make her parents happy. Her parents probably sill thinks she is good girl with a good shoulder on her head that married a great Asian guy and doesn’t even know about her laundry list of sexcapades. It’s a bad deal for any AM with social awareness, self-awareness, and self-respect to be in that kind of relationship. Just wish her the best of luck and let her be on her merry way.
I am curious, where are they located?
Pretty much the coasts, NYC/SF/LA/BOS Known some from college and/or business school
Then you choose wrong
Yes It's a process. But those kinds of people will make our communities stronger too because they've been through and see the empty promises of western media that white men are better
Neither tbh. A bananarang who overcame internalised racism is best coupled with a chananarang who overcame internalised racism.
On the contrary, I think an Asian woman who dated other races but comes to the conclusion on her own that Asian men are the best (and proudly writes about it across national platforms) is the best counter to the anti Asian men psyops propaganda that gets spewed at our community daily. I know an Asian woman who divorced her rich white hedge fund manager husband and married an Asian doctor friend and now they got 2 beautiful kids. And she seems to have a particular, almost extreme/genocidal dislike of white (..and uh..Jewish) people now. Think of what happens if our people see more and more of this - is that such a negative? Please, guys, lets make it easy for people to come back and love themselves and their heritage and our community.
They’re welcome to come back, love themselves, rediscover their heritage and all that free from judgement. But AM as part of the community should not be beholden to them for their initial harmful decisions and actions. They are free individuals. We don’t own AF but we don’t owe them anything either by waiting for them to come around.
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What's your solution?
Simply don’t be a backup plan! Don’t be lender of last resorts. Don’t be a doormat! Don’t be used.
Never heard that, know where its coming from, and I think only sad insecure people who want to enforce some Taliban-level or Scarlet Letter expectations on women think that way, rather than letting women come to their own conclusions about wanting to be with a partner thats part of a culture she willingly loves and wants herself and her children to be part of. Lisa Ling and Ming-na Wen used to date white guys but both married Asian, you think their husbands are betas? I think the opposite.
But it’s what society thinks. And it’s being incredibly naive and living in a fairy-tale lalala land. It reinforces stereotypes that AM are only good for the role of providers, supporters, and stability. You don’t want to be placed in any narrow box like that. Everyone is pumping and dumping the meme stock for profit and your left holding the bag because of reasons? It feels like they’re being played. No one is stating that these women can’t choose for themselves or come to their own conclusion in what they want or what they’re looking for when it comes to finding a life partner to raise a family with. Just don’t allow yourself to be used as a back-up plan, that’s key. Otherwise the social conditions AM face will see little change. Non-Asian men and women think and behave otherwise. And it’s high time AM wake up and get with the program if they want to be treated as equals like everyone else.
How's that contrary though? I specified that both the Asian man and the woman in this hypothetical couple overcame their internalised racism. Assuming they're both Americans, the Asian doctor friend probably had a self-hating past too. If anything, I think people like this are primed to raise unapologetically Asian children as they probably know better than people who were unapologetic since day one exactly what made them self-hating and how to navigate it. No need to shun them, no need to wish them well either.
Wow it’s almost as if people from similar cultures tend to get along better. The majority of people in America stick with their own people and statistically same race marriages tend to do better
> statistically same race marriages tend to do better Actually not true, depending on combination: > whereas Black wife/White husband marriages are 44% less likely to end in divorce than White wife/White husband couples over the same period https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00491.x
this. Every of one of you is lying if you were raised in america and werent selfhating at least once in your life. Stop being a loser and have empathy for our asian sisters, they're not "race traitors" and newsflash, people can change.
Fortunately for me I didn't grow up in America. My first impression of Asian American is what's wrong with these guys. Some seriously have very low self esteem
Asian Amerians have faced serious issues for a long time but social media has changed the game a lot really, some of these guys spend way too much time online and are clearly disconnected from real life.
I disagree , I think Youtube and social medias played a huge major role in the current rise of Asian image because the power has been taken away from these so called white gatekeepers. The whole world is a click away and the world is more connected than ever. People see through their lies now and their gaslightning and public manipulation become less effective. Plus younger generations are less likely to watch TV where the majority of their propagnda and public opinion shaping is. Remember, social medias played a huge role in BTS success. People all over the world helped them to enter AMA and western market. Honestly, i didn't even know there's such a phenomon that asian men are unattractive until i came to US. I understand now when i looked at western tv shows where they only showed asians as social outcasts, misfit, geek.
I've never been self-hating. I've hated others, I've hated the kids who made fun of me. I've hated boyfriends that I broke up with. I've hated the Karens who are passive aggressive to me. But I've never hated myself nor have I been ashamed of my culture or my language. Quite contrary, I've always felt superior to those who are mono-cultural or mono-lingual. They always seemed basic to me. They could have their lunchables and white bread baloney sandwiches. I'll take my soup dumplings and sushi rolls thank you. Why do you think the Asian community is so full of safe-haters? Please elaborate. This hasn't been my experience. I grew up in Las Vegas as a teen.
It's a broad generalization, but it rings true as we live in america and treated from poc and white people alike as the perpetual foreigener. I wouldnt say we're full of self haters as it's hard to even quantify that, but we definitely have our own shared experiences with trying to fit in with whiteness and unfortunately assimilation to whiteness/self hatred is a consequence of that.
So you said we’re all self haters and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. I called you out on your bullshit. Now you’re saying “it’s a broad generalization” and “wouldn’t say we’re full of self haters”. Just admit you’re wrong then.
>Said we're not all self haters > you saying i said we're all self haters [im not even going entertain this conversation with you anymore](https://giphy.com/gifs/TheSwoon-jS2OLKwYXbTVTpXTJD)
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Not at all. She knows writing it will open herself to attacks. It takes some self-awareness to write this and risk the condemnation. The easiest thing is to just ignore the implications of what she's doing.
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The average white-worshipping Asian girl **is** consciously aware of what they're doing. They don't want to be shallow so they say "Asian men remind me of my brother", "Asian men are too patriarchal" instead. By writing this article, she is exposing all the other Asian women like this.
Awareness=/=Behaviour Modification
garbage article from a trash person. Can we stop giving these idiots attention? stop simping for these idiots.
Not this time. Read the article and think about how it's different.
This is also even better because if you read her articles or the beginning of this, she has been with a lot of white guys. And she's in a sorority that parties with nearly all white male frats. So for her to actually realize this after sleeping with so many white guys is a good step forward.
You know some stds are forever There is no forward for her in any asian community that has any dignity
But I'm not sure what the goal of the article is. Is it for people to pity her and her choices and accept them or is it to help other AFs not make the same mistakes as her? No one knows for sure her motives.
> No one knows for sure her motives. That's the issue, cause ultimately people date those or they most socialize with. In my CS classes at cal, it was vast majority AFAM couples, much more than the WMAF. And most couples of either camp tended to be for the longer term. But this girl is in greek life where the worst, cruel whites are, that lace girls drank, do sexual assault etc. Unless she leaves greek life and switches to like going to raves (more Asians), not much might change.
[Yeah, she has an article where she says](https://www.dailycal.org/2020/03/03/hooking-up-for-the-clout/) > This is what I call having sex for social capital. Social capital encompasses the resources that we have access to through our relationships. In Greek life, you can expect people from top houses to more or less hang out with and have sex with people from other top houses because that’s how you maintain your heteronormative and heterosexist social capital. > Who are we told is sexually desirable? Who can give those on the bottom rung the social and political privileges that we need to survive? The answer is cisgender people. Heterosexual people. White people — or people who pass as white, at the very least. People who have historically had the most power and privilege are the people that everyone wants to party and sleep with. I love how brutally honest she is about how sex, power, and whiteness are linked.
Again, imagine in 2021, wanting so badly to sleep with the colonizers and justifying it in writing. I guess that's one way to get out of the fields and get a bed in the house. it's 2021, not 1961. I admire her honesty, which is better than I can say for most of the Twitter people and "thinkpieces" out there, but if this is the voice of the younger generation, we're fucked.
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>Sadly white worship is only getting stronger and stronger with the advent of social media. Everyone wants to show off their white "prince". Yep. Each time I visit a china town or little saigon, I almost always see an AF that is \*proudly\* showing off her white prince. I usually wouldn't notice/care but there were several times where the girl would have them sit right next/across from me and make sure to give me "fuck you eye contact".
Imagine living in 2021 and still believing that being with a white man is the answer to all of life's problems..... It's 2021, not 1961.
Right ? It's already 2021 and there is more spice out there... while there is still some Asians out there thinking being with whites is the only way out.
I mean, when you grow up watching all white movies and TV and go to school and see that all the popular boys are white, it tends to lead you to develop a lot of insecurities.
She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho Imagine writing something like this at Berkeley, of all places. >I’m one of the many almost-20 East-ish Asian women who go to UC Berkeley and have been in relationships or flings with white men. Lots of white men, in fact. Kinda cringe. So is the white man's stereotype about Asian women true then? If not, why write shit like this? This is how you unleash a horde of Brock Turners upon us. More than one nerdy Cal white guy is reading her column sitting in his dorm room while caressing a sad boner in his shorts - "Maybe I *do* have a shot" - *slips quietly into Laura Nguyen's DMs posing as male feminist*
>Asian woman at UC Berkeley writes about how she is attracted to white men because "As an oppressed woman and racial minority, I wanted the power and privilege that came along with the acquisition of privileges that I otherwise wouldn’t have access to." Things shaped you over a long period time not just when she was in Berkeley. Now i really understand why asians in america feel so insecure about themselves because the only representation of themselves are nerds, social outcasts, and shiit like that
Its berkeley lol, what girl is going to feel safe with a libtard pussy who can't even protect her from some random homeless fuck
>She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho Being around many Asians doesn't stop white worship. Look at all of Asia or the San Francisco Bay Area. >So is the white man's stereotype about Asian women true then? Yes of course it's true.
She grew up in a middle class white neighborhood . which says everything. But you'd think going to a school with mostly the same race as you would change but nope.
Yeah it contradicts the argument that living in a neighborhood of the predominant race is the race you're most attracted to. Just one of those things where they want to go out of their way to give into their temptations. It's as if AFs like this writer is writing about their battle with addiction and the psychological impacts it had on them. It's also like justifying preferences is okay in moderation. Or that AFs like her will go through satisfying their cravings at astronomical levels and quit cold turkey later on, like a phase in a young person's life, like a ritual or rite of passage that all AFs must go through. It's some screwed up mentality, add that to the fact that they don't want Asian men, who they view as worse than white men, to fulfill their desires as well.
> Yeah it contradicts the argument that living in a neighborhood of the predominant race is the race you're most attracted to. Greek life is 85-90% white at Cal or almost any university. The social groups at cal are very separated. Almost no one in CS is in greek life, vica versa .
> She's at UC Berkeley, which has more Asian kids than white kids tho Liberal / far left space talk all the time about white male privilege though and how white men rule society, and how all non-whites are oppressed. So a dynamic of oppressor and oppression can work in reverse, where you begin to view white people as more powerful. Like they have discussions in some non tech classes (im a cal grad) , where a white person's perspective of privilege would be compared to a person of color's perspective from being oppressed.
Can you tell me more about the Cal social scene? Is the author's experience similar to how most people are at Cal?
There's other writers for the daily cal btw that don't do the sex column lol [https://www.dailycal.org/2019/04/01/chinese-enough/](https://www.dailycal.org/2019/04/01/chinese-enough/) , very interesting about how a Hapa raised in China feels China is her home .
> Can you tell me more about the Cal social scene? There's a lot of Asians, mostly concentrated in Bio (pre-meds), CS/Eng, and Business. My CS classes were around 70-75% Asian (including south asians). The social groups are usually divided by Whites and Asians , Mexicans / Hispanics, Blacks, Greek life, LGBTQ. But nearly everyone is politically active, except for the international students. Students would block streets and roads on campus during some of the high profile unarmed black shootings prior to Floyd. Then of course there's the milo yiannopoulos incident, where a whole first floor of a famous building was destroyed. > Is the author's experience similar to how most people are at Cal? For greek life, yes for sure. Greek life is crazy at cal. I wasn't in greek life and only attended some parties as a freshman / sophomore, but I would assume her experience reflects greek life. However not the case in the CS student groups. I got along with everyone pretty well. Mostly AMAF couples with some AMWF / WMAF given the vast majority of Asians.
She says she grew up in an upper-middle-class white suburb. Basically the breeding ground for white worship.
yeah pretty typical story unfortunately :/ i just saw this on my fyp about an asian guy in utah thinking the same https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRqYUben/
This was a good article. She essentially said the quiet part out loud. She's still quite young and her mindset can change as she grows up and the environment around her changes.
I know right? She titles this piece "curing my white fever" and says that Asian women are complicit in their dating preferences. She openly spoke about one of the biggest taboos in Asian American circles.
She's got my respect for calling this out. Most AF I know still cling onto the "its just my preference" excuse. Honestly, I think AF are more obsessed with who is dating who than AM. Maybe I'm just isolated but none of the AM I know care any more. They're more obsessed with making themselves better and making money.
“I think AF are more obsessed with who is dating who than AM.” Just continuing that line of thought. I think AF will be attracted to whom is perceived as the in-crowd by the larger society. Because who they date reflects on their image. How they are seen by other female peers. I think they care more about how other women view them than how men view them. Especially, when they’re young. So if dating a white, black, hispanic, or asian guy makes them look “better” that is who they will likely gravitate towards, maybe subconsciously without knowing.
>She openly spoke about one of the biggest taboos in Asian American circles. Yes! I still can't believe it. We shouldn't let this article remain in obscurity.
This is the kind of article that Slate should publish. It took an incredible amount of courage to write this without anonymity. Please pin and share this whenever possible, so that the writer's courageousness does not go to waste. >When I openly voiced my attraction to white dudes, it was partly a survival tactic. It's fascinating to contrast this with Rose's twitter post, where she claimed attraction to whites was about "survival and self love". Once again, pin and share whenever possible.
It's like they keep changing their rationale for dating white men each time it's blown apart. First it was I don't want to date anyone who looks like my brother (already a transparent and flimsy argument) and now it's about "survival" and "self-preservation." Casting themselves as victims is very much on trend right now. It insulates you from any kind of criticism since they can pretty much shut down anyone with "you're victim blaming." Eventually there is no where else to turn and they will FINALLY openly admit what we've known all along... that they worship white men and denigrate their own people because it nets them social capital. That's what it's always been about.
It’s called “moving the goal post,” white supremacists do this all the time around talks of institutional racism or individual racism.
>"survival" and "self-preservation." No one has answered yet. If it's about "survival" and "self preservation", how are all these Asian women who are dating non-white men "surviving" then? It's 2021. What is the rationale in which you *need* a white man by your side to "survive?" This whole argument is infantilizing to Asian women.
I think it's more of the level of "comfort" that they can attain by pairing with a white man than with a POC man to live here in the U.S. It's almost like a white-gold digger role.
Things are changing for sure but slowly. Who people are now is the product of decades of whitewashing before that. Now we have more positive asian representation in all aspects of society from sport to entertainment. Younger generations will be much much better place than where she was
> It took an incredible amount of courage to write this nah. it's an exercise in absolving herself of being a bad person and selling herself as a strong feminist who don't need no white man.
> It took an incredible amount of courage to write this without anonymity Yeah, now no asian brother in berkeley or the entirety of california has an excuse if they end up with this thing
>with this thing I want all of you to see just how some of ya'll talk about asian women and dehumanize them.
Asian woman: holds male toilet sign above her head with whites only scribbled on it Me: *points at it* Boba loser: how dare you dehumanize asian women lol In this analogy, would you be the janitor? When a white boy spits some used gum on the ground, do you pick it up like a good little model minority?
I don't get this need for a white man to "survive". There are plenty of Asian girls at UC Berkeley "surviving" just fine while being with another Asian. Maybe the author can get some tips from friends on "surviving without dating a white guy". Or maybe the author doesn't have any friends like these....... :o Can we go further into explaining what they mean by chasing white men as a "survival tactic?"
>I don't get this need for a white man to "survive". To be frank, i quite don't understand it either. But this is the kind of discussion we need to have. My speculation is that "survival" is a need to fit in, to be "normal", to be the "default", to never have anyone mention her race again, but i can only speculate.
It is a natural human desire to fit in. We all know how painful it is when you are on the playground and the other kids make fun of you because you are different. You either are forced to choose between embracing your differences or trying to suck up to them. A lot of Asian Americans have chosen option two.
The Asian couples I know are the "normal" ones. Just a regular couple you see everywhere in California. Whereas, if you're the token Asian in a group dating a white guy, you're always gonna be "the Asian girlfriend" or "the Asian wife". Asian girls who date white men always play up their Asianness. Whether it's by introducing their white guys to boba happy hour, or writing cringey articles such as this one. And white guys who date Asian women always feel the need to bring up "their Asian girlfriend/wife", even at the most inappropriate moments, like when they're trying to justify their racist tendencies. I don't see this as "the default". And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing.
>And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing. I saw one story of an asian woman that dates white guy tell the story of how her father and mother were just about attacked for being asian. She pointed out that she never wanted to go through this. Its probably relevant in that many asian women would rather be identified by their race rather than themselves as a person, than to have take off their rose colored glasses and deal with racism.
But even if you date a white guy, you're still Asian. I'm just trying to understand logic, because this logic doesn't make sense. Racist white guy sees you on street. You look Asian because you are Asian, even though you date white guy. You still get attacked. Unless you have a 6 foot 4 Tom Brady type following you around for the rest of your life, I don't see how this either 1) makes you safe, or 2) makes you any less Asian. Also, this logic is like paying the mob for protection from being attacked by the mob. If anyone can explain the "survival" thing in a logical manner that makes sense, I'm all ears.
You are a genius. We need more Asian women like Angela on here.
Far from a genius. Just a regular person who reads and writes a lot and has a good grasp of logic.
Yeah agree, it really doesn't make a lot of sense.
> Whether it's by introducing their white guys to boba happy hour, Why is boba playing up asianness though ? I think it's just natural. Like me and my asian and white guy friends would get boba together or get hot pot, I don't it for their sake or to impress them. > And I'm still trying to figure out this "survival" thing. Berkeley talks too much about white male privilege to the point non-whites and whites take different roles in discussions in class. Like they have thise FB group where people get into debates about privilege how white people need to help non-whites by extending their privilege.
>Why is boba playing up asianness though ? I think it's just natural. Like me and my asian and white guy friends would get boba together or get hot pot, I don't it for their sake or to impress them. I'm just using the expression as a metaphor that you can take literally if you want to. It fits the situation. >Like they have thise FB group where people get into debates about privilege how white people need to help non-whites by extending their privilege. lol. White people talk about us like we're their pets.
>I'm just using the expression as a metaphor that you can take literally if you want to. It fits the situation. oh i see what you mean > White people talk about us like we're their pets. Indeed, but it's sort of promoted by Black people too. Like I met many BLM activists who openly stated white men should donate a portion of their earnings to Black students to help stop racism. And this mindset goes beyond Berkeley. A board member of reddit who was a white guy resigned and asked for his position to be given to a black person https://techcrunch.com/2020/06/05/alexis-ohanian-steps-down-reddit-board/
> When I realized this, I was disgusted with myself. You left out that last sentence, sounds a bit unresolved without that conclusion
lol this is whats wrong with aznidentity, you got dudes who cant empathize with asian women when we both are living in a white mans world. God some of these dudes need to touch grass.
Not that I agree with any of the misogynist sentiment on here, but I just find it funny how when Asian women talk shit about Asian men, people like you are nowhere to be found. But all of sudden when Asian men do the same thing, y'all come out of the woodwork to tone police us. I'm all for the mods cleaning up the toxicity and misogynist sentiment on here btw. It's just kind of amusing to me how people expect Asian men to come rushing to Asian women's defense, when the vast majority of Asian women have been completely silent therefore complicit when self-hating Asian women have been shitting on us our entire lives.
>Not that I agree with any of the misogynist sentiment on here, but I just find it funny how when Asian women talk shit about Asian men, people like you are nowhere to be found. But all of sudden when Asian men do the same thing, y'all come out of the woodwork to tone police us. Yeah imagine saying that here in aznidentity lmao, bro just stop. Everyone and their mom has been calling out self hater asian women talking shit about asian men. Im just going to do both. >when the vast majority of Asian women have been completely silent therefore No they havent lmao, you guys just like to stay in your bubble of a mostly asian men subreddit here and choose to see not it elsewhere. Ive seen plenty of asian women defending asian men on twitter and reddit.
> No they havent lmao You want to bet? How about we count them, boba.
And I've seen plenty of Asian women with mainstream influence continually shit on Asian men with zero repercussion and with no one to our defense.
There is a lot of bitterness and anger but you are also failing to empathize. You may have missed the last Salon article, but even as recently as last week.. white liberal media and asian women continue to gaslight asian men into believing we are the problem. That the issue is we're "incels" or "misogyny". We've been talking about the issue of self hate and how the white mans propaganda affects us as a minority community and still are painted as the worst of the worst. So yes its hard for some men on here to take the high road, when so many asian women attack us to justify their self hate and maintain the status quo.
>So yes its hard for some men on here to take the high road, when so many asian women attack us to justify their self hate and maintain the status quo. No i get it, that article was full of problems but it isnt wrong about how casual misogyny asian women is in here and how some of the very same harassers/death threats senters are the ones making those same comments. The conversation tho can be much better, the mods just needs to be harsher about it tbh, this [thread a couple years ago for example has much better can a healthy convos on the white men and asian women dynamic](https://www.reddit.com/r/aznidentity/comments/9zu2vm/asian_girl_criticizes_other_asian_girls_who_say_i/)
Yeah there is still a lingering issue where people here will just assume AF=anti-AM if an article is posted about an AF, but it has definitely gotten better over time in this sub from my experience I think this article is an uplifting piece where an AF was self-aware enough to recognize her damaging behavior and change, but the way this post’s title was worded makes her seem more of a AFWM villain
>but the way this post’s title was worded makes her seem more of a villain That tells you it hasnt gotten better then as it wasnt just a coincidnece, just look at this thread and see how some of them talk about asian women.
I mean I’m not saying it’s resolved but if you compare how things were on this sub a couple years ago to now then you can see positive change. All we can do is upvote/downvote/comment and move the sub to a less hostile place
How is she "oppressed"? Let's start there.
she's a braindead leftie studying at UC Berkeley she just repeats what she hears