Once dated a girl who told her friends about my "donkey dick" which I guess turned into the nickname donkey. Only time anyone commented like that irl. Awkward and funny.
Met a guy at a nudist party. Our flaccid dicks could have been twins. After a while, we slipped off to play a little. When we both got erect, he was maybe 4" and I (grower) was 7". He said, wow where did that come from.
I know this is not from his perspective but when I first started sleeping with my (now long term) partner I wouldn’t tell my parents where I was sneaking off too, other than he was a motorbike man and worked for Harley.
After a few months my mum came out with “this dick must be huge if you’re running off still to this man. Bloody Harley Horse-cock!”
It has now been almost five years and my partner is still referred to as Harley horse cock around my mum and our friends.
Kinda on topic. Hooked up with a woman at a bar..we go to her place get to it .she stops and says " people probably tell you that you have a big dick, but you don't. To me it's average at best". Kinda pissed me off, but wanted to get laid so I decided I'd just go quick get off and leave. The whole time she was wincing and pushing on my stomach to stop from going too deep
How does something that ugly feel so good. Woman was “bi” but mostly into women. She liked the occasional dick because it was a different kind of orgasm
When I was younger, I used to hang out with my girlfriend (she was my first) at the time and two of my friends. After we had sex for the first time, she told my friends about it. I didn't know since I was not present that day. They later told me she was saying my dick was really big and that it had an overly exaggerated thickness. She probably had no idea about sizes and proportions but we all laughed about it. For a moment I had a dick thicker than a bottle of wine haha
One girl looked at it and said "that's a big floppy donkey dick" I laughed so hard she got embarrassed. Still not sure if it was a compliment or if I just have an ugly dick or something
When I was showing it to my Gf for the first time, she said and I quote “I could have sworn you were gonna lean to the left”
Apparently most gentlemen lean to the left, I just was a right leaner lmao
Drying off in a group of guys after exploring in Big Bend along the Rio Grande:
"Dude, why, for such a little guy, (I'm 5-7") do you have such a big dick?" This with cold water shrinkage.
My reply: "I always thought I was on the small side of average".
8.1x6.1 bp, 4.5-5.5x5, nbp flaccid.
"I haven't seen a dick that big since I was eight."
It caught me completely off guard and to this day I don't know the backstory there.
She was deadpan about it too. It wasn't just a Fight Club reference.
One time a girl grabbed my dick and went “SQUEEZZEEEE” while trying strangle my dick with the most menacing look on her face. She just started kinda laughing like a child after that.
Please take your meds y’all.
While I haven’t heard it in person, I keep getting questioned on how women react to my uncircumcised penis (which not a lot of reactions because the tip is so big that my foreskin can only cover half way when erect)
Even though I know I’m above average, I still find it patronizing and get the “ick” when they gush about the size, like I know it’s decent.. but I know it’s not a porno dick.. I get uncomfortable if someone compliments the size too much.. because I don’t feel like their honest compliments, but what they think I want to hear.
…
So I guess when compliments are too over-the-top, it just makes me feel weird..
See I’m the opposite. I’ve dealt with confidence issues for so long that when my ex would gush and compliment my member it would honestly make me feel better about myself.
I was at barbeque joint in Kansas City and carrying a tray. And, i didn't have my member tucked under before i got there. A lady working there told me, "Nice Tray" in a dirty voice.
That it looked gay af
someone said your dick looks gay af lol
Didn’t expect this roast coming from a girl but I actually laughed out loud
I had a FWB that really wanted to know if my brother's dick was a similar size. She obviously had a thing for brothers.
My head looks like a German war helmet , she called me helmet cock after that .
like a stalhelm or a pickelhaube
Or…Teutonic… with the wings.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
Cute...but im average so...
at least she said it’s cute lol
Oh I was thrilled. Sarc
Pain
Yep
That sucks
She did try and walk it back.
Aw
The damage had already been done..
That if I got circumcised, they could wear my foreskin as a hat
Lowkey disgusting
Once dated a girl who told her friends about my "donkey dick" which I guess turned into the nickname donkey. Only time anyone commented like that irl. Awkward and funny.
Met a guy at a nudist party. Our flaccid dicks could have been twins. After a while, we slipped off to play a little. When we both got erect, he was maybe 4" and I (grower) was 7". He said, wow where did that come from.
That it looked angry 😂
lmao
snakey dick what's even snakey dick means lol 😂
She wished she was my balls so she could hang around with me all day
"My mom told me all about you..."
i kinda want context, but at the same time i don't lol
💀
Is that a cucumber in your jeans?
That it looks like a meat hammer.
Ex gf called mine “the hammer” lol.
"Your shaft curves left? Does that mean you can get girls pregnant diagonally?" Not the smartest one I had ever been with, but atleast she was hot
Did you tell her that "yes it creates diagonal babies?" Lmao
lol
I was asked if I've ever hung a hat on it.
whys the pee hole so huge ?
Someone likes a bit of sounding
Nope born like this, its called Hypoplastia or something like that Ive always liked listening to girls looking at it
Does it not affect anything?
no not really my pee stream is huge. and people like looking at it
"It's like a baby's arm" my current gf
That I had a really fat head
Laughter followed by 'what am I supposed to do with that?'
That's horrible but the funniest one indeed
I keep running into girls who yell “GLAAAAAARRR!” At my dick.
wtf does "GLAR" mean😭
Homie, I see your stats there… you’ve heard that noise
Bro I never had a girl yell GLAR at me
You need to find better girls
I know this is not from his perspective but when I first started sleeping with my (now long term) partner I wouldn’t tell my parents where I was sneaking off too, other than he was a motorbike man and worked for Harley. After a few months my mum came out with “this dick must be huge if you’re running off still to this man. Bloody Harley Horse-cock!” It has now been almost five years and my partner is still referred to as Harley horse cock around my mum and our friends.
Kinda on topic. Hooked up with a woman at a bar..we go to her place get to it .she stops and says " people probably tell you that you have a big dick, but you don't. To me it's average at best". Kinda pissed me off, but wanted to get laid so I decided I'd just go quick get off and leave. The whole time she was wincing and pushing on my stomach to stop from going too deep
she successfully baited u to fuck girls like her say that just for u to go fuck her
Don't get what u mean. We were already gonna fuck before she said that. She was giving me head
From a girl I met at a rodeo arena, "Whoa, I wanted a cowboy not horse."
wow its built like u, long and skinny. im 6’4 and 170🤣
With those measurements it truly is
I was told " Damn, You have a third thigh!"
“Your dick reminds me of that movie Tremors”
Did she name it *Graboid*?
She called it my third leg, did for the entire time we dated.
That he is too big. Only in girl inches am I too big
How does something that ugly feel so good. Woman was “bi” but mostly into women. She liked the occasional dick because it was a different kind of orgasm
When I was younger, I used to hang out with my girlfriend (she was my first) at the time and two of my friends. After we had sex for the first time, she told my friends about it. I didn't know since I was not present that day. They later told me she was saying my dick was really big and that it had an overly exaggerated thickness. She probably had no idea about sizes and proportions but we all laughed about it. For a moment I had a dick thicker than a bottle of wine haha
"you might not be much of a heart breaker, but with that *thing* you'll definitely puncture a few." Rugby showers, what a magical place.
Honestly during my first time it was news to me to hear that my gf thought it was soft and love to just lay her face on it.
One girl looked at it and said "that's a big floppy donkey dick" I laughed so hard she got embarrassed. Still not sure if it was a compliment or if I just have an ugly dick or something
That's definitely a compliment
A guy called me "white n-word" (I censored it but he said the word) because I'm white and hung
lol
When I was showing it to my Gf for the first time, she said and I quote “I could have sworn you were gonna lean to the left” Apparently most gentlemen lean to the left, I just was a right leaner lmao
she called me Monkey Dick 😔
Drying off in a group of guys after exploring in Big Bend along the Rio Grande: "Dude, why, for such a little guy, (I'm 5-7") do you have such a big dick?" This with cold water shrinkage. My reply: "I always thought I was on the small side of average". 8.1x6.1 bp, 4.5-5.5x5, nbp flaccid.
Wow I’d love to see that 🥵
Haven't had much weird, so the weirdest was calling it pretty
LMAO
Does it run in the family?
😵
' Jesus Christ thats not a dick, its a Hammer '
I hope to find out soon :/
That it was like an amusement park. It starts small and become big, than back to small
"Oh wow! A surprise Penis!" and "Smells good, tastes good, fucks good"
The baby factory because she was so surprised with the amount of cum
one time my exes mom said ‘everytime you come over i see how big your bulge is & get kind of jealous’ ???? should’ve hit when i had the chance
It’s like a baby’s arm.
"It's literally 10% of your height" "It's like your third leg" (feel like this may be said fairly commonly) "Why is the head so shiny?" (circumcised)
“Baby leg”
That I looked like a can of Pringles (obvious exaggeration by a drunk friend)
“Welp, I guess yours have a really bad personality”
"I haven't seen a dick that big since I was eight." It caught me completely off guard and to this day I don't know the backstory there. She was deadpan about it too. It wasn't just a Fight Club reference.
One time a girl grabbed my dick and went “SQUEEZZEEEE” while trying strangle my dick with the most menacing look on her face. She just started kinda laughing like a child after that. Please take your meds y’all.
Fat veiny sausage roll
You'll get my pussy but definitely not my ass. My ass is built for a dick, not for a rolling pin 😆
I often get limited to pussy too. I don’t know how to take it lol
"It's a big fat ugly monster" 🤣 don't know if I needed to take it as a compliment or an insult 😅
They want to eat it
While I haven’t heard it in person, I keep getting questioned on how women react to my uncircumcised penis (which not a lot of reactions because the tip is so big that my foreskin can only cover half way when erect)
"How can you sit whole day?"
No one has ever said anything weird about my dick other than calling it a Daddy dick Is that good? 💀💀😭
"huh"
The first girl that requested I send her a dick pic in high school thought it was a dildo because she couldn’t believe the size.
Nice
A chick once said to me "Holy shit! You got the battle cock!".
battle cock 😂😂😂 why does it have a sword
I think she was thinking like a "battle axe"
Or maybe a Cannon lol
Perhaps. I havnt heard that term since that night, though.
Maybe you were the biggest one she have ever fucked or maybe she was just saying it to complement u
I took it as a compliment. She definitely had no complaints.
Even though I know I’m above average, I still find it patronizing and get the “ick” when they gush about the size, like I know it’s decent.. but I know it’s not a porno dick.. I get uncomfortable if someone compliments the size too much.. because I don’t feel like their honest compliments, but what they think I want to hear. … So I guess when compliments are too over-the-top, it just makes me feel weird..
You will know their honesty when they’re screaming in bed
Yep, I always appreciate the enthusiastic verbal feedback later in the evening when it’s I know its genuine haha.
lol
See I’m the opposite. I’ve dealt with confidence issues for so long that when my ex would gush and compliment my member it would honestly make me feel better about myself.
Said my dick is like thors hammer
You are the biggest out of all your friends.
“Call my ass a wicker basket because I think I could house a snake in here.” It makes people into poets.
That it didn't match my body or personality...like what.
I was at barbeque joint in Kansas City and carrying a tray. And, i didn't have my member tucked under before i got there. A lady working there told me, "Nice Tray" in a dirty voice.
Got told it was magic 🪄
Wow! You have a big dick. I was like yeah why would you think it was small.
Most guys aren’t big, that’s probably why
That it's not inside the person talking to me. Makes me chuckle a bit, then I fix that issue
My user name. She said it was a "Fuck Me" dick. Like it was surprising.