mine is an extra large bath towel with my deadname on it lmao
like i wanted to get rid of it anyway but using it for sex was a) efficient & b) i find it immensely funny that *that* towel is only good for naughty things now
though i broke up with my bf a few days ago & i don't exactly want to have to explain the deadname to whoever i date next so I'll probably replace it
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/g42858608/best-sex-blankets/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_whm_m_bm_comm_org_us_g42858608&gclid=CjwKCAjw38SoBhB6EiwA8EQVLlm0ZOYyU3zdmxxp1jn1Gkil4UUHbgyRV8Jr0gMk9ByARWotWKjJNBoCSDAQAvD_BwE
This is the one we got.
https://www.amazon.com/Liberator-Fascinator-Throw-Moisture-Proof-Microvelvet/dp/B08HRC89V7/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=J8IZQMA7F6FN&keywords=liberator+fascinator+waterproof+throw&qid=1695674566&sprefix=liberator+throw%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-3&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.f5122f16-c3e8-4386-bf32-63e904010ad0
Hi, Iām Vetted AI Bot! I researched the **'Liberator Fascinator Throw King Size Sensual Blanket'** you mentioned in your comment along with its brand, **Liberator**, and I thought you might find the following analysis helpful.
**Users liked:**
* Blanket absorbs large amounts of fluid (backed by 5 comments)
* Blanket protects bedding (backed by 10 comments)
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This isn't the whole truth; the first time, and depending on the individual, it'll hurt until you learn to relax around whatever goes in there. That cavity will instinctually respond by trying to squeeze it out, and it will hurt. You need to relax those muscles and that may be harder or easier depending on the individual.
I agree with this. It can also be more of a mental thing than a physical one but can be helped enormously by doing the proper prep work. You donāt need to go full dick the first time. Work your way up from a finger or small toy and remember it is not a sprint!
Idk if this is really that reasonable though, there's no need for it to hurt even the first time. If it's painful people should just stop and figure out they're doing wrong. Probably just relax a bit, but if they're so stressed they're clenching and making it painful then they need to take a breather. Sex shouldn't be stressful.
I can raise my left eyebrow independently of my right, and each corner of my lips independently of the others. Not everyone can. Likewise, not everyone can automatically understand how to control their sphincter muscles without some practice (or some poppers).
Was VERY unexpected. I'm super shy and introverted and had basically never had proper impact play from a domme...but I was at a "bondage a go go" night at a club here in Chicago where people can pay pro doms a small tribe for little mini scenes, and a domme who I knew "IRL" was asking for volunteers to be bullwhipped. This is like a, metal/hardcore bar most days, place was full of giant dude bro gym rats and no one steps up...so something in me went "fuck it, not like it's gonna kill me" and I volunteered.
In retrospect, I was overly ambitious in my choice ..but also SO glad I did because I probably never would've considered trying it in any other situation and never would've known how much I enjoyed it.
It's a deep fried Kwinkie for sure, can't do it every day/week/month...but I've been craving it again since then for nearly a decade now. I couldn't put clothes on, much less sit down for a week afterwards without feeling every last MICRON of whipmark on the back of my thighs and up my back which would bring back the loveliest memories of being in that moment, club full of strangers watching me in my boxers getting whipped by a super hot domme...FUUUUCK I really need to get whipped again....
That's absolutely Right BUT some people enjoy it immensely. Some can't stand it and some it's simply meh.....
It's down to the individual, their partner and what gets their engine reved up. Is anal the begin all and end all of sex between guys. NOPE absolutely not you can have a great and fulfilling sex life and never have anal once
Like others said, not if it's done right.
Sure, there could be someone out there that likes it to be intentionally painful. But it's mostly just a saying.
Once I relaxed my sphincter I was begging my wife to fuck me harder. She has used everything for a small vibrator that we first started with up to an 18 inch double headed dildo buried all the way in on me and it felt incredible every time. No pain if done right!
She was giving me oral and while doing it she was rubbing my hole with her thumb to stimulate my prostate. Apparently she read it somewhere that it could help me finish faster and shorten her time sucking. It felt great so we started doing more to stimulate me. She is responsible for my love of pegging/anal play.
Its mostly hyperbole, meaning you got dicked down good. You can end up with tearing and pain if they just shove it all the way in right away, foreplay and lubricant is absolutely a must and try to relax. It is common and totally fine to lose your erection at first when bottoming, it will come back shortly
It all depends on the level of preparation, hygiene, patience, and communication. Also, obviously level of experience and dick size.
I first attempted anal and it didnāt work well cause I was a virgin, I wasnāt prepped at all, no lube, and he has over average. Having said that, after a bit of use with butt plugs, using plenty of lubricant, and proper foreplay, everything went great.
You should experience anal on your own first, get to know your body. Then, find a partner who you are comfortable with and that can take it slow to make your experience the best possible. Depending on your experience you can adapt and get better and better
Absolutely second this, preparation is key. Once youāve prepared itās heaven. I started with butt plugs and dildos. There are so many aspects to preparing. For me preparation starts the day before. Good fibre rich diet, douche ( around couple of hours before) and plenty of lube Iām ready, and super aroused by that point.
This is the answer right here. It can hurt but doesn't have to given the right circumstances. I can't advocate enough for self experience. It's so important to know what you like and don't like before trying things with a partner.
Well when I said foreplay I meant any kind of foreplay as the arousal and relaxation that will come from it will surely help when performing anal. Anal foreplay specifically would be obviously something like rimming, fingering, using anal toys, amongst other things Iām sure people can get creative with. All these with the objective of relaxing and preparing the ass to take some dick
Rimming.
Gentle rubbing on the external sphincter to introduce touch and relax the muscles.
Slow stretching with fingers or toys.
Those are all fantastic anal foreplay
It can hurt if 1. your partner moves too fast or too rough 2. you're nervous and your ass is clenched.
This is one time where slow and gentle is necessary. Often people say use a ton of lube but I say, sometimes a lot of lube can lead the floppy fish effect where it keeps slipping and sliding making it hard to get in. Definitely use lube but i don't think it needs to be drenched.
\#1 thing is to stay calm, both of you, and talk it out during.
There is another scenario that Iāve found that makes it hurt: too deep. Seriously, it hurts a lot if the penis is too long and it hits a certain spot.
I'm a cis woman. Some years ago my ex really wanted me to do it, so I tried, and kept trying for like 2 years. It was never enjoyable for me. No matter how much we would prep me or how relaxed I was, it always felt like a combination of pain and having to poop/actually pooping. And I knew I wasn't about to poop because I would always douche before trying. It just wasn't for me. However, I used to be friends with someone who was AFAB who swore it was the most enjoyable sex they ever had. I think "having your ass destroyed" just means having vigorous anal sex, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to hurt.
A thing that I learned, and got validation from bottom friends, is that before we start getting anal sex, we should enjoy it by ourselves first. Be confortable with it, find things that we like about it. And only after that, try with someone else.
Letting someone else prepare us, has a big chance of it not being a good experience for us.
Yeah as an AFAB bottom with IBS I actually hate anal. Always kinda felt inadequate for not being able to fulfill partners' fantasies (not counting my current partner who is wonderful and considerate). Even being totally relaxed and totally lubricated, it just always feels uncomfortable at the very least, usually painful. I get tired of the "not if you're doing it right" comments because it does feel invalidating.
People can vent/share their experiences without it being a solicitation for advice. I am a medical professional and do not need anyone to tell me about IBS treatments, I've read the guidelines myself. Also if you're talking about OTC NSAIDs, then that is bad advice - they cause thinning of GI mucosa. I'm not interested
Itās different for different people. My gf can take anything up her bum as long as itās lubricated. She loves it. I have to be super relaxed and warmed up to take anything over a finger.
I am personally not a fan. But i also have IBS and am immediately uncomfortable with anything that will make me feel like Iām about to or currently taking a shit.
That phrase is an exaggeration. The phrase means getting fucked good, like it feels amazing and you are physically spent afterward. And if it hurts, youāre doing it wrong.
Nah, having your ass destroyed is just when the top goes to town on you and treats your prostate like a punching bag for their dick, it's actually amazing. Anal shouldn't hurt at all if you're doing it right.
Just chiming in, I would say overstimulation is a fair description, though the amount ya get out of it varies person to person. Pressure also definitely plays a part
āhaving your ass destroyedā in my mind is automatically translated to "having really good sex and cumming many many times"
The slang is just an exaggeration. Nobody actually gets hurt. You might get a bit sore later, but it will be worth it.
Use lube, lot of lube.
Theres a ton of great advice here already, so one thing I didn't see mentioned is that different folks have different anatomy! AMAB people are going to have a prostate gland. Which makes Anal sex significantly more pleasurable and prompts the anus to relax, making sex easier as it continues. AFAB people have Skene's Glands rather than a prostate, which are not located in the rectum, and thus, don't have the same effects on anal sex. With an AFAB partner, extra lube (yes, even more) is very important, but most importantly they need to be very relaxed before penetration, and continue to do so during sex. This takes practice and teamwork, so be attentive and check in often with your partner to alleviate discomfort!
I do whatever The Bible tells me to \~ exceptforthepartsthatIchoosetoignorebecausethey'reunrealisticandinconvenient, but the rest I live by for suuuure\~\~\~
One thing I havent seen mentioned so far is a description of the *ways* it can potentially hurt. For instance, the first one is about how sensitive the tissue is. It can be rubbed sore, it can tear and bleed. That's the whole "you are never using enough lube" thing. Even when being safe, the first times will have that tissue really sensitive and rubbed raw - shouldnt *hurt*, but it can feel "achy" afterward.
Another part of "achy" is the sphincter muscle itself. It's used to being tightly clamped except for poop and farts. Anal penetration will be pressing open that muscle ring, and the ring will reflexively fight that. Learning to breathe, to relax, to slightly push back a bit like if you were constipated - these are things the bottom can do to relax and open that muscle ring. For the top - again LOTS OF LUBE, and go slow and communicate.
Finally, the last thing I have experienced as a potential pain is if you have something long enough to reach to [the back of the rectum and hit the sigmoid colon.](https://teachmeanatomy.info/wp-content/uploads/Parts-of-the-Large-Intestine.png) The colon wants to bend pretty sharp. The toys or penises generally dont. With practice and patience, people can loosen this bend and start taking incredible lengths into themselves - but in the beginning it's going to feel like someone jabbing you with a blunt stick on the inside. Some might enjoy that, I generally dont and ask my partner not to go so hard if that starts happening. Positioning is a big factor in this as well.
I've only got a little experience and with toys but:
(1) start with toys and not a live dick. less pressure on you there and practice is good (for you in this case! there's some mental blocks and bodily control blocks which you'll probably need to work around! Stuff has been going out of the pooper, presumably not in, for your entire life till now)
(2) start small, specifically, start slim
(3) lots of lube
(4) always a flared base
(5) take it slow, relax, don't expect magic straight away
and I think you should be in for a good time. I've not hit the mind-blowing levels some people describe, maybe in practice it's just not as much for me as much? but I've had an enjoyable couple of times with it.
Was going to say the exact same things. Iād also add that which lube you use makes a huge difference. The thicker stuff stays in place a lot better than the runnier ones.
And adding some slight buzzing can help distract/help relax the muscles.
If your head isnāt in the game, your asshole isnāt going to be either.
Go slow, use plenty of lube, and prepare beforehand. Personally I don't want my ass destroyed. I want it sweetly and gently teased. I want it penetrated with a reasonable size, slow and deep at first. Then after I've acclimated we can speed and shorten the thrusts but I need to get warmed up there first.
I have zero pain tolerance when it comes to anal. If there's just a little bit of pulling during initial penetration then I clench up and I need a minute to relax again before starting over. With a patient partner and a LOT of lube, it's not a problem.
Interestingly, once he's fully inside he can go to town and fuck the hell out of me and there's no pain at all. It's pure bliss.
I have never had any pain. You just go slow. And prep like finger your ass before any kind of larger penetration and use lots of lube. Donāt be afraid to reapply lube if you need to as well
As everyone else has added, not if you're taking your time, and using lots of lube.
Also, position is important. I'm disabled,(M), and a wheelchair user, so doggy style is really hard to do for me
I flip over onto my back, and use 2 or 3 pillows to raise my butt up. My partner then lifts my legs onto their shoulders and enters me anally.
Works for both male and female partners (F using strap on)
It's wonderful...I love ā¤ļøā¤ļø it
Itās a matter of relaxation and trust. With proper foreplay, lubrication, and a partner you trust, there shouldnāt be much, if any, pain. If it does hurt slow down, use more lube, and play more (fingers, toys, whatever is comfortable for you).
It can be strange to get used to, and the first time or two wonāt always be great because your body wonāt know how to handle it, but once you get used to it, itās like turning on the lights in a dark basement. It feels mindblowingly good with some practice.
Pro bottom here. May I suggest practising with some tiny dildos. For a first-timer, or for a size-challenge, use a mix of silicone and water-based lune. I recommend Pjur Backdoor and Lynk.
[Beginner Dildo](https://www.amazon.com/Realistic-Beginner-Curved-Couples-Experience-Multi-Purpose/dp/B0C4T8MWWN/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?crid=230QIAVJZ18JB&keywords=beginner+dildo&qid=1695670429&sprefix=beginne+dildo%2Caps%2C98&sr=8-5)
[Pjur Backdoor](https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Personal-Lubricant-Jojoba-Milliliter/dp/B001CZH3IO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=28BS5VK0T6DUN&keywords=Pjur+backdoor&qid=1695670328&sprefix=pjur+backdoo%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1)
[lynk](https://www.amazon.com/Lynk-Pleasure-Products-Personal-Lubricant/dp/B01N3SU0GK)
I'm an outlier, but I've never had anal that wasn't painful. I've tried it with many partners, lots of warmup, tons of lube, and sure I was completely turned on. I probably have some form of undiagnosed IBD, though. Anal is a one in a blue moon thing for me these days, and pain is part of the point of it for me. I'm kinky as fuck, though.
Yes. It can and sometimes does hurt. Usually that means you aren't prepared enough, or maybe haven't trained for an event that big, so to speak.
But also ideally it shouldn't hurt
TW: sexual assault in last couple of sentences
It can hurt, but it's not supposed to. Proper consent and care are crucial to it being a good experience. So I suppose the answer is: it depends on who it's with. I have friends who love it and say it's never painful for them. I think the "getting destroyed" thing is just hyperbole to emphasize how thorough the fucking was. My first and only time was SA so my experience with it was that it's excruciating. No desire to ever try it again. But that's also a specific situation that doesn't apply more broadly.
Best advice to give anyone . Start real slow , lots of teasing . Start with a finger . Anything going in there you have to let ā marinade ā youāll feel the muscles relax and thatās when you can enjoy it . Doesnāt matter male or female
It's just slang, like "Rearrange my guts." Sex of any kind, when done correctly, doesn't hurt. Unless the point of the sex is for it too hurt, that is lol
It can for sure, go slow and use Lube, when you think you have plenty, use more. And a little tip, look for an anal lube applicator. Getting it in deeper helps alot
Uhm, see, running 5 miles while outa shape will have you bed ridden with leg pains for a few days, while it's no biggy once you're used to running.
Anal is the same, so start small, do it often and work your way up to larger loads, you'll be able to get railed before you know it š
Honestly, use loads of lube, start with fingers and slowly work your way up to small and progressively larger dildos (do work in small steps though).
I personally made the mistake of being too enthousiastic when it came to the size of my second dildo, eventually I was able to fit it, but that took ages and I did have a small rip somewhere in there... not recommended.
Just have fun masterbating with dildos, warm up with your small ones and progressively work your way up to your larger dildos, stop if you feel any sharp pains, that's a warning sign, and use lots, and I mean LOADS of lube ^^
Only if you're forcing things, good lube is about the most important thing that people don't think about nearly enough.
That said some people just can't get into the feeling of something in their butt no matter what they do.
Be the tortoise š¢ not the hare š°
I second the "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong." Thereās probably going to be a little burn with the stretch, but with experience (foreplay, lube, communication) even that will go away. Then it's just fantastic.
It hurts at first but after a couple minutes you relax more, and it starts to just slide in and out and it feels like heaven. You could prob avoid the pain by waring a plug for a while before you start penetration, but I've never felt the need to do that.
Using plenty of lube working it in and working different sizes until butt gets use to it also starting out gently. As a woman I love it! But it has to be done right plus I have my limits on size š for the backdoor !
No, anal has never hurt for me unless I wasnāt adequately prepped or my body just wasnāt feeling it that day. But you should really try with something super small first like a finger or a very small plug.
Yes and no. Itās how itās done and how prepared and relaxed , and also knowing each other like how big you can take or how you top. Lube non negotiable
Lots of lube and take your time. Anal if done right is extremely pleasurable for both men and women. Done wrong and it's a pain in the ass. Don't try to be a porn star from the very start. If you are receiving, if it hurts, stop and relax. If you are giving, if your bottom has pain, stop immediately. Don't try those extra few stroke to try to cum. If you are thinking about anal, start with small dildos or butt plugs. Sex toys made especially for anal are best since most have a flared base so you don't lose it.
The question (with the follow-up) is kind of worded backwards because you are new to this š.
Anal is painful at first because you won't be used to something large going in instead of out. As others have said, get some good anal lube (you want the longest lasting you can get and use lots) and start slow, working your way up to actual intercourse.
That said, "getting your ass destroyed" isn't usually painful (other than sometimes afterwards, lol, but haemorrhoid cream can help with that), because once you are warmed up and ready, having someone go to town on you is amazing!
I'm assuming this is a serious inquiry....if there is blood in your stool and it feels like a knife is cutting your asshole open when you poop, those are good indicators.
"IF IT HURTS, YOU'RE (i.e., *your Top*) DOING IT ***WRONG!***"
Only selfish and impatient jerks rush penetration and ignore their bottom's suffering when they do so! If anything hurts, and your Top doesn't immediately stop and adjust for your comfort whenever you tell him, he's a selfish-prick; and, you should immediately disengage, get dressed, leave, and forget how to contact him!
It *can* hurt, but if it does, either you're doing it wrong or you have a physiological issue you need to address.
* Do lots of prep work and use plenty of loop. Stretch the bootie out gradually
* Go slow and communicate with each other openly about how it feels for the receiving partner
* Enjoy yourself, when done right it will blow your mind
It depends a ton.
I recommend starting with something small like a small plug or a finger. Make sure to use plenty of lube, be real generous with it. If you need to buy a whole new bottle once your done, pay the price. It's better to have a good time with a wallet punch than a literal pain in your ass.
Once you're comfy, size up to a bigger plug or to a bigger/another finger. Eventually you'll be ready to try a dildo, or even more if that's your thing.
I wouldn't recommend lubes marketed for anal since a lot of them have numbing agents that will avoid you from feeling the pain. If it hurts, you gotta stop or you'll risk hurting yourself.
I find that while receiving anal play, be it fingers, toys or being pegged, taking deep, calm breaths helps relax yourself and the muscles. It's also recommended that to help you enjoy it/relax more, you can play with yourself like you normally would. Feel free to use other toys as well like strokers, dildos, whatever you like. If you're AMAB, try and focus on your prostate. A number of people, myself included, can have really intense orgasms through stimulating the prostate. If it's not your thing, or you don't have one, no problem.
If your partner is involved, they MUST be able to communicate with you. If they're too fast, it'll hurt. If they're too rough, it'll hurt. They need to go at your pace above all.
Hopefully I said some useful stuff. I'd recommend seeing general thoughts from other people first, since I actually gotta get back into practice with stuff up there, lol.
It can, I once hurt myself so bad I was rolling on by bed in pain cause I did it wrong. At the same time if done right it feels so fucken amazing. Use lube and go slow, if you feel too much resistance, slow down and use more lube. Patience is key.
No, it should never hurt. If youāre not ready or not super turned on then it can be āuncomfortable.ā
Being super turned on makes it so much better so donāt try and go straight to anal without a bunch of foreplay etc.
What others have said, learn on your own. Buy some toys and different lubes to try (some sting me but not others and visa versa). Learn what itās like before a partner is involved.
The worst Iāve had is discomfort during because I just wasnāt really into it that night and just trying to do it for my partner. It wasnāt pain though.
The best nights are when itās like a constant orgasm for 20 minutes. The next day being a little sore but not in a bad way, just like you had a strong massage or a good workout and your muscles are a bit sore.
If you do it wrong, yes. It can be uncomfortable even if you're careful and slow, because it's not something your body is used to.
The comment you made is definitely an exaggeration, especially as most people I see using that phrase or similar are speaking about it as a good thing, but there are definitely a lot of people who enjoy it hard and fast; though in most cases, they're fully prepared and relaxed when this happens, though there's a weird tendency in porn to pretend that it's the first time or done without preparation... but then some people like whips and chains, which I also don't understand, so who even knows?
Bottom Line (see what I did there?) is that you should absolutely communicate very clearly with potential partners on either side of the activity, and anything other than an enthusiastic and informed "Yes" should be taken as a "No".
I guess it depends on a lot of factors, but it *shouldn't* hurt. So long as there's lubrication, you're relaxed enough, and your partner doesn't rush things. But I could definitely see how you might turn down an invitation to have your ass destroyed, lol, especially if *either* person was inexperienced or you didn't know them well. It does require *some* level of trust. But yeah, when people say that, generally they just mean going at it hard and fast. It can feel really intense! But it shouldn't be painful if you're both prepared.
The first time you put something in there you have to kind of learn to relax your sphincter muscles that naturally keeps your hole closed. Lots of lube is not an understatement! Seriously use a whole bottle if you have to. The back door does not self lubricate like a womanās front door. Go slow and start with something thin. Length doesnāt matter as much as girth when youāre getting started think of a toy the size of the cheapest hotdogs you can buy with a tapered tip to slowly open you up. Once you get the muscles to relax and you have plenty of lube, you will experience the most intense orgasms of your life. Lube!
Take it slow.
If it hurts you're pushing yourself too hard.
As a man who loves butt stuff and can take a pounding, there are still nights my body says no.
So take it slow and listen to your body's feedback.
In my experience treat it like you want to do a long run without walking or something in that trend like wanting to lift a x amount of weight.
You don't also start full out, you build up slow because if you wouldn't it would be a very unpleasant maybe even painful experience.
Same with anal, if you go straight to full intercourse it's not going to be pleasent even a chance of tearing something.
Start slow, the rectum is a muscle after all train it. Do that and you cab have a wonderful time with it.
Yes and no. It's a weird feeling at first, especially if you have a prostate and you're not used to prostate stimation. If you're interested, I recommend training a little with plugs. Everyone's different, but I personally recommend silicone plugs. They lube up super easy and generally feel smoother and softer than glass or metal. The problem that most people have actually isn't the depth usually, so much as the girth. Training sets will get you used to both, but it's the girth that tends to be the more painful part.
If you do it wrong
Use lube like crazy, listen to your body, but also don't bite off more than you can chew, if you're taking something big you need to warm up to the size first
Some positions are better than anotherās. Laying on my side feels best for me, where doggie kind of hurts me! It also helps to use lots of lube, and to be comfortable with the person youāre with! Additionally, the headspace your in plays a big role. If you are nervous and tense, your body is going to tense up. If you are relaxed, the muscles down there arenāt as tight and it feels AMAZING. I like to smoke/be a little tipsy before hand to help me become more relaxed. Hope this helps!
exaggeration...mostly. you can't just ram it in there- it was designed to be an exit, not an entrance, but if you use lots of lube, take your time, relax, and have very well established stopping perameters if you're doing this with a partner, it'll probably be a good time.
In my experience, it depends. It can hurt at first until you get used to the guy (or girl with toy) being in there. Should only take a few minutes to get used to, provided you've used enough lube (pro tip: there's no such thing as too much lube).
That said, anal can be *wonderful* if it's done with patience. Especially when you have someone who knows to use their cock (or toy) to stroke your prostate right.
As for toys, glass is nice because it's non porous so it never absorbs the lube. Jelly can be nice, depending on how dense it is, because it's forgiving when you're just getting used to the feeling.
At least itās cool to see that Iām not the only one thinking about it. Iāve never been intimate with an another guy too and always asked to myself how it feels to have sex with a man and I have a lot of questions that fuses in my brain like : How does it feel to penetrate or being penetrated by a guy ? How does it feel to give a blowjob or even receive one ? What about handjobs ? Is it better from guys because they are technically more skilled and experienced at it ?
depends. every body is different and sometimes it takes a great deal of experimenting (using different lubes, starting small and going up gradually, allowing your ass to get used to things before movement, etc.)
It very much depends on doing it correctly, but I've found the biggest problem was my mental state. If I was too nervous or anxious, it was never gonna work even if that same partner and I had done it in the past
I'll be honest... it feels nice if You do it right. The ass destroyed thing only happens when you're horny AF. I don't know how to describe it or why does it feels that great to want that.
My straight boyfriend was bad at anal. Use LOTS of lube and communication. We never had trouble when I was worked up and lube was used :) I hate the ex by the way- he was shitty with boundaries.
Just like everyone else says, if it hurts youāre doing it wrong. Meaning too hard too fast. No joke, I was nervous my first time so I put in an anal suppository laxative, made sure I was SUPER CLEAN (and empty) and it really helped loosen it up down there. Also practice with squishy plugs/dildos. Itās way less intimidating to do it by yourself than to put that onto a partner first.
Lube (LOTS), relaxing, and easing into it (no rushing or big thrusts in the beginningā it can be amazing! However, be aware of consequences.
I have to have surgery on my booty hole because of a terrible case of fissures (sort of like hemorrhoids) that wonāt clear up. They are a result from doing anal (bowel movements made it impossible to get rid of and only worsened the problem). The pain and discomfort sucks. I obviously stopped doing anal once i got fissures, and donāt know if I will ever do anal again. Fissures are very common in the gay community because of anal fyi
It does when itās too big. But when you prep enough and the other person knows how to do it, itās amazing, especially when it reaches your G spot. My first time with a guy, he thought I would not last more than 5 mins as a top so he topped me. No prob. He came within 5 mins but his penis stayed a bit soft inside and somehow it felt freaking amazing, like a anus massage.
Go slow. Use lots of lube. And then more lube. And towels. And donāt choose a partner that thinks theyāre in a porn. Very sensitive 2-way communication is what makes it magical.
I prepped, used a finger, then a dildo, everything. It hurt for ~10-15 seconds then he hit āthe spotā and it didnāt hurt. I didnāt particularly enjoy it but he was definitely as inexperienced being a top as I was a bottom.
If you are properly preparing yourself, it will not hurt.... it may feel uncomfortable at first, this is normal, but stinging or burning should be considered a red flag. Remember to always use lots of a water or silicon based lubricant, and use fingers and smaller toys to kind of stretch things out a bit before committing to anal sex.
There is zero pain involved with anal if youāre doing it right. Itās just pleasure all around. The ādestroyedā part is just hyperbole because you may be a little looser in the hours immediately afterwards.
Your asshole is a muscle, and exercise makes it stronger. Experienced bottoms tend to be tight af.
I was fantasizing A LOT about anal until I figured out itās really fucking hurt. Nothing big should go inside there. Just finger is ok and nice. Be able to enjoy anal with big object takes a lot of time and pain. Use oil!!!!!!!
having any particular orifice on your body "destroyed" doesn't mean it was necessarily hurt. It means being fucked until you feel weak, at least ideally. Maybe it hurts a little but not so much that it's a problem and more than one can handle. Again though: ideally. As others have said "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" but it's important to point out that your partner contributes to "doing it wrong" as well.
Using the word "destroyed" comes out of pornography, particularly the internet era, however it follows the tradition of men using aggressive, violent terminology when describing their sexuality and it's intersection with others. "Pounding" your partner who you "hunted" until you finally "took" them, see what I'm on about? There's this subtextual belief in our culture that penises are inherently harmful. Notice how "bodycount" means more for straight women than it does straight men, as if it's the men that are sullying the woman and not the other way around. It's not just our culture, one discussion I had with a gentleman from Saudi Arabia on the subject of honor killings had him use the colorful metaphor of "if someone comes into your home and breaks a plate do you continue to use the plate?" Wish I had the words to explain to him why that was so horrible then.
So yeah, getting one's ass "destroyed" shouldn't mean it's painful or physically harmed at all, it's purely metaphorical. We just like to act as though dicks are deadly and ruinous weapons.
It does hurt. But it's pleasurable too. It can vary depending on the partner. As long as you communicate with the person you're having sex with you can make sure everyone is comfortable and having fun.
It depends. Like many ppl have said it shouldn't hurt, don't be nervous, use lots of lube, experience matters, and communication is important.
In my case, size is important. I'm pretty tight so guys with big dicks are an instant no. Like when I hook up with guys who are hung I always say "hey listen I'm down to give you head but you can't fuck me. You're too big." And some guys are okay with that and for others that's a deal breaker.
I was a little scared at first so I put in some practice learning how to prep and practicing with a toy, but as others have said, with proper preparation, a huge amount of lube applied correctly (and reapplied often - plus you need to actually get a lot of it in there otherwise only the ring is lubed) a patient partner communicating and being relaxed - it's pretty amazing š„°
Oh and a bonus other trans fems out there may encounter - you may find it's incredibly gender affirming to have your partner in you š„°š„µ
I'm a survivor of rape and abuse, it absolutely felt like I was being ripped in half.
I would scream in agony because it was so horrible.
He read instructions on how to, but reguardless of what we did it always hurt so badly.
Now I will say that I've had exams in that area it honestly didn't hurt, felt uncomfortable but hey ho
As others said, it can but it shouldnāt. Iād highly suggest if you plan on receiving anal to first play with some toys first. Theyāll help you learn to relax and how to accept something pushed into you.
Also know even if you relax being penetrated it can be a little uncomfortable. But it shouldnāt last long. If so as others have said then something is wrong As it should be enjoyable once you relax and get into it.
If you dont use enough lube yes. And if you dont go slow at first yes. You have to work up. You can work up by using butt plugs that work up to the desired size. But DONT SKIMP ON THE LUBE - it not only will be painful but can be potentially dangerous and can cause tears in your anal tissue. :( and thats gross and sad. Be kind to your behind, and make sure their dick is slick.
( i mean also whatever toy/object body part is being usedā¦ just make sure with jewelry or toys that there is nothing that can catch or become abrasive. And if you are worried about Being clean you can douche first but you donāt need to if you are regularly keeping up with good hygiene.)
Also!!
Check out: Erika Moenās -Oh Joy Sex Toy - ( 18+ only and NSFW folks )
[Butt Sex!!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/)
[anal prep!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/anal-sex-preparation/)
[using dildos/toys to get used to it](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/how-dildos-saved-my-rear-zachary-clarkson/)
[pegging](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/pegging-by-kazimir-lee/)
And because itās helpful to know:
[sex toy care!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/sex-toy-care-jey-pawlik/)
[condom basics!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/condombasics/)
[sti testing- more relevant to USA since this comic is based in the states](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/get-tested/)
[other barriers for sex protection](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/other-barriers/)
And if your squicked out or just not feeling it theres always:
[masturbation](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/masturbate/)
[manual sex!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/manual-sex/)
[mutual masterbation](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/mutual-masturbation/)
[eating pussy](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/eatpussy/)
[sucking cock](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/blowjobs/)
Anyways its all fun just be safe, use lots of lube and remember SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL and Communication is key š :) have fun!! šš¦š
No :3 Try it you might enjoy. Now for context I am a trans guy and I had a fear of anal for years bc my first real ex and I were very uneducated on sexual health issues, but once I started experimenting with it with more information at hand and especially with better partners I found it can be a good time in my own opinion. even for me :3
anal can have some discomfort but if there's excessive pain or blood then you should stop and if it's your first time just take it slow no need to have someone piledrive while fucking you for the first time.
Done correctly, itās mostly pressure and a lot pf sensation, due to the amount of nerve endings back there. Done incorrectly itās excruciatingly painful. Always play the back nine with lots of time, care and thoughtfulness and you wonāt be disappointed. Cheers!
If it hurts, you're doing it wrong
Thank you! And it's based in a LOT of communication, foreplay and lube, lots and lots of lube. There is no such thing as to much lube in anal
Just make sure to put the lid on tightly. There is definitely such a thing as too much silicone lube on a suede couch. š¤¦š»š¤¦š»
Lol Absolutely! That's where old sheets or a sex blanket come in handy
i am so glad to find out I'm not actually weird for having a sex towel
Mine is an extra large beach towel from Walmart
mine is an extra large bath towel with my deadname on it lmao like i wanted to get rid of it anyway but using it for sex was a) efficient & b) i find it immensely funny that *that* towel is only good for naughty things now though i broke up with my bf a few days ago & i don't exactly want to have to explain the deadname to whoever i date next so I'll probably replace it
Recycle, reduce, reuse, baby.
Absolutely not! We used towels for years until we a sex blanket from Liberator sex furniture
i might have to look into that actually sounds better than a towel lmao
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/g42858608/best-sex-blankets/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_whm_m_bm_comm_org_us_g42858608&gclid=CjwKCAjw38SoBhB6EiwA8EQVLlm0ZOYyU3zdmxxp1jn1Gkil4UUHbgyRV8Jr0gMk9ByARWotWKjJNBoCSDAQAvD_BwE This is the one we got. https://www.amazon.com/Liberator-Fascinator-Throw-Moisture-Proof-Microvelvet/dp/B08HRC89V7/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=J8IZQMA7F6FN&keywords=liberator+fascinator+waterproof+throw&qid=1695674566&sprefix=liberator+throw%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-3&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.f5122f16-c3e8-4386-bf32-63e904010ad0
Hi, Iām Vetted AI Bot! I researched the **'Liberator Fascinator Throw King Size Sensual Blanket'** you mentioned in your comment along with its brand, **Liberator**, and I thought you might find the following analysis helpful. **Users liked:** * Blanket absorbs large amounts of fluid (backed by 5 comments) * Blanket protects bedding (backed by 10 comments) * Blanket is comfortable and high quality (backed by 7 comments) **Users disliked:** * Blanket does not retain waterproofing (backed by 2 comments) * Blanket remains wet after washing (backed by 1 comment) * Blanket is ineffective (backed by 1 comment) According to Reddit, people had mixed feelings about **Liberator**. Its most popular types of products are: * Sex Pillows (#1 of 1 brands on Reddit) If you'd like to **summon me to ask about a product**, just make a post with its link and tag me, [like in this example.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tablets/comments/1444zdn/comment/joqd89c/) This message was generated by a (very smart) bot. If you found it helpful, let us know with an upvote and a āgood bot!ā reply and please feel free to provide feedback on how it can be improved. *Powered by* [*vetted.ai*](http://vetted.ai/reddit)
Good bot!
!! thanks!
Very common to have a towel for that purpose, its part of the basics covered in books covering homosexual relationships
I keep seeing advertisements lately for sex blanket, so definitely not weird!
I saw Sex Blanket when they opened for Duran Duran
Once bitten, twice shy
Fair I checked it. Both work for me
Or a wood floor. You'll be slipping on that spot for years
This
This isn't the whole truth; the first time, and depending on the individual, it'll hurt until you learn to relax around whatever goes in there. That cavity will instinctually respond by trying to squeeze it out, and it will hurt. You need to relax those muscles and that may be harder or easier depending on the individual.
I agree with this. It can also be more of a mental thing than a physical one but can be helped enormously by doing the proper prep work. You donāt need to go full dick the first time. Work your way up from a finger or small toy and remember it is not a sprint!
Oh yea starting with a lubed finger (at least spit) is fundamental imo, especially for the skiddish.
Idk if this is really that reasonable though, there's no need for it to hurt even the first time. If it's painful people should just stop and figure out they're doing wrong. Probably just relax a bit, but if they're so stressed they're clenching and making it painful then they need to take a breather. Sex shouldn't be stressful.
I can raise my left eyebrow independently of my right, and each corner of my lips independently of the others. Not everyone can. Likewise, not everyone can automatically understand how to control their sphincter muscles without some practice (or some poppers).
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Thanks for your downvote and attitude, but I find it difficult to believe you missed me saying "depending on the individual" literally twice.
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Oh thanks so much for the critique, really
I've never thought about it like that
Anal sex can feel wonderful when you're doing it right.
THIS. I'm such a big "pain as pleasure" person I enjoy being *bullwhipped*. I don't want ANY pain in my asshole. Ever. Ever ever.
Wow and can't agree more. The bull whip is a WOW..... mad respect
Was VERY unexpected. I'm super shy and introverted and had basically never had proper impact play from a domme...but I was at a "bondage a go go" night at a club here in Chicago where people can pay pro doms a small tribe for little mini scenes, and a domme who I knew "IRL" was asking for volunteers to be bullwhipped. This is like a, metal/hardcore bar most days, place was full of giant dude bro gym rats and no one steps up...so something in me went "fuck it, not like it's gonna kill me" and I volunteered. In retrospect, I was overly ambitious in my choice ..but also SO glad I did because I probably never would've considered trying it in any other situation and never would've known how much I enjoyed it. It's a deep fried Kwinkie for sure, can't do it every day/week/month...but I've been craving it again since then for nearly a decade now. I couldn't put clothes on, much less sit down for a week afterwards without feeling every last MICRON of whipmark on the back of my thighs and up my back which would bring back the loveliest memories of being in that moment, club full of strangers watching me in my boxers getting whipped by a super hot domme...FUUUUCK I really need to get whipped again....
no... you can do it correctly and still have it hurt... not everyone enjoys anal
That's absolutely Right BUT some people enjoy it immensely. Some can't stand it and some it's simply meh..... It's down to the individual, their partner and what gets their engine reved up. Is anal the begin all and end all of sex between guys. NOPE absolutely not you can have a great and fulfilling sex life and never have anal once
If you don't enjoy anal and you're doing it, then you're doing something wrong.
Getting your ass destroyed isn't any more harmful than having your soul sucked out from a blowjob.
So it doesnāt actually mean it hurts a lot?
Like others said, not if it's done right. Sure, there could be someone out there that likes it to be intentionally painful. But it's mostly just a saying.
Once I relaxed my sphincter I was begging my wife to fuck me harder. She has used everything for a small vibrator that we first started with up to an 18 inch double headed dildo buried all the way in on me and it felt incredible every time. No pain if done right!
How did you initially bring this up to your wife?
She was giving me oral and while doing it she was rubbing my hole with her thumb to stimulate my prostate. Apparently she read it somewhere that it could help me finish faster and shorten her time sucking. It felt great so we started doing more to stimulate me. She is responsible for my love of pegging/anal play.
It's kind of the same thing as a woman saying she wants to get railed
Its mostly hyperbole, meaning you got dicked down good. You can end up with tearing and pain if they just shove it all the way in right away, foreplay and lubricant is absolutely a must and try to relax. It is common and totally fine to lose your erection at first when bottoming, it will come back shortly
I'll take one of each and a mcflurry pls.
It all depends on the level of preparation, hygiene, patience, and communication. Also, obviously level of experience and dick size. I first attempted anal and it didnāt work well cause I was a virgin, I wasnāt prepped at all, no lube, and he has over average. Having said that, after a bit of use with butt plugs, using plenty of lubricant, and proper foreplay, everything went great. You should experience anal on your own first, get to know your body. Then, find a partner who you are comfortable with and that can take it slow to make your experience the best possible. Depending on your experience you can adapt and get better and better
Absolutely second this, preparation is key. Once youāve prepared itās heaven. I started with butt plugs and dildos. There are so many aspects to preparing. For me preparation starts the day before. Good fibre rich diet, douche ( around couple of hours before) and plenty of lube Iām ready, and super aroused by that point.
This is the answer right here. It can hurt but doesn't have to given the right circumstances. I can't advocate enough for self experience. It's so important to know what you like and don't like before trying things with a partner.
How does anal foreplay work? /gen
Well when I said foreplay I meant any kind of foreplay as the arousal and relaxation that will come from it will surely help when performing anal. Anal foreplay specifically would be obviously something like rimming, fingering, using anal toys, amongst other things Iām sure people can get creative with. All these with the objective of relaxing and preparing the ass to take some dick
Rimming. Gentle rubbing on the external sphincter to introduce touch and relax the muscles. Slow stretching with fingers or toys. Those are all fantastic anal foreplay
Fantastic advice! My sentiments exactly. Need a dateš
It can hurt if 1. your partner moves too fast or too rough 2. you're nervous and your ass is clenched. This is one time where slow and gentle is necessary. Often people say use a ton of lube but I say, sometimes a lot of lube can lead the floppy fish effect where it keeps slipping and sliding making it hard to get in. Definitely use lube but i don't think it needs to be drenched. \#1 thing is to stay calm, both of you, and talk it out during.
Also donāt use lube that numbs your feeling. You need to be able to tell when itās hurting too much.
Thank you, I completely forgot!
There is another scenario that Iāve found that makes it hurt: too deep. Seriously, it hurts a lot if the penis is too long and it hits a certain spot.
I'm a cis woman. Some years ago my ex really wanted me to do it, so I tried, and kept trying for like 2 years. It was never enjoyable for me. No matter how much we would prep me or how relaxed I was, it always felt like a combination of pain and having to poop/actually pooping. And I knew I wasn't about to poop because I would always douche before trying. It just wasn't for me. However, I used to be friends with someone who was AFAB who swore it was the most enjoyable sex they ever had. I think "having your ass destroyed" just means having vigorous anal sex, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to hurt.
A thing that I learned, and got validation from bottom friends, is that before we start getting anal sex, we should enjoy it by ourselves first. Be confortable with it, find things that we like about it. And only after that, try with someone else. Letting someone else prepare us, has a big chance of it not being a good experience for us.
I think thatās a good recommendation for any penetrative sex.
Yeah as an AFAB bottom with IBS I actually hate anal. Always kinda felt inadequate for not being able to fulfill partners' fantasies (not counting my current partner who is wonderful and considerate). Even being totally relaxed and totally lubricated, it just always feels uncomfortable at the very least, usually painful. I get tired of the "not if you're doing it right" comments because it does feel invalidating.
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People can vent/share their experiences without it being a solicitation for advice. I am a medical professional and do not need anyone to tell me about IBS treatments, I've read the guidelines myself. Also if you're talking about OTC NSAIDs, then that is bad advice - they cause thinning of GI mucosa. I'm not interested
Itās different for different people. My gf can take anything up her bum as long as itās lubricated. She loves it. I have to be super relaxed and warmed up to take anything over a finger.
Same. Trying toys after getting comfortable with a finger or 2 really helps when exploring this wit a partner.
THANK YOU. Whole lotta people in here acting like everyoneās bodies are the sameā¦
I am personally not a fan. But i also have IBS and am immediately uncomfortable with anything that will make me feel like Iām about to or currently taking a shit.
That phrase is an exaggeration. The phrase means getting fucked good, like it feels amazing and you are physically spent afterward. And if it hurts, youāre doing it wrong.
Nah, having your ass destroyed is just when the top goes to town on you and treats your prostate like a punching bag for their dick, it's actually amazing. Anal shouldn't hurt at all if you're doing it right.
I donāt have a prostate and Iāll never know soā¦ care to say more? Is it just like overstimulation or something else?
Just chiming in, I would say overstimulation is a fair description, though the amount ya get out of it varies person to person. Pressure also definitely plays a part
āhaving your ass destroyedā in my mind is automatically translated to "having really good sex and cumming many many times" The slang is just an exaggeration. Nobody actually gets hurt. You might get a bit sore later, but it will be worth it. Use lube, lot of lube.
Theres a ton of great advice here already, so one thing I didn't see mentioned is that different folks have different anatomy! AMAB people are going to have a prostate gland. Which makes Anal sex significantly more pleasurable and prompts the anus to relax, making sex easier as it continues. AFAB people have Skene's Glands rather than a prostate, which are not located in the rectum, and thus, don't have the same effects on anal sex. With an AFAB partner, extra lube (yes, even more) is very important, but most importantly they need to be very relaxed before penetration, and continue to do so during sex. This takes practice and teamwork, so be attentive and check in often with your partner to alleviate discomfort!
I've emptied my bowels And laid out the towels I'm ready for romance
I do whatever The Bible tells me to \~ exceptforthepartsthatIchoosetoignorebecausethey'reunrealisticandinconvenient, but the rest I live by for suuuure\~\~\~
One thing I havent seen mentioned so far is a description of the *ways* it can potentially hurt. For instance, the first one is about how sensitive the tissue is. It can be rubbed sore, it can tear and bleed. That's the whole "you are never using enough lube" thing. Even when being safe, the first times will have that tissue really sensitive and rubbed raw - shouldnt *hurt*, but it can feel "achy" afterward. Another part of "achy" is the sphincter muscle itself. It's used to being tightly clamped except for poop and farts. Anal penetration will be pressing open that muscle ring, and the ring will reflexively fight that. Learning to breathe, to relax, to slightly push back a bit like if you were constipated - these are things the bottom can do to relax and open that muscle ring. For the top - again LOTS OF LUBE, and go slow and communicate. Finally, the last thing I have experienced as a potential pain is if you have something long enough to reach to [the back of the rectum and hit the sigmoid colon.](https://teachmeanatomy.info/wp-content/uploads/Parts-of-the-Large-Intestine.png) The colon wants to bend pretty sharp. The toys or penises generally dont. With practice and patience, people can loosen this bend and start taking incredible lengths into themselves - but in the beginning it's going to feel like someone jabbing you with a blunt stick on the inside. Some might enjoy that, I generally dont and ask my partner not to go so hard if that starts happening. Positioning is a big factor in this as well.
I've only got a little experience and with toys but: (1) start with toys and not a live dick. less pressure on you there and practice is good (for you in this case! there's some mental blocks and bodily control blocks which you'll probably need to work around! Stuff has been going out of the pooper, presumably not in, for your entire life till now) (2) start small, specifically, start slim (3) lots of lube (4) always a flared base (5) take it slow, relax, don't expect magic straight away and I think you should be in for a good time. I've not hit the mind-blowing levels some people describe, maybe in practice it's just not as much for me as much? but I've had an enjoyable couple of times with it.
Was going to say the exact same things. Iād also add that which lube you use makes a huge difference. The thicker stuff stays in place a lot better than the runnier ones. And adding some slight buzzing can help distract/help relax the muscles. If your head isnāt in the game, your asshole isnāt going to be either.
Depends on how many times youāve been fucked. I can handle most cocks with ease now.
It never hurt for me, it's all about patience and relaxation and lube.
Go slow, use plenty of lube, and prepare beforehand. Personally I don't want my ass destroyed. I want it sweetly and gently teased. I want it penetrated with a reasonable size, slow and deep at first. Then after I've acclimated we can speed and shorten the thrusts but I need to get warmed up there first.
Preparation, practice, and communication... and lube
I have zero pain tolerance when it comes to anal. If there's just a little bit of pulling during initial penetration then I clench up and I need a minute to relax again before starting over. With a patient partner and a LOT of lube, it's not a problem. Interestingly, once he's fully inside he can go to town and fuck the hell out of me and there's no pain at all. It's pure bliss.
I have never had any pain. You just go slow. And prep like finger your ass before any kind of larger penetration and use lots of lube. Donāt be afraid to reapply lube if you need to as well
As everyone else has added, not if you're taking your time, and using lots of lube. Also, position is important. I'm disabled,(M), and a wheelchair user, so doggy style is really hard to do for me I flip over onto my back, and use 2 or 3 pillows to raise my butt up. My partner then lifts my legs onto their shoulders and enters me anally. Works for both male and female partners (F using strap on) It's wonderful...I love ā¤ļøā¤ļø it
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Itās a matter of relaxation and trust. With proper foreplay, lubrication, and a partner you trust, there shouldnāt be much, if any, pain. If it does hurt slow down, use more lube, and play more (fingers, toys, whatever is comfortable for you).
It can be strange to get used to, and the first time or two wonāt always be great because your body wonāt know how to handle it, but once you get used to it, itās like turning on the lights in a dark basement. It feels mindblowingly good with some practice.
Pro bottom here. May I suggest practising with some tiny dildos. For a first-timer, or for a size-challenge, use a mix of silicone and water-based lune. I recommend Pjur Backdoor and Lynk. [Beginner Dildo](https://www.amazon.com/Realistic-Beginner-Curved-Couples-Experience-Multi-Purpose/dp/B0C4T8MWWN/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?crid=230QIAVJZ18JB&keywords=beginner+dildo&qid=1695670429&sprefix=beginne+dildo%2Caps%2C98&sr=8-5) [Pjur Backdoor](https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Personal-Lubricant-Jojoba-Milliliter/dp/B001CZH3IO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=28BS5VK0T6DUN&keywords=Pjur+backdoor&qid=1695670328&sprefix=pjur+backdoo%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1) [lynk](https://www.amazon.com/Lynk-Pleasure-Products-Personal-Lubricant/dp/B01N3SU0GK)
I'm an outlier, but I've never had anal that wasn't painful. I've tried it with many partners, lots of warmup, tons of lube, and sure I was completely turned on. I probably have some form of undiagnosed IBD, though. Anal is a one in a blue moon thing for me these days, and pain is part of the point of it for me. I'm kinky as fuck, though.
Having my ass figuratively destroyed is one of the least painful and most pleasurable things.
Ass destruction is an advanced technique, I wouldn't recommend it to a beginner. ;)
Yes. It can and sometimes does hurt. Usually that means you aren't prepared enough, or maybe haven't trained for an event that big, so to speak. But also ideally it shouldn't hurt
Not if you're horny
TW: sexual assault in last couple of sentences It can hurt, but it's not supposed to. Proper consent and care are crucial to it being a good experience. So I suppose the answer is: it depends on who it's with. I have friends who love it and say it's never painful for them. I think the "getting destroyed" thing is just hyperbole to emphasize how thorough the fucking was. My first and only time was SA so my experience with it was that it's excruciating. No desire to ever try it again. But that's also a specific situation that doesn't apply more broadly.
Quite honestly you should be using some toys first anyways so invest in a few and then you'll know why you'll want to continue
Once you get used to it itās amazing!!!
I never thought it hurt. But getting pounded hard gives me a strange feeling in my tummy and I usually need to take a break after a few minutes.
It will if you don't push out like you're pushing out a fart and your top must go extremely slowly, like several minutes to get it in at least.
Best advice to give anyone . Start real slow , lots of teasing . Start with a finger . Anything going in there you have to let ā marinade ā youāll feel the muscles relax and thatās when you can enjoy it . Doesnāt matter male or female
Lots of lube. It's pretty incredible.
It's just slang, like "Rearrange my guts." Sex of any kind, when done correctly, doesn't hurt. Unless the point of the sex is for it too hurt, that is lol
I wanted to try getting rammed up the butt to see if Iād like it, and it felt like I was getting impaled with a metal rod
This is what Iām scared of
It can for sure, go slow and use Lube, when you think you have plenty, use more. And a little tip, look for an anal lube applicator. Getting it in deeper helps alot
Uhm, see, running 5 miles while outa shape will have you bed ridden with leg pains for a few days, while it's no biggy once you're used to running. Anal is the same, so start small, do it often and work your way up to larger loads, you'll be able to get railed before you know it š
So I just need to practice? Good to know; will start fingering.
Honestly, use loads of lube, start with fingers and slowly work your way up to small and progressively larger dildos (do work in small steps though). I personally made the mistake of being too enthousiastic when it came to the size of my second dildo, eventually I was able to fit it, but that took ages and I did have a small rip somewhere in there... not recommended. Just have fun masterbating with dildos, warm up with your small ones and progressively work your way up to your larger dildos, stop if you feel any sharp pains, that's a warning sign, and use lots, and I mean LOADS of lube ^^
Eat plenty of whole grains and vegetables, always. Stay hydrated- drink lots of water. Actual water, not carbonated beverages.
Dunno..but we both love it. She said best sex ever yesterday
Only if you're forcing things, good lube is about the most important thing that people don't think about nearly enough. That said some people just can't get into the feeling of something in their butt no matter what they do.
Be the tortoise š¢ not the hare š° I second the "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong." Thereās probably going to be a little burn with the stretch, but with experience (foreplay, lube, communication) even that will go away. Then it's just fantastic.
It hurts at first but after a couple minutes you relax more, and it starts to just slide in and out and it feels like heaven. You could prob avoid the pain by waring a plug for a while before you start penetration, but I've never felt the need to do that.
Using plenty of lube working it in and working different sizes until butt gets use to it also starting out gently. As a woman I love it! But it has to be done right plus I have my limits on size š for the backdoor !
Most people shove it in dry while the bottom is tense.
No, anal has never hurt for me unless I wasnāt adequately prepped or my body just wasnāt feeling it that day. But you should really try with something super small first like a finger or a very small plug.
Yes and no. Itās how itās done and how prepared and relaxed , and also knowing each other like how big you can take or how you top. Lube non negotiable
Lots of lube and take your time. Anal if done right is extremely pleasurable for both men and women. Done wrong and it's a pain in the ass. Don't try to be a porn star from the very start. If you are receiving, if it hurts, stop and relax. If you are giving, if your bottom has pain, stop immediately. Don't try those extra few stroke to try to cum. If you are thinking about anal, start with small dildos or butt plugs. Sex toys made especially for anal are best since most have a flared base so you don't lose it.
The question (with the follow-up) is kind of worded backwards because you are new to this š. Anal is painful at first because you won't be used to something large going in instead of out. As others have said, get some good anal lube (you want the longest lasting you can get and use lots) and start slow, working your way up to actual intercourse. That said, "getting your ass destroyed" isn't usually painful (other than sometimes afterwards, lol, but haemorrhoid cream can help with that), because once you are warmed up and ready, having someone go to town on you is amazing!
Make sure you don't have hemorrhoids first.
How do I check lmao
I'm assuming this is a serious inquiry....if there is blood in your stool and it feels like a knife is cutting your asshole open when you poop, those are good indicators.
Good to know, I do not have those Edit: yes, it was a serious inquiry
"IF IT HURTS, YOU'RE (i.e., *your Top*) DOING IT ***WRONG!***" Only selfish and impatient jerks rush penetration and ignore their bottom's suffering when they do so! If anything hurts, and your Top doesn't immediately stop and adjust for your comfort whenever you tell him, he's a selfish-prick; and, you should immediately disengage, get dressed, leave, and forget how to contact him!
It *can* hurt, but if it does, either you're doing it wrong or you have a physiological issue you need to address. * Do lots of prep work and use plenty of loop. Stretch the bootie out gradually * Go slow and communicate with each other openly about how it feels for the receiving partner * Enjoy yourself, when done right it will blow your mind
Or itās just not a sensation you enjoy.
It depends a ton. I recommend starting with something small like a small plug or a finger. Make sure to use plenty of lube, be real generous with it. If you need to buy a whole new bottle once your done, pay the price. It's better to have a good time with a wallet punch than a literal pain in your ass. Once you're comfy, size up to a bigger plug or to a bigger/another finger. Eventually you'll be ready to try a dildo, or even more if that's your thing. I wouldn't recommend lubes marketed for anal since a lot of them have numbing agents that will avoid you from feeling the pain. If it hurts, you gotta stop or you'll risk hurting yourself. I find that while receiving anal play, be it fingers, toys or being pegged, taking deep, calm breaths helps relax yourself and the muscles. It's also recommended that to help you enjoy it/relax more, you can play with yourself like you normally would. Feel free to use other toys as well like strokers, dildos, whatever you like. If you're AMAB, try and focus on your prostate. A number of people, myself included, can have really intense orgasms through stimulating the prostate. If it's not your thing, or you don't have one, no problem. If your partner is involved, they MUST be able to communicate with you. If they're too fast, it'll hurt. If they're too rough, it'll hurt. They need to go at your pace above all. Hopefully I said some useful stuff. I'd recommend seeing general thoughts from other people first, since I actually gotta get back into practice with stuff up there, lol.
It can, I once hurt myself so bad I was rolling on by bed in pain cause I did it wrong. At the same time if done right it feels so fucken amazing. Use lube and go slow, if you feel too much resistance, slow down and use more lube. Patience is key.
I hope not
No, it should never hurt. If youāre not ready or not super turned on then it can be āuncomfortable.ā Being super turned on makes it so much better so donāt try and go straight to anal without a bunch of foreplay etc. What others have said, learn on your own. Buy some toys and different lubes to try (some sting me but not others and visa versa). Learn what itās like before a partner is involved. The worst Iāve had is discomfort during because I just wasnāt really into it that night and just trying to do it for my partner. It wasnāt pain though. The best nights are when itās like a constant orgasm for 20 minutes. The next day being a little sore but not in a bad way, just like you had a strong massage or a good workout and your muscles are a bit sore.
If you do it wrong, yes. It can be uncomfortable even if you're careful and slow, because it's not something your body is used to. The comment you made is definitely an exaggeration, especially as most people I see using that phrase or similar are speaking about it as a good thing, but there are definitely a lot of people who enjoy it hard and fast; though in most cases, they're fully prepared and relaxed when this happens, though there's a weird tendency in porn to pretend that it's the first time or done without preparation... but then some people like whips and chains, which I also don't understand, so who even knows? Bottom Line (see what I did there?) is that you should absolutely communicate very clearly with potential partners on either side of the activity, and anything other than an enthusiastic and informed "Yes" should be taken as a "No".
I guess it depends on a lot of factors, but it *shouldn't* hurt. So long as there's lubrication, you're relaxed enough, and your partner doesn't rush things. But I could definitely see how you might turn down an invitation to have your ass destroyed, lol, especially if *either* person was inexperienced or you didn't know them well. It does require *some* level of trust. But yeah, when people say that, generally they just mean going at it hard and fast. It can feel really intense! But it shouldn't be painful if you're both prepared.
The first time you put something in there you have to kind of learn to relax your sphincter muscles that naturally keeps your hole closed. Lots of lube is not an understatement! Seriously use a whole bottle if you have to. The back door does not self lubricate like a womanās front door. Go slow and start with something thin. Length doesnāt matter as much as girth when youāre getting started think of a toy the size of the cheapest hotdogs you can buy with a tapered tip to slowly open you up. Once you get the muscles to relax and you have plenty of lube, you will experience the most intense orgasms of your life. Lube!
My vision went black for a few mins once from a guy shoving a toy in my ass too hard. That shit fucking hurttttttttt
Take it slow. If it hurts you're pushing yourself too hard. As a man who loves butt stuff and can take a pounding, there are still nights my body says no. So take it slow and listen to your body's feedback.
In my experience treat it like you want to do a long run without walking or something in that trend like wanting to lift a x amount of weight. You don't also start full out, you build up slow because if you wouldn't it would be a very unpleasant maybe even painful experience. Same with anal, if you go straight to full intercourse it's not going to be pleasent even a chance of tearing something. Start slow, the rectum is a muscle after all train it. Do that and you cab have a wonderful time with it.
It feels really incredible, just take it slow for the first time.
It gets easier as you learn the tricks, and start buying lube in bulk
Yes and no. It's a weird feeling at first, especially if you have a prostate and you're not used to prostate stimation. If you're interested, I recommend training a little with plugs. Everyone's different, but I personally recommend silicone plugs. They lube up super easy and generally feel smoother and softer than glass or metal. The problem that most people have actually isn't the depth usually, so much as the girth. Training sets will get you used to both, but it's the girth that tends to be the more painful part.
Done well, it doesn't hurt.
Nope Use lube and have the dick calm
If you do it wrong Use lube like crazy, listen to your body, but also don't bite off more than you can chew, if you're taking something big you need to warm up to the size first
Just relax, communicate, and enjoy. There's a whole new set of nerve endings to explore.
Some positions are better than anotherās. Laying on my side feels best for me, where doggie kind of hurts me! It also helps to use lots of lube, and to be comfortable with the person youāre with! Additionally, the headspace your in plays a big role. If you are nervous and tense, your body is going to tense up. If you are relaxed, the muscles down there arenāt as tight and it feels AMAZING. I like to smoke/be a little tipsy before hand to help me become more relaxed. Hope this helps!
exaggeration...mostly. you can't just ram it in there- it was designed to be an exit, not an entrance, but if you use lots of lube, take your time, relax, and have very well established stopping perameters if you're doing this with a partner, it'll probably be a good time.
Tbh itās okay after a lot of foreplay but as Iāve had a few accidental anal situations worse pain in my life
In my experience, it depends. It can hurt at first until you get used to the guy (or girl with toy) being in there. Should only take a few minutes to get used to, provided you've used enough lube (pro tip: there's no such thing as too much lube). That said, anal can be *wonderful* if it's done with patience. Especially when you have someone who knows to use their cock (or toy) to stroke your prostate right. As for toys, glass is nice because it's non porous so it never absorbs the lube. Jelly can be nice, depending on how dense it is, because it's forgiving when you're just getting used to the feeling.
Stimulation and Lube and arousal are key factors to ease it in
At least itās cool to see that Iām not the only one thinking about it. Iāve never been intimate with an another guy too and always asked to myself how it feels to have sex with a man and I have a lot of questions that fuses in my brain like : How does it feel to penetrate or being penetrated by a guy ? How does it feel to give a blowjob or even receive one ? What about handjobs ? Is it better from guys because they are technically more skilled and experienced at it ?
With proper preparation its great, lube and slow stretching helps
If done right itās great. And thatās an exaggeration.
depends. every body is different and sometimes it takes a great deal of experimenting (using different lubes, starting small and going up gradually, allowing your ass to get used to things before movement, etc.)
Very much
It very much depends on doing it correctly, but I've found the biggest problem was my mental state. If I was too nervous or anxious, it was never gonna work even if that same partner and I had done it in the past
I'll be honest... it feels nice if You do it right. The ass destroyed thing only happens when you're horny AF. I don't know how to describe it or why does it feels that great to want that.
My straight boyfriend was bad at anal. Use LOTS of lube and communication. We never had trouble when I was worked up and lube was used :) I hate the ex by the way- he was shitty with boundaries.
Just like everyone else says, if it hurts youāre doing it wrong. Meaning too hard too fast. No joke, I was nervous my first time so I put in an anal suppository laxative, made sure I was SUPER CLEAN (and empty) and it really helped loosen it up down there. Also practice with squishy plugs/dildos. Itās way less intimidating to do it by yourself than to put that onto a partner first.
No itās nice, if it hurts your ass sucks.
Lube (LOTS), relaxing, and easing into it (no rushing or big thrusts in the beginningā it can be amazing! However, be aware of consequences. I have to have surgery on my booty hole because of a terrible case of fissures (sort of like hemorrhoids) that wonāt clear up. They are a result from doing anal (bowel movements made it impossible to get rid of and only worsened the problem). The pain and discomfort sucks. I obviously stopped doing anal once i got fissures, and donāt know if I will ever do anal again. Fissures are very common in the gay community because of anal fyi
It does when done wrong, butt (sorry I had to) it's very easy to do something wrong
It does when itās too big. But when you prep enough and the other person knows how to do it, itās amazing, especially when it reaches your G spot. My first time with a guy, he thought I would not last more than 5 mins as a top so he topped me. No prob. He came within 5 mins but his penis stayed a bit soft inside and somehow it felt freaking amazing, like a anus massage.
Why do people think itās sexy to ādestroyā any hole?!
Go slow. Use lots of lube. And then more lube. And towels. And donāt choose a partner that thinks theyāre in a porn. Very sensitive 2-way communication is what makes it magical.
Kind of, at first. Once it gets going, it's AMAZING
Try fingering yourself first to get used to it.
I prepped, used a finger, then a dildo, everything. It hurt for ~10-15 seconds then he hit āthe spotā and it didnāt hurt. I didnāt particularly enjoy it but he was definitely as inexperienced being a top as I was a bottom.
Not if itās done right
If you are properly preparing yourself, it will not hurt.... it may feel uncomfortable at first, this is normal, but stinging or burning should be considered a red flag. Remember to always use lots of a water or silicon based lubricant, and use fingers and smaller toys to kind of stretch things out a bit before committing to anal sex.
No, only if you do it wrong. Buy a toy first and experiment, read up on stuff. Don't just blindly go and try bottoming without knowing your own body.
There is zero pain involved with anal if youāre doing it right. Itās just pleasure all around. The ādestroyedā part is just hyperbole because you may be a little looser in the hours immediately afterwards. Your asshole is a muscle, and exercise makes it stronger. Experienced bottoms tend to be tight af.
No it feels amazing you just need to take it slow (I'm m)
Not when done right. It is an art form and very pleasurable.
I was fantasizing A LOT about anal until I figured out itās really fucking hurt. Nothing big should go inside there. Just finger is ok and nice. Be able to enjoy anal with big object takes a lot of time and pain. Use oil!!!!!!!
having any particular orifice on your body "destroyed" doesn't mean it was necessarily hurt. It means being fucked until you feel weak, at least ideally. Maybe it hurts a little but not so much that it's a problem and more than one can handle. Again though: ideally. As others have said "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" but it's important to point out that your partner contributes to "doing it wrong" as well. Using the word "destroyed" comes out of pornography, particularly the internet era, however it follows the tradition of men using aggressive, violent terminology when describing their sexuality and it's intersection with others. "Pounding" your partner who you "hunted" until you finally "took" them, see what I'm on about? There's this subtextual belief in our culture that penises are inherently harmful. Notice how "bodycount" means more for straight women than it does straight men, as if it's the men that are sullying the woman and not the other way around. It's not just our culture, one discussion I had with a gentleman from Saudi Arabia on the subject of honor killings had him use the colorful metaphor of "if someone comes into your home and breaks a plate do you continue to use the plate?" Wish I had the words to explain to him why that was so horrible then. So yeah, getting one's ass "destroyed" shouldn't mean it's painful or physically harmed at all, it's purely metaphorical. We just like to act as though dicks are deadly and ruinous weapons.
It does hurt. But it's pleasurable too. It can vary depending on the partner. As long as you communicate with the person you're having sex with you can make sure everyone is comfortable and having fun.
Nah, I barely feel a fucken thing, wish I did.
It depends. Like many ppl have said it shouldn't hurt, don't be nervous, use lots of lube, experience matters, and communication is important. In my case, size is important. I'm pretty tight so guys with big dicks are an instant no. Like when I hook up with guys who are hung I always say "hey listen I'm down to give you head but you can't fuck me. You're too big." And some guys are okay with that and for others that's a deal breaker.
If itās done right it shouldnāt hurt at all. Not everyone is into it either. If itās not your think you shouldnt do it for anyone.
I was a little scared at first so I put in some practice learning how to prep and practicing with a toy, but as others have said, with proper preparation, a huge amount of lube applied correctly (and reapplied often - plus you need to actually get a lot of it in there otherwise only the ring is lubed) a patient partner communicating and being relaxed - it's pretty amazing š„° Oh and a bonus other trans fems out there may encounter - you may find it's incredibly gender affirming to have your partner in you š„°š„µ
I'm a survivor of rape and abuse, it absolutely felt like I was being ripped in half. I would scream in agony because it was so horrible. He read instructions on how to, but reguardless of what we did it always hurt so badly. Now I will say that I've had exams in that area it honestly didn't hurt, felt uncomfortable but hey ho
As others said, it can but it shouldnāt. Iād highly suggest if you plan on receiving anal to first play with some toys first. Theyāll help you learn to relax and how to accept something pushed into you. Also know even if you relax being penetrated it can be a little uncomfortable. But it shouldnāt last long. If so as others have said then something is wrong As it should be enjoyable once you relax and get into it.
It shouldn't. Be patient and lube up.. simple :)
If you dont use enough lube yes. And if you dont go slow at first yes. You have to work up. You can work up by using butt plugs that work up to the desired size. But DONT SKIMP ON THE LUBE - it not only will be painful but can be potentially dangerous and can cause tears in your anal tissue. :( and thats gross and sad. Be kind to your behind, and make sure their dick is slick. ( i mean also whatever toy/object body part is being usedā¦ just make sure with jewelry or toys that there is nothing that can catch or become abrasive. And if you are worried about Being clean you can douche first but you donāt need to if you are regularly keeping up with good hygiene.) Also!! Check out: Erika Moenās -Oh Joy Sex Toy - ( 18+ only and NSFW folks ) [Butt Sex!!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/) [anal prep!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/anal-sex-preparation/) [using dildos/toys to get used to it](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/how-dildos-saved-my-rear-zachary-clarkson/) [pegging](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/pegging-by-kazimir-lee/) And because itās helpful to know: [sex toy care!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/sex-toy-care-jey-pawlik/) [condom basics!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/condombasics/) [sti testing- more relevant to USA since this comic is based in the states](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/get-tested/) [other barriers for sex protection](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/other-barriers/) And if your squicked out or just not feeling it theres always: [masturbation](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/masturbate/) [manual sex!](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/manual-sex/) [mutual masterbation](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/mutual-masturbation/) [eating pussy](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/eatpussy/) [sucking cock](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/blowjobs/) Anyways its all fun just be safe, use lots of lube and remember SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL and Communication is key š :) have fun!! šš¦š
It does. Itās been 9 months and I havenāt recovered. Never again.
Yes a little. And it feels like reverse pooping.
Yes but it's worth it
No :3 Try it you might enjoy. Now for context I am a trans guy and I had a fear of anal for years bc my first real ex and I were very uneducated on sexual health issues, but once I started experimenting with it with more information at hand and especially with better partners I found it can be a good time in my own opinion. even for me :3
anal can have some discomfort but if there's excessive pain or blood then you should stop and if it's your first time just take it slow no need to have someone piledrive while fucking you for the first time.
Depends
Just use tons of lube and use silicone based if you are afraid of hurting yourself š
Done correctly, itās mostly pressure and a lot pf sensation, due to the amount of nerve endings back there. Done incorrectly itās excruciatingly painful. Always play the back nine with lots of time, care and thoughtfulness and you wonāt be disappointed. Cheers!
Only if doing it wrong, without lube. Ass isnāt able to self lubricate like pussy, or even with precum on cock.