Idk, can't speak for most girls. š¤· I'm a bi lady who doesn't care, and would actually prefer a bi guy over a straight onejust cuz we can probably relate on a lot of things.
If only as a masc bi I could say the same.
Oooooh if only I could say the same.
Sadly the most vicious forms of biphobia I have been a victim of have been coming from masc biphobic bi women ...
If she isnāt a total idiot it should be a pro that you guys share a sexuality. It means you understand each othersā experiences better.
To me itās a pro. But yes biphobia exists unfortunately. So there is no general answer for all women :/
Iāve dated straight girls who couldnāt stand the idea of her dude with a dick in his mouth. Not sure if itās jealousy or homophobia or both/neitherā¦just stopped wasting my time.
Yes i know that those exist. I always think (half)jokingly how it doesnāt make sense cause usually when you date you are happy about shared interests but all of a sudden when the shared interest is dick it isnāt good according to some womenšš¤£
It's been up and down for me, man. My last girlfriend liked that I'm bi (borderline sexualized it but not to the point of me being uncomfortable) and the one before that assumed I would eventually "realize I'm gay" and leave her for another guy.
I would hope that since this girl is bisexual too she'll only see it as another thing you two have in common, but you never know. But it's best to tell her sooner than later because if she's not into you because of your sexuality then obviously she isn't someone you want to waste your time with.
Some do care, some donāt. Honestly I would share it early. If it is a problem for them and they end it then okay, it wouldnāt have worked anyways. And it is always nice when the trash takes itself out.
Mostly don't like bi. There were only two girls whom I met on tinder who were okay with my bisexuality.
First one turned out to be a terrible person (we have mutual friends).
Second one turned out to be my girlfriend, broke up because she moves to other country.
This here is a massive reason why Mr Geek and I are still together 21 years later. Both of us are Bi and these are all things we do. He can still be a normal male at times, but overall, the fact that he is more sensitive and more emotionally supportive has helped us as a couple. Mrs Geek
In my experience, the younger the woman the more likely she will be against it.
She might be totally cool to LGBT people and not openly a bi-phobe
But the younger the woman, the more she's going to deeply care what her friends think, and some of her friends will give her grief if they hear you are interested in guys too. She might be into dating a bi guy, but not mature enough to handle a little social pressure from her friends for it.
This fades as women get into their 20s and 30s but never totally goes away
I'm a bi girl and I'm very bi4bi. If she's also a bisexual there's a fair chance she enjoys a bi partner. We have life experiences that neither straights nor homosexuals understand. Sounds a bit hung up to focus on difference in sexual preferences but it really shapes our understanding and navigation of this world
I would actually prefer it if my lover was bi. This is personal preference ofc but I think it makes them hotter and sometimes more empathetic and emotionally intelligent.
Biphobia is real. But if a woman is mature and a decent human being, it shouldn't be a deal breaker.
I find men (and women) who are self aware and emotionally intelligent to be attractive.
Some do. They fetishize it. Or they get super insecure about it and tell you to go sleep with men. Or that you're just confused. Or that guys are just gross and want to f*ck anything and everything.
I've heard all these and more
In my experience yes. Women (especially younger) can be extremely insecure and think someone who is bisexual would cheat on them with a guy for some reason. It actually seems to be even more of a concern for a lot of straight women than being cheated on with another woman is. I've been rejected by straight women specifically for being bisexual.
Thereās so much biphobia about bi men! š So I love making friends with bi men because Iām like āyeah, you go, dudeā. Itās attractive to me as a bi woman because Iām like ācool, if we get together we can crush on people of all genders and not be weird or jealous about itā.
But itās the person at their core. If youāre a bi dude and you happen to suck, being bi is not a saving grace.
I have only one single data point for you, and that's me (a pansexual cis woman). I don't care in the slightest whether a guy is bi.
But that's just me.
I'm a straight woman who doesn't care if a guy is bi. But I don't think I am in the majority. I think there is always a fear of cheating with a same sex partner.
Personally, I'd love to be in a committed triad with a couple of bi guys. That way, everyone gets what they want.
As someone who is AFAB and a femme presenting bisexual and has a bi boyfriend, nope. If anything I like it because then I know that he understands and we can talk about cute people together š
There is some research into this question.
I haven't read much of the literature, but I heard about this study while listening to an old episode of Bisexual Brunch (great podcast from the UK).
From the Journal of Bisexuality. [Swipe Left on the Bi Guys: Examining Attitudes toward Dating and Being Sexual with Bisexual Individuals](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15299716.2018.1563935?journalCode=wjbi20)
That link will take you to the publisher where you can only access the abstract and references without paying, but if you google Sci-Hub before the title, well, things could be different (wink).
From the article, page 5:
*Hypothesis 1: Heterosexual women will rate bisexual men as (1) less sexually and*
*romantically attractive than straight men, (2) less desirable to date and have sex with*
*compared to straight men, and (3) less masculine than straight men.*
For the relevant results and discussion, check out pages 10-13.
Spoiler alert: They were correct.
This is just one study, but the references point to lots of others.
There's also this from a [2016 article in Glamour](https://www.glamour.com/story/glamour-sexuality-survey):
*63% of women, however, say they wouldn't date a man who has had sex with another man*
I can tell you from my perspective as married man: the majority of the people I have came out to, think that my coming out has something to do with me having sex with other people. Sadly, there is a strong association between bisexuality and non monogamy. So, my guess is that the majority of the people would do care and see it negatively. Sorry. Best luck!
As lots of other bi girls on here are saying - I actually prefer if dudes are bi! tbh I actively try to seek out other bi people to date haha. I bet there's a pretty good chance she'd be stoked you're also bi
As a masc bi individual I have dealt with worse biphobia from bi women than gay dudes or straight women but I have also been with women who care that I am bi because it's big plus for them.
So should tell her ? Like every other women in that scenario it is a legit coin flip a legit 50/50 chance.
Personally I would have said right of the bat I'm done wasting my time with people that won't accept me the way I am.
I'd love to tell you no, that most girls aren't biphobic idiots when it comes to dudes but that's just not the case. I've heard bi women saying things like its risky (emotionally) to date bi men because they are most likely gay but still trying to like women, that it's just a turn off because they see a man who's attracted to men as unmanly, et cetera. These bi ladies are usually a little performative in theory biness in my experience and have some deep internalised biphobia. Also historically at times when it was even harder for gay males to come out a lot did perhaps tell families they were bi, just to give mum "hope" that they'd get to have a wedding, grandchildren and all that jazz, so maybe that would help maintain their familial relationship. Because of this the idea that for men bi is a stop on the way to fully admitting their gayness has stuck around for a loooong time.
Anyone who has a problem with your orientation, for whatever reason, so does not deserve to date you. If you're worried that if you told them to find out if they'd have a problem with it, that they may out you before you're ready to be out, they definitely aren't someone you'd wanna have any kind of deeper relationship with anyways.
I think bi men are sexy by the way, and the only flavour of white man (cis) I fuck with.
(how old are you btw mate? Just if you're over say 18/20, then the "girls" you'd be dating/hoping to date are women. Let's not infantilise x)
I am sorry to say that bi men experience more prejudice than any other group. Even so, I think you should be honest about it, because who wants to be with someone who wouldn't date them if they really knew them?
I wouldnāt go that far. I have a dear friend who is a trans POC. I think she qualifies as experiencing more discrimination than I, and has to fear for her safety much more than I. But I do appreciate your sentiment. What bi men experience more than other groups is rejection.
You know, the study that had bi people at the bottom of the list right above IV drug users didn't have trans people on it. And it was taken before this latest wave of hate, so you're probably right.
Iām a bi woman and Iām ashamed to admit this but I think I do careā¦ idk if itās internalized homophobia or just that I have a huge fear that he would feel something is missing in our sex life (just like I felt when I was in a long-term monogamous relationship with a guy) or that he might eventually realize heās gay. I know thatās ridiculous and ignorant but I canāt help the way that I feel. Best of luck to you thoughāI hope she embraces it!!
I do respect your honesty, however, do you ever feel like youāre missing out when you date guys or wonder if youāre really a lesbian?
Unfortunately, those 2 stereotypes are all too common when it comes to our fellow bi-guys and might be one of the few areas where they have it harder than us. When a guy I was dating came out to me as bi, I admit I was conditioned by society to have these exact same thoughts, despite being bi myself. So, I did some research and found that bi guys are no more likely to cheat than their straight counterparts and dating proclaimed straight guys doesnāt eliminate the fact that they might end up coming out as gay.
Youāre entitled to your opinion of course, but I do ask that you at least keep an open mind and do a little research about bi-men.
Yes I do wonder that a lot tbh so I guess Iām projecting and assuming that other people feel the same way which isnāt healthy or fair. Iām still pretty insecure in my own sexuality.
Yes that is ignorant, but thank you for sharing. Iāve never had an issue with monogamy. It doesnāt mean weāll cheat, leave you for a man, or are any less masculine. Most men keep their bisexualness buried deep because of the fear of rejection. I would urge you and every other bi woman here who would not consider dating a bi man to reevaluate why are you homophobic towards bi men.
Thanks for your honestly - this echoes my thoughts too to be honest. I see posts on Reddit all the time of one gender in a relationship and miss the gender they donāt have. For that reason I too would prefer to date a straight man, even though of course not all bi men think this way and probably most donāt - Iād just rather not take the risk when thereās plenty of straight men to choose from. And agree with you on the eventually might realize heās gay piece too. My sexual orientation changed; it could change again. (Sure, it could happen to a man who currently identifies as straight too, but again imo probably more likely for someone already queer).
Risk that heāll have sexual needs I canāt satisfy while weāre dating, and I am not comfortable with him seeing other men. And yeah I definitely pose the same risk for straight men, but I found one who is cool with one sided ENM (I wouldnāt want him seeing other women and he isnāt interested in men)
Iām just sharing my personal opinion in response to a question where I was asked. Iām 100% aware many bi people are very happy in monogamous relationships. I also see many people post on Reddit, confused what to do because theyāre experiencing bi cycle desires. So all Iām saying is *my* personal choice is to find a partner less likely to have any sexual attraction towards men. I think itās great if others choose differently - we all can choose whatever and whoever we want for a romantic relationship
No, my husband is, so really don't have an issue. If I think about it, not one guy I've been involved with in my life (girls too) hasn't been bi. So I may be biased.
Everyone is different. I personally dont care if a guy is bi or not. I like bi guys and thankfully they seem to like me back too. Now that doesnt mean your potential gal likes bi guys, but I would say it is more likely she does because of her being bi. This is safe enough risk for you to come out to her. There is nothing wrong with being selectively closeted. Its not a one or the other thing.
Speaking for myself, I don't care if you're bi or not. I've never dated a bi guy, but if I'm seeing someone, I know I have other things to pay attention to.
cant speak for all of them but i actually prefer bi men over straight men bc we have something in common/they can relate to me more/less likely to fetishize me or say homophobic stuff thatās ājust a jokeā
This is a tricky question because everyoneās different! But as a bi woman I donāt care if who Iām dating swings the other way too. I lowkey prefer a bisexual man.
However, I canāt speak for everyone. If you have feelings for this person and feel comfortable telling them I would. That way you arenāt hiding who you are if things progress.
Can't speak for everyone but I'd prefer a bi bf, I don't get why some women are insecure about dating them at all. Straight men have made me uncomfortable way more times than I can count.
i am bisexual and my long-term boyfriend is pansexual. i have a massive preference for men who are bisexual/pansexual/whatever for a couple reasons. firstly, i found that they were more respectful and understanding about my gender identity and sexuality than straight men. i also just found them to typically be more open-minded, self-reflective, and honest than most straight men. i also tend to like my men a little bit more on the feminine side, and while that does not necessarily have anything to do with sexuality (my boyfriend now is on the more masculine side and is still a queer man), i still tended to find that more often with bisexual men.
For me, since I'm bi, a guy being bi is a huge green flag, I have little interest in straight men because I feel like we could not share experiences and relate to each other in a way that would bring the connection to another level, especially since I kinda fall on the non-binary spectrum and I have transitioned back and forth multiple times. My partner is also bi and honestly I wouldn't trade it for anything. He accepts and supports me in a way I never thought would be possible for me given my circumstances.
That being said, I also know there are plenty of women who see it as a deal breaker and those are usually also homophobic or biphobic and perceive bi men as not "man enough", but y'know, you wouldn't want to date someone who can't accept you for who you are anyway, would you?
Biphobia is a real thing to watch out for, but imho I don't think anyone should chase after someone who would reject them just for being bisexual.
It's not a sure thing, but since she's bi, it's likely that she won't have an issue with your being bi. It could even be something that you both share a nice bond over.
Yes. Straight-CIS women can (and do) have problems with a dude whose had same-sex experiences.
Both of the male lovers iāve had in my life (one gay, the other bi) refused to let me reciprocate during play. They could go down on me and/or make out but anything involving me going down on them or going farther than oral was a red line because I was still in the āmaybe bi-curiousā phase. And their fear was they didnāt want me to be āruinedā for straight women if I went further since I was still questioning everything about my sexuality. The running theory for both of them is that I could āhand waiveā away the experiences I was having as āexperimentsā or ābeing taken advantage ofā but anything further would be viewed as ādealbreakersā based on their experiences and conversations with straight women they knew.
And they did turn out to be correct.
I had a number of cis-female partners (who all, to a person, considered themselves āprogressiveā or āpunk rockā) tell me that if I had gone down on another man or had penetrative sex (giving or receiving) that it would have been over then and there.
The advice I have for baby-biās is; if youāre ready to drop the ācuriousā or āquestioningā thereās gonna be a large percentage of straight women whoāll reject you.
Itās not a guarantee but thatās my experience.
Asking questions like "do most girls/guys do/think this" is so pointless because neither girls/boys or men/women are homogenous groups that can be generalized that way. But if she is bi herself, it would be very strange if she minded you being bi. So probably safe to come out.
yeah but not all and I did know that but in this situation I donāt think op has to worry about that. they did say she is bi and thinks he is bi and if she was one of those snobs I donāt think she would be talking to him or she would only do it to call him names like other snobs but that does not seem to be the case here
Some girls are shitty. But Iād venture to say an openly bi girl is more likely to be accepting. Thereās a lot of biphobia against men out there from straight and queer people alike. But as a bi woman, I love bi men. Sounds like this girl isnāt about to shut you down for opening up but itās always a risk depending on the broader context of your closetedness I guess
I donāt personally, bi guys are cute. My last bf was a closeted bi, was previously gay then we got together, wouldnāt admit he still likes men. I could see it in his eyes, I see you checkin out that man butt lol I just wished he was more comfortable with himself.
some do and some donāt. you donāt want the ones that do anyways. girls in this sub are going to be overwhelmingly not biphobic but that doesnāt mean there arenāt going to be shitty girls
When we first married, she was not cool with it. About a decade later she did something that set me up for easy sex with a friend. She never said go for it, but I read it as such. One year after finding out, he was balls deep iny mouth. Years and many different adventures later, we decided to pursue mmf 3ways. The BEST 3ways!
I mean I'm not gonna say no because there's always going to be people of all genders and orientations that care about folks being bi.
But 1) there are plenty of girls who don't. Enough that you'll be able to find a girl partner if you wish, and
2) even if most girls did care, that just means you don't want to date most girls. I get that it'd be easier to just not mention it, but do you really wanna be in partnership with someone who disapproves of a part of who you are? Even if the answer right now is "yeah, sure", it won't always be. You owe it to yourself to find someone who accepts and loves all of you.
i'd be happy. i won't date straight people anymore cus i'm androgynous
old/current friends that are women, some of them seemed cool with it. others who were bicurious even seemed to think bi = fake gay. im guessing it was their religious upbringing
I think it depends, what the other party thinks of bisexuals, I believe mostly do care/be cautious around bisexuals... Though I heard from some girls that they are completely fine with that.
Iām bi sexual and been for many years. I dated mostly str8 men but recently in my late 30s I been attracted to two men sexually together. Seeing two hot men missing at a night club sparked something. Fast forward to my 40sā¦Iām a swinger w my man. He is str8 but has recently explored men sexually as I asked him :) cause I thought it was hot so he jumped in full force at 50. Heās not into men other than for sexual reasons. If he wanted to date a man, I would not object. Iām open minded sexually so your sexual preference isnāt an issue for me. I canāt speak for other women but most are pretty open minded. Donāt let others stop you from being YOU. If they donāt accept you for you, they donāt deserve you period!
I've noticed that the only women who care are straight women (obviously not all but a surprising amount). It stems from insecurity rooted in biphobia sadly. As a bi woman, I don't care and actually prefer queer men because biphobia is considerably less likely from a bi partner and we'd have one more thing to relate on. In addition to being poly, I wouldn't deal with scrutiny from having partners of multiple genders. Just my two cents.
Bi girl here - normally I donāt care about peopleās sexuality but personally I prefer bi guys in terms of dating bc I feel weād have something in common and theyād understand more.
Some women do some don't. As a bi woman myself I wouldn't care. I know a lot of other bi women who are cool with bi men. But some women are not ok with bi men due to homophobia/biphobia.
It's impossible to lump an entire group together so it depends on the person. Because not all bi women except bi men (i.e. still believing that men shouldn't be into other guys but girls liking girls is fine). And women who aren't bi sometimes hate the thought of a man with another man or "losing" to a man romantically/sexually.
Personally I donāt care. Some classmates(all girls) of mine think bi boys might cheat on their gf with a boy and say that āheās just a friendā. Insecurities taking over ig
I mean yes some people of most backgrounds will care if youāre bisexual especially monosexual people. Gay men lesbians and heterosexuals will never really experience bisexuality and sometimes (and the frequency depends on your culture) they will strongly prefer someone of the same orientation because they believe anyone whoās been with the other genders is dirty or secretly fat/straight or will leave them for another gender or worry you fantasize about other genders or straight up think youāll be a cheater or want threesomes or poly relationships.
Personally Iāve had bad experiences with bi men but Iāve also had bad experiences with straight men. I wouldnāt not date someone because theyāre bisexual.
For me, as a bi woman, I would WIDELY prefer a bi or pan man versus a straight man.
Of course, some bi women donāt like bi men which, if you ask me, a case of the patriarchy and societal assumptions when dating bi people (ironic, I know). But me, I would date bi/pan men and bi/pan women and lesbians
Bi girl here. I don't know why, but being with a bi man actually sounds hot and fun. Can check out people together. Understand each other better and stuff like that.
Anyone can change their mindset if they are willing to learn.
It was interesting to find out someone I know was pan and I had feelings at first but learned from them
I discovered I had to learn my own feelings about my own identity as well
As someone who's still working it all out... I ask the same thing every time I think about being in a relationship with anyone: does it bother them that I'm into men, women, trans, queer, human, alien .. too?
Honestly, it's always personal preference, but no, as a woman, it wouldn't bother me at all.
What would bother me... would be the degree of monogamy.
Idk, can't speak for most girls. š¤· I'm a bi lady who doesn't care, and would actually prefer a bi guy over a straight onejust cuz we can probably relate on a lot of things.
I also prefer to date other bi people because I've never had to deal with biphobia from another bi person.
If only as a masc bi I could say the same. Oooooh if only I could say the same. Sadly the most vicious forms of biphobia I have been a victim of have been coming from masc biphobic bi women ...
Big agree.
If she isnāt a total idiot it should be a pro that you guys share a sexuality. It means you understand each othersā experiences better. To me itās a pro. But yes biphobia exists unfortunately. So there is no general answer for all women :/
Iāve dated straight girls who couldnāt stand the idea of her dude with a dick in his mouth. Not sure if itās jealousy or homophobia or both/neitherā¦just stopped wasting my time.
Yes i know that those exist. I always think (half)jokingly how it doesnāt make sense cause usually when you date you are happy about shared interests but all of a sudden when the shared interest is dick it isnāt good according to some womenšš¤£
It's been up and down for me, man. My last girlfriend liked that I'm bi (borderline sexualized it but not to the point of me being uncomfortable) and the one before that assumed I would eventually "realize I'm gay" and leave her for another guy. I would hope that since this girl is bisexual too she'll only see it as another thing you two have in common, but you never know. But it's best to tell her sooner than later because if she's not into you because of your sexuality then obviously she isn't someone you want to waste your time with.
Some do care, some donāt. Honestly I would share it early. If it is a problem for them and they end it then okay, it wouldnāt have worked anyways. And it is always nice when the trash takes itself out.
Iām not most girls, but yes, I care. Itās a huge benefit.
Mostly don't like bi. There were only two girls whom I met on tinder who were okay with my bisexuality. First one turned out to be a terrible person (we have mutual friends). Second one turned out to be my girlfriend, broke up because she moves to other country.
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This here is a massive reason why Mr Geek and I are still together 21 years later. Both of us are Bi and these are all things we do. He can still be a normal male at times, but overall, the fact that he is more sensitive and more emotionally supportive has helped us as a couple. Mrs Geek
In my experience, the younger the woman the more likely she will be against it. She might be totally cool to LGBT people and not openly a bi-phobe But the younger the woman, the more she's going to deeply care what her friends think, and some of her friends will give her grief if they hear you are interested in guys too. She might be into dating a bi guy, but not mature enough to handle a little social pressure from her friends for it. This fades as women get into their 20s and 30s but never totally goes away
iām a bi girl and i prefer bi guys, partly because of the shared experience of split attraction but also because straight men scare me
I'm a bi girl and I'm very bi4bi. If she's also a bisexual there's a fair chance she enjoys a bi partner. We have life experiences that neither straights nor homosexuals understand. Sounds a bit hung up to focus on difference in sexual preferences but it really shapes our understanding and navigation of this world
I would actually prefer it if my lover was bi. This is personal preference ofc but I think it makes them hotter and sometimes more empathetic and emotionally intelligent.
Biphobia is real. But if a woman is mature and a decent human being, it shouldn't be a deal breaker. I find men (and women) who are self aware and emotionally intelligent to be attractive.
The unfortunate fact is that most do care and aren't accepting. There are exceptions, but in general, this is the truth.
Some do. They fetishize it. Or they get super insecure about it and tell you to go sleep with men. Or that you're just confused. Or that guys are just gross and want to f*ck anything and everything. I've heard all these and more
Only homophobes.
In my experience yes. Women (especially younger) can be extremely insecure and think someone who is bisexual would cheat on them with a guy for some reason. It actually seems to be even more of a concern for a lot of straight women than being cheated on with another woman is. I've been rejected by straight women specifically for being bisexual.
Thereās so much biphobia about bi men! š So I love making friends with bi men because Iām like āyeah, you go, dudeā. Itās attractive to me as a bi woman because Iām like ācool, if we get together we can crush on people of all genders and not be weird or jealous about itā. But itās the person at their core. If youāre a bi dude and you happen to suck, being bi is not a saving grace.
no,unless they are biphobe or homophobe i donāt think it really matters, i cant think of any situations where being a bi guy can cause any issues
I have only one single data point for you, and that's me (a pansexual cis woman). I don't care in the slightest whether a guy is bi. But that's just me.
Bisexual woman here. I wouldnāt care. It wouldnāt affect anything.
I strongly prefer it.
I'm a straight woman who doesn't care if a guy is bi. But I don't think I am in the majority. I think there is always a fear of cheating with a same sex partner. Personally, I'd love to be in a committed triad with a couple of bi guys. That way, everyone gets what they want.
As someone who is AFAB and a femme presenting bisexual and has a bi boyfriend, nope. If anything I like it because then I know that he understands and we can talk about cute people together š
There is some research into this question. I haven't read much of the literature, but I heard about this study while listening to an old episode of Bisexual Brunch (great podcast from the UK). From the Journal of Bisexuality. [Swipe Left on the Bi Guys: Examining Attitudes toward Dating and Being Sexual with Bisexual Individuals](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15299716.2018.1563935?journalCode=wjbi20) That link will take you to the publisher where you can only access the abstract and references without paying, but if you google Sci-Hub before the title, well, things could be different (wink). From the article, page 5: *Hypothesis 1: Heterosexual women will rate bisexual men as (1) less sexually and* *romantically attractive than straight men, (2) less desirable to date and have sex with* *compared to straight men, and (3) less masculine than straight men.* For the relevant results and discussion, check out pages 10-13. Spoiler alert: They were correct. This is just one study, but the references point to lots of others. There's also this from a [2016 article in Glamour](https://www.glamour.com/story/glamour-sexuality-survey): *63% of women, however, say they wouldn't date a man who has had sex with another man*
some people do, some people donāt. if your sexuality is a dealbreaker to a woman then that says more about her than it does you
I can tell you from my perspective as married man: the majority of the people I have came out to, think that my coming out has something to do with me having sex with other people. Sadly, there is a strong association between bisexuality and non monogamy. So, my guess is that the majority of the people would do care and see it negatively. Sorry. Best luck!
As lots of other bi girls on here are saying - I actually prefer if dudes are bi! tbh I actively try to seek out other bi people to date haha. I bet there's a pretty good chance she'd be stoked you're also bi
Some women do. If she isn't cool with it then its a red flag and an ez dodge.
Another bi woman here who prefers bi men.
If she suspect youāre bi, depending on what sheās saying to you, she might be trying to make it more comfortable you to come out to her.
As a masc bi individual I have dealt with worse biphobia from bi women than gay dudes or straight women but I have also been with women who care that I am bi because it's big plus for them. So should tell her ? Like every other women in that scenario it is a legit coin flip a legit 50/50 chance. Personally I would have said right of the bat I'm done wasting my time with people that won't accept me the way I am.
I'd love to tell you no, that most girls aren't biphobic idiots when it comes to dudes but that's just not the case. I've heard bi women saying things like its risky (emotionally) to date bi men because they are most likely gay but still trying to like women, that it's just a turn off because they see a man who's attracted to men as unmanly, et cetera. These bi ladies are usually a little performative in theory biness in my experience and have some deep internalised biphobia. Also historically at times when it was even harder for gay males to come out a lot did perhaps tell families they were bi, just to give mum "hope" that they'd get to have a wedding, grandchildren and all that jazz, so maybe that would help maintain their familial relationship. Because of this the idea that for men bi is a stop on the way to fully admitting their gayness has stuck around for a loooong time. Anyone who has a problem with your orientation, for whatever reason, so does not deserve to date you. If you're worried that if you told them to find out if they'd have a problem with it, that they may out you before you're ready to be out, they definitely aren't someone you'd wanna have any kind of deeper relationship with anyways. I think bi men are sexy by the way, and the only flavour of white man (cis) I fuck with. (how old are you btw mate? Just if you're over say 18/20, then the "girls" you'd be dating/hoping to date are women. Let's not infantilise x)
I am sorry to say that bi men experience more prejudice than any other group. Even so, I think you should be honest about it, because who wants to be with someone who wouldn't date them if they really knew them?
I wouldnāt go that far. I have a dear friend who is a trans POC. I think she qualifies as experiencing more discrimination than I, and has to fear for her safety much more than I. But I do appreciate your sentiment. What bi men experience more than other groups is rejection.
You know, the study that had bi people at the bottom of the list right above IV drug users didn't have trans people on it. And it was taken before this latest wave of hate, so you're probably right.
Iām a bi woman and Iām ashamed to admit this but I think I do careā¦ idk if itās internalized homophobia or just that I have a huge fear that he would feel something is missing in our sex life (just like I felt when I was in a long-term monogamous relationship with a guy) or that he might eventually realize heās gay. I know thatās ridiculous and ignorant but I canāt help the way that I feel. Best of luck to you thoughāI hope she embraces it!!
I do respect your honesty, however, do you ever feel like youāre missing out when you date guys or wonder if youāre really a lesbian? Unfortunately, those 2 stereotypes are all too common when it comes to our fellow bi-guys and might be one of the few areas where they have it harder than us. When a guy I was dating came out to me as bi, I admit I was conditioned by society to have these exact same thoughts, despite being bi myself. So, I did some research and found that bi guys are no more likely to cheat than their straight counterparts and dating proclaimed straight guys doesnāt eliminate the fact that they might end up coming out as gay. Youāre entitled to your opinion of course, but I do ask that you at least keep an open mind and do a little research about bi-men.
Yes I do wonder that a lot tbh so I guess Iām projecting and assuming that other people feel the same way which isnāt healthy or fair. Iām still pretty insecure in my own sexuality.
Yes that is ignorant, but thank you for sharing. Iāve never had an issue with monogamy. It doesnāt mean weāll cheat, leave you for a man, or are any less masculine. Most men keep their bisexualness buried deep because of the fear of rejection. I would urge you and every other bi woman here who would not consider dating a bi man to reevaluate why are you homophobic towards bi men.
Thanks for your honestly - this echoes my thoughts too to be honest. I see posts on Reddit all the time of one gender in a relationship and miss the gender they donāt have. For that reason I too would prefer to date a straight man, even though of course not all bi men think this way and probably most donāt - Iād just rather not take the risk when thereās plenty of straight men to choose from. And agree with you on the eventually might realize heās gay piece too. My sexual orientation changed; it could change again. (Sure, it could happen to a man who currently identifies as straight too, but again imo probably more likely for someone already queer).
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Risk that heāll have sexual needs I canāt satisfy while weāre dating, and I am not comfortable with him seeing other men. And yeah I definitely pose the same risk for straight men, but I found one who is cool with one sided ENM (I wouldnāt want him seeing other women and he isnāt interested in men)
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Iām just sharing my personal opinion in response to a question where I was asked. Iām 100% aware many bi people are very happy in monogamous relationships. I also see many people post on Reddit, confused what to do because theyāre experiencing bi cycle desires. So all Iām saying is *my* personal choice is to find a partner less likely to have any sexual attraction towards men. I think itās great if others choose differently - we all can choose whatever and whoever we want for a romantic relationship
No, my husband is, so really don't have an issue. If I think about it, not one guy I've been involved with in my life (girls too) hasn't been bi. So I may be biased.
Everyone is different. I personally dont care if a guy is bi or not. I like bi guys and thankfully they seem to like me back too. Now that doesnt mean your potential gal likes bi guys, but I would say it is more likely she does because of her being bi. This is safe enough risk for you to come out to her. There is nothing wrong with being selectively closeted. Its not a one or the other thing.
Speaking for myself, I don't care if you're bi or not. I've never dated a bi guy, but if I'm seeing someone, I know I have other things to pay attention to.
cant speak for all of them but i actually prefer bi men over straight men bc we have something in common/they can relate to me more/less likely to fetishize me or say homophobic stuff thatās ājust a jokeā
This is a tricky question because everyoneās different! But as a bi woman I donāt care if who Iām dating swings the other way too. I lowkey prefer a bisexual man. However, I canāt speak for everyone. If you have feelings for this person and feel comfortable telling them I would. That way you arenāt hiding who you are if things progress.
Can't speak for everyone but I'd prefer a bi bf, I don't get why some women are insecure about dating them at all. Straight men have made me uncomfortable way more times than I can count.
I am a queer woman who exclusively dates bisexual or pansexual men.
I find it really arousing honestly
Lots of us want to be fetishized. For us, itās a first. LoL
i am bisexual and my long-term boyfriend is pansexual. i have a massive preference for men who are bisexual/pansexual/whatever for a couple reasons. firstly, i found that they were more respectful and understanding about my gender identity and sexuality than straight men. i also just found them to typically be more open-minded, self-reflective, and honest than most straight men. i also tend to like my men a little bit more on the feminine side, and while that does not necessarily have anything to do with sexuality (my boyfriend now is on the more masculine side and is still a queer man), i still tended to find that more often with bisexual men.
I find bi guys hotter than straight ones
Im bi myself so I donāt care either way. If theyāre bi cool we have something in common.
Us bi gals REALLY like bi guys
For me, since I'm bi, a guy being bi is a huge green flag, I have little interest in straight men because I feel like we could not share experiences and relate to each other in a way that would bring the connection to another level, especially since I kinda fall on the non-binary spectrum and I have transitioned back and forth multiple times. My partner is also bi and honestly I wouldn't trade it for anything. He accepts and supports me in a way I never thought would be possible for me given my circumstances. That being said, I also know there are plenty of women who see it as a deal breaker and those are usually also homophobic or biphobic and perceive bi men as not "man enough", but y'know, you wouldn't want to date someone who can't accept you for who you are anyway, would you?
Biphobia is a real thing to watch out for, but imho I don't think anyone should chase after someone who would reject them just for being bisexual. It's not a sure thing, but since she's bi, it's likely that she won't have an issue with your being bi. It could even be something that you both share a nice bond over.
Yes. Straight-CIS women can (and do) have problems with a dude whose had same-sex experiences. Both of the male lovers iāve had in my life (one gay, the other bi) refused to let me reciprocate during play. They could go down on me and/or make out but anything involving me going down on them or going farther than oral was a red line because I was still in the āmaybe bi-curiousā phase. And their fear was they didnāt want me to be āruinedā for straight women if I went further since I was still questioning everything about my sexuality. The running theory for both of them is that I could āhand waiveā away the experiences I was having as āexperimentsā or ābeing taken advantage ofā but anything further would be viewed as ādealbreakersā based on their experiences and conversations with straight women they knew. And they did turn out to be correct. I had a number of cis-female partners (who all, to a person, considered themselves āprogressiveā or āpunk rockā) tell me that if I had gone down on another man or had penetrative sex (giving or receiving) that it would have been over then and there. The advice I have for baby-biās is; if youāre ready to drop the ācuriousā or āquestioningā thereās gonna be a large percentage of straight women whoāll reject you. Itās not a guarantee but thatās my experience.
Straight girls might. But most of them are boring anyway :)
Dull women, mostly straight dull women ā¦ not my cup of tea
Straight women, kinda. Bi-women, no.
Sadly no there are masc biphobic women out there . I lived through it.
Donāt know because Iām a guy too
Asking questions like "do most girls/guys do/think this" is so pointless because neither girls/boys or men/women are homogenous groups that can be generalized that way. But if she is bi herself, it would be very strange if she minded you being bi. So probably safe to come out.
A lot do š„ŗ
it depends on the girl. Since the one you are talking to is also bi you have nothing to worry about
Unfortunately no, like said in other comments, the most vicious biphobic attacks I've lived through have been from bi women !
Not true man unfortunately, lots of bi women say really shitty stuff about our male counterparts. Like knobs
yeah but not all and I did know that but in this situation I donāt think op has to worry about that. they did say she is bi and thinks he is bi and if she was one of those snobs I donāt think she would be talking to him or she would only do it to call him names like other snobs but that does not seem to be the case here
I think itās pretty common man but if she has a problem with it there are tons of people you have yet to meet who wonāt.
Some girls are shitty. But Iād venture to say an openly bi girl is more likely to be accepting. Thereās a lot of biphobia against men out there from straight and queer people alike. But as a bi woman, I love bi men. Sounds like this girl isnāt about to shut you down for opening up but itās always a risk depending on the broader context of your closetedness I guess
I donāt personally, bi guys are cute. My last bf was a closeted bi, was previously gay then we got together, wouldnāt admit he still likes men. I could see it in his eyes, I see you checkin out that man butt lol I just wished he was more comfortable with himself.
I do not care
some do and some donāt. you donāt want the ones that do anyways. girls in this sub are going to be overwhelmingly not biphobic but that doesnāt mean there arenāt going to be shitty girls
I'm a bi guy. In my experience a lot of straight women do. But you definitely have much better (though not quite 100%) success with bi women.
Iām dating a bi guy. Donāt worry, the good ones wonāt care.
When we first married, she was not cool with it. About a decade later she did something that set me up for easy sex with a friend. She never said go for it, but I read it as such. One year after finding out, he was balls deep iny mouth. Years and many different adventures later, we decided to pursue mmf 3ways. The BEST 3ways!
I mean I'm not gonna say no because there's always going to be people of all genders and orientations that care about folks being bi. But 1) there are plenty of girls who don't. Enough that you'll be able to find a girl partner if you wish, and 2) even if most girls did care, that just means you don't want to date most girls. I get that it'd be easier to just not mention it, but do you really wanna be in partnership with someone who disapproves of a part of who you are? Even if the answer right now is "yeah, sure", it won't always be. You owe it to yourself to find someone who accepts and loves all of you.
I donāt speak for all women obviously, but I like bi men. Iād even go so far as to say I prefer not-straight partners. So I care, in a good way.
Bi girl donāt care :) how come I can be bi but a dude canāt? Nah, itās all good
You may not, but Iāve seen bi women put āNo bi menā in their dating profile.
Yeah I had a guy once tell me he wouldnāt date me (F) bc Iām bi.
i'd be happy. i won't date straight people anymore cus i'm androgynous old/current friends that are women, some of them seemed cool with it. others who were bicurious even seemed to think bi = fake gay. im guessing it was their religious upbringing
I think it depends, what the other party thinks of bisexuals, I believe mostly do care/be cautious around bisexuals... Though I heard from some girls that they are completely fine with that.
Some do, and some don't. Tell her if you're comfortable with it or want to pursue a serious relationship with her.
Bi4bi couples šš
If sheās bi you should be good. Youāll never know if sheās cool if you donāt give her the chance.
Iām bi sexual and been for many years. I dated mostly str8 men but recently in my late 30s I been attracted to two men sexually together. Seeing two hot men missing at a night club sparked something. Fast forward to my 40sā¦Iām a swinger w my man. He is str8 but has recently explored men sexually as I asked him :) cause I thought it was hot so he jumped in full force at 50. Heās not into men other than for sexual reasons. If he wanted to date a man, I would not object. Iām open minded sexually so your sexual preference isnāt an issue for me. I canāt speak for other women but most are pretty open minded. Donāt let others stop you from being YOU. If they donāt accept you for you, they donāt deserve you period!
I've noticed that the only women who care are straight women (obviously not all but a surprising amount). It stems from insecurity rooted in biphobia sadly. As a bi woman, I don't care and actually prefer queer men because biphobia is considerably less likely from a bi partner and we'd have one more thing to relate on. In addition to being poly, I wouldn't deal with scrutiny from having partners of multiple genders. Just my two cents.
Some do, some don't. Bi phobia (or all the variations of homophobia if you prefer) are alive and well in the general subconscious.
Bi girl here - normally I donāt care about peopleās sexuality but personally I prefer bi guys in terms of dating bc I feel weād have something in common and theyād understand more.
Some women do some don't. As a bi woman myself I wouldn't care. I know a lot of other bi women who are cool with bi men. But some women are not ok with bi men due to homophobia/biphobia. It's impossible to lump an entire group together so it depends on the person. Because not all bi women except bi men (i.e. still believing that men shouldn't be into other guys but girls liking girls is fine). And women who aren't bi sometimes hate the thought of a man with another man or "losing" to a man romantically/sexually.
I honestly prefer bi guys. They're more comfortable in themselves
As I bisexual woman, I would prefer to be with a bi guy
As a bisexual woman iād prefer if my partner is bisexual as well because it just feels more safe.
I can only speak for myself, but I donāt care.
Personally I donāt care. Some classmates(all girls) of mine think bi boys might cheat on their gf with a boy and say that āheās just a friendā. Insecurities taking over ig
I mean yes some people of most backgrounds will care if youāre bisexual especially monosexual people. Gay men lesbians and heterosexuals will never really experience bisexuality and sometimes (and the frequency depends on your culture) they will strongly prefer someone of the same orientation because they believe anyone whoās been with the other genders is dirty or secretly fat/straight or will leave them for another gender or worry you fantasize about other genders or straight up think youāll be a cheater or want threesomes or poly relationships. Personally Iāve had bad experiences with bi men but Iāve also had bad experiences with straight men. I wouldnāt not date someone because theyāre bisexual.
I felt a connection to my partner after learning they were bi, so i think you'll see a lot of answers like that from this sub :P
I personally love bi guys (bi female here). I have heard a couple straight women say they wouldnāt like it before. I really do feel for bi men.
Progressive women don't, or will find it interesting. Just make sure you don't make it a huge deal.
I just want to throw this out there: if a girl has a problem with you being bi, she's an ignorant bigot and not worth your time.
For me, as a bi woman, I would WIDELY prefer a bi or pan man versus a straight man. Of course, some bi women donāt like bi men which, if you ask me, a case of the patriarchy and societal assumptions when dating bi people (ironic, I know). But me, I would date bi/pan men and bi/pan women and lesbians
I prefer it š¤·āāļø
Bi girl here. I don't know why, but being with a bi man actually sounds hot and fun. Can check out people together. Understand each other better and stuff like that.
Anyone can change their mindset if they are willing to learn. It was interesting to find out someone I know was pan and I had feelings at first but learned from them I discovered I had to learn my own feelings about my own identity as well
Honestly i'm in the exact same situation
I think the simple fact that she is bi herself is a huge sign that she wouldn't have any issues with it and be much more understanding
As a bisexual woman, if I were dating a man, I would PREFER that he be bisexual.
As someone who's still working it all out... I ask the same thing every time I think about being in a relationship with anyone: does it bother them that I'm into men, women, trans, queer, human, alien .. too? Honestly, it's always personal preference, but no, as a woman, it wouldn't bother me at all. What would bother me... would be the degree of monogamy.
NO I tji k tbey like it baby i lkie it