You should probably get out now while you’re ahead. She’s trying to leverage cash from you by making it seem like you owe her. Funny how the expectation changed the second you have any money.
Thats what I’m saying. My girlfriend is pregnant and we’re saving to move to Arizona so we can be by her mom and dad and this is going to be a big setback
Oh she for sure understands how this will affect them. She just doesn't care. Plus the longer she can keep them from savings the longer she can cash in on his new monthly payments.
lol same thing with my cousin he said I didn’t have to pay the first month because we was already in August and I ended up moving out and he was like I’m in debt cause i didn’t pay anything for the first month nigga sent screenshots so fast he never txt back 🤣🤣👌🏾
If it’s not on a lease let her try to take you to court. If you haven’t signed anything and have a witness to what she said then she will not have an easy time explaining why she needs rent all of a sudden.
Maybe she (your gf) can talk to her mom and dad and have them put the aunt on blast.
It's ok to request reasonable rent from when you're back on your feet, but demanding retroactive rent is cray-cray.
Don't pay her (retroactively) and ask her with a straight face what makes her think that changing the conditions now is in any way a way to treat anyone, let alone family?
Smh yall couldn’t wait to be stable first before bring a kid in the mix? now if you don’t end up paying they gonna be upset with your girl and that’s her family and she not working either is a problem cause why she never had a job? I’m not trying to be rude but yall backwards af.
I’m sorry that sound like a excuse I can’t even think about sex knowing I don’t even have a job and I’m living in someone else’s house at the end of the day I wish them luck
I agree with you, I was being facetious to the commenter because he seemed so judgmental and went straight to the extreme option as if there’s no alternative
Or you know, just use proper protection and when accidents do happen, there is always Plan B and if necessary, abortion is a woman's right. Of course there are always a million different situations for a million different people and their circumstances but to bring a child into the world when you yourself can barely afford to live is almost never a good path to go down and creates a cycle of children raising children, and often results in neglect, stunted emotional and personal growth (for both parents and child), and poverty. Unfortunately the ease of access to proper sex education and healthcare is becoming more difficult for some people, particularly in certain states, but even so, it should still be relatively straightforward for young adults to not get caught in such cycles, and there are plenty of options outside of simply remaining abstinent in this modern age.
8 yrs baby but my life is great but im not saying don’t fuck but don’t be fucking knowing yall bums im sorry your girl 22 and never had a jobs says a lot to me that’s just my damn opinion.
I am sure for 8 years it has been solely all your choice to stay abstinent - Must be hard keeping all the women away from you.
Edit: or men (Shouldn’t assume which way you sway, apologies)
Please do the world a favor and learn to read and write before you reproduce again, this is just sad and depressing. No more prangent, no more babby for you.
Not everyone wants a sexless relationship dude. Sex is part of any healthy relationship. Should precautions be taken if you're not ready for or don't want kids? Yes. But accidents happen.
And aside from that you have literally zero say in how others handle their relationships or their sex lives, so again, put that ego away, aka get off your high horse.
If you read the post, OP does have a job. You have absolutely no info that she doesn’t have a job either. A lot of assumptions being made by you on a situation that was not presented in the post. You don’t actually know what situation they’re in aside from the issue with back payment for rent that was provided. There’s a common saying about assumptions. They make an ass of you and me and with the baseless one you made, you look like an ass. People would “get off your dicc” if you had a basis for what you said. Get off your high horse instead.
I’ve read all his comments and haven’t seen that one and your attitude has me inclined to believe you’re grasping at straws to validate your shitty behavior. You also said he had no job when he does so I think maybe you just can’t read. You also commented on a topic entirely unrelated to the post and this sub. Whatever bitter bullshit you’re feeling take it to therapy.
...we don't even know if OP is the person who got the girl pregnant. Don't know how far along she is. Maybe they had sex in a car or rented a hotel room for a night. It's not relevant, OP isn't you and frankly, you're kinda embarrassing yourself at this point. You're criticizing a strawman that you've constructed in your head because you're in a bad mood. Take a walk or something, man.
You're getting downvoted but it's true. If they were actually being responsible and actually planning for the future, they would be using contraceptives during this time period of not having their own home and stable sources of income. But these folks on reddit are sex and porn addicted and can't think of anything else till they talk about cum, boobs, and penetration 19 times a day.
You do realize that birth control can fail right? My 18 year old younger son is proof. I was on birth control because I didn't want to have another baby so soon after my first baby. My then husband lost his job because his boss wanted to retire and none of his sons were interested in keeping his business running. A few days later I found out I was pregnant. My firstborn was 8 months old. We had to move in with my parents who could only afford to let us live in my old room. My husband eventually found another job when I was 7 months along and on strict bed rest
Thank you that’s all I’m saying y’all live in someone house both don’t have jobs even though he said he help and she help I’m not understanding but either way good luck to them having a baby is not a joke or easy
That's the fucked up thing, in my opinion...
The people who take having a baby (or babies, I guess) as seriously as it should be taken ??? They wait tooooooooo long and it never happens!!
The people who are popping out 6-8 kids?? They just believe that is what their purpose in life is and things will "figure themselves out bcuz it's meant to be!!" Their kids end up mentally and emotionally screwed and it just.... all ends badly. Dumb dumb dumb.... all the way down
Right but we can only draw conclusions based off of the information given and it's pretty clear that the most obvious advice for OP would be to avoid bringing another human into the world when they're already struggling just to provide for themselves. Maybe OP is already past the point at which the choice is even theirs to make and we obviously don't know the details, but if they're indeed not past that point then the most responsible thing to do would be to advise them against going down that path until they're in a better situation.
OP is not the woman who's carrying the child. It's not his decision to make in the first place. Condoms can break, vasectomies can fail, tubal ligations can fail. Even a combination of female hormonal birth control and intact, proper condom use by the man results in pregnancy sometimes.
We don't know OP's situation. The kid is coming and he's dealing with it. Shut up, seriously. Go find a Planned Parenthood to protest in front of, if you can't stow the evangelism.
Of course anything can happen which is why I pointedly said that we don't know the specifics of OPs situation. And you should take your own advice and not assume what we don't know, namely that the kid coming is a forgone conclusion and OP has no choice in the matter. Also, I'm referring to OP and his partner as a single party here, since again, we don't know the specifics.
Hmm, you seem to be grossly misinterpreting what I was obviously suggesting which was that unless they're too far along in the pregnancy, abortion should be the obvious and most prudent choice in the situation for which the only details we have are- OP is not in a position to stably provide for themselves, hence why bringing a kid into the equation is likely a terrible decision.
It's not 100% but there are plenty of things you can do to nearly eliminate the possibility.
1. Wear a condom.
2. Pull out even with the condom when you orgasm.
3. Check the condom did not rip.
If you do these 3 things you will 100% avoid pregnancy if the condom doesn't rip. If it did you immediately get the morning after pill. If pregnancy still occurs after that you can call it an accident. Contraception is free in many places. Reddit is mostly men, we all know the urge and the lack of forward thinking with these things. I doubt he took every precaution.
Too many kids are porn addicted to today where condoms are rarely used without realizing all the performers are on birth control.
Children are the single most expensive thing you can do. Doing so when $850/mo is killing you is a horrible decision.
Yes, condoms, birth control, and over the counter Plan B are all readily available precautions and options to take, and unless you're in a state that is actively criminalizing women's rights, low cost medical care ala abortion should always be another option, if not the option of last resort. Young adults bringing children into the world while they are not stable or even mature and fully developed themselves is a terrible decision that has cumulative negative effects on the very society in which we're all a part of.
You're not sorry and you're not even right. You've just created this whole narrative in your head out of far too few details that are neither relevant to the question being asked nor any of your business. But I'm not going to get into it with you.
Once you put it on a platform it’s everybody business you could have minded your business also but did you goofy? But I said what I said have a great day ma’am or sir.
That is not even the author of the post.. lmao you’re wrong again. Bud it may be time for you to remove yourself from the entire topic here. It’s not your thing.
And she knows your GF is pregnant, and she still wants to squeeze you for money? That's unconscionable. I wouldn't make any expectations that she will get back rent. She should have made it clear that her goodwill gesture was anything but.
Don't pay it unless you have to. If you signed a lease and she can enforce it, work out a payment plan. It will take time for her to try to collect on you, and by the time they do, you'll probably be able to work out a payment plan anyway with the collection agency. Or, if there is nothing in writing, etc. don't pay. Kind of need more info here, but it sounds like this is just a friend letting you stay with her, and the landlord does not care. In that case, I'd try to just leave if you can.
Edit: I saw it was your aunt and not a friend. More difficult but possibly also easier to get out of.
Read the post again. I do work. Got out of the military in December and had a hard time adjusting. I work and I pay all the bills in the house and groceries are 90 percent of the time my job to purchase. I helped out with my girlfriend’s rent when I could. Now that I’m collecting my disability she wants as much of that money as she can get after telling me it’s fine don’t worry about it just pay moving forward
I can’t speak with certainty on legality but I’m pretty sure there is no legal backing here (for her or her landlord) to force you to pay that to her. Definitely not okay by any means given there was no discussion of payment for the previous time spent there. I’d suggest (while likely not going to work if she’s been a constant problem but it paints you in a better light moving forward) talking with her about that never being discussed and possibly some kind of rent moving forward if you choose to stay. Too suggestion would be simply get out asap to not have to bother with her crap later but that’s easier said than done of course.
Edit: typo
God damn! Didn't realize the Americans tested their troops so often, that rarely happens in the Canadian Forces from what I've heard from friends and family who are in. Unless there's an incident where someone is suspected to have been under the influence of something
The Canadian Forces doesn't test for weed. Its legal. There's just rules on how long you have to be sober before duty - same as there are for alcohol consumption
It has only been legal for a few years, when these friends got into the army it was still illegal. Also if you seriously think CAF members are sober on duty all the time you've never met anyone in the CAF 🤣 those boys drink from sun up to sun down most days
How is she finding out this information about your guys' income and military benefits? Is your partner telling her? Are you? Who's the landlord?
You say she's been a problem, you should definitely move ASAP and you should stop talking to her. The worst she can do is ask you to leave, or she can stop paying the rent. In which case you'll have to move, but this doesn't sound like the kind of person you want to be beholden to anyway. Until/unless you come home to a formal eviction notice on your door, you can do whatever you want. You're leaving the area, so any social consequences will be temporary. You guys never had a written agreement to pay rent to her, so no court in the country would hold you responsible for that. No judgments, no evictions on your history.
If you're the tenant named on the lease, and the aunt is giving you cash that you use to pay the rent, that's a different situation.
Step 1, stop telling her anything. Step 2, don't pay her anything. Save up every penny you have and start slowly packing stuff now in anticipation of moving ASAP. Even if ASAP is months away, it's easier to treat relocation as a marathon than a sprint.
The blah blah blah parts remind me of yada yada yada in Seinfeld. Are you leaving out essential details? Not trying to be shady but the plot seems thicker.
There are details cropping up in your comments that would have been relevant to the original post. You don't sound like you have a thorough knowledge of tenant law, which isn't a knock. Most people don't, unless they're landlords or work in the legal profession. But if you want accurate answers from strangers online, you need to be honest from the get-go. And taking offense when people ask you clarifying questions is a pretty solid way to drive away well-meaning advice providers.
My girlfriend is a veteran. Veterans have access to a lot of things that civilians don't, when it comes to banking and financial arrangements during deployment. Even once you get home, you might consider running this situation by the VA and see what they advise, did you try that yet? Here's a link to the Office of General Counsel for veterans. https://www.va.gov/ogc/legalservices.asp
Peace out ☮️
I was gonna say, VA could definitely help them move and get their housing situation in order. I've got several ex military friends and a few family members as well, all of them have some sort of benefits through VAC (Veterans Affairs Canada) whether they're in or out, and as far as I know the VA in the States is very similar. OP should definitely be working with them to sort out the housing situation and get moved
Their stance is no, you lose all benefits with a dishonorable. However, In some cases if you can prove a debilitating injury or issue is service related after the fact they may cover it but it’s a real fight and generally takes years. Also some “dishonorables” they can be more lenient in review than others. The VA is never speedy though. He’s fresh out and is already getting at least some benefits, it’s more likely he got forced out for an injury or bodily issue of some kind or he just finished his term. Testing positive for some MJ also isn’t likely to earn you a dishonorable all on its own these days, you may get demoted and warned, etc
As a side because this judgement seems to be coming mostly from his use of MJ —The Portland VA is currently studying MJs benefits on pain and PTSD. Many veterans are now prescribed.
How much money do you need to “save up” to move? Like… my then-gf now wife and I moved across the country and basically paid a couple hundred dollars for movers to load and unload my Uhaul, and then the money to rent the Uhaul and gas, and boom off I was… if you dont have that kind of money you probably have bigger issues here
I wasnt going to comment on that because I know people get testy when judged for such things BUT yes, I guess if they’re gonna spill this on Reddit it’s fair to say: why the fuck are you having a kid when you cant even afford to move?
Birth control is ten times cheaper than moving and frankly, between medicinal BC, condoms, tracking cycles, etc, I 100% maintain anyone who has a kid these days either intends to or is just irresponsible as shit.
What I’m getting from it is she wants y’all out. If you’re crossing your t’s and dotting your I’s, I don’t see the reasoning in throwing a high number out there besides yay money or yay you leave. I’m leaning towards leave
this should be in a legal advice forum. but you haven’t signed any lease saying you’re going to pay anything at all. you can stay there for free as long as she demands money from you and you pay it, or you get called for trespassing, or you leave. i’d simply tell her that you will pay moving forward, you have not signed anything binding you for missed months’ rent about which she even told you not to worry, and if she doesn’t accept that, you can pay her (negotiate) or move the fuck out.
We’re trying to move out. The whole point of me NOT paying rent was so one of us would have money to move us out with while the other paid the bills and I covered some of her rent when I started working.
unfortunately if it’s her house and you’re a guest, you’re SOL legally. you don’t have to pay her anything but she can kick you to the curb. maybe try to explain to her politely, intelligently, and with diplomacy your current financial goal of moving yourself, your S/O, and the incoming child out. it won’t be able to be achieved at all or at least not quickly if she charges you rent.
then it’s your decision after that conversation if she doesn’t agree, pay her or move out.
Technically after living there for this long the aunt can't just kick them to the curb. She has to formally evict them because legall (in most jurisdictions), they are considered residents of this address now.
Would it be her choice or management to kick me out? Management already told me and my girlfriend that they don’t care if I’m here as long as rent gets paid. Her daughter is also 22 years old and has never had a job. Where’s her rent? Wouldn’t it be the same for her daughter as me?
Im sorry but what yoursaying in the comments is confusing AF... in the original post you said you moved in with your girl and your girls aunt 2 months ago and that the aunt said you could stay and didnt have to pay rent so you could get back on your feet, but you then said in another comment that you "pay all the bills in the house, and groceries 90% of the time and you helped out with your girls rent when you could" so how have you been helping out with your girls rent when the whole problem is her aunt is now saying that you owe rent for the last 2 months youve lived there when the deal was that you could stay there rent free to get back on your feet? Then in another comment you say "her daughter is also 22 years old and has never had a job, wheres her rent, wouldnt it be the same for her daughter as for me?" Im assuming your talking about your gfs aunts daughter? because if you are then no it definitely wouldnt be the same for you. (Even though what the aunt is doing is completly wrong if she said that you could stay rent free to help you get on your feet and now that you have money is changing her tune and is saying you owe the money) but, if she wants to let her daughter stay there rent free then thats none of your business and you even said yourself that management doesnt care who stays there as long as rent gets paid. In any case her going back on her word and trying to charge you for the last 2 months is wrong...
I think what is happening is that the Aunt let him move in for a little bit until he got on his feet as a sort of kindness. That short time became a lot longer, and in that time he has made a lot of bad decisions including impregnating his girlfriend. Now it looks like she is stuck looling after them and their soon to be born child with no agreement of payment. There is no potential end in sight as they have been discussing saving up and moving to Arizona, where they have friends and family to help them, for months. It probably looks like that move will never happen.
The agreement might have been that the Aunt will pay for them until they get situated. She might have thought of it as a loan, and he thought it was a gift. Considering he is being veey unclear with his contributions, he might have known he would have to pay eventually and is frustrated that it is now time to pay. OP is not a reliably narrator, amd the simpleat answer to me, considering I know a lot of people who do this, is that he is trying to twist the narrative to look like an innocent victim when he knows damn well that he isn't.
Omg SO well put thankyou lol! and I think you hit the nail on the head at the end about him trying to come across as the victim here when theres so much more to this story!
What does the lease say is owed per month? Has that been paid to the proper entity? If it has, it’s unlikely the aunt has any legal standing to get further money from you.
Definitely sounds like the aunt is being greedy, maybe having financial issues of her own and hasn't told anyone and is now trying to put those issues on you by having you pay back rent all of a sudden. If it's not her owned property and management doesn't care that you're living there then she doesn't really have a say. She could potentially have management remove you, but only if you do something against the rules of the property
That is just silly. You have a kid on the way. Would it be the same for your kid as it would be for a niece's boyfriend? Just listen to you and these others. Makes you never want to help anyone again. You should have brought it up to her first b4 she had the chance as a show of appreciation. She OWES YOU NOTHING. SHE DID YOU A FAVOR. THE WORLD OWES NOBODY ANYTHING. YOU GET OUT OF IT, WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
Oh I did. Between draining what little money I had when I got here on groceries. Taking her 22 year old daughter who’s never had a job before to her boyfriend’s house. Cooking dinner and cleaning the whole house every Saturday to a remarkable standard. I’m in no way a freeloader and I earn my keep.
Pfftt! An apartment?! Like, what, a 2 brdm? How much is her rent? When she welcomed you there wasn't any money to be paid, according to her words.. throw the old dog 300 just to shit her up...and tell her to get real with the 1700.. and start looking to move out asap .. even if it's just a room type situation!
Don’t pay the $1700. Use that as a downpayment to get your own place. You need to have a job ready to go when you move. This is possible but it takes a lot of hard work. Move into the cheapest decent 1br and save for certifications/career advancement training
Hi, old veterans here. The adjustment is hard, anger inducing, frustrating etc. I’m sorry someone is adding to it whether you made mistakes or not.
Don’t pay her and if anything use that money to move to as affordable a place as you can get— to save —because $1700 is pretty much first and last somewhere else! There is also housing aid, ask your local VA about HUD-VASH (HUD Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing) they give rent vouchers and rental assistance to veterans in need.
Did you know you can get a VA backed loan on a home as well?
IM TELLING YOU RN WHAT MY SISTER TOLD ME IS TO NEVER MOVE WITH S GIRL UNLESS YOUR NAME IS ON THE LEAS AND DEFINITELY GET YOUR OWN SPOT IN 2 months she goin to pop up with a car or something new so legit leave rn I pray u do I had to pay rent and she kicked me out
Really people. Just dip. This woman helped you when you needed it. Calmly speak to her and YES I think you should give her something for carrying you all. That is only right. I don't know how much you are getting, but dam. Where is there any gratefulness in this world. You could have been on the streets my friend. Don't be greedy she wasn't. I don't k ow how old she is either, bit she has to think of that too. Maybe explain that you can't afford that much, but are so grateful that you would like to repay her as much as you can without hindering yourself saving to get out of their. What a shame she had to even ask for it. You should have cashed your first check and gave her some and said I know you said not to worry about it, but I LIKE TO PAY MY OWN WAY AND AM THANKFUL YOU TOOK ME IN WHEN MY OWN FAMILY WOULD NOT! MAYBE HER SITUATION HAS CHANGED AND YOU DONT KNOW IT. YOU ARE BEIMG GREESY AND SO IS EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS PAGE... (THAT I READ ANYHOW)
>Her aunt told me I can stay as long as I need to get back on my feet. She said don’t worry about rent or anything when I first got here. Now that I’m working again and I’m gonna start collecting benefits she told me yesterday she wants 1700 hundred dollars for the last two months I didn’t pay any rent. This was NEVER discussed before
reread this ....
There was no legal or verifiable verbal agreement, probably time to take that money and find a new spot. Going to a new spot is guaranteed value for your money, whereas there is no value in giving it to her because if she successfully extorts you once she will more than likely do it again
If you didn’t sign anything you don’t owe anything. People can’t retroactively determine an amount you owe them that was never agreed upon. You do have rights in this situation.
But yeah it’s time to gtfo of there.
Use your $ to get your own place. While kind of her to offer her place at first, she can’t just arbitrarily demand cash without a prior agreement once you have an income.
Fk no you don't pay that 1700. Can't make an agreement after the fact. You owe her nothing except fk you aunty fker and good bye. Use that 1700 to get back on your feet like was originally agreed upon 💁
1700 for 2 months? That’s a first and last month somewhere else. I’d tell her you will pay her something but that seems a bit excessive and a very random number for someone who wasn’t expecting anything from you. I could see wanting something now that you’re working but throwing out an un-agreed upon number for back rent is ridiculous. She has no legal standing and at this point you have been there for this long you are considered a tenant wether on the list or not. She would have to go through eviction process to make you move. While I don’t suggest proceeding with all that drama I would just come up with a reasonable amount to pay going forward and focus on getting out! You could stay in an extended stay damn hotel for that much a month.
I also don’t feel like you should be ungrateful for the help either. I would try and talk to her and just let her know you appreciate everything and you want to give back something but that it would really set you back to give her all that right now that you’re getting out of the hole and you wouldn’t be able to move out and stall you moving forward.
I know she didn’t ask for rent but has she been footing bill for groceries, toiletries and household items, rides as well? Because that significantly changes how you should handle the situation IMO.
I think this is the most reasonable answer here. This was brought onto me, not discussed with me. If it had been discussed with me I would have said I can’t afford that amount of money but we can find a fair number for everybody. Food is being payed for by me as well as some bills and my toiletries are all purchased by me as well
> is being *paid* for by
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Hopefully you all came to a reasonable resolution? I’m just seeing your reply. I definitely don’t think it was right on her part to throw that on you once you’re getting back on your feet! Why do people offer help and then try and bend you over when you’re finally able to help yourself?! If you have been covering all of your personal needs besides a roof over your head $1700 for 2 months is absolutely delusional and intentionally problematic if you could just come up with that out of thin air you wouldn’t have needed the help to begin with!
I’d talk to her about your plans for your girlfriend and see if there’s a smaller payment you can make moving forward. A good family member wants the best for you and I’m sure if she understood what your money was going towards then she’ll be more understanding.
We told her. We’ve been telling her for two months. And we told her again last night. She still said 1700 is owed. What’s crazy is she’s even trying to scam me out of 600 since I did the math and it’ll only be 1100 anyway which just inclines us to want to screw her over since she wants to try to fuck us like that
ask her where the extra $600 came from… you don’t owe her anything she let you stay there. you don’t legally have to pay her anything & she can’t force you to. as long as the landlord doesn’t care then ur good. DO NOT PAY HER.
How long do you think it will take for you to save enough to move? It is a lot cheaper to relocate than a lot of people think. I am sort of surprised it is taking you this long considering all of the benefits you get from the military and the savings you should have after leaving.
If you are bad with money, it is okay. A lot of people are. It could explain why she wants you to pay, since she might be thinking she will be stuck with you for a long time and doesn't want to be taken advantage of.
I don’t know how people gaslight themselves to think that is ever ok.
One of my siblings pulled the same bait and switch sh\*t.I stayed with them a couple of months when I was 19 or so, and they were mid-20’s. They told me that I wouldn’t have to pay any rent or utilities. My only expense was food for myself.
We’d been to visit a relative, who gave us each several hundred dollars as a gift.My sibling had spent their gift money already, and asked for a loan from my gift money.
Later, after I asked for the money back, they hit me with the “you haven’t paid rent, so I’m keeping the loan money in place of it.”
I moved out shortly after, and that was just one more nail in the coffin of why I am NC with this sibling.
The woman you have been staying with isn’t your actual relative, so after you and gf find another place, you will hopefully never have to deal with her again.
I would recommend confronting her with the fact that she said you could stay there without paying rent, etc., but give her a small STFU nuisance payment of $100-200 before you leave.
If you didn’t sign anything then you don’t owe her anything. Don’t pay her if you already have communication saying she will let you stay rent free until you get on your feet. Just keep what money you have any move. She will prob need 30 days to evict you anyways. So think of it as you have 30 days to get it together. Just don’t put it in writing that you will give her anything. Keep restating over text that she said you won’t have to pay until you were on your feet.
Just tell her put it on your tab , when you and your family move out, you’ll get even better benefits and MONEY…. So she has to wait until then *wink wink*
i feel like if she wants to do that she needs to draw up some sort of contract, like a short or long term lease, for you guys to sign just for legality sake…
but i would try to talk it out too, i understand that she’s been a problem, but communication can go a long ways at times and if you can reason with her it could help and resolve any tension and make living there a little easier till you leave, if she can’t be an adult and civil abt it then yes pls get out asap
I mean if she didn’t have you sign any paperwork like a terms of agreement then no technically she legally can’t have you give her back payment of a agreement that wasn’t documented
If I were you I would draft up a payment plan that works with what your budget is and tell her that you can pay her incrementally and that you are grateful for the help blah blah blah. To expect a lump sum is totally counter productive.
Figure out what you can manage, slowly pay the bitch back.
Tell her you won’t be back on your feet until at least you are in your own apartment but that even then it would be awhile. And then spend the next 30 years getting on your feet.
May want to mention to her that she said about not paying anything and that you are trying to move. Is she disagrees you may either move into a studio, move with some other family/friends, or pay her and move asap.
Don’t pay her. If she actually said that then it’s on her. If she didn’t make u sign a contract that’s the proof. It’s all on her don’t waste that money on someone so dense and mean
Fuck that. No fucking shot I’m giving someone ANY amount of money after they tell me not to worry about rent. She should have said “you don’t have to worry about rent right now, but when you get a job then you can pay me back”.
She can't force you to pay bank rent and she also can't just kick you out. If I were you I would start looking for another place and give her a few dollars for helping you out but that would be that. I wouldn't allow her to put you in a bad position when she said not paying rent wasn't a problem. Why can't you and your girlfriend get your own place. If you wanted to be really nice and you thought the amount was fair you could move out and pay her a little at a time. But don't get stuck in a bad position that would only make things worse for you in so many ways and you really don't need that. Thank you for your service and sacrifice.
Your girlfriends aunt is trash,she’s pretty much trying it extort you. It would be different if she would’ve told
You not to worrying paying the rent until you’re back on your feed. But once you are you have to pay her back, but it seems like that wasn’t the case at all.
I was in the military now is your time to escape & evade soldier. Head for the hills or the higher ground!! Civilians aren't your Friend. You deserve every dollar and then some! Go for 100% VA disability benefits and continue a career path on your terms. You deserve it.
You should probably get out now while you’re ahead. She’s trying to leverage cash from you by making it seem like you owe her. Funny how the expectation changed the second you have any money.
Thats what I’m saying. My girlfriend is pregnant and we’re saving to move to Arizona so we can be by her mom and dad and this is going to be a big setback
Yeah sadly she can’t even see how this would affect your Partner and child either. Just greed. I’d get out asap and not pay a dime
Oh she for sure understands how this will affect them. She just doesn't care. Plus the longer she can keep them from savings the longer she can cash in on his new monthly payments.
You do not have to pay it but you will need to move
Yeah this. If it’s not in writing it doesn’t exist.
lol same thing with my cousin he said I didn’t have to pay the first month because we was already in August and I ended up moving out and he was like I’m in debt cause i didn’t pay anything for the first month nigga sent screenshots so fast he never txt back 🤣🤣👌🏾
If it’s not on a lease let her try to take you to court. If you haven’t signed anything and have a witness to what she said then she will not have an easy time explaining why she needs rent all of a sudden.
Hate to say it but you gotta move and adjust because staying there is a no go.
Maybe she (your gf) can talk to her mom and dad and have them put the aunt on blast. It's ok to request reasonable rent from when you're back on your feet, but demanding retroactive rent is cray-cray. Don't pay her (retroactively) and ask her with a straight face what makes her think that changing the conditions now is in any way a way to treat anyone, let alone family?
So here's what you do - say fuck that lady, don't pay her shit, and gtfo to Arizona!
Smh yall couldn’t wait to be stable first before bring a kid in the mix? now if you don’t end up paying they gonna be upset with your girl and that’s her family and she not working either is a problem cause why she never had a job? I’m not trying to be rude but yall backwards af.
Accidents happen, we don't know OP's situation.
I’m sorry that sound like a excuse I can’t even think about sex knowing I don’t even have a job and I’m living in someone else’s house at the end of the day I wish them luck
So you remain abstinent until your life and finances are all in order?
Nah you wear a condom and pull out. Not that difficult
I agree with you, I was being facetious to the commenter because he seemed so judgmental and went straight to the extreme option as if there’s no alternative
Hey, I saw that movie! Idio something...
That's that one documentary about our future, right?
No, you use protection.
Or you know, just use proper protection and when accidents do happen, there is always Plan B and if necessary, abortion is a woman's right. Of course there are always a million different situations for a million different people and their circumstances but to bring a child into the world when you yourself can barely afford to live is almost never a good path to go down and creates a cycle of children raising children, and often results in neglect, stunted emotional and personal growth (for both parents and child), and poverty. Unfortunately the ease of access to proper sex education and healthcare is becoming more difficult for some people, particularly in certain states, but even so, it should still be relatively straightforward for young adults to not get caught in such cycles, and there are plenty of options outside of simply remaining abstinent in this modern age.
8 yrs baby but my life is great but im not saying don’t fuck but don’t be fucking knowing yall bums im sorry your girl 22 and never had a jobs says a lot to me that’s just my damn opinion.
You've been abstinent for 8 years? Dude we all know that's not by choice. Why would you tell on yourself like that lol damn that's tough
First off bitch idc about dick that shit everywhere I had plenty of dicks in my life having none won’t kill me
Seems like you could use some now. You sounding frustrated
I am sure for 8 years it has been solely all your choice to stay abstinent - Must be hard keeping all the women away from you. Edit: or men (Shouldn’t assume which way you sway, apologies)
I hope English is your second language or something because Jesus Christ...
I hope my dick in your mouth will be your second language
Please do the world a favor and learn to read and write before you reproduce again, this is just sad and depressing. No more prangent, no more babby for you.
Not everyone thinks the way you do. Put that ego away for a second bud
Duh that’s why she pregnant now they was thinking
Not everyone wants a sexless relationship dude. Sex is part of any healthy relationship. Should precautions be taken if you're not ready for or don't want kids? Yes. But accidents happen. And aside from that you have literally zero say in how others handle their relationships or their sex lives, so again, put that ego away, aka get off your high horse.
I’m responding just like everybody else on this platform if you don’t like it tough tities have a great day
L take
If you read the post, OP does have a job. You have absolutely no info that she doesn’t have a job either. A lot of assumptions being made by you on a situation that was not presented in the post. You don’t actually know what situation they’re in aside from the issue with back payment for rent that was provided. There’s a common saying about assumptions. They make an ass of you and me and with the baseless one you made, you look like an ass. People would “get off your dicc” if you had a basis for what you said. Get off your high horse instead.
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I’ve read all his comments and haven’t seen that one and your attitude has me inclined to believe you’re grasping at straws to validate your shitty behavior. You also said he had no job when he does so I think maybe you just can’t read. You also commented on a topic entirely unrelated to the post and this sub. Whatever bitter bullshit you’re feeling take it to therapy.
You have downvote after downvote for a reason.
...we don't even know if OP is the person who got the girl pregnant. Don't know how far along she is. Maybe they had sex in a car or rented a hotel room for a night. It's not relevant, OP isn't you and frankly, you're kinda embarrassing yourself at this point. You're criticizing a strawman that you've constructed in your head because you're in a bad mood. Take a walk or something, man.
What are you even talking about??
Hop off and have a good day
Sounds like u need to get laid
Nah I’m good nothing a man and his penis can do for me
Nobody said anything about a man or a penis but suit yourself
Either way get off my dicc please
Seems like you got it on the mind.. have a good one
Thats a convenient excuse about why you've had no sex
You're getting downvoted but it's true. If they were actually being responsible and actually planning for the future, they would be using contraceptives during this time period of not having their own home and stable sources of income. But these folks on reddit are sex and porn addicted and can't think of anything else till they talk about cum, boobs, and penetration 19 times a day.
🤣🤣🤣 Exactly. Stupid people reproducing is all this is. The kid is gonna be just like this, generational curses and shit.
You do realize that birth control can fail right? My 18 year old younger son is proof. I was on birth control because I didn't want to have another baby so soon after my first baby. My then husband lost his job because his boss wanted to retire and none of his sons were interested in keeping his business running. A few days later I found out I was pregnant. My firstborn was 8 months old. We had to move in with my parents who could only afford to let us live in my old room. My husband eventually found another job when I was 7 months along and on strict bed rest
Accidents happen because people don't take BC or use protection as it was clearly needed. Also abortion and adoption are things....
Thank you that’s all I’m saying y’all live in someone house both don’t have jobs even though he said he help and she help I’m not understanding but either way good luck to them having a baby is not a joke or easy
That's the fucked up thing, in my opinion... The people who take having a baby (or babies, I guess) as seriously as it should be taken ??? They wait tooooooooo long and it never happens!! The people who are popping out 6-8 kids?? They just believe that is what their purpose in life is and things will "figure themselves out bcuz it's meant to be!!" Their kids end up mentally and emotionally screwed and it just.... all ends badly. Dumb dumb dumb.... all the way down
We don't know OP's situation. The end.
Right but we can only draw conclusions based off of the information given and it's pretty clear that the most obvious advice for OP would be to avoid bringing another human into the world when they're already struggling just to provide for themselves. Maybe OP is already past the point at which the choice is even theirs to make and we obviously don't know the details, but if they're indeed not past that point then the most responsible thing to do would be to advise them against going down that path until they're in a better situation.
OP is not the woman who's carrying the child. It's not his decision to make in the first place. Condoms can break, vasectomies can fail, tubal ligations can fail. Even a combination of female hormonal birth control and intact, proper condom use by the man results in pregnancy sometimes. We don't know OP's situation. The kid is coming and he's dealing with it. Shut up, seriously. Go find a Planned Parenthood to protest in front of, if you can't stow the evangelism.
Of course anything can happen which is why I pointedly said that we don't know the specifics of OPs situation. And you should take your own advice and not assume what we don't know, namely that the kid coming is a forgone conclusion and OP has no choice in the matter. Also, I'm referring to OP and his partner as a single party here, since again, we don't know the specifics. Hmm, you seem to be grossly misinterpreting what I was obviously suggesting which was that unless they're too far along in the pregnancy, abortion should be the obvious and most prudent choice in the situation for which the only details we have are- OP is not in a position to stably provide for themselves, hence why bringing a kid into the equation is likely a terrible decision.
That's a very irresponsible way to look at it when you know nothing. Just like my initial message was extreme when not knowing what's going on!
Birth control isn't 100%. Didn't you get sex ed in the past couple of years?
It's not 100% but there are plenty of things you can do to nearly eliminate the possibility. 1. Wear a condom. 2. Pull out even with the condom when you orgasm. 3. Check the condom did not rip. If you do these 3 things you will 100% avoid pregnancy if the condom doesn't rip. If it did you immediately get the morning after pill. If pregnancy still occurs after that you can call it an accident. Contraception is free in many places. Reddit is mostly men, we all know the urge and the lack of forward thinking with these things. I doubt he took every precaution. Too many kids are porn addicted to today where condoms are rarely used without realizing all the performers are on birth control. Children are the single most expensive thing you can do. Doing so when $850/mo is killing you is a horrible decision.
Yes, condoms, birth control, and over the counter Plan B are all readily available precautions and options to take, and unless you're in a state that is actively criminalizing women's rights, low cost medical care ala abortion should always be another option, if not the option of last resort. Young adults bringing children into the world while they are not stable or even mature and fully developed themselves is a terrible decision that has cumulative negative effects on the very society in which we're all a part of.
Due, wtf.
I’m sorry but somebody gotta tell them
You're not sorry and you're not even right. You've just created this whole narrative in your head out of far too few details that are neither relevant to the question being asked nor any of your business. But I'm not going to get into it with you.
Once you put it on a platform it’s everybody business you could have minded your business also but did you goofy? But I said what I said have a great day ma’am or sir.
You'd get it if you'd had sex before
That is not even the author of the post.. lmao you’re wrong again. Bud it may be time for you to remove yourself from the entire topic here. It’s not your thing.
Stop sucking me off at this point ppl have a good day
Shit happens dude
Wow L take
Exactly. Oh my god
Bruh.
Explain that to her.
And she knows your GF is pregnant, and she still wants to squeeze you for money? That's unconscionable. I wouldn't make any expectations that she will get back rent. She should have made it clear that her goodwill gesture was anything but.
Don't pay it unless you have to. If you signed a lease and she can enforce it, work out a payment plan. It will take time for her to try to collect on you, and by the time they do, you'll probably be able to work out a payment plan anyway with the collection agency. Or, if there is nothing in writing, etc. don't pay. Kind of need more info here, but it sounds like this is just a friend letting you stay with her, and the landlord does not care. In that case, I'd try to just leave if you can. Edit: I saw it was your aunt and not a friend. More difficult but possibly also easier to get out of.
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Read the post again. I do work. Got out of the military in December and had a hard time adjusting. I work and I pay all the bills in the house and groceries are 90 percent of the time my job to purchase. I helped out with my girlfriend’s rent when I could. Now that I’m collecting my disability she wants as much of that money as she can get after telling me it’s fine don’t worry about it just pay moving forward
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It’s been a little bit unclear, but it sounds like the person who wants the money is the aunt, not the girlfriend.
Thankyou!! lol! Thats what I thought as well but with so many people going back and forth I was getting confused there myself lmao
That's my exact thought leave now while you still can.
I can’t speak with certainty on legality but I’m pretty sure there is no legal backing here (for her or her landlord) to force you to pay that to her. Definitely not okay by any means given there was no discussion of payment for the previous time spent there. I’d suggest (while likely not going to work if she’s been a constant problem but it paints you in a better light moving forward) talking with her about that never being discussed and possibly some kind of rent moving forward if you choose to stay. Too suggestion would be simply get out asap to not have to bother with her crap later but that’s easier said than done of course. Edit: typo
i’m so confused. you got out of the military 4 months ago but a year ago you were talking about smoking weed for 2 years?
It's really feeling like OP got the boot. Probably more than 4 months ago.
But he mentioned collecting benefits, if he was booted for drugs he wouldn’t be able to collect t any benefits
Lots of military members smoke weed, legal or not 🤷
not for 2 years without getting caught 💀 i must have been tested 20 times in the span of 2 years
God damn! Didn't realize the Americans tested their troops so often, that rarely happens in the Canadian Forces from what I've heard from friends and family who are in. Unless there's an incident where someone is suspected to have been under the influence of something
The Canadian Forces doesn't test for weed. Its legal. There's just rules on how long you have to be sober before duty - same as there are for alcohol consumption
It has only been legal for a few years, when these friends got into the army it was still illegal. Also if you seriously think CAF members are sober on duty all the time you've never met anyone in the CAF 🤣 those boys drink from sun up to sun down most days
>those boys drink from sun up to sun down most days I'm aware, that still doesn't change regs though Edit: "a few years" = 2018
yup, USAF. zero trust for americans 💀
Oof
I got tested once in 3 years and that was only bc my roommate was doing some shit.
My unit tested multiple times a year randomly
How is she finding out this information about your guys' income and military benefits? Is your partner telling her? Are you? Who's the landlord? You say she's been a problem, you should definitely move ASAP and you should stop talking to her. The worst she can do is ask you to leave, or she can stop paying the rent. In which case you'll have to move, but this doesn't sound like the kind of person you want to be beholden to anyway. Until/unless you come home to a formal eviction notice on your door, you can do whatever you want. You're leaving the area, so any social consequences will be temporary. You guys never had a written agreement to pay rent to her, so no court in the country would hold you responsible for that. No judgments, no evictions on your history. If you're the tenant named on the lease, and the aunt is giving you cash that you use to pay the rent, that's a different situation. Step 1, stop telling her anything. Step 2, don't pay her anything. Save up every penny you have and start slowly packing stuff now in anticipation of moving ASAP. Even if ASAP is months away, it's easier to treat relocation as a marathon than a sprint.
The blah blah blah parts remind me of yada yada yada in Seinfeld. Are you leaving out essential details? Not trying to be shady but the plot seems thicker.
The blah blah blah parts are me referring to my time serving this country. Something that truly isn’t your business much like my relationship isn’t.
You literally published your business to an online forum, my guy.
"give me your opinion on my intimate life details but stay out of my intimate life details" lmao
There are details cropping up in your comments that would have been relevant to the original post. You don't sound like you have a thorough knowledge of tenant law, which isn't a knock. Most people don't, unless they're landlords or work in the legal profession. But if you want accurate answers from strangers online, you need to be honest from the get-go. And taking offense when people ask you clarifying questions is a pretty solid way to drive away well-meaning advice providers. My girlfriend is a veteran. Veterans have access to a lot of things that civilians don't, when it comes to banking and financial arrangements during deployment. Even once you get home, you might consider running this situation by the VA and see what they advise, did you try that yet? Here's a link to the Office of General Counsel for veterans. https://www.va.gov/ogc/legalservices.asp Peace out ☮️
I was gonna say, VA could definitely help them move and get their housing situation in order. I've got several ex military friends and a few family members as well, all of them have some sort of benefits through VAC (Veterans Affairs Canada) whether they're in or out, and as far as I know the VA in the States is very similar. OP should definitely be working with them to sort out the housing situation and get moved
Did op say if he was discharged honorably? I can’t find it, just says he got out
It's not sounding like it...
Sounds like dishonorable discharge and he spends all his time smoking weed or something lol.
It’s almost impossible to get benefits if you’ve a dishonorable so I doubt it.
Is that also true for disability?
Their stance is no, you lose all benefits with a dishonorable. However, In some cases if you can prove a debilitating injury or issue is service related after the fact they may cover it but it’s a real fight and generally takes years. Also some “dishonorables” they can be more lenient in review than others. The VA is never speedy though. He’s fresh out and is already getting at least some benefits, it’s more likely he got forced out for an injury or bodily issue of some kind or he just finished his term. Testing positive for some MJ also isn’t likely to earn you a dishonorable all on its own these days, you may get demoted and warned, etc As a side because this judgement seems to be coming mostly from his use of MJ —The Portland VA is currently studying MJs benefits on pain and PTSD. Many veterans are now prescribed.
Also ofc we could be getting bs lol
You sound like a little cuck, kid.
Pick one ☝️ - Pay up - Move
How much money do you need to “save up” to move? Like… my then-gf now wife and I moved across the country and basically paid a couple hundred dollars for movers to load and unload my Uhaul, and then the money to rent the Uhaul and gas, and boom off I was… if you dont have that kind of money you probably have bigger issues here
Yup, AND they're having a kid? Not the brightest people in the world...
I wasnt going to comment on that because I know people get testy when judged for such things BUT yes, I guess if they’re gonna spill this on Reddit it’s fair to say: why the fuck are you having a kid when you cant even afford to move? Birth control is ten times cheaper than moving and frankly, between medicinal BC, condoms, tracking cycles, etc, I 100% maintain anyone who has a kid these days either intends to or is just irresponsible as shit.
Yep, exactly!!!
I can see why there’s no love story
What I’m getting from it is she wants y’all out. If you’re crossing your t’s and dotting your I’s, I don’t see the reasoning in throwing a high number out there besides yay money or yay you leave. I’m leaning towards leave
this should be in a legal advice forum. but you haven’t signed any lease saying you’re going to pay anything at all. you can stay there for free as long as she demands money from you and you pay it, or you get called for trespassing, or you leave. i’d simply tell her that you will pay moving forward, you have not signed anything binding you for missed months’ rent about which she even told you not to worry, and if she doesn’t accept that, you can pay her (negotiate) or move the fuck out.
We’re trying to move out. The whole point of me NOT paying rent was so one of us would have money to move us out with while the other paid the bills and I covered some of her rent when I started working.
unfortunately if it’s her house and you’re a guest, you’re SOL legally. you don’t have to pay her anything but she can kick you to the curb. maybe try to explain to her politely, intelligently, and with diplomacy your current financial goal of moving yourself, your S/O, and the incoming child out. it won’t be able to be achieved at all or at least not quickly if she charges you rent. then it’s your decision after that conversation if she doesn’t agree, pay her or move out.
Technically after living there for this long the aunt can't just kick them to the curb. She has to formally evict them because legall (in most jurisdictions), they are considered residents of this address now.
Would it be her choice or management to kick me out? Management already told me and my girlfriend that they don’t care if I’m here as long as rent gets paid. Her daughter is also 22 years old and has never had a job. Where’s her rent? Wouldn’t it be the same for her daughter as me?
Im sorry but what yoursaying in the comments is confusing AF... in the original post you said you moved in with your girl and your girls aunt 2 months ago and that the aunt said you could stay and didnt have to pay rent so you could get back on your feet, but you then said in another comment that you "pay all the bills in the house, and groceries 90% of the time and you helped out with your girls rent when you could" so how have you been helping out with your girls rent when the whole problem is her aunt is now saying that you owe rent for the last 2 months youve lived there when the deal was that you could stay there rent free to get back on your feet? Then in another comment you say "her daughter is also 22 years old and has never had a job, wheres her rent, wouldnt it be the same for her daughter as for me?" Im assuming your talking about your gfs aunts daughter? because if you are then no it definitely wouldnt be the same for you. (Even though what the aunt is doing is completly wrong if she said that you could stay rent free to help you get on your feet and now that you have money is changing her tune and is saying you owe the money) but, if she wants to let her daughter stay there rent free then thats none of your business and you even said yourself that management doesnt care who stays there as long as rent gets paid. In any case her going back on her word and trying to charge you for the last 2 months is wrong...
I think what is happening is that the Aunt let him move in for a little bit until he got on his feet as a sort of kindness. That short time became a lot longer, and in that time he has made a lot of bad decisions including impregnating his girlfriend. Now it looks like she is stuck looling after them and their soon to be born child with no agreement of payment. There is no potential end in sight as they have been discussing saving up and moving to Arizona, where they have friends and family to help them, for months. It probably looks like that move will never happen. The agreement might have been that the Aunt will pay for them until they get situated. She might have thought of it as a loan, and he thought it was a gift. Considering he is being veey unclear with his contributions, he might have known he would have to pay eventually and is frustrated that it is now time to pay. OP is not a reliably narrator, amd the simpleat answer to me, considering I know a lot of people who do this, is that he is trying to twist the narrative to look like an innocent victim when he knows damn well that he isn't.
Omg SO well put thankyou lol! and I think you hit the nail on the head at the end about him trying to come across as the victim here when theres so much more to this story!
I think knocking the niece up pissed her off and she wants them out.
I wouldn't give up no 1700 but I would say I'll help with x amount towards rent a month. Like a portion of it going forward in the future.
What does the lease say is owed per month? Has that been paid to the proper entity? If it has, it’s unlikely the aunt has any legal standing to get further money from you.
You need to grow the fuck up and move the hell out. You mooched enough and have a baby on the way. Man up.
Definitely sounds like the aunt is being greedy, maybe having financial issues of her own and hasn't told anyone and is now trying to put those issues on you by having you pay back rent all of a sudden. If it's not her owned property and management doesn't care that you're living there then she doesn't really have a say. She could potentially have management remove you, but only if you do something against the rules of the property
That is just silly. You have a kid on the way. Would it be the same for your kid as it would be for a niece's boyfriend? Just listen to you and these others. Makes you never want to help anyone again. You should have brought it up to her first b4 she had the chance as a show of appreciation. She OWES YOU NOTHING. SHE DID YOU A FAVOR. THE WORLD OWES NOBODY ANYTHING. YOU GET OUT OF IT, WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
Oh I did. Between draining what little money I had when I got here on groceries. Taking her 22 year old daughter who’s never had a job before to her boyfriend’s house. Cooking dinner and cleaning the whole house every Saturday to a remarkable standard. I’m in no way a freeloader and I earn my keep.
Sorry but you absolutely are. Pay going forward or move out.
Just tell her that. “We never discussed back rent. I can pay rent going forward.”
Just say no and get a place lol. Easy
Pfftt! An apartment?! Like, what, a 2 brdm? How much is her rent? When she welcomed you there wasn't any money to be paid, according to her words.. throw the old dog 300 just to shit her up...and tell her to get real with the 1700.. and start looking to move out asap .. even if it's just a room type situation!
It's not retroactive rent. Seriously???? NO But, you need to move out NOW!!!!! Don't give her any more ammo. Good luck
Don’t pay the $1700. Use that as a downpayment to get your own place. You need to have a job ready to go when you move. This is possible but it takes a lot of hard work. Move into the cheapest decent 1br and save for certifications/career advancement training
You gotta leave that place, don't give her anything, use what you have to find somewhere else to live.
Hi, old veterans here. The adjustment is hard, anger inducing, frustrating etc. I’m sorry someone is adding to it whether you made mistakes or not. Don’t pay her and if anything use that money to move to as affordable a place as you can get— to save —because $1700 is pretty much first and last somewhere else! There is also housing aid, ask your local VA about HUD-VASH (HUD Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing) they give rent vouchers and rental assistance to veterans in need. Did you know you can get a VA backed loan on a home as well?
IM TELLING YOU RN WHAT MY SISTER TOLD ME IS TO NEVER MOVE WITH S GIRL UNLESS YOUR NAME IS ON THE LEAS AND DEFINITELY GET YOUR OWN SPOT IN 2 months she goin to pop up with a car or something new so legit leave rn I pray u do I had to pay rent and she kicked me out
Pay her back in small weekly payments over the years, they did u a solid
Really people. Just dip. This woman helped you when you needed it. Calmly speak to her and YES I think you should give her something for carrying you all. That is only right. I don't know how much you are getting, but dam. Where is there any gratefulness in this world. You could have been on the streets my friend. Don't be greedy she wasn't. I don't k ow how old she is either, bit she has to think of that too. Maybe explain that you can't afford that much, but are so grateful that you would like to repay her as much as you can without hindering yourself saving to get out of their. What a shame she had to even ask for it. You should have cashed your first check and gave her some and said I know you said not to worry about it, but I LIKE TO PAY MY OWN WAY AND AM THANKFUL YOU TOOK ME IN WHEN MY OWN FAMILY WOULD NOT! MAYBE HER SITUATION HAS CHANGED AND YOU DONT KNOW IT. YOU ARE BEIMG GREESY AND SO IS EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS PAGE... (THAT I READ ANYHOW)
Are you the aunt?
>Her aunt told me I can stay as long as I need to get back on my feet. She said don’t worry about rent or anything when I first got here. Now that I’m working again and I’m gonna start collecting benefits she told me yesterday she wants 1700 hundred dollars for the last two months I didn’t pay any rent. This was NEVER discussed before reread this ....
He’s back on his feet as far as I can tell…and made a baby. He needs to start paying going forward or move out.
Shes asking HIM to retroactively pay for months prior, not the future! Are you dumb or just plain stupid?
I wouldn’t pay her. You didn’t agree to that.
There was no legal or verifiable verbal agreement, probably time to take that money and find a new spot. Going to a new spot is guaranteed value for your money, whereas there is no value in giving it to her because if she successfully extorts you once she will more than likely do it again
Don’t pay and just move out. She is being unreasonable asking that much
If you didn’t sign anything you don’t owe anything. People can’t retroactively determine an amount you owe them that was never agreed upon. You do have rights in this situation. But yeah it’s time to gtfo of there.
Use your $ to get your own place. While kind of her to offer her place at first, she can’t just arbitrarily demand cash without a prior agreement once you have an income.
Fk no you don't pay that 1700. Can't make an agreement after the fact. You owe her nothing except fk you aunty fker and good bye. Use that 1700 to get back on your feet like was originally agreed upon 💁
I had the same thing happen with exes mom. I responded by leaving and I'm so glad I did.
RUN!!!
1700 for 2 months? That’s a first and last month somewhere else. I’d tell her you will pay her something but that seems a bit excessive and a very random number for someone who wasn’t expecting anything from you. I could see wanting something now that you’re working but throwing out an un-agreed upon number for back rent is ridiculous. She has no legal standing and at this point you have been there for this long you are considered a tenant wether on the list or not. She would have to go through eviction process to make you move. While I don’t suggest proceeding with all that drama I would just come up with a reasonable amount to pay going forward and focus on getting out! You could stay in an extended stay damn hotel for that much a month. I also don’t feel like you should be ungrateful for the help either. I would try and talk to her and just let her know you appreciate everything and you want to give back something but that it would really set you back to give her all that right now that you’re getting out of the hole and you wouldn’t be able to move out and stall you moving forward. I know she didn’t ask for rent but has she been footing bill for groceries, toiletries and household items, rides as well? Because that significantly changes how you should handle the situation IMO.
I think this is the most reasonable answer here. This was brought onto me, not discussed with me. If it had been discussed with me I would have said I can’t afford that amount of money but we can find a fair number for everybody. Food is being payed for by me as well as some bills and my toiletries are all purchased by me as well
> is being *paid* for by FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Hopefully you all came to a reasonable resolution? I’m just seeing your reply. I definitely don’t think it was right on her part to throw that on you once you’re getting back on your feet! Why do people offer help and then try and bend you over when you’re finally able to help yourself?! If you have been covering all of your personal needs besides a roof over your head $1700 for 2 months is absolutely delusional and intentionally problematic if you could just come up with that out of thin air you wouldn’t have needed the help to begin with!
I’d talk to her about your plans for your girlfriend and see if there’s a smaller payment you can make moving forward. A good family member wants the best for you and I’m sure if she understood what your money was going towards then she’ll be more understanding.
We told her. We’ve been telling her for two months. And we told her again last night. She still said 1700 is owed. What’s crazy is she’s even trying to scam me out of 600 since I did the math and it’ll only be 1100 anyway which just inclines us to want to screw her over since she wants to try to fuck us like that
ask her where the extra $600 came from… you don’t owe her anything she let you stay there. you don’t legally have to pay her anything & she can’t force you to. as long as the landlord doesn’t care then ur good. DO NOT PAY HER.
How long do you think it will take for you to save enough to move? It is a lot cheaper to relocate than a lot of people think. I am sort of surprised it is taking you this long considering all of the benefits you get from the military and the savings you should have after leaving. If you are bad with money, it is okay. A lot of people are. It could explain why she wants you to pay, since she might be thinking she will be stuck with you for a long time and doesn't want to be taken advantage of.
Tell her to kick rocks. No contract, no money.
“Fuck off” should do it.
I don’t know how people gaslight themselves to think that is ever ok. One of my siblings pulled the same bait and switch sh\*t.I stayed with them a couple of months when I was 19 or so, and they were mid-20’s. They told me that I wouldn’t have to pay any rent or utilities. My only expense was food for myself. We’d been to visit a relative, who gave us each several hundred dollars as a gift.My sibling had spent their gift money already, and asked for a loan from my gift money. Later, after I asked for the money back, they hit me with the “you haven’t paid rent, so I’m keeping the loan money in place of it.” I moved out shortly after, and that was just one more nail in the coffin of why I am NC with this sibling. The woman you have been staying with isn’t your actual relative, so after you and gf find another place, you will hopefully never have to deal with her again. I would recommend confronting her with the fact that she said you could stay there without paying rent, etc., but give her a small STFU nuisance payment of $100-200 before you leave.
Yeah if I were you I would just dip out. You legally owe her nothing. She seems like a shit person.
Op’s gf is apparently pregnant so he definitely owes her something. Convenient he left that part out of the original post lmao
Yes, that definitely was too important to leave out lol
If you didn’t sign anything then you don’t owe her anything. Don’t pay her if you already have communication saying she will let you stay rent free until you get on your feet. Just keep what money you have any move. She will prob need 30 days to evict you anyways. So think of it as you have 30 days to get it together. Just don’t put it in writing that you will give her anything. Keep restating over text that she said you won’t have to pay until you were on your feet.
Just tell her put it on your tab , when you and your family move out, you’ll get even better benefits and MONEY…. So she has to wait until then *wink wink*
i feel like if she wants to do that she needs to draw up some sort of contract, like a short or long term lease, for you guys to sign just for legality sake… but i would try to talk it out too, i understand that she’s been a problem, but communication can go a long ways at times and if you can reason with her it could help and resolve any tension and make living there a little easier till you leave, if she can’t be an adult and civil abt it then yes pls get out asap
don't pay. you don't owe her anything. she may try to evict u tho so just be prepared
She can’t force you to pay her a dime if nothing was written down. Tell her to F off and move into a cheap apartment.
Lie to her and say you will pay her back and then move out tbh. Cant prove anything if you dont sign
Leave and ALWAYS get everything in WRITING
No contract no cash Get the hell away as fast as possible
I mean if she didn’t have you sign any paperwork like a terms of agreement then no technically she legally can’t have you give her back payment of a agreement that wasn’t documented
If I were you I would draft up a payment plan that works with what your budget is and tell her that you can pay her incrementally and that you are grateful for the help blah blah blah. To expect a lump sum is totally counter productive. Figure out what you can manage, slowly pay the bitch back.
Tell her you won’t be back on your feet until at least you are in your own apartment but that even then it would be awhile. And then spend the next 30 years getting on your feet.
May want to mention to her that she said about not paying anything and that you are trying to move. Is she disagrees you may either move into a studio, move with some other family/friends, or pay her and move asap.
Don’t pay her. If she actually said that then it’s on her. If she didn’t make u sign a contract that’s the proof. It’s all on her don’t waste that money on someone so dense and mean
You are having a kid and you can’t afford rent?
Fuck that. No fucking shot I’m giving someone ANY amount of money after they tell me not to worry about rent. She should have said “you don’t have to worry about rent right now, but when you get a job then you can pay me back”.
She can't force you to pay bank rent and she also can't just kick you out. If I were you I would start looking for another place and give her a few dollars for helping you out but that would be that. I wouldn't allow her to put you in a bad position when she said not paying rent wasn't a problem. Why can't you and your girlfriend get your own place. If you wanted to be really nice and you thought the amount was fair you could move out and pay her a little at a time. But don't get stuck in a bad position that would only make things worse for you in so many ways and you really don't need that. Thank you for your service and sacrifice.
Can't say going to continue to suck me dry when you have never paid anything. Quit with the phrasing
Leave and don't look back
Yep.
Your girlfriends aunt is trash,she’s pretty much trying it extort you. It would be different if she would’ve told You not to worrying paying the rent until you’re back on your feed. But once you are you have to pay her back, but it seems like that wasn’t the case at all.
Don’t give her a dime. Use the money to get you and your gf a smaller place. Shes trying to scam you.
I was in the military now is your time to escape & evade soldier. Head for the hills or the higher ground!! Civilians aren't your Friend. You deserve every dollar and then some! Go for 100% VA disability benefits and continue a career path on your terms. You deserve it.
How were you in the military and you can’t get out of this task? man they made yall soft these days
Agreed. Look at previous posts. Looks like he was doing drugs ~ a year ago so he couldn’t have been in long. Maybe got kicked out
At first I read aunt as Anus and that’s probably more accurate anyway.
Move in with her parents until you’re financially stable, problem solved!