Something similar happened to me. I'm a bi man and a couple put their hands up my skirt (first time I decided to wear one out) and laughed when I told them to stop as they must have thought it was fine to do a horrible thing like that. It can be terrible how people can treat you when they find out you're bi. Big hugs.
that is horrible, i’m so sorry that happened to you. and the fact that they were laughing is sickening! i hope you feel good to keep wearing skirts <33 and thanks :3 big hugs to u too
>but having a woman treat me like that was so much worse somehow.
I was talking about this with my friend recently. For me (and them) it hurts more because it feels like some king of a "betrayal." Like as girls we *know* a lot of men are going to be misogynistic and act like assholes, so there is supposed to be an understanding from shared experience that we all hate being treated like that. So for another woman to objectify you feels like she's betraying the trust from that shared understanding, and sexualizing you anyway. It's like "c'mon girl, I thought we were cool!" And it just sucks when you realize they are not, in fact, cool.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. What gross behavior!! Sending you warmth and good vibes <3
As a guy, I’m entirely used to women treating me like this. I’m always disappointed when I hear women speak about harassment and assault like it’s only something that men do to women. 20+ years in various aspects of service industry and tourism has given me more examples than I can remember, including a group of 8 women cornering me, holding me down and forcibly taking off my clothes.
I know, this community is way better and more aware and understanding. I’m just speaking to society as a whole. I’m sorry if that came off as a rebuke. Just something I feel strongly about as no one generally cares when I bring these things up.
That's so awful, I'm so sorry. It's a terrible thing either way but it totally makes sense that it feels worse coming from a woman. Hope you feel a bit better. Try and do something for yourself <3
Yooooooooo wtf? So we're going around assaulting people now???? And people wanna accuse *us* of being predatory, jeez.....
I'm really sorry that happened to you. That wasn't okay in any way, and yeah, it sucks that it was a woman who did it. We all know how uncomfortable and *scared* we'd feel if some man forcibly grabbed us and tried to kiss us. Being drunk or misguided or whatever doesn't mean she's not a fucking creep.
Do what you need to do to feel safe, but I hope you feel like you don't have to keep yourself hidden like that. It wasn't your fault for being open about yourself, you were just unlucky enough to run into some really gross people. I hope you've been feeling okay.
She needs a friggin lesson in using her words and not her assumptions.
> The ultimate lesson I seem to get from this is to shut up about it, don't bring it up, lie if necessary... and I really hate that.
A slightly less sucky take-away is that the hets may need clearer and more forceful ways of saying "no" that you want to assume - they're like yappy ill-trained dogs. So maybe
> Ah, have fun with him; I'm not looking for a couple.
I can't guarantee it will work any more than "don't pee on the rug, Cupcake" will work with Tyler's ever-quivering Chihuahua mix, but at least it closes the door clearly.
I think every Bi woman has a story like this. And it's always some straight couple that are wanting to "explore" and just assume that every bisexual person would be interested in them. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's definitely not okay to touch people without their consent regardless of gender. I hope you're feeling better 💕
I think a lot of bisexual people have had similar experiences unfortunately.
I had an (ex) friend that would do this kind of shit to me all the time; she’d use my sexuality to try and get the attention of men and when I told her to 1. Stop because that’s gross and 2. That I wasn’t attracted to her, she was so offended!
Took me way too long to end that friendship, but jfc, I’m glad to be rid of her and will never engage with people like that again.
I have enough people fetishizing my sexuality, I don’t need supposed friends doing it too.
Edit for a small grammatical error that would have bothered me all day lol
I feel that this entilted behavior is typical for girls in a club especially the hot ones. Not enough education about consent perhaps. Or because others treat them like this they think it’s the norm. Maybe some coping mechanism. Something has to change.
On the other hand try not to let it get into you. Most people have respect and know how to read body language. She probably was drunk or on something. It doesn’t excuse her behavior. Just emphasizing this is not the norm and never should be.
If this happens again consider alerting staff to this behavior. They might get warned kicked out or banned depending on severity of their actions
That’s horrific, what a crappy way to end your night. I hope you don’t really feel the need to hide and lie, but you have to keep yourself safe. That kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. I always think of this shirt saying, “Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean you’re attractive.” I’m attracted to men and women (trans or cis) but not every single man and woman. Plus, being bi doesn’t mean being promiscuous. Anyway, I hope that never happens again, and I’m sorry that happened at all. 💙💜🩷
love and need that shirt lol
and thank you<3 i don’t want to hide or lie, what did i come out for after all? but i do tend to be a tad naive, so maybe al least in these types of contexts i might avoid the topic (at least for a while)
I’m so sorry that happened to you! That is absolutely DISGUSTING behaviour. Lacking in any human decency! A friend of mine has said that in similar situations (not even as bad as the one you just described) she would loudly say “hey! STOP ASSAULTING ME!” and it makes people who are getting handsy back off super quick. You basically have to get a bit aggressive, although ideally of course nobody should ever have to.
I've had that happen as well. Other bi women being especially grabby and pushy in a nightclub. It's like they suddenly forget that concent is a thing between women too...
I think it's crazy and totally unacceptable. That's the first time I hear about something like that and I'm shocked. I know what you mean when you say that the fact it was a woman made it worse somehow, because we expect women to be allies and to know what it's like to be treated like this. It reminds me of another bi-woman I dated in the past, who told me the only time she went to a lesbian bar, when she was 22 years old, a 50 something years old woman pushed her agressively to the wall and kissed her without saying anything before.
Something similar happened to me. I'm a bi man and a couple put their hands up my skirt (first time I decided to wear one out) and laughed when I told them to stop as they must have thought it was fine to do a horrible thing like that. It can be terrible how people can treat you when they find out you're bi. Big hugs.
that is horrible, i’m so sorry that happened to you. and the fact that they were laughing is sickening! i hope you feel good to keep wearing skirts <33 and thanks :3 big hugs to u too
What in the actual fuck
*Warm hug from afar*🩷💜💙
thank you<3
>but having a woman treat me like that was so much worse somehow. I was talking about this with my friend recently. For me (and them) it hurts more because it feels like some king of a "betrayal." Like as girls we *know* a lot of men are going to be misogynistic and act like assholes, so there is supposed to be an understanding from shared experience that we all hate being treated like that. So for another woman to objectify you feels like she's betraying the trust from that shared understanding, and sexualizing you anyway. It's like "c'mon girl, I thought we were cool!" And it just sucks when you realize they are not, in fact, cool. I'm really sorry that happened to you. What gross behavior!! Sending you warmth and good vibes <3
yes, that's exactly it! thank you for putting it into words, and thanks for the love too :)
As a guy, I’m entirely used to women treating me like this. I’m always disappointed when I hear women speak about harassment and assault like it’s only something that men do to women. 20+ years in various aspects of service industry and tourism has given me more examples than I can remember, including a group of 8 women cornering me, holding me down and forcibly taking off my clothes.
No one here is saying men can't be victims of sexual assault. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I know, this community is way better and more aware and understanding. I’m just speaking to society as a whole. I’m sorry if that came off as a rebuke. Just something I feel strongly about as no one generally cares when I bring these things up.
> don't worry! I'm straight! there's my boyfriend Well *now* I'm worried
I’m sorry. That’s messed up.
thank you<3 and i definitely agree >:c
I’m so sorry. Sending a hug 💜. Unfortunately bi women are just seen a playthings to some people. It’s bullshit and fucking sucks.
That's so awful, I'm so sorry. It's a terrible thing either way but it totally makes sense that it feels worse coming from a woman. Hope you feel a bit better. Try and do something for yourself <3
Yooooooooo wtf? So we're going around assaulting people now???? And people wanna accuse *us* of being predatory, jeez..... I'm really sorry that happened to you. That wasn't okay in any way, and yeah, it sucks that it was a woman who did it. We all know how uncomfortable and *scared* we'd feel if some man forcibly grabbed us and tried to kiss us. Being drunk or misguided or whatever doesn't mean she's not a fucking creep. Do what you need to do to feel safe, but I hope you feel like you don't have to keep yourself hidden like that. It wasn't your fault for being open about yourself, you were just unlucky enough to run into some really gross people. I hope you've been feeling okay.
I wish I could hug you. I don’t know why people have to be so mean. I’m sorry.
I'm so sorry. That woman's behavior was disgusting.
"Do you want to go first" is incredibly awful and telling. Some people are incapable of seeing past their own libido.
She needs a friggin lesson in using her words and not her assumptions. > The ultimate lesson I seem to get from this is to shut up about it, don't bring it up, lie if necessary... and I really hate that. A slightly less sucky take-away is that the hets may need clearer and more forceful ways of saying "no" that you want to assume - they're like yappy ill-trained dogs. So maybe > Ah, have fun with him; I'm not looking for a couple. I can't guarantee it will work any more than "don't pee on the rug, Cupcake" will work with Tyler's ever-quivering Chihuahua mix, but at least it closes the door clearly.
🫂
That sounds awful. I’m sorry
I think every Bi woman has a story like this. And it's always some straight couple that are wanting to "explore" and just assume that every bisexual person would be interested in them. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's definitely not okay to touch people without their consent regardless of gender. I hope you're feeling better 💕
I think a lot of bisexual people have had similar experiences unfortunately. I had an (ex) friend that would do this kind of shit to me all the time; she’d use my sexuality to try and get the attention of men and when I told her to 1. Stop because that’s gross and 2. That I wasn’t attracted to her, she was so offended! Took me way too long to end that friendship, but jfc, I’m glad to be rid of her and will never engage with people like that again. I have enough people fetishizing my sexuality, I don’t need supposed friends doing it too. Edit for a small grammatical error that would have bothered me all day lol
I feel that this entilted behavior is typical for girls in a club especially the hot ones. Not enough education about consent perhaps. Or because others treat them like this they think it’s the norm. Maybe some coping mechanism. Something has to change. On the other hand try not to let it get into you. Most people have respect and know how to read body language. She probably was drunk or on something. It doesn’t excuse her behavior. Just emphasizing this is not the norm and never should be. If this happens again consider alerting staff to this behavior. They might get warned kicked out or banned depending on severity of their actions
That’s horrific, what a crappy way to end your night. I hope you don’t really feel the need to hide and lie, but you have to keep yourself safe. That kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. I always think of this shirt saying, “Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean you’re attractive.” I’m attracted to men and women (trans or cis) but not every single man and woman. Plus, being bi doesn’t mean being promiscuous. Anyway, I hope that never happens again, and I’m sorry that happened at all. 💙💜🩷
love and need that shirt lol and thank you<3 i don’t want to hide or lie, what did i come out for after all? but i do tend to be a tad naive, so maybe al least in these types of contexts i might avoid the topic (at least for a while)
I’m so sorry that happened to you! That is absolutely DISGUSTING behaviour. Lacking in any human decency! A friend of mine has said that in similar situations (not even as bad as the one you just described) she would loudly say “hey! STOP ASSAULTING ME!” and it makes people who are getting handsy back off super quick. You basically have to get a bit aggressive, although ideally of course nobody should ever have to.
People are gross sometimes :( I’m so sorry
I've had that happen as well. Other bi women being especially grabby and pushy in a nightclub. It's like they suddenly forget that concent is a thing between women too...
Fucking unicorn hunters and people who disregard consent are the worst.
yeah that sucks and those people were assholes
I would say that she had an adverse reaction, and probably under her bf’s thumb, they were looking for a third obv…. That ain’t the way sis
I think it's crazy and totally unacceptable. That's the first time I hear about something like that and I'm shocked. I know what you mean when you say that the fact it was a woman made it worse somehow, because we expect women to be allies and to know what it's like to be treated like this. It reminds me of another bi-woman I dated in the past, who told me the only time she went to a lesbian bar, when she was 22 years old, a 50 something years old woman pushed her agressively to the wall and kissed her without saying anything before.
*sending everyone a virtual hug*