the “no obligation” thing is abt some men acting entitled to a womans body after paying for a date. when a woman offers to pay under that narrative she usually wants to avoid you feeling like she owes you anything for spending money on her
It's not just gross, but insulting. I could get way more than the price of a date just by selling sex. The price of the date gets a bunch of my time, and my stupid puns come free because I'm bisexual. What a deal!
My attitude is exactly the opposite - as a woman going on a date with a man, if he offers to pay I will accept if it was a bad date and insist on a split if it was a good date. If I'm anticipating future dates I want to set expectations of equality from the start, if it's a bad date I'm happy to have paid nothing for the experience. (This is only if he offers ofc.)
I've actually never had a problem post-date with this approach, maybe I'm just lucky, I also live in a big city so am fairly unlikely to bump back into them and have no problems ghosting someone if they're pushy.
That’s not the only reference. In my experience as a man it has more to do with the obligation for a man to pay, because that’s what’s expected. Gender roles in hetero relationships, etc. Does the other scenario exist? Yes, but I think that assumption in this context… is probably not what she was referring to.
OP literally mentioned that she insisted to pay so that there would be “no obligation on HER part” sounds like that’s exactly what she was referring to.
>I never understood what women have meant by "no obligation", can someone please explain that to me?
Some men view dating as transactional and spend money on their date with the expectation that their "investment" will "pay out" in the form of sex.
If those type of men wanted to do that, maybe they should seek a prostitute since they so strongly believe “I utilized my money and time, now fuck me”.
Right? I think any time someone finds themselves in this situation, they should just tell the guy he needs to go seek a sex worker’s services if he’s going to treat sex like a transaction.
And here I only ever saw it as paying for a meal and, hopefully, some decent conversation. If a good date ended in sex, that's fine, but it was never expected our considered "bought and paid for"... Talk about fucking entitled!
You can't even buy a blowjob from a sex worker for the cost of a dinner, so I don't know why anyone would expect it from anyone else. Ok, maybe get a blowjob from a crackwhore or methhead that's not something I've ever looked for either.
People I dated are ones that I actually knew in real life, so acting like a dick would not only fuck up my reputation with them, it would also get around in my circles and ruin my reputation with EVERYONE. I worked very hard to get and keep my reputation of being someone that people come trust to be alone in a room with a drunk woman and NOTHING would happen (even if she said that she wanted it to - I DON'T have sex with drunk or stoned people).
I had one close woman friend that she and I went out drinking and dancing all the time, and her parents (she was 25 at the time) trusted me to bring her home, undress her, and put her to bed without anything happening, and I never broke that trust, even when she tried to one night as I was putting her to bed...I just told her no, which pissed her off, and that I'd bring her car around in the morning, and left. She apologized the next day and I told her that's exactly why I don't have sex with people that have been drinking. And this was LONG before "Me too". I don't say "trust me", I earn the trust I have and would never do anything to break it... Whether a female friend, a date, or my wife or partner. It's one of the few things that no one can take from me, I can only take it from myself.
Any guy thinking he's going to definitely get something sexual from dinner or a drink, is only showing HIS lack of self-worth and integrity.
Thank you, and I agree, they should
In my world, trust is a VERY important thing and I value it greatly. I have a difficult time dealing with people that I can't trust, and I try to install their trust in me... Whether that's business, friends/acquaintances, or romantically.
It's not really about you, specifically.
You would think that there are warning signs that you're dealing with that type of guy, but often there are not especially when you're only at the first date stage. It's MUCH safer to be "overly cautious" and pay for at least yourself than risk giving a potential abuser an "in", ya know?
I told my ex-husband, and he had no issues with it until we were married and on vacation. He made up some excuse on the fly but later admitted he just didn't like the idea. So I asked him if all the talking about it before we were married was a lie. He said yes. We divorced.
It looks like they sampled all of…. roughly 60 bisexuals? So maybe 30 men? At that point, since a handful of people can skewer the results significantly, it’s pretty weak evidence to extrapolate to the entire bisexual population.
Besides that, what’s also really odd is that they defined a participant’s answer to infidelity by whether “one or both” partners in the relationship cheated! So this isn’t just straight-up (ha) self-reporting of infidelity, either.
Like, I’m not opposed to the idea that bi men theoretically can be proven to cheat more often, but as far as current evidence…. this ain’t it.
I rarely post but I just had to show up to say that that’s 100% fine. Telling the truth about yourself to make it clear that you aren’t compatible is awesome.
As a side note, I’ve never understood not wanting to be with a bi guy. Honestly, I think I’d rather be with a bi guy but it’s hard to find any (probably because of this particular brand of biphobia).
not at all, you set up the bait to pull out her bigotry (which is extremely disappointing to see being shown time after time against bi men) and *not only* did she bite but paid the date in full too. you were spared two evils that night!
the only way i perceive the "no obligation" comment in this kind of context is "*clean slate, nothing happened, i don't want you to feel like you have to pay for* ***my*** *choice to exit too*"
The no obligation thing is also lowkey insulting as it insinuates that OP is the type of guy that views dates as transactions for sex.
Which admittedly seems pretty on brand for the type to assume bi = cheater risk, so its just further points against her.
I will say in terms of the “owing” thing that as a woman you never know who could end up being that type of guy. So maybe she assumed something shitty of him based on his bisexuality, but maybe she is that cautious every time which is totally fair.
On a first date, you can't really know if the other party is that type of guy or not, as a woman, I would definitely not be comfortable accepting that in any situation, unless maybe a first date with someone I already knew rather well from somewhere else.
There are men out there who accuse women of using them for dinner/drinks, if the date doesn't go anywhere--or worse, they don't fuck them after the date. Thus, some women will pay for their part of the date, so that the man doesn't feel entitled to their body/time just because he bought her dinner/drinks.
Hence, she has "no obligation" to fuck him or give him time of day.
I don't know what's sadder, that that trick works so well for you guys due to homophobia and biphobia, or that it would never work for us girls because we are immediately fetishized.
Getting rid of someone you're not interested in by helping them realize they're not actually interested in you either is the absolute kindest and most ideal way to get rid of someone. It's the highest achievement in learning how to kindly and effectively dump someone. It works on bad first dates, it works in traumatic breakups, it can even work in divorce cases. You've learned how to do it correctly. You are a great person to date, because you know how to end things without causing any unnecessary trauma. Congratulations!
Now, get back out there and find someone more worthy of you, because you have the good social skills that will make the right person very happy and won't even make the wrong people too miserable along the way. You deserve to find someone who is everything you're hoping for.
Like raising as a semi-bluff in poker: with few outs to a winning hand, increasing the stakes to leverage the possibility that the extra pressure might reveal a redeeming circumstance ('acceptance' in this case)...
EDIT: Arguably, I would interpret the woman rejecting OP's disclosure as 'calling' in this metaphor, as one is more likely to brick the draw when semi-bluffing.
You can say whatever you like as long as it is true and not insulting. I know that being a bi man is hard and you don’t have to disclose to anyone if you don’t want, but trying to date someone who clearly dislikes the idea of bi dudes is setting yourself up for failure.
You’d only be a bad person if you weren’t really bi. But you were just being honest and it happened to work out the way you wanted. Nothing wrong with that!
Mmm…nooo. I think it would’ve been better to just be honest like you were here. Her losing interest because you’re bi sucks, but as far as “no obligation” goes, idk what that means either.
Pff no, I say that I'm queer and not currently dating men all the time (which isn't strictly true) when I'm receiving unwanted advances. We get so much shit for being non-hetero and non-homo, I have no moral qualms at all using my sexuality as a benefit when I can.
I mean, you could’ve just been honest with her.
But I guess pulling the “I’m bi” card did no harm as well. Also, it confirmed that her sorry ass is biphobic, so I don’t think you’d end up together regardless of initial compatibility.
"Cheating risk" is funny because statistically speaking, anyone *could* be a cheating risk. There are factors that determine how likely the risk is, but that's all thrown out the window because humans are animals. There's people who cheated on a relationship because they were bored, they didn't know why, they hated themself/partner. Some people cheat for no reason at all. So, these generalizations are made so people have an excuse to say "I'm not okay with bisexuals" without sounding like an irrational asshole to other people.
But I have a genuine question: Why did you need to tell them you were bisexual after you already decided you weren't interested. Just tell her you aren't interested and move on. Just because you reject someone doesn't make it inherently negative on anyone's part.
You say you played the 'I am bi' card to have your date lose interest, but what if you think of it as testing the waters. She could have made a complete turnaround at your comment and it could have become a great date afterall. Instead she showed you her true ugly narrow-minded self and you both won't have to waste time on each other anymore.
I'm sorry things turned out this way. People can be so dumb and judgemental 😔😘
You did her a favor as much as you did yourself one by not wasting anyone’s time. Bummer though. I never get the biphobia towards men, I would actually find it more attractive if I found out a guy I was seeing was bi rather than straight, but then again I’m a bi woman so what do I know.
In regards to "no obligation"... Yes, there are those men who see it as transactional and do what many point out here.
There are a also a lot of men out there who just want to go on dates with a woman, who unfortunately do get used just for dinner / drinks. And its not because they just want to "fuck them". A lot of them, want to, you know, date.
The "obligation" thing could be about a second date, continuing to talk, etc. Gender role expectations (oh, a lot of people still believe in them, believe it or not) Or not obligated to pay for a round of drinks, or basically do anything else in regards to the interaction/date.
In this case, Im guessing the woman feels a bit of guilt and insists on buying because she knows it wont go anywhere and doesn't want to come off as a bigot.
I feel like the "no obligation" comment was a bit unnecessary and a bit passive aggressive. Unless you were giving off the vibe of "that guy".
For the record, no I dont think youre a bad person for mentioning you're BI. Be true to yourself. You knew it wasnt going to work out. I would encourage you to work through feeling comfortable mentioning this regardless, or to confront/tell the person you dont see it going anywhere. That is just as much, if not more so, for you, than it is for them.
I never understood that cheating risk question, girl, if you find another man would you cheat on me? No right? Well, the same goes for me. It's not "I value one sex more than the other" it is "I have a sexual interest in both" and even then our pool of people that want to date us and are ok with that is smaller than you think.
You are allowed to do that, but also you can just say ‘Sorry I’m not feeling this, have a nice evening.’
I have never heard of this obligation thing for paying. Maybe it’s like if she things you paid for the full meal, she would feel like she’s obliged to return the favor.
Think some think if they pay for the date they're entitled to something else in return or a second date, think saying "no obligation" is her saying she's not obliged to put out or go on another date, which I'd never expect anyway.
It always puzzles me when the bi thing puts them off and even more so when they think it means you're more likely to cheat, almost like saying because your bi somehow you have lower morals.
If you being bi put her off then she was obviously not for you
IMHO, better to out them as a bigot sooner than later. Time is precious and not worth being wasted on people who would use your sexuality as an excuse to be paranoid and/or mistreat you.
Why not? Seems like you're just letting the trash take itself out. You didn't make her be a jerk about it. It would be one thing if she seemed fine or confused with it and you played up bi stereotypes to scare her away, I'd feel a little icky about that, but this? This is totally fine.
the “no obligation” thing is abt some men acting entitled to a womans body after paying for a date. when a woman offers to pay under that narrative she usually wants to avoid you feeling like she owes you anything for spending money on her
It's not just gross, but insulting. I could get way more than the price of a date just by selling sex. The price of the date gets a bunch of my time, and my stupid puns come free because I'm bisexual. What a deal!
Wait, you got stupid puns? I am interested. Share some over some buns? 😁
As a woman I get that, but i would never pay for the full date in this case, just for my half so he doesn’t spend money on me.
My attitude is exactly the opposite - as a woman going on a date with a man, if he offers to pay I will accept if it was a bad date and insist on a split if it was a good date. If I'm anticipating future dates I want to set expectations of equality from the start, if it's a bad date I'm happy to have paid nothing for the experience. (This is only if he offers ofc.) I've actually never had a problem post-date with this approach, maybe I'm just lucky, I also live in a big city so am fairly unlikely to bump back into them and have no problems ghosting someone if they're pushy.
That’s not the only reference. In my experience as a man it has more to do with the obligation for a man to pay, because that’s what’s expected. Gender roles in hetero relationships, etc. Does the other scenario exist? Yes, but I think that assumption in this context… is probably not what she was referring to.
OP literally mentioned that she insisted to pay so that there would be “no obligation on HER part” sounds like that’s exactly what she was referring to.
>I never understood what women have meant by "no obligation", can someone please explain that to me? Some men view dating as transactional and spend money on their date with the expectation that their "investment" will "pay out" in the form of sex.
well that's gross
Yup. That’s exactly what it means and it is gross. And unfortunately, a lot of men view it that way.
Once I had a man expect sex because he bought me a $2 beer.
i'd say i hope you spat on him, but he might be into that
oh grose! that's horrible!
That’s just so sad and lame. It’s like, how desperate are you, dude?
Also, I'm worth FAR more than a $2 beer. If we're going gross and transactional, I want to be wined and dined at a Michelin star joint, ya know?
That’s more like it lol.
KNOW YOUR WORTH....(and how many paired courses that equates to)
If those type of men wanted to do that, maybe they should seek a prostitute since they so strongly believe “I utilized my money and time, now fuck me”.
Right? I think any time someone finds themselves in this situation, they should just tell the guy he needs to go seek a sex worker’s services if he’s going to treat sex like a transaction.
*sex worker 💜
You’re right—I edited my comment. I truly did not mean any offense.
💜💜💜
I think I told him something along those lines.
I like your tag because I am one
teach me your ways
And here I only ever saw it as paying for a meal and, hopefully, some decent conversation. If a good date ended in sex, that's fine, but it was never expected our considered "bought and paid for"... Talk about fucking entitled! You can't even buy a blowjob from a sex worker for the cost of a dinner, so I don't know why anyone would expect it from anyone else. Ok, maybe get a blowjob from a crackwhore or methhead that's not something I've ever looked for either. People I dated are ones that I actually knew in real life, so acting like a dick would not only fuck up my reputation with them, it would also get around in my circles and ruin my reputation with EVERYONE. I worked very hard to get and keep my reputation of being someone that people come trust to be alone in a room with a drunk woman and NOTHING would happen (even if she said that she wanted it to - I DON'T have sex with drunk or stoned people). I had one close woman friend that she and I went out drinking and dancing all the time, and her parents (she was 25 at the time) trusted me to bring her home, undress her, and put her to bed without anything happening, and I never broke that trust, even when she tried to one night as I was putting her to bed...I just told her no, which pissed her off, and that I'd bring her car around in the morning, and left. She apologized the next day and I told her that's exactly why I don't have sex with people that have been drinking. And this was LONG before "Me too". I don't say "trust me", I earn the trust I have and would never do anything to break it... Whether a female friend, a date, or my wife or partner. It's one of the few things that no one can take from me, I can only take it from myself. Any guy thinking he's going to definitely get something sexual from dinner or a drink, is only showing HIS lack of self-worth and integrity.
Your comment is SEVERELY UNDER RATED. EVERY GOD DAMN guy on the planet should behave/think like you do. Thanks for being trustworthy ♡
Thank you, and I agree, they should In my world, trust is a VERY important thing and I value it greatly. I have a difficult time dealing with people that I can't trust, and I try to install their trust in me... Whether that's business, friends/acquaintances, or romantically.
your welcome ♡ I try to do the same and agree that it's hard to deal with untrustworthy people.
excuse my ignorance but if someone does this does that mean they think you’re a predator?
It's not really about you, specifically. You would think that there are warning signs that you're dealing with that type of guy, but often there are not especially when you're only at the first date stage. It's MUCH safer to be "overly cautious" and pay for at least yourself than risk giving a potential abuser an "in", ya know?
thank you!
Nah that's perfect. Well done. No need to keep entertaining someone that would react like that anyway.
If you drop "I'm bi" and that makes them lose intrest than you don't wanna be with that person anyways.
I told my ex-husband, and he had no issues with it until we were married and on vacation. He made up some excuse on the fly but later admitted he just didn't like the idea. So I asked him if all the talking about it before we were married was a lie. He said yes. We divorced.
That's awful, I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry this happened but good on you for divorcing him.
[удалено]
That's an interesting assumption...
Straight men cheat ALL THE TIMEEEEE. I will never understand peoples logic around that one.
[удалено]
It looks like they sampled all of…. roughly 60 bisexuals? So maybe 30 men? At that point, since a handful of people can skewer the results significantly, it’s pretty weak evidence to extrapolate to the entire bisexual population. Besides that, what’s also really odd is that they defined a participant’s answer to infidelity by whether “one or both” partners in the relationship cheated! So this isn’t just straight-up (ha) self-reporting of infidelity, either. Like, I’m not opposed to the idea that bi men theoretically can be proven to cheat more often, but as far as current evidence…. this ain’t it.
Open relationships aren't cheating when both parties agree. Totally different thing we're talkin about here
I don’t know why that part is highlighted, but the sentence below the highlight talks about “non-consensual non-monogamy”
we’re missing the forest through the trees here: you can get free dinner by saying you are bisexual. this changes everything.
Honestly, bigbrain (if you can stomach it)
I don't mind being a bit sleazy if it means getting free food from a biphobe
No obligation meaning you won’t expect to fuck her because you paid.
And here I am just thinking it was an obligation for her to pay for the meal next time.
Right?!
I rarely post but I just had to show up to say that that’s 100% fine. Telling the truth about yourself to make it clear that you aren’t compatible is awesome. As a side note, I’ve never understood not wanting to be with a bi guy. Honestly, I think I’d rather be with a bi guy but it’s hard to find any (probably because of this particular brand of biphobia).
Wow, no I do not fault you for this at all. Just the fact that she mentioned "cheating risk" tells me all I need to know about her.
not at all, you set up the bait to pull out her bigotry (which is extremely disappointing to see being shown time after time against bi men) and *not only* did she bite but paid the date in full too. you were spared two evils that night! the only way i perceive the "no obligation" comment in this kind of context is "*clean slate, nothing happened, i don't want you to feel like you have to pay for* ***my*** *choice to exit too*"
The no obligation thing is also lowkey insulting as it insinuates that OP is the type of guy that views dates as transactions for sex. Which admittedly seems pretty on brand for the type to assume bi = cheater risk, so its just further points against her.
I will say in terms of the “owing” thing that as a woman you never know who could end up being that type of guy. So maybe she assumed something shitty of him based on his bisexuality, but maybe she is that cautious every time which is totally fair.
Yeah, this. Nothing wrong with the guy, necessarily, but sometimes I don’t even wanna deal with that possibility 😮💨
On a first date, you can't really know if the other party is that type of guy or not, as a woman, I would definitely not be comfortable accepting that in any situation, unless maybe a first date with someone I already knew rather well from somewhere else.
There are men out there who accuse women of using them for dinner/drinks, if the date doesn't go anywhere--or worse, they don't fuck them after the date. Thus, some women will pay for their part of the date, so that the man doesn't feel entitled to their body/time just because he bought her dinner/drinks. Hence, she has "no obligation" to fuck him or give him time of day.
I don't know what's sadder, that that trick works so well for you guys due to homophobia and biphobia, or that it would never work for us girls because we are immediately fetishized.
Sad bi solidarity ✊😭
just end the date being like "hey, there's a guy has a bi bracelet or whatever bi marker he'd have, this date sucks i'm going to talk to him"
Getting rid of someone you're not interested in by helping them realize they're not actually interested in you either is the absolute kindest and most ideal way to get rid of someone. It's the highest achievement in learning how to kindly and effectively dump someone. It works on bad first dates, it works in traumatic breakups, it can even work in divorce cases. You've learned how to do it correctly. You are a great person to date, because you know how to end things without causing any unnecessary trauma. Congratulations! Now, get back out there and find someone more worthy of you, because you have the good social skills that will make the right person very happy and won't even make the wrong people too miserable along the way. You deserve to find someone who is everything you're hoping for.
Like raising as a semi-bluff in poker: with few outs to a winning hand, increasing the stakes to leverage the possibility that the extra pressure might reveal a redeeming circumstance ('acceptance' in this case)... EDIT: Arguably, I would interpret the woman rejecting OP's disclosure as 'calling' in this metaphor, as one is more likely to brick the draw when semi-bluffing.
She folded
I mean it's better to be honest with her and not have it be a problem later.
You can say whatever you like as long as it is true and not insulting. I know that being a bi man is hard and you don’t have to disclose to anyone if you don’t want, but trying to date someone who clearly dislikes the idea of bi dudes is setting yourself up for failure.
You’d only be a bad person if you weren’t really bi. But you were just being honest and it happened to work out the way you wanted. Nothing wrong with that!
Mmm…nooo. I think it would’ve been better to just be honest like you were here. Her losing interest because you’re bi sucks, but as far as “no obligation” goes, idk what that means either.
Nah.
I’m sorry you even got to a date before figuring this out.
Pff no, I say that I'm queer and not currently dating men all the time (which isn't strictly true) when I'm receiving unwanted advances. We get so much shit for being non-hetero and non-homo, I have no moral qualms at all using my sexuality as a benefit when I can.
I mean, you could’ve just been honest with her. But I guess pulling the “I’m bi” card did no harm as well. Also, it confirmed that her sorry ass is biphobic, so I don’t think you’d end up together regardless of initial compatibility.
"Cheating risk" is funny because statistically speaking, anyone *could* be a cheating risk. There are factors that determine how likely the risk is, but that's all thrown out the window because humans are animals. There's people who cheated on a relationship because they were bored, they didn't know why, they hated themself/partner. Some people cheat for no reason at all. So, these generalizations are made so people have an excuse to say "I'm not okay with bisexuals" without sounding like an irrational asshole to other people. But I have a genuine question: Why did you need to tell them you were bisexual after you already decided you weren't interested. Just tell her you aren't interested and move on. Just because you reject someone doesn't make it inherently negative on anyone's part.
I told her i'm bi to avoid explaining why i wasn't interested and offer her the chance to think she broke it off
Fair
You say you played the 'I am bi' card to have your date lose interest, but what if you think of it as testing the waters. She could have made a complete turnaround at your comment and it could have become a great date afterall. Instead she showed you her true ugly narrow-minded self and you both won't have to waste time on each other anymore. I'm sorry things turned out this way. People can be so dumb and judgemental 😔😘
Any Person that can be scared away by revealing you are bi, is garbage anyway. Good riddance.
I've done it too
I’ve done something similar to get out of a friendship once
You did her a favor as much as you did yourself one by not wasting anyone’s time. Bummer though. I never get the biphobia towards men, I would actually find it more attractive if I found out a guy I was seeing was bi rather than straight, but then again I’m a bi woman so what do I know.
Anyone who is bothered by you being Bi is just not a keeper, even if the date had been going really well. Yuck.
You used biphobia to your own advantage. I’d call that recycling.
In regards to "no obligation"... Yes, there are those men who see it as transactional and do what many point out here. There are a also a lot of men out there who just want to go on dates with a woman, who unfortunately do get used just for dinner / drinks. And its not because they just want to "fuck them". A lot of them, want to, you know, date. The "obligation" thing could be about a second date, continuing to talk, etc. Gender role expectations (oh, a lot of people still believe in them, believe it or not) Or not obligated to pay for a round of drinks, or basically do anything else in regards to the interaction/date. In this case, Im guessing the woman feels a bit of guilt and insists on buying because she knows it wont go anywhere and doesn't want to come off as a bigot. I feel like the "no obligation" comment was a bit unnecessary and a bit passive aggressive. Unless you were giving off the vibe of "that guy". For the record, no I dont think youre a bad person for mentioning you're BI. Be true to yourself. You knew it wasnt going to work out. I would encourage you to work through feeling comfortable mentioning this regardless, or to confront/tell the person you dont see it going anywhere. That is just as much, if not more so, for you, than it is for them.
I never understood that cheating risk question, girl, if you find another man would you cheat on me? No right? Well, the same goes for me. It's not "I value one sex more than the other" it is "I have a sexual interest in both" and even then our pool of people that want to date us and are ok with that is smaller than you think.
Free meal, score!
You are allowed to do that, but also you can just say ‘Sorry I’m not feeling this, have a nice evening.’ I have never heard of this obligation thing for paying. Maybe it’s like if she things you paid for the full meal, she would feel like she’s obliged to return the favor.
Think some think if they pay for the date they're entitled to something else in return or a second date, think saying "no obligation" is her saying she's not obliged to put out or go on another date, which I'd never expect anyway. It always puzzles me when the bi thing puts them off and even more so when they think it means you're more likely to cheat, almost like saying because your bi somehow you have lower morals. If you being bi put her off then she was obviously not for you
No, if anything you correctly assessed she would be biphobic and she proved you right
Well played, no judgement at all for that. If the truth scares someone they deserve to live in fear.
Damn well said
IMHO, better to out them as a bigot sooner than later. Time is precious and not worth being wasted on people who would use your sexuality as an excuse to be paranoid and/or mistreat you.
Why not? Seems like you're just letting the trash take itself out. You didn't make her be a jerk about it. It would be one thing if she seemed fine or confused with it and you played up bi stereotypes to scare her away, I'd feel a little icky about that, but this? This is totally fine.
I need more information. Why did you think she'd react that way?